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1
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,879
I think it's cool
that I got the salad
2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:11,978
but the point was
to eat a salad to be healthier
3
00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:14,765
and there's bread
underneath it...
4
00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:16,166
Well, they said
it was a crostini,
5
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:17,266
which is usually smaller.
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,532
What is it?
7
00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:20,732
- I should pay more attention.
- A crostini. It's Italian.
8
00:00:20,733 --> 00:00:24,166
It's good, I mean, I guess.
It's the whole bread thing.
9
00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:26,632
I don't want to complain.
I complain too much as it is.
10
00:00:26,633 --> 00:00:27,632
You do complain but...
11
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:29,498
It's good.
Did you like yours?
12
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,199
Oh, that's cool.
What is that?
13
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,999
Open it.
14
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,132
Really?
15
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:36,765
Yeah.
16
00:00:36,766 --> 00:00:37,566
This is really nice.
17
00:00:38,733 --> 00:00:40,999
Oh, this is really pretty.
18
00:00:42,633 --> 00:00:45,532
It goes on your other hand.
19
00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:46,366
The left.
20
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:47,499
- The left hand?
- Yeah.
21
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:50,099
What is that? Is that Arabic?
What does that mean?
22
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,199
No, the guy at the store
said it was Tibetan.
23
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,366
It means to overcome obstacles.
24
00:00:56,367 --> 00:00:58,099
- Oh, that's really nice.
- I thought it was perfect for you.
25
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,565
This is really pretty. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
26
00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:02,999
What's the occasion?
I mean, It's just... nice.
27
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,366
I mean... thank you.
28
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,199
Erik. I want to...
29
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,665
I'm...
30
00:01:10,666 --> 00:01:14,233
I'm asking you if
you want to marry me?
31
00:01:14,234 --> 00:01:16,166
This is an engagement ring?
32
00:01:16,167 --> 00:01:18,599
Yeah. Yeah and I...
33
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,465
Um....
34
00:01:21,466 --> 00:01:22,745
Here at the restaurant?
I mean...
35
00:01:23,566 --> 00:01:25,966
Not here.
We can't do this here.
36
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,532
Why not here?
Why?
37
00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:32,499
It's such a cliché.
You're into that kind of thing.
38
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,399
It's nice. It's pretty.
I mean, I can wear it...
39
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,166
I can wear it like...
40
00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,266
So you're saying no?
41
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:41,299
Yes.
42
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,599
I'm saying "No." I mean, I'm saying,
"No!"But "No" doesn't always mean "Yes',
43
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,199
but in this case it does.
44
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,465
So, you know...
45
00:01:45,466 --> 00:01:47,333
Wow. Okay.
46
00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:49,333
Look, you're not
thinking this through.
47
00:01:49,334 --> 00:01:51,166
- That's just what I'm saying.
- Yes, I have.
48
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:54,632
I thought... what?
49
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:55,924
It's just, I know this is your
attempt at being post-feminist
50
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,132
and post-modern, after reading
that Sheryl Sandberg book.
51
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:59,132
You want to say,
"Let's reverse it
52
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:00,966
so the girl now
proposes to the guy"
53
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:02,266
because that's what
you're supposed...
54
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:06,166
Erik, I don't really care what
you're about to say right now.
55
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,299
But I want to get married
and I want to have babies. So...
56
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,166
But you're also doing really
well at your job right now.
57
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,299
You're excelling so much.
58
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,532
You're rising up
in the law firm.
59
00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:17,066
You're doing really well.
60
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:18,299
And like Sheryl Sandberg said,
61
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,365
"We need more women
in positions of power."
62
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,125
Most women in powerful
positions are married.
63
00:02:24,219 --> 00:02:25,299
Sheryl Sandberg is married.
64
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,765
There's an entire chapter
about that,
65
00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:28,199
about how amazing
her partner is
66
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,299
and how she couldn't
do it without him,
67
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,432
especially when
she was pregnant.
68
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:32,665
Okay, but at the same time,
you have an obligation
69
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,432
to be a housewife.
70
00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:36,465
If you're...
71
00:02:36,466 --> 00:02:38,099
I have an obligation
to be a housewife?
72
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,532
I'm just saying
that if you're working,
73
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:41,199
you can't do both.
74
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,166
I mean, I didn't read the book
so I don't know
75
00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:44,632
but you can't,
you can't do both.
76
00:02:44,633 --> 00:02:47,032
How can you not do both?
77
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,398
Because someone
has to cook and clean.
78
00:02:48,399 --> 00:02:50,099
Well, you can cook and clean.
79
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,999
I'm Turkish.
80
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,632
Turkish men don't do that kind of thing.Are
you playing the Turkish card again?
81
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,365
I'm also a dirty person.
82
00:02:56,366 --> 00:02:59,099
Dirty people don't have the
disposition for being clean.
83
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,266
And because I'm dirty
I shouldn't cook either
84
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,199
because that's unhygienic
in a lot of ways.
85
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,166
I mean, this is like...
86
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,665
My mother says that
I should break up with you.
87
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,632
See, imagine how she'd
feel if we got married.
88
00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:14,465
No, this is precisely why she
wants me to break up with you.
89
00:03:14,466 --> 00:03:17,166
Because you won't marry me.
90
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:20,166
Well, I hate your mom anyway.
I mean...
91
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,233
I don't hate her like that.
I'm just kidding.
92
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:23,465
In a playful way I hate her.
93
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:26,465
But if she died tomorrow,
I wouldn't be that upset or sad.
94
00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:28,365
I mean, I'd be sad
because you'd be sad probably.
95
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:31,032
I'd lament for a...
I'd pretend to lament for
96
00:03:31,033 --> 00:03:33,099
maybe like a week or two
or something like that.
97
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,166
It's just... you know?
98
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,726
Hey. Look, you're not
going to storm off
99
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:40,166
and make a scene are you?
100
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,298
Why would I do that?
101
00:03:42,299 --> 00:03:43,266
Because you're upset.
102
00:03:43,267 --> 00:03:45,365
To be dramatic,
you know, to make a scene.
103
00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:48,266
Oh right, because I'm a woman, I'm going
to be dramatic? I'm going to the bathroom.
104
00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:49,465
Okay, good.
105
00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:52,099
Because I just want to
drink my beer and...
106
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,532
My joints hurt.
I just want to relax.
107
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,233
I don't want to
do this anymore.
108
00:03:59,234 --> 00:04:00,332
Come on, Jody.
109
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:03,465
I don't.
110
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:06,265
You always do this every time
we get into an argument, you do this.
111
00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:07,565
You get fatalistic about the relationship,
and then you want to break up.
112
00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:10,465
And then we go back home
and then we start kissing
113
00:04:10,466 --> 00:04:13,498
and everything works out.
114
00:04:13,499 --> 00:04:14,812
I don't want to be with someone
who doesn't want to get married.I
115
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,066
don't want to be with someone who
doesn't want to have babies.
116
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,099
Jody, babies are worthless.
117
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,233
I don't want to be with someone
who thinks babies are worthless.
118
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,233
Come on.
119
00:04:22,234 --> 00:04:24,465
This is ridiculous.
You're being silly.
120
00:04:24,466 --> 00:04:25,966
You know?
121
00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:26,899
Jody?
122
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,265
- Jason?
- Hey.
123
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,265
- How are you?
- Oh my God.
124
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:36,166
Oh my God.
Are you still here in New York?
125
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,565
Do you live here?
126
00:04:37,566 --> 00:04:39,298
Yeah.
Do you?
127
00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:40,665
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
128
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:43,064
- I just got a job on Park Avenue
at a law firm. - Oh my God.
129
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:46,632
- That's incredible.
- Wow!
130
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,632
- This is incredible to see you.
- I know.
131
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:51,166
It's incredible to see you too.
Hey there.
132
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,365
- Hey.
- Erik.
133
00:04:53,366 --> 00:04:54,665
Erik.
134
00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:58,265
- Yes, I'm uh... I am. I'm, uh...
- Hey.
135
00:04:58,266 --> 00:04:59,665
Yeah... it's nice to meet you.
136
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,565
Yeah.
I'm Jason.
137
00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:02,999
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
138
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,432
I'm Erik.
139
00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:08,198
- How are you?
- Cool.
140
00:05:08,199 --> 00:05:10,565
- This is so crazy.
- This is crazy.
141
00:05:10,566 --> 00:05:13,198
I feel like I haven't
seen you...
142
00:05:13,199 --> 00:05:14,632
- I don't even know when.
- I don't know.
143
00:05:14,633 --> 00:05:16,565
Look, it's great that you guys
are catching up and everything
144
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,499
but it's probably not the
best time to be talking
145
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:22,398
because we're in the middle
of a conversation. So...
146
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:25,532
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, no, no, no.
147
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,532
It was good to see you.
148
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,132
We'll catch up sometime later.
149
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:30,432
No, no.
150
00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:32,398
I was just saying good-bye to
him but he kept following me.
151
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,232
- It's totally fine.
- That's funny.
152
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,532
No, she's my girlfriend.
We're boyfriend and girlfriend.
153
00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,699
We're just having a argument
right now and...
154
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,765
Okay.
155
00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,209
You know, stupid arguments
that people have. But
156
00:05:42,235 --> 00:05:43,565
it's going to be cool
when the lights go down
157
00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:45,465
and our bodies start grooving,
you know what I'm saying.
158
00:05:45,466 --> 00:05:48,532
So you best be moving on,
till the break of dawn, buddy.
159
00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:50,499
I don't want to make trouble,
I just want to make love.
160
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,665
So hit the road Jack,
and don't you come back,
161
00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:54,232
o more, no more,
no more, no more.
162
00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:55,432
I'm sorry to interrupt.
163
00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:56,565
No, no,
you weren't interrupting.
164
00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:58,099
Nice to meet you.
165
00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,032
What are you doing?
Do you want to go get a drink?
166
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:04,032
Are you free?
I'm sorry.
167
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:06,765
Actually, I'm going to meet
Gregory Kohn and Jane... Kohn.
168
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,699
- Oh my God. They got married?
- Yes.
169
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,232
- Wait. What? That's amazing.
- I know.
170
00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:17,032
- And she changed her name?
- It's Kohn.
171
00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:19,999
That's so great.
172
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,173
She's trying to make me jealous,
Jason.- I can't believe that.
173
00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:21,732
- They would love to see you.
174
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,398
- You should totally come.
- I would love to see them.
175
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,398
- It's about four blocks down.
- Great.
176
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:27,632
Jason, she's trying
to make me jealous.
177
00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:29,099
- Oh, just pay no attention to him.
- It's true.
178
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,432
You guys obviously
used to know each other.
179
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,699
We're having an argument
and you walk up and...
180
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,599
- Listen.
- He's pathological.
181
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,999
- Maybe you two used to have a
relationship. - Erik, just stop.
182
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,532
I understand what you're
trying to do, okay.
183
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:43,198
Maybe you had a
relationship before.
184
00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:43,790
- Maybe you think you're
going to heavy pet.
185
00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:44,432
- Erik, stop.
- Is everything okay here? - Stop.
186
00:06:44,433 --> 00:06:46,066
Everything's really fine.
Of course.
187
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,999
- I'm just holding my woman.
- Let go of me.
188
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,198
She just asked you to let go of
her, so now you let go of her.
189
00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:52,565
- But she's my girlfriend.
- I'm not your girlfriend.
190
00:06:52,566 --> 00:06:54,432
And that's what you're
allowed to do
191
00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:56,066
- when you're dating someone.
- I'm not your girlfriend.
192
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,365
I'll help.
193
00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:59,605
- Do you want to go get a drink?
- Yeah. I would love to.
194
00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,732
All right.
195
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:04,599
- Good-night, Erik.
- Hey... uh...
196
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,198
Have a good night, man.
197
00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:10,151
You should shave,
button up that shirt.
198
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,532
Maybe get a fucking job.
All right?
199
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:00,432
Hey.
200
00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:01,165
Jesus Christ.
201
00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:05,599
I thought I was
having a bad night.
202
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,665
You're in bad shape.
Do you need some help?
203
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:09,732
Can you tell me what you need?
204
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,332
What can I do for you?
205
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,632
I think your vocal chords
have been ripped out
206
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:16,999
and you can't speak.
207
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,499
Can you do sign language?
Can you sign what you need?
208
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,432
Can you use sign language?
209
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:28,165
You do know sign language.
Wow.
210
00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:31,165
I don't know sign language
so I can't help you.
211
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:34,198
But I dated a deaf girl
in college actually.
212
00:08:34,199 --> 00:08:35,198
She broke up with me
213
00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:37,365
because I was always
farting in front of her.
214
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,131
I didn't think she would mind
so much.
215
00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:41,198
God, we have to stymie
that blood flow.
216
00:08:41,199 --> 00:08:42,365
Holy shit.
217
00:08:42,366 --> 00:08:44,632
I wish I could call 911
but I don't have a cell phone.
218
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:45,699
I don't have a handkerchief.
219
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:49,298
But my girlfriend makes me
carry a spare tampon
220
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:50,465
because she forgets
them sometimes.
221
00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:53,732
Let me just try this.
Let me just pull this out here.
222
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,632
No, no.
Don't do that.
223
00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:56,632
Just hold still.
Oh Jesus!
224
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:00,745
Oh, are you HIV negative,
I hope?
225
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:05,998
Oh man.
Oh my God. Look...
226
00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:20,165
Hey.
227
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:20,966
Are you still there?
228
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,165
Are you gone?
229
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,298
Look, you're still
breathing a little bit
230
00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:34,432
so maybe there's still
time possibly.
231
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,532
I'll try to go call for help,
okay?
232
00:09:36,533 --> 00:09:39,265
Maybe keep the wound
elevated if you can?
233
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,499
If you can find the energy to
get to your feet or something,
234
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:43,965
maybe there's still a chance.
235
00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:45,499
I'll try to go find someone.
236
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,265
Okay?
237
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:49,365
Hey, hey.
238
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:51,265
Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
239
00:09:51,266 --> 00:09:52,732
Do you have a cell phone
I could use really quickly,
240
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:53,465
if you don't mind?
241
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:56,732
No. What?
242
00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:57,792
It's not for me. I don't
carry a cell phone.There's
243
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:58,565
a guy down the
alleyway who needs it.
244
00:09:58,566 --> 00:10:00,031
- He's dead.
- What?
245
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,365
What happened?
246
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:02,599
You should go down there
and look for yourself.
247
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,265
It looks like someone
ripped his throat open.
248
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,165
- What?
- Yeah. Yeah.
249
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,765
Did you go to
Westbrook High School?
250
00:10:06,766 --> 00:10:08,632
I'm sorry, you look
very very familiar to me.
251
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:09,465
No, where's Westbrook?
252
00:10:09,466 --> 00:10:10,699
It's in Connecticut.
253
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,198
- Oh really.
- Yeah.
254
00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:14,278
No, I didn't go there. Yeah,
do I remind you... People
255
00:10:14,304 --> 00:10:15,298
tell me that I remind them
of someone all the time.
256
00:10:15,299 --> 00:10:17,131
You totally remind me of a guy.
257
00:10:17,132 --> 00:10:19,265
I get Jerry Garcia constantly.
258
00:10:19,266 --> 00:10:21,465
- Jerry Garcia?
- Yeah, I totally get that.
259
00:10:21,466 --> 00:10:23,665
Oh my God, my mom was like,
the biggest deadhead.
260
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,232
Was she a deadhead?
261
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,165
She took me to a dead show
right before Jerry died.
262
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:28,998
- Oh really?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
263
00:10:28,999 --> 00:10:30,599
You do kind of look like Jerry.
264
00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,098
Look,
I need to tell you something
265
00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:38,098
but I don't want you
to freak out.
266
00:10:38,099 --> 00:10:41,098
What?
267
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,131
They're seriously considering
getting rid of you. - Why? - Why?
268
00:10:42,132 --> 00:10:43,565
Because you are by far
the worst sales person
269
00:10:43,566 --> 00:10:45,031
in this office, that's why.
270
00:10:45,032 --> 00:10:48,298
Someone has to be the worst.
271
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,565
And when you consider how good everyone
is here, being the worst isn't bad.
272
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,665
You complain constantly.
273
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:55,198
Everyone is sick of it,
especially upper management.
274
00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:57,332
Being unsatisfied is
a sign of ambition.
275
00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,031
Every day you come in late
and you leave early.
276
00:11:00,032 --> 00:11:02,665
I'm trying to stand out.
277
00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:03,243
- You have no discipline.
278
00:11:03,269 --> 00:11:04,998
- That's not true. I once went three
weeks without watching internet porn.
279
00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:06,165
You don't own a cell phone.
280
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,998
I think I have
testicular cancer.
281
00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,465
I don't need a brain tumor too.
282
00:11:09,466 --> 00:11:11,565
Do you realize that you are
fundamentally incapable
283
00:11:11,566 --> 00:11:13,365
of taking anything seriously?
284
00:11:13,366 --> 00:11:15,532
Yeah, because there's already
enough drama in the world
285
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:16,532
as it is. I mean...
286
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:19,131
Here's the bottom line.
287
00:11:19,132 --> 00:11:20,365
Unless you start pulling your weight around
here, they're going to get rid of you.
288
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:22,332
It's hard pulling
my weight, Jamie.
289
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,131
- Have you seen my stomach?
- I'm serious.
290
00:11:24,132 --> 00:11:26,265
But you've always taken
things too seriously.
291
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:28,632
Get your shit together.
292
00:11:34,099 --> 00:11:36,065
Jody and I broke up last night.
293
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,699
Hmm?
294
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,665
I broke up with Jody last night.
295
00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,699
Who's Jody?
296
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:45,031
My ex-girlfriend.
297
00:11:45,032 --> 00:11:47,498
Three years, we've been dating.
298
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,065
Three years.
