Original subtitles

Ooh. Cake! For me?

Why would you think a cake shaped like Echo would be for you?

Who else would it be for?

Echo.

- Today's her birthday. - Are you doing anything special?

Yes!

All this is for her.

And when Echo sees it, she'll be so touched,

it'll be the perfect time to finally tell her how I feel about her.

That she's the sweetest...

kindest, smartest, prettiest, most perfect girl in the world,

and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her.

Then you should do something special for her birthday.

Ooh! Is that cake for Derby?

Echo... Happy birthday!

[epic soundtrack plays]

Echo... Since the day we met,

I knew we were destined to be more than just friends.

You mean the world to me, and...

I hope I also hold a special place in your heart.

Arrrrrgh!

Hey... You gave it your best shot.

Who knows what's in a woman's head?

Mm!

Marzipan!

I'm sorry... Did you want the face?

? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

I don't get it. How could this happen?

I don't know.

I just started eating and couldn't stop.

Pass me her foot.

I know I've been moving slowly,

but I really thought I had a shot with Echo.

I guess she just doesn't see me that way.

Well... First impressions are everything.

The day you met Echo, she didn't see you

as the kind of guy you date.

She saw you as some dorky science freak.

In other words, she saw you.

So that's it?

She'll never think of me as more than a teacher or a friend?

Never's a long time.

And, yes.

I'm sorry, man.

You only get one chance to make a first impression.

Well, I guess I did all this for nothing.

[Tater] You did all this for me?

Come on, old lady! Eat the cat!

It's for science!

[horse whinnies]

Professor Fenway? What are you doing?

This old lady, she swallowed a fly!

I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die...

[woman muttering]

et. Diet...

after eating all those delicious animals...

like this cat!

Come on, old lady, you act like you've never eaten a cat before.

Professor? It's me, Adam.

Adam!

What brings you back to the university?

I was wondering if you needed an extra lab assistant.

Any big experiments coming up?

Well, tomorrow, I'll be dissecting the cadaver of an old lady.

[muffled scream]

No one you know.

I think I made a mistake, becoming a science teacher.

I wanted the high school experience, but...

I just keep striking out with this girl I like.

Thatis the "high school experience."

Just ask all of these guys.

[crew] Mm-hmm. That's right.

I wish you'd told me you were dropping in. I would've baked a pie.

That's okay. I...

Here, Adam. Have some pie.

I thought you said you didn't bake a pie.

I did "didn't"... But then I will have did.

Huh?

Obviously, after you leave, I traveled back in time, baked a pie,

and left it in that drawer in anticipation of your visit.

You built a time machine?

Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh. Not in front of the...

- Old lady? - No, the cow.

The old lady's not gonna tell anyone. She'll be dead!

[muffled scream]

How do you do it?

The secret... is using cold, pea-sized morsels of shortening,

and layering them between the dough.

Not "how do you make such a flaky pie crust?"

How do you travel through time? You have to show me the time machine!

Okay. Come with me.

This is the time machine?

What? No. This is where I keep my car keys.

[car alarm chirps]

Heh-heh.

Whoa! This is the time machine?

No. This is my car.

I keep the time machine in the glove compartment.

This... is the time machine.

[chuckles]

[Derby] You only get one chance to make a first impression.

You only get one chance to make a first impression.

You only get one chance to make a first...

- Hello? - Hey, Adam.

I'm just calling to tell you that I changed your ringtone to remind you

that you only get one chance to make a first impression.

Professor Fenway, you have to let me borrow your time machine.

This might be my only opportunity

to change my destiny and experience true love.

Sorry. This device can alter the course of human events.

You can't just use it to satisfy every frivolous whim.

You just used it to bake a pie!

What pie?

So, as we progress through the animal kingdom...

[muffled cry]

[fly buzzing]

Huh... There's my fly!

[sigh] Looks like I owe someone an apology.

Sorry, horse. It appears I've wasted your time.

[muffled screams]

[man] Toga! Toga!

Toga!

Can I help you?

I'm just a typical college student, here to learn college things.

Oh, no. Someone has stolen my college stuff.

[British accent] Wot's this?

Has there been a spot of pilferin' afoot?

I'll 'ave to step into me call-box

and file a report with Scotland Yard, I will.

[Texan accent] Where in tarnation is my auto-mo-bile?

I am a wealthy Texas oil man

who has no time for dillyin' and/or dallyin'.

Don't worry, mister!

