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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt
living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear
the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ It's so weird ♪
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy
♪
15
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a
regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is
treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's
ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet
is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!
29
00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:11,923
[thunder crashes]
30
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:16,497
[Spot] Madness descends,
enveloping, consuming,
31
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:19,673
like a velvet shroud
of black terror.
32
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,540
We are lost,
33
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,875
cast adrift this Hallows' Eve,
34
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:28,209
on a lightless sea of candy...
costumes...
35
00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:30,961
And madness!
36
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:31,881
[cackles]
37
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,957
Hey, listen to what
this Halloween web site
38
00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:37,081
says about vampires.
39
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,376
"Vampires can take on
virtually any form,
40
00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:41,418
and once invited
into your home,
41
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,380
will never leave till
they suck out all your blood."
42
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:45,958
Aah!
43
00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:48,961
Oh, please. That's a bunch
of supernatural hooey.
44
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:51,461
This whole Halloween thing
is a scam,
45
00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,462
foisted on a gullible public
46
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:55,502
by the central American
sugar barons.
47
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,963
It's all right here.
48
00:01:58,041 --> 00:02:00,331
Do you think I was right
going with chromain,
49
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:03,167
the cyborg prince from
the Black Hole Adventure Series?
50
00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,670
Or should I have stuck with
the Bo Peep's sheep costume?
51
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,080
What difference does it make?
52
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:08,666
If it doesn't stop raining,
53
00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,080
we won't even
get to go trick-or-treating.
54
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:13,576
Leonard, a little faith,
please.
55
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,537
I checked
"The Farmers' Almanac,"
56
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,245
the U.S. Weather Bureau,
the local weather report,
57
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:21,043
and your mother's bunion,
and I'm telling you,
58
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,785
all signs point
to clear skies
59
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:24,245
and smooth sailing
tomorrow night.
60
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:25,423
I hope you're right.
61
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,380
It'd be awful to miss
our first year
62
00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:29,498
of trick-or-treating
all by ourselves.
63
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,253
Leonard,
who are you talking to?
64
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:33,543
Huh? No one.
Just myself.
65
00:02:33,625 --> 00:02:35,955
Leonard Helperman, I hope
this isn't an unapproved
66
00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:37,751
do-it-yourself
Halloween costume.
67
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:40,254
I told you, if you want
to go trick-or-treating
68
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,463
with your friends,
69
00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:44,332
you have to wear
this safety smart 'n' scary one.
70
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:45,787
But-- but, Mom--
71
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,825
[sighs] Yes, ma'am.
72
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,787
All righty, then.
[laughs]
73
00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:51,785
I'll just get rid of this thing,
and you go to bed.
74
00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:53,125
Yes, ma'am.
75
00:02:58,375 --> 00:03:00,575
Well, I guess
it's Bo Peep's sheep after all.
76
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,167
Probably for the best.
77
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,420
I have such a flair
for quadrupeds.
78
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:05,330
[animal screeches]
79
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,420
[both] Aah!
80
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,460
Ow, ow, ow. Claws.
81
00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:11,172
W-w-w-w-what was that?
82
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:13,540
It sounded like...
83
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:16,575
The tormented cry
of a disembodied spirit,
84
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:19,207
trapped between this life
and the next.
85
00:03:19,291 --> 00:03:21,041
Or maybe a cat.
86
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:22,415
That's another possibility.
87
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,920
I think it's coming
from the kitchen. Come on.
88
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,171
[animal screeches]
89
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,080
I think it's out there.
90
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,330
No! Don't open it.
91
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,787
It could be
the disembodied spirit.
92
00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:46,497
See? It's a kitty,
just like I said.
93
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:52,213
Don't invite it in.
94
00:03:52,291 --> 00:03:53,291
[whispers]
It might be a vampire
95
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:55,881
just pretending
to be a cat.
96
00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:58,999
You really ought to lay off
the supernatural web sites.
97
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:02,133
Come on inside, fella.
It's okay.
98
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:05,128
Great. Just what this house
needs-- more cats.
