Original subtitles

(ominous music)

(woman shrieking)

(women screaming)

(women sobbing)

- Please...

(women shrieking)

- Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas!

(chainsaw buzzing)

(screaming)

(ominous Christmas music)

Ho, ho, ho!

(intense music)

(coughing)

- Yes, sir, I assure you,

we will be ready to vacate by January 2nd,

and Crandle will execute the final shutdown,

and he will leave the property finally.

- [Man] As he was ordered.

- Yes, as ordered.

- [Man] So, what about security?

- Yes, and I have Security Tom coming in early.

He and I are gonna spend some extra time

just going over all the points of entry in detail.

No, and you believe me, sir.

I mean, we'll have all bases covered.

And just like the last four years,

it will be a silent night here

at the Harris County Water Plant.

(chuckling)

- [Man] Young lady, are you making light of what happened that night?

- No, I'm sorry.

No, I'm not trying to make light

of the situation at all, sir.

The events were horrific, yes.

- [Man] People died!

- And my heart goes out to those families.

- [Man] You need to have compassion

on those poor, innocent girls.

- Mhm.

- [Man] And pray for their families.

- And we pray.

- [Man] Especially during this Christmas time.

- And thank you so much.

And to you, a Merry Christmas.

(laughing) - [Man] Merry Christmas, Nicole.

(forced laughter)

- Well, way to go, Nicole!

You botched that one.

You know...

Not only did you remind the man

of the worst night of his life,

but the worst night in the history of this county.

(Nicole sighs)

Oh, and I could probably kiss that promotion goodbye.

(ominous music) (Nicole gasps)

What the hell is wrong with you?

You know, they don't call you Creepy Crandle for nothing!

(intense music)

(phone ringing)

Harris County Water Plant.

- [Dale] Nicole!

- What do you want, Dale?

- [Dale] I know you're not banging- - Okay, okay, hold on, hang on.

I was drunk, first of all, okay?

And for the record, what I said was,

if I was gonna bang me a grandpa,

it's gonna be a sexy grandpa.

And guess what?

Tom's a sexy grandpa.

Okay?

- [Dale] I'm gonna kill him. - Don't you dare, Dale.

Don't you touch one tiny little beautiful

silver hair on Tom's head, because you know what?

Who do you think protects your brand new cars

that are sitting over here that you stole from the dealership?

Huh? Oh, oh, oh, and guess who?

It's all thanks to who?

Your beautiful, loving wife, you fucking asshole!

- [Dale] And I'm coming down there, I'm gonna teach you a lesson.

- Oh really?

Oh really?

Well, I'd like to see you try, Dale.

I'd like to see you try.

And I will see you at 5:30 for dinner like we planned.

Got it?

(phone clanging)

Hey, Crandle!

Crandle.

Crandle.

God damn it.

Hey, give me a damn cigarette.

- I thought you quit.

- Shut up!

You know, I hate Christmas.

I hate working here on Christmas...

I hate everything about Christmas.

And I hope they burn this place to the ground.

(tense music)

I hate everything about this place.

What's wrong with you?

(ominous music)

All right, well, great talk.

Weirdo.

(birds chirping) (ominous music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

(intense music)

(women screaming)

(alarm ringing)

- Damn it.

(steam billowing)

- [Man] Authenticity lives in the truth.

And to be 100% true to yourself and your craft,

you must always be in the moment.

You mustn't put any pressure or focus

on the results of your creative tools.

That will lead you down the road of fear based thinking,

making you forget who you truly are,

and how to simply be you.

What most actors do not realize

is the art of acting happens while you are acting.

The key is to put your focus on the happening.

The only acting technique I believe in

is called honesty.

For example, a giraffe is always a giraffe.

Sometimes they sleep, eat, or even make love,

but they are always first and foremost, a giraffe.

My advice to every human, every actor, every child,

be your own giraffe.

That is how I hone my craft.

And the proof of my amazing approach

is you are listening to my words right now.

(mysterious music)

(knocking)

(door shuts)

- Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

(ominous music)

- [Nicole] Can I help you?

- What the hell is wrong with you, lady?

