Original subtitles

Check out my Halloween costume. I went as you.

Check it out, I went as you.

Check it out, we went as each other.

Matchy matchy.

H, I hate workinin h hlowee.

I know, right? All the weirdoes come out.

Brains.

Check out the zombie costume.

Check out his lame clothes.

Like, where does he shop,

Aberzombie and witch?

Brains!

Brains? But we don't need 'em.

- We're cute. - Check us out.

Oh!

Um, hello. You forgot your change.

And your arm.

Are you ready to get so random!?

It's the "so random!" holiday special.

Starring tawni hart...

Nico harris...

Grady mitchell...

Zora lancaster...

Sonny munroe.

With guest host shaquille o'neal.

Musical guest all star weekend.

With a special performance by "so random"'s sonny munroe.

And now here's your host shaquille o'neal.

Once again, shaquille o'neal.

Where is he?

He was just over there behind that door and now he's gone.

The dude is eight feet tall.

How do you lose eight feet of dude?

Okay look, zora, we need you to stall, okay?

We have eight feet of dude to find.

- No no no! - Get out there.

Hey.

So, you like scary stories?

It was a dark and stormy night.

When a lawyer and a werewolf walk into a juice bar.

How can we not find him?

Where can he be?

- Earthquake! - Quick, everybody in the photo room.

Mama! Mama!

Shaq, what are you doing in there?

Hiding.

I'm scared to perform in front of a live audience.

Are you serious?

I'm a big man with big feelings, okay?

Aw, there's nothing to be scared of, big fella.

Yeah.

Just think of us as your teammates.

What would they do to get you to go out there and be your best?

You know what? We do have a ritual.

You ever heard of this show "mackenzie falls"?

Let me guess.

You can't go out in front of a crowd unless you watch an episode?

Not exactly.

Have you met my long-lost identical twin brother?

What's up? The name's shaqenzie.

- This is what calms him down? - Shh.

I didn't know you had a long-long identical twin.

How will I ever tell you two apart?

Oh, you'll know.

And scene.

So you ready to do the show?

Do I get to keep the clothes?

- You can even keep chad. - What?

And then the lawyer said to the werewolf,

"I said sue me, not shoe me."

I knew that joke would kill.

We have a great show for you tonight.

Hey buddy, I'm telling jokes here.

Do I go down to where you work.

And slap the ball out of your hands?

All star weekend is here.

And a new song by sonny munroe.

All right, that's it.

Don't go anywhere. Especially you, chad.

"so random!" presents Halloween party do's & dent's.

Do carve pumpkins.

Dude, awesome pumpkin.

- So cool. - Halloween may be my favorite holiday.

I know, I love it so much.

Don't carve onions.

Dude, cool onion.

Halloween may be my favorite holiday.

I know, I love it so much.

This was another edition of "so random"'s

Halloween party do's & dent's.

Bears on trampolines.

Okay, sweetie, it's time to get off the computer and go to bed.

Okay, mommy.

Mommy, before you leave,

Could you check under my bed for monsters?

There are no monsters, hon.

Good night.

Mom!

No monsters.

- Tasty. - Mommy!

Oh man.

You have a computer. Whoo!

All right. Boop.

Status update.

Deeper is feeling... is feeling.

Frustrated right now.

The kid he's supposed to be scaring.

Has a really slow internet connection.

I hear typing.

And you didn't hear the growling?

Mom, it's not me. It's a monster.

Oh, seriously? Huh? Huh?

You're gonna play me like that?

How long are you gonna use my computer?

I'm sorry. Is this a library?

Is there a time limit?

Because last time I checked I'm the monster here!

You're not sry. You're just annoying.

Whatever.

That's it! I can hear you typing.

Do you want me to come in there?

Yes yes! Please come in!

Dude, come on!

- No! - Get out of my way.

I knew you were on the computer.

No no no no no. The monster put me there.

Look look, he's right here.

Oh my gosh.

When did you get these slippers?

You think that slippers are funny, young lady?

They're monster feet.

I don't care what you kids are calling them these days.

You ordered those on the internet without my permission.

You are grounded.

No.

Oh.

That's just great.

No computer. No computer.

Now what am I supposed to do, huh?

Well...

Guess now I'm just gonna have to eat you.

No no no no no. Wait wait wait wait.

You know who's internet connection is super fast?

- Who? - My mom's.

Ah, good looking out, kid.

Ow ow, claws, claws!