99
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:07,538
So, what's your name?
100
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,205
Where'd you come from?
Who's your daddy?
101
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,671
Come on, fess up.
102
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,705
It's okay.
Leonard's cool.
103
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:15,962
You can talk
in front of him.
104
00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:19,504
Um, well,
they call me Spooky,
105
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:23,253
and I've been lost so long,
I don't even remember my home.
106
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:24,633
Aw, poor kitty.
107
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,709
Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.
108
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:30,172
Oh, thank you all so much.
109
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,790
I don't know how
I can ever repay you.
110
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:40,167
Ow, ow, ow. Claws.
111
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:46,464
[purring]
112
00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:52,536
Leonard never should have
invited him in.
113
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,125
What if he is a vampire
114
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:55,998
and he doesn't leave
until he's sucked all my blood
115
00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:57,833
and made me
his vampire slave?
116
00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,417
I don't want
to be a slave.
117
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,670
And I'm telling you,
you're meshugeneh.
118
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,210
That cat is an ordinary,
119
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,251
everyday
pain-in-the-neck cat,
120
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:08,543
very much like a certain other
pain-in-the-neck cat I know.
121
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,170
Oh, really? Is he?
122
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:14,170
Or has he already turned you
into his vampire slave,
123
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,710
and you just don't
know it, hmm?
124
00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:17,792
Huh? Fair question.
125
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,535
Now you've really flipped.
126
00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:23,035
Could somebody please
close the curtains, please?
127
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,576
I'm very sensitive
to the sunlight.
128
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,960
All righty-dighty.
Are you boys all set?
129
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,581
We sure are, Mrs. H.
130
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,577
Got your Jack-o'-lantern
flashlights?
131
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,747
Yes, Mom.
132
00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:39,377
Super-duper. [laughs]
133
00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:40,628
Then I think you two
134
00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:42,459
are ready to have
a fantabulous Halloween.
135
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,082
This is gonna be great.
136
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:46,286
My first trick-or-treat...
137
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,331
Uh, with the big kids.
138
00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:50,667
Uh, there's just one more
tiny little thing.
139
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,460
-[both] Uh-oh.
-I organized a neighborhood candy
-free,
140
00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,172
no-trick Halloween zone.
141
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,540
All the parents
on our block have agreed
142
00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,575
to only hand out
healthy trick-or-treat treats,
143
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,207
such as dried fruits,
canned goods,
144
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:05,501
and, of course, the occasional
shredded wheat biscuit.
145
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:08,423
But, Mom,
no candy on Halloween?
146
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,960
That isn't even American.
147
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:13,290
Oh, and I suppose rotten teeth
and upset tummies are.
148
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:14,415
I think not.
149
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,880
I can't tell you
what to do, Scott,
150
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,749
but it's high time
my little lollipop
151
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:19,584
kicked the demon
sugar habit.
152
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,287
-But--
-No buts.
153
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:24,575
I want you to promise me
you'll stay on our block
154
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:26,127
and won't cross the street.
155
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:28,043
I promise.
156
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:30,035
That's my good boy.
[laughs]
157
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:33,625
Now, get out there and have
a super-fabuloso time.
158
00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:35,749
Oh, and be home by 7:00.
159
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:38,674
Make sure your shoelaces are tied.
160
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,754
[doorbell rings]
161
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:45,173
[children] Trick or treat.
162
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,460
Oh, my goodness,
163
00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:50,422
what a scary bunch
of ghosts and goblins...
164
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,170
And petting-zoo animals.
165
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,080
[bleats]
166
00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:54,708
All righty, then.
167
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:57,172
Who wants a nice, tasty banana?
168
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,420
Leonard,
I can't take any more
169
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,420
of this lame excuse
for a Halloween.
170
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:05,960
I can't take it,
I tell you.
171
00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:08,631
Well, I'm sorry, but you're
going to have to take it.
172
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,249
We don't have
any other choice.
173
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,173
[laughs]
174
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,790
"Don't have any other choice"--
that's so cute.
