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Good morning Rabelais.

Good morning Rabelais.

Good morning Rabelais.

He's burying a bone in
Mrs. Earthleigh's zinnias.

Who's burying a bone, dear?

That bachelor's dog from 10B.

I think it's going to
be hotter than yesterday.

They found another.

Another what, dear?

Body, wrapped in a
blood stained blanket.

The fourth inside of a month.

It must be a fiend.

Women are warned not
to go out after dark

until the Greenwich Village
Murderer has been caught.

Greenwich Village Murderer indeed.

He's probably from Uptown.

I, for one, shan't set
foot out of this building.

We've always been safe so far.

There they are now.

- Who dear?
- The Earthleighs.

You forgot the sugar again!

Oh, yes dear.

He forgot the sugar again.

He's so forgetful.

That old maid on the 12th
floor's watching us again.

She's there every morning
at 8:05 like clockwork.

Don't look now Arthur!

Oh, oatmeal, oh yes.

It's Saturday.

Oh, we're in for
another scorcher,

should be cooler in Connecticut.

I do wish you were
coming with me.

Now Mae.

Well I was only
thinking of your comfort.

Cecelia does have that
breeze from the river.

The river gets that
breeze from Cecilia.

Arthur, you know I don't
like jokes about my sister.

My train leaves at 6:30.

You'll be there on time?

Of course, dear.

Oh, I hate leaving you alone.

If it weren't
Cecelia's anniversary,

but you must admit in the
seven years we've been married,

I haven't left you
alone very often.

Uh huh, that's right, dear.

And I appreciate it.

Arthur, can't you read
your newspaper on the bus?

I like to read it sitting down.

Arthur!

You're not going to smoke?

But this is not in the house!

All right, if you
must be technical

I'll bring you an ashtray.

Arthur, look!

My zinnias!

It's that dog, that artist's dog!

I knew, you see, a bone,
he's buried a bone!

Keep that for evidence.

Oh my poor, poor little zinnias.

Arthur, that dog has got to go.

This time you must be firm.

What do you
expect me to do about it?

What any man would do
to protect his own home.

This calls for action.

Of course, if you're afraid.

No, of course I'm not afraid.

Well, I'll talk to
him, here take this.

Why don't you answer it?

Hello?

Galleo?

This is your neighbor,
Arthur Earthleigh.

My wife just unearthed a
bone in her flower box.

Tell her if no one calls for it

in 30 days she can keep it.

The bone happens to
belong to your dog.

Tell your wife she
can keep the bone,

I'll get my dog another.

But she doesn't want the bone!

Then why did she dig it up?

Now see here Galleo,

you've got to keep
him off this terrace.

No, no, he's got
to get rid of him.

You've got to get rid of him.

Get rid of Rabelais!

I'll get rid of you first!

Indeed, sir.

And just how do you
propose to do that?

There are ways,
Mr. Earthleigh.

You've got to get
rid of that dog today.

Now, give him away, sell him.

Mr. Galleo, please,
such language!

My wife is right at my elbow!

Well I'll bet she is

and gnawing on
Rabelais's bone no doubt.

Now look here, Mr. Earthleigh,

I don't mind your wife
stealing my dog's bone

but if you return that bone to
me in first class condition,

I'm willing to forget
the whole thing.

What's the matter?

He wants the bone back.

Arthur, really.

Mention the renting agent.

Galleo, if you
don't do what we say,

I'll notify the renting
agent immediately.

Oh, come on now, Earthleigh,
after all we're neighbors,

we both live on the 10th floor.

Do me a favor will
you, jump off!

Well?

He hung up.

Well don't just stand
there like a totem pole.

Do something!

I'll do something.

What?

Oh, well, I'll see my lawyer.

Fine!

And tell him about the
parade of women that streams

through that bachelor's
apartment day and night.

Oh, those are his models.

Well, some of them must be.

Oh hello, pardon me.

- Have you a Mister...?
- 10B, step in.

- I'm looking for Mr. Galleo...
- I know, 10B.

Step in.

But how did you know
I wanted Mr. Galleo.

Well because you've got the
face and the figure for 10B.

- I have?
- Mm-hm.

Come in.

Hello Rabelais.

Well it's about
time you got here.

Mr. Galleo, I'm Deborah Tyler,

I tried to get you on the phone
but you're not listed so I...

That's all right,
I'll be right with you.

Just take off your clothes.

I beg your pardon?

Get undressed, as soon
as I finish breakfast

we'll go to work.

Just a minute, please.

Oh, I bet forgot to
bring a bathing suit, hm.

Well, there are couple in there.

Mr. Galleo, I'm not a model.

I came to see you
about Rabelais.

Rabelais, did he bury a
bone in your zinnias too?

What?

Did Arthur Earthleigh send you?

Who?

That guy next door, he just
phoned me about Rabelais.

Has he made you an offer?

I'll meet any terms
he may have proposed.

You can have your
choice, a flat rate,

pick of the litter or both.

Say, uh, who are you anyway?

Deborah Tyler, I own Zantippy.

That so?

What's Zantippy.

My prize Shepherd.

Oh.

When your Rabelais
took best of breed

at the Philadelphia show,
I'm from Philadelphia,

I decided then my Zantippy must
someday meet your Rabelais.

That's why I'm here.

Just a minute, Miss Tyler.

Rabelais, leave the room.

You see there's a
little wolf in Rabelais

and I wouldn't want him to
get the wrong impression.

Oh, I see.

Now what's your proposition?

Anything you ask.

Anything?

Yes, I'll give anything
to arrange this match.

Sold.

You haven't named a price.

Well you see Rabelais
really doesn't need any money.

He leads a very happy
life here in the village.

He has all the bones
he can possibly handle

and I don't want puppies.

Mr. Galleo, I came
here on business.

Art is my business,

I would like you to pose for me.

You're not serious?

Why not?
You pose for me,

Zantippy gets Rabelais and
they live happily ever after.

But I don't know the...

You have an interesting neck.
Your hands are good.

Of course, the face could
be a little longer.

It will be a little longer
if you don't get serious.

We'll try some quick
sketches just as you are...

No, no, better get
into a bathing suit.

Now, but, I have
a fitting at 10:30

and shopping and
a luncheon date.

I thought you were so crazy

to have Zantippy meet Rabelais.

Oh I am, but...

Well, then let's not
waste time talking,

I think I can find a bathing
suit that will fit you.

Some iced tea dear?

Oh, relaxing always
makes me so tired.

It isn't the relaxing,

I think the heat
takes it out of us.

He's got another.

Another what, dear?

Another girl.

This one's prettier than
that redhead he had Thursday.

In broad daylight, where
do they think they are?

Parading around like that.

Nobody's forcing
you to look, dear.

Doris will never believe this.

Doris?

A friend I'm visiting, we
were roommates at Bryn Mawr.

Oh, I think half profile
will be better for this,

the light in your eyes
is nicer from that angle.

