Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,463
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt
living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear
the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ It's so weird ♪
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy
♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a
regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is
treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's
ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet
is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:12,293
[Mrs. Helperman] And that, class,
is how our school's namesake's
master,
30
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:15,915
Franklin D. Roosevelt, got this
swelleriffic country of ours
31
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,080
through the great depression--
32
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:20,916
with a can-do attitude,
a big, bright smile,
33
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,830
and his famous pronouncement--
34
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:28,537
"The only thing we have
to fear is fear itself."
35
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,999
Ha. In regard to public
speaking, he also said,
36
00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:37,253
"Be sincere, be brief,
be seated."
37
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,543
Ha ha ha.
38
00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:40,125
[bell rings]
39
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:41,828
Snack break!
Ha ha!
40
00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:43,037
Snack sensibly, now,
41
00:01:43,125 --> 00:01:45,785
and come back with those
chipper cheeks all rosy posy.
42
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:47,375
[sighs]
43
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:49,208
Coming, Leonard?
44
00:01:49,291 --> 00:01:50,921
I'm gonna stay here.
You go.
45
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,000
You're skipping snack break?
46
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:55,833
Snack break--
the brief antemeridian respite
47
00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:59,537
wherein we knit up the raveled
sleeve of the morning's care,
48
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:02,995
filled with the happy sounds
of children at play,
49
00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:06,923
giggling girls comparing
notes on schoolyard crushes?
50
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,540
Of course there's also
the fear of physical torment
51
00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:12,035
by alpha-male wannabes,
52
00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:15,455
but still, all in all
snack break is good fun!
53
00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:16,882
For you maybe.
54
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:19,959
For me it's just another chance
for Leslie to ignore me.
55
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:22,381
Well, you're certainly
not gonna get her to sit up
56
00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:25,128
and take notice
by cowering behind your desk.
57
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,788
Come on, bunkie.
58
00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:29,665
Today we put the lessons
of Franklin D. Roosevelt
59
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,000
into practice.
60
00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:34,293
Today you'll not fear your fear,
but face it head-on.
61
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,575
You will not allow Leslie
to ignore you.
62
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,787
You will engage her, charm her,
63
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:42,875
tell her of the depths
of your passion for her.
64
00:02:42,959 --> 00:02:45,289
I can't do that!
What if she rejects me?
65
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:47,955
She probably will,
but it'll be good for you.
66
00:02:48,041 --> 00:02:49,921
Trust me.
67
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,170
[coyote howls]
68
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:57,878
Hmm. Speed bump
on the road to Leslieville.
69
00:02:57,959 --> 00:02:59,959
Where is everyone?
70
00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:02,291
Could be a mass
alien abduction.
71
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:04,415
We'd be safer inside.
72
00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:14,627
Snacks half-uneaten,
juice-box foil seals poked open,
73
00:03:14,709 --> 00:03:17,169
but the juice left unswilled.
74
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:19,710
Must be something
big going on.
75
00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,043
Together: Hello?
76
00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:26,915
Shh! Quiet!
Get in here!
77
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,380
Close the door.
Close the door!
78
00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,502
Well, well, well.
79
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,133
What playground ritual
have we stumbled upon here?
80
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:40,958
Truth or dare.
Wanna play?
81
00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:44,171
Nah. I'll just meet you guys
back in the classroom.
82
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,920
Nothing breeds intimacy
like sharing secrets, Len.
83
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,750
This is a golden--
nay, a platinum opportunity
84
00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:54,214
to forge an unbreakable bond
with Leslie.
85
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:55,791
Don't pass it up.
86
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:58,495
All right. All right.
We'll play.
87
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:00,923
Leonard will play.
I'm gonna sit out.
88
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000
What?!
89
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:05,753
Some "tails" are
best left untold,
90
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,424
if you get my drift.
91
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,040
So here's how it works--
92
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:11,915
we ask you truth or dare.
If you pick truth,
93
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,380
then we ask you a question
and you have to tell the truth.
94
00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:17,167
If you pick dare,
95
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,580
we dare you to do one thing
and you have to do it.
96
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:21,917
Ooh! Ooh!
I'll do it!
97
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,080
Give me another dare!
