Original subtitles

This is exactly what I was afraid of if I asked you out

that I would end up either broken or broken-hearted.

I just never imagined it would be both, Sonny.

- Sonny? - What Sonny?

- You said Sonny. - I don't think so.

The patient is critical. We need to get him to the operating room Chad!

- Chad? - Huh?

I didn't say Chad.

I said stat, as in we need to get him to the operating room Chad!

Mmn, you did it again.

Um, no I don't think so.

I heard it too.

Even the dead guy heard it.

Okay, you know what? This is ridiculous.

You people are hearing things.

- I did not say Chad. - I did not say Sonny.

So what do you think was up with the slip of the tongue this morning?

- They're watching. - Yeah, I know. Act natural.

- Good call. Just follow my lead. - OK

What say you, good woman?

Were these apples freshly picked this fine morn?

I said act natural, not amish.

This is silly. Why don't we just tell people we have a date tonight?

No no, bad idea.

You know how much our shows hate each other.

If they find out we're going on a date, they may think it's okay for them.

And then...

You don't think those guys like each other, do you?

Hmm, maybe.

I mean, look at them trying to act all discreet.

Well, I happen to be a keen reader of lips. So?

Whatever Chad and Sonny are saying, they might as well be saying it right to me.

- So Chad? - No brat.

- What's the plan? - Well, I'm getting a limo.

Apparently, he's getting a pillow.

- To take us... - To stake plus...

- ..at 8:00... - He ate a sock...

- ..To a nice dinner. - And a rice dinner.

Read my lips.

You're a dope.

Terra's pope.

So, um, I'll see you tonight.

Can't wait.

Me neither.

- Ready to give them what they want? - Bring it on.

Oh, do you really have to touch all the fruit?

Oh!

Oh, look at that! Well!

Maybe someone should go find their apples elsewhere.

Maybe I will.

- Fine. - Fine!

- Good. - Good!

That's the Sonny and Chad we know.

Yup. Looks like we were worried for nothing.

Oh, this is interesting.

I just read the lunch lady's lips and apparently

she just peed in the food.

Okey-dokey, mom, lucky outfit #13 is on.

Tell me what you think.

Oh, that's the one.

- Are you even looking? - Not since lucky outfit #7.

Mom, this is important.

Honey, you have looked great in everything that you have tried on.

Just pick one and feel beautiful in it.

I just want this to be perfect.

This is my first date with Chad.

I need it to say "sophisticated, but not stuck up

cute, but still serious; interested but not too interested.

Wow. When I was your age, my clothes just said: "Be home by ten."

Which if you listen closely, yours are saying too.

A little fancy for pizza night, aren't you?

I'll call you later.

- Is pizza night tonight? - Hello, we do that after every show.

Yeah. What's the matter, Sonny?

You got something better to do?

Either your closet finally barfed up all this stuff or you're getting ready for a date.

You know what?

It is a sad day when a young lady

can't try on 12 or 13 outfits

without being accused of going on a date.

You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

Shame on you!

Yes, Grady?

So at the risk of further shame, um, are you going to be joining us for pizza?

You're in charge of the coupons.

No, I will not be joining you.

Aha!

Not because I have a date or anything,

but because I will be helping my mother

who has a sprained ankle from doing things

with that ankle and her foot that she should not have been doing.

Are we buying this, guys?

You know, I have a full drawer of coupons right over there.

- So knock yourselves out. - Oh!

- Hey, sorry we doubted you. - Shame!

I know this is hard for you.

It's just been you and me for so long.

Tonight I'm seeing someone new and you're gonna have to learn to share me.

Please don't cry. If you start cry, I'm gonna start cry.

Now look away so I can get dressed.

Too bad Sonny's got to miss pizza night.

Yeah. Pizza just won't taste the same without her.

Yes it will!

On the upside, at least we don't have to get pineapple on pizza.

Oh yeah. Who does that?

- Uh, lots of people. - They're wrong!

What's wrong with you?

Hello, boys.

It's show time.

Hello, girls.

It's toe time.

We've had some good times.

But you're new.

You've got something to prove.

Nah.

Nah.

Nah.

This would be so much easier if I was a dude.

This would be so much easier if I was an average dude.

- Good. - Too preppy.

- Better. - Trying too hard.

Rockin' it.

Not trying hard enough.

- Perfect. - Too Nico.

Too Grady.

Too Tawni, but very comfortable.

Hey, Chad, it's me.

Please call me back. I've been ready for half an hour now.

Listen, I can't wait to see you.