- What's wrong with me? You're the one sneaking around an office

you shouldn't be in.

- I'm the security guard!

- Uh, no you're not.

- Yes, ma'am.

Officer Jordan reporting for duty.

- Where's Tom?

- He asked for the night off.

- Is that right?

- Yes, ma'am.

It's Christmas Eve, he asked if he could be at home

with his kids.

- He didn't mention any of that to me.

- Um, it was last minute.

He called me, and off the record,

he said he and his wife were having some issues

in their marriage,

and he really felt like he needed to be home this year.

So... - And so, what, you just volunteered

to work Christmas Eve here?

- Well, yeah.

My brother, he's the only family I got,

and he's working tonight.

So I figured, sure, I'll do the guy a solid.

- Well, aren't you just a damn saint.

- Well, yeah.

I try to do the right thing when I can.

- Okay, well, why don't you start by wearing

the proper uniform when you show up?

- Uh...

'Cause it's so hot.

This heat, I'm just not getting used to it.

I don't know how you people do it, it's killin' me.

- Yeah, well, I could tell you're not from around here.

- Yeah.

Just moved up a few months ago. It seems like a great place.

- It sucks.

- Well, the people seem friendly.

- They suck too.

- Well, I'm not gonna be here for long.

I got big plans, I'm moving to Los Angeles.

- Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Look, I don't care.

Do I look like I care? So, I'm late for dinner plans,

and I'm not gonna be more late

showing you all around this place.

So, just listen up.

Stay out of the main plant,

there's nothing for you in there, so don't go...

Don't even look over there, okay?

Don't even look over there.

- [Jordan] Okay.

- Okay, you've got two jobs tonight.

One, check the perimeter and make sure

that it's completely secure once every hour.

Okay?

Trespassers are a pain in the ass around here,

especially tonight, because...

So, number two, don't let anybody die.

God.

Help yourself to coffee

and those stale ass Christmas cookies.

The bathroom's back there.

- Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

- Oh, and tell Tom I will deal with his ass later.

(door slams)

(dramatic music)

(coughing)

- You shouldn't be out here.

(Jordan yells)

- Sorry, I was just trying to get a lay of the land.

- I handle the land.

You stay in that office.

- Hey, wait.

I'm Jordan.

I'm filling in for Security Tom tonight.

- Crandle.

I run this place.

- Yeah, no one told me you were here, so,

I figured it being Christmas

I'd be out here all alone.

(chuckling)

- You're never alone out here.

- Hey, wait up!

Would you mind showing me around the place,

give me a tour?

- No.

- Please?

I don't know where anything is.

- Just stay inside!

- Or what?

(tense music)

- Bad things happen on this land.

You don't want to be here when they do.

Inside.

(tense music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- Hello?

(ominous music)

I could hear you out there.

You don't want to get caught messing around here.

(ominous music)

- [Man] Ho ho ho!

(dramatic music)

(tires screech)

(knocking)

- Open the door now!

Open it now!

Where is she?

- [Jordan] Who?

- Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole!

Nicole! - [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

- Where is she?

- Who? - Where is she?

- I don't know who you're talking about!

- My wife! - I got no idea, man!

- Boy, don't lie to me!

- I'm not lying man, you're killin' me!

- That's the point!

- I didn't do nothin' to ya!

- Her sister said she's banging Tom the Security Guy,

and you're the security guy, right?

- No!

I'm Jordan!

Tom took the night off, check my ID!

- You're lying!

- No, no, check my ID!

- Give it to me!

You seen her?

Yeah, she hurried out of here a few hours ago.

- She say where she was going?

- Something about dinner?

- She never showed.

- Have you checked Tom's house?

- Boy, I'm gonna crush your fuckin' skull!

- No, no, no, no, I didn't mean it like that,

sorry, I just, you know,

she's not where she's supposed to be,

he's not here, you know, one plus one equals two.

- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Hey man, my bad.

Merry Christmas.

- Yeah, Merry Christmas.

(woman screaming)

(ominous music)

- Nicole?

Nicole.

(ominous music)

Nicole?

Nicole!

Nicole?

(ominous music)

Nicole.

