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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:14,210
The word is
"antidisestablishmentarianism."
30
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:20,291
A-L-M-A-Z-Z-R-I-I-T...
31
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:23,247
Z-M.
32
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:27,583
The word is still
"antidisestablishmentarianism."
33
00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:36,041
A-N-T-I-D-I-S-E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-
M-E-N-T-A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M.
34
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,253
Correct!
35
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:39,173
[cheering]
36
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,669
Congratulations,
Scott Leadready II.
37
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:45,670
You are hereby proclaimed
champion speller
38
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:48,330
of Fala D. Roosevelt
Elementary School
39
00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:52,247
and our representative at this
year's county spelling bee!
40
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:55,543
I am?
Oh, joy of joys!
41
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:58,665
I'm king of the universe!
42
00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:01,670
I was robbed by the man!
43
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,826
What do you see there, my boy?
44
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,497
Uh, a dead spider being carted away
45
00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:08,753
by a bunch of ants?
46
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:09,674
[blows]
Now what do you see?
47
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,633
I see an empty trophy case, sir.
48
00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:15,789
That's right, son,
and the reason it's empty
49
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:18,455
is because that darned West East
Westland Elementary
50
00:02:18,542 --> 00:02:19,922
always beats us.
51
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,040
And my rival principal there,
Nash Brickler,
52
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:26,535
never misses an opportunity to
rub it in my face.
53
00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:28,625
[imitating Brickler] Sorry we
took first place again, Crosby,
54
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:33,129
while you were tied for last--
with the school for losers!
55
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:36,168
But this time, we're gonna show
Nash Brickler
56
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:37,540
that we can bring home
57
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,625
that glorious second place
trophy at last.
58
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,629
Why not first place?
59
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:44,289
Eric Mark Krabitz is why--
60
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:47,375
the best speller in the history
of this school district,
61
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,078
maybe any school district--
he's never been beat.
62
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:54,286
Well, sir, blow a little more
dust off the old trophy shelf,
63
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:57,745
because Eric Mark Krabitz has
just met his match!
64
00:02:57,834 --> 00:03:01,674
Can it be true?
Do you really mean...
65
00:03:06,542 --> 00:03:08,632
Hello?
West East Westland Elementary.
66
00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:11,539
Home of the Spelling Spartans.
Nash Brickler speaking.
67
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,625
Hey, Brickler, spell this--
"runner-up"!
68
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:16,669
As in second best!
As in lo-o-o-ser!
69
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:17,580
[hangs up]
70
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,998
Hello? Hello?
Darn kids!
71
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:23,881
[snoring]
72
00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:27,213
Oh, Pretty Boy.
73
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:29,211
Hmm?
74
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:31,535
Guess what time it is?
75
00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:33,665
Time to give the person who woke
me up such a zets
76
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,460
it'll give his whole family a
headache?!
77
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,632
Ta-da!
78
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:38,919
You disturbed my beauty rest
79
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,880
to show me a glockenspiel on wheels?!
80
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,379
No. [dings]
81
00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:46,498
I disturbed your beauty rest
because you said it would be
82
00:03:46,583 --> 00:03:49,463
a hot day in December before
you'd give me singing lessons.
83
00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:50,712
Remember?
84
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:51,922
Yeah. So what?
85
00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:57,503
Huh?
86
00:03:57,583 --> 00:04:00,253
Well, I figure if we start today,
87
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:03,083
I could have "The Tiny
Flugelhorn Girl"
88
00:04:03,166 --> 00:04:05,246
down pat in time for Christmas.
89
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,543
That'll teach me to make stupid
promises
90
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,825
without consulting
"The Farmer's Almanac"...
91
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,917
But I am a bird of my word,
so let's get started.
92
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:13,830
[dinging]
93
00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:16,247
[inhales, clears throat]
94
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,416
[caterwauling]
95
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,037
Apparently that's
[clears throat] not my key.
96
00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:31,375
Pretty Boy, Mr. Jolly...
I have news.
97
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:34,748
Before you stands the next
county spelling champion!
98
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:36,544
That'll win you a lot of
popularity contests.
99
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:39,325
Well, that's all very nice for
you, spot,
100
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:40,877
but I have news of my own.
101
00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:43,539
Pretty Boy has agreed to teach
me how to sing.
102
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,075
Silence!