175
00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:17,825
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny,
we always have choices.
176
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,423
Should I ignore
social injustice,
177
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,920
or should I choose
to get involved?
178
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,380
Should I sit in front of the TV
day after day,
179
00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:28,458
or should I choose to live
each day to the fullest?
180
00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:30,882
Should I walk around
like a half-dead zombie
181
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,329
collecting produce
for Halloween,
182
00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:36,747
or should I choose to enjoy
the revelry and candy
183
00:07:36,834 --> 00:07:40,634
as millions of kids have done
since the dawn of man?
184
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,459
Oh, no.
You heard what my mom said.
185
00:07:42,542 --> 00:07:44,212
We're absolutely
forbidden from--
186
00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:45,421
Look.
187
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,130
-♪ Everybody say party here ♪
-♪ Right here ♪
188
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,628
-♪ Everybody say party hearty ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪
189
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:51,629
-♪ Everybody say party there ♪
-♪ Over here ♪
190
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,960
♪ Everybody say party, party ♪
191
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,331
-♪ Come on, come on ♪
-♪ Come on, come on ♪
192
00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:57,417
-♪ Party, party ♪
-♪ Party, party ♪
193
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:58,960
♪ Come on, come on ♪
194
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:00,041
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
195
00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:04,035
♪ Everybody say party hearty ♪
196
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:07,625
But we can't.
I promised my mom.
197
00:08:07,709 --> 00:08:08,959
Aw, come on.
198
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,961
What's one little promise...
199
00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:13,251
Compared to this?
200
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,827
-Ah.
-No, I don't want to.
201
00:08:18,917 --> 00:08:21,167
Oh, Leonard,
you say you don't want to go,
202
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,710
but you are so transparent.
203
00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,582
Don't you know by now that
I can see right through you?
204
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,497
Please, can we go?
Please, please, please?
205
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:29,633
Well, I--
206
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,379
attaboy.
207
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:36,498
-This is wrong-- so very, very
wrong. -♪ Party, party ♪
208
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:50,458
Oh, Leonard, say hallelujah.
209
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:53,922
We have reached
the promised land.
210
00:08:57,709 --> 00:08:58,539
[sobbing]
211
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:02,253
I got to admit,
this does seem like more fun.
212
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,463
Seems like more fun?
213
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:08,582
Lenny, open your eyes
and smell the candy corn.
214
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,667
We're in Halloween heaven.
215
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,500
Hey, guys,
which are the good houses?
216
00:09:13,583 --> 00:09:15,133
Dude, they're all good.
217
00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:17,828
Yeah, dude, this is
the best Halloween ever.
218
00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:19,417
Choco-crunchies,
219
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:24,460
Caramel Twisties,
Gooey Tasties.
220
00:09:24,542 --> 00:09:28,002
Some houses are even
giving out Beating Heart Taffy.
221
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:30,463
What's beating heart Taffy...
dude?
222
00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,332
"What's Beating Heart Taffy?"
223
00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:34,747
Dude, where are you from?
224
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:35,924
Across the street.
225
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,540
[all] Oh.
226
00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:38,575
Beating Heart Taffy
227
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,457
is only the chewiest,
tastiest, taffiest taffy
228
00:09:41,542 --> 00:09:44,042
you've ever tasted, dude.
229
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,665
[Leonard] Ew, that's gross.
230
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,920
To paraphrase the great American
humorist Will Rogers,
231
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,000
I never met a piece of candy
I didn't like...
232
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,503
Until now.
233
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:56,083
Here.
234
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,036
[beating]
235
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,920
Ooh.
236
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,920
Wow.
237
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,830
Disgusting on the outside,
238
00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:08,207
delicious on the inside.
239
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:11,751
It's a whole new world
on this side of the street.
240
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:15,464
Come on, Lenny.
Let's get to trick-or-treating.
