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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:01:08,709 --> 00:01:12,289
[marching music plays]
30
00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:15,745
[man reads]
31
00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,921
Yes, sir, sure as the sap rises
in the springtime,
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00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,830
boys from all over gathered at
33
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:26,207
the Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree
of United Neighborhood Councils
34
00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:28,001
of rangers across the state.
35
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:29,753
For two days of fun,
friendship,
36
00:01:29,834 --> 00:01:31,674
and bitter
head-to-head competition.
37
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:35,420
And once again, the West East
Westland Wolfpack
38
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,960
took home
the large trophy of importance.
39
00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:39,961
The wolfpack is always
a sure-fire...
40
00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,041
Pain in my belly.
41
00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,575
Every year, those kids win
the skills competition.
42
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:48,247
Every year, they lead the parade
at the closing ceremony.
43
00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,043
And every year, where are we?
44
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:53,495
In the back, with the miserable,
humiliated losers!
45
00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:56,133
Now, I understand
we all had a lot of fun
46
00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:57,748
at the jamboree last year,
47
00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:00,884
but wouldn't it be fun
to win the thing just once?
48
00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,379
[all] Yeah!
49
00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:06,328
Wouldn't it be fun to bring home
the large trophy of importance?
50
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,627
[all] Yeah!
51
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,579
Wouldn't it be fun
to crush those kids
52
00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:15,497
from West East Westland into
little pieces of dirt and bone?!
53
00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,753
-Uh... Okay?
-I don't know.
54
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:21,634
Hey, uh, don't tell your folks
I said that last part, okay?
55
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,209
Sir, I think I speak
for everyone when I say,
56
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:25,791
we're with you
all the way.
57
00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:28,245
Um, e-except for the, uh...
Well, you know.
58
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,043
If those guys
are a great team,
59
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:33,705
then we'll just work hard
until we're a greater team.
60
00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:36,502
Sir, Leonard
is absolutely right.
61
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,463
I swear to you now that ere
the last lanyard is laced,
62
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,212
we will be the champions
63
00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:45,381
of this year's
Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree
64
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:49,708
of United Neighborhood Councils
of rangers across the state!
65
00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:51,712
The JBRJUNCRATS!
66
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,292
Unfortunate acronym.
67
00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:56,165
But it doesn't make our task
any less serious.
68
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,670
Boys, we must work together
as a team
69
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:02,080
and perfect every skill
in the Junior Boy Ranger manual.
70
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:05,376
Teddy,
work on your knot tying.
71
00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:07,668
Ian, master first aid.
72
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:12,040
Leonard, hone your skills
with the semaphore flags.
73
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:16,955
In short, friends,
let's become a winning team!
74
00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:23,627
Or we could just let Scott
win all the events.
75
00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:24,789
That works for me, too.
76
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:25,705
[muffled cheering]
77
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,417
[chanting] Scott! Scott!
Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott!
78
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:31,705
[marching music plays]
79
00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:36,249
♪ I know a special word ♪
80
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:39,503
♪ It starts with a capital "T" ♪
81
00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:43,503
♪ Add little "e," little "a," little "m" ♪
82
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:46,963
♪ And you spelled out "team" for me ♪
83
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:50,711
♪ And "me" and "me" and "me" make "we" ♪
84
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:54,632
♪ And I believe we can all agree ♪
85
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:58,289
♪ That that's the way
It should always be ♪
86
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:01,955
♪ We're a team with a capital "T" ♪
87
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:06,213
[fanfare plays]
88
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:22,923
[cheering]
89
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,710
Ladies and gentlemen, the
opening ceremony has concluded,
90
00:04:27,792 --> 00:04:30,672
you'll see every second live
on the Marginal Sports Network.
91
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,040
Hooray! Hooray!
92
00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:34,875
Thank you, cable TV,
and your vast, gaping maw
93
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:37,079
of airtime
needing to be filled.
94
00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:39,706
You and your Junior Boy Ranger's!
Ptooey!
95
00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:41,632
I know it's counter
to your nature,
96
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,709
but would you try
not to denigrate
97
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,172
that of which
you know nothing.
98
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,130
I find the jamboree
very intriguing.
99
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,128
Maybe for dummies
with no life,
100
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,538
but not
for Pretty Boy Helperman.