Sorry.

I just felt like doing
what comes naturally.

Naturally.

I really must be going.

Why, you've missed your
fitting your lunch date

and your tea date.

I can still make my
cocktail date if I hurry.

Oh, phone them and
tell them to come over,

I'll whip up some cocktails.

Please let me go.
Doris is waiting.

Ah, I wonder what we
ever saw in her, Rabelais?

She has ice in her veins.

All aboard!

- Stamford, Davenport.
- Mae, oh, excuse me, Mae.

- New Haven.
- You're late.

I know, I stopped to get
you a going away present.

Oh, chocolates, Arthur,

you know what they
do to my figure.

I'll bet you forgot
to see the lawyer.

No I didn't, saw
him first thing this morning.

You did!

What did he say?

Well, we may be better
off than we thought.

He's having the renting agent
write a letter to Galleo.

And if he doesn't
get rid of his dog,

we can have him evicted.

Oh, wonderful.

I've always wanted that
apartment for Cecelia.

Well I'll take back
that better off.

I, uh, bought you a book
so you'll have something

to do while I'm away.

Above Reproach?

By Douglas Lord.

Mm, it's quite good.

I read the first three
chapters under the dryer.

Yeah, well then I'll
start with chapter four.

My train comes in
tomorrow night at 10:15 Arthur

and try to be on time.

Shall we synchronize
our watches?

Now, remember, don't
rush around in this heat,

don't spend over $2 for dinner,

nothing fried in deep
fat and no spaghetti.

Well, goodbye, and
have a good time.

Goodbye, you have a good time.

Yeah, where?

Providence
and Boston, all aboard!

Good evening sir.

Hi. I guess there's no room.

Oh, we've got lot of
room, just wait 10 minutes.

You can enjoy
yourself by the bar.

I don't drink.

Well, you can eat some peanuts.

Check the gentleman hat.

Uh, this way please.

Yes sir.

Oh, no thanks,

I'm just waiting for
a table, on the wagon.

Those are habit forming too.

Above Reproach.

I don't believe it.

Sounds ghastly.

Well, I haven't read it yet.

Did I hear you say
you were on the wagon?

So am I.

Technically.

This is a health
drink, made with lemons

and cucumbers and
juniper berries.

Full of vitamins.

Couple of these
before every meal

and you'll never have scurvy.

Couple of those and
you'll never have the meal.

Danny, we want more vitamins.

No, no, no.

Not for me, just ginger ale.

Ginger ale, oh that's
very bad for you.

Do you know what happens to
people who drink ginger ale?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Fix him one of these, Danny.

No, really, I...

Do you want to have scurvy?

Ew, no!

You see, I've got to be
very careful, bad heart.

I'm liable to pop off right in
the middle of a conversation.

That's too bad,
I'm awfully sorry.

Well, here's to us.

Good?

Well it's like, like uh...

It's like drinking
a spring twilight.

Say, that's very poetic.

I used to write poetry when
I first came to the village.

Didn't pay.

Then I drifted into interiors.

You know my shop, Olive
and Patricia Interiors?

I'm Olive.

If you ever need any
chintzes, think of me.

Well, it wouldn't take a chintz

to make a man think of you.

Shall we switch to martinis?

Would they mix with this?

They better or I'll
complain to the management.

Your table is ready sir.

- Oh.
- Oh no, let me.

I invited you.

Oh no, I wouldn't think of it.

I insist.

Well, all right.

Charge it, Danny.

Now, you must
have dinner with me.

I'll pay for dinner.

Thanks.

He's at it again.

In all this heat?

Nothing bothers him.

Well, aren't you
glad you stayed?

Where else in New York could
you dine so comfortably?

Just how long will it take
to finish this painting of me?

Ah, who knows, Da
Vinci took 20 years

to paint the Mona Lisa.

You're right. It's
absolutely wrong.

Thank you sir.

To us Duke.

Know what they
charge for that brandy?

90 cents a shot!

Why I have a fifth
of really fine brandy

at my apartment and
it only cost $6.60.

Imagine the profits
they make here,

why there must be 100 shots
of brandy in a bottle,

at 90 cents a shot!

Why that's $900 a bottle.

Either their profit is enormous
or my arithmetic is lousy.

Did you say you had some
brandy at your apartment?

Olive, you have a fine memory.

Would you, I mean, I'm just
around the corner at 35 East?

Would you, uh.

You talked me into it, let's go.

Well, I think it would
be better if you follow me,

I mean, our going in together

might start the
elevator boy talking.

You make it sound
very intriugish.

35 East.

Apartment 10A.

Oh, and uh, here's
$1 for the cab.

You better call a taxi.

- Taxi!
- Oh, not in here.

Outside.

Oh.

Eh, well, au revoir.

Keep the change my good man.

Nice poochy, nice poochy.

My good woman, that
dog is not a pooch.

And I am not your good
woman, so that makes us even.

10?

Yes, please.

Greenwich Village
Fiend still at large.

Story on page nine.

Would you like me to
turn to page nine?

Yes, please. A
girl just isn't safe

on the streets anymore is she?

You're so right.

Who knows where the
fiend may strike next.

On a deserted sidewalk,
under a shadowy tree,

or even in a crowded elevator.

Are you following me?

I'm sorry to
disappoint you madam,

but I'm not the Greenwich
Village Murderer.

Well, you slay me.

Touche.

Sashay.

- That you Olive?
- Hiya, Cookie!

Whoo!

Are you that glad to see me?

Well, it's a little late,
Olive, and I was afraid...

That I wasn't coming.

- Uh huh.
- Don't be silly Arthur.

Oh, uh, how did you know.

You forgot your book.

Oh.

Your name is in it.

Arthur.

Arthur of the Round Table.

My knight in shining spectacles.

So this is where you live.

Your wife decorated?

Yes.

I like it.
It's in such exquisite bad taste.

I could have fun with this room.

I don't want to
have fun with the room

I'd like to have a
little fun in it.

What is it?

Ew, put that down,
Mae likes to find things

just as she left them.

Mae may not find anything
the way she left it.

I was enticed to this
place with the promise

of some very good brandy.

Here it is.

You know, brandy is
very good for my heart.

My doctor says it's
a vascular dilator

and my heart is liable
to stop like that

if I don't have
brandy periodically.

You don't think
you've had too much?

Oh, not too much.

Or I couldn't say, periodically.

I like it here, with a few
changes you could live in it.

What are you doing!

Oh, it's a lovely piano Arthur.

Why hide it.

Did you buy it on time?

Olive, it's after 10:30.

No music.

Oh stop acting
like a babysitter.

Oh, keep it there,
my wife's pineapples.

Relax Arthur and have some
fun, you'll live longer.

Sit down Arthur
and be comfortable.

You know something?

I'm beginning to like
you a lot, you're cute.

Well I like you too, Olive.

