All language subtitles for Mr Young s03e22 Kidd.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,355 --> 00:00:06,480 Thanks for going jogging with me, Adam. 2 00:00:11,522 --> 00:00:14,105 No problem. I love jogging. 3 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,480 Why do you think I own this jogging outfit? 4 00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:19,188 It's not like I dug it out of my grandfather's armoire 5 00:00:19,272 --> 00:00:22,438 after you called and invited me jogging and I looked up what jogging was. 6 00:00:24,647 --> 00:00:26,230 Well, I'm glad we're doing it in here. 7 00:00:26,313 --> 00:00:29,563 If I've learned one thing from police procedural shows, 8 00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:32,563 it's that outside, joggers always find dead bodies. 9 00:00:32,647 --> 00:00:34,438 Uggh! [thud!] 10 00:00:39,397 --> 00:00:41,938 It's Mrs. Straupersson! The geography teacher! 11 00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:44,563 And she's lying in a pool of her own hay! 12 00:00:47,272 --> 00:00:49,022 She has no pulse. 13 00:00:49,105 --> 00:00:50,272 Because she's a scarecrow. 14 00:00:50,355 --> 00:00:52,730 On a separate matter, she's dead. 15 00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:55,022 [shrieks] 16 00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:57,563 I understand, Echo. Seeing a dead body can be unnerving. 17 00:00:57,647 --> 00:01:00,188 It's not that body! It's yours. 18 00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:04,855 Please... get some longer shorts! 19 00:01:07,730 --> 00:01:10,855 ? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ? 20 00:01:12,730 --> 00:01:14,813 ? We've been trying to get here ? 21 00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:18,563 ? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ? 22 00:01:18,647 --> 00:01:21,980 ? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ? 23 00:01:22,063 --> 00:01:24,730 ? Who you callin' kid? ? 24 00:01:24,813 --> 00:01:26,438 ? Can call me what you want ? 25 00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:27,897 ? But I won't hear a word ? 26 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:31,813 ? Where I am here ? 27 00:01:31,897 --> 00:01:33,438 ? Who you callin' kid? ? 28 00:01:37,522 --> 00:01:38,897 [Echo] Wait! 29 00:01:54,772 --> 00:01:56,147 She may be gone, 30 00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:58,355 but at least we can take some comfort 31 00:01:58,438 --> 00:01:59,730 in knowing that I can 32 00:01:59,813 --> 00:02:01,272 finally fix this jacket. 33 00:02:04,897 --> 00:02:06,938 She'll always be with us. 34 00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:09,230 Well, when you're wearing that jacket. 35 00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:12,105 Whoo. That was rough. 36 00:02:12,188 --> 00:02:16,063 I know. I already told Adam to put on some longer shorts. 37 00:02:16,147 --> 00:02:19,688 Not that. I had to break the news to Straupersson's family. 38 00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:23,647 They were so shocked, 39 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:24,956 they couldn't even say anything. 40 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,647 They just stood there, staring at me. 41 00:02:28,438 --> 00:02:30,938 Nothing in principal school prepares you for that. 42 00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:33,230 Or for anything, really. 43 00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:36,813 Look at this place! 44 00:02:36,897 --> 00:02:39,730 Straw stains are nearly impossible to get out. 45 00:02:44,438 --> 00:02:45,897 Oh! I was wrong. 46 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:48,938 Someone needs to pay for this. 47 00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:52,313 I will not rest until I find Mrs. Straupersson's killer! 48 00:02:52,397 --> 00:02:53,772 Hey, everyone. 49 00:02:55,563 --> 00:02:58,188 Oh, thank goodness. I was getting really tired. 50 00:02:58,272 --> 00:03:00,230 If you need me, I'll be resting in my office. 51 00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:03,980 Can't... make it. 52 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,897 Ivy? 53 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,647 You killed Mrs. Straupersson? 54 00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,188 What? No! 55 00:03:13,272 --> 00:03:16,063 Then explain why you're covered in hay. 56 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,730 Whoo! 57 00:03:20,897 --> 00:03:23,647 [thinking] I can't tell them I'm taking square-dancing lessons. 58 00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,730 It's too embarrassing! 59 00:03:25,813 --> 00:03:27,605 I'm dating a horse. 60 00:03:28,438 --> 00:03:30,063 Nice try, missy. 