(gurgling)

(dramatic music)

- I saw you in the window that time, Sneaky Pete.

What could I do for ya?

- I just heard from a cop friend of mine.

Says they got a girl gone missing from town.

- Gone missing how?

- Snatched out of her own home.

- [Newscaster] Tomorrow night's lows in the 50s,

cool and breezy through Wednesday...

(doorbell rings) (ominous music)

- A young, pretty thing, he said.

- Hello?

(door slams)

What the fuck?

(woman screams)

(ominous music)

- On Christmas Eve.

Wow, that's terrible.

- That's how it started before.

- How what started?

- You don't know.

- Know about what?

- The Harris County Massacre.

- I never heard about it.

- Then you should leave.

Now.

- I can't just leave.

- Then be prepared for what's about to come.

- And what's that exactly?

- Evil.

Pure evil.

(ominous music)

(radio chatter)

- [Reporter] Police aren't saying much,

but they did say this is suspicious in nature,

and they're taking it very seriously.

They will not say if they believe

this is a kidnapping at this time,

or if they feel a crime of any kind has occurred.

They're asking for any information the public may have

to be passed along to Detective Branson.

The tip line to call is 1-888-555-1814,

and they are asking people to please remain calm

and not overreact.

Nothing about these circumstances leads them to believe

this is connected to any unsolved crimes in the area.

I'm Daniel Grayhorn, and that's your local news update.

(intense music)

(door slams)

- I know you're out there, you son of a bitch.

(tense music)

Let's dance.

(intense music)

What the hell are you doing outside?

- I was just grabbing my book.

- Get back inside, and lock the doors.

I can't protect you out here.

- Protect me from what?

(woman screaming)

(mysterious music)

(door slams)

(Jordan screams)

(heavy breathing)

Come here.

- Where is he? Where is he? - Who?

- Oh my god, he was just here.

He whispered something to us

and then he just disappeared.

- Us?

- Yeah.

There was another guy here, I don't know who he was, but he was hurt really, really badly.

We were wrapped together and then he just dragged him away.

My God, I thought you guys were coming to kill me next.

Please, please, don't let me die, please.

- No one's gonna let you die, okay?

No one's gonna die.

(water splashes)

- Stay with her.

(ominous music)

(water splashing)

- What did he whisper to you?

The guy, you said he whispered something.

What was it?

- Oh my god.

(dramatic music)

- Let's go.

- What did he whisper to you?

- "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas".

(ominous music)

- Get inside.

(suspenseful music)

Get in the corner.

Stay down!

(tense music)

If anyone comes in that door,

you smash that over their head and slice their throat.

You got it?

- Yeah, got it.

(tense music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- Do you think we're safe in here?

- I don't know.

(tense music)

- I don't wanna die in here,

please don't let me die.

- Hey, no one's gonna die.

Okay?

What are you doing?

Stay down!

- We need to call 9-1-1!

- No, no, we have to stay down.

We'll call 9-1-1 when he comes back.

- No, we need to do it now! - No, listen to me!

He said stay down, okay?

We don't know who's lurking out there

and what he can see.

Crandle has the gun, we wait for him to get back,

then we'll call.

- You're a security guard, why don't you have a gun?

- No, I'm just a damn gate guard,

they don't give guys like me guns.

(woman sobbing)

Stop, hey, hey.

Just calm down, okay?

Everything's gonna be fine.

- No, it's not.

Both of you need to get as far away

from this place as you can.

Let's go.

- Wait!

- No.

No cops.

Not yet.

- Why the hell not?

- I have to finish this myself.

- What the hell are you talking about?

There's a killer out there.

- Yeah, there is.

And tonight I make him pay for what he did.

No cops.

Please.

- Fine.

But let me get her out of here

and come back and help you.

- No.

- Why not?

- Do you got plans for 2020?

- Yeah.

- I don't.

Let's go.

(ominous music)

Get outta here as fast as you can.

Don't stop for anyone, no matter what.

- Hey, Crandle.

Merry Christmas.

(ominous music)

- Wait.

He's really not coming with us?

- No.

Buckle up.

(dramatic music)

Let me check it out first, okay?

