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1
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Everyone here thinks
they know me inside and out
2
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You look like you could use some help
3
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Nope
4
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Even random people
5
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You need help, Dr. Dorian?
6
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No thanks, Dr... whatever your name is
7
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They won't leave me alone
8
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Free help, here
9
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Piss off, Mickhead
10
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You'd think by now they'd know
where I'm gonna end up
11
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Dr. Cox? I could use a little help
12
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Beyonc�, you could use a lot of help
13
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But, hey, we all have to play
the hand the Big Guy dealt us
14
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You know, unless you're lucky enough to have
15
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those insanely over-hyped 'Queer Eye'
guys show up at your door
16
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but I doubt even they have the brass ones
necessary to fix whatever the hell this is
17
00:00:32,846 --> 00:00:35,289
Yeah, if you wanna use the appearance angle
to knock down my self-esteem,
18
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best to do it on a day when my hair doesn't
look awesome! I know it's new wax
19
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What is?
20
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It's okay to want a piece!
21
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I just want you to check out
Mrs. Barlow's chart
22
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I'm always second-guessing myself
when it comes to interstitial lung diseases
23
00:00:49,762 --> 00:00:51,733
Oh, then you should definitely
handle this yourself, there, Britney
24
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I'm going with female pop stars today
25
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The point is that back
when I was a resident,
26
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I had all sorts of trouble
with metabolic diseases
27
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You know what I did?
28
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I grabbed every case I could get my hands on
29
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until I had it down pat.
30
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Got it
31
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...You really had trouble
with metabolic diseases?
32
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Noo... I'm a good doctor
33
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Oh
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Here you go
35
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Oh, hello, Mr. Gallbladder.
Don't you get too comfy next to Mr. Liver
36
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Because here comes Dr. Turk's robot laser.
37
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Hey, Christopher.
I could do without the color commentary
38
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Why it gotta be a "color commentary"?
'Cause I'm doing it?
39
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Just kiddin'
40
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That was a near-perfect laparoscopic cholecystectomy!
41
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Have you been working on your dexterity?
42
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Well, I've been playing a little John Madden Football on my X-Box...
43
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I'd like to play John Madden Football... on _her_ x-box
44
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On who, Todd? There are no women here
45
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Well, it's still funny!
46
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The Todd here used to be our number one lap-chole guy.
But the torch has been passed
47
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Thank you, sir!
48
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Dude! Yo, wait till you hear this!
49
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Dr. Wen just said that I'm their number one lap-chole guy now!
50
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Disappointed?
51
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I shoulda waited till there was a chick around
to make that "x-box" joke, you know?
52
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He knows...
53
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I was excited for Turk.
And, God bless him, he was excited about my big hair news!
54
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New wax did that?
55
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I couldn't believe it either!
56
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New wax did that?
57
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I couldn't believe it either!
58
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Oh
59
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Ye-oh, sorry about the girl talk
60
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Oh, that's fine. We were talking man talk... you know...
Really big trucks...
61
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Solo-Flex... Have you
seen these lately? Sweat
62
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Your hair smells like Elliot's
63
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Well, your breath smells like chimichangas!
64
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Is that racist?
65
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That depends
Did you have chimichangas for breakfast?
66
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Maybe...
67
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I think what Carla really smelled was all the excitement in the air.
68
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See, there's a visiting professor coming today
who's both a medical attending and a surgeon.
69
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_Two_ specialties, and to us
that kinda makes him...
70
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...Super-Doc!
71
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...Super-Doc!
72
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Dammit!
73
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...Fine. A super-doc with obsessive-compulsive disorder
74
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Okay, okay. How hard can it be for me to step in here,
left foot first and simultaneously exhale as my right foot plants? How hard?
75
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Not that hard?
76
00:03:25,393 --> 00:03:28,575
Exactly!... Shaved-head guy
77
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Whose hair smells like lilacs?
78
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Hers
79
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And his
80
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Huh?