61 00:03:30,147 --> 00:03:32,647 We know that you and Chattanooga Charlie broke up. 62 00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:37,438 You know, we could hold a student court and put Ivy on trial. 63 00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,147 Great idea. 64 00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:42,563 We just need to find someone super-smart to be the judge. 65 00:03:42,647 --> 00:03:45,063 Derby! You want to be a judge? 66 00:03:45,147 --> 00:03:47,022 Of what? 67 00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:49,688 This year's Miss Bikini contest? 68 00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:52,272 No! Of student court. 69 00:03:52,355 --> 00:03:55,522 Oh. Will everyone be wearing bikinis? 70 00:03:55,605 --> 00:03:57,730 Well, I can't speak for everyone, but... 71 00:03:57,813 --> 00:03:59,855 I'm game! 72 00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,688 You know who should be the judge? 73 00:04:01,772 --> 00:04:04,647 Echo? Dang? Mr. Straupersson? 74 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:07,438 The Strauperssons' dog? Ivy? 75 00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:10,022 Ivy's the prime suspect. 76 00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:12,188 Who better to know if she's guilty? 77 00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:15,563 I should be the judge! 78 00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:19,188 I'm smart. Impartial. 79 00:04:19,272 --> 00:04:21,730 I have a robe. 80 00:04:21,813 --> 00:04:22,897 Ooh. Could I borrow it? 81 00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:25,272 I'm going to be awfully chilly in my bikini. 82 00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:28,855 [dramatic soundtrack plays] 83 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:34,022 This isn't fair! You can't punish me without a trial! 84 00:04:34,105 --> 00:04:35,563 You haven't been punished yet. 85 00:04:35,647 --> 00:04:38,647 Uh, hello? I'm wearing orange! 86 00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:41,730 And my accessories are a little matchy-matchy. 87 00:04:45,813 --> 00:04:48,438 Don't worry, Ivy. You've got me as your lawyer. 88 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,563 A kid lawyer? 89 00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:52,730 Sounds like the premise of some implausible sitcom. 90 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,855 Trust me. I'm your man. 91 00:04:54,938 --> 00:04:57,022 No one gets away with more stuff than me. 92 00:04:57,105 --> 00:05:00,105 Isn't that right, you bald fart-clown? 93 00:05:00,188 --> 00:05:02,522 Hey. You can't call me that. 94 00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:06,147 - It wasn't me! - All right, then. 95 00:05:06,855 --> 00:05:08,480 All rise. 96 00:05:10,438 --> 00:05:12,105 [sighs] 97 00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:17,480 The honorable Judge Young presiding. 98 00:05:17,563 --> 00:05:18,772 "Judge Young"? 99 00:05:18,855 --> 00:05:21,688 Sounds like the name of some implausible sitcom. 100 00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:25,897 You may be seated. 101 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,397 Finally. 102 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,730 Let's begin with opening arguments. 103 00:05:32,813 --> 00:05:37,188 [courtroom bickering] 104 00:05:37,272 --> 00:05:38,313 [gavel raps] 105 00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,813 Thank you. 106 00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:42,855 Mr. Tater, call your first witness. 107 00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:47,897 I call to the stand... Dang. 108 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,605 - You called... - Aaaaah! 109 00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:53,605 Me to the stand? 110 00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,522 Dang, have you ever witnessed 111 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:59,272 Ivy and Mrs. Straupersson not getting along? 112 00:05:59,355 --> 00:06:00,730 Yes. 113 00:06:00,813 --> 00:06:02,313 Yesterday, in fact. 114 00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,063 [gasp, gavel raps] 115 00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:07,938 Please hold all your gasps to the end. 116 00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:11,147 I was cleaning up after school when I overheard 117 00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:14,355 the two of them arguing in Mrs. Straupersson's class. 118 00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:17,105 Ivy was all, "I don't want to do this assignment." 119 00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:19,188 and Mrs. Straupersson was all... 120 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,022 So, Ivy murdered Mrs. Straupersson 121 00:06:25,105 --> 00:06:26,938 to get out of doing her geography assignment? 