(gate clanging)

Hello?

Hello?

(tense music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- What is it?

- I can't open the gate.

- What?

- I don't have the keys to unlock it.

- You're the god damn gate guard,

how do you not have keys?

- It's my first night, they didn't give me any.

- Okay, then back your truck up and then just go through the stupid fence.

- Are you crazy? Look. - Who cares?

Do it anyway!

- There's no way!

- Oh my god, they do it in movies all the time.

- Okay, that's make believe.

And professional stunt performers

do that kind of stuff, not me.

- Will you please just try it?

Because we need to get out of here now.

- It is super dangerous,

and it can disable the car.

Then what are we gonna do?

Huh?

You and me are gonna trek 15-20 miles through the woods

with a killer chasing us down?

(woman crying)

I know you're scared, but we've got to find another way.

- What?

- I bet you those keys are in the office.

- No, no, please don't make me go back there, please.

- Let me run in.

If I can't find any, we come back down here,

and we'll try it your way.

Deal?

(tense music)

(sobbing)

- I'll be quick.

- Okay, but please be careful.

- Just lock the doors behind me.

(tense music)

- Crandle!

Come get me!

Crandle!

Oh, thank God, Crandle, please help me.

Just get me out of here.

Just hurry up! - Quit it!

- Just get me out. - Hey, stop that!

I am gonna help you.

But first you're gonna help me.

- Do I look like I can help you right-

- Hey!

He's waiting.

- What?

- He's waiting for 12:01.

Officially Christmas morning.

- What the hell are you talking about, Crandle?

What are you talking about?

- Hush it.

He's gonna come back for his gift.

This time I'll be waiting.

And I'm gonna kill the bastard.

- What are the hell are you talking about?

What gift, Crandle?

- You.

- No, Crandle, wait!

Crandle, please. Crandle, don't leave me here.

I'm just...

(muffled yelling)

(tense music)

(cabinets clanging)

(panicked breathing)

(ominous music)

(sobbing)

(screaming)

(suspenseful music)

- Ho, ho, ho!

(tense music)

Ho, ho, ho!

(woman gasps)

- It's gotta be one of these.

What happened?

- I saw someone out there.

- Was it him?

- No.

- Who was it?

- I don't, but he looked bad.

He looked really bad.

- Where?

- It looked like he was coming up from the lake over there.

And he was like, like...

- Hey, hey, it's okay.

Just tell me what you saw.

- [Woman] He was covered in so much blood,

and he was trying to walk up here,

and I started to help him but, oh god...

I froze, I just froze!

And I was so scared, I couldn't go out there,

I was too afraid to be out there

by myself all alone.

And...

- Where did he go?

- I don't know, but he was just staring straight at me,

and then all of a sudden he turned and he left.

He walked away and then...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

- We have to find him.

Stay close to me, okay?

Stay real close.

(suspenseful music)

(glass breaks)

(muffled yelling)

(tense music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

(mysterious music)

- Wait here.

(dramatic music)

- Hey, hey...

(tense music)

- Stay back.

(dramatic music) (screaming)

Hey.

Hey, just breathe, okay?

Calm down.

- It wasn't- - No, it's not-

- It's not him. - It's not your fault, okay?

- No, the man I saw, that wasn't him.

- [Jordan] What?

- It was hard for me to see,

but he had white hair, he was older.

We have to find him, we have to find him!

- Okay.

Okay, we will.

All right, come on.

Come on.

(tense music)

- Crandle, you are an asshole!

- You're gonna do exactly what I say

and when I say it.

You understand me?

Good.

- Get in.

Get in!

I'll be right back.

- No, no, please don't leave me.

Please.

- Hey.

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, run.

Just run.

(truck door shuts)

- Stay right behind me.

- Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice.

(tense music)

(door creaks)

(ominous music)

(woman shrieks)

- Hurry, come on.

I think I saw the killer, we gotta go.

Come on, come on.

(tense music)

Move, come on!

(panicked breathing)

- Come on, let's go!

- It won't start!

- What?

Why?

What's wrong? - I don't know!

- What's wrong? - I don't know!

- Oh my god.

Oh my god!