103
00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,626
From now on, you will only use
your instrument
104
00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:49,789
when I tell you
and how I tell you!
105
00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:51,455
Yes, maestro.
106
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,632
I said, "silence"!
107
00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:55,539
-[dings]
-[humming]
108
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:56,875
[caterwauling]
109
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:58,962
-[dings]
-[humming]
110
00:04:59,041 --> 00:04:59,961
[caterwauling]
111
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:04,499
Look what I got--
112
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:07,133
the word list from last year's
county spelling bee.
113
00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:08,498
Lenny, my naive friend,
114
00:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,793
by the time you get to the
county bee level,
115
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,915
you're not studying the list
anymore.
116
00:05:13,041 --> 00:05:15,331
So you know every word
on this list?
117
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,627
Duh, yeah.
118
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:19,129
"Hors d'oeuvres"?
119
00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:20,668
Two words-- silent "h,"
120
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,830
apostrophe between the "d" and
the "o."
121
00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:23,787
[caterwauling continues]
122
00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:26,289
Um, "misspell."
123
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:29,575
Leonard, your attempt at irony
is cute-- really, it is--
124
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:32,497
but they don't let you go to the
county spelling bee
125
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,833
if you're gonna M-I-S-S-P-E-L-L
"misspell."
126
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,037
So you're just gonna hang out
and do nothing?
127
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:38,375
No, Leonard!
128
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,958
I'm going to do what every great
champion does--
129
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,041
take full measure of my opponent,
130
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,915
study his every move so that he
cannot take a step
131
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,670
without me taking it first,
132
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,630
and then, when I know him better
than he knows himself,
133
00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,039
attack and win the bee!
134
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:52,955
[caterwauling]
135
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:56,133
Now would you two knock it off
with the glockenspiel?!
136
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,668
[glockenspiel dings]
137
00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:13,582
It sure was a lucky coincidence
138
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:15,667
that Principal Strickler
decided to give us
139
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,420
Fala D. Roosevelt's birthday
off from school this year.
140
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:21,580
Otherwise, we wouldn't be able
to spy on this Krabitz kid.
141
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:22,997
Okay, here's the plan--
142
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,003
first, we study the enemy's moves
143
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,543
in his academic environment.
144
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:29,625
I still think you should study
the list from last year.
145
00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:31,329
I laugh at last year's list.
146
00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:34,127
The key to victory lies not in
some old list,
147
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,998
but in the mind of one's enemy.
148
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,633
Watch and learn.
149
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:47,705
Ah, there he is-- the hated rival.
150
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:52,042
Eric Mark Krabitz,
you are mine.
151
00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:54,415
Okay, now you're creeping me out.
152
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,829
[all snickering]
153
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:09,327
Look at that focus!
The kid's amazing!
154
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,997
Look at them laughing.
155
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,745
The kid's a dork.
156
00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:21,083
Right field!
Look up, Krabitz!
157
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:22,326
What's wrong with you?!
158
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,377
Come on, Krabitz, look up.
159
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:25,788
Fascinating.
160
00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:29,539
-Aw, Krabitz!
-Aw, man!
161
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:54,459
Behold, Leonard...
162
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,792
The lion in his den.
163
00:07:57,875 --> 00:07:59,665
I'm pretty sure that's the kitchen.
164
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,380
That's not what I--
oh, never mind!
165
00:08:02,458 --> 00:08:04,708
Follow me.
166
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,580
Darn it!
Where'd he go?
167
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,537
I don't know,
but he sure seems lonely.
168
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,665
Yeah--
lonely like a shark!
169
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,000
Aah!
170
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,633
Who are you two, and why have
you been following me all day?
171
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,039
[nervously] Oh, uh, hi, there, Eric Mark,
172
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,170
or do you prefer
just Eric--
173
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,580
or-- or just Mark--
or maybe Mr. Krabitz?
174
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:32,077
I'd prefer that you just tell me
what's going on here.
175
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:34,536
Yes, of course you would.
It's quite simple, really.
176
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:36,575
What's going on is, uh,
177
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:39,577
that my friend and I are huge
fans of yours
178
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:42,667
and passionate devotees of
"The Bee,"
179
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,460
and, well, we wanted to--
180
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,832
that is, we were hoping that we
could, you know,
181
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,457
get to know you a little bit--
you know, hang out.
182
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:51,832
Really?
You want to hang out with me?