And I like you too, Arthur.

You know, if I
really let myself go,

I could fall in love with you.

But I'll bet you're used

to having women tell
you that, aren't you?

Well it's been some time.

Has it?

Now we're alone.

Could I get you some coffee?

Caffeine is very
bad for my heart.

Well, I think I'd better
make some for myself.

Don't run away Arthur.

Come over here closer.

You're beginning to blur.

Er, Olive.

Yes, Arthur?

Let's call it an
evening shall we?

Okay, it's an evening.

No, no, I mean, I think
I'd better take you home.

That's taking a lot for granted.

But why?

How do you know I've got a home?

Well, I...

You're the cutest thing.

Olive, I'm going
to take you home.

Say, are you trying to
give me the brush off?

Not exactly.

If you want me
to go, just say so.

I can take a hint.

A house doesn't have
to fall on my head.

I'll take you.

Oh no, you won't.

It's got to be a clean break.

No long drawn out farewells.

Oh, isn't that just like a man.

To send me out into the
night without my shoes.

I thought you were the one
friend I could call my friend,

but you're just
like all the rest.

I'll get a taxi.

Don't bother about
me, I'll be all right.

Get me a taxi, take me home.

Gallantry, gallantry.

Gallantry is dead.

Cold stone dead.

I hate men, all men.

Cruel, heartless, hideous.

Promising this and
promising that.

Then welshing this
and welshing that.

Hello?

Oh, I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Who's that?

- Come in.
- Who is it?

It's me.

Special delivery.

Open the door!

I can't, it's locked.

Not you, I'm talking to you.

I'm not dressed yet!

Is the lock stuck,
should I call the janitor?

No, I'll open it.

You don't have
to, I'll be out in a minute.

Good morning, special.

Oh, thank you.

I signed for it.

Well give it to me and hurry up.

Here I come.

But my head is bending low.

What are you doing here?

Dressing.

Zip me please.

That, why, that belongs to Mae,

it's her favorite housecoat.

Mine too.

My dress is a sight.

You shouldn't have let me
sleep in my clothes, Arthur.

Zip me.

Oh, I'd thought you'd
gone home, why didn't you?

And leave you all by yourself

to face the morning after alone?

What have you done
to the guest room?

Why you've changed everything.

Where are all the doodads?

I mean the things that
were on the things?

You mean all those
antimacassars and doilies?

Oh, I stashed them away in
one of the bureau drawers.

Oh, I hope I can remember
where everything was.

Grouchy this morning, aren't ya?

You need some breakfast.

I'm not hungry!

What a lovely, lovely morning.

Let's go for a drive
in the country,

you do have a car don't you?

Yes, I do, Olive.

You want me to take you home?

You should go home you know.

Should I?

If I didn't distinctly remember
your asking me up here,

I'd think I wasn't welcome.

Don't you like me anymore, Duke?

Oh yes.

But it's Sunday.

So it is.

So it is.

But it's a lovely Sunday.

Let's have breakfast
on the terrace.

No, no, no.

You mustn't.

Why not?

I'll bet it's a lovely view.

You can't go out there.

What do you mean,
pushing me around?

You can't push me around
like an old beach umbrella.

Look, if I give you
breakfast will you go home?

Fine, just some
Melba toast and brandy.

Don't go to any trouble.

I'm going to have
some black coffee

and you're going
to have some too.

Oh no, you don't.

Just because you're
a caffeine addict,

don't think you can
drag me down with you.

Ew, Olive, please stay sober.

Doctor's orders, Duke.

Hm.

You forgot your
special delivery.

Hm.

From Mae?

No, my lawyer.

What did you do?

It's about a dog.

A neighbor's dog.

I'll start the coffee.

Copy of letter to
Mr. David Galleo.

Dear Mr. Galleo, acting on the
complaint of your neighbors,

you must either dispose of
your dog within 24 hours,

Or vacate the
premises immediately.

Good morning.

Come in, Deborah.

This is Sunday, and
you are Mr. Galleo,

the impulsive young artist
just panting to paint me?

24 hours, dispose of my dog.

Why, I'll tear
them limb from limb

and let Rabelais
bury their bones.

Remember me?

The name's Tyler, Deborah Tyler.

We met yesterday,
you asked me to pose.

Oh, what are you
bringing that back for,

don't you know it's
your death warrant?

Here, read this, that's
what's the matter with me!

They can't do this.

Or can they?

You know what I'm going to do,

I'm going next door and
crack that guys' skull.

I wouldn't do that.

Why not, let them
send me to jail.

That wouldn't solve the problem.

What do you want me to do?

Gather up my dog, put my tail
between my legs and sneak out?

David, you've got to
be sensible about this.

Sensible?

You mean let them
walk all over me.

Let them tell me how
to live and where.

Go ahead, let off steam.

But I think my way's better.

And what is your way?

Well it's the dog
they object to, right?

Why not give Rabelais a little
vacation in the country.

While he's gone, we'll find
a place that likes dogs.

What do you mean,

a little vacation
in the country?

I know just the
place, in Westchester.

Zantippy was there for her
first litter, it's very nice.

A kennels!

I won't do it.

I won't put Rabelais
into a kennels.

- Thatta boy.
- Come on boy.

Give him Zantippy's
quarters, those were nice.

Goodbye Rabelais.

You want anything, just bark.

He'll be all right, really.

And you'll have
him back very soon.

I'm going to be
lost without him.

I know.

I've always had a dog myself.

Debby, will you stick with
me for the rest of the day?

You mean, try to
take your dog's place?

I'm afraid you could
never take his place.

Well thanks for the trade last.

Why Rabelais' almost human.

So am I.

Now seriously speaking,

you don't know how much
I think of that dog.

Yes, I do.

I'll stick with you.

Good.

Olive we've got to go!

Sh!

Just once more Duke.

No.

My wife arrives in 45 minutes.

You know how wives are.

I know.

Your wife doesn't
understand you.

I bet she wouldn't
even understand me.

I'll never give her that chance.

Oh, Duke, please, we've got

to hear that song just
once more before we part.

But we haven't time.

Arthur, it's our song.

Haven't you any sentiment?

I haven't time for sentiment.

Pardon me.

Play it just once
more, Hannah, please.

Surely.

Isn't this better
than the Stardust Room

all those people rubbing elbows.

Mm-hm.

It's been a lovely evening.

Why the past tense?

The evening is just beginning.

Oh David, you have
a one track mind.

Why don't you want to be kissed?

Might be habit forming.

Oh, and what do I have to do?

Get into striped
pants and cutaway

and wait for you at the
alter while you drift

down the aisle in orange
blossoms and lace?

Just for a kiss?

Not at all.

Just a simple country
wedding would suit me fine.

Debby, I value your
intelligence to highly

to insult you with any
rational thoughts of marriage.

Are men still
saying that to girls.

And what makes you so
wise, that college degree?