81
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That's very pretty
82
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And deeply disturbing
83
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The jar said unisex
84
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I know
85
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_Unisex_
86
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I know
87
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Dammit!
88
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Scrubs. s0e12: My Catalyst
89
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synchro: David Durrenberger
90
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www. koubis. com
91
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Dr. Kevin Casey... Dr. Kevin Casey...
92
00:04:03,037 --> 00:04:05,818
you know, at my hospital, they don't make you sign forms
if you wanna cut open sick people
93
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:08,566
you just have to bring your own... knifey thingie...
94
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"Scalpel"
95
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That's the word!
Dr. Kevin Casey...
96
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Why do you keep saying your name?
97
00:04:14,135 --> 00:04:19,260
Oh, it just keeps me from losing my, uh... jinkies later,
thinking I forgot something
98
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Okay...
99
00:04:21,397 --> 00:04:27,098
Dr. Kevin Casey... Dr. Kevin Casey
100
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It's okay, you can say it
101
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It's just that you're... you're a doctor with pretty severe OCD
102
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It's not a secret
103
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I know. I always talk like this
104
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You're gonna have a hard time keeping
that up the whole month I'm here
105
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I can do it!
106
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I believe in you!
107
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Kevin Casey? Holy cow, get outta Dodge!
Te-tell me this, are you-are ya shaking hands nowadays?
108
00:04:55,306 --> 00:05:02,076
Well, a lifetime of therapy... and a... whole lotta Zoloft...
just so I can appropriately greet you, big guy!
109
00:05:02,111 --> 00:05:03,248
Atta boy!
110
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I do have a two-second limit
111
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Boy, who doesn't!
112
00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:16,177
You realize I haven't laid eyes on you since we were residents together?
And I'll tell you this, big Kev-o, I always knew I'd see ya again
113
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Boy, I never thought I'd see that guy again!
114
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I mean, he had to drop out of our residency class
because of the God-awful severity of his condition!
115
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I can't imagine you as a resident
116
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Hey, Coxy!
117
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Shut up, jackass!
I rock!
118
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Was the blond hair and the earring 'cause you were
in a rock band or 'cause you loved pirates?
119
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What?
120
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Loved pirates! Just like me!
121
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I _don't_ want a piece
122
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Well you're the only one. Okay?
123
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Doctor Cox I'm'unna take you
out for a beer tonight.
124
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I want to hear all the stories
about what my mentor was like as a newbie
125
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Look, Pink, for the billionth time, no,
I will not go out for a beer with you.
126
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Now repeat after me: Dr. Cox, you are not now,
nor will you ever be, my mentor.
127
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Dr. Cox, you are not now,
nor will you ever be, my mentor
128
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,550
YES!
129
00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:22,122
That oughtta keep those damn crows
from crapping on my car all the time
130
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I doubt they'll be back, sir.
You know, unless someone who comes up here every day,
131
00:06:27,311 --> 00:06:32,765
trying to find the courage the jump, passes the time
by throwing birdseed on your car's hood
132
00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:35,329
Stop babbling, Ted. No one's ever listening
133
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Oh, by the way, the Italian gentlemen
that haul our medical waste away called
134
00:06:40,204 --> 00:06:44,568
and said if we don't stop putting our regular trash
in with the medical loads, they're gonna charge us double
135
00:06:45,802 --> 00:06:48,617
My new associate Randall
and I can get rid of that garbage for you
136
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:49,872
What the hell are you two doing here?
137
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We come up here on our breaks to wrestle
138
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And drink beer
139
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Only the winner drinks beer
140
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How much to make the garbage go away?
141
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Say... twenty bucks a month?
142
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Twenty-three bucks a month?
143
00:07:03,652 --> 00:07:04,478
Deal!
144
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:10,192
Sir, those darn birds are back
145
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Dr. Kevin Casey...
