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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt
living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear
the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ He says he's just
gonna be a boy ♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a
regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is
treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's
ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet
is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,670
[Beethoven's "Fifth
Symphony" plays]
30
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,750
What's your rush?
It's just another school day.
31
00:01:16,834 --> 00:01:18,884
Just another school day?!
32
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:23,129
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny,
you might as well say
33
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,248
that Aristotle
was just another Greek guy
34
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:28,883
or say that Abe Lincoln
was just another president
35
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,919
or say that Newton's Theory Of
Gravitational Attraction
36
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,920
was just another good idea.
37
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,710
Aw, forget it.
38
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:37,962
I'm not even awake yet.
39
00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:39,381
But you soon will be.
40
00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:41,578
A hearty breakfast
is the best way
41
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,497
to jump-start
a scholar's mind.
42
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:45,793
Let's see what Mrs. H.
Has cooked up.
43
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,708
Something's not
quite right here,
44
00:01:54,792 --> 00:01:56,752
but I can't put my finger on it.
45
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,924
Does it have anything
to do with the fact
46
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,920
that there's no juice
of any kind--
47
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,460
fresh, frozen, or otherwise?
48
00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:03,712
Uh, maybe.
49
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:06,422
Or that there's no cereal
in your cereal bowl
50
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,540
or food in my dish?
51
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:08,825
Getting warmer.
52
00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:12,997
[British accent] By jove,
I think I've got it!
53
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:16,537
The toaster is cold,
the brewed coffee untouched,
54
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:18,915
and the door is locked
from the inside.
55
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,630
That can mean
only one thing.
56
00:02:20,709 --> 00:02:22,749
That mom is not
in this room!
57
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,174
I was going for the more
complex deduction
58
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,040
that Mrs. H.
Is still in bed,
59
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:30,165
but we can work with your more
elementary conclusion.
60
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,080
[gasps]
61
00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:33,245
[gasps]
62
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:38,035
Mom, are you all right?
63
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,625
Don't worry. Don't worry.
64
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:42,629
I'm getting up so I can do
all the mom things
65
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:44,629
I do for you
every morning--
66
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:46,919
pour your milk,
make the toast,
67
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,210
fold your napkin
into a little hat.
68
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:50,461
Ha ha! Ah-choo!
69
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:53,166
Okay, okay, I give.
70
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,540
I have a bad case
of the snufflies.
71
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:58,455
I can't go to school today,
but don't worry.
72
00:02:58,542 --> 00:03:01,082
Spotty will stay by my side
and make me all better.
73
00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:04,921
He's my trusty medicine pet.
74
00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:07,126
You mean you're
not gonna teach today?!
75
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:10,793
I-I mean, you mean
you're not gonna teach today?
76
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,415
Oh, I'm sorry,
Lenny petty,
77
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,790
[coughs] But all I can offer
my students today
78
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:19,245
would be a nasty, wasty
sinus full of germs.
79
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,423
I'm gonna call
for a substitute.
80
00:03:23,458 --> 00:03:24,288
[door closes]
81
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:25,705
[gasps]
A substitute!
82
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:28,002
Yeah!
Isn't that great?!
83
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,673
A stranger sitting
in Mrs. Helperman's desk?
84
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,420
Writing on Mrs. Helperman's
blackboard?
85
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,420
Pawing her lesson plan?
86
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,583
I don't like the sound of this.
87
00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:39,667
Lighten up spot,
having a sub is fun.
88
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:40,580
You'll see.
[Mrs. Helperman] Ah-choo!
89
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,880
I'm afraid that's
one alleged good time
90
00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:45,379
I will have to miss.
91
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,328
As Mrs. H's duly appointed
medicine pet,
92
00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:50,417
My duty is to stay
by her side
93
00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:52,375
and nurse her
back to health.
94
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:53,628
And miss a day of school?
95
00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:56,539
Won't that mess with your
perfect attendance award?
96
00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,205
[gasps]
How could I forget?!
97
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:02,001
The perfect attendance award--
98
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:04,583
the holy grail
of punctuality.
99
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:08,747
Winning that award can have
lifelong ramifications.
100
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:11,294
All righty-roosky
ah-choosky.
101
00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:14,375
The substitute teacher's
been called.
102
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:17,378
Now I'll take
a little nappy poo.
103
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,247
This is dreadful!
I can't miss school.
104
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:26,043
But I'm the only one who can
possibly cure Mrs. H.--
105
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:28,325
her one and only
medicine pet.