Oh, no, no, no.
98
00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:25,996
I got one.
Ian.
99
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,713
Yes?
100
00:04:27,792 --> 00:04:29,752
Eat a frog leg and jelly sandwich.
101
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,964
Oh, okay.
102
00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,713
[all] Eww!
103
00:04:33,792 --> 00:04:35,882
It's not even your turn,
"Eeuw-an."
104
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:38,129
Truth or dare, Leonard.
105
00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,958
I guess I'll take a truth.
106
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:44,001
Attaboy, Leonard.
No fear.
107
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:48,133
Let's see... something
simple, but scary.
108
00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:50,418
Just kibitzing, mind you,
but might I suggest
109
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,710
"who's your favorite girl
in the class?"
110
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,712
Scott!
111
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:55,382
Oh, good one.
112
00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:57,878
[all] Ooh!
113
00:04:57,959 --> 00:04:59,879
Oh, that's perfect.
114
00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:02,169
Who's your favorite girl
in the class?
115
00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:05,495
Well, Leonard?
Who is it?
116
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:14,665
I-i-i-i-i-i--
117
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:16,290
[bell rings]
118
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:17,745
I'm saved!
119
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,084
Saved by the bell.
120
00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:22,666
You're only saved till
tomorrow at first recess.
121
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,920
We'll expect
your answer then.
122
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,130
Yeah,
your honest answer.
123
00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:32,964
Perfect. That gives you nearly
24 hours of fear-facing,
124
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,961
character-building
misery to endure.
125
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:37,881
This is gonna be very,
very good for you, Leonard.
126
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,459
I don't see how any
of this is good for me.
127
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,172
It's simple, Lenny.
128
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,790
Facing our fears, whatever they
may be, is one of the processes
129
00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:48,535
by which we grow into
well-balanced adults.
130
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:52,044
Good morning,
Principal Strickler.
131
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,915
Wasn't it Solon
of Athens who said
132
00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:58,001
"each day grow older
and learn something new"?
133
00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,213
Whatever.
134
00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:03,711
Well, what demons plague
our glorious leader today?
135
00:06:06,709 --> 00:06:08,329
Here she comes, Tallulah.
136
00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:11,077
Quickly, hide my
male-pattern baldness.
137
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:13,706
Good morning,
Miss Sproutwell.
138
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:14,922
Good morning.
139
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000
I wonder if you'd care to--
140
00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:20,043
[Tallulah growls, meows]
141
00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:23,455
Tallulah, is it possible
that my thinning hair
142
00:06:23,542 --> 00:06:26,962
has made me unattractive
to women of the opposite sex?
143
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,501
Clearly some adults have
conquered their fears
144
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,083
more thoroughly than others.
145
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:38,035
[Spot barks]
146
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,496
Yes, Spot, I think
Leonard's home.
147
00:06:42,417 --> 00:06:45,327
Loyal dog welcomes
young master home from school.
148
00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:48,417
Oh, how I cherish
the daily charade!
149
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:50,213
[thud]
150
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,250
Mom! Package!
151
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,003
The sturdiness of which
152
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,173
is exceeded only by the folly
of its placement.
153
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,793
Ah. Home sweet home--
154
00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:06,245
where nobody ever
has to face their fears.
155
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,673
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Oh, boyareenie!
156
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:11,080
Special delivery
for Mr. Jolly!
157
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:14,076
A package for me?
158
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,076
Is it my birthday
or is this just one of those
159
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,326
random, senseless
acts of beauty?
160
00:07:18,417 --> 00:07:21,247
Your entire existence is
a random, senseless act,
161
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:22,713
and it ain't beautiful.
162
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:25,334
Ta-da!
Ha ha ha!
163
00:07:25,417 --> 00:07:27,997
It's the super-duper,
no need for a scooper,
164
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,963
automated,
self-cleaning kitty box.
165
00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:33,881
It has a paw-pressure sensitive
litter separator,
166
00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:36,629
instant aromatherapy
air freshener,
167
00:07:36,709 --> 00:07:38,959
and a digitized
voice-alert system.
168
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,541
Isn't it fabulicious?
169
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,830
Well, I-I bet you'd like
a little privacy.
170
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:48,287
All righty-dighty.
