Original subtitles

Come on, everyone.

Let's take a look at the wonders of science.

[gasp] Now you tell us this science field trip is about science?

We trusted you.

Actually, this stuff couldn't be further from science.

These are all a bunch of charlatans and snake oil salesmen.

They sell snake oil here?

Oh, good. I'm almost out.

This stuff does wonders for my wrinkles.

Slab, you don't have wrinkles.

And now you know my secret.

Oh, look! This booth has a unicorn!

Derby, there's no such thing as unicorns. Don't be so gullible.

[dramatic fanfare plays]

Who's gullible now?

"Malcolm Hastings: Monster Hunter"?

Mr. Young?

I didn't know you were interested in science.

Mr. Tater, why are you dressed like that?

No reason.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round...

if you dare.

O-m-g! O-m-g! O-m-g! O-m-g! O-m-g! O-m-g!

Ahem.

Today... I present to you

the most terrifying creature I have ever encountered...

the ferocious, giant man-eating chicken.

I've seen this scam perpetrated before by a very shady character...

My mother.

Behold!

[majestic fanfare plays]

Ahem!

Tim! Your lunch break is over.

I hired you to do one thing... Open the curtain when I say "behold!"

Behold!

[fanfare plays]

[crowd gasps]

I am the only man alive

who has ever fought a giant man-eating chicken and won.

[chicken squawks]

[Slab] We'll see about that!

Give me that chicken, Tim!

? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

I recognize that chicken.

Of course, you do. It's Tim's chicken.

Give it up, Tim!

I'm talking about that chicken.

That's Sasquawk.

You're right!

She saved my life

when we were in Sanduras.

I really did

most of the heavy lifting on that, but...

this is still wrong.

Listen, buddy, I told you...

One autograph per fan.

But this one's for my niece.

Her name's...

Mr. Tater.

Get lost.

Excuse me, Malcolm.

[Malcolm] Ahem.

That'll be $12.

I don't want an autograph.

Okay.

No!

I want you to let Sasquawk free.

I can't unleash this ferocious beast on society.

She's not ferocious.

Sure she is. Watch.

[electricity zapping, Sasquawk squawking]

She squawked because you jolted her with that cattle prod!

What? This isn't a cattle prod. It's my back-scratcher.

[zapping] Ohh!

That's the spot!

[Tater, lisping] Pardon me, sir?

Could I please have your autograph?

My name's... Mr. Tater.

I told you. One autograph per fan.

You're not fooling anyone.

There you are, Mr. Tater!

Who's my favorite little niece?

[bell rings]

- Hi, Ivy. - Hi, Derby.

[both] Whoa! What just happened?

- I said "hi." - And I said "hi" back.

Not even one soul-crushing insult!

I must be thrown off because you're dressed so nicely.

Cool unicorn, by the way. [gasp]

I did it again.

Wait. Don't move. I need to insult you.

Shouldn't be tough. I am Derby.

Yeah. You are. And you're a totally lovely person.

[gasps]

Why can't I be mean?

You have to help me!

I'm going to assume helping you involves you, so I'm in.

Thanks, Derby. You're a real gentleman.

[shrieking]

[Sasquawk squawks]

All right, Slab. You distract Malcolm. I'll free Sasquawk.

[Slab] I'm on it.

[Sasquawk squawks]

[deep voice] Good day, sir.

I am but a typical businessman,

here for the privilege of taking my photo with this mythical beast.

Wait a second. You're not a typical businessman.

You're the Abominable Snowman! I've been hunting you for years!

Who? Me?

No.

I am merely in town on business.

Okay. If you're not the Abominable Snowman,

what's your name?

My name is Yeti.

Ha! Yeti! That's the Abominable Snowman's name.

Did I say "Yeti"? I meant "Eddie."

Sometimes, I add Y's to the beginnings of my words,

possibly the result of a poor yeducation.

Anyway, here.

Let me pay for the photo with this... Tibetan currency.

Have you been in the Himalayas recently?

What? No!

That's yinsane!

Well, I don't take Tibetan currency.

Then let me get my checkbook out of my briefcase.

It is where I keep my important businessman documents.

Aha!

You are the Abominable Snowman!

I can tell, because this briefcase

filled with important businessman documents

is monogrammed with the initials "A.S."

Would you look at the time?