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

♪ gonna go in the next room. ♪

monster!

Go to bed, mom. For the millionth time,

Monsters don't exist.

Check it out. It's a giant dracula.

Actually, it's shaqula.

Check out how he can't pronounce dracula.

It's shaqula I told you.

When I was shaq a vampire bit me.

Probably an eastern european player.

Check out how he thinks we care about sports.

Yeah, check out his football.

I mean, who does he think he is... tony hawk?

I may be of the undead, but you girls are brain dead.

Looks like shaqula is now flapula.

Flappy flappy.

Ladies and gentlemen, all star weekend.

♪ I've been stopping at green lights ♪

♪ got lost on my way home ♪

♪ I'm sleepwalking at night ♪

♪ I put my shirt on inside out ♪

♪ umbrella in the sun ♪

♪ my head up in the clouds ♪

♪ my friends just laugh at me ♪

♪ there's only one thing it could be ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ got bit by the bug ♪

♪ I'm sick and I feel confused ♪

♪ I know it, I've come down with love ♪

♪ I can't get enough ♪

♪ I won't break this fever ♪

♪ I need her, I'm bit by the bug ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ don't need a shot ♪

♪ don't need a doctor ♪

♪ they can't make me okay ♪

♪ it's up to you ♪

♪ give me an answer ♪

♪ because I'm trying just to see you ♪

♪ only want to feel you ♪

♪ dying just to hear you ♪

♪ say ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ got bit by the bug ♪

♪ I'm sick and I feel confused ♪

♪ I know it, I've come down with love ♪

♪ got bit by the bug ♪

♪ I'm sick and I feel confused ♪

♪ I know it, I've come down with love ♪

♪ I can't get enough ♪

♪ I'm sick and I feel confused ♪

♪ I know it, I've come down with love ♪

♪ got bit by the bug ♪

♪ I won't break this fever ♪

♪ I need her, I'm bit by the bug ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ I've come down with love ♪

♪ we've come down with love. ♪

We'll be right back to "so random!"

So don't go away.

"so random!" presents Halloween party do's & dent's.

Do bob for apples.

- Oh! - Yeah!

- He got one. - Yay!

Don't apples for bob.

Apple, bob?

An apple?

An apple?

What's the matter with you?

I just got my braces.

Why don't you just give me corn on the cob?

Or taffy.

Or better yet, just call my mom.

And tell her that $3000 worth of orthodonture.

Just got flushed down the toilet.

Because you want to give me an apple.

Bob, chill. You could have just said no.

This was another edition of "so random"'s

Halloween party do's & dent's.

In the spirit of Halloween let's take a little trip.

To the world's scariest roadside diner.

Roadkill mcgill's roadside diner.

Sounds so folksy.

Oh, glen.

It's so lovely getting out of the city.

To enjoy some local cuisine.

Boy howdy!

We got some of the best eats this side of the highway.

I'll tell you what!

Is this some sort of filet?

Well, it was filleting on the side of the highway.

♪ when your family's tummy's grumbling ♪

♪ and you're not sure what to eat ♪

♪ just drive on over to the market ♪

♪ you'll find some dinner on the street ♪

♪ 'cause the freeway is your pantry ♪

♪ back road's a smorgasbord ♪

♪ alley's are a bounty ♪

♪ side street's a grocery store ♪

♪ keep your eyes wide open ♪

♪ you could save yourself a buck ♪

♪ if you're passing by the lakefront ♪

♪ you might even dine on duck. ♪.

You mean to tell me that we're eating animals you ran over on the road?

Oh, heck no.

Roadkill mcgill would never hurt any living creature.

- Oh, good. - Thank goodness.

Someone else squished it.

We just dished it. How's your skunk?

Aaah!

- Good one, pa. - I'll tell you what.

This is barbaric. Come, muffy.

Now hold off on there. We might have something.

That will tickle your tonsils with the taste of tire.

But pa, we're done clean out of food.

Not anymore.

Oh, good one, pa.

I'll tell you what.

♪ now try some fritters made of critters ♪

♪ or tasty roadside hash ♪

♪ some fender tender chicken ♪

♪ squashed possum succotash ♪

♪ tire shredded beaver or bumper splattered rat ♪

♪ a pickup battered buffalo ♪

♪ or flattened tasty bat. ♪.

No animals were harmed in the making of these here vittles.

Mm-hmm. They were that way when we found 'em.

If it's under a wheel, it's probably a meal.