241
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,670
♪ It's about the candy ♪
242
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,790
♪ It's about the treats ♪
243
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,955
♪ Dressing up like ghosts
And ghouls and sheep ♪
244
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,541
♪ It's surely dandy ♪
245
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,375
♪ But, brother,
When push comes to shove ♪
246
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,627
♪ And shove comes to pull,
Just fill me up ♪
247
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,959
♪ Until I'm full ♪
248
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:36,961
♪ Of those sweets ♪
249
00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:39,331
♪ Those sumptuous sweets ♪
250
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,827
♪ No food can compete ♪
251
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,327
♪ With a treacly treat ♪
252
00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:43,997
♪ Yummy gummy, gooey gooey ♪
253
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:49,423
♪ You just can't beat
Those Halloween sweets ♪
254
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,460
♪ All you ghouls and goblins ♪
255
00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:54,042
♪ Every witch's hag ♪
256
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:57,205
♪ Gobble up those goodies
In your goody bag ♪
257
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,041
♪ If there's a problem ♪
258
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,875
♪ Because the one that you pick
Is stuck to a stick ♪
259
00:11:01,959 --> 00:11:05,289
♪ Just eat that tricky treat
With a lovin' lick ♪
260
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,495
♪ I'm talking about sweets ♪
261
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,633
♪ Those sumptuous sweets ♪
262
00:11:09,709 --> 00:11:11,539
♪ No food can compete ♪
263
00:11:11,625 --> 00:11:12,915
♪ With a treacly treat ♪
264
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,630
♪ Yummy gummy, gooey gooey ♪
265
00:11:14,709 --> 00:11:17,959
♪ You just can't beat
Those Halloween sweets ♪
266
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:20,501
♪ Halloween treats ♪
267
00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:22,463
♪ Halloween treats ♪
268
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:25,792
Got to love 'em.
269
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,920
Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.
270
00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:39,213
Hide your candy.
271
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:41,541
Hey, guys.
How'd you make out?
272
00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:44,415
Are you kidding?
It was awful.
273
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,330
If I see
one more box of raisins,
274
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:47,917
I'm gonna scream.
275
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
It's like
the whole neighborhood
276
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:52,173
is one big
vegetarian restaurant.
277
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,380
Yeah.
278
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:56,538
One house is even giving out
egg-white omelets.
279
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:00,415
Yeah, this Halloween
was a total bust.
280
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,960
Well, we've still got Christmas
to look forward to.
281
00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:05,421
Yikes, look at the time.
I've got to get home.
282
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,080
Me too. See ya.
283
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,076
Yeah. See ya.
284
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:09,076
So long.
285
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:11,076
Bye.
286
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:11,996
[purring]
287
00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:16,665
According to the "Welcome
To Transylvania" web site,
288
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,460
if Spooky is a vampire,
289
00:12:18,542 --> 00:12:21,212
he'll be repelled
by this garlic necklace.
290
00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:22,791
Well, if he isn't, I am.
291
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,075
Between the garlic
and your fish breath,
292
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:26,826
you smell
like day-old scampi.
293
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:27,827
Mmm.
294
00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:29,877
What is
that delightful aroma?
295
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,459
Aah!
296
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,792
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I startle you?
297
00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:35,825
Startle?
Us?
298
00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:36,827
Not at all.
299
00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:37,827
Don't be silly.
300
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:39,377
What ever gave you
that idea?
301
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,248
Is that a garland of garlic
around your neck?
302
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:45,133
Yes, as a matter of fact,
it is.
303
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:48,578
I hope you don't find it
disturbing or repulsive.
304
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,787
Do you?
305
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:53,075
Why, no.
Quite the contrary.
306
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:54,456
Oh.
307
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:55,922
That is a relief.
308
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,460
Isn't that a relief,
Pretty Boy?
309
00:12:58,542 --> 00:13:00,172
I, for one, am relieved.
310
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:01,080
[sniffs]
311
00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:04,001
Mmm, mm-mmm-mmm.
312
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:07,503
In fact, you smell
good enough to eat.
313
00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,581
Ha ha. Stupid thing.
Ha ha ha ha.
314
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,577
Don't even know
why I wear it. Ha ha.
