Original subtitles

Mr. Young? Stop coloring.

I'm not coloring.

I'm preparing for an exciting lesson on human genome sequencing.

Well, forget that!

Daria Garraway from the show Timeline

is coming to interview you, the world's youngest high school teacher.

And she's going to do it in this room,

so maybe put something science-y on the board.

She wants to interview me?

That's cool!

No.

It's not cool. It's terrifying.

You'd better not make me or this school look bad.

Don't worry. I'll only tell her the good stuff.

And once those 20 seconds are up, I'll just vamp.

Perfect.

And to make sure it goes well,

I got rid of the three biggest troublemakers in your class:

Derby, Slab, and Echo.

Why just them? What about my other students?

They never do anything. They never even speak.

I don't know how you grade them.

Wait a second.

What do you mean, you "got rid of them?"

What did you do?

Relax. Nothing bad.

What happened?

I don't know.

I guess we fell asleep in the hallway,

because, clearly, we're still at school.

I simply knocked them out, put them in a van, and dumped them

as a fake version of Finnegan High I had built in a secluded warehouse.

By the way, if the interviewer asks if I ever do that sort of thing,

just fake a coughing fit.

? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed.

Oh, you're very welcome.

I'm a big fan.

I loved that piece you did

with the whistle-blower

who blew the whistle on cheating

at the whistle-blowing competition.

Well, be sure to watch this week's episode

where I "uncover" a "cover-up"

at the blanket factory.

No clever wordplay there,

just a heinous murder.

Adam Young... you're a genius.

You could've done anything you wanted with your life.

Why become a science teacher?

I wanted to get kids excited about science.

And how has that worked out?

[kids screaming]

Science...

Are you hiding a comic book in your textbook?

No! I wouldn't do that. I'm just openly reading it.

Today, we're going to learn about the solar system.

Ahem.

Sorry. Today I'm going to teach about the solar system.

- Some of you will sleep through it. - Thank you.

[steam hissing, kids gasping]

[snoring]

Really? Even when there's an explosion?

Now we have science class.

Nope.

It's worked out great.

My students have a deep love and respect for science.

[snorts and giggles] Heh!

Sorry.

I was thinking of a funny story I heard about a... blanket factory.

Okay.

What about the administration?

How did Principal Tater react to having a kid teach at his school?

I'm principal of Finne...

A local high school,

and we have some of the worst teachers.

One of them's a kid!

A kid teacher? That is wild!

I told the school board

it was a mistake to hire a child as a teacher,

and as is usual... Would you stop that?

Hey-hey! Welcome to the partay!

Why are we having a party?

It's Mr. Young's going-away party!

Well, more like "gone away" party, since he's already gone.

Candy apple?

Mr. Young... I've been thinking about your place at Finnegan High.

[Adam] Oh?

You no longer have one. You're fired.

[Adam] What?

I think it's safe to say he couldn't be happier.

Something seems weird about this place.

Yeah. And have you noticed how the same guy

keeps crossing back and forth in front of us?

It's like some low-budget TV show that can only afford one extra.

And my lockers are empty!

Who stole all the stuff I stole?

Maybe we should go to Mr. Tater's office and ask him what's going on.

You mean, instead of going to the classroom

we are expected to go to,

we try to open this other door

no one planned for us to try and open?

It's locked.

You know who could let us in? Dang!

What in Dang's name is going on here?

[coughing]

I think what Mr. Young is trying to say is...

fake school?

Who would even think of that?

Okay, let's move on.

How do you deal with controlling your students?

You're the same size as them... In some cases, smaller.

Plus, he has those lady-like arms.

Is that ever a problem?

My key!

My sammich!

My keycard!

My space sammich!

You'll all take the test, and you'll like it.

No, we won't.

You won't take it, or you won't like it?

Yes.

Whoa!

[rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat]

[clang!]

Not once.

If you show students you're in charge, you command their respect.

[chortling]

Heinous murder.

But it must get weird teaching kids your own age,

especially when it comes to girls.

You wanted to see me after class?

Yes.

Well, I'm here.

Thank you.

You wanted to see me after class?

Yes.

Well, I'm here.

Thank you.

I'm... gonna go now.

Adam, do you have a minute?

Echo! Of course, I have a minute.

Or an hour.

Or an entire lifetime filled with joy and laughter and, yes, tears.

But tears of joyful laughter.

It's amazing that you're able to clone an animal.

Could you do that to a person?

No. Of course not.

Ow!

Friday is the six-month anniversary

of the first time I got close enough to smell Echo's hair.

Oh! Happy stalker-versary.

Picture this...

"Oh, no! Who will help me with all this homework?"

"I, Adam Young, your humble servant for the day, will help you."

"Oh! You're the greatest. Thank you."

[smooching]

It's headed right for us!

Bet you all wish you had a bucketlist now. I don't need one.

There's only one thing I want to do before it's too late.

[incoming whistle] Echo, I love...

[thud!]

I bet he was gonna say "s'mores."

I mean, who doesn't love s'mores?

- What do you think? - Is that a wedding dress?

No. This is my Lady Guinevere costume.