I parked it right up front, where I could keep an eye on it.

Well, thank you, young man.

Here's a bag of oil for your trouble.

Now to use my fancy sports car to pick up a cute bikini-clad girl.

[Bronx accent] Or... a mechanic!

So he can also get in the cah

and check out that strange noise coming from the glove compahtment.

Nope. Bikini.

[door shuts]

Sure. I'll check out that strange noise comin' from the glove compartment.

[engine starts]

[fly buzzes]

[tires screech]

[fly buzzing]

[tires screech]

[fly buzzing, Fenway gulps]

[gagging, buzzing resumes]

[tires screech]

[screech]

[screech]

I think we're in the clear. You can stop inching forward.

I'm not inching forward. I just don't know how to drive.

[tires screech]

Okay. I just need to travel back in time to my first day at Finnegan

and meet Echo before the me of that time period does.

That way, I can make a better first impression.

[beeping, whoosh!]

Whoa. A device that makes teachers disappear!

Awesome!

- Whoa. - Aaaaah!

What's wrong with you, kid? You don't do that to a person.

Have we met before now?

No. And you did not make a very good first impression!

That's the last time I wear "musk" deodorant.

Ow! Zipper in the eye! Zipper in the eye.

Derby?

Adam Young? Long time no see, man.

Sorry. Slab put me in here.

Slab? Who's Slab?

Imagine if Godzilla and Bigfoot had a baby.

I didn't even know they were dating.

Hey, Hutch.

- What's for lunch, nerds? - Hey, Slab! You oversized half-wit!

Derby!

While I acknowledge my size and my intellectual shortcomings,

I can't help but feel a little blind with rage right now.

- I didn't say it. I think it was him. - I didn't say it.

Well, it sounded like your voice.

I would never call a student an "oversized half-wit."

I'm a teacher.

[snickers and laughs]

A kid teacher?

What do you think I am, an oversized half-wit?

Wow. You're quick.

And you clean up ni-i-i-ice.

Hello, class. My name is Mr. Young. Welcome to grade nine science.

Yes, I'm a kid. 14. A genius. No, we're not making a monster.

Okay. That's enough work for today. Class dismissed.

Wow! Having a kid teacher is cool!

Give me your juice box, nerd-board!

This isn't over.

I know where you live.

I know I'm late, but I was on the bus

when a flock of bats swooped down and...

Oh, great. The teacher's not even here yet.

Hi, there.

I'm Adam.

I'm Echo.

That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

[giggles]

Thank goodness, you didn't make that lame, corny joke

everyone else does when they meet me...

"Echo-echo-echo...

Is there an echo in here or is it just... you?"

I would never do something like that... again.

[Tater] Mr. Young. Shouldn't you be in class already?

- Not a very good first impression. - Uh-oh. Um...

[snaps fingers] You know what?

I remember seeing an aluminum can mixed in with the regular garbage.

I've got to go take care of it. I'm really into recycling.

Me too!

[other Adam] Here's my class.

Excuse me for a second.

Wow. That really was a second.

And you obviously dove into that can. That is commitment!

I... didn't catch your name.

It's Echo.

Echo-echo-echo...?

Is there an echo in here, or is it just... you?

[laughing]

[laughter continues]

[whoosh]

Okay.

I think I did it.

Here she comes.

Happy birthday, Echo!

[epic soundtrack plays]

[smack!]

The next lunch up for bid once belonged to Derby.

It contains a bologna sandwich, a fruitball

and a box of fruitball juice.

Plus, a note from his mommy telling him to finish all his lunch.

Sorry, Mommy.

This lunch is valued at $3.50.

We'll start the bidding at $20.

$20.

We have $20! Do I hear 50?

I said, do I hear 50?!

[apprehensive murmuring]

50!

Sold! To the hungry-looking kid in the back row.

Derby, we need to talk. Why is Echo mad at me?

You know why.

Tell me anyway.

I want to hear it in your beautiful, flowery words.

Thanks for noticing.

Echo's been mad at you since the night you guys broke up.

Broke up? You mean we dated? And I missed it?

What are you talking about? You didn't miss it.

The day you guys met, it was love at first sight.

So, I made a good first impression?

Yeah. Which is weird, because you're terrible at impressions.

They all sound like a bad Morgan Freeman.

Especially your Morgan Freeman.

[as Morgan Freeman] And though the penguins continue to march,

climate change could bring them

to the brink of extinction by the year 2100.