101
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:55,245
Oh, shush,
and pass me a s'more.
102
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,673
Coming up, the first event,
103
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,790
pitting the East Westland Eagles
104
00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,995
against the
West East Westland Wolfpack,
105
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,673
will be team tent pitching!
106
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:09,580
[crowd cheering]
107
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,170
An entire group
to pitch a one-pup pup tent?
108
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,500
What a terrible waste
of boypower.
109
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,583
[whistle blows]
110
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,170
Eat my brilliance!
111
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:34,380
Unfortunate metaphor,
but you get the point.
112
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,748
Go, Eagles!
113
00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:38,634
[cheering]
114
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,460
[claps unenthusiastically]
115
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:45,002
The human-pyramid competition
goes to East Westland...
116
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,583
As well as
117
00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:48,879
the make-a-cardboard-cutout-
of-yourself competition.
118
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:50,379
Naturally.
119
00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:51,288
[ding]
120
00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:52,705
[buzzing]
121
00:05:53,625 --> 00:05:56,165
[all] Oh, man!
122
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,080
[laughing and cheering]
123
00:05:59,125 --> 00:05:59,955
[clears throat]
Ooh.
124
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,294
[Scott] Bandage making,
bird calling--
125
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:05,785
Hmm, old-lady-across-the-street
helping--
126
00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,785
and practical-catapult building.
127
00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:11,625
Hey, Lenny, there's two more
events I can combine into one.
128
00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:12,539
[screams]
129
00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:14,455
[groans]
130
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,495
Don't strain yourself
congratulating me.
131
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:19,463
Scott,
I'm happy we're winning,
132
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:22,212
but don't you think
you're forgetting something?
133
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:24,461
There's an old expression
that goes,
134
00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:25,962
"there's no 'i' in 'team.'"
135
00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:28,131
Yes, but there's a "me" in "team"!
136
00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,328
[sighs]
Good night, Scott.
137
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:34,247
There's also "meat," "tame,"
"mate," "ate," "eat," "tam,"
138
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,883
"mat," "met," "at,"
139
00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:38,249
and, for all
you Latin scholars,
140
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,383
"et," as in
"et tu, brute?"
141
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:41,288
[whistle blows]
142
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:42,996
[crowd cheering]
143
00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:49,167
Okay, boys, this hike
is our path to glory--
144
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:51,330
glory-- do you hear me?!
145
00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:54,877
[sleepily]
J-just five more minutes, Mom.
146
00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:55,789
[yawns]
147
00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,332
Please pay strict attention
148
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,667
to the rules
of the team-hike competition.
149
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:01,830
They will be read once...
150
00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:03,827
Don't worry,
this is in the bag...
151
00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:06,327
The first troop
to hike the full distance
152
00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:08,627
under its own power
with no outside help
153
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,749
and successfully reach
the summit
154
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:12,294
of Little Bignose Rock--
155
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,705
not to be confused
with Big Bignose Rock--
156
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,132
shall be declared the winner.
157
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:19,708
...and I'll lead us to
Big Bignose Rock and victory!
158
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:22,502
Uh, Scott, I think you're wrong.
The judge said--
159
00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,963
let me do the thinking.
160
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,131
You do the following
and the sharing in the credit.
161
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:28,328
Okay.
162
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,540
-[whistle blows]
-Troop, ho!
163
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,955
[all] Hup, hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup, hup!
164
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,541
Troop, ho!
165
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:38,375
[all] Hup, hup...
166
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,500
Looks like somebody I know could
use a nutritional supplement.
167
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,961
I got to tell you,
I do not understand this, Ted.
168
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,751
The Eagles
seem to be marching--
169
00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:52,884
if you can use that word
to describe their movements--
170
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,379
to Big Bignose Rock,
171
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,418
while The Wolfpack
makes a beeline for...
172
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:57,630
Little Bignose Rock!
173
00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:59,379
Go back!
Go back, Scott!
174
00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,748
They're going the wrong way, Jolly!
175
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,924
Oh, for the love of liver,
take it easy, will you?
176
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,290
I can't bear to watch!
177
00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:09,375
See? Regional sports
can be quite fascinating.
178
00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:10,788
Onward! Onward, boys!
179
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,075
Glory for our team
is just--
180
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,246
glory for our team
is somewhere
181
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,253
behind that huge Boulder
blocking our way.