122 00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:31,397 It was an impossible assignment! The questions were about made-up places! 123 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,772 Like "New Zealand." 124 00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:35,438 New Zealand is a real place. 125 00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:39,438 Oh, yeah? Then why is there no "Zealand"? 126 00:06:39,522 --> 00:06:42,022 Actually, there's a town called Zealand in New Brunswick. 127 00:06:42,105 --> 00:06:44,813 Yeah, but there's no "Brunswick." 128 00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:47,147 Yes, there is. Brunswick is a town in New England. 129 00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:51,230 Aha! Then explain why there's no England. 130 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,188 Ach! She got us! 131 00:06:57,313 --> 00:06:58,855 Derby? Your witness. 132 00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:02,313 I call to the stand Dang. 133 00:07:02,397 --> 00:07:05,105 - I am already here. - Aaaah! 134 00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:10,313 You weren't born in this country, were you, Dang? 135 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,980 [Eastern soundtrack plays] 136 00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:16,980 [speaking Vietnamese] 137 00:07:23,938 --> 00:07:26,147 [plop!] 138 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,313 [baby cries] 139 00:07:30,397 --> 00:07:32,147 [parents shriek] 140 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,730 No, I was born in Vietnam. But what difference does it make? 141 00:07:38,813 --> 00:07:42,313 You claim to have overheard an argument. 142 00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:45,188 But you don't speak English as goodly 143 00:07:45,272 --> 00:07:48,855 as us personites who did am be born in this countryland, does you? 144 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,605 I do not understand what you are saying. 145 00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,730 Case cozily. 146 00:08:03,647 --> 00:08:05,688 Mr. Tater, call your next witness. 147 00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:07,605 Right away, your honor. 148 00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:13,938 [ringing] 149 00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:15,855 [ringing] 150 00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:17,147 Hello? 151 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,397 It's Mr. Tater calling... 152 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,480 you to the stand. 153 00:08:21,438 --> 00:08:24,522 I object! He's the judge. 154 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,438 I'm going to allow it. 155 00:08:26,522 --> 00:08:29,272 I want to hear what this bright young man has to say. 156 00:08:29,355 --> 00:08:30,563 Mr. Young... 157 00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:33,230 I've called you to the stand as an expert witness 158 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,480 to give scientific testimony. 159 00:08:35,563 --> 00:08:37,397 I would've called a real science expert, 160 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,480 but Mr. Hodsden, the gym teacher, is at his psychic. 161 00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:46,938 These fibers were found on the defendant Ivy Young. 162 00:08:47,022 --> 00:08:50,647 Can you confirm or deny... 163 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,105 but really confirm... 164 00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:54,897 that this is straw? 165 00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,438 Yes, I can. 166 00:08:56,522 --> 00:08:59,022 There is a highly scientific test 167 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,480 to determine if a substance is, in fact, straw. 168 00:09:04,063 --> 00:09:06,772 Yep! This is straw, y'all. 169 00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:11,355 No further questions. 170 00:09:13,147 --> 00:09:16,022 So you're a "science" expert? 171 00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:18,855 Why have I never heard of this "science?" 172 00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:20,579 Because you always sleep through my class. 173 00:09:20,605 --> 00:09:22,938 I am not the one on trial here! 174 00:09:25,355 --> 00:09:26,647 Okay. 175 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,772 You claim... that this is straw. 176 00:09:30,688 --> 00:09:32,522 Then why can't I use it 177 00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,813 to drink any of this... frosty lemonade? 178 00:09:41,438 --> 00:09:43,313 Objection! 179 00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,355 I stole Derby's lunch earlier. 