Sold! To Morgan Freeman for $2,100!

So, if Echo and I got together, why did we break up?

I don't get it.

What kind of person doesn't remember stuff

that they experienced themselves?

What did I teach in science class yesterday?

Well played, sir.

It was the night of the talent show.

I was awesome as the daring daredevil Demolition Derby, but Echo...

has a terrible singing voice.

So I went on stage during her song to drown her out

and save her from embarrassment,

but she thought I did it to steal her limelight.

Who's telling this story?

But in this timeline, we were dating, so she must have felt betrayed and...

Kicked your sorry behind to the curb...

and kept on kicking.

Echo hates me now?

Yeah. It's too bad, because you guys were a really great couple,

always kissing and stuff.

Kissing? And stuff?

I've heard good things about "stuff."

I've gotta go fix this!

[beeping]

Not so fast, Mr. Freeman.

Pay up!

Or you won't get through the rest of your bucket list!

[beeping rapidly]

[whoosh!]

Our next performer is the one and only... Ivy Young!

[cheering]

Ivy! You can't just stand there, texting.

You have to have an actual talent!

This is my talent.

I'm the world's first texting comic.

[beep, text alerts chiming]

[laughter]

[giggling]

[whoosh!]

[giggling]

"from space."

Aaaaaahh!

Not cool, man!

[laughter]

Excuse me!

- Pardon me. Excuse me. - Hey!

You're leaving in the middle of the show?

Do I come to where you work and disrespect you?

Every day.

Well played, sir.

[text alerts chiming]

Derby! I need your help with Echo.

Tired of all that kissing and want me to fill in?

Not just kissing... "all that kissing."

I need you to go on stage when Echo is singing and drown her out.

That way, she won't be ridiculed, and she also won't blame me.

No can do.

People are expecting to be wowed by Demolition Derby tonight.

I'll wow them.

You? You've never wowed anyone.

Mostly, you... [yawn] ...them.

Just give me the outfit!

I just need to make sure the other Adam doesn't also go on stage with Echo.

I need to outsmart him.

This thing keeps hitting me in the eye!

But how?

We're two equally matched intellectual giants.

I'm just going to keep it in my pocket.

[thwack!] Oooh!

That should do it.

Do you need the underpants too?

Up next, daredevil extraordinaire Demolition Derby!

For generations, daredevils have thrilled audiences

by walking across a high-wire.

Today, I, Demolition Derby, will go them one better...

and walk across this...

low-wire.

[anticipatory murmuring]

[drum roll plays]

[gasps]

That's impressive,

but show some respect for a circus tradition!

Maybe I should keep this in my back pocket.

No.

- Now get up to that high-wire! - [drum roll plays]

[Adam] Whoaaaaa!

Watch out for those power lines!

[zap, Adam screams]

Whoaaaaaa!

[thud, cymbal crashes]

What's happening?

Uh... you fell in a puddle.

I'm your reflection.

Ripple, ripple...

The power's out, but I don't need a microphone to sound great.

I can do an intimate, unplugged performance.

That's a great idea.

Everyone, please welcome our headliner,

the always effervescent Echo.

[off-key] ? Wish I were cut ?

? From a different cloth ?

? Want to be a butterfly... ?

- [blues piano plays] - ? But I'm a... ?

? I live in a closet in the hall ?

? So sad it makes this moth bawl ?

? Butterflies have it so much better ?

[pounding chords]

? Gonna drown my sorrows in a cashmere sweater ?

? I wish I were a butterfly ?

? Fly, fly, fly ?

? Fly, fly, fly ?

? Drawn to the flame ?

? I die, die, die ?

? I wish I were... ?

? A butterfly! ?

It burns!

[crowd cheering]

It worked! She's mad at Derby!

I mean... ripple, ripple.

Ripple.

I can't believe you'd try to steal my limelight!

Just because your daredevil stunt was so lame!

Lame?

I mean...

how dare you do that to my girlfriend?

Drowning out her beautiful voice?

Aww!

You're the best.

[other Adam] Echo?

Adam?

Uh...

Yes. That was me.

I can throw my voice.

And for my next amazing feat, I will exit this way

and then immediately enter from that direction.

[whoosh!]

Okay, here goes...

Again.

Happy birthday, Echo!

[epic soundtrack plays]

[smack!]

Mr. Tater? What was that for?

For showing your face around here. You know you were fired.

Wh...?

Ooh! Cake!

[chalk writing on chalkboard]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0