182
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,383
Heh heh.
Eh...Okay, now.
183
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,878
We're not lost.
No reason to panic.
184
00:08:22,959 --> 00:08:25,329
Scott, we are lost.
185
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,455
We are?!
186
00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:29,082
What do you mean we're lost?!
We can't be lost!
187
00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,916
This is Big Bignose Rock.
188
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,710
We were supposed to hike
to Little Bignose Rock.
189
00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:36,382
Little... Bignose Rock?
190
00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:39,958
People, you think next time
you name things around here,
191
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,331
you might work
a little harder?!
192
00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,127
Well, thanks for telling me
193
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,328
we were going
in the wrong direction!
194
00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:47,787
There goes our trophy.
195
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,325
You mean your trophy.
196
00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,667
This hasn't been about us
for weeks.
197
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,880
It's not about the team.
It's all--
198
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:56,749
look, I don't really have
the energy to go on with this.
199
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:59,044
You know what I'm getting at,
right?
200
00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:01,205
Ohh...what have I--
201
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:07,002
oh, what have I done?!
202
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,333
Well...
I've learned my lesson.
203
00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:12,497
From now on,
there is no "me" in "team"--
204
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,173
only "we" in team.
205
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:17,210
Let's ignore the obvious
impossibility of that statement
206
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:20,211
and concentrate on the spirit
of it, right, guys?
207
00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:21,381
-Huh?
-Huh?
208
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:22,748
-Guess so.
-Okay.
209
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:23,754
What?
210
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,044
I'll take that.
211
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:26,625
This is my solemn vow--
212
00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:29,749
henceforth, I will respect
your ranger skills
213
00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:32,084
and allow us to work
as a team!
214
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:34,916
Just as soon
as I single-handedly lead us
215
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,420
to Little Bignose Rock
and victory!
216
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:40,582
Aaaaaaaah!
217
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,247
Guys!
218
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,333
Down here!
219
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,877
Okay, guys, this is where
you really teach me my lesson.
220
00:09:47,959 --> 00:09:51,419
You pull together, use all
your ranger skills to rescue me,
221
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,420
and win the trophy
as a true team!
222
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,210
It's ironically perfect.
223
00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:59,381
Scott, we forgot all that
skill stuff once you took over.
224
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,290
Or it's just ironically depressing.
225
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:03,825
I know, I know, I know!
226
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,247
If we find a giant finger
somewhere,
227
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,463
we can reach down
into the ravine
228
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,832
and flick you out!
229
00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,417
Hehhhh!
230
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,630
I think I'll just wait for the
wild animals to pick me apart,
231
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,039
if you don't mind.
232
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,415
[boy] Wolfpack, ho!
233
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,710
What the--
234
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,420
Wolfpack, halt!
235
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,630
Initiate handkerchief maneuver
number 7!
236
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,499
[all] Yes, sir!
237
00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:33,829
How ironically appropriate.
238
00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,037
Thank you, boys.
239
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,325
You saved me,
knowing full well
240
00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:40,997
I would then beat you and claim
victory for East Westland.
241
00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,713
Actually, the rules say
you're disqualified
242
00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:46,502
if you finish the hike
with any outside help.
243
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:50,633
You know, I should
really start paying attention
244
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,669
to those rule thingies.
245
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,460
And there they are, folks--
246
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,252
the West East Westland
Wolfpack,
247
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,833
winners of
the large trophy of importance
248
00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:00,537
for the ninth year in a row!
249
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,455
Oh, someday I'll win.
250
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,080
Aw, don't feel so bad.
You just can't help yourself.
251
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,826
I don't feel bad
for myself.
252
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,327
I feel bad for you
and the rest of the guys.
253
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:16,417
At least last year
when you lost, you had some fun.
254
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,380
Now it's all over.
255
00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:18,578
It's not over yet.
256
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:21,537
The parade's gonna go on
for at least another hour.
257
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:22,535
You mean...?
258
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:23,785
Let's have some fun!
259
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,075
Yahoo!
260
00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,826
Last one to
the potholder-making pavilion
261
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:29,127
is a rotten egg!
262
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:32,208
I have got to teach that dog
to lighten up a little.