(tense music)

Oh my god!

- Hey, hey, hey.

(woman shrieking) Listen to me.

Listen to me!

We gotta make a run for it.

Right now, right now.

Go!

(suspenseful music)

- Take this.

All right, I need you to listen to me.

Go to the office, dial 9-1-1,

then lock yourself in the bathroom.

Don't come out for anyone other than me or the police.

You got it?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Go.

(ominous music)

- It's okay, here.

- Okay, okay.

(tense music)

Hurry up!

- I'm going as fast as I can.

(tense music)

- Ho, ho, ho!

(dramatic music)

- Crandle, he's on the roof!

- Who was that?

- Here.

Take these.

It's gotta be one of those.

You get out of here, you find a house,

you find a store, you find something with lights on

and you call 9-1-1.

You get the cops here now, okay?

- What are you gonna do?

- Just go.

He needs my help.

(tense music)

(heavy breathing)

- Hello?

Hello?

(radio static)

Anybody, please, please, pick up.

Piece of shit!

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

(tense music)

♪ Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ♪

(gun fires)

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

- You want to play games?

I'll play your fuckin' games!

(Crandle yells)

(panicked breathing)

- Jordan.

Jordan, is that you?

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- No, no, no, no, no, no!

- Oh, fuck this!

(tense music)

Okay.

Come and get it.

- Ho, ho, ho! (Nicole screams)

(tense music)

(screaming)

- Oh my god!

- Nicole!

- Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.

What did you do?

- What did I do?

I found him like this, I didn't do anything.

I was trying to help.

- Yeah right!

You did this, you did this!

- I promise you, I didn't do anything, okay?

I don't know what is happening,

but we need to find Crandle,

and we need to get out of here now.

- Back up, you just back up!

- Listen to me!

- Back up, no, back up, back up!

(Jordan yells)

- Nicole!

It's not safe for you out there!

(tense music)

(cat snarling) (glass breaks)

- Crandle.

Crandle, please help me!

(heavy breathing)

Dale, Dale?

(tense music)

Dale.

Are you out here, Dale?

(Nicole grunting)

- Nicole?

Nicole?

(shower running)

Nicole, it's me.

I'm coming in.

(door creaking) (tense music)

(shower running)

(bells jingling) (groaning)

- Nicole.

- No, no, you stay the hell away from me!

- Look it, look! - No, no!

- I have the keys, I just don't know which one it is!

- I don't care!

- I found these!

Just tell me which key it is.

- Fine, it's the one in the center, it's small.

It says "master", just hurry up,

get me out of here.

Where's Crandle?

- I don't know, I couldn't find him.

- What do you mean you couldn't find him?

- I tried, okay?

It's a big place, I don't know my way around!

(woman shrieking)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- No, no, no, no.

No, no, please, please, please.

I didn't do anything!

Please, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

(tense music)

- Nicole!

- Crandle?

Crandle, we're at the fence.

(woman shrieks)

(sobbing)

- Nicole!

- [Man] Shh.

- No, no, no!

- Nicole!

(tense music)

- No, no, please, no!

Please, please, please!

Please!

(muffled screaming)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no!

(panicked shrieking)

Please, please, please, please.

(tense music) (woman sobbing)

Please, please, please!

(woman yelling)

(panicked yelps)

(drill whirring)

Please, no!

(woman yells)

(tense music)

- Nicole!

(tense music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, wake up.

Hey, come on, wake up.

Please wake up.

(woman gasps)

- Get me out of here!

(woman sobbing)

Please get me out.

- Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

I got you.

- Please hurry.

- I am, I am.

- It's him.

- Yeah, I know it's him.

- No, it's him.

- Who?

- Jordan.

I saw it in his eyes.

I've been trying to place it,

where I've seen it before.

I just kept staring at him.

It's been in front of my eyes this whole time.

I'm so stupid.

- No.

No, you're not.

You're not stupid, he's stupid for coming back here.

'Cause when I get you loose,

you're gonna help me.

- Help you with what?

- Kill that son of a bitch.

Okay?

- Okay.

(tense music) (arrow flies)

(gurgling)

- I'm sorry.