180 00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,772 That lemonade should be mine. 181 00:09:49,563 --> 00:09:50,980 Sustained. 182 00:09:54,688 --> 00:09:56,022 Call your next witness. 183 00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:58,063 I call Mrs. Byrne. 184 00:09:58,147 --> 00:10:02,105 [sultry soundtrack plays] 185 00:10:02,188 --> 00:10:04,480 [husky voice] I was hoping you'd call. 186 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:15,022 I wish justice really was blind. 187 00:10:23,147 --> 00:10:25,772 What can I do for you, big boy? 188 00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:27,844 Mrs. Byr... [voice cracks] Ahem. 189 00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:33,272 Mrs. Byrne, do you remember seeing anything suspicious 190 00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:34,647 after school yesterday? 191 00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,772 No. 192 00:10:35,855 --> 00:10:37,789 Do you remember where you were yesterday after school? 193 00:10:37,813 --> 00:10:39,230 No. 194 00:10:39,313 --> 00:10:41,688 Do you know where you are now? 195 00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,522 No. 196 00:10:44,397 --> 00:10:46,438 Is there anything you'd like to add? 197 00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,522 Yes. Whipped topping. 198 00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,647 It makes everything better. 199 00:10:57,813 --> 00:10:59,563 No more questions. 200 00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,397 I think we should take a short recess. 201 00:11:08,855 --> 00:11:12,438 Next, I'd like to call Principal Tater to the stand. 202 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,522 Your honor? Permission to gasp? 203 00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:17,855 - Granted. - [gasps] 204 00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:22,063 I am going to show that the defendant 205 00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,563 has exhibited a pattern of disrespect to authority. 206 00:11:24,647 --> 00:11:27,022 That's not true, you bald loser! 207 00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:29,480 [shrieks] She's going to murder me! 208 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,730 All she did was call you a bald loser. 209 00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:36,313 Everyone knows name-calling is a stepping stone to... murder! 210 00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:41,355 Is there a point to this? So she called him a bald loser one time. 211 00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:42,897 I wouldn't call that a pattern. 212 00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:47,105 I would. Male pattern... baldness! 213 00:11:48,522 --> 00:11:50,105 Zinger! High-five. 214 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,230 [whispers] Not the time. 215 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,480 I would like to read this list of things Ivy has called me. 216 00:11:56,563 --> 00:11:57,980 Go ahead. 217 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,438 [clears throat] 218 00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:04,272 Baldy... Baldman, Baldy Balderson... 219 00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:06,355 Baldy McBaldybald... 220 00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:08,730 Rabbi Baldy Baldstein, 221 00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:11,480 Admiral Baldy of the S.S. Baldwin, 222 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:14,188 Baldylocks and the Three Balds, 223 00:12:14,272 --> 00:12:16,730 Baldy the Clown, Baldo Baggins, 224 00:12:16,813 --> 00:12:18,605 "Where's Baldo?" 225 00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,563 the Belle of the Bald, 226 00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:22,480 the Bald and the Not-at-all-Beautiful... 227 00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:25,438 Baldenstein... 228 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,313 the Bride of Baldenstein... 229 00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:34,313 the Fresh Prince of Bald Hair, 230 00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:36,730 Prima Balderina, 231 00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:38,730 Dudvig von Baldthoven, 232 00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:40,480 Lucille Bald, 233 00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,438 Unhairy Baldafonte... 234 00:12:43,313 --> 00:12:44,855 Baldman the Dork Knight... 235 00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:50,188 and high school principal. 236 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,313 Would the court reporter please read back the transcript? 