315
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,207
Speaking of eating,
316
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:18,171
I was wondering if you might
like to join me later
317
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:20,500
for a midnight bite.
318
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,383
Oh, uh... gee.
319
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:25,418
Splendid, then.
It's a date.
320
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:29,293
Oh. Goody.
321
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:32,325
Lucky for us, mom is still
out on Halloween patrol.
322
00:13:32,417 --> 00:13:34,457
That'll give us time
to hide the booty.
323
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,332
Loot. Spoils.
324
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:38,537
Plunderage. Swag?
325
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:39,535
The candy.
326
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:40,915
Oh.
327
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,040
Listen, I was thinking...
328
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:44,415
Oh,
that's a dangerous sign.
329
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,540
Maybe if we just confess
right away
330
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,325
and throw ourselves
on my mom's mercy,
331
00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:50,207
things won't go
so bad for us.
332
00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:52,041
That's one idea.
Here's another--
333
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,325
we don't tell ma anything,
334
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:55,377
thus avoiding getting
into trouble altogether.
335
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,288
That could work, too.
336
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:59,455
I just wish I didn't feel
so guilty about this.
337
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:02,082
Here, try one of these.
338
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,536
It'll have you feeling better
in no time.
339
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,535
[beating]
340
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:12,165
[muffled] Holy moley,
is this stuff good!
341
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,580
Easy for you to say.
Now help me hide the candy.
342
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,037
Okay.
343
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:17,535
Leonard, doodlebug,
are you home?
344
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,575
Quick, put everything
in the closet.
345
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:20,627
Good idea.
346
00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:22,499
And stop talking.
347
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:23,793
All right.
348
00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:25,785
Oh, there you are.
349
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,535
Why didn't you answer me?
350
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:28,915
Oh, hello, mother.
351
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,250
I'm sorry.
352
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,713
I guess I was so engrossed
in this American history book,
353
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:34,132
I just didn't hear you.
354
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:37,668
You're reading American history
on your own
355
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:40,330
without me
giving you an assignment?
356
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:41,455
Uh-huh.
357
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:43,252
Oh, my goodness.
358
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,133
I never thought
this day would come.
359
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,038
[laughs]
360
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:48,463
How was
your trick-or-treating?
361
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:49,752
Oh, it was great.
362
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,464
In fact, the fruits and
vegetables were so delicious,
363
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:54,542
I ate them all
before I got home.
364
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:55,455
[gasps]
365
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:57,955
Well, now, somebody pinch me.
366
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,670
Leonard,
why is your tongue blue?
367
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,580
[gasps]
368
00:15:02,709 --> 00:15:05,499
Must be all that, uh,
delicious eggplant I ate.
369
00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:07,463
Be still, my heart.
370
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,212
Mom, are you crying?
371
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:10,581
Oh, don't be silly.
372
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:13,077
Just got a little something
in my eye.
373
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:15,286
You go back
to your American history.
374
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:18,535
I love you very, very much.
375
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:21,035
Good night.
376
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:25,628
Leonard, that was, perhaps,
377
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:27,039
the finest performance
378
00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:29,875
I've e'er had
the privilege to witness.
379
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:31,379
Bravo.
380
00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:33,668
I'm the worst person
on the planet.
381
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:36,290
Not only did I disobey
and deceive my mom
382
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,625
by crossing the street
and trick-or-treating,
383
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:41,079
but then I made it worse
by double lying about it
384
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:42,536
and even made her proud of me
385
00:15:42,625 --> 00:15:44,125
for doing something
I lied about,
386
00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:46,208
which I didn't even do
because I was doing
387
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:48,291
something else
that I wasn't supposed to.
388
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,253
[Pretty Boy]
But you saw for yourself.
389
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,213
The garlic didn't
bother him at all.
390
00:15:54,291 --> 00:15:56,291
Doesn't that prove
he's not a vampire?
391
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:57,455
All right, follow me.
392
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,582
I'm going to have to
prove once and for all
393
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,957
that Spooky is not
one of the "living dead."