106
00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:29,577
Yeah, tough call.
107
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,247
Well, I'm off to school.
108
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,883
I'll either see you
or I won't.
109
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,919
You're not the only healer
around here.
110
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,170
I'm a fully qualified
medicine pet myself.
111
00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:44,290
Ha ha. With all due respect
to the feline species, Jolly,
112
00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:46,875
you couldn't possibly
take my place.
113
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:50,039
I'll just have to stay here,
forsake the award,
114
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,745
endeavor somehow to recover
115
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,634
from the indelible stain
on my record,
116
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:56,669
and try to cobble together
a productive life.
117
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,000
[man] What a shame.
118
00:04:58,083 --> 00:05:00,003
If he'd just found a way
119
00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:02,503
to get that
perfect attendance award...
120
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:05,923
Okay, you do it.
121
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:15,172
Just make sure
you keep her warm.
122
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:16,380
Of course.
123
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,248
Lick her hands
to make her feel better.
124
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,963
That goes
without saying.
125
00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:22,921
Drape yourself over her feet
if her toes get cold.
126
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,170
You don't need to tell me all this.
127
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,630
I've only done this
about a zillion times,
128
00:05:27,709 --> 00:05:29,709
give or take,
not to exaggerate.
129
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,542
Very well.
130
00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:35,325
I hereby pass the mantle of
medicine pet to you.
131
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:38,537
This offer good
for today only.
132
00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:39,455
[whistling]
133
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:44,923
Hey! You did figure out a way
to come to school today.
134
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,420
That's right, Leonard.
135
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:49,460
Like Mrs. H.,
I simply found a substitute.
136
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:52,172
My, you certainly have a spring
in your step today.
137
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,540
That's because today I won't be
the teacher's son.
138
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,825
I can finally be myself
139
00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:57,997
and completely blend
into the background.
140
00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:01,133
Maybe I won't be called on to
answer any questions at all.
141
00:06:01,208 --> 00:06:04,328
Ah.
Ambition, thy name is Leonard.
142
00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:05,877
Hey, wait for me!
143
00:06:05,959 --> 00:06:08,919
Look what my snake
tried to eat!
144
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,460
Maybe later.
We're in a hurry.
145
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:14,042
We got a substitute teacher today.
146
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,035
A substitute?
Oh, yes!
147
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,165
We got a substitute!
We got a substitute!
148
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,500
Can you say pranks?
Come on, say it with me.
149
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,713
Pranks?
150
00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:27,382
What do pranks
have to do with it?
151
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:30,708
It's the best part of having
a substitute.
152
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:33,292
Since we'll never see them again,
153
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:37,415
we spend the day pulling pranks
instead of learning.
154
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:40,540
Isn't that awesome?
I got to tell everyone.
155
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:43,915
Hey, everybody,
we're having a substitute!!
156
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,750
And look what my snake
tried to eat!
157
00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:47,714
Pranks, eh?
158
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:51,252
Hmm.
I am mightily intrigued.
159
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:52,833
But now that I've gotten over
160
00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,577
my instinctive canine fear
of strangers,
161
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:57,077
I'm even more intrigued to meet
this new teacher
162
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,456
and bathe in the fount
of her knowledge.
163
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:01,382
She's just a substitute.
164
00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:04,827
Nonsense. I'm sure only
the most qualified educators
165
00:07:04,917 --> 00:07:08,537
would be accepted at
Fala D. Roosevelt Elementary.
166
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:13,960
Good morning, fourth graders.
167
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,001
My name is Miss Deweygood,
168
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:19,293
and this is a special day
for me because--
169
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:23,665
Well, this is my very first day
as a substitute teacher.
170
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,920
A first-timer?
171
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,210
Oh, thank you!
172
00:07:28,291 --> 00:07:31,171
[sniffing, growling]
173
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,500
Scott,
you're growling...
174
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:37,383
Out loud.
175
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:43,582
[growling]
176
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:48,325
Ha ha! That's just
his stomach growling.
177
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:49,877
It's almost lunchtime.
178
00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:51,419
What are you doing?
179
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,540
I can't help it.
180
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,495
I want to be respectful,
181
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:57,423
but my D-O-G nature makes it
very difficult
182
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,330
to watch a stranger invade
my owner's territory.
183
00:08:00,417 --> 00:08:03,417
You know how I am when the phone
repairman comes around.
184
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,040
Cut it out or you're gonna
blow your cover.
185
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:08,415
You're right.