It's gonna be perfect.

It's wrong! It's all wrong!

Chloe, if we're going to do this, -nobody can find out.

Our secret will stay safe with me.

Then let's polka.

Oh, they make me wanna polka.

Hey, kids. This is a surprise.

You brought pizza. Come in.

Oh no, the poor woman's writhing in pain. It's worse than we thought.

What are you guys doing here?

Well, doing pretty well for someone with sprained ankle.

- The sprained ankle? - That's what Sonny said.

- Sonny said that? - Uh-huh.

Are you sure she didn't say sprayed uncle?

Cause he's in really bad shape.

The gig's up, toots. Where's Sonny?

Well, she's not with Chad. I tell you that!

She's with Chad!

Hello! Who's really for a date?

- Sonny? - I'm not snoring, I'm not...

Oh hey. I'm so sorry. I...

- I must have josed off. - I'm sorry. I'm late. I..

Wow. I thought I looked good.

Really?

I just threw this on...

Yeah. Me too.

- So? - So?

Well..

- Shall we? - We shall.

After you, m'lady.

Oh. "M'lady"? That's cute.

Wow, I can't believe we're finally doing this.

- Neither can I. - Imagine how we feel!

How could you? And on pizza night too!

We... Well. Hey guys!

What are you guys doing here?

- You two are on a date! - Oh. Shame on us?

Shame on you!

A date?

What makes you guys think we're on a date?

- What? - I don't know.

You're wearing what you think is a nice outfit.

And you're not at home taking care of your mom's fake sprained ankle.

She was faking?

And she was doing the polka.

I'll never be able to un-see that.

She must be watching this week's episode " spoiler alert: The accordion player did it.

Aw, thanks man! I that saved!

Admit it. This is a date.

W-what-- you know what?

- It is a sad night. - Sad.

...When a young lady and her smartly-dressed gentleman companion

Thank you.

..Can't be seen in a limo together without people thinking they're dating.

That's right.

We just so happen to be on our way ..

- To a dinner. - Yeah.

...For my celebrity tennis tournament.

Mm-hmm.

And you know what? We felt bad that you guys weren't invited

So we decided to be good friends and keep it a secret from you.

Are we buying this, guys?

I'd buy it more if we could get some free drinks and nuts out of it.

- Oh yeah! - Well, you know what? Here you go.

- Yay! - Here you go.

What are you doing? That's expensive!

I mean, fine. Each of you take what you can carry.

You grab the TV. I'll grab the magazine rack.

- Mm-hmm. - Wait, no.

Let me see that TV. Is that a flat-screen?

Flat-screen!

Wow, this place is amazing, Chad.

So private.

Well, I wanted to bring you someplace special.

Yoshi here is the best sushi chef is Hollywood. Yoshi, my man.

Jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish.

Oh, that's cute. Yoshi, shark.

Shark shark shark.

Man, her shark is so much cooler than my lame jellyfish.

- I'm an idiot. - I'm such an idiot.

Why did I do the shark? The jellyfish was adorable.

He's adorable.

She's adorable.

Oh, my palms are sweating. Just be cool.

So-- whoa!

Chad, are you okay?

I'm good. I'm good. I'm cool.

I'm so not cool. Water. I need water.

Ah! This isn't making me any cooler, although it is refreshing.

You know, this all looks so great.

Why don't you order since you know so much about sushi?

Oh my gosh. I forgot everything I know about sushi!

Keep drinking. Keep drinking!

Maybe she'll stop asking.

Oh my gosh. I'm boring him so much he's trying to drown himself.

- Chad? - Uh, yeah?

- Do you want to order? - She touched my hand.

I was supposed to touch her hand first. What kind of man am I?

He's not even looking at me.

Do I have something in my teeth?

Of course I don't have anything in my teeth. I haven't eaten in hours.

I'm starving!

Why won't he order?

Quit drinking. You're gonna explode!

Just tell her she makes you nervous. She'll understand.

Uh, Sonny, I need to tell you something.

Yes, Chad?

Oh, stop it, please!

No!

Oh my gosh! I can't believe he just did that!

Why am I saying this to myself?!

Oh my gosh! I can't believe he just did that!

Ew!

Hey, guys, what's going on?

Oh, I don't know. Just reading the news.

Let's see. "Celebrity kitten caught in tree".

Ooh and look at this: "Chad Dylan Cooper blows his cool on date."

I guess there's no hiding that.

A date with Chad Dylan Cooper?!

Is that all you guys care about?

What about this? Poor little kitten!