183
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:54,127
Do we?
Oh, we sure do!
184
00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:55,708
Don't we?
185
00:08:55,792 --> 00:08:57,712
Oh, absolutely.
186
00:08:57,792 --> 00:09:00,672
Well, um, I guess that would be okay.
187
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,290
So, what are your names?
188
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,415
My name's--
189
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:07,790
his name's Ian Wazselewski, and
I'm Yung-Hi Mandelbaum.
190
00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:09,705
So come on in.
I'll show you around.
191
00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:14,792
Welcome to my world.
What do you think?
192
00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:16,125
It's incredible.
193
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:18,878
No, "incredible" doesn't do it
justice.
194
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,079
It's-- it's really...
Good.
195
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,076
Oh, why won't the words come?!
196
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:26,036
What I'm trying to say is
it's-- it's...
197
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,875
Incogitable? Insupposable?
Unfathomable?
198
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,169
Yes, yes, and yes!
199
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:34,500
How about you, Ian?
Do you like it?
200
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:37,633
Eric Mark asked if you like his room, Ian.
201
00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:41,669
Oh, yeah, right.
Uh, it's, uh, neat.
202
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:42,920
Say, I have an idea.
203
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,420
How about a rousing game of
Aramaic anagrams?
204
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:52,628
So, Eric Mark, if I may be so bold...
205
00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:55,249
What's your secret?
I mean, how do you always win?
206
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,833
The first thing I do is study
the list from previous bees.
207
00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:00,537
I mean, you'd have to be an
idiot not to do that, right?
208
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,915
Oh-ho, of course.
209
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,830
But what sets me apart is my
knowledge of
210
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,417
secondary languages like Gaelic,
Swahili-- even Navajo--
211
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,880
and the subtle nuances
212
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:09,959
of letter-slash-word
correlations that provides--
213
00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:12,501
in addition, of course, to being
fluent in Latin and Greek.
214
00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:14,633
And here I thought it would be
something complicated.
215
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,379
So, what do you do for fun?
216
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,668
What do you mean?
Ian.
217
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:21,210
I mean fun-- you know, playing,
watching TV, riding bikes.
218
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,711
That kind of stuff.
219
00:10:22,792 --> 00:10:25,502
Ian, you're being rude!
220
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,753
No, it's okay.
221
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,044
The answer is simple--
fun is a luxury I can't afford.
222
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,785
To be a true champion of the bee
requires total dedication.
223
00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:36,285
So you never play?
224
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:37,325
Never.
225
00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:40,577
Eric Mark Krabitz, you are a shining star,
226
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:44,077
a supernova in a universe of flashlights!
227
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,582
Thanks for coming over,
Yung-Hi and Ian.
228
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,997
I hope you can make it to the
county championship
229
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,963
to watch me destroy the
competition.
230
00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:54,631
Yes, well,
I'll try to make it.
231
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:57,959
Although, you never know--
I might be sick that day.
232
00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:01,541
Did you hear that, Leonard?
He's going to destroy me.
233
00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,125
Oh, I'm sorry, Yung-hi,
were you talking to me?
234
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:08,291
[Native-American music plays]
235
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:12,713
The kid speaks Navajo,
for crying out loud.
236
00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:15,582
The only people who speak Navajo
are Navajos...
237
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,167
And Eric Mark Krabitz.
238
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,630
He isn't human, I tell ya--
of course, neither am I--
239
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:21,539
but that's not the point!
240
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:24,245
Oh, why did I waste all those
years eating and breathing
241
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,923
and talking when I should have
been studying spelling?!
242
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,830
Because you're normal, and
normal kids-- and dogs--
243
00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:32,627
are supposed to have fun every
now and then,
244
00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:35,669
not spend every minute of every
day studying spelling.
245
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:39,670
You're right, I am normal--
too normal-- but not anymore!
246
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:43,500
From now on I'm going to be
abnormal like Krabitz!
247
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,833
Now, nobody talk!
I must think!
248
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:46,747
[squeaking]
249
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:48,539
[gasps]
250
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:49,674
[dings]
251
00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:53,375
All right, that's it!
Enough with the glockenspiel!
252
00:11:53,417 --> 00:11:55,577
From now on, this glockenspiel
ceases to exist!
253
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:57,247
I am taking this glockenspiel
254
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,583
and dragging it into
the garbage can
255
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,287
on the hard drive of my mind.