Spot may be a dog,
186
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,330
but Scott Leadready II
is a model student.
187
00:08:11,417 --> 00:08:14,377
Okay, class, let's start
by turning to chapter four
188
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:15,998
in your science books.
189
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:20,415
Ugh!
Good morning, Miss Deweygood!
190
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,130
Let me introduce myself.
191
00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,958
I'm Scott Leadready II,
192
00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:26,211
and although I look
forward to bathing
193
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:28,581
in the fount
of your knowledge today,
194
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:33,127
may I point out that's not how
Mrs. Helperman starts the day.
195
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,418
She greets us warmly
and entertains us
196
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,880
with her humorous,
rhyming speech patterns.
197
00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:40,209
Oh.
Well, all right.
198
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:44,291
A-All righty,
flighty... blighty students.
199
00:08:44,375 --> 00:08:47,165
Let's see
what Mrs. Helperman has
200
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:50,080
in her handy, dandy
lesson plan-dy for today.
201
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:51,326
Ha ha ha!
202
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,247
[laughter]
203
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:56,923
Oh, no. It's like she's
trying to be Mrs. H.,
204
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,500
and I can't tell
if it's satire or homage.
205
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,503
Yeah, let's prank her!
206
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:04,423
[whispering]
207
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:10,673
Okay, hearty, uh,
smarty scholars,
208
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,500
time for vocabulary charades!
209
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:15,832
[Beethoven's "Fifth
Symphony" plays]
210
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,327
Aah!
211
00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,247
[laughter]
212
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,790
See, they're just pranks,
totally harmless.
213
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:27,455
It's just what fourth graders do
to substitutes.
214
00:09:27,542 --> 00:09:29,332
Oh, my,
I see the attraction.
215
00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:30,417
That was fun and funny.
[laughs]
216
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,670
And thanks to the
musical tribute
217
00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:36,380
to German composer
Ludwig Van Beethoven,
218
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:37,578
vaguely educational.
219
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:41,377
However, this "pranking" also
shows an unscholarly disrespect
220
00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:43,918
for the sacred
institution of teacherdom.
221
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Fellow students,
222
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:50,583
the groves of academe are no
place for peevish pranks.
223
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:53,917
This trained educator demands
our respect.
224
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,920
[all] Boo!
225
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,790
Thank you for your kind words,
uh, Todd,
226
00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:02,415
but please return
to your seat.
227
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,210
Todd?
Do I look like a Todd?
228
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,540
Ohh!
229
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:13,075
I don't feel so good.
230
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:14,456
Oh, dear.
231
00:10:14,542 --> 00:10:16,462
I don't like the sound of that.
232
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:19,832
Now would be the perfect time
for her to have a medicine pet.
233
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:22,287
News flash--
you are the medicine pet!
234
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,955
Oh! Blast this undersized
kitty brain of mine.
235
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,421
I keep forgetting.
What to do, what to do.
236
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,130
Spot said to lick
her hand, remember?
237
00:10:30,208 --> 00:10:31,458
She likes that.
238
00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:32,792
Ooh, right.
239
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:39,713
Ohh!
240
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:41,712
Rough sandpaper tongue.
241
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:44,882
Oh, no! She doesn't like my tongue!
242
00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:48,459
Oh, dear, oh, me,
I'm out of my element.
243
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:51,382
I'm out of my league.
I'm-- I'm...
244
00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:52,918
Out of your gourd,
245
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,630
but that's
a whole nother story.
246
00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,080
Who has the answer to--
247
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,286
I do! I do!
248
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:04,625
I'm sorry, Todd, but you have
to wait to be called on.
249
00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:07,499
Who's figured out the extra
bonus-point puzzler?
250
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:11,422
How about you, Leonard?
251
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,420
Uh, 76?
252
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,330
Very good, Leonard!
That's correct.
253
00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:17,037
-It is?
-I knew that.
254
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:20,165
All right, class,
who can answer question 5?
255
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,920
Now we're really gonna see a prank.
256
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,540
Excuse me, Miss Deweygood.
257
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,955
May I borrow a pencil?
258
00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:32,253
Why, of course. Anything for
a student who wants to learn.
259
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:34,543
Aah! Aah! Aah!
260
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:35,455
[laughter]
261
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,417
Aah! Aah!
262
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,920
[laughs]
That was awesome!
263
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,710
No. that was the fifth-grade
biology project.
264
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:47,582
Well, maybe we should use this
265
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,917
as our math
puzzler wuzzler.
266
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,330
Ha ha ha!