299
00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:50,699
I thought you were asexual.
300
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,131
Me?
Asexual? Me?
301
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:57,998
Yeah.
302
00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:00,432
I've had like, three STDs.
303
00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:03,098
That's how asexual I am.
304
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:06,298
Hello.
305
00:12:08,299 --> 00:12:11,098
- Oh hi, Mr. Waters.
- I was kidding about those STDs.
306
00:12:11,099 --> 00:12:13,098
- What?
- I was kidding about the STDs.
307
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,764
I was joking...
308
00:12:14,765 --> 00:12:16,565
So, I was reviewing
your order and...
309
00:12:32,093 --> 00:12:34,332
I really wish you wouldn't
show up like this unannounced.
310
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,732
I don't have a cell phone.
You know I don't.
311
00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:37,532
- What do you want?
- I just want to talk.
312
00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:38,665
Go ahead.
313
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,398
Jody, forgive me.
I'm sorry.
314
00:12:40,399 --> 00:12:41,699
Okay.
315
00:12:53,966 --> 00:12:55,465
Hey.
316
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:56,365
Oh great.
It's you.
317
00:12:58,399 --> 00:13:00,265
Yeah, it's me.
318
00:13:00,266 --> 00:13:01,632
Hey.
319
00:13:04,147 --> 00:13:06,665
Are you going here to see Jody?
Are you seeing Jody? No. No. No.
320
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:09,198
I'm going to vacuum
the carpets.
321
00:13:09,199 --> 00:13:10,565
I do that for the building.
322
00:13:10,566 --> 00:13:12,098
Really?
Is that why... really?
323
00:13:12,099 --> 00:13:13,198
No.
324
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:16,265
I'll be honest with you.
325
00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:18,298
There's an old man on the third floor.
He's got boils all over his back.
326
00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:21,265
I'm here to lance them.
327
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:22,632
Oh, you're a lancer? I thought you
were a lawyer. No, no, no, no.
328
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,591
I'm a freelance lancer.
A freelancer, if you will.
329
00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:27,165
That's funny
330
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,131
because I have a cyst
you can lance,
331
00:13:29,132 --> 00:13:30,965
right here on the tip
of my finger.
332
00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:32,465
You couldn't afford me.
333
00:13:32,466 --> 00:13:34,465
You're wasting your time, bucko.
334
00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:35,599
She still loves me.
335
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,565
And you don't have
a chance in hell.
336
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:41,398
Ask me how big my dick is.
337
00:13:41,399 --> 00:13:42,432
Excuse me?
338
00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:43,472
Ask me how big my dick is.
339
00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:47,565
No.
340
00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:54,532
How big is it?
How big?
341
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,998
Ask Jody's vagina.
342
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,098
You're mean.
343
00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:07,298
Hey Penelope.
344
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:09,232
Penelope.
345
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:14,831
Do you want to
have dinner tonight?
346
00:14:16,199 --> 00:14:17,998
No.
347
00:14:19,732 --> 00:14:21,298
I was just kidding.
It was a joke.
348
00:14:23,853 --> 00:14:25,731
I wasn't really asking you out.
That was a joke.
349
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,898
But if I had been serious,
350
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:31,031
the place I would have taken you
is really really nice.
351
00:14:31,032 --> 00:14:33,150
The cheapest thing on the menu
is like, eight dollars.
352
00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:36,365
Okay.
353
00:14:36,366 --> 00:14:38,605
I'm just curious though.
It's because I'm Turkish, right?
354
00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:41,565
I'm Turkish, you're Jewish.
355
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:43,298
- That's the reason why
- No.
356
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,298
If I were serious,
you wouldn't go out with me.
357
00:14:45,299 --> 00:14:48,098
What's the reason, then?
Why?
358
00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:49,631
What's the reason?
359
00:14:49,632 --> 00:14:51,398
Um...
360
00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:57,098
Spit it out.
361
00:14:57,099 --> 00:14:59,398
You're just not my type.
362
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,465
Be more specific.
363
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:02,631
You're old.
364
00:15:30,732 --> 00:15:33,498
So, have you ever
been here before?
365
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:38,265
- This restaurant?
- Mm-hmm.
366
00:15:38,266 --> 00:15:40,073
Yeah, yeah, I use to come
here a lot actually.
367
00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:41,764
- Is your food good?
- Yes, it's excellent.
368
00:15:41,765 --> 00:15:43,298
You can try my
salmon if you want.
369
00:15:43,299 --> 00:15:44,532
- I love salmon.
- The salmon's great.
370
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:45,498
Yeah.
371
00:15:45,499 --> 00:15:47,698
I don't know if its
farm-raised or not,
372
00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:49,298
which is kind of fucked up,
373
00:15:49,299 --> 00:15:51,265
but you know,
you should try it.
374
00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,731
But before you do that,
I want to show you my hand,
375
00:15:53,732 --> 00:15:56,165
to show you why
farm-raised salmon can be...
376
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:58,731
You see how my hand
shakes like that.
377
00:15:58,732 --> 00:16:01,031
That's due to permanent
nerve damage.
378
00:16:01,032 --> 00:16:02,731
I'm not saying salmon had
something to do with it
379
00:16:02,732 --> 00:16:05,031
but it probably did,
380
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,564
but it's not going to
keep me from enjoying it.
381
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:08,298
You know what I'm saying?
382
00:16:08,299 --> 00:16:10,398
It's dangerous lead,
but fuck it.
383
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,198
Also, I want to point out
this guy over here.
384
00:16:12,199 --> 00:16:13,498
This Middle Eastern
dude over there.
385
00:16:13,499 --> 00:16:16,098
He has the
backpack at his table.
386
00:16:16,099 --> 00:16:17,531
Don't look...
387
00:16:17,532 --> 00:16:18,631
Yeah.
388
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,698
What's in the backpack?
You know what I'm saying?
389
00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:22,564
- You understand the point I'm
trying to make? - What do you mean?
390
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,031
I'm just saying that there's
nothing safe anymore.
391
00:16:25,032 --> 00:16:26,031
Safe is dead.
392
00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:27,998
You know, lead in the salmon.
393
00:16:27,999 --> 00:16:30,498
Middle Eastern guys
with backpacks. I mean...
394
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:33,031
Do you think that's a
very healthy attitude?
395
00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:35,498
I think it's liberating,
in a lot of ways.
396
00:16:35,499 --> 00:16:37,065
How so?
397
00:16:37,066 --> 00:16:39,131
Well if everything is a danger,
398
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,631
then there's nothing to fear
for the most part.
399
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,998
For example, do you have kids?
400
00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:45,031
- No.
- Okay, good.
401
00:16:45,032 --> 00:16:49,265
That's a relief actually.
402
00:16:49,266 --> 00:16:50,372
But if and when you do,
they're fucked. I mean,
403
00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:51,432
they're not safe anywhere,
on the playground,
404
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,365
in the schools,
in the restaurants,
405
00:16:53,366 --> 00:16:54,531
in their own bedrooms.
406
00:16:54,532 --> 00:16:56,198
Someone can break in
and take them.
407
00:16:56,199 --> 00:16:57,564
And knowing that they're
408
00:16:57,565 --> 00:17:00,432
perpetually in danger
means that,
409
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:01,365
you can be liberated.
410
00:17:01,366 --> 00:17:03,165
You shouldn't fear anything.
411
00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:05,044
I think that's actually
a very healthy attitude.
412
00:17:07,399 --> 00:17:09,497
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
413
00:17:15,665 --> 00:17:18,298
Look, I need to
tell you something.
414
00:17:18,299 --> 00:17:19,398
Are you on your period?
415
00:17:19,399 --> 00:17:20,664
No, that's not it.
416
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,898
I think a lot of what you said
at dinner was way off base.
417
00:17:25,299 --> 00:17:27,098
Really.
418
00:17:28,266 --> 00:17:30,031
Mm-hmm.
419
00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:32,664
I'm a optimist.
420
00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:34,664
Well, I've never dated
an eye doctor. So...
421
00:17:34,665 --> 00:17:36,764
Not an ophthalmologist,
an optimist.
422
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,531
I think things
are getting better.
423
00:17:38,532 --> 00:17:41,065
I don't think liberty stems
from being scared of everything.
424
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:43,184
I think liberty results from
empowerment and progress.
425
00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:49,031
I agree.
426
00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:50,171
Maybe we should liberate
ourselves from our
427
00:17:50,197 --> 00:17:51,464
clothes and progress to
the penetration ceremony.
428
00:17:51,465 --> 00:17:54,731
For everything bad that happens,
100 good things happen.
429
00:17:54,732 --> 00:17:57,131
Consciousness is on the rise.
430
00:17:57,132 --> 00:17:59,489
People are less tolerant of war
and human rights violations.
431
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,998
They're standing up
to injustices.
432
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,698
They're speaking out
against bullies.
433
00:18:05,699 --> 00:18:08,165
There are people inventing
things in their garages
434
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:10,031
that are going to
change the world.
435
00:18:10,032 --> 00:18:13,365
I think it's an exciting
time to be alive.
436
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:14,685
Wow, you're really
something else.
437
00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:20,298
I admire your passion so much.
438
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,631
It's incredible.
439
00:18:21,632 --> 00:18:23,497
But you sound like a dumbass.
440
00:18:23,498 --> 00:18:25,598
- Like one of those sniveling liberals.
- You're a dick!
441
00:18:25,599 --> 00:18:26,998
You know, it's true.
442
00:18:26,999 --> 00:18:30,031
Come on, don't go.
Wait a second.
443
00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:32,431
Look, look, look, look, look.
444
00:18:32,432 --> 00:18:34,397
I'm just being honest, okay.
You can appreciate that.
445
00:18:34,398 --> 00:18:36,998
If this is honesty, then I don't
anything else to do with you.
446
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:40,731
No, no, hold on a second.
447
00:18:40,732 --> 00:18:43,098
You can't take anything I'm saying
seriously. I'm exhausted and confused.
448
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:45,431
What do you have to be
exhausted and confused about?
449
00:18:45,432 --> 00:18:48,098
Oh man, I'm 40 years old.
450
00:18:48,099 --> 00:18:50,598
You online profile
said you were 35.
451
00:18:50,599 --> 00:18:52,998
See how confused I am.
I mean...
452
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,517
Okay, but when I dye
my hair I look 30.
453
00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:59,431
Look, I think New York
is a magical city,
454
00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,764
and I feel very close
to the humanity here.
455
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,564
In fact, I've never been
more optimistic about
456
00:19:03,565 --> 00:19:05,464
the human race in my life.
457
00:19:05,465 --> 00:19:07,397
A lot of people say
that when you get older,
458
00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:10,031
you get more cynical
but every day, in every way,
459
00:19:10,032 --> 00:19:13,031
I feel like Mary Poppins
on nitrous oxide.
460
00:19:13,032 --> 00:19:14,998
Yes, yes, it's true. You know,
one of the things I like to do
461
00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,364
when I want to feel
elbow to elbow
462
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:18,764
with my brothers
and sisters in the city?
463
00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:20,965
I'll ride the subway,
I'm not kidding,
464
00:19:20,966 --> 00:19:22,198
and I'll look for two people,
465
00:19:22,199 --> 00:19:25,232
like, the most downtrodden,
depressed people I can find,
466
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:27,165
I will just sandwich myself.
467
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,631
I'll will sit right
between them.
468
00:19:28,632 --> 00:19:32,165
It doesn't matter who they are.
469
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,390
They could be white hipsters,
or Chinese bankers
470
00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:34,564
or black bankers, or
Puerto Ricans hipsters...
471
00:19:34,565 --> 00:19:36,731
or Jews.
472
00:19:36,732 --> 00:19:38,891
I'll sit beside them and
I'll put one hand on one thigh
473
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:43,298
and one hand on the other thigh,
474
00:19:43,299 --> 00:19:45,656
just to let them know that we're
all in this thing together.
475
00:19:47,732 --> 00:19:50,331
Shut up.
You are ridiculous!
476
00:19:50,332 --> 00:19:52,232
Don't patronize me.
I believe this shit.
477
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,364
I feel strongly about this.
478
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:56,364
Bullshit.
479
00:19:56,365 --> 00:19:58,397
Seriously, fuck you.
480
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,265
Are you telling me you
actually put your hands
481
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,397
on two peoples' thighs
to show them solidarity?
482
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:06,265
Because if you're serious,
I will marry you right now.
483
00:20:06,266 --> 00:20:07,431
Let's not get carried away,
okay.
484
00:20:07,432 --> 00:20:09,232
I don't know if I'm
marriage material.
485
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:12,031
But I like your
enthusiasm quite a bit.
486
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:14,664
I mean, all things considered,
487
00:20:14,665 --> 00:20:18,364
to be clear, I don't know
how I feel about marriage.
488
00:20:18,365 --> 00:20:20,497
No, I know how I feel.
I've been married.
489
00:20:20,498 --> 00:20:23,664
I'm not doing it again.
It's not for everyone.
490
00:20:23,665 --> 00:20:25,031
You were married but
491
00:20:25,032 --> 00:20:26,364
you're against
marriage completely?
492
00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:28,431
You're totally against it, now?
493
00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,271
I mean, it's not for everyone.
It's not for me.
494
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:32,998
Cheers.
495
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,464
I think that's really
a healthy attitude.
496
00:20:34,465 --> 00:20:36,198
I think that's a terrifically
healthy attitude.
497
00:20:36,199 --> 00:20:37,764
I'll drink to that.
498
00:20:37,765 --> 00:20:39,065
You like it, huh?
499
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,497
Try deeper, deeper.
500
00:20:43,498 --> 00:20:45,431
I can't go any deeper.
501
00:20:45,432 --> 00:20:46,431
Harder. Harder.
502
00:20:48,632 --> 00:20:50,364
I can't go any harder.
503
00:20:50,365 --> 00:20:51,085
Faster.
Try faster.
504
00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:54,998
I can't go any faster.
505
00:20:54,999 --> 00:20:58,264
Jesus, try anything.
Just fuck me!
506
00:20:58,265 --> 00:21:00,497
I'm doing the best I can, okay.
507
00:21:03,665 --> 00:21:06,464
It's good, huh?
You like it?
508
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,397
I'm close.
I'm close.
509
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:09,731
Okay.
510
00:21:13,199 --> 00:21:15,598
You know I should
probably head home.
511
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:16,919
Just stay for
a little bit longer.
512
00:21:19,532 --> 00:21:21,664
Um...
513
00:21:21,665 --> 00:21:22,998
Please, just little bit longer.
514
00:21:24,465 --> 00:21:27,531
Okay, I can stay for
maybe ten more minutes.
515
00:21:27,532 --> 00:21:29,664
Our bodies fit
together so well.
516
00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:30,931
Maybe five.
517
00:21:30,932 --> 00:21:34,131
I'm short and chubby so it's
hard for me to find a body type
518
00:21:34,132 --> 00:21:36,031
that meshes with mine.
519
00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:38,431
I really need to go.
520
00:21:38,432 --> 00:21:39,471
You don't like me, do you?
521
00:21:41,565 --> 00:21:43,404
I thought things were
going so well between us.
522
00:21:44,432 --> 00:21:46,364
You know, the problem is
I only do great sex.
523
00:21:54,465 --> 00:21:57,065
Like, I need great sex.
524
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,165
Good sex isn't good enough.
525
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:01,865
We, we had great sex, right?
It felt pretty great.
526
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,031
Mm.
527
00:22:06,765 --> 00:22:08,004
Look I'm out of practice, okay?
528
00:22:09,332 --> 00:22:11,998
Didn't you say that you just got
out of a three year relationship?
529
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:13,531
Yeah, so.
530
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:17,231
So you should be like,
practiced up.
531
00:22:17,232 --> 00:22:19,131
You should be, you should be...
532
00:22:19,132 --> 00:22:20,998
I don't understand.
533
00:22:20,999 --> 00:22:23,497
Look, fucking is difficult.
It's hard, okay.
534
00:22:23,498 --> 00:22:25,164
- Fucking is really hard.
- Fucking is hard?
535
00:22:25,165 --> 00:22:26,531
Yeah, it's like exercise.
536
00:22:26,532 --> 00:22:28,598
I don't know why they're
trying to outlaw gay marriage.
537
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:30,364
They should be
outlawing sit-ups.
538
00:22:30,365 --> 00:22:32,731
Oh my God,
that is your problem.
539
00:22:32,732 --> 00:22:34,331
Fucking should be
effortless and awesome!
540
00:22:37,432 --> 00:22:39,065
I can be effortless
and awesome.
541
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:42,098
No, you can't.
You're robotic and rigid.
542
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:43,965
I can fuck, okay.
543
00:22:43,966 --> 00:22:45,631
No.
544
00:22:45,632 --> 00:22:47,131
No, you can't.
545
00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:50,598
You know what I hate,
546
00:22:52,959 --> 00:22:55,197
more than anything else,
in the whole entire world? What?
547
00:22:55,198 --> 00:22:58,031
When you're watching a movie
548
00:22:58,032 --> 00:23:00,264
about a bunch of spoiled,
neurotic white people
549
00:23:00,265 --> 00:23:03,598
and then at some point,
a black character shows up
550
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:06,531
and then the filmmakers
draw attention to the fact
551
00:23:06,532 --> 00:23:08,464
that the character is black.
552
00:23:08,465 --> 00:23:09,431
Yeah.
553
00:23:09,432 --> 00:23:12,664
You're like black, right?
554
00:23:12,665 --> 00:23:14,130
Yeah.
I guess so.
555
00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:15,331
I always thought
I wanted to make
556
00:23:15,332 --> 00:23:16,664
a feature film at some point.
557
00:23:16,665 --> 00:23:18,497
You know, I always
thought I had it in me,
558
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:21,731
to do that.