146
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I have to say it was amazing watching Dr. Casey work
147
00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:19,923
All right, Carol, let's just put it out there
148
00:07:20,813 --> 00:07:24,979
you've got Lupus. But instead of dwelling on the negative,
let's look at the positive signs, okay?
149
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:28,149
Your, uh, pericarditis is resolving,
your renal function is good
150
00:07:32,655 --> 00:07:35,575
Suicidal scavenger birds also an excellent sign,
right Doctor?
151
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It's a great sign
152
00:07:37,345 --> 00:07:38,561
Okie-dokie, artichokie
153
00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:42,504
You are unflappable!
154
00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,628
It's true - I can't be flapped
155
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I'm more skittish
156
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Yeah, you know, you're like a big squirrel
157
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I wish a was a swashbuckling doctor.
You know... like a pirate
158
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Enough about pirates! Wait until you know him better
159
00:07:54,331 --> 00:07:55,514
Ahoy, there
160
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You going to the, uh... O.Arrr? Heh
161
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I said enough!
162
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:07,616
You know, I couldn't have survived in medicine if I didn't
embrace my OCD. And since I was compulsive anyway, you know
163
00:08:07,782 --> 00:08:12,721
I- I read the same text books over and over, I, uh,
I went through the procedures over and over,
164
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I imagined every worst-case scenario over
and over and over and over and over and over and over
165
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Dr. Casey
166
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- and over and over and over-
167
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Dr. Casey!
168
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Dr. Kevin Casey
Oh Thank you
169
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:21,301
Yeah
170
00:08:21,336 --> 00:08:25,607
Even though my crazy brain made me do those things,
it's still the best advice I can give to any young doctor:
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Expect the unexpected and you will never be surprised
172
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It's weird, after one day it already felt like he was
the type of mentor I always wished Dr. Cox would be.
173
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Still, I've gotta stay cool; I know I'm prone to hero worship
174
00:08:38,121 --> 00:08:39,824
Man, the surgeon in me is antsy
175
00:08:40,158 --> 00:08:42,025
I need to cut somebody up
176
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Thanks for volunteering.
I'm not really that strong on the brain
177
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I think this is the language center
178
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Really? 'Cause I don't feel the
179
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daaaaaaaiiiiiioooooooowwww... heh-heh-how cool is thaaaat!
180
00:08:54,885 --> 00:08:56,887
And this is the foreign language center
181
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Impossible! Je ne parle Fran�ais!
182
00:09:00,947 --> 00:09:03,521
The cow says...
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
183
00:09:03,613 --> 00:09:05,712
The sheep says...
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
184
00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:07,907
Ladies and gentlemen, Macaulay Culkin...
185
00:09:09,428 --> 00:09:11,999
The French would help with the ladies...
186
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:22,673
Dr. Wen! Can I ask you a question?
Was my time on the lap-chole even faster than yours?
187
00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:24,162
Yes, it was
188
00:09:24,361 --> 00:09:27,039
Because some of the guys were saying
I totally kicked your ass
189
00:09:27,379 --> 00:09:32,461
and I wanted them to shut up, you know if it wasn't true,
but since it is, I'll just let it go.
190
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:36,710
What?
191
00:09:37,163 --> 00:09:40,958
If there is one thing I've learned at this hospital,
it's that you should never antagonize your boss
192
00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:45,444
or the people that make the food, because either way you
end up eating poo. Hear it, learn it, live it. Huh?
193
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:50,440
Elliot, I can do whatever I want.
Because these... are magic!
194
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:54,245
These? Are gonna take me wherever I wanna go in life
195
00:09:54,443 --> 00:09:59,241
Thanks to these! I'm king of the world, baby!
Can you feel it!? Gimme your pudding!
196
00:10:00,463 --> 00:10:01,883
Domo arigato!
(note : mean 'thanks' in japanese)
197
00:10:03,839 --> 00:10:04,467
Pay up
198
00:10:05,185 --> 00:10:05,971
Already?
