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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,577
[alarm clock rings]
30
00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,497
[yawns]
31
00:01:13,917 --> 00:01:15,827
[Mrs. Helperman] Rise and shine!
Ha ha!
32
00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:19,077
You two bunk buddies, get this
room cleaned up.
33
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,630
Ohh!
34
00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:27,378
Ung!
35
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:28,498
Nnng!
36
00:01:28,583 --> 00:01:30,963
[thud]
37
00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,462
[narrator on TV] The animals of the
Serengeti Plains
38
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:54,882
are happy to have a place to cool off
39
00:01:54,959 --> 00:01:56,749
on this hot summer day.
40
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,714
All is calm and serene.
41
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:03,132
That is, until the king of the
big cats arrives.
42
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,878
No animal on the planet is more feared
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,669
than the male African lion.
44
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,040
I bet you didn't know we were cousins.
45
00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:13,535
A 500-pound eating machine.
46
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,495
[Pretty Boy] That sounds about right.
47
00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,293
A fierce predator.
48
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:18,325
Aaah!
49
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,828
And there,
all similarity ends.
50
00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:23,417
And a distant cousin of that
cuddly tabby
51
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,920
in your living room.
52
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,330
See, Mr. Smarty Pants?
53
00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:28,247
[whistles]
54
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:30,580
[yawns]
55
00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,753
Careful, Leo, you might throw
out your back.
56
00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,924
You're the one who'd better be careful,
57
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,380
'cause I am just a slightly
smaller version
58
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,498
of that killing machine
on TV.
59
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:44,753
Unfortunately, years of
domestication and pampering
60
00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:47,794
have rendered today's house cat
about as fierce as a butterfly.
61
00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,165
Huh?
62
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,210
So dependent on human beings is
the modern feline
63
00:02:52,291 --> 00:02:54,671
that if it weren't for the fire
department,
64
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,420
our trees would be filled with
helpless kitties.
65
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,580
Oh, yeah,
that's you all over.
66
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,377
Lies! Lies, all of it!
Outrage!
67
00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:04,288
It's slander is what it is!
I'll sue, I'll tell you!
68
00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:07,745
They'll rue the day they messed
with Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss,
69
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:09,584
I'll tell you that right now.
70
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,827
First of all, would the king of
the jungle hire an attorney
71
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:15,127
to gain rights to the watering hole?
72
00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:17,628
And second of all,
Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss?
73
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:18,919
Are you kidding me?!
74
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,456
It's a family name,
75
00:03:20,542 --> 00:03:23,332
from the Louisiana Puddinpusses,
if you must know.
76
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,377
But you're right about one
thing--
77
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:28,038
the only way I'm gonna reclaim
my catness
78
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,415
is to go out and take it.
79
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,750
Now you're talking!
80
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,384
From now on, you will call me
Mr. Jolly.
81
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:35,458
That's what I always call you.
82
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,632
No more Mr. Nice guy for this
pussycat!
83
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:38,959
Right on, baby!
84
00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:42,581
Mr. J. is mad as heck and he's
not gonna take it anymore!
85
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:43,627
I'm a big, bad cat,
86
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:46,419
and it's high time I started
acting like one.
87
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,670
You go, girl!
I mean, boy.
88
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:52,330
Right after I wake up from my
little nappy-poo.
89
00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:53,247
[snoring]
90
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:57,287
As predictable
as the sunrise.
91
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,042
[indistinct conversations]
92
00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:08,382
[honk]
93
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,128
Yo, Kareem, how's it going?
94
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,328
Pretty good.
95
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,287
I'm just working on my jump shots.
96
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:19,079
You might have better luck with
that jump shot
97
00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,076
if you actually worked a jump
into it.
98
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,666
Oh, right.
99
00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:27,963
Call me crazy,
100
00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:30,421
but I'm thinking as long as
you're jumping anyway,
101
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,540
why not take the shot while
you're up in the air?
102
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,075
Hey, good idea.
103
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,285
I have just one word for you,
Leonard-- soccer--
104
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:40,535
popular the world over
105
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:43,415
and totally not reliant on
hand-eye coordination.