256
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:04,077
You are hereby erased from my
memory forever!
257
00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:08,631
The pooch has finally flipped.
258
00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:10,789
I heard that.
259
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,627
Okay, we'll start with this,
260
00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:17,499
beginning with "a" and working
our way to "z."
261
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,043
Boy, it's a good thing we
followed Krabitz around all day.
262
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:21,825
Otherwise you would have never come up
263
00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:23,457
with that "A to Z" thing.
264
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:27,462
Ah, sarcasm-- the last refuge
of a meager mind.
265
00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,462
Blah, blah, blah.
Let's get started.
266
00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:31,462
The first word is "aardvark."
267
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,632
Aardvark. A-A-R-D-V...
268
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:35,499
[clock ticking]
269
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:39,500
Abscissa. Hmm.
Word form?
270
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:40,503
Noun.
271
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,753
-Origin?
-Latin.
272
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:45,714
What do you mean you're not
gonna help me anymore?!
273
00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:48,672
I told you-- this is stupid.
We're still on the As!
274
00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:50,580
You're already a great speller,
275
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:53,667
and I'm not gonna lock myself in
a room day after day,
276
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,920
wasting my life, so you can try
to win a stupid spelling bee!
277
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,540
Try to win?
278
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:02,165
I'm not going to try to win,
I'm going to win!
279
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,330
I will win!
I must win!
280
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,627
[classical music plays]
281
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,003
Ha ha ha!
282
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,575
[snoring]
283
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,497
Look at him-- sleeping up there
all snuggly-wuggly.
284
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:35,213
You know who sleeps at night?
Losers, that's who!
285
00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:37,291
Well, we'll see how well you sleep
286
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:38,915
when I'm champion of the world,
287
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,960
and you're just a big old
sleepyheaded loser, Krabitz!
288
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,961
No, wait-- you're not Krabitz.
You're that other one.
289
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:45,881
[snoring]
290
00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:50,077
Mr. Chowszelewski.
291
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:53,456
The word is "frascalhasa-apso."
292
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,582
Frascalhasa-apso.
293
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:58,167
That is so cinchy.
294
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:01,210
Okay, frascalhasa-apso.
295
00:14:01,291 --> 00:14:07,331
F-R-A-S-C-A-L-H-A-S-A-hyphen-
296
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,422
A-P-S-O!
297
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,830
That is correct!
298
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:11,747
[cheering and barking]
299
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:15,077
Mr. Helperschnauzer.
300
00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:16,746
The word is...
301
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:19,584
On second thought, fetch!
302
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:20,497
[cheering and barking]
303
00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:27,415
Eric Mutt Krabitz, your word is
"crustadinglycacapoo."
304
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,330
[barking]
305
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:32,131
[whimpers]
306
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,328
Absolutely correct,
Mr. Krabitz!
307
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,627
Now your turn,
Mr. Leadready--
308
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,579
if that's even
your real name.
309
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,957
The word is "cat."
310
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,501
"Cat"?!
311
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,793
I thought we were just doing
bizarre dog words!
312
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,915
I mean, "cat" wasn't even on the list!
313
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,790
Did you study your Navajo?
314
00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:51,995
Navajo?!
315
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,923
Oh, no!
Say it ain't so!
316
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,130
[chanting]
Loser! Loser! Loser...
317
00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:59,455
I'm not a loser.
I'm not a loser.
318
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:04,462
I'm not a loser...Not a loser.
A loser. Loser. Loser.
319
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:06,792
Hey, wake up, boy.
You're having a bad dream.
320
00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:09,875
Huh?! What?! A dream?!
Oh, thank goodness.
321
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,959
Oh, Leonard, it was horrible.
322
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,961
Everyone knew how to spell except me.
323
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:17,041
You were a dog, and-- and not a
very attractive one at that.
324
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,785
Holy consonant clusters,
look at the time!
325
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,745
We've got to get to the bee!
326
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:23,754
Now, remember, son,
327
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:26,214
you're not just spelling for
yourself anymore.
328
00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:28,381
You're spelling for the hopes
and dreams
329
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:30,748
of every man, woman, and child
in East Westland.