199
00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:10,056
You can look around all you want, you won't find any garbage!
Let's see them twenty-three squids!
200
00:10:14,351 --> 00:10:15,151
It's all here
201
00:10:16,739 --> 00:10:19,120
So, come on, what'd you do with all the garbage?
202
00:10:21,678 --> 00:10:22,660
That's not part of the deal
203
00:10:23,862 --> 00:10:28,409
Randall. You, me, on the roof, winner takes all
204
00:10:28,444 --> 00:10:29,626
You never learn, do you?
205
00:10:29,841 --> 00:10:30,866
Jam'on
206
00:10:34,088 --> 00:10:41,012
You know, Carla, I gotta say your-your makeup today
does not in any way make you look like a desperate bowling alley prostitute
207
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:42,683
What's with the sweet talk?
208
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:49,008
Oh, maybe Kevin being here is making me regress.
I mean, you realize that back when I was a resident, I was a kind lad
209
00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:49,876
You get out
210
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:54,952
I know. But soon enough I established myself
as the best damn doctor that ever roamed around these filthy halls
211
00:10:54,987 --> 00:11:02,112
which is a curse, actually, because now I'm expected to make
eye contact with every insult to medicine that comes into this dump
212
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,328
Here's that CT scan you ordered!
213
00:11:05,487 --> 00:11:06,320
Thank. You
214
00:11:06,898 --> 00:11:09,254
Eye contact! He respects me!
215
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:13,388
What the hell!? He's anemic and he has bone fractures,
yet there's no sign of leukemia
216
00:11:13,852 --> 00:11:16,173
Don't tell me The Great One is stumped!
217
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:21,368
No. It's just that this is not exactly the kind of thing
that you stick your head in on and figure out
218
00:11:22,821 --> 00:11:24,357
He's got Gaucher's disease
219
00:11:24,699 --> 00:11:25,605
I beg your pardon?
220
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,331
I took the liberty of testing his blood
for deficiency of beta-glucosidase
221
00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:31,949
Ohhh! I just sent out for one of those!
222
00:11:32,364 --> 00:11:32,666
No you didn't!
223
00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:33,105
Uh-shh!
224
00:11:33,428 --> 00:11:36,902
Well, you know, I-I mean, I never would've have figured it out
if you hadn't done the grunt work
225
00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:40,763
You know, it's like a jar of pickles:
you loosened the lid and - pop! - I took it off
226
00:11:40,861 --> 00:11:43,008
Dr. Kevin Casey..
227
00:11:47,662 --> 00:11:48,296
See ya
228
00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:03,007
Luckily for Kevin, he was getting the chance
to meet everyone around here
229
00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:10,094
See, the reason the X-Box joke should work is that "x-box"
is like the perfect word for a girl's party zone!
230
00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:15,673
Uh... "The Todd", is it?
231
00:12:15,838 --> 00:12:16,956
Oh, yeah
232
00:12:16,995 --> 00:12:19,468
Can you go make a very important phone call for me?
233
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:20,344
To who?
234
00:12:20,694 --> 00:12:21,977
To anyone
235
00:12:24,752 --> 00:12:25,853
Makin' a phone call!
236
00:12:26,318 --> 00:12:30,243
Hey, Dr. Casey, do you mind if I scrub in
on the lap-chole you're doing this afternoon?
237
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,598
Okay, I'll see you at four
238
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:34,600
Cool trick
239
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:39,659
Yeah, you should try it. It's good for dexterity, concentration...
and convincing single women you're a power-dork
240
00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:50,151
You know, I'm really looking forward to seeing you in action, sir.
It takes a lot to make the big dog sit up and take notice. Heh.
241
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,326
I believe the word you're looking for is "holy crap"
242
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,279
Holy crap!
243
00:13:00,303 --> 00:13:03,973
I'm sorry, J.D., I just don't think pirates are cool
244
00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:05,789
Well then you're not cool, Doug!