I'm late for a business meeting.

Got to go.

I'm on to you, Yeti! You won't get away.

Although my standing here talking is certainly giving you a head start!

[Sasquawk clucking]

I'm here, girl.

[squawk!]

I have no idea why they sell these in the gift shop.

[news theme plays]

Monsters on the loose!

We're here live

at the "Wonders of Science" show,

where, earlier today,

a giant man eating chicken

was too busy eating chicken

to prevent a giant,

man-eating chicken

from escaping.

People should be on the lookout

for this giant chicken monster,

shown here in this photo...

As well as

the Abominable Snowman,

who was also seen running

from the convention center.

Both monsters should be

considered extremely dangerous.

Luckily, famed monster hunter

Malcolm Hastings has vowed

to recapture

the ferocious beasts.

Along with

his trusty sidekick,

Mr. Tater.

Let's get reactions

from some of the witnesses,

like this real unicorn.

[barks]

Makes you think.

You're going to need to lay low for a while.

The whole city's after you.

[bawk bawk bawk-aaaa!]

Yes.

You'll have to fly under the radar.

Very funny.

I guess you can hide out here until people stop chasing you.

[Sasquawk cooing]

[Slab] Thanks. I really appreciate it.

[cooing continues]

All right, if anyone asks,

you're our school mascot, the Finnegan Fryer.

[squawks]

Huh...

Congratulations, Mr. Young. You finally got yourself a chick.

[squawks]

Although, I thought you were in love with Echo.

[squawks]

Wait a second.

Is that Sasquawk?

What? No.

That is the Finnegan Fryer.

If that's the Finnegan Fryer, then who am I?

You're... obviously Sasquawk.

[gasps] You're right!

Oh, no! The authorities are after me.

You've got to hide me, Echo!

[Sasquawk squawking]

Wow. What's wrong with Sasquawk?

Don't you watch the news? The authorities are after me.

Be careful, Adam!

Yaaaaah!

Sasquawk! What are you doing?

Watching the Finnegan Fryer eat Mr. Young.

[Sasquawk roars]

Whoa!

Hey there, beautiful.

Is your name Ivy? Because I think you could grow on me.

Aw, that's sweet. And, yes, my name is Ivy.

I don't get it.

Why aren't you bringing out the mean in me?

Is it because you're delightful to be around?

This has got to stop!

Don't worry. I just need to up the Derby factor.

Hey, Ivy. I'd like to introduce you to my friends.

This is Derby, Derby, Derby, and Frank.

Frank's actually his middle name. He just wants attention.

It's a pleasure to meet you all.

Thanks. How about a hug?

I meant me. She's mine.

Oh, you think she's yours, huh? Well, I met her first, so back off!

Ow!

Stay out of this!

Ow.

Ugh! Ow!

I hate you guys. You're a bunch of jerks!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, there's no need to fight.

I think you're all cute.

Especially the guy in charge.

[kiss] Call me, Frank.

Oh, man. You got kissed by Ivy. How was it?

Come on, tell me. Don't you walk away from me!

[squawking]

[squawk!]

- What are you doing, Sasquawk? - [squawk]

I know you'd never hurt me, but snatching me away

isn't exactly going to convince anyone you're harmless.

Plus, the tops of skyscrapers

are the first place people look for giant creatures.

[squawk]

[squawk!]

This is it! We're launching a full-on assault.

Fighter plane one, go! Fighter plane two, go.

Fighter plane three... I didn't order a third fighter plane.

I am not paying for that.

[imitates static]

You heard the man. 10-4. Over and out. Roger Rabbit.

What are you doing here?

That's not even a walkie-talkie. That's a brick you painted black.

No, it's not.

You have to call off the planes! Sasquawk isn't alone up there.

She's with Adam. He'll get hurt.

I'm sorry, little girl.

I can't worry about the life of one kid, when so many other lives are in danger.

Sasquawk isn't threatening anyone!

I paid for two planes, and I'm gonna use them.

Echo... you have nothing to worry about.

Now, if you'll excuse us,

we have a giant chicken and a young boy to take out.

[planes zooming]

Okay, Ivy, I know we can figure this out.

Would you focus?

Ever since you and Frank started dating, you've been impossible to talk to.

Can't you see I'm busy here, loser?

I just wish one time we could go out without your friends.