Did they give courses in
the technique of love?

Yes, David, and I
majored in resistance.

I'll bet you thought it
was a special delivery.

Surprise.

On account of I
drank all of yours up

and I thought maybe your
wife would ask questions.

Look Olive, I've
got to meet the train.

I was just leaving
to go to the station.

Maybe you'd better
keep the brandy.

But we didn't have
our farewell toast.

Olive, please, the train!

You didn't have
to sneak out on me.

Well I was nervous,
I wanted to check up

to see that everything
was in order.

Well, why didn't you say so.

I'd have been glad to
come back and help you.

Well it's all finished
now, shall we leave?

Just one last one
for farewell, Arthur.

It'll only take a minute.

But I washed all the glasses.

No drink, no go.

Olive, my wife's
train is traveling

in this direction
at 90 miles an hour.

I don't care if
your wife's train runs

right through this
room, do I get my drink?

Okay.

If you leave as soon
as you've had it.

You know what I'd like
to drink to, Arthur?

I'd like to drink to
Mrs. Average Housewife.

The backbone of our nation.

Is your wife the
backbone of our nation?

You leave Mae's
backbone out of this.

All right, then let's drink to...

Eh, just drink, no conversation.

All right, Arthur.

Now, we're signing off.

Hospitality is dead.

Cold stone dead.

Olive, stop that!

Arthur, I just
realized something.

I love you.

You can't! It's too late
and I only have a few minutes

to meet the train
and Mae will be furious...

Oh Mae, Mae.

We've done nothing
wrong, Arthur.

If you want me to
I'll stay right here

and explain the
whole thing to Mae.

Don't even joke
about such a thing.

You are joking aren't you?

You men are all alike.

Only thinking of yourselves.

You take the best
years of a girl's life.

I haven't known you for years.

Certainly not the best years.

The principle remains the same.

I'm not getting any
younger, Arthur.

That's completely
irrelevant, a non sequitur.

You watch your
language, Mr. Earthleigh.

Just because you picked me up

in a public bar doesn't
mean I'm not a woman

with a woman's feelings.

Oh Olive, will you
listen to reason,

we've got to get out of here.

You pushed me.

All right, I pushed
you, I apologize,

but get up, we've got to go!

I wouldn't go anywhere with you.

I wouldn't be seen
walking in public...

I'm going to count three

and if you don't get
out of here I'm, one.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,

threatening me, you fiend.

And me with a weak heart.

I feel faint Arthur.

Well you're not fooling me, two!

Arthur Earthleigh,
it isn't even a name.

It's a lisp.

- Three!
- Four!

- You're going home right now.
- Five, six.

- Quiet, sh.
- Seven!

Arthur Earthleigh
you're too physical.

Please, you're going!

Olive!

Olive!

Extra, read all about it!

Read all about the.

Extra, extra, read it here.

Extra, extra!

Viola, the night
air, my sinuses.

Excuse me.

Another body found! Hey, extra!

Read all about it.

Read all about The
Greenwich Village Murderer.

Extra!

Oh!

Oh.

Florence!

Please dear, I'm concentrating.

There's been a murder!

Will you ever remember
to shut the door?

I saw the body, I saw it.

Achoo!

Oh dear, if I catch cold
I'll never forgive you.

Body?

What body?

Send for the police.

Get me Mr. Galleo's apartment.

David.

Phone's ringing.

It does that quite often.

Pay no attention.

Better answer it.

Hello.

Excuse me for disturbing you,

but I thought
you'd like to know.

There's a body on your
terrace. A dead body.

Oh, thank you very much.
Just leave it there.

What's the matter?

Oh!

Is she dead?

I don't think so.

How did she get here?

Get some smelling salts
in the medicine chest.

Ah, feeling any better?

How did I get here?

You tell me.

Oh, I know you, you're
the man with the dog.

I used to be.

There were no smelling
salts so I brought brandy.

I'll forgive you.

Say do you know a
man about so low

by the name of Earthleigh?

Sure, he's my neighbor.

He struck me.

He struck you?

No!

He knocked me cold
or else I fainted.

You see, I have a bad heart.

And when I pass out
I really pass out.

People tell me I
look positively dead.

Then Earthleigh must
have thought he killed you.

So he dumps you on my terrace.

Why that's terrible I
never heard of such a thing.

How do you like that.

You can't even bury a
bone on his terrace,

but he can throw his
old dead bodies on mine.

Who's an old dead body!

Well he thought you were.

Oh, isn't he a heel
though, that Earthleigh.

Why I might really
have been dead.

We ought to report
him to the police.

Oh, no, don't do that.

The scandal would
ruin me socially.

I'm afraid it's too late.

Sounds like somebody's
already called the police.

Wait a minute, girls.

This may be my chance
to get back Rabelais.

You'll have to help me
Deborah, and you too.

Anything you say, handsome.

It's right in line with
my good neighbor policy.

Now listen.

- This the place?
- 10-4.

We don't need the assistance
of the junior crime club.

Yes, but I'm the one
who found the body.

And I'm the accomplice.

You're what?

I mean, we live together,
just above the crime.

Okay you two.

The rest of you go on home
and listen to your radios.

You'll hear about
it faster that way.

Come in.

We're from homicide

and we'll have to take
a look at your terrace.

I'll take it.

Oh, was one
of you ladies the one

who thought she saw
a body on my terrace?

I saw it.

I'm afraid the lady's mistaken.

No, I'm not.

I definitely saw a body.

Is this the body?

Well, is it?

Come on, was it?

Well it looked more dead.

Hysteria no doubt.

No, I tell you, I saw a
woman's body lying prone

on that terrace.

I always lie prone after
posing, it relaxes me.

Oh,

I'm sorry if I disturbed you.

Well, we're sorry
we've disappointed you.

We'll try to do
better the next time.

I'd have a sworn it.

If I hadn't seen her alive,
I'd have sworn she was dead.

Come dear.

Nobody's got better
eyesight than I have.

She was lying flat on her back.

Success.

Oh, there's a body in there!

A body?

Girls, I want you
to meet my first wife.

I keep her here purely
for sentimental reasons.

How do you do?

You ought to feed her
better, she looks anemic.

My first model when I
couldn't afford a live one,

given to me by an
artist who could.

Pillar to post, poor thing
I know just how she feels.

This whole thing has
unnerved me terribly.

I'm just a bundle of nerves.

You don't mind if I take a
little of your stimulant do you?

Another minute in that closet
and I'd have had an attack.

I'll just have to start
taking better care of myself.

You know Olive,

I'm very glad you
unearthed this dummy.

They are about the same size.

She's skinnier.

She's our corpus delicti,

she's been in that
closet too long.

It's about time she
had a decent burial.

Cecelia's coming in tomorrow

to look at that man's apartment.

I hope he is stubborn
about that dog

so we can have him evicted.

Good evening.

To bad you folks
didn't get here sooner.

