Original subtitles

And welcome back to "Tia."

I'm here with hollywood's it couple du jour,

Sonny munroe and Chad dylan cooper,

Or as I've just decided to call you, "Channy."

cute! Channy... I like that.

, we've got our own mash-up name.

So, Channy, what's it like being Channy?

- Is she talking to me or you? - I don't know.

- Uh, we don't know... we don't know who talks. - Yeah.

[laughs ]

You guys are adorable...

A-dorable!

So, Channy, the world can't wait any longer.

Tell us all about your first kiss.

It... uh, it actually hasn't happened yet.

Really?

Fascinating. Tell me, why is that?

Well, um, I don't... I don't know.

- Me neither. - Whenever it happens, it happens.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Well, good for you...

Not rushing into things.

- Thanks... - do it right now,

Right here, in front of all your Channy fans!

[applause ]

What? No.

, I'm sorry.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Would music help?

[funk music playing ]

All right, so the interview's over

Because you're a crazy lady.

Okay? Uh, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma! Crazy.

- [rings ] - [screams ]

off to the races, I'm going places

might be a long shot, not gonna waste it

this is the big break and it's calling my name

yeah!

so far, so great, get with it

at least that's how I see it

having a dream is just the beginning

so far, so great, believe it

can't take away this feeling

taking a ride with chance on my side

yeah, I can't wait

so far, so great

- so far, so great - [vocalizing ]

Synced By YesCool www.addic7ed.com

Sonny, could you believe that interview?

Right? People just need to stop worrying

About Channy and when they're gonna kiss.

I know, right? It's like don't people have

Anything better do than think about our love life?

♪ Sonny and Chad sittin' in a tree... ♪

That's it... just sittin' there.

Even though the idea of you two kissing sickens us,

- What are you waitin' for? - Yeah.

- Use it or lose it. - Mm-hmm.

Like I'm gonna take advice from two guys who are dating their pillows.

Ha ha, ! Well, at least we've kissed them already.

Dude, please don't advertise that.

- Chad, you got a little... - little...

- Right there. . - All: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Really, people? You think this is where we're gonna have our first kiss?

Especially when he has stinky mustard breath?

Yeah! Hey, what?

This is ridiculous. Let's go.

Mm-hmm.

- Hey, Sonny? - Yeah?

Good cover on that stinky-mustard-breath line.

Yeah.

Thanks for finding us a new dressing room, marshall.

What choice did I have after what you did to the last one?

Okay, I admit, our fourth-of-July party

Did get a little out of hand.

Who has a fourth-of-July fireworks display inside?

Both: Patriots!

Idiots.

You'd better not trash this dressing room.

I mean it.

It looks like somebody trashed it already.

Yeah, based on the smell, I'm thinking maybe it was my grandmother.

[laughs ]

That smell is comedy history.

This was the dressing room of silent-film star

Spatzy carbunkle.

Wasn't he the guy who took the first pie in the face?

People say you can still feel spatzy's spirit in here.

And people will say the same thing about you if you mess up this dressing room.

Enjoy!

You know, there... there is a lot of mystery about the way this guy died.

Hmm, I wonder if it was pie-related.

, what a way to go.

- I know, huh? - No no no, I mean death by pie.

What a way to go! Come on!

- What... - [ both coughing ]

What? Five-decade rule.

[man's voice moans ]

What was that?

Probably your stomach trying to get rid of that 50-year old pie.

[laughs ]

[moaning, rustling ]

That's not my stomach.

[moaning, wood creaking ]

Wait... wait, where is that coming from?

Ahh!

I think it's coming from spatzy, man.

I think he wants his pie back!

please!

What do you think, spatzy's ghost is in here?

- Ahhh! - [objects crashing ]

Not yet, but he's a'comin' and I'm a'goin'.

Grady! Grady!

Grady... grady!

Grady, I'm not running out 'cause of some fake ghost.

[exhales ]

[moaning, crashing ]

look, it just happens to be time

For my previously scheduled cowardly run.

Ahh!

Hey.

So did Channy kiss yet?

Uh, let me think. No.

Well, you'd better get your kiss on quick

Because one half of Channy is kissing someone else

On "mackenzie falls" this afternoon.

Wha... okay, look,

If you think that I'm gonna be bothered by Chad kissing another actress,

I'm not, okay? He's a professional and so am I.

well, good.

Then it won't bother you when mackenzie takes chloe

In his arms and says...

Chloe, I can't resist your lips any longer.

I need to kiss somebody.

Nope nope. Doesn't... doesn't bother me at all.

, look at the time.

I gotta call my grandmother in "wiscons-kiss"... "kiss-consin."

You know what? Shut it, tawni.

Wow, it bothers her more than I hoped it would.

Ha! I win.

Nico?