237 00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:57,147 Baldy, Baldman, 238 00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,188 Baldy Balderson, Baldy McBaldybald... 239 00:12:59,272 --> 00:13:01,730 Objection! What is the point of this? 240 00:13:01,813 --> 00:13:03,313 It's funny. 241 00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:06,855 Uh... Fine. Derby, your witness. 242 00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:10,188 My client admits that she called you those things, 243 00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:12,480 but that's not proof she's a murderer. 244 00:13:12,563 --> 00:13:14,772 It's proof that, A, you're bald... 245 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,855 and B, she recognizes that you're bald. 246 00:13:20,313 --> 00:13:22,897 You just want Ivy in prison because she was mean to you. 247 00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,772 She called me... 248 00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:27,022 "high school principal." 249 00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:31,063 - How would you like to be called that? - I would not. 250 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,147 But that's no reason to lock this innocent girl away 251 00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:40,563 with hundreds of the most depraved, naughty, unredeemable girls. 252 00:13:41,063 --> 00:13:42,480 Wait a second. 253 00:13:42,563 --> 00:13:44,397 I did it! 254 00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:49,147 I killed Mrs. Straupersson! Put me in girl prison. 255 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,188 You would have to go to dude prison, with other dudes. 256 00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:55,522 Oh. 257 00:13:55,605 --> 00:13:57,897 Then I did not do it. 258 00:13:57,980 --> 00:13:59,938 It was probably Ivy. 259 00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:02,230 Derby! 260 00:14:02,313 --> 00:14:04,647 You're supposed to be proving to these people 261 00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:07,605 that I would never hurt anyone! 262 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:15,355 Prosecution rests. 263 00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:21,313 [Tater sighs] 264 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,563 What should we do? Everyone thinks I'm a murderer! 265 00:14:30,397 --> 00:14:33,147 Great! Then I've done my job. 266 00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,855 Derby! You're supposed to be defending me. 267 00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:38,147 What? But you're guilty. 268 00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:40,272 Okay, okay. 269 00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,313 I call to the stand... 270 00:14:42,397 --> 00:14:44,063 Echo Zizzleswift. 271 00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:50,272 Ms. Zizzleswift, 272 00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:53,230 I have subpoenaed you to be a character witness. 273 00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,605 Okay. What character would you like? 274 00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:58,230 The smalltown girl who moves to the big city? 275 00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,938 [gasp] Gee, golly whiz! 276 00:15:01,022 --> 00:15:04,980 There sure are a lot of big, tall buildings around here. 277 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:09,022 The washed-up policeman who's needed back on the force? 278 00:15:09,105 --> 00:15:11,605 I'm no good to anyone no more. 279 00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:15,105 I get the jitters ever since I saw what those animals did 280 00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:18,272 to that smalltown girl who moved to the big city. 281 00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:21,855 The old Irishman who feels like his neighborhood 282 00:15:21,938 --> 00:15:23,522 is being overrun by those filthy... 283 00:15:23,605 --> 00:15:25,188 Okay! No. 284 00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:29,480 He meant character witness, as in talking about Ivy. 285 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:30,980 Oh. 286 00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:35,230 Echo, you're on the cheerleading squad with Ivy, right? 287 00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,397 - Yes. - Do you think she's capable of murder? 288 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,522 Yes. 289 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,897 The former head cheerleader has been missing for three months. 290 00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:46,563 She's not missing! I know exactly where I left her. 291 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,313 I mean, where she went on vacation. 