559
00:23:21,732 --> 00:23:22,852
I mean, I'm in sales,
but I think if I ever
560
00:23:22,878 --> 00:23:23,998
did it I would probably
do the auteur thing.
561
00:23:23,999 --> 00:23:25,531
I would write,
direct and star in it,
562
00:23:25,532 --> 00:23:27,031
is what I probably
would end up doing.
563
00:23:27,032 --> 00:23:29,130
Wow, you have a lot of
confidence in yourself.
564
00:23:29,131 --> 00:23:31,731
How hard could it be
at the end of the day?
565
00:23:31,732 --> 00:23:35,397
I mean, Tyler Perry does that.
566
00:23:35,398 --> 00:23:36,645
He writes and directs and
stars in his own movies.
567
00:23:36,671 --> 00:23:37,598
Yeah, but Tyler Perry
is really smart.
568
00:23:37,599 --> 00:23:39,664
He's not that smart though.
Come on.
569
00:23:39,665 --> 00:23:40,631
Really?
570
00:23:40,632 --> 00:23:42,364
Come on,
his movies are horrible.
571
00:23:42,365 --> 00:23:44,731
- You know, they're terrible.
- Are they?
572
00:23:44,732 --> 00:23:46,431
You've seen his movies.
You know how bad they are.
573
00:23:46,432 --> 00:23:50,031
I've never seen a
Tyler Perry movie. No.
574
00:23:50,032 --> 00:23:50,836
- You've seen a Tyler Perry movie before.
- No, I haven't.
575
00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:51,531
Have you? I would never
watch a Tyler Perry movie.
576
00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:54,731
Why not?
577
00:23:54,732 --> 00:23:55,731
His movies are terrible, that's
why.How can you say they are terrible
578
00:23:55,732 --> 00:23:57,364
if you've never seen one?
579
00:23:57,365 --> 00:24:00,431
The feeling that you get.
580
00:24:00,432 --> 00:24:03,998
They just look bad.
They just feel bad.
581
00:24:03,999 --> 00:24:06,764
I see a trailer for a
Tyler Perry movie and I think,
582
00:24:06,765 --> 00:24:08,731
"It made that much money?
583
00:24:08,732 --> 00:24:10,197
It's making that kind of money?
584
00:24:10,198 --> 00:24:11,998
That's what people
are seeing that?"
585
00:24:11,999 --> 00:24:14,664
It just makes me mad.
586
00:24:14,665 --> 00:24:16,297
That is really presumptuous of you
to criticize a filmmaker's movies
587
00:24:16,298 --> 00:24:17,598
and you've never
seen their movies.
588
00:24:17,599 --> 00:24:19,331
Tyler Perry is
incredibly successful.
589
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,197
He's got to be doing
some right.
590
00:24:21,198 --> 00:24:21,698
Right?
591
00:24:22,699 --> 00:24:25,497
You should probably
stop eating so much bread,
592
00:24:27,365 --> 00:24:29,097
to be honest.
593
00:24:29,098 --> 00:24:31,297
So, um... have you ever
dated a black guy?
594
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,998
What do you want, Erik?
595
00:24:39,098 --> 00:24:40,497
I want to get back together.
596
00:24:40,498 --> 00:24:41,831
No.
597
00:24:41,832 --> 00:24:46,197
What do you mean?
598
00:24:46,198 --> 00:24:47,658
Does that mean like, "No. Forever no",
or just "no temporarily but maybe
599
00:24:47,684 --> 00:24:48,998
later we'll get back together."
Erik, you're abusive and dangerous
600
00:24:48,999 --> 00:24:51,397
and if you don't
stop calling me,
601
00:24:51,398 --> 00:24:53,664
I'm going to take out a
restraining order against you.
602
00:24:53,665 --> 00:24:55,464
Look, you're the
unstable one, okay.
603
00:24:55,465 --> 00:24:56,998
The only reason I want
to get back together is
604
00:24:56,999 --> 00:24:58,197
because I'm worried about you.
605
00:24:58,198 --> 00:24:59,631
I just want to make sure
that you're fine,
606
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:02,397
that you're not going to
do something psychotic,
607
00:25:02,398 --> 00:25:04,130
- or suicidal or something.
- Get over yourself.
608
00:25:04,131 --> 00:25:06,731
You're like a forty-year-old
man who's a child,
609
00:25:06,732 --> 00:25:09,297
who's going to die
afraid and alone.
610
00:25:09,298 --> 00:25:11,776
Look, for your information I've
been on three dates this month.
611
00:25:12,998 --> 00:25:15,598
Fantastic, you're a stud.
612
00:25:15,599 --> 00:25:18,197
- Well, I am one for three.
- Goodbye, Erik.
613
00:25:18,198 --> 00:25:19,531
Look, hold on.
Don't hang up the phone.
614
00:25:19,532 --> 00:25:21,731
I want to ask you
one more question
615
00:25:21,732 --> 00:25:23,130
and then I'll leave you
alone, okay.
616
00:25:24,265 --> 00:25:25,598
- Jody?
- What?
617
00:25:26,765 --> 00:25:29,631
- Are you there?
- What?
618
00:25:29,632 --> 00:25:32,097
Was the sex bad?
619
00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:33,631
What do you mean?
620
00:25:33,632 --> 00:25:36,664
I mean, did we have... during the
three years we were together,
621
00:25:36,665 --> 00:25:37,785
was the sex bad, between us?
622
00:25:40,998 --> 00:25:44,164
Erik, it was way worse
than that.
623
00:25:44,165 --> 00:25:45,397
I don't believe you.
624
00:25:45,398 --> 00:25:48,698
Do you know how I keep dry
when it's hot and humid outside?
625
00:25:48,699 --> 00:25:51,531
- How?
- I think of you!
626
00:25:51,532 --> 00:25:53,997
You're just....
627
00:25:53,998 --> 00:25:57,464
I would rather mount a chainsaw,
than be with you again.
628
00:25:57,465 --> 00:25:58,731
Okay, that's not nice.
629
00:25:58,732 --> 00:26:01,089
My sixty-five-year-old neighbor
has more stamina than you do
630
00:26:02,298 --> 00:26:04,531
and he has MS.
631
00:26:04,532 --> 00:26:07,130
Oh, you're having sex
with old Mr. Phillips now?
632
00:26:07,131 --> 00:26:09,364
Well, that would at least
be an improvement.
633
00:26:09,365 --> 00:26:10,631
Well, it wouldn't surprise me.
634
00:26:10,632 --> 00:26:14,431
I know you're having sex with
that frat boy motherfucker.
635
00:26:17,732 --> 00:26:19,464
Jody?
636
00:26:19,465 --> 00:26:22,997
Hey, I didn't mean that.
637
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,197
It's good you're
having sex with him.
638
00:26:25,198 --> 00:26:26,698
Are you there?
639
00:26:26,699 --> 00:26:28,664
Penelope.
What's up, girl?
640
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:31,997
Yes.
641
00:26:33,465 --> 00:26:35,664
You look very pretty today.
642
00:26:35,665 --> 00:26:38,497
I think you shouldn't say
that to your co-worker.
643
00:26:38,498 --> 00:26:39,997
Why not?
644
00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:41,297
It's kind of creepy.
645
00:26:41,298 --> 00:26:42,664
I'm not groping you, okay.
646
00:26:42,665 --> 00:26:44,531
I'm just paying you
a complement.
647
00:26:44,532 --> 00:26:47,531
Yeah, but you know how
serious they are here
648
00:26:47,532 --> 00:26:49,731
about sexual harassment.
649
00:26:49,732 --> 00:26:51,464
If you said I was handsome,
650
00:26:51,465 --> 00:26:53,564
I wouldn't freaked out
about that.
651
00:26:53,565 --> 00:26:55,364
Look, I have to go
finish my work.
652
00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:57,130
Why?
You're always working so hard.
653
00:26:57,131 --> 00:26:58,731
Why are you constantly working?
654
00:26:58,732 --> 00:27:01,164
We have a huge
meeting tomorrow,
655
00:27:01,165 --> 00:27:04,064
and I have to finish
my spreadsheets.
656
00:27:04,065 --> 00:27:06,064
Don't you hate this job?
657
00:27:06,065 --> 00:27:07,731
- No.
- Really?
658
00:27:07,732 --> 00:27:09,331
It seems like there's
more to life
659
00:27:09,332 --> 00:27:12,631
than being some cog in
a money-making machine.
660
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,364
I like making money.
661
00:27:15,365 --> 00:27:18,131
Yeah, but don't you just feel
like we're all just characters
662
00:27:18,132 --> 00:27:19,997
in a Dilbert cartoon?
663
00:27:19,998 --> 00:27:21,731
I don't know that cartoon.
664
00:27:21,732 --> 00:27:24,431
Wouldn't you rather be
a character in a movie,
665
00:27:24,432 --> 00:27:27,564
like "Deep Throat"
or something like that?
666
00:27:27,565 --> 00:27:30,431
Did you not hear
everything I just said
667
00:27:30,432 --> 00:27:32,431
about sexual harassment?
668
00:27:32,432 --> 00:27:34,164
Okay, I'm not meaning
it as sexual harassment.
669
00:27:34,165 --> 00:27:37,030
It's just a word, Penelope.
670
00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:39,551
Yeah, but it's a dirty word.
671
00:27:41,265 --> 00:27:44,224
Do you like dirty words?
672
00:27:45,232 --> 00:27:49,064
Not at work.
673
00:27:49,065 --> 00:27:52,197
You better finish
your spreadsheets.
674
00:27:55,232 --> 00:27:57,097
Oh yeah, I like it.
675
00:27:58,198 --> 00:28:01,431
No, I'm in here.
676
00:28:02,665 --> 00:28:05,764
Yeah, I'll be out
in a second, okay?
677
00:28:43,699 --> 00:28:44,997
Hey, what's up?
678
00:28:44,998 --> 00:28:46,564
Hi.
679
00:28:46,565 --> 00:28:49,197
May I join you?
680
00:28:49,198 --> 00:28:51,164
Sure.
681
00:28:51,165 --> 00:28:53,444
You're not going to mug me
or anything like that, are you?
682
00:28:55,031 --> 00:28:55,997
No.
683
00:28:55,998 --> 00:28:58,030
Have you ever been mugged?
684
00:28:58,031 --> 00:29:00,598
Well, I have this defense
mechanism that I use
685
00:29:00,599 --> 00:29:03,664
when I think there's a
dangerous situation.
686
00:29:03,665 --> 00:29:05,664
If I'm walking by two people
687
00:29:05,665 --> 00:29:08,297
or one person who might look
shady or dangerous,
688
00:29:08,298 --> 00:29:10,731
I'll start tweaking out
and saying gibberish,
689
00:29:10,732 --> 00:29:13,197
like I've got brain damage,
so they think I'm fucked up.
690
00:29:13,198 --> 00:29:15,431
So I'll say stuff like,
"I'll blow shit up,
691
00:29:15,432 --> 00:29:17,197
tomatoes, tomatoes,
momma didn't love me,
692
00:29:17,198 --> 00:29:18,164
give me my prosthetic leg,
693
00:29:18,165 --> 00:29:19,725
Charlie, bang-bang,
Charlie, bang-bang."
694
00:29:20,732 --> 00:29:23,631
It's... to freak them out,
you know what I mean,
695
00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:26,664
so they won't fuck with me.
696
00:29:26,665 --> 00:29:29,030
Oh yeah, that's funny.
697
00:29:29,031 --> 00:29:31,364
- It's pretty stupid.
- Does it work?
698
00:29:31,365 --> 00:29:32,598
I mean, it works.
699
00:29:32,599 --> 00:29:33,698
It's dumb I know,
700
00:29:33,699 --> 00:29:35,297
but I do it when I was scared
701
00:29:35,298 --> 00:29:36,664
and we do dumb things
when we're scared.
702
00:29:36,665 --> 00:29:38,197
We do dumb things
when we're scared.
703
00:29:38,198 --> 00:29:40,730
Every dumb political decision
we ever made
704
00:29:40,731 --> 00:29:41,964
was when we were scared.
705
00:29:41,965 --> 00:29:44,030
- Every dumb political
decision we ever made - Yeah.
706
00:29:44,031 --> 00:29:45,964
Was kinda... stupid so...
707
00:29:45,965 --> 00:29:47,404
Are you afraid of
anything right now?
708
00:29:48,632 --> 00:29:49,730
I am actually, yeah.
709
00:29:57,232 --> 00:29:58,471
God, you've got beautiful eyes.
710
00:29:59,698 --> 00:30:01,297
Thank you.
711
00:30:02,865 --> 00:30:05,024
I'm not trying to come on to
you or give you a hand job
712
00:30:05,998 --> 00:30:09,364
or anything like that. I'm
just saying, "Wow wee."
713
00:30:09,365 --> 00:30:11,631
Tell me about your fears.
714
00:30:16,165 --> 00:30:17,245
I think I'm losing my mind.
715
00:30:18,599 --> 00:30:20,030
Why?
716
00:30:22,031 --> 00:30:24,531
Because this city's insane.
717
00:30:24,532 --> 00:30:26,030
I'm insane.
718
00:30:26,031 --> 00:30:27,130
I don't know what I'm doing.
719
00:30:27,131 --> 00:30:28,364
I don't know where I'm going.
720
00:30:28,365 --> 00:30:30,763
I can't commit to
anyone or anything.
721
00:30:30,764 --> 00:30:33,030
I'm afraid someone's
going to blow up this city.
722
00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:36,064
I'm afraid of middle eastern
men wearing backpacks,
723
00:30:36,065 --> 00:30:37,464
even though I'm sometimes
a middle eastern man
724
00:30:37,465 --> 00:30:39,397
- who wears a backpack.
- Uh-huh.
725
00:30:39,398 --> 00:30:41,364
I'm afraid I'm unraveling.
726
00:30:41,365 --> 00:30:44,331
I'm afraid that my HPV is
going to lead to throat cancer.
727
00:30:44,332 --> 00:30:46,264
I'm afraid of Michael Douglas.
728
00:30:46,265 --> 00:30:48,564
Have you seen him lately?
729
00:30:48,565 --> 00:30:50,097
I'm afraid of everything!
730
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:52,364
Are you afraid to die?
731
00:30:52,365 --> 00:30:54,197
I'm terrified.
732
00:30:54,198 --> 00:30:56,397
Do you want to die?
733
00:30:56,398 --> 00:31:00,164
That's the thing, I don't
really care if I die or not.
734
00:31:00,165 --> 00:31:03,197
I think it would alleviate
a lot of responsibilities.
735
00:31:03,198 --> 00:31:05,598
What kind of responsibilities?
736
00:31:05,599 --> 00:31:08,598
You know, career,
making something of myself,
737
00:31:08,599 --> 00:31:10,297
starting a family.
738
00:31:10,298 --> 00:31:12,663
If I died I wouldn't
have to grow old,
739
00:31:12,664 --> 00:31:15,231
I wouldn't have to grow-up.
740
00:31:15,232 --> 00:31:17,297
Do you want to die?
741
00:31:17,298 --> 00:31:19,130
That's the thing,
I don't know...
742
00:31:19,131 --> 00:31:21,464
- Do you want to die?
- I don't care, I think..
743
00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,663
- Do you want to die?
- Yeah, I do want to die.
744
00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:25,231
You do want to die.
745
00:31:25,232 --> 00:31:26,231
I do.
746
00:32:32,992 --> 00:32:34,231
How long has he been like this?
747
00:32:34,232 --> 00:32:36,464
All day!
748
00:32:36,465 --> 00:32:37,997
Erik.
749
00:32:41,065 --> 00:32:42,630
Erik!
750
00:32:42,631 --> 00:32:43,790
Do I help you?
Can I know you?
751
00:32:45,631 --> 00:32:47,364
You missed the meeting.
752
00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:48,730
What meeting?
753
00:32:48,731 --> 00:32:50,164
There was a meeting
this morning.
754
00:32:50,165 --> 00:32:52,231
You missed it.
755
00:32:52,232 --> 00:32:55,097
I don't know about any meeting.
756
00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:57,663
Carl is fucking pissed.
757
00:32:57,664 --> 00:33:00,730
Well, Carl can kiss
my big red weenie
758
00:33:00,731 --> 00:33:03,197
until his lips are coated
with the sweat of my...
759
00:33:03,198 --> 00:33:05,630
Carl, what's up buddy?
We were just talking about you.
760
00:33:05,631 --> 00:33:06,864
The nicest, sweetest things
761
00:33:06,865 --> 00:33:10,397
about how exponentially great
you are for this company.
762
00:33:10,398 --> 00:33:11,763
You missed the meeting today.
763
00:33:11,764 --> 00:33:14,097
I know I missed the meeting.
764
00:33:14,098 --> 00:33:16,030
I missed meeting.
765
00:33:16,031 --> 00:33:18,270
I don't know what to tell you
but this should say it all.
766
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,197
I'm just kidding around.
767
00:33:22,198 --> 00:33:23,964
Look, here's the thing, I wasn't there
because I was trimming my pubic hair.
768
00:33:23,965 --> 00:33:25,364
The thing is I wasn't there
769
00:33:25,365 --> 00:33:27,697
because I had this thing
lodged in my asshole...
770
00:33:27,698 --> 00:33:30,697
What the fuck
is wrong with him?
771
00:33:30,698 --> 00:33:32,597
I have no idea.
772
00:33:32,598 --> 00:33:34,676
Would you get over to my
office for a minute, please?
773
00:33:35,265 --> 00:33:37,297
It sounds like
you're in big trouble.
774
00:33:38,731 --> 00:33:42,663
I'm in big trouble,
big trouble.
775
00:33:42,664 --> 00:33:43,697
Yeah, well, I've been to the
principal's office before. I can take it.
776
00:33:43,698 --> 00:33:46,164
Well, Erik it's going
to be sad to see you go.