267
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:55,037
If there were 38 frogs in my
drawer and there are 2 left,
268
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:56,325
how many jumped out?
269
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:57,247
[laughter]
270
00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:01,035
Why, 36, class. 36.
271
00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,785
Is that counting the one
on your shoulder?
272
00:12:03,875 --> 00:12:04,705
[croaks]
273
00:12:05,917 --> 00:12:06,747
Aah!
274
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:10,674
[laughter, Spot howling]
275
00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:15,247
Ah-choo! Ah-choo!
276
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:16,880
Now what?!
277
00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:18,419
Drape yourself
across her legs.
278
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,920
I've seen Spot do it
a thousand times. She loves that.
279
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,710
Are you sure?
It doesn't sound very medicinal.
280
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:25,082
Medicinal, schmedicinal.
281
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,746
Every time Spot does it,
she falls asleep.
282
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,000
Well... okay.
283
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,503
Ah-choo!
284
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:35,883
Ow!
285
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:40,127
Of course Spot keeps his claws
manicured--
286
00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:41,828
you know, for gym class.
287
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,210
Excellent, Leonard!
288
00:12:46,291 --> 00:12:49,881
Good for you for taking it upon
yourself to draw a map of Africa.
289
00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:52,211
That's worth
5 extra-credit points.
290
00:12:52,291 --> 00:12:53,631
Thanks, Miss Deweygood.
291
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:56,537
Who knows the--
292
00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:57,825
I do! I do!
293
00:12:57,917 --> 00:13:00,457
The largest city in Morocco
is Casablanca,
294
00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:03,962
immortalized in the classic
1942 film of the same name.
295
00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:06,381
Humphrey Bogart played Rick, the--
296
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:07,288
Mr. Leadbelly!
297
00:13:07,375 --> 00:13:11,915
I will not have this class
disrupted by showoff-y, braggy
waggies.
298
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,460
Now, for the last time,
please sit down.
299
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,828
I was going to ask
300
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:19,787
who knows the name of
Zambia's neighbor to the east.
301
00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:20,875
How about you, Leonard?
302
00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:23,499
That would be Malawi, whose
dominant geographic feature
303
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:24,753
is the Great Rift Valley.
304
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,290
Its capital is Lilongwe.
305
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,825
Ah! Excellent!
306
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:32,461
And how do you happen
to know that, pray tell.
307
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:36,422
Maybe I've been hanging around you
so long this stuff sunk in by
osmosis.
308
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,380
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I suppose the word "osmosis"
309
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,578
happened to sink in
by osmosis as well.
310
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:42,537
Maybe.
311
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:45,745
What happened to Leonard "blend
into the background" Helperman?
312
00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:46,754
I don't know.
313
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:49,794
Without mom here I'm
not afraid to answer questions.
314
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:51,825
Very impressive,
young Helperman,
315
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:54,457
but you're no Scott Leadready!
316
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,752
Now, here is a very
diligent student.
317
00:13:57,834 --> 00:13:58,884
What?!
318
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:02,329
Does she imply that I,
Scott Leadready II,
319
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,327
am not a diligent student?
320
00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:07,327
How can she say
such a thing?!
321
00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:11,497
She cuts to the very quick
of my I-ness, my me-ness,
322
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,213
my very identity.
323
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,501
But, Miss Deweygood,
I knew the answer
324
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:18,543
and a thousand other facts
about Malawi besides.
325
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,875
Don't be a sore loser doser, Todd.
326
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:24,459
There's more to being a good
student than spouting facts.
327
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:27,422
A good student listens
and lets others contribute.
328
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:33,168
Psst! Ian!
What's the next prank?
329
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:34,500
I'll take this one.
330
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,333
Scott's gonna pull a prank.
331
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,457
Oh, rad. This is gonna be the best!
332
00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:40,002
I can't wait!
333
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:41,423
You're gonna pull a prank?
334
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,290
She leaves me no choice.
335
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:46,995
This pretender to
Mrs. Helperman's desk chair
336
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,963
wouldn't know a true scholar
if he bit her on the ankle.
337
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:53,791
If she refuses to acknowledge me
for what I am,
338
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:56,125
I will make my mark elsehow.
339
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:57,288
Oh, Ian.
340
00:14:57,375 --> 00:15:00,035
May I borrow a little
something of yours?
341
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,955
[laughs]
342
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:11,423
[panting]
343
00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,325
Would you stop
with the panting?
344
00:15:14,417 --> 00:15:16,877
You sound like my Uncle Saul
in the public birdbaths.