245
00:13:06,905 --> 00:13:08,287
J.D., do you wanna get a beer tonight?
246
00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:10,793
Do chickens wish they could fly?
247
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:11,889
I have no idea.
248
00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:13,836
I like to think they do
249
00:13:13,998 --> 00:13:15,045
So do I
250
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:21,577
Okay, class! We have a guest with us at rounds today,
happens to be an old friend of yours truly
251
00:13:21,607 --> 00:13:26,700
so let's all go out of our way to treat him
with the respect he deserves. Nnnnnnnn'kay?
252
00:13:27,518 --> 00:13:28,102
Hey, gang. My name is Dr. Kevin Cas-
253
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:33,448
Anyway! I thought we'd change things up a little bit today
- instead of me firing questions at you
254
00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:39,193
I'd like to see you all scurry away and get your text books.
And when you get back, you actually get to quiz us
255
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:44,300
A little harmless competition,
if my colleague here will consent to it?
256
00:13:47,823 --> 00:13:50,241
I'm sorry; are you done with the speechifying?
257
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,919
I'm kidding, you frightening bastard!
258
00:13:53,118 --> 00:13:53,893
Oh-ho-hokay
259
00:13:54,313 --> 00:13:56,956
buddy-buddy-buddy! Oh! Buddy-buddy-buddy-buddy-buddy!
260
00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:58,765
GO GET YOUR BOOKS!
261
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,920
Try not to touch me as much
262
00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:02,575
Fair enough
263
00:14:05,682 --> 00:14:10,918
Now look, security said your van hasn't left the premises
So I demand to know where all the trash is going
264
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:12,580
...Away
265
00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:19,347
I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the grocer
when it was my turn to bring the deli spread to Hank Weinberg's poker night
266
00:14:19,743 --> 00:14:23,192
This better be kosher.
Otherwise, it's not just Ted who's gonna pay for it.
267
00:14:26,026 --> 00:14:34,235
If people keep pushing me for no reason,
I swear I will hurl myself off this building!
268
00:14:34,664 --> 00:14:35,713
I'm not cleaning you up
269
00:14:35,948 --> 00:14:36,929
Arm
270
00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:45,717
Mark my words!
If one more person is mean to me for no reason, I'll do it!
271
00:14:45,721 --> 00:14:46,989
Shut up, bozo
272
00:14:47,879 --> 00:14:50,174
One more person. She didn't know the rules
273
00:14:51,998 --> 00:14:57,020
Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
One of you minions spit out another question, will ya! Yo! Nervous Guy-
274
00:14:57,055 --> 00:15:01,473
- now I don't care how many times your little
prepubescent voice cracks. Hit me, baby!
275
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:07,676
Okay... Wh-what is the demyelinating CNS
disorder associated with the JC virus?
276
00:15:08,336 --> 00:15:15,876
Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy.
Snore! Back to you, there, half-pint.
277
00:15:16,845 --> 00:15:19,207
Yeah, short jokes are a sign of desperation,
my friend
278
00:15:19,597 --> 00:15:20,639
Amen, brother
279
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:24,671
Uh...
... uh... uh... over... here!
280
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:28,496
Uh, yes... blonde girl...
You have yet _another_ question?
281
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:34,217
Um, what is the pathologic abnormality
causing Bernard-Soulier disease?
282
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,198
Absence of von Willebrand receptors
283
00:15:36,295 --> 00:15:37,446
Uh, listen, I hate to be childish about this,
but I have to, uh... "make".
284
00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:44,626
And for me that involves driving home and scrubbing
the toilet seat several times with industrial-strength cleanser
285
00:15:45,389 --> 00:15:46,503
So, if we could just call this a tie...?
286
00:15:46,511 --> 00:15:50,351
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ties are for sissies.
Speaking of which, Newbie?
287
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:52,417
You have been uncharacteristically quiet
288
00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:55,229
I don't know why it popped into my head...