106
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,460
Think about it.
107
00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:47,382
I guess I just wasn't meant to
play the sport of kings.
108
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:48,958
That would be horse racing,
109
00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:51,291
but you should stay away from
that, too.
110
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,825
Hey, you kids wanna play a
little deuce on deuce?
111
00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:55,787
No, thanks.
We were just leaving.
112
00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:57,915
What my friend meant
to say is,
113
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,920
"we were just leaving to try and
find a game,"
114
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,920
but now a game has found us.
We'd love to play.
115
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,250
We can't play them.
116
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,083
That's Max and Miles Torqueson,
117
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,496
the champs of the whole fifth grade.
118
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,793
Exactly, that's why we must play them.
119
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,705
Are you crazy?!
Look at them!
120
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:16,132
They've gotta be, like, 5 feet tall!
121
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:19,378
And in case you didn't notice,
I stink at basketball.
122
00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,498
We'll be humiliated!
123
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:24,293
Yes, but if we beat them, we'll
be glorified, lauded,
124
00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,575
extolled, even!
125
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:29,167
Imagine, Leonard, you and me,
kings of the playground!
126
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,210
[cheering, fanfare playing]
127
00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:32,382
[booing]
128
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,325
I don't think so.
129
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,627
You are such a bring-down!
130
00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:39,459
Look, Leonard, the reason you
can't play basketball
131
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:40,922
isn't because you can't play
basketball.
132
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,790
It's because you think too much
about playing basketball.
133
00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:45,915
What should I think about,
bowling?
134
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,670
No, I think you should think
about nothing.
135
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,790
Now, that's something I'm good at.
136
00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:53,495
You missed my point like you
missed that basket.
137
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:56,673
You should play the game without
thinking about it.
138
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,670
Just let it happen.
Let it flow.
139
00:05:58,750 --> 00:05:59,630
Be the ball.
140
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:00,959
Huh?
141
00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:04,041
Look, remember how we cleaned up
the room this morning?
142
00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:07,035
You didn't think about getting
the toys in the closet.
143
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,575
They just went in, right?
144
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,707
Yeah, I guess.
145
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:12,672
All you have to do is pretend
we're cleaning up the room.
146
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,000
The ball is a dirty shirt,
147
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,213
and the basket is the clothes hamper.
148
00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:18,381
Go ahead, try it.
149
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,538
[East-Asian music plays]
150
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,076
Yes! All right!
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
151
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,576
Let's get it on!
152
00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:30,627
What my friend is trying to say
is we're ready to play now.
153
00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:33,669
Okay, winner's out, 21 wins,
losers begin,
154
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,080
and that would be you.
155
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:36,626
That goes without saying.
156
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:38,919
Remember, no thinking.
157
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,673
Lucky basket.
158
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,880
Come on, Max!
Guard the blue kid!
159
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,420
Yah! Get that garbage out of
here!
160
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:57,040
You're...very tall.
161
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:05,753
The fearsome cat moves through
the living room
162
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:10,584
like a silent menace tracking
his unsuspecting quarry.
163
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:15,037
The unsuspecting rodent is no
match for the cunning feline.
164
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:15,955
[chuckles]
165
00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:18,419
Hey, fur ball,
what's shaking?
166
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,080
Aaaah!
167
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:20,996
[crash]
168
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:22,996
[sighs]
169
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:24,705
The winner!
170
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,582
Beaten by a fake paper mouse!
171
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:30,627
My, oh, my, you are one pathetic
pussycat.
172
00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:34,249
That, my molting housemate,
was a big mistake.
173
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:37,333
Oh, yeah? Why?
You gonna do something?
174
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,957
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do
something.
175
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:43,421
But not now, 'cause that would
be too easy.
176
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,210
I'm gonna show you just how bad
this kitty can be.
177
00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:49,921
One of these days, maybe today,
maybe tomorrow,
178
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,170
maybe two weeks from next
Thursday,
179
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,460
you're gonna turn a corner,
and there I'll be.
180
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,792
11 pounds of--
181
00:07:55,875 --> 00:08:00,665
well, okay, 19 pounds of fur and
fury waiting to pounce.
