Original subtitles

[rattling]

[groans groggily]

Where am I?

Where me am, too?

It's all bright and sunny and pleasant out...

Make it stop!

I feel great!

Except for this throbbing headache, gut-wrenching pain in my stomach,

and, of course, the persistent feeling of emptiness

that follows me around every day,

hampering my ability to connect with people

on all but the most superficial of levels.

Also, my foot's asleep!

Whoa...

What happened last night?

Pfft. What didn't happen last night?

I don't know what did or didn't happen last night.

It was Halloween.

We were going to go trick-or-treating.

We must have gone.

I have that awful feeling I get after eating too much candy.

Hey, anybody have any candy?

I guess we crashed from all the sugar.

Tailored-version of Frankenstein and orange-version of Dracula are right.

- I'm orange? - I'm right?

Yeah, something's off.

Tell me about it.

Looks like you got kissed.

Can't imagine who might've kissed me.

Me neither.

And I have a pretty good imagination.

I named my fish "Derby."

Is that a wild name, or what?

Well, I obviously got more than just kissed last night,

because now I have a baby.

Uh... Slab?

Have you noticed anything about your baby?

[meow]

Yeah. He just said his first word!

- "Meow." - [meow]

? Goodbye, summer, Hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

Look. My baby learned how to sit up.

[bird chirps]

[cat growls, bird squeals]

And how to kill birds!

Watching my baby tear into his breakfast with his sharp little baby claws

is making me hungry.

Give me your lunch money, or I'll make your tie somewhat askew!

My wallet's missing!

That'll show you.

And now plan B. I'll get my own lunch.

Meow.

[birds screeching]

[screeching stops]

Don't worry, Derby. We'll get your wallet back.

We just need to retrace our steps.

Yesterday was a school day, so we know we were all here.

Right. We're always here on school days.

I think we planned to change into our costumes after school,

then go trick-or-treating.

Everything else is fuzzy.

Hey.

Was that a crack about my baby?

Does anyone remember anything about last night?

I remember Ivy's hands all over me.

Well, that was obviously a dream.

I don't think so.

In my dreams, she doesn't even let me make eye contact.

Come on. Let's go find her.

Adam, there's something weird about your face.

Oh, this lipstick?

No.

Anyway, Derby says we saw you last night.

I remember you touching me... Without a 10-foot pole this time.

- Like, yeah, right. - That'll never happen.

[cat meows]

It's true.

- What? - [cat meows]

It was after school...

This is going to be the best trick-or-treating year ever.

I don't know. Every year is pretty good.

I ring the doorbell, they open the door, they say,

"Take whatever you want, just don't hurt my family!"

I get all the candy I need and go home.

It also works without a costume.

And any day of the year.

Those are the worst costumes I've ever seen.

Lucky for you, I'm offering costume makeovers.

Check out my happy customer.

"Trendy Troll."

[dance music plays]

Just because you live under a bridge doesn't mean you have to look like you do.

"Well-dressed Witch."

You'll be needing that broomstick to swat away the men.

[chuckles]

And "Jazzy Jedi."

The fashion is strong with this one.

Mama like.

Does mama like a knight in shining armor?

Mama indifferent.

- Who's first? - Me.

My wallet must be in the pants from my old costume.

Ivy, what did you do with all the old clothes?

I threw them in that garbage bin.

That's a clothing-drive bin.

What? I donated to charity?

Here they are.

But there's no wallet.

Did you give me a makeover, too?

No. I make people look better.

Not just as bad as they normally do only orange.

[dance music plays]

"Fabulous Frankenstein!"

Now he'll have no trouble finding a bride.

Who's next?

Echo?

I can make you a "Cute Count,"

a "Darling Dracula," a vvv...

less-ugly vampire.

Yeah, I'm good.

All I need to finish my costume is some blood.

I went to the cafeteria to get a bottle of ketchup!

If you needed blood, why didn't you ask me?

I know a guy.

You know a blood guy?

No. A ketchup guy.

My blood guy is tapped out.

[Derby] Cool! I think these underpants might fit me!