289
00:15:56,276 --> 00:15:58,519
You really had trouble with metabolic diseases?
290
00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:00,938
Noo... I'm a good doctor
291
00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:03,728
...but I knew I had him
292
00:16:04,238 --> 00:16:07,779
My question is concerning metabolic diseases
293
00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:11,547
Oh, yes
294
00:16:12,947 --> 00:16:19,262
What is the inborn error of metabolism
characterized by angiokeratomas? Please?
295
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:25,485
Okay, first I think that we should...
we should go over the rules
296
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:30,279
Because, you see, if by some freak of nature
I'm not able to answer a question,
297
00:16:30,314 --> 00:16:35,970
then old Kev-Kev here cannot be declared the winner
unless he can provide the answer for said question
298
00:16:36,313 --> 00:16:37,163
Otherwise we're just going back and forth, back an-
299
00:16:37,198 --> 00:16:44,239
Fabry's Disease. Page two thousand, ninety-eight of Harrison's
Guide to Internal Medicine. It's a fun game, but I-I, uh, I'll be back in 48 minutes
300
00:16:46,127 --> 00:16:49,447
It's funny how one person can shake
another's foundation to the core
301
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,191
Half the time, the guy doesn't even know he did it!
302
00:16:53,237 --> 00:16:55,656
Watching Dr. Casey's procedure again?
303
00:16:55,691 --> 00:16:57,157
He's so fast
304
00:16:57,382 --> 00:17:00,619
Yep. He's out of our league
305
00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:08,761
Funnier still how the same guy could be the mentor
I've always been looking for
306
00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:15,597
Nice place. It's got that-that great...
vomit and peanut smell
307
00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:19,677
Yeah... Reminds me of my first girlfriend.
She was a carnie
308
00:17:21,055 --> 00:17:24,177
You know, I'm always trying to get Cox to come out
and get a beer with me - he never does
309
00:17:24,737 --> 00:17:28,145
Hey, you're not one of those guys who carries around pictures
of him and his attending, are you?
310
00:17:31,065 --> 00:17:32,440
Ahhhh, perfect!
311
00:17:33,859 --> 00:17:36,630
Well, I don't carry anything around...
312
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:40,205
Good. 'Cause you know, those-those losers
who've been practicing medicine for three years
313
00:17:40,438 --> 00:17:44,908
but are still looking for some kind of mentor to pat 'em on the back
are just... pathetic, you know what I mean?
314
00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:47,027
Totally
315
00:17:47,672 --> 00:17:50,860
Yep. It's funny what one person can do
316
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:54,129
Aw, okay, I'm gonna need another beer
317
00:17:58,568 --> 00:18:01,537
None of us slept last night.
How I know that is irrelevant
318
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,818
What does matter is I think
we formed a special bond because of it
319
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,952
Stop looking at me or die
320
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,968
What's worse is that the guy who caused it
thinks we're his best friends
321
00:18:11,313 --> 00:18:12,635
Morning, fellas!
322
00:18:12,866 --> 00:18:14,591
Whatta say there, Kev
323
00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:18,458
All right, all six of your butt cheeks just,
uh, tightened up
324
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,774
Someone around here pissing you guys off?
'Cause I will give 'em some attitude
325
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,580
Uhhh...
That guy!
326
00:18:24,098 --> 00:18:28,513
Hey, Hair Club!
That suit, that come with the flop sweat?
327
00:18:34,831 --> 00:18:39,376
You can do this, Theodore!
Take as much time as you need
328
00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:46,300
Okay... Here we go, baby
329
00:18:48,863 --> 00:18:51,456
I just don't understand
why this guy bothers him so much
330
00:18:51,491 --> 00:18:56,790
Carla, Perry is a dysfunctional, unsuccessful,
emotionally-damaged old man! No offense, sweetie
331
00:18:57,127 --> 00:18:57,551
None taken
332
00:18:57,618 --> 00:19:00,316
Being the best doctor here is the only thing
he had to hang his hat on
333
00:19:00,654 --> 00:19:06,747
Listen, just because we have a child together doesn't
necessarily mean you know me, mmm'kay, princess? Watch and learn
334
00:19:06,782 --> 00:19:09,817
Say, Kev-Kev? Would you love to come and join us?