Have fun.
171
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:51,825
Boy, this baby's loaded.
172
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,081
Don't you want to take it for
a quick whiz around the block?
173
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,665
I fear change.
174
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,290
What?! Come on!
This thing cost a fortune.
175
00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:02,205
You can't just stand there
staring at it
176
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:03,461
and shaking like a leaf.
177
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:04,962
You gotta face your fears!
178
00:08:05,041 --> 00:08:06,461
You talkin' to me?
179
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:09,632
Why did you say that?
I don't want to face my fears.
180
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:12,285
Can't everyone
just leave me alone?
181
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:14,381
Whacked! I tell you--
182
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,708
this whole meshugeneh family
is whacked.
183
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:30,250
Isn't that new litter box
just wonderful?
184
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,333
It smells just
minty fresh--
185
00:08:32,417 --> 00:08:34,877
almost like it had
never been used.
186
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:37,169
Would you stop being
such a schmegeggy?
187
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,790
You gotta start thinking
inside the box.
188
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,745
I-- that is--
say, you know,
189
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:43,834
I never got to say
goodbye to my old box.
190
00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:45,877
I mean, after all we
went through together,
191
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,879
it just doesn't
seem right, does it?
192
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:49,499
Old box, where are you?
193
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:53,253
If you don't use that box, i'm
gonna lose all respect for you.
194
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,253
Don't say that!
195
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,503
Your respect is all I have.
196
00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,333
Then into the box you go.
197
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,826
Okay. Here I go.
198
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:08,077
Um, no, maybe--
no, I should.
199
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,076
No.
200
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,326
[sighs]
201
00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:16,128
[man] The cat
has entered the box!
202
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,538
Yaahhh!
203
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:20,960
Have you ever seen
anything like that?
204
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:24,291
He's one big, sopping-wet
fur ball of fear.
205
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:27,125
Then it's up to you,
his fine feathered friend,
206
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,038
to help him meet
his terror head-on,
207
00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:31,075
as I have done with
my good friend Leonard.
208
00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:32,916
Can we talk about that?
209
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,920
I've got about 12 hours before
my life is ruined--
210
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,750
Would you wait a minute,
Leonard?
211
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:39,714
What I'm saying is,
212
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:42,422
you've really gotta be there for
your friends when they need you.
213
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,420
Well, I don't usually
take on projects
214
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,210
involving cat psychology,
215
00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:48,251
but hardware like that
shouldn't go to waste.
216
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:50,133
All right.
I'll do it.
217
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:51,328
Thataboy.
218
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:53,537
Now, then,
onto helping my friend.
219
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:56,205
Leonard, I suggest
you face your fear
220
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,333
of Leslie's rejection
rationally
221
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:00,537
by examining your options
222
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,825
and projecting all
the possible outcomes.
223
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:06,457
Well, I really only
have two choices.
224
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:10,292
Option one--
tell the honest truth.
225
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,575
Hmm. Let's play out
that scenario.
226
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,287
[sighs]
227
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,915
My favorite girl
in the class,
228
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,290
in fact, in the whole world,
is Leslie.
229
00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,785
[all gasp]
230
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,246
[giggles]
231
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,043
[laughs nervously]
232
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:29,915
Heh heh heh!
Ha ha ha ha!
233
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,460
A-ha ha ha ha ha!
234
00:10:32,542 --> 00:10:34,882
[laughter]
235
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:59,247
I think I'll skip option one.
236
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:04,383
Option two-- I could lie
and say I like someone else.
237
00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:07,458
My favorite girl
in the class is...
238
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,502
Younghee.
239
00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:11,423
Oh, Leonard!
240
00:11:14,417 --> 00:11:17,747
Younghee?
Oh, Leonard, how could you?
241
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:21,294
I love you.
I've always loved you.
242
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:22,745
What? Really?
243
00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,334
Hey, let go!
244
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,577
Oh, to think of the life
we could have had together,
245
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,497
you and I...
246
00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:31,713
But now, that will never be.
247
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,292
I never want to see you again,
Leonard Helperman.
248
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:37,375
Now that I know about
you and Younghee,
249
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:40,498
it would be
just... too... painful.
250
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,924
Leslie, no!