Okay, we came in here last night, looking for ketchup,

and ran into Principal Tater.

Maybe he can tell us what happened to your wallet.

We just have to find him.

[Tater] Try searching the web.

Good idea, Principal Tater.

Here he is.

Mr. Tater? New ergonomic chair?

Actually, we're having a little spider problem.

The problem is, the spider's not so little.

I can't find my wallet. Were we here last night?

You don't remember?

You were here for the haunted house I hosted.

The Halloween Cafeterror... ia.

I'm working on the name for next year.

Though I doubt I'll come up with anything better than that, it's perfect.

Okay, let me just grab some ketchup.

Why's it so dark in here?

[Tater, ominously] Because, you have entered...

the Cafeterror... ia.

Aaaaaah...

ewwwwww!

What are youwearing?

I ordered it online.

The description said "hot devil costume."

As it turns out, it's actually quite chilly.

Can you turn on the lights so I can find some ketchup?

[dramatically] No...

for if you see what's in these bowls, you'll be shocked and terrified!

Fine. I'll look for it in the dark.

[Tater] Stick your hand in

and feel these disgusting, slimy human eyeballs.

These don't feel like human eyeballs.

Well, they're not grapes. Are you saying they feel like grapes?

How am I supposed to know what grapes feel like?

Eyeballs are more round.

These... what did you call them, "grapes?"

are more oblong? Is that the word?

I don't know words, I only know...

[snarls] terror!

You will freak when you plunge your hands into this bowl of...

severed fingers!

I don't feel the distal phalanx.

Or any interphalangeal joints.

This feels...

breaded.

These are chicken fingers!

I never said they were human.

Chickens don't even have fingers!

Not anymore.

I got my fake blood!

[like Dracula] How do I look?

Like you have mustard on your face.

I accidentally used Dijon mustard instead of ketchup!

That must be what caused this weird tan.

But why is it so even?

Did I get it all?

[all] Yes!

So that explains "Miami Beach" over here.

But have you seen my wallet or not?

It could've fallen out of your pocket when you were hunched over.

Why was I hunched over?

I don't get it.

You were supposed to be scared by the stuff in these bowls.

- Why would we be scared? - You could tell it was cafeteria food?

We've been touching cafeteria food?

[guys] Aaaaaaaah!

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[barfs]

That's it. I needed a new helmet.

Mrs. Byrne has helmets in her classroom. Maybe that's where we went next.

Wait! What about me?

Oh, good. You're all coming back.

I hear eight footsteps.

[spider snarling]

[falsetto shrieking]

Mrs. Byrne, have you seen a wallet?

Of course, I've seen a wallet! Everyone's seen a wallet.

- My baby's never seen a wallet. - [cat cries]

He meant, have you found a wallet?

We think he left it here yesterday.

[Byrne] Yesterday?

Oh, yes! I remember it like it was yesterday.

Okay. Let me just find a helmet...

that doesn't have puke in it.

Oh. Here's one.

[pukes]

Who's there?

It's just us, Mrs. Byrne.

I wasn't talkin' to you! I'm holding a s�ance.

Now I'm talking to you. Sit down.

This better not take long.

Hold hands and help me contact my long-lost love.

He fought in the war.

The war of 1812?

No! The war of 1412.

My love was one of the knights of the oblong table.

Yes! I knew that was the word.

Don't you mean "round table"?

They added a leaf when company came over.

Return to me, my lost love!

I long to hear from you.

There's no such thing as...

[electricity crackling]

As I was saying, there's no such thing as...

[rumbling]

Could you let me finish my sentence?

Sir Richard! My long-lost love!

You've returned to me!

It's been so long.

Kiss me!

And that's when Echo kissed me!

We just established that it was Mrs. Byrne who kissed you.

Put a sock in it.

Great. Another dead-end on the hunt for my missing wallet.

If only we knew where we went from here.

You don't remember?

[sighs] Slab's 5:00 shadow had just come in...

You were upset that the beard was detracting from your costume.

Derby said maybe you could find someone in the school

you could borrow a razor from.