777
00:33:46,165 --> 00:33:47,364
If this is the last time
I see you,
778
00:33:47,365 --> 00:33:48,763
I want to wish you
the best of luck.
779
00:33:48,764 --> 00:33:50,630
And if you decide to come
back here in a few hours
780
00:33:50,631 --> 00:33:52,064
with a loaded shotgun,
781
00:33:52,065 --> 00:33:54,364
just remember,
I was always here to help.
782
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,597
Okay?
Have a great day!
783
00:34:01,098 --> 00:34:02,830
Penelope,
can I ask you a question?
784
00:34:02,831 --> 00:34:03,663
Hmm?
785
00:34:03,664 --> 00:34:06,364
Has Carl ever touched you
786
00:34:06,365 --> 00:34:08,297
- physically or inappropriately?
- No!
787
00:34:08,298 --> 00:34:10,197
- Are you sure?
- Yeah!
788
00:34:10,198 --> 00:34:13,264
Okay, if I accused him of
sexually assaulting you,
789
00:34:13,265 --> 00:34:14,630
would you back me up on that?
790
00:34:14,631 --> 00:34:16,164
No!
791
00:34:16,165 --> 00:34:18,197
There'd be a big payday,
a big payout for you.
792
00:34:18,198 --> 00:34:19,563
- It would be good money.
- No.
793
00:34:19,564 --> 00:34:21,064
- Are you sure?
- No.
794
00:34:21,065 --> 00:34:23,663
Okay, if I accused him
of sexually assaulting me,
795
00:34:23,664 --> 00:34:25,030
would you back me up on that?
796
00:34:25,031 --> 00:34:26,563
No!
797
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,197
Alright.
798
00:34:28,198 --> 00:34:31,530
Well, if I get terminated,
will you miss me?
799
00:34:31,531 --> 00:34:33,297
Maybe a little.
800
00:34:35,131 --> 00:34:36,563
Thank you.
801
00:34:38,365 --> 00:34:40,630
Have you looked at yourself
in the mirror today?
802
00:34:41,898 --> 00:34:43,763
I'm not a vain person Carl,
803
00:34:43,764 --> 00:34:45,364
so I don't do that
kind of thing.
804
00:34:45,365 --> 00:34:46,630
So, no.
805
00:34:46,631 --> 00:34:49,730
Well you look like Godzilla
used your shirt as a maxi pad.
806
00:34:49,731 --> 00:34:55,364
Okay, that's all well and good
807
00:34:52,365 --> 00:34:54,880
but I'm pretty sure saying
the word "maxi pad"
808
00:34:54,906 --> 00:34:56,364
in front of an employee
is sexual harassment.
809
00:34:56,365 --> 00:34:57,364
So you're fucked.
810
00:34:57,365 --> 00:35:00,197
Just do me a favor.
Pack your shit and go.
811
00:35:00,198 --> 00:35:01,364
You firing me right now
812
00:35:01,365 --> 00:35:03,197
is the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
813
00:35:03,198 --> 00:35:05,730
Profits, money, spreadsheets.
814
00:35:05,731 --> 00:35:08,164
I've got your fucking
spreadsheet right here.
815
00:35:08,165 --> 00:35:09,530
You want to see a spreadsheet?
816
00:35:09,531 --> 00:35:13,231
Let me show you a
fucking spreadsheet.
817
00:35:17,397 --> 00:35:19,530
Here's your fucking
spreadsheet, right here.
818
00:35:19,531 --> 00:35:21,730
Chew on that.
819
00:37:10,364 --> 00:37:13,296
Hey, excuse me.
Hey, excuse me.
820
00:37:13,297 --> 00:37:15,016
Can I buy a cigarette
from you for a dollar?
821
00:37:17,165 --> 00:37:19,296
I have a dollar in my pocket.
822
00:37:19,297 --> 00:37:20,663
You can just have it.
823
00:37:20,664 --> 00:37:22,463
Oh, you're very nice.
824
00:37:25,564 --> 00:37:27,097
All right?
825
00:37:27,098 --> 00:37:28,197
Oh, god.
This is terrible.
826
00:37:30,131 --> 00:37:32,164
Why do you smoke these things?
827
00:37:32,165 --> 00:37:33,530
Oh.
828
00:37:33,531 --> 00:37:35,231
Oh my God!
829
00:37:35,232 --> 00:37:37,396
I've got to go, man.
830
00:37:37,397 --> 00:37:40,130
Hold on a second,
wait a minute. Do you have a Tums?
831
00:37:40,131 --> 00:37:41,427
Man, my stomach is killing me.
Do you have a...
832
00:37:41,453 --> 00:37:42,697
No, I don't, man. Sorry,
my family is waiting.
833
00:37:42,698 --> 00:37:45,030
- You've got a family?
- Yeah.
834
00:37:45,031 --> 00:37:46,263
Is it a nice, good family?
835
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,130
Goodbye!
836
00:37:47,131 --> 00:37:49,363
Like the Manson family,
good family?
837
00:37:49,364 --> 00:37:52,064
Oh God...
838
00:38:08,364 --> 00:38:09,730
Ow.
Oh God.
839
00:38:09,731 --> 00:38:10,430
Are you all right?
840
00:38:10,431 --> 00:38:12,164
Oh no, I'm not.
841
00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:13,443
My stomach is
fucking killing me.
842
00:38:15,564 --> 00:38:16,630
Oh.
843
00:38:16,631 --> 00:38:18,296
You should go get it
checked out or something.
844
00:38:18,297 --> 00:38:20,730
No shit. Yeah, I should go
to a doctor probably.
845
00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:24,430
Yeah, it could be like,
stomach cancer.
846
00:38:24,431 --> 00:38:26,363
You've got a lot of nerve
talking about cancer,
847
00:38:26,364 --> 00:38:28,964
while you're
smoking a cigarette.
848
00:38:28,965 --> 00:38:30,697
It's not a cigarette.
849
00:38:30,698 --> 00:38:31,663
Weed,
850
00:38:31,664 --> 00:38:33,463
the shit they give you
if you have cancer
851
00:38:33,464 --> 00:38:35,630
to ease all the pain.
852
00:38:35,631 --> 00:38:37,330
You want some?
853
00:38:37,331 --> 00:38:38,663
- No.
- No?
854
00:38:38,664 --> 00:38:41,196
But your neck....
855
00:38:41,197 --> 00:38:43,697
I wouldn't mind
having a bite out of that.
856
00:38:43,698 --> 00:38:45,563
Have you been doing some
bath salts or something, buddy?
857
00:38:45,564 --> 00:38:47,597
No, I just want a
little bit of that.
858
00:38:47,598 --> 00:38:49,077
Wait a second.
Can I ask you question?
859
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:54,263
Can I ask you a question?
860
00:38:54,264 --> 00:38:56,730
Hey, don't...
Come back here.
861
00:39:12,397 --> 00:39:13,964
Oh God that's...
That's delicious.
862
00:39:16,297 --> 00:39:17,230
I'm sorry.
863
00:39:18,698 --> 00:39:19,197
I'm sorry.
864
00:39:20,297 --> 00:39:22,064
I'm sorry about that.
865
00:39:22,065 --> 00:39:23,144
I'm sorry but it's so good.
866
00:39:25,965 --> 00:39:27,243
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
867
00:39:30,197 --> 00:39:30,830
I'm sorry.
868
00:39:32,098 --> 00:39:34,563
You look like
such a nice boy too.
869
00:39:38,631 --> 00:39:40,697
Were you a student?
870
00:39:40,698 --> 00:39:42,064
Yeah, what did you study?
871
00:39:43,431 --> 00:39:45,530
I didn't stay in school.
872
00:39:47,124 --> 00:39:48,163
You didn't stay in school?
873
00:39:48,164 --> 00:39:50,363
- I didn't finish.
- You didn't finish?
874
00:39:50,364 --> 00:39:50,864
No!
875
00:39:55,464 --> 00:40:03,456
That's what you get for
not getting your education.
876
00:40:51,257 --> 00:40:52,496
Thanks for agreeing
to come back
877
00:40:52,497 --> 00:40:53,964
and have dinner with me again.
878
00:40:53,965 --> 00:40:56,463
I appreciate that, thanks.
879
00:40:56,464 --> 00:40:57,784
Yeah, I believe
in second changes.
880
00:41:00,531 --> 00:41:02,597
Yeah, there's so much
bleakness in the world,
881
00:41:02,598 --> 00:41:03,964
so much tragedy.
882
00:41:03,965 --> 00:41:05,230
No, I totally understand.
883
00:41:05,231 --> 00:41:07,463
There's a lot to be
depressed about.
884
00:41:07,464 --> 00:41:10,029
It was getting to me
but I think I'm over it now.
885
00:41:10,030 --> 00:41:12,229
You know, I wanted to show
you that I'm a decent person,
886
00:41:14,631 --> 00:41:16,463
I think, in a lot of ways.
887
00:41:16,464 --> 00:41:18,296
- This is who you really are.
- This is who I am.
888
00:41:18,297 --> 00:41:20,029
Yeah, so...
889
00:41:20,030 --> 00:41:22,108
You seem like a good guy.
I knew you were a good guy.
890
00:41:24,297 --> 00:41:25,597
I'm all right.
891
00:41:25,598 --> 00:41:28,730
You know, I feel
pretty strong these days.
892
00:41:28,731 --> 00:41:30,530
Yeah, absolutely.
893
00:41:30,531 --> 00:41:34,129
Hey, you sure you don't
want anything to eat?
894
00:41:34,130 --> 00:41:36,496
No, I'll have something later.
895
00:41:40,397 --> 00:41:42,196
Oh God.
896
00:41:42,197 --> 00:41:43,396
Yeah.
897
00:41:43,397 --> 00:41:45,763
Oh, Oh.
898
00:42:04,631 --> 00:42:07,630
What did you do to me?
899
00:42:07,631 --> 00:42:09,530
That felt so good.
900
00:42:09,531 --> 00:42:12,697
Yeah, it did. Oh man.
901
00:42:12,698 --> 00:42:14,029
You want to do it again?
902
00:42:14,030 --> 00:42:15,630
- Yes!
- Yeah.
903
00:42:23,698 --> 00:42:26,263
Listen to me for a second.
904
00:42:26,264 --> 00:42:28,096
I can fuck.
905
00:42:28,097 --> 00:42:29,496
I really can.
I... like, I can fuck.
906
00:42:31,297 --> 00:42:33,296
Sure you can.
907
00:42:33,297 --> 00:42:36,063
Listen, I was having a bad
night last time.
908
00:42:36,064 --> 00:42:37,496
I strained my back
909
00:42:37,497 --> 00:42:40,363
and I just had some personal
issues to deal with.
910
00:42:40,364 --> 00:42:43,563
But now, I'm like Zeus, Adonis,
911
00:42:43,564 --> 00:42:45,642
God, Greek gods, you know
whatever the God of Sex is,
912
00:42:47,531 --> 00:42:48,797
God of Sex.
God of Sex.
913
00:42:50,631 --> 00:42:52,330
You are exactly the same.
914
00:42:55,531 --> 00:42:56,463
I mean, exactly.
915
00:42:56,464 --> 00:42:59,029
You brought me to
the same restaurant.
916
00:42:59,030 --> 00:43:00,330
How lame is that?
917
00:43:00,331 --> 00:43:03,163
And it's completely dead.
918
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:05,082
And you're not even drinking.
I'm drinking alone.
919
00:43:07,331 --> 00:43:12,530
I'll have a drink later
after I show you a thing or two.
920
00:43:22,264 --> 00:43:24,330
Uh... that was incredible.
921
00:43:30,364 --> 00:43:32,363
Yeah, it's amazing
what you can do with
922
00:43:32,364 --> 00:43:33,763
a five and half inch dick.
923
00:43:34,497 --> 00:43:37,163
It, it's... uh-huh.
924
00:43:40,231 --> 00:43:42,430
I told you it would get better.
925
00:43:42,431 --> 00:43:43,390
I...did not expect that.
926
00:43:47,464 --> 00:43:49,430
Yeah, right.
927
00:43:49,431 --> 00:43:51,530
You want to go again?
928
00:43:51,531 --> 00:43:52,630
Can you?
929
00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:55,396
Yes, sure, of course.
Absolutely!
930
00:43:55,397 --> 00:43:57,196
Hey, you want to try
something a little crazy?
931
00:43:59,731 --> 00:44:02,063
Sure, what is it?
What do you want to do?
932
00:44:02,064 --> 00:44:03,463
Have you ever choked anyone?
933
00:44:06,997 --> 00:44:08,963
No.
Like, during sex?
934
00:44:08,964 --> 00:44:09,830
- Yeah.
- Really?
935
00:44:09,831 --> 00:44:11,730
No, I've never done that before.
936
00:44:11,731 --> 00:44:13,649
I like feeling pressure
on my neck while we fuck.
937
00:44:15,531 --> 00:44:17,196
Really?
938
00:44:17,197 --> 00:44:20,363
Do you actually want to try
something crazier than that?
939
00:44:20,364 --> 00:44:22,196
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
940
00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:42,330
You're not eating?
941
00:44:42,331 --> 00:44:43,663
No.
942
00:44:43,664 --> 00:44:45,430
Are you on a diet or something?
943
00:44:45,431 --> 00:44:45,930
No.
944
00:44:48,347 --> 00:44:50,705
- Do you think I should be on a
diet or something like that?
945
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:51,996
- I don't know. - Is that what
you're saying? - I don't know.
946
00:44:51,997 --> 00:44:53,797
I like that. I like that
you're like, "I don't know."
947
00:44:53,798 --> 00:44:55,563
Most people are like,
"No, you're fine.
948
00:44:55,564 --> 00:44:58,597
Your body's fine,"
but like, "I don't know."
949
00:44:58,598 --> 00:45:01,296
Well, you called me fat,
last time!
950
00:45:01,297 --> 00:45:02,996
- Did I?
- More or less.
951
00:45:02,997 --> 00:45:04,530
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
952
00:45:04,531 --> 00:45:05,730
I apologize.
953
00:45:05,731 --> 00:45:07,496
I was rude.
954
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:10,263
Yeah, well, you're
doing better tonight.
955
00:45:10,264 --> 00:45:13,230
Yeah, that's cool.
956
00:45:17,997 --> 00:45:19,463
Ooh, baby.
957
00:45:19,464 --> 00:45:21,230
Oh my God.
958
00:45:27,064 --> 00:45:28,103
Oh my God, that was great.
959
00:45:31,264 --> 00:45:34,296
Oh shit!
960
00:45:42,631 --> 00:45:45,296
It's a beautiful day.
961
00:45:45,297 --> 00:45:46,263
What are you doing?
Stop it!
962
00:45:46,264 --> 00:45:47,430
What are you doing?
963
00:45:47,431 --> 00:45:49,563
Put it back up!
What are you doing?
964
00:45:49,564 --> 00:45:51,563
- Put the curtain back up!
- All right, all right.
965
00:45:51,564 --> 00:45:53,496
Put them up!
966
00:45:53,497 --> 00:45:54,630
- Put it up!
- Okay.
967
00:45:54,631 --> 00:45:57,063
- Put it back up!
- Okay. I'm trying.
968
00:45:57,064 --> 00:45:58,996
Put it up!
969
00:45:58,997 --> 00:46:00,396
- Put it up!
- I am.
970
00:46:00,397 --> 00:46:02,463
Put it up!
I'm burning!
971
00:46:02,464 --> 00:46:05,196
I feel like my skin is
melting off my dick!
972
00:46:05,197 --> 00:46:06,663
- I'm getting out of here.
- What are you doing?
973
00:46:06,664 --> 00:46:08,196
- Put it up!
- You're scaring me!
974
00:46:08,197 --> 00:46:10,096
- What are you doing?
- I've got to go to work!
975
00:46:10,097 --> 00:46:11,729
No, look!
976
00:46:11,730 --> 00:46:13,296
No, wait! Hold on.
977
00:46:13,297 --> 00:46:14,630
Wait a second.
978
00:46:14,631 --> 00:46:15,796
Stop, just don't go.
979
00:46:15,797 --> 00:46:17,996
I've got to go to work.
Don't you have to go to work?
980
00:46:17,997 --> 00:46:19,096
Look, I'm sorry.
981
00:46:19,097 --> 00:46:21,630
Look, okay, don't go.
Look, I'm sorry.
982
00:46:21,631 --> 00:46:23,296
Stay please.
Cuddle with me, please.
983
00:46:23,297 --> 00:46:24,630
I hope you didn't
give me anything,
984
00:46:24,631 --> 00:46:26,463
because we didn't use
a condom last night.
985
00:46:26,464 --> 00:46:28,582
Okay, there is one thing maybe,
one little tiny thing.
986
00:46:31,164 --> 00:46:34,330
You may feel the urge
to bite someone later,
987
00:46:34,331 --> 00:46:36,296
and draw blood, maybe.
988
00:46:36,297 --> 00:46:38,029
But if you do,
just kind of go with it, okay.
989
00:46:38,030 --> 00:46:40,263
You are really weird.
990
00:46:40,264 --> 00:46:42,563
I don't know where you work.
991
00:46:42,564 --> 00:46:44,530
I work at Chase Manhattan bank.
Where's my purse?
992
00:46:44,531 --> 00:46:47,296
Okay, well you might want to see
if they'll let you work nights.
993
00:46:47,297 --> 00:46:48,597
Yeah, right.
994
00:46:48,598 --> 00:46:51,263
I'm not kidding.
I'm dead serious here.
995
00:46:51,264 --> 00:46:52,696
- I've got to go.
- Okay, I'll see you later.
996
00:46:52,697 --> 00:46:53,996
Bye-bye
997
00:46:59,564 --> 00:47:01,129
Thank you.
998
00:47:08,197 --> 00:47:10,263
Mr. Sparrow, it's Leiberman.