(dramatic music)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

- You have an interesting palette

in your taste of men, Nicole.

And honestly, I am so surprised

that that maniac husband of yours

didn't kill you a long time ago.

He has got some anger issues.

(chuckling)

Had.

You know, I can't blame the guy.

If I was married to a lying bitch,

I'd probably kill you too.

You do know that adultery is a sin, right?

Yeah, of course you do.

Everyone does.

Just seems like nowadays people don't care, do they?

Oh, oh, oh, I bet you care now.

Yeah, I bet you're sitting here,

and you know that imminent death is upon you,

so you're probably thinking...

"If there is a heaven, there is no way

that my whoring ass is going to get in."

But if there is a hell,

if there is this burning inferno,

then you are going straight there.

Yes.

(laughing)

I'm just messing with you.

I'm actually not religious at all.

I did read the Bible once though.

And well, just a little bit of it,

a couple of pages.

But there was this one thing that stood out,

and it said...

"Thou shall not judge, lest ye be judged."

Hm.

And between you and me, I have done some

horrible, horrible shit in my life,

and I don't want anyone judging me for anything.

Actually, that's not true.

I do want you to judge me for something.

My performance, when you found me

with ol' one armed Tom.

Oh, he was an early Christmas gift.

I did not anticipate seeing him again.

He just kinda stumbled out of nowhere.

See, I was playing a little cat and mouse with you guys.

I was waiting for the ol', you know,

Christmas Eve clock to tick down.

I don't know about you, it never gets easier

waiting on Santa.

(ominous music) (heavy breathing)

(Tom yelling)

And you came out, and you surprised me,

and I was like, wow.

Good thing all those years

of the intensive improv training kicked in!

- It's not safe for you out there!

(tense music)

You're a naughty fucker, Tom.

How did I do?

Are we talking Oscar worthy?

Golden Globe?

SAG Awards?

That's my favorite.

Emmy.

Oh, it felt so good.

You know those times where you burst

with excitement from within,

because you know that you just looked someone in their eyes

and lied straight to their face

and they're too stupid to know it?

Of course, you do, right?

I mean you've been lying to poor old Dale for years.

He died with a broken heart.

(chuckling)

Severed, actually.

It's the aorta.

Cuts right through, you bleed out in like 30 seconds,

and he bled.

He's a big ol' fella.

He bled like a stuck pig.

I mean, just blood coming out.

I guess when you're 290 pounds

and made of steel like him.

Heart pumping, blood just going everywhere.

And you know, then I had this thought,

I was like, God, on top of everything else

his last Christmas gift from his wonderful bride

was probably gonorrhea.

Crabs?

I know you're nasty, you gotta have all kinds of STDs.

You are right, people here suck.

But maybe, just maybe, you can make up for it

in the afterlife.

That's right, yeah.

'Cause here's the deal, Nicole.

You are gonna be joining him real soon.

I can't wait.

You're welcome.

Merry Christmas.

(Nicole sobbing)

(tense music)

(Nicole shrieking)

- Please, somebody!

Crandle!

Crandle, Crandle, come here!

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, please!

Crandle, Crandle!

Come here, help me please, he's right behind me!

Crandle, get me, get me!

- No!

- Ho, ho, ho!

(Nicole coughing)

Ho, ho...

(gun fires)

(tense music)

Ho, ho, ho!

(tense music)

- Jordan!

Drop that.

You drop that and turn around.

Now turn around.

I want to look in your eyes

when I put a bullet in your face.

I said turn the fuck around!

Don't.

Don't.

Fuck!

(Crandle groans)

- [Man] Ho, ho, ho!

♪ Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one horse open sleigh ♪

- Here's Johnny!

I should try Jordan.

Let me do that again, take two.

Here's Jordan!

What do you think?

Just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

And I honestly know...

I am not Jack.

(chuckling)

Not yet, I'm working on it.

Of course, he is like the best ever, right?

Did you ever see that movie he did with the Sandman?

Oh, it was so funny.

Those guys are so great together.

- What the hell are you talking about?

- Just some of the best film actors

in the history of the world?

Jeez, Crandle.

You get out much?

- What?