You missed all the excitement.

Ow!

Arthur, be more careful.

What excitement?

The police just left.

The old maids on
12 found a body.

The old maids?
How'd it get there?

If those old maids found a body,

they wouldn't report
it to the police.

It was on the
terrace next to yours.

Galleo's. One of his
models, I understand.

You mean, she was murdered?

Well it was...

Er, wait a minute son, we
don't care to hear anymore,

this is none of our affair.

- Yeah but...
- But never mind.

Okay.

As soon as I hang
up my good things,

I'm gonna call
those two old maids

and find out what
really happened.

Oh, no, no Mae, let's
keep our nose out of this.

Why it might be a nasty scandal.

Arthur, what are
you so nervous about?

Hm?

You've been nervous

ever since you met
me five minutes late.

Something wrong?

Oh no, everything
is lovely, it's uh,

well it's just that I'm
so happy to have you home.

Oh how sweet.

Did you have an awful
time without me.

Yes Mae, you have no idea.

I think I'll get a
little fresh air.

Psst, Earthleigh.

Good evening neighbor,
uh, come here.

I would like to have
a word with you.

If it's about your dog
it's out of my hands.

It isn't about my dog.

It's about the dead body.

The dead body?

Yes, I found a body on my
terrace about an hour ago.

- An hour ago?
- It was still warm.

- You don't say?
- Mm hm.

How did she get there?

Oh, you're brilliant Earthleigh.

How did you guess it was a she?

Oh, well, so many
of them lately are.

Exactly, and I might be
suspected of all those murders.

What do you suppose I
ought to do about it?

Arthur?

For one thing,
speak a little softer.

Neighbor, I'm gonna
ask you to help me,

to show a little neighborliness.

What do you mean?

Well you see I'm an artist.

A bohemian, everyone's ready
to think the worst of me.

But you, you're a
respectable man,

you're in business, no one
would suspect anything of you.

Just think of what
a story it will make

if I'd told him the truth.

What a switch that would be.

Arthur, what's keeping you!

I'm coming.

Really Mr. Earthleigh
was dumping that poor girl

on my terrace your idea of
a decent Christian burial?

I didn't have time to think.
I had to get rid of her.

And you're more accustomed
to handling women than I am.

Not dead ones.

Arthur!

Did you call the police?

They were here but
I got rid of them.

Uh, they don't suspect yet.

What do you want me to do?

Not much, just help
me get rid of the body.

I'll do anything you say.

All right, I'll
call you at midnight.

Be prepared.

Prepared?

Yes, old clothes,
there'll be digging to do.

Oh, uh, and one more thing.

Take care of this,
my eviction notice.

This is blackmail, Mr. Galleo.

You're so right,
Mr. Earthleigh.

Yes.

Yes, of course.

Yeah, I understand, right away.

Who was that Arthur?

That was the boss.

The big boss. Wants me to
drive him to the airport.

At this time of night?

Well, planes
leave at all hours, Mae.

Oh no, Olive,
that's going too far.

I think she should have candles.

- No, Olive.
- Yes.

Whose body is this anyway?

Oh yours, you zombie.
But I don't want it too well lit.

That was my trouble
when I was alive.

Always too well lit.

She does look like me though.

Makes me feel kind of sad.

Poor Olive.

You were a good girl.

No one can say you were ever
anything but kind and good.

Whose fault was it that
you ended up like this?

Men, that's whose fault it was.

Men.

Arthur, you're not going

to wear that outfit
to the airport.

Why not?

What would your boss think?

You look like a tramp.

Well maybe he'll take
pity and offer me a raise.

You talk to him tonight about
that vice president's job.

Tonight's the perfect time
to get in some spade work.

Olive you shouldn't be here.

Don't you think you
ought to go home?

In this?

There are some dresses
in the models' closet,

grab one of those and beat it.

I want to go along
and see the fun.

Maybe you can show us
how that can be arranged.

Whose funeral is this anyway?

Go home, Olive.

Oh, there's Earthleigh now.

Into the closet, Olive.

Into the closet, Olive.

Out of my apartment, Olive.

Go home, Olive.

Pillar to post, post to
pillar, where will it all end?

Sh, quiet, Olive!

I'll take this
along for company.

You do love company, don't you.

Ah, what a well dressed
gravedigger will wear.

Please, I'm in
no mood for joking.

Well, there she is.

You wouldn't want to have
a last look would you.

No, thanks.

I didn't think so.

As a matter of fact,
I was counting on it.

Well, what are you
standing around moping for?

Get a move on.

Do you want your rod?

Quit talkin' so much
and do as you're told,

of course I want my rod.

Loaded?

Sure, what do you think? Dope!

Is that young
lady to be trusted?

Better be

I know the most
perfect spot down

in Westchester where
we can bury the body.

- Westchester?
- Mm-hm.

Here's your rod.

Oh, what's that thing for!

Oh, better safe than sorry.

Say you'd better have a drink
old man, steady your nerves.

There's a bottle over there.

Are you still here,

I thought I told you to
get that freight elevator.

I don't think I
know how to work it.

Okay half wit, I'll go with you.

You stay here.

Galleo! Oh, is
that you Galleo?

The strangest thing
just happened.

What's the matter?

Oh I feel faint now.

Well you'd better
have another drink.

But the bottle's gone,

it disappeared when
my back was turned.

Ah, you're imagining things.

No, no the bottle
was there and then...

Ah, you see it's still there.

Uh oh, too late.

Oh come on, no time to waste.

Give me a hand.

Here we go, ups-a-daisy.

Oh, it's a sad world. Sic transit
gloria... what was her name?

Olive.

Well, goodbye Olive.

Goodbye boys.

Did you hear that voice?

What voice?

Earthleigh, you've
got to steal yourself,

you've got a tough night ahead.

Did anyone see you?

Ah, don't talk so much.

I don't know why I
didn't just turn you in,

instead of helping
you out like this.

I guess I'm just a sucker
for a guy in a jam.

Had some pretty
close shaves myself.

Never murder though,
I draw the line there.

Olive Jensen's death was
a regrettable accident,

nothing more and you know it.

Oh, red hair.

Evidence like this could send
you straight to the hot seat.

Oh, oh, uh, maybe we'd
better put it in the trunk.

No, just blow it away.

Oh, well you blow it.

Oh, you blow it.

Case the street.

Gotcha.

Everything is jake.

Let's go.

It's a cop.

Cop? Do you want
to get us all hanged?

You want to get us all hanged?

Let's go.

Sh!

Butterfingers!

Sh!

Well, well, if it isn't
my friend Mr. Earthleigh.

May I help you?

Oh no, thanks.

No trouble at all.

Oh, thank you very much.

That's all right, good night.

Good night.

Earthleigh,
pull yourself together.

Come on.

I thought you said
this car could do 90.

No, no!

Come on step on
it, we can lose him.

90!

95!
No!