335
00:19:10,059 --> 00:19:10,846
Oh, thanks
336
00:19:11,747 --> 00:19:13,607
Um, what's up with the oatmeal today?
337
00:19:14,818 --> 00:19:15,704
Too much milk
338
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:19,334
Not enough butter
339
00:19:20,363 --> 00:19:21,672
That's it!
340
00:19:22,024 --> 00:19:26,826
Did you just diagnose the oatmeal?
You can't just go and diagnose the oatmeal
341
00:19:27,852 --> 00:19:30,988
He just did.
Kevin, are you single?
342
00:19:31,157 --> 00:19:32,438
Yeah. Why, are you?
343
00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:33,747
I'm thinking about it
344
00:19:33,852 --> 00:19:34,864
Heh. Yeah, me too
345
00:19:35,185 --> 00:19:41,719
What-what in the hell... just happened?
Just... J-What just happened!?
346
00:19:43,251 --> 00:19:47,574
Okay, I've removed the gallbladder,
sealed the vessels, aaaand time!
347
00:19:47,651 --> 00:19:53,322
Oh, my God! You can't even beat Dr. Kevin Casey's
lap-chole time when you're _imagining_ it!
348
00:19:54,113 --> 00:19:58,160
So! I could be just as fast if I was like him
and practiced over and over again on a simulator
349
00:19:58,566 --> 00:19:59,220
Yeah... but you don't
350
00:19:59,255 --> 00:20:02,803
Yeah, well I could spend my spare time
doing stupid hand exercises!
351
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,263
I know... but you don't
352
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:05,398
Yeah, well, I could-
353
00:20:05,443 --> 00:20:05,910
You don't
354
00:20:05,945 --> 00:20:06,377
But-
355
00:20:06,669 --> 00:20:07,346
Don't!
356
00:20:08,489 --> 00:20:10,096
Could you enjoy this any less?
357
00:20:10,973 --> 00:20:15,645
Because of theeeeeeeese! I don't think I can
358
00:20:17,312 --> 00:20:19,381
In! Gallbladder! Out! Done!
359
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:21,923
Four seconds! A new record! World record!
360
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,094
Look, I did my psych rotation,
okay?
361
00:20:28,347 --> 00:20:31,979
I know my father abandoning us
and only showing up in my life
362
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:36,170
when he needs a place to sleep or a free
prostate exam is probably gonna be an issue
363
00:20:36,543 --> 00:20:39,820
I get it. But it's not like
I'm looking for a-a mentor...
364
00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:47,565
I just want a little validation. It's like when Kelso gave you
a cupcake 'cause you went four days without killing a patient
365
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,150
That was awesome
366
00:20:48,629 --> 00:20:49,079
You know!
367
00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:55,543
I've always felt like Doug understood me.
It's weird; after knowing him for three years
368
00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,899
I suddenly realized he was the type of mentor
I always wished Dr. Cox would be
369
00:21:00,255 --> 00:21:00,979
Wait!
370
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:03,498
Doug, get the hell outta here!
371
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:04,689
Okay
372
00:21:07,127 --> 00:21:14,776
I think when rational men are forced to face their shortcomings
they all do the same thing: Blame Kevin Casey!
373
00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:19,031
Who gave him the right to judge me?
'Cause I sure didn't! I'll give him a piece of my mind!
374
00:21:19,199 --> 00:21:23,243
See how he likes it! Unfortunately no one
knew where the son of a bitch was!