999
00:47:10,264 --> 00:47:11,463
Who?
1000
00:47:11,464 --> 00:47:13,396
Leiberman, your landlord.
1001
00:47:13,397 --> 00:47:14,563
Mr. Leiberman?
1002
00:47:14,564 --> 00:47:15,963
Mr. Leiberman, yes.
1003
00:47:15,964 --> 00:47:17,729
Mr. Leiberman,
can you come back tonight?
1004
00:47:17,730 --> 00:47:19,630
No, I need to talk to you now,
please, Mr. Sparrow.
1005
00:47:19,631 --> 00:47:21,463
Come back tonight,
Mr. Leiberman!
1006
00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:24,563
Mr. Sparrow, need to talk
to you now, please.
1007
00:47:24,564 --> 00:47:25,729
Can you come back tonight?
1008
00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:27,263
Please come to the door,
Mr. Sparrow.
1009
00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:28,630
Please come back tonight!
1010
00:47:28,631 --> 00:47:30,696
I need to collect the rent,
Mr. Sparrow.
1011
00:47:30,697 --> 00:47:32,296
Goddamnit!
1012
00:47:32,297 --> 00:47:34,330
Oh fuck!
1013
00:47:37,431 --> 00:47:38,396
What is it?
1014
00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:40,696
I need to collect the rent,
Mr. Sparrow.
1015
00:47:40,697 --> 00:47:44,530
What rent?
What are you talking about?
1016
00:47:44,531 --> 00:47:47,563
The rent, Mr. Sparrow. Your rent,
it's very late. It's the first time.
1017
00:47:47,564 --> 00:47:49,563
We haven't had this problem before,
but I need to collect the rent.
1018
00:47:49,564 --> 00:47:51,363
Okay, give me a second, okay.
1019
00:47:51,364 --> 00:47:52,597
- Okay.
- Okay, just hold on!
1020
00:47:52,598 --> 00:47:53,762
Goddamnit!
1021
00:47:53,763 --> 00:47:55,029
Fuck!
Oh God, its hot as shit!
1022
00:47:58,297 --> 00:48:00,029
It burns!
1023
00:48:05,030 --> 00:48:06,189
Global warming fucking sucks!
1024
00:48:07,997 --> 00:48:09,430
Come back tomorrow,
Mr. Leiberman!!!
1025
00:48:11,364 --> 00:48:15,430
Mr. Sparrow, I need to
talk to you right now!
1026
00:48:15,431 --> 00:48:19,196
I know, the rent, it can
wait one more 24-hour period!
1027
00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:21,629
I'll put five percent
on it extra, fuck!
1028
00:48:21,630 --> 00:48:24,396
Mr. Sparrow,
please open the door!
1029
00:48:24,397 --> 00:48:26,296
We need to talk now,
Mr. Sparrow!
1030
00:48:26,297 --> 00:48:29,296
Okay, I'm coming!
1031
00:48:30,630 --> 00:48:32,696
God, rent, money!
1032
00:48:35,498 --> 00:48:36,337
It's all about money!
1033
00:48:39,231 --> 00:48:41,029
Fuck!
1034
00:48:45,730 --> 00:48:47,629
This door knob needs to be
fixed, Mr. Leiberman.
1035
00:48:47,630 --> 00:48:48,530
I haven't said
anything about it
1036
00:48:48,531 --> 00:48:51,662
because I didn't want
to trouble you.
1037
00:48:51,663 --> 00:48:53,829
Come here, come here. I want
you to look at me for second
1038
00:48:53,830 --> 00:48:55,530
so we can talk about the rent,
1039
00:48:55,531 --> 00:48:57,263
because that's why you're here,
to talk about the rent.
1040
00:48:57,264 --> 00:49:01,029
- Ok, I understand.
- Yes.
1041
00:49:01,030 --> 00:49:02,463
I need to collect the rent,
Mr. Sparrow. Yes, yes.
1042
00:49:02,464 --> 00:49:04,296
Oh that.
Yeah, don't worry about that.
1043
00:49:04,297 --> 00:49:06,063
I have really bad back acne,
1044
00:49:06,064 --> 00:49:07,996
so when I lie down
to go to sleep,
1045
00:49:07,997 --> 00:49:08,729
it's like bubble wrap.
1046
00:49:08,730 --> 00:49:13,029
It's like, "Pop, pop!"
1047
00:49:13,030 --> 00:49:14,230
Instead of the bubbles being filled with
air, they're filled with blood and pus.
1048
00:49:14,231 --> 00:49:16,029
But that's not what
you want to talk about.
1049
00:49:16,030 --> 00:49:18,396
- You want to talk about the rent and
I'm okay with that. - It's the rent.
1050
00:49:18,397 --> 00:49:20,463
I'm very concerned, Mr. Sparrow.
- I know you're concerned,
1051
00:49:20,464 --> 00:49:22,396
but look at me very carefully
right now as I tell you this.
1052
00:49:22,397 --> 00:49:23,662
Right now, because...
No, no, look at me.
1053
00:49:23,663 --> 00:49:25,129
There is no rent, right.
1054
00:49:25,130 --> 00:49:26,029
There's not going
to be any rent.
1055
00:49:26,030 --> 00:49:28,029
The rent does not exist.
1056
00:49:28,030 --> 00:49:30,029
I don't understand.
1057
00:49:30,030 --> 00:49:32,296
Okay, look at me for a second.
1058
00:49:32,297 --> 00:49:34,363
We live in a venal world,
I understand that.
1059
00:49:34,364 --> 00:49:36,396
It's a world were people
like me judge people like you,
1060
00:49:36,397 --> 00:49:38,296
for being the way that you are
and looking the way that you do
1061
00:49:38,297 --> 00:49:40,330
and believing the things
that you believe.
1062
00:49:40,331 --> 00:49:41,662
- It's okay.
- I don't understand.
1063
00:49:41,663 --> 00:49:43,629
I'm talking about
judgment here, okay.
1064
00:49:43,630 --> 00:49:45,463
I judge you, you judge me.
1065
00:49:45,464 --> 00:49:47,596
I will never judge you,
Mr. Sparrow,
1066
00:49:47,597 --> 00:49:49,163
as long as you pay the rent.
1067
00:49:49,164 --> 00:49:51,096
Yeah, I know because
you've got to pay your bills.
1068
00:49:51,097 --> 00:49:52,296
I'm sure you do.
1069
00:49:52,297 --> 00:49:55,163
But you could take care of
your family without my rent.
1070
00:49:55,164 --> 00:49:56,662
Don't you think
you could do that?
1071
00:49:56,663 --> 00:49:58,497
How many children do you have?
1072
00:49:58,498 --> 00:50:01,996
Twelve!
1073
00:50:01,997 --> 00:50:02,996
Twelve children, wow. You have some virile
sperm. - Yes. - I've got chunky semen.
1074
00:50:02,997 --> 00:50:06,196
You know,
with a family that big,
1075
00:50:06,197 --> 00:50:08,096
you could probably
start an army.
1076
00:50:08,097 --> 00:50:10,263
You could probably take over North
Korea or something like that.
1077
00:50:10,264 --> 00:50:11,929
You could probably take over all
the real estate in North Korea.
1078
00:50:11,930 --> 00:50:13,729
I am not interested
in North Korea.
1079
00:50:13,730 --> 00:50:16,196
I am only interested
in my properties
1080
00:50:16,197 --> 00:50:18,662
here in Bushwick, Mr. Sparrow.
1081
00:50:18,663 --> 00:50:21,562
I need to collect the rent!
1082
00:50:21,563 --> 00:50:23,442
Okay, I understand,
now you understand me, okay.
1083
00:50:26,264 --> 00:50:27,996
There is no rent.
1084
00:50:27,997 --> 00:50:29,729
You're not charging me
anymore rent,
1085
00:50:29,730 --> 00:50:31,629
and I'm not paying
anymore rent.
1086
00:50:31,630 --> 00:50:34,330
You understand what I'm
telling you, Mr. Leiberman?
1087
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:37,562
I do, Mr. Sparrow.
1088
00:50:37,563 --> 00:50:38,729
Very good, very good.
1089
00:50:38,730 --> 00:50:41,363
And you're okay with what
I'm saying, Mr. Leiberman?
1090
00:50:41,364 --> 00:50:42,923
I can't believe
I'm saying this but yes,
1091
00:50:45,997 --> 00:50:49,163
I am, Mr. Sparrow.
1092
00:50:49,164 --> 00:50:51,363
Terrific, that's great!
That's awesome.
1093
00:50:51,364 --> 00:50:54,029
What a great understanding.
That's terrific.
1094
00:50:54,030 --> 00:50:55,462
Okay, now that we have
all that figured out,
1095
00:50:55,463 --> 00:50:57,430
let me escort you out
of the building.
1096
00:50:57,431 --> 00:51:00,096
How do you say
"Good day" in Yiddish?
1097
00:51:00,097 --> 00:51:01,263
"Good Day."
1098
00:51:01,264 --> 00:51:02,430
Well, if I could
pronounce that, I would,
1099
00:51:02,431 --> 00:51:04,629
but I can't, but have
a nice day regardless.
1100
00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:06,662
And say hello
to your twelve children
1101
00:51:06,663 --> 00:51:09,163
and your wife who I'm sure
is very, very tired.
1102
00:51:09,164 --> 00:51:11,330
So have a good day.
Thank you very much!
1103
00:52:03,630 --> 00:52:06,068
You know, my ex-girlfriend Jody
and I use to argue about this.
1104
00:52:07,997 --> 00:52:10,263
I use to have this fantasy,
this exact thing,
1105
00:52:10,264 --> 00:52:13,363
where I would be in bed
with three beautiful women,
1106
00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:15,629
and she thought it was
really misogynistic.
1107
00:52:15,630 --> 00:52:17,096
So we use to argue about it,
1108
00:52:17,097 --> 00:52:19,996
but this isn't misogynistic.
1109
00:52:19,997 --> 00:52:22,496
Misogyny means to hate women.
1110
00:52:22,497 --> 00:52:24,562
I'm loving on three women.
1111
00:52:24,563 --> 00:52:25,962
So I never understood
that argument.
1112
00:52:29,363 --> 00:52:31,163
Anyway, let's get it on again.
1113
00:52:31,164 --> 00:52:33,496
I think that would be
a good idea.
1114
00:52:33,497 --> 00:52:34,330
Sure.
1115
00:52:34,331 --> 00:52:35,629
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1116
00:52:35,630 --> 00:52:38,496
Let's try something different.
I got a couple of ideas in mind.
1117
00:52:38,497 --> 00:52:42,395
Like what?
1118
00:52:42,396 --> 00:52:43,961
I was thinking you,
Blake, could lie on your
1119
00:52:43,987 --> 00:52:45,629
back and Denise, you could
sit on Blake's face.
1120
00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:48,096
Samantha you could
go down on Blake
1121
00:52:48,097 --> 00:52:50,963
and I would take you
from behind.
1122
00:52:50,964 --> 00:52:54,029
That does sound
a bit misogynistic.
1123
00:52:54,030 --> 00:52:55,496
You think so?
1124
00:52:55,497 --> 00:52:57,696
Yeah, it just feels like
you're using us as sex objects.
1125
00:52:59,097 --> 00:53:03,029
No, no, no.
1126
00:53:03,030 --> 00:53:05,529
We'd all be connected, that's the point.
Right, but you're giving everyone orders.
1127
00:53:05,530 --> 00:53:06,762
No.
1128
00:53:06,763 --> 00:53:08,596
I'm offering suggestions,
I'm not...
1129
00:53:08,597 --> 00:53:10,029
You're exploiting us.
1130
00:53:10,030 --> 00:53:12,629
I'm not exploiting you all.
1131
00:53:12,630 --> 00:53:13,909
What was your
ex-girlfriend like?
1132
00:53:16,297 --> 00:53:17,496
What's that?
1133
00:53:17,497 --> 00:53:19,629
Your ex-girlfriend.
1134
00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:21,263
Jody?
1135
00:53:21,264 --> 00:53:22,462
Yeah.
1136
00:53:22,463 --> 00:53:24,362
She was....she was great.
1137
00:53:24,363 --> 00:53:28,096
She was really smart
and independent,
1138
00:53:28,097 --> 00:53:30,375
and really creative sexually
and she was amazing actually.
1139
00:53:33,730 --> 00:53:35,696
So why'd you break-up?
1140
00:53:35,697 --> 00:53:37,662
Yeah, let's change
the subject, okay.
1141
00:53:37,663 --> 00:53:40,029
No, maybe you should call her.
1142
00:53:40,030 --> 00:53:42,163
No, let's not talk
about this anymore.
1143
00:53:42,164 --> 00:53:44,096
Let's try this instead.
1144
00:53:44,097 --> 00:53:45,429
I'll lie on my back.
1145
00:53:45,430 --> 00:53:48,762
Denise you sit on my face.
1146
00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:51,762
I figure Blake, I could prop
my legs up like this
1147
00:53:51,763 --> 00:53:53,562
and you could fist me,
1148
00:53:53,563 --> 00:53:56,362
and then that way
I'll be the object.
1149
00:53:56,363 --> 00:53:57,996
And then Samantha,
1150
00:53:57,997 --> 00:54:00,629
you could get a copy of um...
1151
00:54:00,630 --> 00:54:02,462
I've got a copy of
Ginsberg's Howl
1152
00:54:02,463 --> 00:54:03,662
on the bookshelf.
1153
00:54:03,663 --> 00:54:05,996
Maybe you could just read
that while we're doing that.
1154
00:54:05,997 --> 00:54:08,529
Okay.
1155
00:54:08,530 --> 00:54:10,429
He's a strange guy
but nice, right?
1156
00:54:10,430 --> 00:54:11,389
No, he's totally cool...
1157
00:54:12,563 --> 00:54:13,963
Erik.
1158
00:54:15,363 --> 00:54:16,429
Hey, baby.
1159
00:54:17,263 --> 00:54:18,362
Don't call me that.
1160
00:54:18,363 --> 00:54:19,529
I mean, hey, honey love.
1161
00:54:19,530 --> 00:54:22,329
What are you doing here?
1162
00:54:22,330 --> 00:54:23,562
I just came by here to get some more of
my stuff. You don't have anything here.
1163
00:54:23,563 --> 00:54:26,529
I'm pretty sure I left my
Culture Club record up there.
1164
00:54:26,530 --> 00:54:30,163
How you doing?
1165
00:54:30,164 --> 00:54:30,993
Great, man. Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
1166
00:54:31,019 --> 00:54:32,029
- It's been too long. You look handsome.
Did you get a facelift?
1167
00:54:32,030 --> 00:54:33,362
You look even more
handsome than before.
1168
00:54:33,363 --> 00:54:34,729
You look even
fatter than before.
1169
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:38,262
Well, the only reason I look
fatter is because your mom
1170
00:54:38,263 --> 00:54:41,163
had a liposuction and I ate
all the fat off her fat ass.
1171
00:54:41,164 --> 00:54:42,163
My mom's dead.
1172
00:54:42,164 --> 00:54:44,262
Hey listen,
that shirt looks really great.
1173
00:54:44,263 --> 00:54:45,217
Did you get that at
Abercrombie and Fitch
1174
00:54:45,243 --> 00:54:46,262
because fat people aren't
allow to wear them,
1175
00:54:46,263 --> 00:54:47,662
that's why I'm going to
burn them to the ground.
1176
00:54:47,663 --> 00:54:49,329
Okay. Erik, this is
totally inappropriate.
1177
00:54:49,330 --> 00:54:50,729
You need to leave now.
1178
00:54:50,730 --> 00:54:53,163
I think the appropriate
usage of that word is
1179
00:54:53,164 --> 00:54:55,529
"unappropriate", okay.
1180
00:54:55,530 --> 00:54:58,407
- Can I just talk to her alone, why
you go molest a child? - Actually no.
1181
00:55:00,396 --> 00:55:02,696
That's so funny,
such a comedian.
1182
00:55:02,697 --> 00:55:04,295
I see what you saw in him.
1183
00:55:04,296 --> 00:55:06,662
I saw a poster of your
face and a girl's vagina.
1184
00:55:06,663 --> 00:55:08,762
- Oh, really, I saw a poster....
- No, I didn't mean that.
1185
00:55:08,763 --> 00:55:10,562
It wasn't a girl's vagina,
it was a monkey's vagina.
1186
00:55:10,563 --> 00:55:12,462
Jerry Garcia, is that your
fucking name, reincarnated?
1187
00:55:12,463 --> 00:55:15,029
Jerry Garcia was a god
and you are an oddball,
1188
00:55:15,030 --> 00:55:17,229
okay and I will use a pool stick
and jam it right up your...
1189
00:55:17,230 --> 00:55:18,762
Okay, okay, what do you want?
1190
00:55:18,763 --> 00:55:20,562
I just want to go
to the bathroom, actually.
1191
00:55:20,563 --> 00:55:22,029
Can I pee?
I just have to pee.
1192
00:55:22,030 --> 00:55:23,696
There's a corner right there.
1193
00:55:23,697 --> 00:55:25,615
Can I use the bathroom?
I just have to pee, okay?
1194
00:55:27,891 --> 00:55:29,529
Then you'll never see me again,
I promise.
1195
00:55:29,530 --> 00:55:30,362
- You promise?
- No, no.
1196
00:55:30,363 --> 00:55:32,129
Yes!
1197
00:55:32,130 --> 00:55:33,587
- You promise you'll never,
ever contact me, ever again?
1198
00:55:33,613 --> 00:55:34,329
- You'll never see me again.
1199
00:55:34,330 --> 00:55:35,696
Only in your dreams
and your nightmares
1200
00:55:35,697 --> 00:55:37,696
will you guys ever
see me again, okay.
1201
00:55:37,697 --> 00:55:41,096
This is so....okay fine.