263
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:08,291
[narrator] The outlook isn't brilliant
in East Westland this fine day.
264
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:12,325
A friendship will be tested,
and there will be heck to pay.
265
00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:16,457
The fighting won't be over
girls or tacos at the mall,
266
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:20,542
but tryouts for East Westland's
Mighty Bitty League Of Ball.
267
00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,415
Ah, baseball!
268
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,790
The roar
of the foul-line paint...
269
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,785
The smell of the mound...
270
00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:29,785
Eh...that can't be right.
271
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,285
Perhaps I should
read up on the game a tad.
272
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,245
Don't worry.
I'll help you out.
273
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:37,133
I just hope we get on a team--
any team.
274
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:41,918
Make way for the coach and star
of the Fighting Festering Sores!
275
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,420
Eh heh heh heh!
276
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,380
Perhaps not any team.
277
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:48,578
[narrator] The coaches, they assembled.
The whistle, it was blown.
278
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:52,577
The pitcher, he got ready.
And the tryout had begun.
279
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:55,917
And after just one mighty hit,
it was plain for all to see
280
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,540
who the newest, hottest,
281
00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:59,165
coolest first-draft pick
would be.
282
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:02,920
Ha hey! This is fun!
283
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:03,830
[crowd cheering]
284
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,829
Scott's performance
on the field
285
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,577
was bright and superstarry.
286
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:12,827
But the best that could be said
for our poor Leonard was...
287
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,127
Sorry.
288
00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:18,208
Aaah!
289
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,130
Eek!
290
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,998
Yes! Yes!
291
00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:24,923
Oh, yeah! I did it!
292
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000
Okay, he hit one.
We can come out of hiding now.
293
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,833
Scott, guess what?!
I'm on a team!
294
00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:32,787
Sure, it's Ian's team and it's
named after a facial blemish
295
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,455
and I'm batting 12th and playing
right field adjacent,
296
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:36,752
but I'm on a team!
297
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,044
Hey, that's great.
298
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,165
How'd you do?
299
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,670
Oh...not bad.
300
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:43,040
He's on my team!
I saw him first!
301
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,205
No way, loser!
That kid is mine-- all mine!
302
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:49,081
They're fighting over me,
Leonard! It's incredible!
303
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:52,416
Who would have thought when
I first arrived at your school
304
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,830
a scant eight months ago--
305
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:57,127
eight months? You've only lived
in this town for eight months?
306
00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,788
Do you mind?
I'm exulting here.
307
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,825
If you want to play
in our league,
308
00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:04,877
you have to have lived
in the district for a full year.
309
00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:07,459
Scott,
I'm sorry you can't play.
310
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:11,382
Yeah, well...That's the way
the spitball slips, I suppose.
311
00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:13,878
It's a good thing
I can take it.
312
00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:17,129
Aaaaaaaah!
313
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,628
Aaaah!
I can't take it!
314
00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:22,214
It's not so bad.
You can play next season.
315
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:24,631
Hello!
I'm a dog, Leonard--
316
00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:28,079
a "one year
equals seven dog years" dog.
317
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:30,576
Ohhhhh!
Cruel, cruel fate!
318
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:31,787
It doesn't seem right.
319
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,785
I mean, I'm not that good,
and yet, I get to play.
320
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,325
And you, you're...
321
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,537
The greatest thing
to happen to the game
322
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,495
since the invention
of the funnel cake,
323
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,133
and I can only sit
and watch.
324
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,498
Oh, it's all so unfair,
325
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,833
so inconsolably,
so unmitigatedly--
326
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,457
hold that tragic thought.
327
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:51,042
Must one have lived here
for a year to be a coach?
328
00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:53,165
-No.
-Much obliged.
329
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,920
Thanks for waiting,
Leonard.
330
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,460
Great news--
I can coach!
331
00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:57,502
Coach?
332
00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:58,633
Yes!
333
00:14:58,709 --> 00:15:00,749
I can join your team
and coach you!
334
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,334
It's a natural--
I'm a great player, you...
335
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,707
Stink on ice?
336
00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:06,672
A little vulgar,
but fair enough.
337
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,040
It's perfect, Leonard.
338
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,575
I'll pass on
my gift for the game to you!
339
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,497
But Mr. Wazselewski's
the manager.