182
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,580
Oh, I'm so scared.
183
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,417
Spread the word!
The king of the beasts is back!
184
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,460
Aaaah!
185
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:08,002
[Whimpering]
186
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,130
Yes!
187
00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:32,326
[growling]
188
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,497
Go, Scott!
189
00:08:48,083 --> 00:08:49,503
Come on! Go!
190
00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:51,423
Come on, man!
191
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,790
Great shot!
192
00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:55,455
And that makes it 20 to 19.
193
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:58,042
Prepare to lose, dudes.
194
00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:00,957
Yeah!
All right!
195
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,081
[screeching]
196
00:09:11,709 --> 00:09:12,539
[cheering]
197
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,498
Yes!
198
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:16,633
That makes it 20 to 20!
199
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:20,499
Now you can prepare to
lose... dudes!
200
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:30,705
[cheering]
201
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:33,457
Fifth graders rule!
202
00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:34,712
Yeah! Yeah!
203
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,832
Fifth graders rock!
204
00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:37,747
[groaning]
205
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:42,785
Wow, we sure had to work hard to
beat those fourth graders.
206
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,915
Dude, this is a hollow victory
indeed.
207
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,380
Let's not tell Dad.
208
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:47,458
Right.
209
00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:48,962
Wow, we almost beat 'em!
210
00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:51,291
Who would have thought losing
could feel this good?
211
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,205
I gotta admit,
it's a new one on me.
212
00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,831
You guys
were totally awesome.
213
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,327
-Totally.
-Awesome.
214
00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:57,498
Hey, thanks, guys!
215
00:09:57,583 --> 00:09:58,923
Oh, man, did you hear that?
216
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,790
Taylor, Tyler, and Trevor said
we were awesome.
217
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,955
We were awesome, Leonard,
and by the by,
218
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,581
that's exactly why I don't want
you feeling bad
219
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,417
about that last pass.
220
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,580
Well, by the by, I don't feel
bad about the last pass
221
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:12,167
'cause it was perfect.
222
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,630
[chuckles]
Not to overstate the obvious,
223
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,709
but if the pass had been
perfect,
224
00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:19,002
we would now be the 2-on-2
champions
225
00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:21,753
of the fourth and fifth grades,
don't you think?
226
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,504
Actually, what I think
227
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,753
is that if the person who was
supposed to catch the pass
228
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,384
was where he was supposed to be,
we would now be
229
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:30,958
the 2-on-2 champions of the
fourth and fifth grades.
230
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,421
[all] Ooh.
231
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,920
Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, sad
little Leonard--
232
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,500
so young and yet so very,
very wrong.
233
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:41,503
I'm sure you think the pass was perfect,
234
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:44,463
but I'm sorry to say you're
sadly mistaken.
235
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,922
I don't think the pass was perfect.
236
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,211
It was perfect.
237
00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:49,461
-Was not.
-Was too!
238
00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:50,632
And if you weren't being
239
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,419
Mr. Hot-dog showboat
fancy pants,
240
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,960
it wouldn't have been picked off.
241
00:10:54,041 --> 00:10:55,501
[all] Oooh!
242
00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:58,923
Oh, really, Mr. "I can't hit the
broad side of a barn
243
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,830
unless I'm in
a hypnotic state"!
244
00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,377
Well, for your information,
245
00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:06,248
not only was that last pass off
the mark,
246
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,883
but it's a miracle I was able to catch
247
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,669
any of your lame-o passes!
248
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,420
[all] Ooh.
249
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,710
You take that back!
250
00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:15,632
I can't take back the truth!
251
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,629
You wouldn't know the truth if
it bit you on the nose!
252
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:20,825
Fight!
253
00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,377
Yeah, fight him!
254
00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:24,918
You're not gonna take that,
are you?!
255
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,250
What? Fight?
256
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,003
We're not gonna fight.
257
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,213
Yeah, it's just a stupid
basketball game.
258
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:31,251
Chicken!
259
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,043
Yeah, chicken!