Just go.
1202
00:55:41,097 --> 00:55:43,295
- Thank you.
- No. After you.
1203
00:55:46,763 --> 00:55:48,162
Don't touch me.
1204
00:55:48,163 --> 00:55:50,096
All right.
We're cool.
1205
00:55:54,130 --> 00:55:55,029
What should we do?
1206
00:55:55,030 --> 00:55:56,262
Let's just wait.
1207
00:55:56,263 --> 00:55:57,362
What if he doesn't leave?
1208
00:55:57,363 --> 00:55:58,362
He'll leave.
He's harmless.
1209
00:55:58,363 --> 00:56:00,295
Do you want me to kick his ass?
1210
00:56:00,296 --> 00:56:02,429
I am harmless.
1211
00:56:02,430 --> 00:56:05,662
I was against the war in Iraq,
Afghanistan.
1212
00:56:05,663 --> 00:56:07,502
I believe in love,
just like that Beatles song.
1213
00:56:10,330 --> 00:56:12,368
You know who the Beatles
were don't you....butthole?
1214
00:56:14,263 --> 00:56:16,362
Yes, I know who the Beatles are.
1215
00:56:16,363 --> 00:56:19,429
Yeah, I bet you do.
1216
00:56:19,430 --> 00:56:21,262
I bet your musical tastes are really great.
You're probably the fan club president
1217
00:56:21,263 --> 00:56:22,496
of the Nickleback squad.
1218
00:56:22,497 --> 00:56:23,762
You've probably got a poster
1219
00:56:23,763 --> 00:56:25,762
of Justin Bieber
on your ceiling.
1220
00:56:25,763 --> 00:56:27,596
You've probably got a
Taylor Swift tattoo
1221
00:56:27,597 --> 00:56:29,429
on your testicles, don't you?
1222
00:56:29,430 --> 00:56:32,096
Look, I'm not judging you, man.
To each his own.
1223
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:33,629
Where's my Culture Club record?
1224
00:56:33,630 --> 00:56:35,963
Erik, you used the bathroom.
You should leave now.
1225
00:56:35,964 --> 00:56:39,128
Did you know that
she proposed to me?
1226
00:56:39,129 --> 00:56:40,162
No.
1227
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:42,042
Yep, she asked me to marry her.
That's who I am.
1228
00:56:44,296 --> 00:56:46,262
You need to leave,
like the lady said.
1229
00:56:46,263 --> 00:56:48,295
Well, you need to stop referring
to that lady as a lady.
1230
00:56:48,296 --> 00:56:49,629
That lady has a name.
1231
00:56:49,630 --> 00:56:51,063
Erik, just go.
1232
00:56:51,064 --> 00:56:52,423
Let me ask you a question,
Jay-Jay.
1233
00:56:53,463 --> 00:56:55,195
Dude, get out of my face.
1234
00:56:57,230 --> 00:56:58,629
Look at me.
Look at me for a second.
1235
00:56:58,630 --> 00:57:00,029
Jody, I'm going
to punch this guy.
1236
00:57:00,030 --> 00:57:02,063
Just look at me
in the eyes, okay.
1237
00:57:02,064 --> 00:57:04,062
You got thirty seconds to
get the fuck out of here!
1238
00:57:05,430 --> 00:57:07,996
Or what?
1239
00:57:07,997 --> 00:57:11,195
You're going to open
a can of whoop-ass? No, no.
1240
00:57:11,196 --> 00:57:12,530
I'm going to open a whole
six pack of whoop-ass.I'll
1241
00:57:12,556 --> 00:57:13,662
drink a six pack of
whoop-ass for breakfast.
1242
00:57:13,663 --> 00:57:15,162
In fact, I'll drink a keg.
1243
00:57:15,163 --> 00:57:18,462
In fact,
1244
00:57:18,463 --> 00:57:19,621
I was thinking of opening
up a brewery of whoop-ass.
1245
00:57:19,647 --> 00:57:20,429
Erik, what's going on?
Are you okay?
1246
00:57:20,430 --> 00:57:22,429
Listen to me, Jason.
1247
00:57:22,430 --> 00:57:24,362
Look me in the eyes
and do as I command.
1248
00:57:24,363 --> 00:57:25,462
Oh!
1249
00:57:25,463 --> 00:57:26,295
Fuck!
1250
00:57:26,296 --> 00:57:28,029
Jason.
1251
00:57:28,030 --> 00:57:29,195
Oh my God.
1252
00:57:29,196 --> 00:57:30,362
What the fuck was
I suppose to do?
1253
00:57:30,363 --> 00:57:31,662
You didn't have to hit him.
1254
00:57:31,663 --> 00:57:33,295
Oh God.
Come here. Let me see.
1255
00:57:33,296 --> 00:57:34,629
It hurts.
1256
00:57:34,630 --> 00:57:36,662
I think he
"septumated my devium."
1257
00:57:36,663 --> 00:57:38,462
Oh God, you're bleeding.
1258
00:57:38,463 --> 00:57:40,095
Yeah.
1259
00:57:40,096 --> 00:57:43,662
Erik.
What's happened to your eyes?
1260
00:57:43,663 --> 00:57:45,262
I'm blinded by your love.
1261
00:57:45,263 --> 00:57:47,029
Stop.
Why are you so ridiculous?
1262
00:57:47,029 --> 00:57:49,162
- Because I love you.
- Don't say that.
1263
00:57:49,163 --> 00:57:50,696
I do.
I'm sorry.
1264
00:57:50,697 --> 00:57:52,429
I need you.
1265
00:57:52,430 --> 00:57:54,529
Okay, okay.
I'm going to go get a washcloth.
1266
00:57:54,530 --> 00:57:58,095
I'm calling the cops.
1267
00:57:58,096 --> 00:57:59,271
You don't need to call the cops.
I told you he's harmless.
1268
00:57:59,297 --> 00:58:00,028
Harmless? Yeah,
jealous ex-boyfriend.
1269
00:58:00,029 --> 00:58:01,696
Have you seen Star Eighty?
1270
00:58:01,697 --> 00:58:03,028
Ow, Ow.
1271
00:58:04,296 --> 00:58:06,529
Get off of me.
1272
00:58:08,296 --> 00:58:09,529
- Erik!
- Fuck.
1273
00:58:09,530 --> 00:58:11,629
- Ow, ow.
- What the fuck just happened?
1274
00:58:11,630 --> 00:58:12,729
I'm sorry.
1275
00:58:12,730 --> 00:58:14,162
Did he bite you?
1276
00:58:14,163 --> 00:58:17,128
God, he fucking bit me.
1277
00:58:17,129 --> 00:58:18,696
Good-bye, Jody.
1278
00:58:18,697 --> 00:58:20,562
What? Jesus.
1279
00:58:20,563 --> 00:58:21,963
Okay, just stop it.
Stay still.
1280
00:58:21,964 --> 00:58:23,729
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
1281
00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:25,362
Just stop.
1282
00:58:25,363 --> 00:58:25,883
Oh God, fuck.
1283
00:58:29,892 --> 00:58:32,329
- Do something, make it better.
- Okay, okay. Just stay still.
1284
00:58:32,330 --> 00:58:33,963
Make it better, make it better,
make it better,
1285
00:58:33,964 --> 00:58:35,529
make it better, make it better.
1286
00:58:35,530 --> 00:58:37,596
- Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck...
- Shh.
1287
00:59:29,630 --> 00:59:31,262
Hey, Hey.
1288
00:59:31,263 --> 00:59:33,562
- What's going on?
- Oh, hey.
1289
00:59:33,563 --> 00:59:35,128
- Is that....
- How are you doing?
1290
00:59:35,129 --> 00:59:36,562
- It's you!
- Yeah!
1291
00:59:36,563 --> 00:59:38,562
- It's you!
- Hey, what are you doing?
1292
00:59:38,563 --> 00:59:40,629
Come on, get over here,
get in this.
1293
00:59:40,630 --> 00:59:42,496
What?
1294
00:59:42,497 --> 00:59:43,629
Try some of this right here, man.
Oh, I would love some, yeah.
1295
00:59:43,630 --> 00:59:45,028
Yeah, come on.
Get on in there.
1296
00:59:45,029 --> 00:59:46,696
- Oh, thank you.
- There you go.
1297
00:59:52,697 --> 00:59:54,195
It's so humid tonight.
1298
00:59:54,196 --> 00:59:55,762
Mm-hmm.
1299
00:59:59,730 --> 01:00:02,195
Global warming is
serious business.
1300
01:00:02,196 --> 01:00:04,554
People really need to take care
of the environment, I think.
1301
01:00:06,196 --> 01:00:07,496
Yeah,
1302
01:00:07,497 --> 01:00:10,429
I don't really think about the
environment so much, anymore.
1303
01:00:10,430 --> 01:00:13,429
I did a lot when I was younger,
but so much now, you know.
1304
01:00:13,430 --> 01:00:16,995
You want some more of this?
1305
01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:19,155
- Yeah, I'll take a little sip.
- Yeah, have some more.
1306
01:00:21,563 --> 01:00:23,696
It is hot though... hot as fuck!
1307
01:00:23,697 --> 01:00:25,229
Mm-hmm.
1308
01:00:25,230 --> 01:00:27,195
- Insane...
- Yeah.
1309
01:00:27,196 --> 01:00:28,095
Oh man.
1310
01:00:28,096 --> 01:00:29,429
I think I'm done with him.
1311
01:00:29,430 --> 01:00:31,562
Yeah me too, I think.
Yeah.
1312
01:00:36,063 --> 01:00:39,229
Do you want a bev nap?
1313
01:00:39,230 --> 01:00:40,529
- Oh, you've got a bev nap?
- Yeah.
1314
01:00:40,530 --> 01:00:42,729
Oh perfect.
1315
01:00:42,730 --> 01:00:44,448
I just keep them around,
in case. Oh, great.
1316
01:00:48,630 --> 01:00:50,395
Oh yeah.
1317
01:00:50,396 --> 01:00:52,362
- It's good.
- Mm-hmm.
1318
01:00:52,363 --> 01:00:54,095
- I ate earlier.
- Mm-hmm.
1319
01:00:54,096 --> 01:00:57,095
That was a nice little snack.
1320
01:00:57,096 --> 01:00:58,596
Very good.
1321
01:00:58,597 --> 01:00:59,162
Yeah, hmm.
1322
01:01:01,196 --> 01:01:03,195
Mm-hmm. Wow.
1323
01:01:05,296 --> 01:01:07,195
I got everything?
1324
01:01:08,730 --> 01:01:10,529
You got a little bit,
right there. So...
1325
01:01:17,396 --> 01:01:21,395
So, you think he's got a family?
1326
01:01:21,396 --> 01:01:24,262
I don't think about that
kind of stuff anymore, do you?
1327
01:01:24,263 --> 01:01:27,395
- I do actually....lately too,
more than ever. - Really?
1328
01:01:27,396 --> 01:01:30,028
So you still care a little bit?
1329
01:01:30,029 --> 01:01:32,229
Sure, yeah.
1330
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:35,496
Maybe we should go have
a little walk and talk.
1331
01:01:35,497 --> 01:01:37,496
Yeah, that would be great.
1332
01:01:42,096 --> 01:01:44,429
- Yep, John Lennon.
- Wow.
1333
01:01:44,430 --> 01:01:45,729
Ken Lay, yeah.
1334
01:01:45,730 --> 01:01:47,262
Amelia Earhart.
1335
01:01:47,263 --> 01:01:48,529
- Amelia Earhart? Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
1336
01:01:48,530 --> 01:01:50,128
What about Slobodan Milosevic?
1337
01:01:50,129 --> 01:01:53,496
Yep, he's not dead.
He's one of us.
1338
01:01:53,497 --> 01:01:56,262
I knew that fucker wasn't dead!
That sucks!
1339
01:01:56,263 --> 01:01:58,028
How about Pol Pot?
1340
01:01:58,029 --> 01:02:00,229
No, I think he's dead.
He's really dead.
1341
01:02:00,230 --> 01:02:01,462
That's a relief.
That's good.
1342
01:02:01,463 --> 01:02:03,095
How's John Lennon?
1343
01:02:03,096 --> 01:02:04,262
- Awesome.
- Is he awesome?
1344
01:02:04,263 --> 01:02:05,496
He's an awesome guy.
1345
01:02:05,497 --> 01:02:08,496
But Ken Lay is obviously,
a real dick.
1346
01:02:08,497 --> 01:02:09,928
- Oh I'm sure.
- He's a piece of shit.
1347
01:02:09,929 --> 01:02:12,367
Even though he comes to this...
We all get together at this...
1348
01:02:13,889 --> 01:02:15,729
Every five years there's
this big get together,
1349
01:02:15,730 --> 01:02:16,662
- it's beautiful,
- Uh-huh.
1350
01:02:16,663 --> 01:02:18,629
A big celebration,
everybody hangs out.
1351
01:02:18,630 --> 01:02:19,729
Ken Lay's there, he's a dick,
1352
01:02:19,730 --> 01:02:22,662
but Lennon is there
so it's cool.
1353
01:02:22,663 --> 01:02:24,629
Oh, yeah that would
be cool to meet him.
1354
01:02:24,630 --> 01:02:28,395
So you've got to come.
1355
01:02:28,396 --> 01:02:29,596
It's fun, you have to
come to this next one. I don't think so.
1356
01:02:29,597 --> 01:02:32,995
I think I'm kind of done
with all of this stuff.
1357
01:02:32,996 --> 01:02:34,429
What do you mean?
1358
01:02:34,430 --> 01:02:36,362
I'm just fed-up with it, fed up
with the whole thing.
1359
01:02:36,363 --> 01:02:38,529
You don't think it's better
now than it was before?
1360
01:02:38,530 --> 01:02:40,729
Look, I was selfish before,
but now it's out of control.
1361
01:02:43,096 --> 01:02:46,662
I think I want to start thinking
about other people, you know.
1362
01:02:46,663 --> 01:02:47,502
Maybe start a family?
1363
01:02:50,463 --> 01:02:51,662
It's hard to explain.
1364
01:02:51,663 --> 01:02:53,028
Yeah, it's hard to explain.
1365
01:02:53,029 --> 01:02:54,728
You know, you talk too much.
1366
01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:57,062
You've got to stop talking.
1367
01:02:57,063 --> 01:02:58,262
You know?
1368
01:02:58,263 --> 01:02:59,542
It's nice to be quiet sometimes.
1369
01:03:00,563 --> 01:03:01,761
Okay.
1370
01:03:09,330 --> 01:03:10,728
This is me here, my apartment.
1371
01:03:10,729 --> 01:03:12,728
Oh, you still live
in an apartment?
1372
01:03:12,729 --> 01:03:14,629
Yeah, what?
You have a house?
1373
01:03:14,630 --> 01:03:16,095
- Do you live in a house?
- No, no.
1374
01:03:16,096 --> 01:03:16,995
Where do you live?
1375
01:03:16,996 --> 01:03:18,395
Hotels mostly.
1376
01:03:18,396 --> 01:03:20,395
- Hotels?
- Yeah.
1377
01:03:20,396 --> 01:03:24,429
Do you want to come in?
1378
01:03:24,430 --> 01:03:25,617
Oh yeah, I would like to take
a shower if you don't mind.
1379
01:03:25,643 --> 01:03:26,395
- Oh sure, not a problem.
- Oh great.
1380
01:03:26,396 --> 01:03:27,995
Hey, do you really thing
I talk too much?
1381
01:03:28,563 --> 01:03:29,529
What?
1382
01:03:29,530 --> 01:03:32,262
Do you really think
I have a big mouth?
1383
01:03:35,663 --> 01:03:39,095
Yes, you do.
1384
01:03:39,096 --> 01:03:41,662
- Hey, will you do me a favor?
- Sure.
1385
01:03:41,663 --> 01:03:43,728
- Just wash my back.
- Wash your back?
1386
01:03:43,729 --> 01:03:45,195
Just wash my back.
1387
01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,128
There's a... just wash my back.
Come on.
1388
01:03:47,129 --> 01:03:50,295
There's a back washing
stick back there.
1389
01:03:50,296 --> 01:03:52,596
I know, but it's my shoulder.
1390
01:03:52,597 --> 01:03:55,661
I have a bad shoulder.
I can't get my arm around.
1391
01:03:55,662 --> 01:03:57,429
Just get in,
just stand right there.
1392
01:03:57,430 --> 01:03:59,062
Okay, okay.
1393
01:03:59,063 --> 01:04:00,695
Well, what am I suppose to do?
1394
01:04:00,696 --> 01:04:03,028
You've never washed
somebody's back?
1395
01:04:03,029 --> 01:04:04,529
Wash my back.
1396
01:04:04,530 --> 01:04:06,562
I'm not going to bite you.
1397
01:04:06,563 --> 01:04:08,529
That's funny, okay.
1398
01:04:08,530 --> 01:04:11,162
Go ahead.
There you go, yep.
1399
01:04:11,163 --> 01:04:12,995
So, you really want
to have a normal life,
1400
01:04:12,996 --> 01:04:16,028
just an average...
1401
01:04:16,029 --> 01:04:17,728
No, not an average life.
1402
01:04:17,729 --> 01:04:20,596
Wife, kids, picket fence,
two car garage, all that stuff?
1403
01:04:20,597 --> 01:04:24,028
Yeah, that sounds nice
1404
01:04:24,029 --> 01:04:25,295
but I don't want to be a bunch of
suburban zombies who watch TV all day.
1405
01:04:25,296 --> 01:04:27,295
I want to take the wife
and kids to Europe
1406
01:04:27,296 --> 01:04:29,462
and have adventures,
that kind of thing.
1407
01:04:29,463 --> 01:04:31,028
You think you're going to
be able to afford that?
1408
01:04:31,029 --> 01:04:32,262
You can afford that?