Ivy, you did it! You were mean to me.

You're right! Thank you, Derby. You're the greatest.

I'm hugging you right now, aren't I?

Uh-huh.

The old me would have never done this, would she?

Uh-uh.

Ugggh!

You know what, Ivy? Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's me.

Maybe people just want to be nice to me now.

Hey. Give me your lunches, nerd-Derbys!

Not you, Frank. We're good.

Sasquawk, I don't know what's going on with you,

but you need to take me home.

Adam!

Sasquawk! You said my name.

I'm talking.

I know!

It's impressive.

Your English has gotten really good. I don't even detect a poultry accent.

Echo, check this out. Sasquawk can talk.

Why are you dressed like that?

It's "take your daughter to work" day in this office.

I had to dress up as a young girl to sneak in.

Why didn't you just go as yourself?

My mom doesn't work here.

Come on, let's go.

[sighs] Forget it.

I'm not leaving without Sasquawk.

Adam, look over there.

Those are real planes. It's not stock footage.

It looks like stock footage.

It's not stock footage!

But the clouds are completely different.

It's not stock footage!

See? I told you.

[Sasquawk clucks]

Sasquawk, what's wrong?

[Sasquawk clucking]

What's she trying to say?

Just spit it out!

Whoa! [Echo shrieking]

On second thought...

don't spit it out.

[shrieking]

Hey, Derby. I got you some milk and cookies.

Please tell me this is a cruel joke,

and this milk is curdled and these cookies have raisins in them?

Ah! They're delicious.

I'm just going to have to face it. I'm a nice person now.

Sorry. I really tried my best.

I know. In fact, as a sign of my appreciation,

how about I take you out for a nice quiet dinner?

Just the two of us.

That sounds like a date.

Well, no thank you!

What? You're turning me down?

Yeah. I don't want to go out

with the kind of girl that would want to go out with me.

You're rejecting me?

I guess you're even dumber than you are pathetic.

And you're really pathetic!

If you look up "pathetic" in the dictionary,

you would not find your picture.

Because they tend to illustrate nouns.

But my unnecessary side trip to mention the dictionary

does not change the fact that you're pathetic!

I knew I could get the old Ivy back.

Now, if only I could get a girl like that to go out with me.

- [Echo shrieking] - [Adam] Echo?! Echo?!

Is that stock footage?

Yes. That's stock footage. Now will you do something?

Sasquawk... why are you doing this?

[Slab] It's obvious.

How do you speak so clearly with Echo in your beak?

Slab? What are you doing here?

I was in this office for a business meeting.

Anyway... Sasquawk's clearly in love with you because you rescued her,

and now she's jealous of your relationship with Echo.

[Echo shrieking]

Sasquawk, is that true?

[Sasquawk clucks]

There's nothing going on between me and Echo.

Trust me.

I've spent a lot of time with her these past couple of years,

and there's just nothing there.

I have no feelings for Echo.

I never have and I never will.

Please, Sasquawk, put her down.

She bought it.

Seriously?

Who would believe you don't have feelings for Echo?

Huh.

I guess I misread the signals.

Okay. We still have to get Sasquawk out of here before...

[machine-gun fire, Sasquawk squawking]

No! Sasquawk!

Hah! I got 'er!

[imitates static]

Looks like it's over, boys. Come on home.

10-4. Over and out. Mister Rogers.

Would you put that brick down? You had nothing to do with this.

Now get away from me.

- But... - Fine.

If you won't get away from me, I'll get away from you.

I'll just go stand over there, in that chicken-shaped shadow.

[incoming projectile whistling]

[thud!]

[imitates static]

This is mission control.

We're going to need stock footage of an ambulance.

[siren wailing]

Thank you. Over and out. Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Oh, no! Sasquawk!

[clucking]

Sasquawk! You're alive!

[squawk!]

- She faked her own death? - [Sasquawk squawks]

Sasquawk, you're a genius. Now no one will be looking for you.

We should celebrate, with a stock footage parade.

[marching band plays]

[squawk]

Sasquawk can't stay with me. We need to find her one of her own kind.

Another giant chicken monster?

I'm on it.

What happened?

Where am I?

Don't worry.

Everything's fine.

[Slab gives wolf whistle]

Brok brok.

[bawk!]

[Sasquawk squawking]

Huh?

Uh...

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0