375
00:21:26,631 --> 00:21:31,885
Dr. Dorian! I'm far too irritable right now to pretend
I don't hate you, so let's cut to the chase
376
00:21:32,138 --> 00:21:38,310
If you know where all the garbage in this hospital is going,
I'll give you... eight dollars
377
00:21:40,022 --> 00:21:40,856
Sorry, sir
378
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:42,734
Thanks!
379
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:43,252
Huh?
380
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:43,905
Dr. Kelso?
381
00:21:43,910 --> 00:21:44,398
What?
382
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:46,991
The crows are back.
They're making your pimp-mobile look like SpinArt
383
00:21:47,026 --> 00:21:47,699
Dammit!
384
00:21:49,323 --> 00:21:58,275
It's just one step.
Come on, already! Aww, who'm I kidding?
385
00:22:05,796 --> 00:22:11,595
You did it, Teddy! It's over! Here comes sweet relief!
386
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,306
Is this heaven?
387
00:22:19,998 --> 00:22:21,147
It's garbage
388
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,482
Way to cost us a cherry gig, bra
389
00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:24,937
Wha?
390
00:22:25,862 --> 00:22:32,286
I want my money back!
And Ted! Shower and get back to work!
391
00:22:33,814 --> 00:22:36,366
You know, if you try that around the corner,
you can land right in the street
392
00:22:40,884 --> 00:22:46,799
Found him! Brace yourself, mister!
You're about to get an earful! J.D. style!
393
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,117
Hey, buddy
394
00:22:52,675 --> 00:22:55,824
Hey... hey... Uh, give-give me a minute, will you?
395
00:22:56,217 --> 00:22:59,196
No, Kevin, I have to talk to you _right_ _now_
396
00:23:00,731 --> 00:23:02,280
DAMMIT!
397
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:03,913
Later's cool too
398
00:23:05,123 --> 00:23:10,470
I'm sorry. I just, I... Look, I spent the last few days
meeting new people and...
399
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:13,797
trying to get used to this place,
and I'm stressed and I'm fried...
400
00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:16,368
...and I just want to go home...
401
00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:20,800
But here's the punchline:
even though my last surgery was two hours ago
402
00:23:21,009 --> 00:23:22,130
I can't stop washing my damn hands
403
00:23:26,412 --> 00:23:28,169
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
404
00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:32,199
I'm sorry...
405
00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:38,060
No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Look... this is a weak moment
406
00:23:39,768 --> 00:23:41,599
Nobody's supposed to see this.
407
00:23:44,913 --> 00:23:49,191
And, uh, mark my words, I'll clean up the soap.
... Probably several thousand times.
408
00:23:54,222 --> 00:23:56,495
Everyone's got their own burdens, J.D.
409
00:23:58,058 --> 00:24:04,309
and I'm not gonna be one of those people that dumps
mine on somebody else. Now whatta you need?
410
00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:09,873
Nothing
411
00:24:19,983 --> 00:24:21,480
None of us needed anything
412
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,100
I think owning your burdens is half the battle
413
00:24:38,725 --> 00:24:42,356
Turk knows that he'll eventually have
to decide what his priorities really are...
414
00:24:43,611 --> 00:24:46,611
Baby. Come to bed
415
00:24:56,372 --> 00:24:59,686
And Dr. Cox knows he has to find
something else to hang his hat on
416
00:24:59,830 --> 00:25:04,685
You, my friend, are going to be
the best baseball player in the world
417
00:25:04,893 --> 00:25:08,748
Which will make me the best
baseball player in the world's father
418
00:25:12,114 --> 00:25:14,898
Can't you hear it, Jack? Can't you hear it?
419
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,578
Still, it's not that daunting if you look around
and see what other people have to deal with
420
00:25:22,034 --> 00:25:23,650
Goodnight, Dr. Casey
421
00:25:24,041 --> 00:25:25,992
'Night, J.D.
422
00:25:33,628 --> 00:25:37,346
song: Coldplay's "Everything's Not Lost"
423
00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:40,673
synchro: David Durrenberger
36346
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