330
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:34,254
You're spelling for all the kids
who don't understand
331
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,463
why sometimes "o-u" sounds like
"ow" as in "cloud"
332
00:15:37,542 --> 00:15:40,462
and other times sounds like "oh"
as in "dough,"
333
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:43,792
and then other times it sounds
like "uh" as in "tough,"
334
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:46,495
and don't even get me started on "g-h"!
335
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:49,503
I get the idea, sir.
That was very inspiring.
336
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:52,293
Now go out there and win us a trophy
337
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,625
for our sad little trophy case.
338
00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:56,539
Well, well, Crosby!
339
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,575
Back for another try, eh?
340
00:15:58,667 --> 00:15:59,497
[bitterly]
Hello, Nash.
341
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,380
Listen, you may have a hard time
342
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:04,208
holding onto that last-place title.
343
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:06,381
I hear the competition is pretty
stiff--
344
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:07,878
at the bottom this year!
345
00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,629
[laughs]
346
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:16,713
Well, well, well, if it isn't my
old friend Yung-Hi Mandelbaum.
347
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,922
What happened?
Did you change your name?
348
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,580
Eric Mark.
I, uh...
349
00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:22,627
Can it, Leadready-- I knew what
you wanted all along.
350
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:24,539
Do you think you're the first person
351
00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:25,785
to pretend to be my friend
352
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,455
just so they could steal my
spelling secrets?
353
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:29,632
Well, actually... yeah.
354
00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,629
Okay, so maybe you are.
So what?!
355
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:34,629
Did you really think I'd share
my precious secrets
356
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:36,749
with a couple of yutzes off the street?
357
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:40,634
I gave you nothing!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
358
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,379
From this moment on, there is
only myself and the word.
359
00:16:44,458 --> 00:16:46,708
[cheering]
360
00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,462
Ladies and gentlemen,
361
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:55,132
welcome to this year's county
spelling bee championship.
362
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:58,628
Please welcome your spelling finalists.
363
00:16:58,709 --> 00:16:59,539
[cheers and applause]
364
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:04,713
All righty, then.
Let the bee begin!
365
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:11,828
No! No! No! No!
366
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:13,627
It's a note!
367
00:17:13,709 --> 00:17:16,039
Just one lousy meshugeneh note!
368
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:18,455
How hard is it to hum
a single note?!
369
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:19,502
-[dings]
-Can't you hear that?!
370
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:21,670
-[dings]
-I'm playing this...
371
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,633
-[dongs]
-And you're singing this!
372
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:24,923
[meows]
373
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:27,383
[dings]
374
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:28,539
[meows]
Heh heh.
375
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,500
Of course!
That's it!
376
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,423
You're a one-note kitty,
a b-flat cat.
377
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,580
I'm a genius!
Now we can get to work!
378
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:39,747
You'll have your "Tiny
Flugelhorn Girl" by Christmas.
379
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:50,205
The word is "perspicacious."
380
00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:56,041
Perspicacious.
P-E-R-S-P-I-C-A-C-I-O-U-S.
381
00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:57,825
Perspicacious.
382
00:17:57,917 --> 00:17:58,827
Correct.
383
00:17:58,917 --> 00:17:59,747
[cheering]
384
00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:04,129
[no audio]
385
00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:21,285
Philately.
P-H-I-L-A-T-E-L-Y.
386
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,495
Philately.
387
00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:24,423
That is correct!
388
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,880
I can't wait till they get to
the hard words.
389
00:18:26,959 --> 00:18:29,959
Neither can I, cause there's 26
letters in the alphabet,
390
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,041
and I know 'em all.
391
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:35,035
Mr. Leadready,
your word is...
392
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:36,915
"Glockenspiel."
393
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,210
[nervously]
Homina-homina-homina.
394
00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:41,455
Come again.
395
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:43,422
Glockenspiel.
396
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,460
Glockenspiel.
Okay, let's see...
397
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,172
"I before e, except after c"
unless it's in German.
398
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,460
Or is it Lithuanian?
Oh, that can't be right!
399
00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:53,632
Do Lithuanians even have "i" in
their alphabet?
400
00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:56,419
Come on, Leadready, think!
401
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,330
[dings]
402
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:58,884
[buzzes]
403
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,038
[cheering]
404
00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:07,290
Way to go! Second place!
That is so cool!
405
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:11,375
Congratulations, son.
You've made us all very proud.
406
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,538
For the first time in history,
407
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:16,535
we have a trophy to put in our case.