- 100!
- Oh, could you.

Step on it.

Driver's license.

Where do you think
you're going to, a fire?

No, to a funeral.

Very funny.

What have you got in the trunk?

A dead body.

Oh wise guy eh?

Judge will take care of you.

No respect for the dead.

Hey please, be quiet.

Take it easy from here on, bud.

Keep it down.

Take care of that big
shot, you got influence.

You're not taking
Olive to a dog kennel?

Not Olive she was a nice girl.

I'm picking up Rabelais.

I called them to get him ready.

Your dog? At this hour?

An alibi my good man,

in case anyone wonders
what you were doing

in the woods at this hour.

And stick to it pal,

even if they drive spikes
under your fingernails.

Remember, we're in this
thing together, no squealers.

- Hey you Rabelais.
- Hi, Rabelais.

Come here, boy.

Come on, get in the back.
Get under there boy.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- Good night.

Get out.

Bring the spade.

Gotcha.

You go wait in the car.
If you see anything, signal.

I'll stand guard here.

Gotcha.

Two by 2 1/2 by 3 1/2
oughtta do, start digging.

Uh huh, that's just right.

Ah, you take that end there.

Well, one, two.

Wait a minute.

Wouldn't you like
to say a few words,

something short and to
the point, but reverent.

Well.

She was a good girl.

She had a good heart.

A weak one, but a good one.

That's right.

No one could say anything but
that she was good and kind.

That's right, good and kind.

Thank you Arthur,

that's exactly what Olive
would want you to say.

Here we go.

Wouldn't you like
to do the honors?

I think you should throw
in the first spade.

- Oh no, no, thanks.
- Oh, go ahead.

Go ahead, yeah.

Olive Jensen, how
long she been missing?

- Four days.
- Mm-hm.

Four days.

Ever stay out before?

Never more than three days.

Mm-hm.

Suspicious circumstances.

Description?

Well I though this might help.

It's several years old, but
it's still very much like her.

I'd sure hate

to think the Greenwich Village
Murderer mutilated that.

I wouldn't worry too much, lady.

A dame like that could
be missing five days

under the most
pleasant circumstances.

But you will try and find her.

Will we?

Well, here is my
address and phone number.

What's her address
and phone number?

The same.

Oh I hope nothing's
happened to Olive.

I hope she's alive.

So do we lady, so do we.

Good morning, Deborah.

Are you still here?

I seem to be.

Won't you come in?

Where's David?

Asleep.

Asleep?

Oh, we were up until all hours.

He told me all about the
funeral, I nearly died.

Quite cozy aren't we?

Won't you sit down.

How 'bout a cup of coffee?

I have some on the stove.

No thank you, I had
my breakfast hours ago.

Cigarette?

No, thanks.

You know, I wish I'd
been at my funeral.

I wish you had too.

Must have been a scream.

Davy told me all about it.

I never laughed so
much in my life.

You should have
come back with him.

I bet you missed me terribly.

You're not going?

Davy wants you to
pose, doesn't he?

Why don't you do it?

You have nice eyes,
your legs are good,

and that henna in your
hair could be toned down.

If I didn't know you so well,

I'd say that was a dirty crack.

You don't know me
at all, and it is!

What'll I tell David?

Tell him Zantippy has changed
her mind about Rabelais.

She prefers someone
more discriminating.

Oh no, please, not again.

You're not a
child, you're a grown man.

Honestly when I think of you
out in the rain at midnight,

changing your boss's
tire, wallowing in mud

up to your elbows,
catching your death of cold

It's not my fault
if we got a flat tire.

I didn't say it was.

You're always making
issues, Arthur.

Well I feel better now, I
think I'll go to the office.

You'll do no such thing.

If it hadn't been for your boss
you wouldn't have this cold.

I have a notion to call

and give him a good
piece of my mind.

Oh, no, no, Mae, don't do that.

I'm going to get
you some hot lemonade,

you need something
to make you sweat.

Sweat?

I've done enough
of that already.

- Arthur?
- Yes!

Why Arthur, you look as
if you've seen a ghost.

A ghost, oh.

Where are you going?

I want to see my lawyer.

- Like that?
- Oh.

Arthur I refuse to let you leave

this house with that cold.

Well then, I'll have
to leave without it.

I gotta see my lawyer.

Hey, corpus delicti, come here,

I've got something for you.

Hiya, cookie!

Deborah not here yet?

My new dress.

Hasn't she phoned?

Oh David, it's beautiful.

You shouldn't have
been so extravagant.

Oh, well shrouds
come high this year.

Say, come on and eat,
I want you out of here

when Deborah arrives.

I could kiss you for this.

Mm, I hope she's
not going to be late.

I want to try something new,
something entirely different.

I wouldn't waste time
planning it if I were you.

Deborah's not coming back.

Back, was she here?

Oh, hours ago.

She's probably half way
to Philadelphia by now.

Well why didn't she wait?

I don't think Deborah
likes you anymore.

She said to tell you

Zantippy doesn't care
for Rabelais either.

- Oh, fine.
- Oh, come on

and have some coffee and
forget Philadelphia, David.

Go home Olive, you should
have gone home last night.

I didn't have anything to wear.

Well you have now.

Oh, I should have
carried you home

when I found you passed out,

instead of letting
you sleep it off here.

You're just like all the rest.

You take the best years
of a girl's life...

Olive, go home!

If I find you here
when I come back,

I'll throttle you.

Come on Rabelais we've got to
square things with Deborah.

I'll go.

I can take a hint.

What's that dog left on
your terrace now, Earthleigh?

I wish it were only
a question of a dog.

This is murder.

Don't tell me you
took the law and dog

in your own hands and killed it.

Well unfortunately
it isn't that simple.

Look, here read that.

Have you seen this girl?

Police are seeking the
whereabouts of Olive Jensen,

missing five days.

It is feared she
may be the victim

of Greenwich Village Murderer.

Earthleigh, have you
murdered this woman?

I won't talk until
I see my lawyer.

Well, who do you think I am?

- You, oh you, of course!
- All right.

Now, when did this happen?

Well it was done last night.

What time precisely?

My wife's train
got in at 10:15.

And I had to get rid of her.

Well isn't murder
going a little far

to get rid of your wife?

No, not my wife,
this Olive person.

If she was found
in my apartment,

my wife would have killed me.

Don't you or your wife
know any simpler way

of getting rid of people?

I mean figuratively.

Figuratively, this is
beyond anything figurative.

Murder is a fact, a
fact you can't recall.

And without looking in
any book in my office,

I can tell you it's a crime

to kill anybody
in New York State.

Well I'm not entirely
ignorant of the law.

Well, how long was
her, the body, cold.

Ever since I met her.

No, no, I
don't mean cold socially,

I mean cold physically.

Oh, about 18 hours.

And you failed to
notify the police?

Well I thought about it,

but I didn't know
what to tell them.