Oh.

I just don't think of any of my students that way,

although I certainly wouldn't be surprised if anyone felt that way about me.

I also have no relationships with women.

There.

Now we can use this opening to get through this door.

See?

[eerie theme plays]

What is this place?

I've been sent to the principal's office many times,

and it is not this... nice.

[eerie music plays]

We've got to figure out where we are.

"School wardrobe"?

This is cute!

This is just the kind of thing I'd wear.

[gasps]

This is just the kind of thing I'd wear!

[gasps]

This is just the kind of thing I'd wear.

Private schools have uniforms, and studies have shown that uniforms help

create a more serious learning environment.

Have you ever considered adopting them?

No need, though there is one guy here everyone loves,

and he always wears a uniform.

I wouldn't really call a sweater vest a "uniform,"

but it's true, everyone does love me.

[Adam] I mean...

Dang.

- You called? - [shrieks]

- Oh... Dang! - You called?

[shrieks]

Dang!

Yes?

[robots whirring]

[ding-fwap-fwap-fwap-fwap]

Next up for bid, our beloved janitor, Dang.

Where is he?

- Hello. - [gasp]

Who will start the bidding?

$10.

- 20! - [gasp]

[Derby] Oh, no, you don't!

30!

We have 30. Do I hear 40?

Too rich for my blood.

You broke Santa's sleigh!

At least we'll go out with a bang.

You called?

Aaaah!

- Dang. - You called?

[gasp]

Dang, you're not a digital version of you.

How are you even here?

You say "Dang," I show up. You say "ahh!"

That is the way it works.

- Dang! - [Dangs] You called?

[yelps]

I guess I did.

[all grunting]

N'yaaaaa!

Yaaaa!

[eerie music plays]

[nearby laughter]

[laughter continues]

What if Echo and the science teacher get together?

Nah, it's too soon.

Let's just put everyone in funny costumes.

These people are deciding what happens to us.

They should worry about themselves. I mean, look at them.

They're so unkempt and out of shape.

[Slab] Ooh, pizza.

They've seen us.

Get 'em.

Run!

Having someone like you as a science teacher must be exciting.

I do like to expose my students to cutting-edge research.

You probably do some pretty crazy experiments.

Does that ever cause any problems?

- [earth rumbling] - Just teaching science.

Cool, cool science.

[screaming]

What's this?

[beep-whir]

Echo, don't!

Photo-bomb!

[zapping]

Oh, no!

Oh! We've got to do something before...

Before what?

Nice hamster. Remember me?

Daddy?

Aaaaaah! Help!

What's that, Newton?

We should get a closer look at this twister?

[like a monkey] Ooh-ooh-ooh...

[tornado whooshing]

Whoa!

Hey, Echo. I, uh... whipped up some throat-spray, to help your voice.

You think my voice needs help?

Uh... [chuckles] did I say "help"?

I meant protection, because it's so perfect.

[bass voice] How can you tell if this stuff is working?

So, I figured, by creating a potion that adjusts my hormonal balance,

I can make myself more courageous in potentially romantic situations.

Let's give it a shot.

Do you feel any different?

Do I feel any different?

[gasps] Are you saying I look fat in these pants?

Uh, okay, I think your hormones may be a little unbalanced.

[tearfully] How could you say that to me?

I just can't seem to do anything right!

[voice breaks] I've just got so much going on right now.

Oh! Can I have this water?

Wait!

Next time you're thirsty, let me get you a bottle of water.

I have one in my bag.

[clothes ripping]

What?

So, let's have the antidote.

Antidote?

So we're stuck like this?

Get 'im!

Hey... where'd he go?

Of course not.

Nothing goes wrong when you follow the scientific method

and proper safety protocols.

[Tater] What does this do?

What?

The box says "shake."

It says "do not shake."

It still has "shake" in it.

[action theme plays]

Over there!

We did it! We escaped. I think we should go back.

What? Why?

Give me your lunch, nerd writers!

[snarling]

[Slab] Okay...

Okay. Forget it.

I know you're gonna want to make this story about me,

but let's make sure we focus on what's really important... the science.

And, yes, the way I teach it.

So when will this be on?

It won't. I'm killing the story.

What?

Why?

You may be a kid, but that doesn't seem to affect anything.

This place is boring.

It just sounds like your basic, run-of-the-mill high school.

Adam! You'll never believe what just happened to us.

We were held captive in a fake high school.

And our lives were being dictated by a bunch of evil writers.

I would've brought back some evidence for you,

but those writers are really protective of their lunches.

I wonder if we'll ever find out how we ended up in that fake school.

[coughing]

? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? 'Cause seasons change, Well, so do I ?

? But today was the first day I saw them ?

? Start to recognize ?

? That the boy inside ?

? Is a man who's fighting everyone outside ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? 'Cause people change, Well, so do I ?

? Today was the first day ?

? I saw you start to recognize ?

? That this boy inside ?

? Is a man who's fighting everyone outside ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? You can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? You can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Oh, no ?

? I won't show ?

? Oh, no ?

? I won't show ?

? My cards ?

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