1409
01:04:32,263 --> 01:04:34,462
Not now, but I figure I can
do that eye hypnotism thing.
1410
01:04:36,257 --> 01:04:37,695
There's a lot of
potential with that.
1411
01:04:37,696 --> 01:04:39,628
You know, I'll walk
into a travel agency,
1412
01:04:39,629 --> 01:04:41,429
hypnotize a travel agent
and get free tickets.
1413
01:04:43,363 --> 01:04:46,628
That would work.
1414
01:04:46,629 --> 01:04:48,761
Yeah it works, I haven't paid
for a hotel in a long time.
1415
01:04:48,762 --> 01:04:50,229
I don't want to do this anymore.
1416
01:04:51,563 --> 01:04:53,562
Oh, thank you.
1417
01:04:53,563 --> 01:04:55,229
No, I mean like the lifestyle.
1418
01:04:55,230 --> 01:04:56,562
I don't want to do
the lifestyle anymore.
1419
01:04:56,563 --> 01:04:59,128
I want to be normal again.
1420
01:04:59,129 --> 01:05:00,429
God, okay.
1421
01:05:00,430 --> 01:05:02,928
- Erik, do you really want
to go back to normal? - Yes.
1422
01:05:02,929 --> 01:05:04,462
- You really want to change back?
- Yes, I do.
1423
01:05:04,463 --> 01:05:07,229
It's not that hard.
It's actually pretty easy.
1424
01:05:07,230 --> 01:05:08,395
There's a simple way.
1425
01:05:08,396 --> 01:05:09,661
- There's a way to go back
- Yeah.
1426
01:05:09,662 --> 01:05:11,562
To the way we were before?
Really?
1427
01:05:11,563 --> 01:05:15,496
How?
1428
01:05:15,497 --> 01:05:17,661
Listen, just get down on your hands and
knees, okay. - Okay, okay. - No, not here.
1429
01:05:17,662 --> 01:05:19,740
No, get down on your hands
and knees and pray to God.
1430
01:05:21,363 --> 01:05:23,162
- Pray to God?
- Yes.
1431
01:05:23,163 --> 01:05:26,995
What do I pray for?
1432
01:05:26,996 --> 01:05:28,567
It's sort of like, It's a Wonderful Life.
You're praying
1433
01:05:28,593 --> 01:05:30,028
for things to go back to normal.
Have you seen that?
1434
01:05:30,029 --> 01:05:31,295
Really? That's all I have to do?- Yeah.
- Pray to God and ask?
1435
01:05:31,296 --> 01:05:34,028
Pray as much as
you've ever prayed before.
1436
01:05:34,029 --> 01:05:36,728
Pray for forgiveness,
for absolution.
1437
01:05:36,729 --> 01:05:39,529
Ask God to take things
back to normal.
1438
01:05:43,417 --> 01:05:45,295
That's all I have to do?
I can just pray to God?
1439
01:05:45,296 --> 01:05:46,529
Yeah, totally.
1440
01:05:46,530 --> 01:05:48,462
Oh, Jesus Christ,
that's so incredible.
1441
01:05:48,463 --> 01:05:50,462
No, come on.
1442
01:05:50,463 --> 01:05:52,429
There's no God.
1443
01:05:52,430 --> 01:05:53,962
I was just kidding.
1444
01:05:53,963 --> 01:05:56,062
You can't go back.
1445
01:05:56,063 --> 01:05:58,496
I would love to see
that image...
1446
01:05:58,497 --> 01:06:00,761
You on your hands and
knees praying to God,
1447
01:06:00,762 --> 01:06:03,001
right after you sucked someone's
blood out of their body.
1448
01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:07,229
That's hilarious.
1449
01:06:07,230 --> 01:06:08,162
You're an asshole.
1450
01:06:08,163 --> 01:06:09,628
I'd love to see that.
1451
01:06:09,629 --> 01:06:11,262
I'm getting out.
1452
01:06:11,263 --> 01:06:12,561
God, it was great to see you.
1453
01:06:13,289 --> 01:06:15,128
- It was really great running into you.
- Yeah.
1454
01:06:15,129 --> 01:06:18,462
It's crazy how you run into
people in New York all the time.
1455
01:06:18,463 --> 01:06:20,128
In a city this big?
Nuts, right.
1456
01:06:20,129 --> 01:06:22,661
Yeah.
1457
01:06:22,662 --> 01:06:24,528
Thanks for the shower. It was great.
- My pleasure. - And the shirt.
1458
01:06:24,529 --> 01:06:26,395
- Anytime.
- Awesome.
1459
01:06:26,396 --> 01:06:28,262
- Just keep it.
- Thank you, thanks.
1460
01:06:28,263 --> 01:06:29,528
- See you around.
- See you around.
1461
01:06:29,529 --> 01:06:31,561
- Oh, hey. I wanted to ask you
one thing though. - Okay.
1462
01:06:31,562 --> 01:06:34,628
Up in the shower,
you were talking about God,
1463
01:06:34,629 --> 01:06:37,362
- and you said there is no God.
- Yeah.
1464
01:06:37,363 --> 01:06:39,262
So, there is no God?
1465
01:06:39,263 --> 01:06:41,028
Who knows?
1466
01:06:41,029 --> 01:06:43,195
Good. Okay. Yeah.
1467
01:06:43,196 --> 01:06:44,329
Okay. Bye Erik.
See you later.
1468
01:06:44,330 --> 01:06:46,028
See you.
1469
01:08:00,396 --> 01:08:01,661
Hi.
1470
01:08:06,963 --> 01:08:08,395
Hi.
1471
01:08:15,923 --> 01:08:17,162
Do you want something to drink?
1472
01:08:17,163 --> 01:08:18,595
Yeah, sure.
1473
01:08:18,596 --> 01:08:22,095
Um,
I don't really have anything.
1474
01:08:22,096 --> 01:08:23,394
You want some water?
1475
01:08:23,395 --> 01:08:25,595
- Oh no, it's fine.
- Okay.
1476
01:08:25,596 --> 01:08:27,235
I'm really surprised
to see you, actually.
1477
01:08:29,529 --> 01:08:30,488
Yeah, I'm surprised too.
1478
01:08:33,096 --> 01:08:34,628
I missed you.
1479
01:08:34,629 --> 01:08:38,362
Yeah, I missed you too.
1480
01:08:38,363 --> 01:08:40,394
What happened to
"what's his face?"
1481
01:08:40,395 --> 01:08:42,661
Oh, Jason?
It didn't work out.
1482
01:08:42,662 --> 01:08:45,128
Really?
Why not?
1483
01:08:45,129 --> 01:08:47,628
He started sleeping
around a lot.
1484
01:08:47,629 --> 01:08:49,528
Like, a lot.
1485
01:08:49,529 --> 01:08:53,162
Like, with women
and men, maybe a sheep.
1486
01:08:53,163 --> 01:08:55,628
- Did he bite you?
- What?
1487
01:08:55,629 --> 01:08:57,361
He didn't bite you.
1488
01:08:57,362 --> 01:08:59,394
No.
1489
01:08:59,395 --> 01:09:00,515
Erik, I'm worried about you.
1490
01:09:01,696 --> 01:09:03,595
Are you okay?
1491
01:09:05,529 --> 01:09:07,695
Listen, I don't really
want to talk, okay.
1492
01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:11,162
Okay.
1493
01:09:11,163 --> 01:09:13,528
Will you... will you
just sit with me?
1494
01:09:13,529 --> 01:09:15,329
Yeah.
1495
01:09:15,330 --> 01:09:16,649
Can we just sit here
and not talk?
1496
01:09:19,063 --> 01:09:21,361
Yeah, okay.
1497
01:09:21,362 --> 01:09:23,495
Thank you.
1498
01:09:48,196 --> 01:09:50,028
- Great view, isn't it?
- Yeah.
1499
01:09:50,029 --> 01:09:52,028
- It reminds me of you.
- Why?
1500
01:09:52,029 --> 01:09:53,295
It's pretty.
1501
01:09:53,296 --> 01:09:55,262
That's so cheesy.
1502
01:09:55,263 --> 01:09:57,461
- You want some wine?
- Yeah, I do.
1503
01:09:57,462 --> 01:09:58,901
The wedding was beautiful,
wasn't it?
1504
01:10:00,562 --> 01:10:02,394
Yeah, it was.
1505
01:10:02,395 --> 01:10:04,728
Your mother was
surprisingly warm to me.
1506
01:10:04,729 --> 01:10:06,294
She's very happy now.
1507
01:10:06,295 --> 01:10:08,695
Yeah, I think I like
your mom now.
1508
01:10:08,696 --> 01:10:10,361
She likes you too.
1509
01:10:10,362 --> 01:10:12,128
Yeah, but your Grandfather
was kind of cold,
1510
01:10:12,129 --> 01:10:13,294
actually, a little.
1511
01:10:13,295 --> 01:10:15,495
Oh, he hates you.
1512
01:10:15,496 --> 01:10:16,561
He does?
1513
01:10:16,562 --> 01:10:18,628
Well yeah,
because you're Turkish.
1514
01:10:18,629 --> 01:10:20,195
- Seriously?
- Uh-huh.
1515
01:10:20,196 --> 01:10:21,561
No.
1516
01:10:21,562 --> 01:10:22,995
No, no.
Don't take it personally.
1517
01:10:22,996 --> 01:10:25,294
He hates everybody,
like, Turkish people,
1518
01:10:25,295 --> 01:10:28,195
Africans, French,
Mexicans, Canadians,
1519
01:10:28,196 --> 01:10:29,428
Irish, Germans.
1520
01:10:29,429 --> 01:10:31,294
- That's the whole population.
- Yeah.
1521
01:10:31,295 --> 01:10:33,028
What is he?
What is his nationality?
1522
01:10:33,029 --> 01:10:34,561
- He's a real jerk.
- He's a real jerk.
1523
01:10:34,562 --> 01:10:36,728
You know there was
a girl at work
1524
01:10:36,729 --> 01:10:38,394
- who wouldn't go out with
me because I was... - What?
1525
01:10:38,395 --> 01:10:40,695
Never mind.
Nothing, nothing.
1526
01:10:40,696 --> 01:10:42,995
Take your pants off.
1527
01:10:42,996 --> 01:10:44,728
Okay, yeah, sure thing.
1528
01:10:44,729 --> 01:10:46,261
You don't want to do
that romantic thing
1529
01:10:46,262 --> 01:10:49,095
where I undress you
and you undress me?
1530
01:10:49,096 --> 01:10:51,561
No, I don't want to.
I just want to have sex.
1531
01:10:51,562 --> 01:10:53,695
Okay, I hear you.
1532
01:10:53,696 --> 01:10:55,428
- Hurry up.
- Yeah.
1533
01:11:05,362 --> 01:11:06,482
- Oh fuck.
- Oh God, not now.
1534
01:11:09,362 --> 01:11:11,195
- No, I'm okay, I'm okay.
- Are you sure?
1535
01:11:11,196 --> 01:11:12,495
Yes, I'm okay.
1536
01:11:12,496 --> 01:11:13,856
Oh fuck. Oh my God.
I've got to go.
1537
01:11:16,729 --> 01:11:18,095
No!
1538
01:11:18,096 --> 01:11:19,261
I have to go.
1539
01:11:19,262 --> 01:11:21,561
Erik, just bite me.
1540
01:11:21,562 --> 01:11:23,095
What?
1541
01:11:23,096 --> 01:11:25,428
- Just do it.
- No, no.
1542
01:11:25,429 --> 01:11:26,661
I want you to.
Just bite me.
1543
01:11:26,662 --> 01:11:30,661
I can't.
1544
01:11:30,662 --> 01:11:32,457
No, I've thought about this.
I want you to do it. Look,
1545
01:11:32,483 --> 01:11:34,028
I'm just going to go out
and get a puppy to bite
1546
01:11:34,029 --> 01:11:35,294
or something like that.
1547
01:11:35,295 --> 01:11:36,461
I can't bite you.
1548
01:11:36,462 --> 01:11:38,101
No, I want you to.
Just bite me, its fine.
1549
01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:42,294
I don't want you to
be like me, okay.
1550
01:11:42,295 --> 01:11:44,628
This is not a superhero.
This isn't a superpower.
1551
01:11:44,629 --> 01:11:46,361
This is a curse.
1552
01:11:46,362 --> 01:11:48,028
Oh, fuck me.
1553
01:11:48,029 --> 01:11:50,628
I know why you won't bite me.
1554
01:11:50,629 --> 01:11:53,194
I told you, I don't want you
to be like me, okay.
1555
01:11:53,195 --> 01:11:54,528
No, no, it's not that.
1556
01:11:54,529 --> 01:11:57,294
It's your commitment issues,
okay.
1557
01:11:57,295 --> 01:11:58,261
What?
1558
01:11:58,262 --> 01:12:00,162
I committed to you.
I got married, okay.
1559
01:12:00,163 --> 01:12:01,162
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1560
01:12:01,163 --> 01:12:04,361
Yes, but if you bite me,
1561
01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:06,561
that means you'll have to live with me
forever. What? What are you talking about?
1562
01:12:06,562 --> 01:12:09,040
You get to go on and then I die
and you get to be single again.
1563
01:12:10,129 --> 01:12:13,028
If you bite me,
1564
01:12:13,029 --> 01:12:15,826
it means you're really committed to me.
Oh, God damn. Oh, motherfucker.
1565
01:12:17,329 --> 01:12:19,128
Listen,
I want to be with you, okay,
1566
01:12:19,129 --> 01:12:22,561
but asking me to commit
to you for eternity....that's,
1567
01:12:22,562 --> 01:12:24,328
that's asking for a lot.
1568
01:12:24,329 --> 01:12:26,628
Erik, no.
True love is eternal. So...
1569
01:12:26,629 --> 01:12:27,995
Ha, ha, ha.
1570
01:12:27,996 --> 01:12:28,828
Are you laughing at me?
1571
01:12:28,829 --> 01:12:30,461
No, I'm just in
such fucking pain.
1572
01:12:30,462 --> 01:12:32,062
I'm doing that thing
where people laugh
1573
01:12:32,063 --> 01:12:33,194
when they're in pain.
1574
01:12:33,195 --> 01:12:35,095
This shit isn't funny though.
1575
01:12:35,096 --> 01:12:37,161
Oh God, listen.
1576
01:12:37,162 --> 01:12:40,028
Can't we just be married
for forty or fifty years
1577
01:12:40,029 --> 01:12:41,194
and squeeze out
a bunch of babies
1578
01:12:41,195 --> 01:12:42,561
and have a normal life?
1579
01:12:42,562 --> 01:12:44,428
Can't we just do that?
I've got to go.
1580
01:12:44,429 --> 01:12:46,728
No, I'm not pregnant.
1581
01:12:46,729 --> 01:12:49,294
Yeah, but there's nothing
wrong with my sperm sample.
1582
01:12:49,295 --> 01:12:50,495
We went to the doctor,
1583
01:12:50,496 --> 01:12:52,194
they said that my
chunky semen was fine.
1584
01:12:52,195 --> 01:12:53,361
Everything's going to be okay.
1585
01:12:53,362 --> 01:12:55,428
You know, I don't even
know if I want your children.
1586
01:12:55,429 --> 01:12:58,294
What if they're little monsters
1587
01:12:58,295 --> 01:13:00,394
and they end up biting my tit off when
I'm trying to breast feed them.
1588
01:13:00,395 --> 01:13:03,228
That's the spirit, okay.
1589
01:13:03,229 --> 01:13:05,495
I like it when you're being funny,
even though we're having an argument.
1590
01:13:05,496 --> 01:13:06,561
- That's terrific. - I don't want to
argue. I don't want to argue either, okay?
1591
01:13:06,562 --> 01:13:08,095
But I've got to go.
1592
01:13:08,096 --> 01:13:10,095
Come on,
1593
01:13:10,096 --> 01:13:11,995
don't you want a little nibble?
1594
01:13:11,996 --> 01:13:12,728
Doesn't that look nice?
1595
01:13:12,729 --> 01:13:14,328
No no, no, no.
I can't.
1596
01:13:14,329 --> 01:13:15,628
Look,
I'll happily drink your blood
1597
01:13:15,629 --> 01:13:17,528
during that time
of the month, okay.
1598
01:13:17,529 --> 01:13:19,528
Ew, Erik that's so gross.
1599
01:13:19,529 --> 01:13:21,461
I know it is, I'm sorry.
I've got to go.
1600
01:13:21,462 --> 01:13:22,428
You know,
you haven't changed at all.
1601
01:13:22,429 --> 01:13:23,761
You're still the same person.
1602
01:13:23,762 --> 01:13:26,028
I haven't changed?
Of course I've changed.
1603
01:13:26,029 --> 01:13:28,595
I've embraced all the fears
that I've ever had in my life,
1604
01:13:28,596 --> 01:13:31,461
marriage and babies,
I've embraced all of it.
1605
01:13:31,462 --> 01:13:33,094
I'm the same person.
1606
01:13:33,095 --> 01:13:36,062
I'm a changed person,
I'm a changed person, okay.
1607
01:13:36,063 --> 01:13:39,628
I just feel like I'm going to
fuckin'...my stomach feels like
1608
01:13:39,629 --> 01:13:42,628
somebody is eating me
from the inside, goddamn.
1609
01:13:45,063 --> 01:13:46,161
Listen, I love you, okay.
1610
01:13:48,395 --> 01:13:50,495
You're my little baby doll,
okay.
1611
01:13:50,496 --> 01:13:52,628
We got married,
I will give you my everything,
1612
01:13:52,629 --> 01:13:54,428
my cock,
I will give you my testicles,
1613
01:13:54,429 --> 01:13:55,628
they all belong to you.