340
00:15:12,583 --> 00:15:15,673
You think he and the rest of the
team will go along with this?
341
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,750
-Yes, please!
-Oh, yes, Scott, please!
342
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:18,924
Do it, Scott!
343
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,130
Oh, I think they're onboard.
344
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:24,128
Here's how you show 'em
the old pepper. Ha ha ha!
345
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:27,705
[sizzling]
346
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:29,577
You follow?
347
00:15:29,709 --> 00:15:30,539
Uh-huh.
348
00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:39,291
Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back!
349
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:41,705
Gone! Goodbye!
350
00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:43,332
Is it my turn yet?
351
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,500
Uhhh!
352
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:50,633
Pttt!
353
00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:53,169
Great catch, Leonard.
You're learning fast.
354
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,130
Stick with me,
and before you know it,
355
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,958
you'll be in the majors--
the show.
356
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,961
But I'm happy
just being on Ian's team
357
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,791
and playing
right field adjacent.
358
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,575
Nobody ever hits there,
so I can't screw up too bad.
359
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,627
Good, good.
Keep playing modest.
360
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,879
Nobody likes
an arrogant superstar.
361
00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,289
Take it from me.
362
00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:10,535
Now back to work.
363
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,625
Let's go over the signs.
This one...
364
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,170
...means "hit a home run."
365
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:18,960
This one...
366
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:21,581
Means
"hit a big, big home run."
367
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,667
I think I like this one better.
368
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,830
What's that?
369
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,537
"Hold your bat up
and pray for a bunt."
370
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:28,455
[crowd cheering]
371
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:30,713
Whoo-hoo!
372
00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:31,832
Ho, boy!
373
00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:34,667
Now, Ian will bat first,
Ruth second,
374
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:37,170
Muddy third,
Leonard fourth...
375
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,830
[all groan]
376
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,997
What?! Leonard gets to play
center field and bat cleanup?
377
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,003
[scoffs]
He can't field or hit!
378
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:46,213
I know.
I didn't ask for this.
379
00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:48,631
Ugh! What clown
made this lineup?!
380
00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:50,249
Foam fingers!
381
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:54,293
Get your special commemorative
Leonard Helperman foam fingers!
382
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,075
Guaranteed to go up in value
383
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,536
when Lenny makes
the big leagues!
384
00:16:58,625 --> 00:16:59,705
Oh, no!
385
00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:00,712
Scott--
386
00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:01,672
Hiya, champ.
387
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,500
Aaah!
388
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,503
Scott, what are you--
389
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,543
Nice, huh?
No time to thank me now.
390
00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:10,535
You've got some grand slams
to hit today, brother.
391
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,165
I can't bat cleanup
and play center field.
392
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,290
I'm no good.
393
00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:15,995
Nonsense.
You've really improved.
394
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,383
Now, just remember
everything I showed you
395
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,788
and believe in yourself,
and you'll do great.
396
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,417
Well... okay.
397
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,330
[panting]
398
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,668
But you have to promise
you'll stop embarrassing me.
399
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,000
You have my solemn word.
400
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:39,133
♪ O'er the land
Of the free-e-e-e-e-e-e! ♪
401
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:43,415
♪ And the ho-o-o-o-o-me ♪
402
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:47,880
♪ Of the bra-a-a-a-a-a-ve ♪
403
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:53,539
♪ And nobody's braver
Than Leonard, yeah! ♪
404
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:55,665
[drumming]
405
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,464
[narrator] Poor Leonard hoped and prayed
406
00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:03,502
he'd make at least one catch
that day.
407
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,423
-Boo!
-Come on!
408
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,420
Poor Leonard's prayers
weren't answered,
409
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,000
but Scott had missed the play.
410
00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:10,293
Gimme an "L"!
411
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:11,575
Gimme an "E"!
412
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,667
Gimme an "O"!
413
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,460
Ugh!
414
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:15,382
[all gasp]
415
00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:18,582
Ohh! Gimme an ice pack!
416
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:19,497
[organ playing]
417
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,285
There were no two ways about it.
418
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:26,575
It was time to make a switch.
So Scott told poor Leonard...
419
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,747
Guess what?
You're gonna pitch!
420
00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:34,535
The answer wasn't pitching,
catching, or playing first.
421
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,995
Then Leonard
got his turn at bat.