260
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:33,955
[clucking]
261
00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:36,713
I'm not chicken!
262
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,382
Neither am I.
263
00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:39,498
-Prove it!
-Prove it!
264
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,003
-Yeah, prove it!
-Yeah!
265
00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,503
You heard them-- prove it!
266
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:45,543
If you're not chicken, then step
over this line.
267
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:49,285
Oh, no, if you're not chicken,
then you step over this line.
268
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,785
[children chanting]
Fight! Fight! Fight!
269
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:52,205
[barks]
270
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,630
Fight! Fight! Fight!
271
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:57,539
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
272
00:11:57,625 --> 00:11:58,495
[gasps]
Teacher's coming!
273
00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,749
Children, children, what is
going on here?
274
00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:03,964
Oh, hi, Mrs. H.
275
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,331
Leonard and I were just
demonstrating to the class
276
00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,537
the ancient art of Japanese Kabuki.
277
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,495
Well, isn't that wonderful--
278
00:12:11,583 --> 00:12:15,133
you and my little Lenny-poo
using your free time so wisely.
279
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,498
Ha ha ha!
But I'm afraid recess is over.
280
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:19,633
Come on everyone!
Back to class!
281
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:20,539
[groaning]
282
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,080
[chanting]
After school.
283
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,958
After school.
284
00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:29,421
Oh, gee, um, after school is not
good for me.
285
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,380
I'm starting piano lessons.
286
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:32,498
Yeah, me either.
287
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:36,583
I'm bidding on a thing with a
motor on the, uh, Internet.
288
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:37,877
[chanting] To-morr-ow.
To-morr-ow.
289
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,325
Oh, darn it, tomorrow doesn't
really work for me either.
290
00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:44,917
Hey, either you two fight
tomorrow after school
291
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,630
or you're both big chickens.
292
00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:49,579
Well, we wouldn't want that,
would we?
293
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,327
Tomorrow it is, then.
294
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,327
Yes, sir, tomorrow it is.
295
00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:03,209
[snoring]
296
00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:06,831
[whimpers]
297
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:11,878
Aaah!
298
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,829
Mmm... mmm...
299
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,537
Hmm?
300
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:18,625
What the heck is that darn cat up to?
301
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,713
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
302
00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:25,632
Oh, Mr. Jolly?
Where are you?
303
00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:26,999
Aaaah!
304
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,083
Get ahold of yourself, man.
305
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:32,246
This is Mr. Jolly we're talking
about.
306
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,583
He's the same fat, lazy cat he's
always been.
307
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:36,627
You are way too cagey for that
kitty.
308
00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:38,579
Hi, there.
309
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,080
[Squeak]
310
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,543
Okay, ha ha, very good.
You got me.
311
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:43,575
We're even now,
312
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:46,167
so let's have everything go back
to the way it was.
313
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,420
I don't know what you're talking about.
314
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,580
I was just saying hello.
315
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,827
Now, cut that out!
You gotta get it over with!
316
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:54,537
I can't take the suspense.
317
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,915
Talk to the paw.
318
00:13:57,625 --> 00:14:01,455
Oh, you are so mature!
319
00:14:01,542 --> 00:14:02,712
[mockingly]
"Oh, you are so mature!"
320
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:07,329
All right, what's the matter?
Come on, talk to Pretty Boy.
321
00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:10,287
There was, um, uh, an incident
at school.
322
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:11,705
It was all his fault!
323
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,502
What kind of an incident?
324
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:17,383
We sort of have to fight each
other, and it was all his fault.
325
00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,538
Oh, my goodness, this is terrible!
326
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,995
How did this happen?
327
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,713
We got in a stupid argument.
328
00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:25,542
It was all my fault.
I'm sorry, Leonard.
329
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,495
No, it wasn't.
It was my fault.
330
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,253
No, it was mine.
That pass was perfect.
331
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:31,753
I knew it!
332
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,464
Anyway, we let ourselves get
talked into fighting each other
333
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,042
by a bloodthirsty mob.
334
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:39,625
I got a bag of birdseed riding
on the pooch.
335
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,249
Throw in a new catnip mousey,
and you're on!