1614
01:13:55,629 --> 01:13:57,561
My hands, my palms,
my fingerprints,
1615
01:13:57,562 --> 01:13:59,261
my feet, they're all yours.
1616
01:13:59,262 --> 01:14:00,595
You can keep your feet.
1617
01:14:00,596 --> 01:14:03,595
Yeah, my little sphincter
belongs to you.
1618
01:14:03,596 --> 01:14:06,161
No, I don't...
You can keep that.
1619
01:14:06,162 --> 01:14:07,862
- My heart belongs to you.
- That's nice.
1620
01:14:08,729 --> 01:14:11,394
Okay, okay, okay, go, go.
1621
01:14:13,295 --> 01:14:14,628
Please, okay.
1622
01:14:14,629 --> 01:14:16,628
I love you.
1623
01:14:16,629 --> 01:14:19,094
Can I get you anything while I'm out? No,
just don't forget to bring your phone.
1624
01:14:19,095 --> 01:14:20,094
Huh, what?
1625
01:14:20,095 --> 01:14:21,728
Your phone, don't forget
to bring your phone.
1626
01:14:21,729 --> 01:14:23,595
That's right.
See, I'm a changed person.
1627
01:14:23,596 --> 01:14:24,428
Be careful.
1628
01:14:24,429 --> 01:14:27,194
I got a Motorola Tracfone
for you.
1629
01:14:27,195 --> 01:14:28,595
I got it here.
1630
01:14:28,596 --> 01:14:30,661
I'll text you pictures,
my honey.
1631
01:14:30,662 --> 01:14:32,261
- I love you.
- I love you.
1632
01:14:32,262 --> 01:14:34,995
I love you, bye...
1633
01:14:47,362 --> 01:14:50,461
Who's your friend?
1634
01:14:50,462 --> 01:14:52,661
Why don't you introduce us?
1635
01:14:52,662 --> 01:14:55,628
Hey, Penelope,
it's you, oh my God.
1636
01:14:55,629 --> 01:14:57,695
Hi.
How are you?
1637
01:14:57,696 --> 01:14:59,561
I've been running into
everyone in New York lately.
1638
01:14:59,562 --> 01:15:01,094
Yeah, me too.
1639
01:15:01,095 --> 01:15:02,495
Wow.
1640
01:15:02,496 --> 01:15:04,661
You clean up nicely.
1641
01:15:04,662 --> 01:15:05,561
Thank you.
1642
01:15:05,562 --> 01:15:06,922
You look very
handsome in a tuxedo.
1643
01:15:09,729 --> 01:15:11,194
You look good.
1644
01:15:11,195 --> 01:15:11,994
Thank you.
1645
01:15:11,995 --> 01:15:13,728
Really good.
1646
01:15:13,729 --> 01:15:14,768
Well, what's the occasion?
1647
01:15:17,095 --> 01:15:18,728
Oh, it's just a wedding.
1648
01:15:18,729 --> 01:15:19,768
Oh, who's getting married?
1649
01:15:21,162 --> 01:15:22,994
Just a friend.
1650
01:15:32,696 --> 01:15:34,027
I'm back.
1651
01:15:34,028 --> 01:15:35,661
Did you eat?
1652
01:15:35,662 --> 01:15:37,561
Yeah.
1653
01:15:37,562 --> 01:15:40,094
What did you have?
1654
01:15:40,095 --> 01:15:43,628
Um, you don't want to know.
You don't want to know that.
1655
01:15:43,629 --> 01:15:45,595
Yeah I do.
Did you eat a rat?
1656
01:15:45,596 --> 01:15:48,461
Yeah, right. That's exactly
what I had, a rat.
1657
01:15:48,462 --> 01:15:50,027
Aren't you glad
I didn't bite you now?
1658
01:15:50,028 --> 01:15:52,061
This is what you would
have to look forward to.
1659
01:15:52,062 --> 01:15:53,661
Yeah, I mean,
on second thought.
1660
01:15:53,662 --> 01:15:56,027
Yeah, I going to
go to the bathroom.
1661
01:15:56,028 --> 01:15:57,528
Okay!
1662
01:16:04,629 --> 01:16:07,194
Erik, did you order
room service?
1663
01:16:07,195 --> 01:16:08,595
Huh.
1664
01:16:08,596 --> 01:16:10,628
There's someone at the door.
1665
01:16:10,629 --> 01:16:12,595
Yeah, get it.
1666
01:16:28,195 --> 01:16:29,328
Can I help you?
1667
01:16:29,329 --> 01:16:32,495
Yes.
Can I come in?
1668
01:16:32,496 --> 01:16:33,775
Um, I think you
have the wrong...
1669
01:16:36,762 --> 01:16:38,361
Erik!
1670
01:16:38,362 --> 01:16:39,728
Yeah.
1671
01:16:39,729 --> 01:16:40,328
I followed you.
1672
01:16:42,395 --> 01:16:43,634
Oh, do you two know
one another?
1673
01:16:45,395 --> 01:16:46,228
Yes, he just bit me!
1674
01:16:49,629 --> 01:16:52,161
I need to go wipe!
1675
01:16:52,162 --> 01:16:54,994
I'm so sorry to bother you but,
I just feel kind of confused.
1676
01:16:58,529 --> 01:17:01,294
Like, my legs feel weird.
1677
01:17:01,295 --> 01:17:03,173
It kind of feels like shrooming,
but way better.
1678
01:17:05,429 --> 01:17:07,094
Erik, get out here now.
1679
01:17:07,095 --> 01:17:09,528
Wow, you are bossy.
1680
01:17:09,529 --> 01:17:12,394
Do you always talk
to him like this?
1681
01:17:12,395 --> 01:17:15,027
I'm here.
I'm here.
1682
01:17:15,028 --> 01:17:16,361
Erik, did you bite her?
1683
01:17:16,362 --> 01:17:17,994
I've never seen
this woman in my life.
1684
01:17:17,995 --> 01:17:20,394
Oh my God,
that is such bologna.
1685
01:17:20,395 --> 01:17:22,461
We work together
1686
01:17:22,462 --> 01:17:24,820
and he used to masturbate to
pictures of me in the bathroom.
1687
01:17:27,562 --> 01:17:29,361
- That's not true.
- Yes it is.
1688
01:17:29,362 --> 01:17:31,720
Jamie installed a spy camera
in the ceiling of the bathroom,
1689
01:17:33,095 --> 01:17:35,027
and he made a video of you.
1690
01:17:35,028 --> 01:17:36,994
He has like, ten videos.
1691
01:17:36,995 --> 01:17:38,561
What?
He did what?
1692
01:17:38,562 --> 01:17:40,328
Your husband's a pervert.
1693
01:17:40,329 --> 01:17:42,061
I'm not the pervert.
Jamie's the pervert.
1694
01:17:42,062 --> 01:17:43,461
Did he really do that?
And you all watched me?
1695
01:17:43,462 --> 01:17:45,728
- He installed a video camera?
- I didn't. Everybody else did.
1696
01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:47,294
Everybody at work
saw me jerking off?
1697
01:17:47,295 --> 01:17:49,461
I didn't.
I don't like porn.
1698
01:17:49,462 --> 01:17:50,628
I watch the History channel.
1699
01:17:50,629 --> 01:17:53,628
- Erik, did you bite her?
- No, I did not bite her.
1700
01:17:53,629 --> 01:17:56,194
- Yes.
- No, I didn't.
1701
01:17:56,195 --> 01:17:58,361
Yes.
1702
01:17:58,362 --> 01:18:00,027
Maybe a little bit.
1703
01:18:00,028 --> 01:18:01,787
See, and I really wish
you would do it again,
1704
01:18:03,662 --> 01:18:06,661
because it felt good.
1705
01:18:06,662 --> 01:18:08,361
She's a crazy woman.
She's out of her mind.
1706
01:18:08,362 --> 01:18:09,261
She's a lunatic.
1707
01:18:09,262 --> 01:18:10,294
Look at her.
Look at her.
1708
01:18:10,295 --> 01:18:13,394
She's a... she's a...
1709
01:18:13,395 --> 01:18:15,027
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.
1710
01:18:15,028 --> 01:18:16,528
You can't go,
not on our wedding night,
1711
01:18:16,529 --> 01:18:18,528
- Listen...
- I'm such an idiot.
1712
01:18:18,529 --> 01:18:20,127
I'm the idiot, okay.
Listen...
1713
01:18:20,128 --> 01:18:23,595
I am not an idiot.
I have an IQ of 150.
1714
01:18:23,596 --> 01:18:24,728
Will you please...
1715
01:18:24,729 --> 01:18:26,361
- Bullshit, no you don't.
- I do.
1716
01:18:26,362 --> 01:18:28,261
I was a child prodigy,
1717
01:18:28,262 --> 01:18:30,328
and I got a perfect score
on my SAT's.
1718
01:18:30,329 --> 01:18:32,695
Don't do this, listen.
1719
01:18:32,696 --> 01:18:35,027
Erik, I don't care what you have to say.
"Jody, I'm sorry. Jody, I love you.
1720
01:18:35,028 --> 01:18:36,906
Jody, I made a mistake."
It's not cute any more.
1721
01:18:37,429 --> 01:18:39,628
Ooh, I want some.
1722
01:19:00,562 --> 01:19:02,595
Hey, that's enough.
1723
01:19:02,596 --> 01:19:04,114
Hey, come on,
you're going to hurt her.
1724
01:19:04,629 --> 01:19:06,294
You're going to kill her.
Stop it.
1725
01:19:06,295 --> 01:19:07,061
Okay.
1726
01:19:08,229 --> 01:19:10,495
Be gentle with her.
1727
01:19:12,529 --> 01:19:14,428
She's my wife.
1728
01:19:16,362 --> 01:19:19,061
Some husband you are,
1729
01:19:19,062 --> 01:19:22,394
going around biting other woman
on your wedding night.
1730
01:19:22,395 --> 01:19:24,228
You're right.
1731
01:19:24,229 --> 01:19:25,708
Jesus, I really
screwed everything up.
1732
01:19:30,095 --> 01:19:32,328
Do you believe in Jesus?
1733
01:19:32,329 --> 01:19:34,461
No, why would you ask me that?
1734
01:19:34,462 --> 01:19:35,495
Well, you just said
1735
01:19:35,496 --> 01:19:37,595
"Jesus Christ I really
screwed everything up."
1736
01:19:37,596 --> 01:19:39,361
It's just an expression,
it's like,
1737
01:19:39,362 --> 01:19:41,361
"Jimmy Crickets,
I screwed everything up,
1738
01:19:41,362 --> 01:19:45,261
gosh darn it."
1739
01:19:45,262 --> 01:19:46,628
Yeah, but Jimmy Cricket
wasn't a prophet. He was kind of a prophet,
1740
01:19:46,629 --> 01:19:48,361
I mean, like,
to Pinocchio, sort of.
1741
01:19:48,362 --> 01:19:50,027
He was Pinocchio's conscience.
1742
01:19:50,028 --> 01:19:52,628
Yeah, but he said wise
things to Pinocchio,
1743
01:19:52,629 --> 01:19:54,428
like a prophet does.
1744
01:19:54,429 --> 01:19:56,067
But he wasn't a prophet.
He was a cricket.
1745
01:19:58,429 --> 01:20:00,694
God, Penelope, who cares?
1746
01:20:00,695 --> 01:20:03,194
See, there you go again
with the God thing.
1747
01:20:03,195 --> 01:20:04,361
So what.
1748
01:20:04,362 --> 01:20:05,682
I really think
you believe in God.
1749
01:20:08,195 --> 01:20:10,261
Do you believe in God?
1750
01:20:10,262 --> 01:20:11,361
Sure.
1751
01:20:11,362 --> 01:20:13,294
But you have an IQ of 150.
1752
01:20:13,295 --> 01:20:16,061
Yeah, well, science hasn't
scientifically proven
1753
01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:18,328
that God doesn't exist,
not definitively.
1754
01:20:19,629 --> 01:20:22,294
- Do you believe in prayer?
- What do you mean?
1755
01:20:25,028 --> 01:20:26,588
Do you believe that God
answers prayers?
1756
01:20:29,262 --> 01:20:32,528
I think it depends on
what the person prays for.
1757
01:20:38,761 --> 01:20:40,927
Would you pray with me now?
1758
01:20:41,695 --> 01:20:44,127
Okay.
1759
01:20:45,062 --> 01:20:45,562
Okay.
1760
01:20:58,262 --> 01:21:02,461
Dear Mr. God,
Mrs. God, whatever.
1761
01:21:02,462 --> 01:21:04,660
I don't normally pray but
because of all the crazy shit,
1762
01:21:06,661 --> 01:21:08,194
stuff that's been
happening recently,
1763
01:21:08,195 --> 01:21:10,127
I figured your existence
1764
01:21:10,128 --> 01:21:12,561
might not be so far-fetched,
after all.
1765
01:21:12,562 --> 01:21:14,061
It's funny that
I've never prayed,
1766
01:21:14,062 --> 01:21:15,528
because I'm a very
selfish person
1767
01:21:15,529 --> 01:21:18,595
and I consider daily prayer
a pretty selfish act.
1768
01:21:18,596 --> 01:21:20,994
I mean, "ask and
you shall receive?"
1769
01:21:20,995 --> 01:21:22,561
That sounds pretty selfish.
1770
01:21:22,562 --> 01:21:24,361
It's kind of like sitting on
Santa Claus' lap
1771
01:21:24,362 --> 01:21:26,294
every night before
you go to bed and saying
1772
01:21:26,295 --> 01:21:28,461
"Hey Santa, I want this
and Santa I want that."
1773
01:21:28,462 --> 01:21:31,361
And well, I thought
I'd take you up on that.
1774
01:21:31,362 --> 01:21:34,127
I mean, you can pray
for others too.
1775
01:21:34,128 --> 01:21:36,027
I pray for the sick
and the unfortunate.
1776
01:21:36,028 --> 01:21:38,394
I pray for other
people's happiness.
1777
01:21:38,395 --> 01:21:41,027
I pray for world peace.
1778
01:21:41,028 --> 01:21:42,428
There's no such thing.
1779
01:21:42,429 --> 01:21:44,294
World peace is impossible,
okay.
1780
01:21:44,295 --> 01:21:46,194
Well, it's like the general idea
1781
01:21:46,195 --> 01:21:47,994
that you don't just
pray for yourself.
1782
01:21:47,995 --> 01:21:49,127
You pray for others.
1783
01:21:49,128 --> 01:21:50,727
Okay, this isn't
that kind of prayer.
1784
01:21:50,728 --> 01:21:52,594
This is a selfish prayer, okay.
1785
01:21:52,595 --> 01:21:53,694
Let me have my selfish prayer.
1786
01:21:53,695 --> 01:21:56,161
Okay, okay, be selfish.
1787
01:21:56,162 --> 01:21:58,428
God, please make me
normal again.
1788
01:21:58,429 --> 01:22:00,760
Please make Penelope normal
again if that's possible.
1789
01:22:00,761 --> 01:22:03,199
At least take away her desire
to drink blood and fuck shit up.
1790
01:22:06,095 --> 01:22:09,127
Please forgive us
for biting Jody.
1791
01:22:09,128 --> 01:22:11,027
That was a mistake
and I love her so much.
1792
01:22:14,561 --> 01:22:17,027
If it's possible too, God,
1793
01:22:17,028 --> 01:22:19,386
could you forgive me for all
horrible things that I've done?
1794
01:22:21,295 --> 01:22:24,194
I've done terrible things.
1795
01:22:24,195 --> 01:22:27,094
Someone once told me that
all you have to do is
1796
01:22:27,095 --> 01:22:29,194
ask for forgiveness
and you'll forgive them,
1797
01:22:29,195 --> 01:22:30,961
o matter what.
1798
01:22:30,962 --> 01:22:34,627
I find it very comforting
that you're such a pushover.
1799
01:22:34,628 --> 01:22:36,626
Anyway, if you could just
take away our affliction,
1800
01:22:38,295 --> 01:22:41,261
our disease,
1801
01:22:41,262 --> 01:22:43,078
I promise to believe in
you for perpetuity, or
1802
01:22:43,104 --> 01:22:44,803
for the end of time,
or you know, whatever.
1803
01:22:45,329 --> 01:22:46,807
Penelope, do you
want to add anything?
1804
01:22:49,162 --> 01:22:51,194
Don't forget world peace.
1805
01:22:51,195 --> 01:22:53,627
Oh yeah, God, please do
what you can for world peace
1806
01:22:53,628 --> 01:22:57,495
and maybe grant everybody
happiness if you can,
1807
01:22:57,496 --> 01:23:00,261
except for all those
corporate shithead,
1808
01:23:00,262 --> 01:23:01,560
super rich motherfuckers
1809
01:23:01,561 --> 01:23:03,261
who are are making
the world a worse place
1810
01:23:03,262 --> 01:23:06,461
than it probably
would be otherwise.
1811
01:23:06,462 --> 01:23:09,527
Anyway, yeah, that's about all.
1812
01:23:09,528 --> 01:23:12,627
Dominus forbiscum,
et tu spirit tu tu oh.
1813
01:23:12,628 --> 01:23:13,660
Allah Hallah.
1814
01:23:13,661 --> 01:23:15,627
Jesus Christ.
In the name of the holy father,
1815
01:23:15,628 --> 01:23:18,594
and the holy ghost and
the holy manger, Amen.
1816
01:23:18,595 --> 01:23:20,594
Amen.
1817
01:23:26,162 --> 01:23:27,494
She's awake.
1818
01:23:27,495 --> 01:23:30,694
Oh praise....something.
1819
01:23:30,695 --> 01:23:32,261
Are you okay, my sweet angel?
1820
01:23:32,262 --> 01:23:34,328
Say something, my sweet angel.
1821
01:23:42,462 --> 01:23:45,027
Are we going to fuck or what?
133038