408
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:19,375
And Leonard and I would love to
take you out
409
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,498
for a special second-place
celebratory pizza at Mario's.
410
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:25,333
Well, Leonard, I hope you've
learned something from all this.
411
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:26,537
Me?
412
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:29,415
For though we may strive for
perfection, that, my friend,
413
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,420
is a goal as elusive as
a dream...
414
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,420
-But--
-And it is surely the fool
415
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,250
who holds himself to an
unattainable standard.
416
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:39,543
If you'll all excuse me, I have
some congratulating to do.
417
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:40,995
Eric Mark, wait!
418
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,503
What do you want?
419
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:46,213
I-I just wanted to say
congratulations, so...
420
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:47,671
Congratulations.
421
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,040
And also, I-- I wanted to apologize
422
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:52,575
for pretending to be somebody else.
423
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:53,997
Normally I'm very much
424
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:57,503
a "what you see is what you get"
kind of dog-- uh, kid.
425
00:19:57,583 --> 00:20:00,543
It's kind of flattering that you
went to all that trouble--
426
00:20:00,625 --> 00:20:03,205
you know, in a way-over-the-top,
obsessive sort of way.
427
00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:06,461
Yeah...hey, my friend and I are
going to Mario's for pizza.
428
00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:08,042
You wanna come?
429
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,075
Are you saying you want to hang
out with me--
430
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,456
like friends or something,
no strings attached--
431
00:20:12,542 --> 00:20:14,882
and you're not just trying to
steal my spelling secrets?
432
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:17,879
That's exactly what I'm saying,
Mr. Paranoid, so how about it?
433
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:20,959
Well, I was going to go home and
start preparing for the states,
434
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:22,461
but, ah, what the heck!
435
00:20:22,542 --> 00:20:23,962
Whoo-hoo!
436
00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:25,921
You big goofball.
437
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,830
Ooh, here they come!
438
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,877
Okay, now remember what we worked on.
439
00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:34,329
From the diaphragm.
Round tones. Joyous sound.
440
00:20:34,417 --> 00:20:35,957
[nervously] Round tones.
Joyous sounds. Got it.
441
00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:38,375
Ooh, I'm so nervous!
442
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:42,578
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Hoo hoo!
443
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:43,497
[howls]
444
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:47,245
Oh, yes, I am da man!
445
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,633
Scott Leadready II rules!
446
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,829
Don't tell me you actually won
that spelling bee?!
447
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,497
No, I lost the spelling bee,
448
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,633
but I challenged Krabitz to a
pizza-eating contest
449
00:20:56,709 --> 00:20:58,579
and destroyed him!
450
00:20:58,667 --> 00:21:00,577
The poor kid never had a chance.
451
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:03,327
Oh, yeah! I'm the king, baby!
Ha ha!
452
00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:06,457
He's almost as gracious in
victory as he is in defeat.
453
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:09,082
Uh, w-we have a surprise
of our own.
454
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,536
Now, understand, this is just a
work in progress,
455
00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:14,495
but, still, I think you're gonna
be pleasantly surprised.
456
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,423
[glockenspiel plays]
457
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,460
♪ In the tiny town of Flugelhorn ♪
458
00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,502
♪ One shining Christmas morn ♪
459
00:21:22,583 --> 00:21:25,463
♪ A child received a magic gift ♪
460
00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:28,712
♪ A tiny golden flugelhorn ♪
461
00:21:28,792 --> 00:21:31,832
♪ She'd never seen a flugelhorn ♪
462
00:21:31,917 --> 00:21:34,787
♪ Its sound she did not know ♪
463
00:21:34,875 --> 00:21:38,575
♪ And yet she raised it to her lips ♪
464
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:41,537
♪ And just began to blow ♪
465
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,915
♪ With your horn so bright and bugley ♪
466
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,130
♪ Play your song of Christmas cheer ♪
467
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:51,668
♪ Make the sound so sweet and flugely ♪
468
00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:54,630
♪ For all Flugelites to he-e-e-ar ♪
469
00:21:54,709 --> 00:21:55,539
[flugelhorn plays]
470
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:02,247
Well, what do you think?
471
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,383
That was lovely. Really.
472
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,538
You're both to be
congratulated...
473
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,205
Except for one tiny, little detail--
474
00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:13,751
I hate
G-L-O-C-K-E-N-S-P-I-E-L-S!
34902
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