336
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,633
No! What am I saying?
337
00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:46,629
I'm appalled you would even
suggest such a thing.
338
00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:48,629
Nothing good can come of this.
339
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:52,079
Spot and Leonard, you have to
find a way to not fight.
340
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,956
Mr. Jolly's right.
We can't fight each other.
341
00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:56,881
I know,
but what can we do?
342
00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:58,499
Here's
a suggestion--
343
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,463
put on dresses and start calling
yourselves Shirley and Denise.
344
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:03,422
I've never seen a bigger bunch
of wimps!
345
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,920
Maybe one of us could move to
another town.
346
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,580
Or we could be absent on
alternating days
347
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:09,957
-for the rest of the year.
-I like it!
348
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:13,251
That's all I can stand.
I need to get a dose of macho.
349
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,167
Oh, that's more like it!
350
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,380
The Universal Wrestling
Association,
351
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:24,577
where men are men and so are
women.
352
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:27,537
Oh, look, Akbar the Mangler
versus The Beauty.
353
00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:31,575
The Mangler thinks he can come
in here and take my title,
354
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,127
but he is so very,
very wrong!
355
00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:37,578
Because I'm a beautiful man, and
my beauty represents truth!
356
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,917
And the likes of Akbar the Mangler
357
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,920
will never be able to stand in
the radiant light
358
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,420
of my beautiful truth!
359
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,330
[clang]
360
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,668
Oh, yeah, there's your radiant
light of truth,
361
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,250
you long-haired freak.
362
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:53,543
You see? This is how real men
settle their differences.
363
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:56,625
Oh, please, professional
wrestling is so fake
364
00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,959
you couldn't sell it in
Times Square.
365
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,461
The Bolshoi Ballet doesn't
rehearse as much as those guys.
366
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,502
Hey, that gives me an idea!
367
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:07,003
We could fake a fight, just like
those guys!
368
00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:08,293
That's a great idea!
369
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,785
But not like those guys.
It's too dangerous.
370
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:13,625
Hundreds of kids are seriously
injured every year
371
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:16,209
trying to imitate professional wrestlers.
372
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:17,711
Yeah, I guess you're right.
373
00:16:17,792 --> 00:16:20,422
But that doesn't mean we can't
fake a fight
374
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,420
in the style of the ancient
martial art Shweng Lo.
375
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,250
Shweng Lo?
What's that?
376
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:28,883
-Shweng lo, sweet, cheery cat.
-[Swing low, Sweet chariot plays]
377
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:30,959
It's something I just made up.
378
00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:33,581
Hooray! Scott and Leonard aren't
gonna fight!
379
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:34,707
Ah ha ha ha!
380
00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:36,832
[both]
♪ We're not gonna fight ♪
381
00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,537
♪ We're not gonna fight ♪
382
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:41,245
I think I'm gonna be sick.
383
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,383
Ready, Leonard?
384
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,168
Here I come!
385
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,500
Ohh!
386
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,750
[zipper unzips]
387
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:11,673
We need more fake blood on your face.
388
00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:18,625
-Wait! Wait!
-Wait! Wait!
389
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:24,077
Well, Leonard, I think we're ready.
390
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:25,326
I hope so.
391
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:27,127
If anyone figures out we're faking,
392
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,458
we'll both have to move to
another town.
393
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:32,332
You guys are gonna do great.
I just know it.
394
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:33,707
So, uh, Mr. Jolly,
395
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:37,212
can I assume that everything's
back to normal between us?
396
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,251
That is to say, we're okay, you
and me, right?
397
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,333
Talk to the paw.
398
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,917
[chanting]
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
399
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:13,165
Fight! Fight!
400
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:18,170
Prepare to be destroyed,
Leonard, for unbeknownst to you,
401
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:22,420
I, Scott Leadready II, am a
ninth-degree master
402
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:26,290
of the ancient and deadly
martial art of--
403
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:27,205
[yowling]
404
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,919
Shwen-g-g lo!
405
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,460
[all] Shweng lo!