Ohh.

Okay, you know what? You're right.

I lied to you and I'm sorry. But...

My date with Chad was a big mistake and it's never gonna happen again.

So? Last night's tennis dinner went pretty well.

Yeah.

Apparently, you made a big splash.

You told them?

She didn't have to. You're all over this issue Tween Weekly.

Gimme that.

I don't have to explain anything to you people.

No, but you have some explaining to do to me.

Can I talk to you over there?

Take a rain coat, Sonny.

Yeah, 'cause a date with Chad's like going to Aquaworld

the first four rows will get wet.

Sittin' in the splash zone, sucka!

All right, I know you're upset. And I'm sorry.

How do you think I feel? I wanted this date to be perfect.

- What are they saying? - "I wanted this date to be perfect."

oh, now he's just speaking gibberish!

I got a limo. I spent three hours getting dressed.

I got a private room with my favorite chef.

Then there you are looking all beautiful with your great smile

- and those big brown eyes and.. - Aww.

--And you just ruin everything.

What? How do I ruin everything?

When I was with you in that restaurant, I turned from this very cool guy on page 17

riding his horse through Malibu canyon to this idiot on the cover who threw up on his date!

Whose fault is that?

Yours.

Chad, I was nervous too.

Not throwing-up- on-my-date nervous, but, I mean, I had butterflies.

But your butterflies aren't news while my butterflies end up on the cover!

I've got an image to protect, Sonny.

What are you getting at? You don't want to see me anymore?

Of course I want to see you. I just don't want to be seen with you.

I'm thinking date #2 should be someplace a little less public.

- What, like a cave? - That could be romantic.

Or an abandoned warehouse?

Oh, you know what? I got it! perfect.

The best way to keep us a secret is for there not to bean us.

Ooh, I like this.

Wait, no. I don't like this.

- Bye, Chad. - But Sonny...

Honey, I got you a little something that's gonna cheer you up.

Ta-da!

Mom, I'm not gonna throw up over a guy, especially one that threw up over me.

Watch.

"MacKENZIE FALLS" Season 1?

Done.

Season 2?

Adieu.

You want to try? Feels good.

Season 3?

What is he doing here?

No no, honey. The rhyme is the fun part.

No. Chad. What is he doing here?

Open the window!

Open the window!

Chad, what are you doing?

Orman wouldn't let me in.

Which means he's doing his job.

Sonny, he's on a rope, and appears to be slipping.

Fine.

Ah.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'm good.

It's a little chilly out there.

Trust me. It's colder in here.

Am I right? Up top.

See, I told you.

Okay, I'll just leave you two alone.

Sonny, please.

I've been thinking about what you said and you were right.

You-- you threw away season 3?

I got a tweople's choice award for season 3.

That was my finest-- wait. it's not about me.

- It's not about me. - You know what? it is.

It's always about you and how cool you are and how you look.

That's never gonna change.

It is.

It already has.

You know what, Chad? Why don't you just leave the way you came in?

Fine.

But if you don't mind, I think I'll take this window.

Oh my gosh.

"Chad is a fool for Sonny"?

I wanted the world to know.

I want you to know that I want to be seen with you

anywhere, anytime, no matter how goofy your big brown eyes make me.

Wow. I don't know what to say.

How about yes?

To what?

To giving our first date a second chance.

Oh, just say yes already!

Yes.

- Shall we? - We shall.

This table okay, m'lady?

Yeah, it's great.

- But it is a bit drafty. - Ooh, here.

Yoshi, my man.

This is the coolest second first date I've ever been on.

Well, I'm glad you like it.

But it's not perfect yet.

It's not perfect? What do you mean it's not perfect?

Well, the stars are out, which is nice.

The view is amazing, which is great.

And you're here, which makes me happy. But...

I don't know. Something's just missing.

What is it? What's missing? Oh no!

Well-- okay, relax.

Easy on the water.

You know? I just thought if you're not afraid of how the world sees you

then I shouldn't be afraid of how my friends see me.

What are they doing here?

- What are they doing here? - I texted them.

Worst pizza night ever!

Show's over, kids.

To us?

To us.

He's adorable.

I'm back, baby!

We will never be cool with this!

Ever!

Good good good!

Now he really looks like a fool.

Yeah.

Hey, geniuses, isn't that the whole point of this sign?

Hey, guys, you made it even better.

Ooh, let's get out of here.

What?

What is this?

It's the bill for their date.

Who's the fool now, suckas?

Hey, Sonny? Would you have any coupons for this?

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