345
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,419
You want to wake
the poor woman?!
346
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,460
Shh-shh-shh!
I'm trying to soothe her.
347
00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:22,382
[coughing]
348
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,833
Oh, nothing's working,
349
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:28,827
and I'm doing everything
just like Spot would.
350
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,327
Maybe that's your problem.
351
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,923
Who wants to be like that
textbook-toting mutt?
352
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,420
Of course! That's it.
353
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,290
That's why Mrs. Helperman's
not getting well.
354
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,375
I can't be anyone but myself.
355
00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:42,578
I have to trust my own instincts.
356
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:43,997
After all, as any
cat will tell you,
357
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:47,633
animals of the feline persuasion
are natural-born healers.
358
00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:48,879
Get out of here!
359
00:15:48,959 --> 00:15:50,329
No, really.
360
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,957
A silly dog will run off
at the first bounce of a ball.
361
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:57,171
But a cat is consistent, focused,
362
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,670
and hence, much more qualified
363
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,460
to assist in the healing process.
364
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:05,883
Oh, that's my good medicine kitty.
365
00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:07,329
It's working.
366
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:09,497
You see, the ancient
Egyptians discovered
367
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:12,333
that cats' glands secrete
special healing oils.
368
00:16:12,417 --> 00:16:14,667
That's why we rub our chins
against our owners
369
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,080
to keep them healthy
370
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:19,286
and why the Egyptians worshipped
the cat goddess Bastet.
371
00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:22,245
So what you're saying is
you're a "Bastet" case? Ha!
372
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:23,173
[purring]
373
00:16:23,542 --> 00:16:24,542
Move along.
374
00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:27,125
I can't have your negativity
interfering
375
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:29,248
with my positive
purr-therapy.
376
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:30,753
Fine!
377
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:33,714
I don't want to be around when
you purr too much and explode.
378
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,422
Oh, that's never happened.
379
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:38,330
But just to be
on the safe side.
380
00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:39,247
[purring softly]
381
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,673
Oh, I've got one!
382
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,380
Solar energy.
383
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,788
Excellent, Leonard!
384
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:47,375
Now, who can name another type?
385
00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:49,958
Miss Deweygood,
would you take a look
386
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:52,381
at a few ideas
I've written down?
387
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:54,078
Well, all righty, Todd.
Let's see.
388
00:16:56,542 --> 00:16:57,382
[chuckles]
389
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,880
Oh! Oh! Aah!
390
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:03,539
Oh, Miss Deweygood,
391
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,535
Mrs. Helperman keeps some
glue remover in the cupboard.
392
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:10,673
Aah! Aah!
What is this?!
393
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:13,330
And where's the other half of it?
394
00:17:13,417 --> 00:17:15,747
[laughs]
Nice work, Scotty.
395
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,464
That was just a warm-up.
396
00:17:17,542 --> 00:17:21,082
Now it's time
for my prank de résistance.
397
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,787
[siren wails]
398
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,083
This is a little trick I call
"the big chocolate wave."
399
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:36,496
Wow! This is the best prank ever.
400
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,423
Just wait till the fifth graders
hear about this.
401
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:43,790
And a little touch of my own
just for fun.
402
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,665
She's coming!
403
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:49,210
Drat! We haven't set the trigger
for the big chocolate wave.
404
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:53,288
You're so helpful,
Leonard.
405
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:56,495
These library books will give us
the information we need to--
406
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:57,833
Oh, what now?
407
00:17:57,917 --> 00:17:59,707
[class giggles]
408
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:06,248
Mr. Leadbelly, may I see you
in the hall now?
409
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:07,963
Oh, this is perfect.
410
00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:10,791
I'll keep her occupied
in the hallway
411
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:12,705
while you set the trigger.
412
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,292
Leonard, please keep an eye
on the class.
413
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:16,825
Yes, Miss Deweygood.
414
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,250
[all mocking]
Yes, Miss Deweygood.
415
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,883
Gosh, Leonard, you're such
a goody-goody.
416
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,379
Yeah, you're acting just like
Scott.
417
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:31,288
What do you mean? You love it
when Scott acts this way.
418
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:33,375
Yeah,
but it works on him.
419
00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:35,748
On you it's just sort of...
icky.
420
00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:38,294
You mean you like me better
when I'm just plain old
421
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:40,285
Leonard "blend into the
background" Helperman?
422
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:41,575
[all] Yes!
423
00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:44,417
I'm cool with that.