Wait!
251
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,710
Those are my options--
252
00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:49,962
rejected by the entire universe
or married to Younghee?
253
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,881
This is all your fault!
254
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,379
You're right, Leonard.
255
00:11:53,417 --> 00:11:55,957
I got you into this.
I can get you out of it.
256
00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:58,461
I've got a plan
for you to win the game
257
00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:01,212
without having to answer
the gossipy questions
258
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,501
of the fourth-grade
scandalmongers.
259
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:06,543
You'll just have to face
a different kind of fear.
260
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:11,293
My answer is--
my answer is--
261
00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:13,035
go ahead, Leonard.
262
00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:18,375
That I like-- I like--
I'd like to take a dare instead.
263
00:12:18,458 --> 00:12:19,628
-No way!
-No way!
264
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,539
-That is so illegal.
-What? No way!
265
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:22,825
What's the matter with you?
266
00:12:22,917 --> 00:12:24,247
Forget it.
267
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:27,793
Unless it's a really hard dare.
268
00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:30,325
Ooh! Ooh!
Like, Ian.
269
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,287
Yes?
270
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:34,575
Blow a double-sided
earwax bubble.
271
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:35,827
Oh, okay.
272
00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:37,747
[Mr. Strickler]
Mr. Wazselewski.
273
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:43,878
[laughs]
Nice rug.
274
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:46,499
What? Oh, yes.
275
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:50,793
The new multimedia-room
carpeting is quite attractive.
276
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,495
[all laugh]
277
00:12:52,583 --> 00:12:54,083
Oh, man.
278
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,996
Cleopatra may be the
queen of de-nial,
279
00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,383
But our principal
is its king and emperor.
280
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:02,708
Ha ha ha ha!
De-nial! You get it?
281
00:13:02,792 --> 00:13:04,752
I crack myself up.
282
00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:06,754
Did I hear you children
participating
283
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,834
in the strictly forbidden
game of "truth or dare"?
284
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:09,997
Forbidden?
285
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,383
Strictly!
286
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,418
It's rule number two in
the big book of rules.
287
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,420
"No truth or dare,"
288
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,580
right after rule number one,
"no dogs."
289
00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:22,997
This game will cease
and desist immediately.
290
00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:26,423
[all] Yes, sir!
291
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,000
Okay, Leonard,
it's still your turn.
292
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,133
What? We can't keep playing.
293
00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:33,458
Principal Strickler just said
it's against the rules.
294
00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:35,672
Yeah, well,
judging by the way
295
00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:37,750
he tries to hide
his thinning hair,
296
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,834
strickler obviously doesn't
understand that facing our fears
297
00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:44,327
is, like, totally how we grow
into well-balanced adults.
298
00:13:44,417 --> 00:13:46,127
Right?
299
00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:48,328
Couldn't have said it
better myself.
300
00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:49,917
We've got it!
301
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,170
We'll let you do a dare,
Leonard.
302
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:56,540
We dare you to take
Principal Strickler's toupee,
303
00:13:56,625 --> 00:13:58,245
and then put it
on top of the statue
304
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,253
in front of the school.
305
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,133
Oh, no!
306
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,458
Oh, you're gonna
get in trouble.
307
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:11,500
You have 24 hours to do it,
Leonard.
308
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,333
Great plan, Scott.
309
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:16,077
I've gone from being scared
of rejection by Leslie
310
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:18,996
to fear of ejection
from the whole school.
311
00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:21,333
I know it sounds like
dark times, Leonard,
312
00:14:21,417 --> 00:14:24,417
but don't you worry.
I've got a plan.
313
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,580
I was kind of afraid
you were gonna say that.
314
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:38,082
No! No, no, no, no, no!
315
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:40,126
[water runs]
316
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:53,334
[man on TV] Niagara Falls-- you can
almost feel the pounding pressure
317
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:57,627
of 600,000 gallons per second
of watery flow.
318
00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:02,039
No fear is worth enduring
this level of internal torment.
319
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,497
No. No, I can't.
320
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:10,793
Despite the swelling feelings
deep inside of me,
321
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:14,245
I just can't betray
my old box.
322
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,333
It violates the sacred, age-old
cat/litter box relationship.