I didn't want to get
involved in this thing.

Where'd you hide the body?

I folded it in half, neatly,
and put it in an old trunk.

Are you serious?

And last night, in Westchester,

I buried the trunk behind The
Man's Best Friend Kennels.

Murder, concealment,

attempt to evade the
processes of law.

Earthleigh, are you
in your right mind?

Don't get personal!

I have to get personal!

Do you think it's going
to help my reputation

if you go to the
electric chair for this?

Well then sue my
estate for damages.

Ordinarily I don't
take criminal cases.

Ordinarily I
don't commit crimes.

So if you'll make
an exception for me,

I'll make one for you.

All right.

Now when was the last
time you saw her alive.

About an hour ago.

Well, her or her ghost.

But you buried her in a trunk
in Westchester last night!

But I saw her in my
apartment an hour ago.

Even Houdini couldn't
get out of a trunk buried

in Westchester that quick.

Well you don't know Olive.

What shall I do?

Do?

You've done enough already.

Now wait a minute, let me think.

Listen.

If you will follow my
instructions implicitly,

you'll have nothing
to worry about.

- Really?
- Absolutely.

I will take the
entire responsibility

and you can forget
the whole thing.

Oh, well this is wonderful.

Now first, you must
tell me everything.

Deny it to everyone else.

You never knew the woman,

you don't know
anything about a body,

you've never seen a trunk.

And if anyone questions you,

you are to be shocked,
hurt and indignant.

- Well, it's about time.
- Not interested.

Oh Deborah, quit
being so Philadelphia,

I've been waiting
for you all day long,

I've done 20 crossword puzzles.

Congratulations.

I never asked her
to stay all night.

I just couldn't get rid of her.

You can't blame
me for being angry

when I find a woman
making herself

at home in your apartment.

I was just as angry, I
practically threw her out.

Deborah, she's not my type.

Don't you believe me?

Oh, this is beginning to
sound like a domestic quarrel.

Well, I wish it were.

I wish it were.

Deborah, my tailor's
just around the corner.

I could own striped pants
and cut away this evening.

How about it?

Did you hear that Rabelais,

your boss is proposing marriage.

Let's make it a double wedding,

Zantippy and Rabelais
and you and me.

Well, could I let
you know at dinner?

I'll stop by for you at 7:30.

No, I'll stop by for you.

Not that I don't trust you,
but I'll stop by for you.

Come on Rabelais.

Ah, you're not going
to wake up here.

I'm supposed to be
playing this, dear.

Excuse me.

If this comes out,

I shall have made the greatest
scientific contribution

to the game of Patience
since, since Canfield.

Oh!

Oh!

What's wrong now, dear?

Seeing things again?

Oh!

Hello?

Mrs. Earthleigh?

There's a body on your terrace.

Sorry, I don't believe
I heard you correctly.

There's a body on your terrace.

On my terrace,
that's impossible!

Can we help you?

We thought we'd see you
before we called the police.

I can't imagine
how she got there.

Where am I?

Hi, girls.

- Oh, poor thing.
- Poor dear.

You're not dead.

- No.
- We thought you were.

Help me get her to the couch.

In the cupboard there's
some brandy, bring it to me.

Just lie down here,
lie down here quietly.

You've had an awful shock,
haven't you poor dear.

Do you think you could
have a sip of brandy?

I'll try.

Don't mind the taste,

just think of the
good it will do you.

There, feel better?

Maybe just a little more brandy?

- Oh.
- Oh, do you think she should?

Oh, it's a stimulant.

Now don't try to talk,
just tell us what happened?

He tried to kill me.

- Mr. Galleo?
- The artist?

- That bohemian?
- That monster.

Did he strike you?

Oh please don't
make me talk about it.

Maybe she needs a
little more stimulant.

Just give me the bottle.

You want us to call the police?

Oh no, think of my
family, my reputation.

Oh are you a debutante, dear?

Yes, I came out in '38 and
I haven't been home since.

Were you posing for that fiend?

He begged me to pose for him,

he told me he'd
make me immortal.

No punishment is bad
enough for a man like that.

I hope they string him up.

Some ice water, my dear.

Oh my, she's fainted again!

Now, now what?

Oh, I don't know, I
wish my husband were here.

He'd know what to do.

Good evening Mae, I've
got a surprise for you.

Arthur!

What's wrong!

Maybe he's allergic to flowers.

Is that what she meant when
she said he'd know what to do?

- Oh Arthur.
- Oh, what happened?

You fainted.

I told you not to go
out in your condition.

How'd she get here?

That Galleo tried to
murder her then left her

for dead on our terrace.

Is that what she told you?

I mean, she's not dead is she?

Oh no, no, just unconscious.

We gave her some brandy

and I don't think the
poor dear's used to it.

I wish Galleo and his dog
would stop dropping things

on our terrace.

Shouldn't we call the police?

Police, for heaven's sake no.

Well why not?

Oh, well, I don't want
them to find her here.

But why not?

Well, they might
want to question her.

Our consciences are clear.

Yeah, but think
of the notoriety.

After all, I'm a business man,

a respected member of society.

And a mother with a daughter
of the American Revolution.

This calls for action.

What are you gonna do with her?

Where are you going Arthur?

- To Galleo's.
- Oh no!

He's a dangerous man, a
murderer, he might kill you both.

I'm not afraid.

My isn't he brave.

Yes, but I think we'd
better call the police.

We might really need them now.

Oh, uh, let me,
where is the telephone?

In the bedroom.

What have you got there?

The body we buried last
night, it's come back.

But it's going to
haunt you, not me.

Oh, oh, what's that?

Olive's twin
sister, it's a dummy.

That's what we buried
in Westchester, pal.

Why you double crossing...

Uh uh, wait a
minute, just a minute.

Remember, you started all this.

From now on keep your
unconscious bodies off my terrace.

I've got more to do
than clean up after you.

Well, why did you dig her up?

Your lawyer dug her up and
he kept the trunk for evidence.

- Evidence?
- Mm-hm.

This wire came with the body.

It seems you're about to sue
me Earthleigh for blackmail,

defamation of character, fraud,

intimidation and trespassing.

I ought to punch
you in the nose.

I ought to punch you.

Leaving Olive on my terrace
for my wife to find.

Go ahead!

You owe me a
punch, I owe you one,

let's considered
blows exchanged.

You have a black eye,
I have a bloody nose.

Honor has been satisfied.

And Olive has a place
to sleep it off.

Oh no you don't,
I'm expecting Deborah,

I've had enough trouble
on account of Olive,

get her out of here.

Where am I gonna take her?

Back to my wife?

She'll call the police.

Can't you control
that wife of yours?

Oh, I don't know.

- I've never tried.
- I wish she was my wife.

You know what I'd do?

No, but I wish
she was your wife.

Well, that's your problem,

but don't try
leaving Olive here,

because the next time
I'll take her right back

to Mae with a full explanation.