394
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:03,501
I thought they broke up.
395
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:05,753
That's the Grateful--
aw, never mind.
396
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,167
Okay, listen up.
397
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,210
Everyone knows that vampires
don't have reflections,
398
00:16:13,291 --> 00:16:15,631
so all we have to do
is hold this up to spooky,
399
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:18,539
see his reflection,
ipso facto, he's not a vampire.
400
00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:19,995
Then you can
quit driving me nuts.
401
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:26,583
[yawns]
402
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,630
[purring]
403
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,961
See? No reflection,
just like I--
404
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,381
Oy vey.
405
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,708
Good evening.
406
00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:48,712
Is it time to eat already?
407
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:49,962
Aah!
408
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,078
Mmm.
409
00:16:58,166 --> 00:16:59,246
Mmm.
410
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,463
[muffled]
This taffy is delicious!
411
00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:03,538
After all that,
412
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,745
I don't even get to keep
my Beating Heart Taffy.
413
00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:09,634
Spot's a dog,
and dogs can't eat chocolate,
414
00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:12,039
so I've got to trade
all my taffy
415
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,825
for Spot's stupid chocolate.
416
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:14,747
[stomach growls]
417
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,423
How can I ever look her
in the eye again?
418
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:20,707
I can't. That's how.
419
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:22,172
[moans]
420
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,420
Are you sure
this will work?
421
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,540
It has to work.
422
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:28,495
I have a feeling
when the clock strikes 12:00,
423
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:32,383
our friend spooky
is going to wake up hungry.
424
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:48,455
[thunder crashes]
425
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:52,578
[growling]
426
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,043
-Aah!
-Aah!
427
00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:09,422
Let us never speak
of this again.
428
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,420
Speak of what?
429
00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,249
I can't seem to stop
eating this Taffy.
430
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,713
Maybe I can make up
for tonight
431
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:18,172
if I become a missionary
432
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,460
and spend my life
in service to others.
433
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:21,382
-[thunder crashes]
-Aah!
434
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,500
What was that?
435
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,923
It sounded like lightning
followed by a scream.
436
00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:27,881
Oh, you are
the clever one.
437
00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:30,329
Leonard, sweetie,
are you all right?
438
00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:33,627
It's your mom!
Quick, act natural.
439
00:18:34,709 --> 00:18:36,169
Oh, my poor doodlebug.
440
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,040
Did that noise scare you?
441
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,455
Yes. Say yes.
442
00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:40,632
Yes.
443
00:18:40,709 --> 00:18:42,039
Good boy.
Now stay cool.
444
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:43,575
Oh, poor baby.
445
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:47,377
It was probably just a cat.
Now, come on, hop back into bed.
446
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:48,788
Okay.
447
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,173
Mom, if I did
something bad--
448
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:55,580
I mean really bad--
would you still love me?
449
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:56,997
Well, of course, honey.
450
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:59,543
I might be really,
really disappointed,
451
00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:01,915
but you're
my little sugarplum,
452
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,170
and I'll always love you
no matter what.
453
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,080
[heart beating]
454
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:05,633
[Spot thinking]
What is that sound?
455
00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,037
[heart beating]
456
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,415
[thunder crashes]
457
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,537
It's coming from the closet.
458
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:16,875
Could the beating heart Taffy
actually be... beating?
459
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,919
I can't believe
she can't hear it.
460
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,330
Hmm, looks like
another storm's coming in.
461
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:24,827
She knows.
Keep talking, Leonard.
462
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:27,707
Mom, there's something
I need to tell you.
463
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,212
What is it, pumpkin?
464
00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:30,131
[heart beating]
465
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,214
She's toying with us.
466
00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:34,171
Well, tonight,
467
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,210
when we went
trick-or-treating...
468
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:38,211
That's it!
469
00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:40,421
I can't take it anymore!
470
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,580
[barking]
471
00:19:44,542 --> 00:19:45,382
[gasps]
472
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,125
What is this?
473
00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:50,378
[thinking] Hey, it stopped.