323
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,327
Oh, for pity's sake.
324
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:21,997
Here, you big baby,
I'll show you how it's done.
325
00:15:23,417 --> 00:15:25,957
[man]
The cat has entered the box.
326
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,631
Waste material detected.
327
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,209
[gasps]
328
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,671
W-What are you doing?!
I'm a living creature here!
329
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,460
[man] Waste material being
processed.
330
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,582
Waste material eliminated.
331
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:39,497
You realize, of course,
this means war!
332
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:41,575
[bell rings]
333
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:46,327
You've got one hour.
334
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:49,377
Ask not for whom
the lunch bell tolls.
335
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:51,458
It tolls for thee.
336
00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:54,882
Come on, Lenny.
We've got a job to do.
337
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:56,959
Oh, yes, Tallulah,
338
00:15:57,041 --> 00:16:00,291
this is the day that the
attractive new art specialist,
339
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:04,455
Miss Sproutwell, meets the new,
hairier, more manly me.
340
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,790
Got it!
341
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:11,785
[growls]
342
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:14,535
Helperman and Leadready?!
343
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:18,825
A model student like you
in disciplinary hot water?
344
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,077
Strange times.
345
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,286
Strange times.
346
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,495
To my office, boys.
347
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,423
Great. We're busted.
348
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,330
Don't worry, bunkie,
it plays right into our hands--
349
00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:32,997
or paws, as the case may be.
350
00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:37,173
Fishing for defenseless felines
on school property?
351
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:40,330
Would you care to offer
an explanation?
352
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,328
We only transgressed the law
in order that we might
353
00:16:43,417 --> 00:16:45,957
gain access to your inner
sanctum, Principal Strickler.
354
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:48,535
We know what a stressful
life you lead--
355
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:51,455
responsible for the molding
of so many young minds.
356
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:54,002
It must be exhausting.
357
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:57,213
There's no denying
this job has cost me
358
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:59,711
a healthy
hair follicle or two.
359
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:04,003
And that is why we've brought
you some warm milk and cookies.
360
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:05,793
Why, thank you.
361
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,875
And a nice, high-tryptophan
Turkey sandwich.
362
00:17:09,458 --> 00:17:11,668
Why not sit back, relax,
and enjoy them
363
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,880
while we play
some soothing music?
364
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:15,079
Leonard.
365
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,753
[soft, relaxing music plays]
366
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:22,334
Mmm. Mmm.
367
00:17:25,917 --> 00:17:28,287
That's right.
Savor that warm milk.
368
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:31,575
Let the tension flow
from your body.
369
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:36,000
Thank you, Leadready.
That's really very thoughtful.
370
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:39,333
I--
[snores]
371
00:17:39,417 --> 00:17:41,917
Wow. It worked.
Quick! Get the toupee!
372
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,080
Why don't you get it?
373
00:17:43,166 --> 00:17:45,706
Uh, no opposable thumbs.
374
00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:47,035
Is it just me,
375
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,205
or does that only slow
you down when it's convenient?
376
00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:54,922
Hurry, Leonard!
377
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,210
Unbelievable.
They got it!
378
00:17:57,291 --> 00:17:59,921
Yeah, but they still have
to put it on the statue.
379
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,130
And they're almost
out of time.
380
00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:05,419
[snores]
381
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,170
My scalp enhancer-- gone!
382
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,920
I've been hoodwinked!
383
00:18:18,792 --> 00:18:20,212
Give me a boost!
384
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:22,541
[grunts]
385
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:26,995
-Ahh!
-Ahh!
386
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,420
No!
387
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,750
[bell rings]
388
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,214
We fail?
389
00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:34,251
Give me that!
390
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,253
I am gonna throw the book
at you for this one,
391
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:39,543
Helperman-- a very large,
very heavy book.
392
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,170
Oh, good day,
Miss Sproutwell.
393
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,250
Hello.
394
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:47,785
I mean, good day,
Principal Strickler!
395
00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,375
Have you done something
with your hair?
396
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:55,037
Why, I-- yes, it's--
behind my back.
397
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:59,035
Well, I say leave it there,
my little lotus flower.
398
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:00,785
Lotus flower?
