Original subtitles

Are you ready to get So Random?

Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to "Granny Slam"!

In this corner, weighing in at 97 lbs,

And that includes the purse,

Mean Grandma Shirlene!

And in this corner, with 42 cats

And only one litter box,

Nana "the Scooper" Hooper.

Now, Round 1,

Complaining.

Ooh, my back hurts!

Oh, turn off that racket!

Put that on a coaster!

Ooh, my girdle is too tight!

Ew, what's that smell?

Happy birthday. did you get my $5 check?

Someone's at the door!

My cookies are done!

Watch out. Surely now!

Round 2. Bragging.

My grandson calls me every week.

Well, my grandson, he calls me every day.

Well, my grandson's a doctor.

My grandson,

He's a doctor and a lawyer.

-That's my grandson now. -No, that's my grandson.

Round 3. Talking too loud at the movies.

He's the bad guy!

What did he just say?

The picture is fuzzy.

My grandson's a doctor.

Looks like Nana Hooper is down.

Shirlene is down too.

See you next time on

"Granny Slam"!

Off to the races, I'm going places

Might be a long shot, not gonna waste it

This is the big break and it's calling my name

So far, so great, get with it

At least that's how I see it

Having a dream is just the beginning

So far, so great, believe it

Can't take away this feeling

Taking a ride with chance on my side

Yeah, I can't wait

So far, so great,

So far, so great

Sonny With a Chance S01E08 Fast Friends

These are the greatest sandwiches ever.

I love Meatball Monday!

Here's a little Tawni tip for you:

It's even tastier if some of it lands in your mouth.

Yeah, well, I'm saving this for later.

Yeah, I'd like to see you eat one

of these sandwiches and stay clean.

It's easy if you use

Tawni Hart's patented bite, wipe and gloss.

Bite,

Wipe, and gloss.

Okay, now you try.

Bite... mmm...

Wipe...

And sauce!

Hey, guys.

Hey, have a seat! Meatball Monday!

Meatball Monday!

I'd love to, but I can't.

Aren't you gonna ask why I can't get meatballs

All over this really cute outfit?

That you've never seen before?

That I'm clearly wearing for a reason?

Okay okay, get off my back. I'll tell you.

Okay, well, you know that entertainment

show called "Tween Weekly TV"?

Hosted by Santiago Geraldo.

Exactly. Well, they're doing a feature on me.

Oh, very cool, Sonny.

Let me guess. It's one of those

let's-follow-the-new-girl-around stories.

It is.

Which brings us to Tawni Tip Number 2:

Watch what you say, because you don't wanna look bad on camera.

Oh, I'll be fine.

You sure you don't want some?

Well, maybe just one little bite.

One girl, one meatball,

One quick thought?

Hi, mom.

For "Tween Weekly TV," I'm Santiago Geraldo.

How's the online auction going?

- Zero bids, zero money. - I don't get it.

I thought the public loves to buy celebrity junk.

I think the problem is we don't have the right celebrity.

Or the right junk.

- I told you to wash those socks. - I did.

- Did you presoak? - Ooh.

- I told you to presoak. - Okay, fine!

- I should've presoaked. - Yeah.

I just want us to raise enough money to buy that new gaming system.

The YBox 4000.

- 18-button controllers. - 40-gigabit graphics.

$1,200.

That we don't have.

Yet.

Good idea. Eat first, think later.

- No no no. - You're right. Bib.

No no no. No bib.

- Why? - We're not eating it.

We're selling it.

One authentic, half-eaten meatball sandwich

straight from the lips of TV celebrity Tawni Hart.

Dude, there's lip gloss on it.

No, no, no! That's Tawni gloss.

We can charge even more.

- Ahh. - To the internet!

So who is Sonny Munroe?

And is she as nice as everyone says she is?

Aww, someone said I was nice?

That's so nice! I should thank them,

Maybe send some scented candles.

See? Right there.

Nice.

There's that clown from "Tween Weekly TV."

You know, after he did that story on me

that made me look like a jerk,

People think I look like a jerk. You think I'm a jerk?

Sure, I shoved a dog once, okay? But it was not my fault.

Okay? It was slobbering all over me and I shoved it away.

And now I'm America's most-hated puppy-shover.

Man, I have got to figure out a way

to make people think I'm nicer than I actually am.

How?

You're right.

Oh my gosh, that's brilliant.

This is the perfect opportunity.

Thank you. I owe you one.

Pay for this, will you?

You know, it really is a team effort over here at "So Random,"

Because there is no "I" in team.

Of course, team spelled backwards is meat.

I'm sorry. What was the question?

Where are you from?

Wisconsin,

And there's two I's in that.

Hey, Sonny, happy Meatball Monday.

Just brought you some extra napkins.

Oh, thanks, Chad. That was oddly thoughtful of you.

Well, it never hurts to be nice.

Oh, Santiago, my man.

Didn't see you there.

I am so sorry. Are you guys in the middle of an interview?

What was your first clue? The interviewer or the camera?