292 00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:53,605 I have some questions for this witness. 293 00:15:54,772 --> 00:15:58,938 This "cheerleading" you speak of... did you bring the uniform? 294 00:15:59,022 --> 00:16:02,105 "Did you... bring the uniform? 295 00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:05,938 Judge Young stares at witness creepily." 296 00:16:08,188 --> 00:16:10,313 I just think you need to prove to the court 297 00:16:10,397 --> 00:16:12,230 that you are really a cheerleader. 298 00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:21,063 Well, I guess I could do a cheer. Here's one Ivy wrote last week. 299 00:16:25,105 --> 00:16:27,813 A homework assignment? Could this day worsen? 300 00:16:27,897 --> 00:16:31,688 If I have to do it, I'm going to kill Straupersson! 301 00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:33,563 Give me a K! 302 00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:34,688 K! 303 00:16:34,772 --> 00:16:36,772 - Give me an I! - I! 304 00:16:36,855 --> 00:16:38,647 - Give me an L! - L! 305 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,730 - Give me another L! - L! 306 00:16:40,813 --> 00:16:43,480 - Give me a knife! - Knife! 307 00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,313 Or maybe a big rock! 308 00:16:45,397 --> 00:16:46,813 Rock! 309 00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:55,313 I have no questions for this witness. 310 00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:56,938 This looks bad. 311 00:16:57,022 --> 00:16:58,688 Objection. 312 00:16:59,897 --> 00:17:01,522 This looks good. 313 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:07,230 Any lawyer in their right mind would never do what I'm about to do. 314 00:17:07,313 --> 00:17:09,772 But I'm not any lawyer. 315 00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:12,480 Seriously, I'm not a lawyer. 316 00:17:14,313 --> 00:17:17,022 I call Ivy Young to the stand. 317 00:17:22,022 --> 00:17:24,897 I only have one question for you. 318 00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:27,522 Did you kill Mrs. Straupersson? 319 00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:28,938 Of course not! 320 00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:31,313 If I had, there'd be no body. 321 00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:34,022 You'd all just think she's on a long vacation. 322 00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:37,105 Well, what do you have to say 323 00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:39,522 to all these people who think you got rid of her 324 00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:41,147 to avoid doing homework? 325 00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:45,188 I'd say they're wrong... Because I did the assignment. 326 00:17:46,772 --> 00:17:49,022 I'd like to enter this into evidence. 327 00:17:51,105 --> 00:17:52,605 Echo... 328 00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,272 please mark this assignment "Exhibit D"... 329 00:17:55,355 --> 00:17:56,605 minus. 330 00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:01,688 Why am I marking this assignment? I'm not a kid teacher. 331 00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:06,313 Though that does sound like the premise of a hilarious sitcom. 332 00:18:07,897 --> 00:18:10,647 If you really did do your homework, then... 333 00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:14,897 she should be able to answer a few simple geography questions. 334 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:18,105 - Uh... sure. - Question one. 335 00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:21,022 If Antarctica is in the southern hemisphere, 336 00:18:21,105 --> 00:18:22,938 what's in the northern hemisphere? 337 00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:26,980 Uncle Arctica? 338 00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:28,688 Question two. 339 00:18:28,772 --> 00:18:31,563 In what country would you find the Great Wall of China? 340 00:18:31,647 --> 00:18:33,438 Trick question! 341 00:18:33,522 --> 00:18:35,438 You would never make a great wall out of china, 342 00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:39,397 because it would break easily and probably not fit in the dishwasher. 343 00:18:40,397 --> 00:18:42,647 So she knew those ones. 344 00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:47,272 I've heard enough! I'm ready to make my ruling. 345 00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:50,897 Wait! I have one more witness. 346 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,772 I call Mrs. Straupersson to the stand! 