406
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:37,582
Then you, too, should prepare to
be destroyed,
407
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,667
for I, Leonard Helperman I,
408
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:44,540
am also a master of the ancient
and deadly art of Shweng lo,
409
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,035
level 9.1
410
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,035
[gasps]
Level 9.1!
411
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:57,245
Fight! Fight! Fight!
412
00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:58,923
Fight! Fight!
413
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,543
Aah!
414
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,997
Ooh!
415
00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:09,133
Come on!
Fight him!
416
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:11,668
The Shweng lo is strong within you,
417
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,540
but is it strong enough to
handle this?
418
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:16,705
Pbht!
419
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,670
Oh, you're good.
420
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,250
You're very good.
421
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,923
And so it begins.
422
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:32,288
[all gasp]
423
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:35,500
And now prepare to meet your doom!
424
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:37,043
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
425
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:38,535
Must... get up!
426
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,035
Can't move!
427
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:42,075
Legs... won't work!
428
00:19:46,542 --> 00:19:47,382
[crack]
429
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,537
Ow!
430
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,285
That's not in the script.
431
00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:52,995
Oh, Charlie horse!
432
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,923
Oh, my god!
Leonard!
433
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,880
[chanting]
Finish him off!
434
00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:57,919
Finish him off!
435
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,500
Quiet!
Can't you see he's hurt?
436
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,213
Don't worry, Leonard, it'll go
away in a minute.
437
00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:05,171
You're probably just dehydrated
from all the rehearsing.
438
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,170
Rehearsing?
439
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,880
Hey, what's going on?
440
00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:09,459
This fight's a fake!
441
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,502
[chanting]
Fake! Fake! Fake!
442
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,923
All right!
Yes, we were faking!
443
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,540
The whole thing was a charade,
a ruse, a sham!
444
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,705
I knew they were too chicken
to fight.
445
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,332
What a bunch of losers.
446
00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:22,287
[jeering]
447
00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:26,793
You guys are so not cool!
448
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,075
Oh, no.
449
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,206
Wait!
450
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:33,211
Losers? Chickens?
451
00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:35,421
Fakers? Not cool?
452
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,830
Talk about the pot calling the
kettle a cooking utensil.
453
00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:41,247
Let me tell you people something.
454
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,633
Yes, we're fakers.
455
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:46,539
We faked this whole fight, and
rather brilliantly, I must say.
456
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,915
Leonard,
your performance was magical.
457
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,830
Gee, really?
I, uh--
458
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,537
And, yes, we were cowards, but
that's not why we were cowards.
459
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:57,785
We were cowards because we were
afraid not to fight.
460
00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,495
We were more afraid of being
called chicken
461
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,583
than we were of hurting
ourselves and each other,
462
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,627
and for that reason, yes,
we are losers, too,
463
00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:10,289
but I swear an oath that from
this day forward--
464
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:11,995
say it with me, people!
465
00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:17,543
I will not fight, and I will not
be afraid to not fight.
466
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:22,375
[all] I will not fight, and I
will not be afraid to not fight.
467
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:24,578
Louder! Everyone!
468
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:29,207
I will not fight, and I will not
be afraid to not fight!
469
00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:30,581
That's it!
470
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:32,667
Because fighting is stupid!
471
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:36,330
[all] That's it!
Because fighting is stupid!
472
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:37,377
[chanting]
Fighting is stupid!
473
00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:40,002
Hello?
474
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:42,963
Remember me, the kid with the
Charlie horse?
475
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:47,580
[snoring]
476
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:52,793
I've had enough of this.
I'm sorry I mocked you.
477
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:55,745
There's nothing I can do to take
it back, so instead,
478
00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:57,714
I'm gonna lend my manly
expertise
479
00:21:57,792 --> 00:21:59,832
and help you reclaim your catness.
What do ya say?
480
00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:01,207
Hmm?
481
00:22:01,291 --> 00:22:02,881
No, thank you.
482
00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:05,499
No, thank you?
What, are you giving up?
483
00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:07,673
Are you a wimp and a quitter?
484
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:10,630
The longest journey begins with
a single step!
485
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:13,329
Okay, that's a pretty good
first step.
34557
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