- Why don't you join us? - Don't mind if I do.

Hold up. So nice girl from Wisconsin

is tight with the Hollywood bad boy?

- Well, I wouldn't say we were-- - We're very good friends.

Actually, we can't stand each other.

This is the kind of fun we get to have every day.

Which apparently is starting today.

Isn't she adorable?

That's why Sonny's my favorite member of "So Random."

- Really? - Yes, really.

Santiago, you are lucky to be getting this interview.

This girl's going places.

Ooh, speaking of, I gotta go.

Let me guess,

You got some dogs to shove?

Yes.

Shoving the dogs towards

bowls of food that I lovingly laid out for them.

You know why? I love puppies.

Wow. Compliments, kindness--

I'm really impressed, Chad.

Oh, it's not about me, Sonny.

It's about the dogs.

It's just something I like to do that says, "Chad cares."

Catch you later.

Wow, that's a side of him I've never seen before.

That's because it's a side that doesn't exist.

Oh, I don't know about that, Santiago.

You know, when Chad wants to,

He can be a really great guy.

Interesting.

Nice girl takes the bait from bad boy.

Where will this story take us next?

Oh, my dressing room. You guys will love this.

On my way to the dressing room.

I'm Santiago Geraldo.

And I'm Sonny Munroe.

Can you believe this?

A few weeks ago, you were just

A small-town girl living in Wisconsin.

I know.

You know, I was just watching "So Random" in my tiny bedroom

And now I'm sharing a dressing room with Tawni Hart.

- It's gotta be exciting for you. - Oh, it is.

So what's a typical week for you and Tawni?

Oh, um...

Well, Mondays are great.

Tuesdays are hard.

Wednesdays are awkward.

And Thursdays are awkward 'cause

we're still getting over Wednesdays.

But Fridays--

Knock knock. Guess who?

What are you doing here?

I said I'd catch you later.

It's later and I'm catching you.

Okay.

Who's this and does this cute little guy have a name?

Yeah, it's cupcake.

He's one of the hungry dogs I feed.

Oh my gosh, the camera's are here. I've done it again.

Well, can I hold him?

- Of course. - Aww.

- He's so cute. - When I saw him, I thought of you.

- That's a compliment, right? - Of course.

I have to admit, I'm starting to like the new you.

It's not new. It's just me.

People think they know me but they don't.

Guys, we're having a little problem with the camera.

Let's go to the truck.

Oh, I gotta go.

Wait, what are you doing? You just got here.

Yeah and now I'm just leaving. Bye.

Wait. You're not just leaving because the camera broke.

Oh my gosh, you're leaving because the camera broke.

No, that's not the only reason.

Let me guess. The dog's a rental?

Oh my gosh, the dog's a rental.

It's not that big a deal.

Look, you can rent anything in this town.

If I'd been getting bad press because I shoved an old lady,

could've rented an old lady.

Wait a minute.

The cafeteria, the puppy,

The you catching me later,

You were just using me to make yourself look better.

I'm such an idiot.

No you're not. Look at how fast you figured that out.

You are unbelievable.

You know, I'm not surprised that you used me,

But to use this poor, sweet defenseless dog?

I'm not using it for free.

This thing's costing me $60 an hour.

You you

You poser!

You are the most shallow, self-absorbed,

conceited jerkface that I've ever met.

And you know what? This is my room,

And this is my interview and this is my foot,

Which is gonna kick you in the butt if you don't get out of here.

Oh, man, this is great.

You were filming that?

Oh, yes.

But I thought the camera broke.

This is a different camera.

How much of that did you get?

Just the part where she went all diva crazy on you.

And it hurts so much.

You monster.

Sorry you had to see that, Cupcake.

This is the worst Meatball Monday ever.

So who is Sonny Munroe

And is she as nice as everyone says she is?

Dude, we just made $300 on Tawni's half-eaten sandwich.

Really?

My friend, there's three things I will never lie to you about:

Money, videogames and what's in my pants.

- What's in your pants? - Cheese!

All right.

-You-- you-- you poser! - No way, no way.

You are the most shallow, self-absorbed,

conceited jerkface that I've ever met.

And you know what? This is my room,

And this is my interview and this is my foot,

An out-of-control diva,

A broken heartthrob,

And the innocent puppy caught in the middle.

Where will this story lead?

Reporting from the once- animal-friendly set of "So Random,"

I'm Santiago Geraldo.

An out-of-control diva? I'm an out-of-control diva?

See, I'm an in-control diva,

which is why this will never happen to me.

This is so unfair. They didn't even show everything.

Whoa, you mean there's worse stuff?

No, I mean they only showed the part that made me look bad.

Well, you definitely looked bad.

Well, I know I sounded bad,

But I did look pretty cute in my outfit, right?

Personally, I'm impressed.

I didn't know you had so much rage.

- I don't have rage! - Whoa!

Okay, whatever you say.

- Please don't hurt us. - Yeah.

Whoo-hoo, I warned you to watch what you say,

Or they could make you look bad.

Why do you sound so excited?