399
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:04,210
Oh, I love it when
you talk new-agey.
400
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:08,631
And I love the--
the gleaming, piercing honesty
401
00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:12,579
of your baldness,
the unabashed manliness of it,
402
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:15,247
refusing to succumb
to the cowardly, comb over,
403
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,503
rug-wearing vanity
of the world.
404
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,463
Would you like to see
my layered-crayon etchings?
405
00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,672
It would be
my great pleasure.
406
00:19:23,083 --> 00:19:24,423
Thanks, Helperman.
407
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:28,290
I've always been terrified
of facing my thinning hair,
408
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:31,875
but now, thanks to you,
I love it.
409
00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:34,705
Well, that worked out
splendidly.
410
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,212
We're off the hook
with Strickler.
411
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:39,381
But not with us.
Your dare failed.
412
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:41,418
Next recess,
you face the truth.
413
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,500
[bell rings]
414
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:43,753
All right, Leonard.
415
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,134
Who is your favorite
girl in the class?
416
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:47,708
And this is your final answer.
417
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,826
We're back where we started--
just you and your fear--
418
00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:53,877
face to face, tête-à tête,
mano a mano.
419
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,629
Fine, you win.
420
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:59,789
My favorite girl
in the class is... Leslie.
421
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:02,960
Well, duh!
422
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:05,251
Tell us something
we don't know.
423
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,500
Yeah, everyone knows that.
424
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,583
-They do?
-Well, sure.
425
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,707
Just like everyone knows who
my favorite boy in the class is.
426
00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:15,747
Okay, my turn!
I'll take a dare!
427
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,504
Ooh, I got one!
Ian.
428
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:18,423
Yes?
429
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,790
Drink an entire chocolate milk
from your belly button.
430
00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:22,415
Oh, okay.
431
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,997
Come on, Leonard.
We're done here.
432
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,673
[all] Ew!
433
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,040
I can't believe it.
434
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:31,035
I told Leslie
that I like her,
435
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:33,075
and I actually feel
better about it.
436
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:36,036
Hello!
Did I not foretell this?
437
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:39,415
You faced your fear
and gained a little maturity
438
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,170
even though
Leslie rejected you.
439
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,880
What do you mean?
Leslie didn't reject me.
440
00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:46,629
She said everyone knows
who her favorite boy was.
441
00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:47,829
That had to be me.
442
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:50,003
Oh, I beg to differ.
443
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,500
She was obviously
referring to me.
444
00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:54,333
Sorry. Me.
445
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:55,787
Unh-unh. Me.
446
00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:57,205
Nope. Me.
447
00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,751
Me, me, me.
Is that all you ever think of?
448
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:04,495
♪ See the streaming
Of a gentle shower ♪
449
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:07,633
♪ Feel the pounding
Of a river's power ♪
450
00:21:07,709 --> 00:21:10,539
♪ Hear the babbling
Of the babbling brook ♪
451
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:15,165
♪ Use the litter box,
You schloompy, schmucky schnook ♪
452
00:21:16,333 --> 00:21:18,543
You should try it,
Mr. Jolly.
453
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,745
I faced my fear
and it worked out fine.
454
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:22,884
Oh, all right!
All right, already.
455
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,999
I submit, I submit.
456
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,785
[man]
The cat has entered the box.
457
00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:29,455
I-- ooh.
458
00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:32,172
Why, it's not so bad
the second time around.
459
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,750
Did you hear that?
I did it!
460
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:37,786
[man]
The cat has utilized the box.
461
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:40,785
In fact, I find the voice
rather soothing.
462
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,825
[man] The cat has left the box.
463
00:21:42,917 --> 00:21:46,917
Ha ha! Hear how it
calls me "the cat"?
464
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,170
You only ever call me
by those yiddish names
465
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:50,420
I don't understand.
466
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,000
I think I have
a new best friend.
467
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,503
[purrs]
468
00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:56,213
What?! What kind
of gratitude is that?
469
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,580
Fine. This is what I think
of your new best friend.
470
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:01,417
[beeps]
471
00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:10,130
Okay, so I fear expressions
of intimacy.
472
00:22:11,250 --> 00:22:12,630
What are you staring at?!
34033
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