- [hammering ] - nico?

Right here! Ha ha ha!

I've been looking for you, man.

I've been doing some research on spatzy, and listen to this:

"spatzy carbunkle died an untimely death

While perfecting his hilarious double-whoopsy banana-peel slip

In his dressing room."

"dateline hollywood...

Spatzy goes splatzy.

Hollywood tips their hatsy

To favorite fatsy."

So you see, spatzy is haunting his dressing room.

Well, it's our dressing room now, okay?

And if he wants it back, he's gonna have to go through you.

Ah! Wait, just me?

- And me. - Yeah.

- But mostly you. - No no.

- Right right, you you. - No comment.

Uh, no comment. Look, I'm tired of hearing about this.

I will kiss Sonny when I'm ready.

Okay, mom, I love you too! Mwah!

Hey guys, what's that?

, we're doing a carnival sketch.

- You're gonna love this. - Yeah.

Sonny munroe is queen of the kissing booth.

Ha ha ha! Which is ironic

Because you guys are both the king and queen

Of the not-kissing booth.

[echoing ] not-kissing booth. Not-kissing booth.

Step right up, mr. Cooper, and give Sonny munroe a kiss.

Only $1 a kiss.

Yes, you sir, with the finely-coiffed hair,

What are you waiting for?

Step right up and give the lady a kiss.

What are you waiting for?

Are you afraid?

Yes, Chad, are you?

Ah!

I gotta... I gotta go.

- Got a meeting I don't want to kiss... - what?

...Miss. Uh, that was a "kiss-stake."

Miss... mmm... mistake. Shut it.

hey!

Hi.

So everyone's making a big deal about this kiss thing, huh?

- I know, right? - Yeah.

- It's kinda ridiculous, yeah. - .

When it happens, it happens.

- We should kiss tonight. - Yes, definitely tonight.

All righty then.

Okey-dokey!

Bye.

More cheese?

Always, 'cause you know, wisconsin...

Cheese.

That's what I was thinking.

So smart.

It feels right.

It sure does.

You know, it's a perfect night

With a perfect moment

For the perfect kiss.

How could it not be perfect?

Uh yeah. We're Channy.

We sure are... Channy.

All right, so let's do this.

I'm gonna kiss you now.

. So you're announcing it?

- Is that... is that a problem? - No...

I can just... I can just go for it if you want.

You just caught me off guard.

Hey, if you're not ready, that's fine.

I am totally ready.

- All right, cool. - Okay.

Hold on.

Okay, here we go.

It's happening.

Movin' in for the kiss now.

Okay, I... I gotta say,

My announcing not any worse than your narrating.

- So... - Okay. "sorry," she said.

Oops, she did it again. I mean, I did it again. Sorry.

- I... - it's okay. It's okay.

- Okay. - Ow!

Ow. That's okay. Let's... let's try it again.

Yeah, you know what? I'll put my hand there so it...

- Okay, that's perfect. That's great. - Right there.

That's good, okay. Ow ow ow ow!

Sorry! It's my lucky bracelet.

- Not so much in my hair. - Okay, relax.

Just relax. Uh, one, two...

- Almost there. - Okay.

- Three. - Ow!

Sorry.

Fine fine. All right, go time, let's focus.

Let's do this.

well, that's romantic.

I'm sorry, do you have something better?

Let's just get this over with.

No.

- [tooth cracking ] - ow! My tooth.

- , I'm so sorry. - No no no, I'm good.

- Good good. - [helicopter hovering ]

[man over loudspeaker ] attention! This is a private beach.

You kids are trespassing.

Hey, it's Channy!

Kiss kiss kiss!

Kiss kiss!

One.

And done.

- 'morning. - Good morning.

O, you brought muffins. Good thing I did my crunch.

So Channy struck out

In the kiss department last night, huh?

What? How do you know?

Woman's intuition, lucky guess,

But mostly tooth mark on your forehead.

man!

Can you replace my tooth?

The bigger question is

When is Channy gonna kiss already?

[mumbles ]

, don't try to change the subject.

I don't get it. Chad and I are great together.

And I really like him. You know, we're Channy.

Why is this happening?

I hate to be the one to break it to you,

But you and Chad just don't have a spark.

What? No! Okay, I refuse to believe that Chad and I don't have spark.

You want to know why last night was such a disaster?

No spark.

No, it's because we planned our first kiss. Who does that?

People with no spark.

No!

People who care too much about what people think.

You know, a kiss should be natural and spontaneous,

Like the rest of the world doesn't exist.

It's you and... That muffin! Gosh, take a breath.

See, this is what a spark looks like.

Well, you know what?

I'm gonna go get that same spark with Chad

That you have with that muffin.

Good luck!

We'rso good together.

Okay, let's just admit it, okay?