424
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,630
Why are you treating me like this?
425
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,379
I'm just trying to do
the best job I can.
426
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:52,998
Don't you have any respect for
learning and education?
427
00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:56,293
Me? No respect for learning?
Why, of course I do.
428
00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:59,625
It's just that you are trying
to be Mrs. Helperman.
429
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:01,249
I know Mrs. Helperman.
430
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,503
I've lived
with Mrs. Helperman
431
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:05,583
every day
of my scholastic life,
432
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:09,457
and try as you might,
you're no Mrs. Helperman.
433
00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:12,212
Oh, I know, but she has such
a wonderful reputation.
434
00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:13,671
I just wanted to be
like her.
435
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:17,040
Never mind. I suppose a little
boy like you wouldn't understand
436
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,325
about pretending to be
something you're not.
437
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:22,667
Au contraire.
I understand completely.
438
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:27,420
The important thing is to be
comfortable with who you are,
439
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,170
be it teacher or a boy
440
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:32,960
or, say, just for argument's
sake, a-a dog boy.
441
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:36,131
It was the immortal bard
who put it best--
442
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:39,328
"This above all,
to thine own self be true."
443
00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:41,377
I think
I've underestimated you.
444
00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:44,078
You're quite the scholar,
if somewhat eccentric.
445
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,416
And the bard's right.
446
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,330
I can only succeed
as a teacher
447
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,207
if I'm completely true
to myself.
448
00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:52,211
And the same goes for me
as a student.
449
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,831
Miss Deweygood,
I apologize.
450
00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:57,877
I've acted like,
well, like a dog
451
00:19:57,959 --> 00:20:00,129
rather than the model student
I strive to be.
452
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:02,328
Oh apology accepted.
453
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,543
Now, why don't we go back in?
454
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,495
After you, Miss Deweygood.
455
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:07,583
Thank you, Todd.
456
00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:10,247
We'll start by enjoying
our chocolate-milk break.
457
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,923
Chocolate milk?
Oh, no!
458
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,334
[laughter]
459
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,460
[sighs] I suppose
I deserved that.
460
00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:30,922
Ah! Quelle idée!
C'est si drôle.
461
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:32,961
Wow! You speak French?
462
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,461
Yes. French was my major
in college.
463
00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:37,042
Would you teach us some?
464
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:40,375
What? You mean you really do
want to learn something today?
465
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:41,458
[all] Yes!
466
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:44,792
Great!
We'll start with bonjour.
467
00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,165
[all] Bonjour!
468
00:20:47,041 --> 00:20:48,461
I know some French.
469
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:50,422
Je veux
un biscuit de chien.
470
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,210
[laughs]
Oh, that is so funny.
471
00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:55,211
You just asked
for a dog biscuit.
472
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:57,001
[laughter]
473
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,750
Sacre bleu!
474
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:03,420
Mom, I'm home.
475
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:05,922
Well, if it isn't my own little
Rhodes Scholar.
476
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,040
[smooches]
477
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:08,245
Feeling better?
478
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,133
I'm all righty-roosky doosky.
479
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:12,578
[barking, panting]
480
00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:15,207
Why, there you are, Spot.
Where have you been?
481
00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:17,331
He was outside
and followed me in.
482
00:21:17,417 --> 00:21:19,417
Spotty-Wotty,
I missed you.
483
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,790
But Mr. Jolly took wonderful
care of me.
484
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:24,705
Now I have
two medicine pets.
485
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:26,752
And how was
your substitute teacher?
486
00:21:26,834 --> 00:21:28,634
Miss Deweygood was terrific,
487
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:29,999
but she wasn't you.
488
00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:33,383
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, come on.
489
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,788
I'll make a pot of chicken
noodle-doodle soup.
490
00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:36,955
All right!
491
00:21:38,625 --> 00:21:40,285
Ah-choo!
492
00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:41,955
Aah! No!
493
00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:44,751
I think I have a case of
the snufflies.
494
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:47,165
A-A-Ah-choo!
495
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:49,920
Hmm, sounds like you could use
a medicine pet.
496
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,290
You would be
my medicine pet?
497
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:55,665
Hey, there's no substitute
for the real thing.
498
00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,579
Spot, you're doing it all wrong.
499
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:04,207
You got to throw in a nice loud
purr every now and again.
500
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:06,291
Like this--
[purring]
501
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,578
Aah!
502
00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:09,707
Ow!
503
00:22:09,792 --> 00:22:11,752
[snoring]
36431
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