347 00:18:53,855 --> 00:18:55,480 What? 348 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:58,272 [dramatic fanfare plays] 349 00:18:58,355 --> 00:19:01,105 [courtroom murmuring] 350 00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:04,772 That's right. 351 00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:06,522 Mrs. Straupersson is alive... 352 00:19:06,605 --> 00:19:12,397 which means that there was no murder, and my client is innocent. 353 00:19:13,397 --> 00:19:15,855 Well, I guess this becomes an attempted-murder trial now. 354 00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:18,272 Ooh... That's a thing? 355 00:19:20,022 --> 00:19:23,647 Ivy, I'm afraid I have no choice but to find you... 356 00:19:24,688 --> 00:19:25,772 guilty! 357 00:19:25,855 --> 00:19:28,272 This trial is over. You're free to gasp. 358 00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:31,855 [gasp]... [gasp]... [gasp]... [gasp] 359 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,188 [gasp]... [gasp] 360 00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,355 [all] Aaaaah! 361 00:19:37,772 --> 00:19:41,147 Ivy, as your punishment, you'll have to stay after school for a month 362 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:44,022 and take care of Finnegan's gaggle of pet crows. 363 00:19:44,105 --> 00:19:45,272 Take her away! 364 00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:48,063 No! Wait! I'm innocent! 365 00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:50,313 Well, I'm not innocent. 366 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,647 In fact, I have kind of a reputation for... 367 00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:56,063 The point is, I didn't do it! 368 00:19:58,772 --> 00:20:00,438 We have pet crows? 369 00:20:00,522 --> 00:20:01,938 Oh, yeah. 370 00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:03,706 And they're really vicious when they're hungry. 371 00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,480 And they're hungry all the time, 372 00:20:05,563 --> 00:20:08,647 because Mrs. Straupersson always scares them away. 373 00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:11,522 Man, do they hate her. 374 00:20:12,313 --> 00:20:16,022 Interestingly enough, a group of crows is not called a "gaggle," 375 00:20:16,105 --> 00:20:17,897 but rather a "murder" of crows. 376 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:21,147 A murder? 377 00:20:22,772 --> 00:20:25,272 I wonder why that is. 378 00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:29,022 Beats me. English is a funny language. 379 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:33,480 [ominous fanfare plays] 380 00:20:33,563 --> 00:20:35,230 [crow cawing] 381 00:20:37,063 --> 00:20:39,563 [snap, monitor flat-lining] 382 00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,938 [mellow theme music plays] 383 00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:49,355 [woman] ? All rise, The court is in session ? 384 00:20:49,438 --> 00:20:50,813 [man] ? He's the youngest man ? 385 00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:52,605 ? In his profession ? 386 00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:54,855 [woman] ? It's your turn to take a stand ? 387 00:20:54,938 --> 00:20:56,397 [man] ? The future's in ? 388 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,730 [both] ? The palm of his hand ? 389 00:20:58,813 --> 00:21:00,147 ? You've been ? 390 00:21:00,230 --> 00:21:02,147 ? Sentenced to fun ? 391 00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,563 ? He's Judge Young! ? 392 00:21:04,647 --> 00:21:05,772 [man] ? He'll never rest ? 393 00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,855 ? From being tough on crime ? 394 00:21:07,938 --> 00:21:09,039 [woman] ? Unless it's past ? 395 00:21:09,063 --> 00:21:11,022 ? His 9 p.m. bedtime ? 396 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,147 [man] ? Holding court ? 397 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,772 ? With grace and charm ? 398 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,272 [woman] ? Serving justice ? 399 00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:17,105 [both] ? With those lady-like arms ? 400 00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:18,230 ? He can't drive ? 401 00:21:18,313 --> 00:21:20,188 ? And has no need to shave ? 402 00:21:20,272 --> 00:21:21,472 ? But he'll lay down the law ? 403 00:21:21,522 --> 00:21:23,313 ? If you misbehave ? 404 00:21:23,397 --> 00:21:25,313 ? You've been ? 405 00:21:25,397 --> 00:21:26,605 ? Sentenced to fun ? 406 00:21:26,688 --> 00:21:29,605 ? He's Judge Young! ? 407 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,605 ? He's Judge Young! ? 408 00:21:31,688 --> 00:21:34,313 [Adam] Judge Young is recorded in front of a live studio audience. 409 00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:38,913 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29102

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