What do you know?
474
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,708
It wasn't coming
from the bag after all.
475
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,082
It must have been
my own heartbeat.
476
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:56,956
Ain't that
a kick in the pants?
477
00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:58,961
Leonard Amadeus Helperman,
478
00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:01,631
you have got
a lot of explaining to do.
479
00:20:01,709 --> 00:20:03,879
Mom, that's what
I was trying to tell you.
480
00:20:03,959 --> 00:20:05,959
I disobeyed you.
481
00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:07,631
Scott and I
did cross the street,
482
00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:09,459
and we did trick-or-treat
for candy.
483
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,382
I didn't eat
any fruits or vegetables,
484
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,378
and I wasn't studying
American history,
485
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,788
and I'm so, so sorry.
486
00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:16,915
Please don't hate me.
487
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,380
Sweetheart, I told you,
I could never hate you,
488
00:20:19,458 --> 00:20:21,998
but I am very disappointed.
489
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:23,833
Now, you go back to sleep,
490
00:20:23,917 --> 00:20:26,457
and we'll discuss
your punishment in the morning.
491
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:27,542
Okay, mom.
492
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:28,995
[moaning and whining]
493
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,625
Oh, Leonard.
494
00:20:31,709 --> 00:20:34,539
How could you let your
poor, innocent Spotty-Wottie
495
00:20:34,625 --> 00:20:36,205
eat that vile junk?
496
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:37,631
Come on, poor baby.
497
00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:40,249
You sleep with me tonight.
Good night, Leonard.
498
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:41,383
Good night, mom.
499
00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:44,328
[thinking] I'm going to hear
about this tomorrow.
500
00:20:44,542 --> 00:20:46,252
Poor little pupper-wupper.
501
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:49,633
Did that nasty candy
give you a tummy ache?
502
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:52,829
What on earth?
503
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:56,787
[sighs]
Will it never stop raining?
504
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,665
Oh, well, at least
I'm not grounded
505
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:02,710
with no TV and no treats for a
whole month like someone else I
know.
506
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:05,042
Need I remind you
that you were the one
507
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:06,415
who talked me into
disobeying my mom
508
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:07,330
in the first place?
509
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,497
So since you're
still my dog,
510
00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:11,463
and i'm
still your master,
511
00:21:11,542 --> 00:21:14,882
as long as I'm punished,
you're punished.
512
00:21:14,959 --> 00:21:18,039
Lenny, you wouldn't pull rank
on me, would you?
513
00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:19,415
Absolutely.
514
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,670
Well, I guess we both learned
something from this.
515
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:25,630
Even though we may not agree
with all the restrictions
516
00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:27,209
our parents place on us,
517
00:21:27,291 --> 00:21:29,171
we should understand
that they love us
518
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:31,000
and have our best interests
in mind,
519
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,463
and when we break their rules
behind their backs...
520
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:34,382
[toilet flushes]
521
00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:37,209
Our deception will surely
come back to haunt us.
522
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:38,081
[growling]
523
00:21:38,417 --> 00:21:39,747
Get it? Haunt us?
524
00:21:39,834 --> 00:21:42,294
See how I worked that
into this whole Halloween theme?
525
00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:45,165
Very clever, but actually,
I already knew all that stuff
526
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:47,040
about following
our parents' rules.
527
00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:48,875
What I learned
is to never let you
528
00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:51,249
or anybody else
talk me into doing something
529
00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,673
that I know
I shouldn't do.
530
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:55,330
And we've learned
never to take in boarders
531
00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:58,127
without first
checking their references.
532
00:21:58,208 --> 00:21:59,918
Amen to that, brother.
533
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,420
Leonard, look what I found
on our doorstep.
534
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:04,710
I figure we'll keep
the poor little fella
535
00:22:04,792 --> 00:22:07,422
until we can find him
a good home.
536
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:08,790
Look, Mr. Jolly--
537
00:22:08,875 --> 00:22:11,785
a new friend
for you to play with.
538
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:12,705
[cat screeches]
38016
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