Echo suggested Adam,

and then you all laughed very hard for 86 seconds.

Except for Adam, who laughed for 84 seconds,

before he realized he was Adam.

Finally, you decided to go to the one person

who lives here at Finnegan... Dang.

You figured he'd have a razor.

Mrs. Byrne, it's amazing you remembered all that.

Remembered what?

Who are you?

Why are you dressed like that?

Hippies!

Come on. Dang will know what happened to us.

Whoa!

What happened to you?

You didn't hear? I had a baby.

Dang, did we come here last night to borrow a razor?

Yes.

Can you tell us what happened next?

Yes.

Will you tell us what happened next?

Yes.

Tell us what happened next!

Didn't you hear? Slab had a baby!

I mean last night.

Oh...

Happy Halloween!

Would you believe you are my first trick-or-treaters?

You live in a school. In the basement.

In a closet!

Since no other kids seem to be coming by, I'll just give you all my candy.

[gasping]

My teeth and stomach say "no,"

but my brain says, "Shut up, teeth and stomach!"

That's where we got all those sweets.

It was like taking candy from a baby.

[straining] You make that sound like it's easy...

Give... me...

that... licorice!

[cat screeches]

That was like taking candy from a baby.

Not easy.

Dang, do you have a razor I can borrow?

Sure. Here.

Hold my apple.

There you go.

[sigh] Thanks.

[door shuts]

- [knocking at door] - Back so soon?

[gasps]

Hello, little boy!

I love your cat costume.

But I'm sorry, I just gave away all my candy.

I have to go lock something in my locker now.

And I have to go make sure his locker is really locked.

And I...

don't have a locker.

[cat squeaking]

Leaf monkey!

Clever disguise, pretending to be a tiny boy dressed as a cat.

[cat screeches]

Sorry, leaf monkey.

The trick is on you.

This... is a fake fancy hat!

[vicious screeching, Dang screaming]

My face! My face is my livelihood!

It is?

[Dang] You try getting a job with no face.

Ah. That's better.

Now I look like a Musketeer.

Gimme back my hat, nerd-monkey!

What? That always works!

We need to be gentle.

Hey, little guy!

- That hat doesn't belong to you... - [cat screeches]

Ow! [gasps, sighs]

Give him back his hat, nerd-monkey!

I know!

Maybe he'll trade us the hat for some of this candy.

Here, monkey-monkey...

have some candy...

It's not working.

Maybe we should show him how yummy this candy is.

Look, leaf monkey.

Mm. Good candy.

Mm. So good.

Ooh! This one is candy-flavored.

What are you lookin' at, cat?

Here, monk... [hiccup!] ..ey.

I feel oogy.

My epithelium isn't...

No. It's gone.

[clang]

You know what?

Forget the hat...

I don't want to go trick-or-treating anymore, anyway.

[thud]

Quitters!

You guys are quitters.

While you think about what quitters you are, I'm just gonna...

quit talking and lie down on this nice, cool grass.

[thud]

Wait. I still don't understand

how the leaf monkey disguised as a cat became my baby.

I should have paid more attention in health class.

If he stole a hat, what else did he steal?

My wallet? I'd better frisk him to find out.

What are you doing to Slab's baby?

Trying to find my wallet.

This wallet?

Yes. Have you seen it?

Where'd you find that?

It was in Jazzy Jedi's suit pocket.

I think he's leaning toward the dark side.

Yes.

Is all your money still there?

Oh, I don't have any money.

[all] What?

I spent it all on this wallet.

It's nice to be eating healthy after all that candy.

I already feel 20% less oogy.

Yeah, I'm finally starting to feel better.

Physically. My emotional state is still fragile at best.

This veggie burger would be even better with some mustard.

Hey, Echo, can I borrow your face?

Still funny.

Fine, I'll get some from the cafeteria.

The cafeteria!

We forgot about Tater.

You're right. We should check how he's doing on the web.

Oh, good. He's fine.

He's better than fine. I think he even grew some hair.

[Slab] Did Mr. Tater always have eight legs?

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