We have "kiss-ssues."

But that doesn't mean that there's no spark.

You know, that just wasn't spontaneous or natural.

It was just too forced, you know what I mean?

- It was... - uh, don't bother.

no, there's no spark.

We're sparkless; we're spark-free;

We're the anti-spark. I have to go.

- No, listen! Hey! - Don't bother.

No, Sonny, the dentist gave me a shot.

I can't feel anything. My mouth is numb.

We have a spark.

Spatzy carbunkle!

Are you there?

It is I, the great gradini. I come in peace.

Spatzy!

[cuban accent ] say hello to my little fire extinguisher.

Ah!

All right.

We agreed to try my way first.

I will summon up spatzy's spirit and ask him nicely to leave.

And if that doesn't work, then plan b.

A... a bowling ball?

Really?

I couldn't afforthe turban and the crystal ball,

So hello!

! And speaking of which...

Hello, spatzy.

[moaning ]

Hey! Ah! It's working.

- [room shaking ] - it's working a little too well.

It's coming from the painting! He's after us!

All right, plan b. Plan b!

[moaning ]

- I think we rekilled him. - [laughing ]

! It's spatzy! Get him, get him!

Whoo!

Ah! Make it stop.

Ah! Stop! It's me, you pinheads.

Marshall?

What did you do?

We thought we heard spatzy carbunkle.

There was all this moaning and groaning and...

Yeah! I've been working out.

[groans ]

My gym is on the other side of this wall.

You work out?

Well, I... I met this divorced librarian...

Don't change the subject!

You destroyed an irreplaceable piece of show-business history.

Yes.

But on the plus side,

We did prove

That there are no dead people in here.

Not yet, there aren't.

- Run! - Go go go!

Come here!

Channy, Channy, Channy.

Ugh! I can't take it anymore.

Then do I have good news for you!

I think I have a way to solve your problem with Chad.

I've put together a catalogue of boys I've projected

That I think would settle for you.

, tawni.

You know, it's... it's moments like this

Where you learn to appreciate having real friends.

I'm gonna go find one.

"if you want to know that my heart is true,

Follow the petals in front of you."

O!

!

- ! - [romantic music plays ]

"something special for my sweet.

Lift the dome to reveal a treat."

Okay.

Ahh!

[screaming ]

Chad!

Ah!

What were you thinking? Why did you do something like this?

Well, excuse me.

Trying to be original here.

All right? It shouldn't be so hard for our first kiss.

, so you're saying that it's my fault.

No no no, I'm just saying it's not my fault.

- Well, it's one of our faults. - Well, maybe it's both our faults.

Maybe it's Channy!

I'm so sick of everyone saying "Channy this, Channy that."

I'm... I can't do it.

Sonny, wait.

Sonny, wait, hold on. I got... I got a candle...

Whoa whoa, that... that... okay.

Ah. Hey, wait! I gotta talk to you.

I... whoa! This is not working.

Sonny, wait, I gotta talk...

I told you there's no such thing as ghosts.

Ahh!

[both screaming ]

Chad: Sonny? Sonny?

Hey, there you are.

Why'd you... why'd you run off?

I can't take it anymore.

If I never hear "Channy" again, it'll be too soon.

I know. I can't believe I'm actually sick

Of hearing the sound of my own name.

Well, half my name.

It's a lot of pressure.

And maybe that's what's wrong with us.

Maybe.

So what should we do?

I don't know.

Maybe we should just go back to being friends.

That was a lot less complicated.

Yeah.

Should we?

Maybe we should.

Wow. You feel that?

No, what?

Exactly... there's no pressure.

Yeah, you're right. It's like this big old weight was lifted.

You know?

Yeah, I think you call that a table.

It was so heavy.

Okay then, I should... I should probably go get ready for the show.

Right.

Okay then, buddy.

See ya, buddy.

Hey, um, friends can hug, right?

Yeah! I hug the randoms all the time.

- Cool, come on. - Okay.

Whoa, wow.

Yeah... wow.

You don't do that with the randoms, do you? It's weird.

Nope nope, sure don't.

You know what?

I think when we were Channy,

We lost track of Sonny and Chad, you know?

Well, Channy may not have a spark,

But Sonny and Chad sure do.

[projector rolling ]

Announcer: Meet melvyn hubbly.

He's a nerd who never had any friends...

You'll never have any friends, nerd.

...Until one day when he found one

- In the most unlikely of places. - !

Now everything he ever wished for

Is about to come true.

I am the genie of the toilet.

[speaks gibberish]

Now melvyn is going from fool to cool;

From zero to hero.

Ah!

He needed a toilet;

He needed to be freed from one.

Two strangers,

Three wishes...

Yeah, that's right, I wished for this hat.

One friendship.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0