Because this is the part where I get to say I told you so.

All right, fine, get it out of the way.

No, I'm not ready yet.

I'm waiting for just the right moment.

Just say it already!

Would you stop provoking her?

Don't you see how explosive she is?

I'm not explosive!

This is so unfair.

Chad hurt my feelings and then I blew my top,

And now everyone thinks that I'm the bad guy.

Sweetie, I know how to fix this

But you have to say the magic words.

"You told me so"?

I did, didn't I?

I just love being right so much.

Come on.

Celebrity snot.

- Turning green into green. - To the internet!

What we're doing right now is called damage control.

Now that you've become one of the most

hated people in all of Hollywood.

You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Yep.

First you need to hold a press conference

where you'll admit you have an anger problem.

I don't have an anger problem.

You'll also admit to having a denial problem.

This is ridiculous.

I'm not doing either of those things.

In fact, I'm going down to the cafeteria

And I'm getting Chad to clear my name.

- Ooh, I'll come with. - To support me?

Please, it's Taquito Tuesday.

How's the coast?

- The coast is clear. - All right.

Okay, so remember,

We're only taking Tawni's trash.

Anything here look like trash?

Dude, I'm a boy.

This is all trash to me.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna lie. Sonny hurt me,

But worse, she did it in front of my puppy.

I mean, do you know what it feels like

to be talked to like you're completely invisible?

You know what? Don't answer that.

There he is.

There she is. There's the monster.

Stop it!

Okay, I'm going in and I'm making him clear my name.

Cover me.

Eat carbs, you animals!

- Chad. - Don't go anywhere.

No, I may need a witness.

I'm not going to yell at you or lose my temper.

- I thought you were gonna cover me! - Stop yelling at me!

Can I have that seat?

Wow, you are working the diva thing.

- I'm not a diva, Chad. - I know that.

Well, then tell Santiago.

I want people to know me for who I am.

And I want people to know me for who I'm not.

I like you,

And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.

It's your fault.

Is it, Sonny?

Is it really?

Yes, it is. Really.

Yeah, I gotta go.

I told Santiago I was gonna be building doghouses

for homeless dogs in the morning.

You build doghouses?

No no,

But I know how to make myself

look good in front of the camera.

How do you get through to someone

who uses other people to make himself look good?

Fight fire with fire. That's it.

You know, you don't really say much,

but you say a lot.

So this is the park where as you can see,

I build my houses for homeless dogs.

Very nice. Very giving.

- Very-- - Oh, hey, Chad.

Wow, is this the house you've been building for the homeless dogs?

- Impressive. - What are you doing?

Oh, Chompers and I just stopped

by to bring you some extra nails.

We knew you were building doghouses.

You know, never hurts to be nice.

Santiago, my man.

I didn't see you there.

Oh my gosh. Are you in the middle of an interview?

I am so sorry.

I know what you're doing.

Do you, Chad? Do you really?

Okay, well, let's get to building.

Can an out-of-control diva be

trusted with a hammer and nails?

Stay tuned.

Come on, come on, go go go!

- Yeah! - Grady.

You wouldn't happen to know

What happened to everything I own?

No.

It just seems that every time I lose something,

You suddenly get something.

Uncanny coincidence.

Uncanny!

Where's the other doofus?

Dude, fire up the computer.

The dumpster was filled with all this great Tawni trash.

Nico, Nico, I have no idea.

What you are talking about.

Oh, I also have no idea.

What I'm talking about.

Well, I know what you're talking about.

-It was his fault! - Guys, guys,

It really doesn't matter whose fault it was.

You're both gonna pay.

Well, we're two hours into it.

Let's take a look at those houses.

It's not about the houses, Santiago.

It's all about the dogs.

- Right, Chad? - Right.

If it were all about the houses, it would be no contest.

So is this all just a contest to you?

What? No no.

Out-of-control diva also an overcompetitive diva.

Reporting for "Tween Weekly TV,"

I'm Santiago Geraldo.

- I give up. - Hey, you tried.

You tried to make me look bad and you just couldn't.

You're just too nice,

And I'm too good at pretending to be nice.

I thought I could do to you what you did to me,

But I guess I can't play this game as well as you can.

I have to give you props.

Yeah well, props accepted.

I mean, the way I suckered you into letting me use your press

to make me look better?

I was brilliant.

Well, you do do some of your best work on camera.

- What do you mean? - You're on camera.

Smile into my hat.

You didn't.

But I did.

Bad girl revealed to be good.

Heartthrob revealed to be jerkthrob.

On her way to Santiago Geraldo,

I'm Sonny Munroe.

Well played, Munroe.

Props accepted.

We should hang out sometime.

- The camera's off, Chad. - I know.

Oh, I'm guessing that one's from the big dog.

Bite,

Wipe,

And gloss.

How much longer are we gonna have to do this?

Bite,

Wipe,

And gloss.

I wouldn't complain. She could make this a lot worse.

Yeah? I can't imagine how.

Now floss!

Don't be scared.

Made for Sis

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