Now beat it.

And take her with you, I've
got to finish dressing.

What happened?

What happened next door?

Don't you worry about
what happened next door.

That Galleo isn't gonna
bother us anymore.

I told him what I was gonna do

if he dumped any more of his
old dead girlfriends over here.

- But we've called the police.
- We?

- I did.
- Police!

Why don't you two mind
your own business.

If you two want to know
what's good for you,

you're gonna learn
to keep your nose

out of your neighbors affairs.

You can get into serious
trouble poking around

where you're not wanted.

Now go home!

And stay home!

- Arthur, what are...
- You get your hat and gloves!

- What?
- You heard,

oh, I'm sorry dear,
I was carried away.

Get your hat and gloves dear,

I was going to take
you out to dinner.

That's a lovely idea.

What about the police?

We called them because we
thought you were in danger.

Mae, didn't you think I
could take care of myself?

What kind of a husband
do you think you've got?

I am beginning to wonder.

Well, go get fixed up

and I'll take you out to
a nice air cool place.

Hey, where have I
seen you before lady?

I remember, she
was the body in 10B.

The artist model.

That's right.

Can't be you they've
murdered this time.

They found another body?

It's them old maids again,
this time it's in 10A.

If this one's a false alarm,

we're gonna lock them
two old biddies up!

- Oh, too late.
- Now just a minute you two.

We've got some
questions to ask you.

What about?

Well it ain't
information Please?

Oh David, I'm...

David, she's still here!

Oh, it's just a dummy
darling, remember?

Back from the grave to haunt us.

Olive!

Dummy!

Deborah, so help me,
Earthleigh left her.

Oh fine.

Deborah, you've
got to believe me.

Make it a good story David,
take all the time you want.

Oh, what's the use.

Come on.

Help me bring her
to, she'll tell you.

Snap out of it, come on Olive.

Snap out of it.

We know nothing about a body.

We're shocked,
hurt and indignant.

Those old maids must
have been seeing things.

Let's check their
story with the old maids.

Is that necessary?

Yes, it's necessary and
you can come along just

to see the job well done.

It's no use, she's
really out this time.

Shouldn't we call a
doctor, her heart?

Oh, she's got a heart
like a race horse.

There, she's coming to now.

Davy, darling, I'm back.

Was it all just a bad dream?

Olive, tell Deborah the
truth, tell her the truth now!

I love him, you can't have him.

Oh, that's all, Mr. Galleo.

Listen to me, Deborah.

I'll take you next door,

I'll prove this by
Earthleigh himself.

She's out again, you'd
better look after her.

I'm leaving.

Oh Deborah, stick with me,
you've got to believe me.

I'll show you what
I think of Olive.

I'll take her right
back where she belongs.

I won't be a part
of this monstrous lie.

We both saw the body.

There was an attempted murder

and Mr. and Mrs.
Earthleigh knew it.

They saw her right
in their living room.

We saw no attempted murder.

We're shocked,
hurt and indignant.

These old ladies
keep seeing bodies

like black spots
before their eyes.

- Liver trouble.
- He's lying.

All of us saw the body.

We saw it first
from our terrace.

That's right, come
here and I'll show you.

I was in here playing solitaire.

I stepped out for a
breath of fresh air,

crossed over to the rail,
looked down, there it was.

Oh!

There it is again!

Now tell me you don't see that
Mr. Earthleigh, tell me that.

Uh, this is where I came in.

And that's exactly how
she came to be there,

you've got to believe me.

Look, Olive is Arthur
Earthleigh's girl,

she doesn't mean anything to me.

There he is, David Galleo,
arrest that man, Officer,

he's the murderer.

Murderer?

He's the one my
husband's been shielding,

I don't know why.

But I've kept quiet
long enough, arrest him.

Better come along, Galleo.

Oh, what for?

If you did what this
lady said you did,

we've got enough on you to
get your charcoal broiled.

Will you kindly tell
me what the charges are?

Oh you poor girl,
are you all right?

Cheers everybody,
having a party?

Will somebody please
explain what's going on here?

I can explain the
whole thing with the help

of my friend and
neighbor, Mr. Earthleigh.

You leave Mr.
Earthleigh out of this.

How can I, Mr. Earthleigh
is very much in it.

Aren't you, Arthur.

If Arthur's done anything
wrong it's all your fault.

You and your dog and your women.

I suppose you're the new
favorite of his harem.

My dear Mrs. Earthleigh.

Why don't you climb down from
that stepladder respectability

and look at people at eye level.

You might like them.

Really?

Has it come to this.

When a decent married
woman must stand

in her own living room

and be insulted by a
woman of your type.

Oh!

Arthur!

Arthur, she struck me!

- Well, I'm sorry.
- You're sorry!

I'm sorry I didn't do it myself.

Arthur!

Sit down, Mae.

He's out of his mind.

I said sit down.

- What?
- Sit down!

Oh Arthur, what's come over you?

I don't know, but it feels good.

It started when I said
goodbye to you Saturday.

I've had a very exciting
Saturday and Sunday.

Hectic, but exciting.

Not a dull moment.

I drank and dined and
listened to low-down music

with a very entertaining
young woman.

She was crazy, but fun.

Oh, Arthur!

Don't interrupt me!

It was only by accident that
she spent the night here

and she changed that
stuffy little guest room

of yours all around.

And it looked fine.

But I put it back

because you wouldn't
have liked it that way.

Well I'm gonna have the
whole place done over

by Olive and Patricia Interiors.

That's a splendid idea.

Yeah, and furthermore,
I'm going to have a dog.

I like dogs.

Rabelais' about to be a father

and I'm putting in
my bid right now

for the biggest
pup in the litter.

It's yours.

And furthermore I've
never liked this thing!

And there goes your pineapple!

Officers, officers do
something, he's gone mad.

You bet I've gone mad.

I see a plea of
insanity coming up.

Of course I'm crazy,

crazy to put up with
this all these years.

Let me at that other pineapple.

Now look here Mister,
we didn't come here

to referee any family squabbles.

Just tell us, who was
murdered and by who.

No one was murdered by whom

and no one attempted any murder,

it was all a big joke,
a practical joke.

Who are you?

Olive Jensen's the name,
Miss Olive Jensen to you.

Olive Jensen?

You're the woman who's
been missing for five days.

Yes, and why
haven't you found me!

What kind of a police
department have we got?

Why I might have
been lost forever.

They found him.

Found who, dear?

The Greenwich Village Murderer,

captured in a rooming
house on 96th Street.

I always knew he
was from Uptown.

There they are now,
two minutes late.

Who, dear?

The Earthleighs.
Oh.

Mae, you forgot the sugar again.

Yes, dear.

Oh.

Good morning!

Good morning neighbor.

Good morning.

Oh David, you've
forgotten the cream again.

Yes, dear.

Oh, he forgot the cream again.

He's so forgetful.