- Of course, you do have to put Denzel and Morgan

in that conversation, don't you?

Because they are amazing.

And then, there's my personal favorite, Keanu.

That guy is so underrated.

I mean, what a career, right?

He can do anything.

And he's not afraid to make fun of himself.

Uh ah.

So many of these celebrities nowadays,

they take themselves so serious.

Like they're curing cancer.

Are you kidding me?

Bunch of self entitled assholes, most of 'em.

They jump on every cause

like they're gonna save the world,

but they never do anything.

I grew up in the system.

Never once met me a famous actor in the boys home

or in foster care.

Even in juvie.

I did meet a lot of athletes.

Good people.

Met a race car driver once, nice guy,

but I just didn't have any interest in sports.

Crandle, I want to be a movie star.

- Will you please shut the hell up?

- You don't like me, do ya?

- No.

- Why?

- Because you're a fuckin' psychopath!

- No, I'm not.

(woman screaming)

(yelling)

I'm an artist.

- You're insane!

- Well...

They do say the line between creativity

and insanity is blurry.

So I will take that as a compliment.

Thank you, kind sir.

- What do you want?

- Me?

- Yeah, you.

- I want a fresh start.

I want to move to Hollywood.

I want an A-list agent.

I've been talking to this guy, Nick, at Hero Management,

super nice guy.

And I think he likes me,

but he says I don't have enough credits.

And I said to him, "How do I get credits?"

- Well, what the hell do you want with me?

- You should never interrupt people, Crandle.

It's rude.

- You're not people.

You're a monster.

- Oh.

Because I have you hanging up here

like a big ol' fat cow I'm about to slaughter?

- No.

For killing those innocent girls years ago.

- I've never killed anyone in my life, Crandle.

- You're a liar.

- You still don't get it, do you?

Look in my eyes.

What do you see?

- Evil.

(laughing)

- No.

That is revenge.

- Revenge?

Revenge for what?

- For what you did to my brother.

- You're not making sense, you nut job!

- I've spent the last 5 years of my life

nursing him back to health.

Five good years.

Five years I should've been out pursuing my dreams,

but no, I was stuck in a shit hole rehab facility in Mexico

that isn't fit for a damn dog, because of you.

And what you did was very cowardly.

- Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas!

- Please don't do it!

(woman screaming)

(gun firing) (dramatic music)

(tool clanging)

(gun firing)

- Back in the old west, they'd hang a man like you

for shooting someone in the back,

even if he did deserve it.

But see, you can't kill guys like us.

Not that easy, nah ah.

Because you have no idea

the hell we went through growing up.

What was done to us.

But my brother, he always protected me.

Yeah, he would take the worst of the beatings

and the abuse.

He'd try to shield me from it.

And that's why I am standing here before you tonight.

Because you must answer for what you did.

See, you hurt my brother really bad that night.

And I wasn't there to protect him.

And they say that vengeance belongs to the Lord.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Crandle...

It belongs to him.

(ominous music) - Ho, ho, ho!

- No.

No, that's impossible.

- Meet my twin brother Nicholas.

(chuckling)

(Crandle grunting)

Merry Christmas, Crandle.

- Wait!

- Yes?

- Just make it quick.

- I'm sorry, bud, I can't do that.

You're his Christmas present, not mine.

Who am I to tell him how he gets to play with his toys?

That's not how it works, you know better.

Ooh, but I do need to run.

So much to do to prepare for Christmas dinner.

I'm making a ham.

(chuckling)

It's his favorite.

I'll see you at 5 sharp, Nick.

You boys have fun.

(intense music)

(Crandle grunting)

(groaning)

(tense music)

(screaming)

(Jordan sighs)

It's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas.

(Crandle groaning)

- Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas.

- God, I love Christmas.

(chuckling)

(dramatic music) (groaning)

(loud whirring)

(intense music)

Yeah.

Yeah, I can feel it.

2020's gonna be the best year ever.

(gun fires)

(water splashes)

- Merry Christmas, you son of a bitch.

(coughing)

- Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas!

(intense music)

Ho, ho, ho!

(ominous music)

(groaning)

(ominous Christmas music)