Good one, pa.

I'll tell you what, tell you what!

"so random!" presents Halloween party do's & dent's.

Do tell ghost stories.

There was a loud scraping.

But when they saw his hand,

It had become a hook.

Don't tell toast stories.

There was a loud ding.

But when the toast popped up,

They saw it was burnt to a crisp.

A crisp! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

This was another edition of "so random"'s

Halloween party do's & don'ts.

Now here's a Halloween treat for you.

Performing her new song "work of art,"

Sonny munroe.

♪ every day is like a blank canvas ♪

♪ you know you can paint it any way you want it ♪

♪ you can draw black clouds, you can make the sun shine ♪

♪ color in a rainbow or use black and white ♪

♪ open up your eyes ♪

♪ and your imagination ♪

♪ come on, let's write a song ♪

♪ a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart ♪

♪ life is a work of art ♪

♪ every night is like looking at a dark screen ♪

♪ you're never too young or too old to dream ♪

♪ you can make a fantasy into a reality ♪

♪ 'cause you're creating your own masterpiece ♪

♪ close your eyes and dream it ♪

♪ seeing is believing ♪

♪ come on, let's write a song ♪

♪ a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart ♪

♪ life is a work of art ♪

♪ come on, let's write a song, a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart ♪

♪ life is a work of art ♪

♪ trying to simplify into philosophy ♪

♪ turn a star into a galaxy ♪

♪ make a little noise into a symphony ♪

♪ youe creating a masterpiece ♪

♪ come on let's write a song ♪

♪ a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart ♪

♪ life is a work of art... ♪

♪ come on, let's write a song, a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart life is a work of art ♪

♪ come on, let's write a song ♪

♪ a little poetry ♪

♪ take a photograph, let's make some memories ♪

♪ you can make it anything that you want it to be ♪

♪ if you follow your heart ♪

♪ life is a work of art ♪

♪ work of art ♪

♪ work of art ♪

♪ life is a work of art. ♪.

Happy Halloween, my pretties.

I have a coupon for this.

Check out her hideous witch costume.

- Um, check out her freaky witch wart. - Eww.

I'm not wearing a witch costume.

Oh my gosh, check it out. She's just ugly then.

It's gonna get ugly.

Ooh, witchy is getting twitchy.

I'm telling the manager.

Ooh, witchy is getting snitchy.

You girls are gonna pay.

Check this out.

Check it out. I'm a size zero.

- Tiny check-it-out dance? - Tiny check-it-out dance.

♪ we're the best of friends with the worst of 'tudes ♪

♪ we're the check it out girls ♪

♪ and we're checking out for you ♪

♪ check it out. ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ baby, there's something that I've got to tell you, girl ♪

♪ it just may be the most important thing in the world ♪

♪ you know that I love you and there's no one above you ♪

♪ but there is something that I love even more than you ♪

♪ it's making babies cry... ♪

♪ it makes me feel alive ♪

♪ monster peek-a-boo, it makes them go boo-hoo ♪

♪ making babies cry, your mommy waved bye-bye ♪

♪ your mommy waved bye-bye... ♪

♪ when I'm making babies cry ♪

♪ hey baby, you're thinking that I'm crazy ♪

♪ or that my reasoning is hazy ♪

♪ but I get so much joy ♪

♪ making babies cry... ♪

♪ we're just getting started ♪

♪ breaking baby's toys and make favorite noise ♪

♪ making babies cry with screaming on the side ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ making babies cry... ♪.

Baby, I know I'm not winning any popularity contests.

But this is what makes me whole.

Some guys have blogs or play checkers.

Others organize book clubs.

But me, I make tiny adorable babies.

Cry their little heads off.

♪ it's what makes me me ♪

♪ me, yeah yeah ♪

♪ oh, makes me me ♪

♪ so, baby, take my hand ♪

♪ together we will stand ♪

♪ and we can start... ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ we'll laugh until we cry ♪

♪ making babies cry, we'll do it till we die ♪

♪ can we spend all night making babies cry? ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ making babies cry ♪

♪ making babies cry... ♪

♪ wah wah. ♪.

Wahhhh! The episode's over.

Hope you enjoyed our Halloween special.

Let's hear it for all star weekend.

Oh yeah.

And give it up for our amazing guest host shaquille o'neal.

- Yeah. - Yay!

And remember, no babies or basketball players were harmed in the making of this episode.

Happy halloween, everyone.

I didn't... I just...

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