422
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,293
Things went from bad to worse.
423
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:42,535
[crowd booing]
424
00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:47,792
The other festering sores
were as gnarly as their name.
425
00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:49,375
They scratched
with tooth and nail
426
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:51,248
and got back into the game.
427
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,583
Dude, you pick it up.
428
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:55,627
Ian's bat touched it!
I'm not going near that ball!
429
00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:59,499
Ha ha! Ha ha haaaaa!
Ha haa!
430
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,543
[panting and slobbering]
431
00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:09,043
Finally, the wildcats' lead
was down to 10 to 9.
432
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:13,535
Leonard, he came up to bat
and Scott gave him the sign.
433
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:14,785
What?
434
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,705
Strike one!
435
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:19,134
[all boo]
436
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:22,038
Hit a game-winning
home run!
437
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:23,575
I'm trying!
438
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,207
Strike two!
439
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,581
Are you crazy?!
That's no strike!
440
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,037
Scott, it's okay.
441
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:34,495
No, it's not okay!
The bat never crossed the plate!
442
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:37,583
It almost crossed my face!
Strike two!
443
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,577
Stop kicking dirt
on my shoes!
444
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,787
Oh, ohhh! So it's dirt
you're afraid of, huh?
445
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,455
I'll give you dirt!
446
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,172
Scott! Stop it!
I've had enough!
447
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:51,040
Yeah, I've had enough
of this umpire, too!
448
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,825
Mix in some laser eye surgery
next time!
449
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:56,037
No! It's you
I've had enough of!
450
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,245
Me?!
451
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,963
And you're not helping me!
You're driving me crazy!
452
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,631
How could you say that
after all I've done for you?
453
00:20:02,709 --> 00:20:05,169
Do you know how long that
mascot head took me to make?
454
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,460
You don't have the easiest
cranium to sculpt, you know!
455
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:09,712
It's irregularly shaped!
456
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,632
Don't you see?
You didn't do all this for me.
457
00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:15,079
You did it for you
because you can't play.
458
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,666
If you really wanted
to be my friend,
459
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,540
you'd help me
at something I'm good at
460
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,665
and not try to live out
your failed dreams through me.
461
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,330
Well, boo hoo hoo!
462
00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:25,578
I am going to make you
a ballplayer if it kills you!
463
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:27,457
Have it your way, coach!
464
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:30,082
I'll just swing
as hard as I can, then.
465
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:32,246
Fine!
You do that, scooter!
466
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,463
[all gasp]
467
00:20:36,041 --> 00:20:36,921
[all gasp]
468
00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:39,924
[both gasp]
469
00:20:47,959 --> 00:20:51,379
All eyes were on Leonard
as he came back to the plate,
470
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,458
afraid that he would strike out
and forever seal his--
471
00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:56,422
wait! Bunt!
472
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,380
Bunt?! I can't!
473
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,580
Eek!
474
00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:06,667
[announcer] It's a perfect bunt
by Leonard Helperman!
475
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:09,670
And here comes muddy Walters
to score the winning run!
476
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,960
Sores win!
477
00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:18,581
Thanks, Scott.
I appreciate it.
478
00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:20,377
You were right all along,
Leonard.
479
00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:22,578
I just let you do the thing
that you're good at.
480
00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:25,327
And now for the thing
that I'm good at.
481
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:31,417
Today, I consider myself
the luckiest, handsomest boy
482
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,790
on the face of the earth.
483
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,535
Because today,
I learned a lesson
484
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:39,495
about what it means
to have a friend--
485
00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:42,173
a loyal friend,
a dedicated friend,
486
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:44,960
the best, most wonderful...
487
00:21:45,041 --> 00:21:48,381
Ah, but enough about me.
Let's hear it for Leonard!
488
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:51,208
[cheering]
489
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,460
[narrator] Oh, somewhere
in this favored land,
490
00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,382
the sun is shining bright,
491
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,328
the band is playing somewhere,
492
00:22:01,417 --> 00:22:03,537
and somewhere,
hearts are light.
493
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,995
That somewhere
is East Westland,
494
00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:08,963
where the Wildcat team
was shunted
495
00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:11,711
and a friendship
saved from ruin
496
00:22:11,792 --> 00:22:14,292
because mighty Leonard bunted.
35915
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