Original subtitles

Hey, Echo. Want to go to a movie later?

Um, what are you seeing?

A documentary at the university's geology department

with real-time footage of glacial movement.

Oh, and the best part is, they just painted the theatre,

so during the intermission we can watch the paint dry.

Sounds exciting... but I'm gonna have to pass.

I have a Photography Club meeting today.

[sighs]

Wow, you think glaciers move slowly?

They should make a documentary on your progress with Echo.

Of course, I'm just saying that to make you feel bad.

No one wants to see a movie about you.

Why do I keep striking out with her?

The two of you have nothing in common. You're like apples and oranges.

Actually, apples and oranges share many common traits.

In fact, astrochemist Scott A. Sandford

found the two fruits to be remarkably similar,

when he compared spectrographic readings

of a dried, powdered granny smith apple

with those of a navel orange.

You're right...

I don't know why she doesn't like you.

? Goodbye, summer, hello, fall ?

? We've been trying to get here ?

? Since we both Were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word ?

? Where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

[low ominous growl]

What was that growl?

We must be in bear country!

Quick, everyone, play dead!

False alarm.

It was just my stomach growling.

Ooh! I need a snack.

Mr. Tater, why is the snack machine way up there?

It's never a good idea

to leave food on the ground.

After all... this is bear country.

[sniffing]

[sniffs] What is that delicious smell?

My special bun xao noodles.

The secret recipe was passed on to me by my Master, Master Ki.

Do you want to try some?

Dang!

- You called? - Aaah!

These are the best noodles I've ever tasted.

Here!

Take more to go.

Just make sure you clean up your mess when you are done.

So I don't attract bears?

No, so I don't have to clean up after you.

This camera mommy got me for my 40th birthday is incredible!

I'm getting some breathtaking shots.

A windmill!

Niagara Falls...

The Lone Ranger.

I didn't know we had all that in the quad.

It's amazing the extra detail you can see

when you use sophisticated, high-tech equipment like this.

[camera beeping]

- Adam? - Echo?

Echo Zizzleswift?

You're in the Photography Club, just like me?

I had no idea we had so much in common.

Your camera is still in the packaging.

I know.

We true shutterbugs

like to keep our cameras in mint condition.

Plus, these packages are very hard to open.

I loosened it for you.

I knew the Great Wall of China was big...

but I did not know it made it all the way to Finnegan!

Well, I guess if you want to join us, we're taking pictures of nature's beauty.

- Way ahead of you. - [rapid shutter clicking]

You put it on high-speed burst! I can't see!

[gasp]

Adam! You made me break my camera!

Well, that's a shame,

because Neil Armstrong is planting the flag on the moon in our quad!

What is that incredible smell?

Can I try some of that?

Okay, but just one bite.

[long, loud slurping]

Mmm!

Hey! I said one bite.

I know.

That's why I was disappointed to find only half a bite in the bowl.

Good thing I have a spare.

What is that incredible smell?

Can I try some?

Okay, but just one bite.

[loud slurping]

Mmm!

You can take that big a bite?

No. I took a normal-sized bite, then dumped the rest on that table.

That was my whole supply of bun xao!

Can you get more?

It's hard to say.

Because people would pay good money if you could.

It's getting easier to say.

Dang. Can I get 10 more servings of those noodles for other people?

Absolutely not.

I will share my bun xao with you, but nobody else.

Okay.

Can I get 10 more servings of those noodles for me?

Of course!

And can you put them all into separate bags,

with individually packaged chopsticks, and a wet-nap?

I don't like it when my food touches.

The Organic Gardening Club was such a good idea.

You're telling me.

Soon, I'll be able to steal much healthier lunches from nerds.

Let the tomatoes ripen on the vine for a sweeter, more plump result!

I find gardening so peaceful.

[tractor chugging]

- Adam? - Echo?

Echo Zizzleswift?

You're in the Organic Gardening Club, just like me?

I had no idea we had so much in common.

Well, what are you doing here?

I just really "dig" gardening.

[crickets chirping]

Oh, no! We've got a cricket infestation.

They're going to destroy our crops!

No! I refuse to go back to stealing processed lunch meat and snack cakes!

Well, we can't use pesticides. We're the "Organic" Gardening Club.

No problem!

We just need to restore balance to the ecosystem,

by introducing one of the cricket's natural predators.

- [owls hooting] - The owl!

Stop it! Stop it! Get off of me.

[owl] Whooo!

You! You know who I'm talking to.

Whooo!

I just told you who. You.

Whooo!

Gaaaah!

Great. Now we have an owl infestation.

No problem.

All we need to do is introduce the owl's natural predator...

the bobcat!

[bobcat snarling]

Don't be afraid. It can't get worse. Bobcats have no natural predators.

[bobcat roars]

So! Gardening Club was pretty fun, huh?

Fun?

I'm covered in bobcat bites!

Interestingly, according to eastern homeopathic medicine,

bobcat bites can be easily healed

with a soothing ointment made from crickets.

It's a shame we don't have any crickets around here.

Oops.

So, I was just wondering if you have a club meeting after school,

and if it happens to be the same club I'm in... you go first.

What secret club?

I mean... the school doesn't have a secret club.

Who said anything about a secret club?

Ivy, does the school have a secret club?

[scoffs] Of course not.

[both] Shh!

[Tater, over loudspeaker static] Ahem! Attention, students and staff...

there is no secret club.

Also, tonight's secret club meeting will be held in Mr. Young's science lab.

What? How could I not know about this?

The school has a P.A. system?

Whatever you do, don't tell him that there really is a secret club.

[owl] Whooo!

Adam! Don't tell Adam there's a secret club!

Why is this so hard for you to understand?

You got that knock-knock joke I told you!

There you go.

Thanks.

Are you sure you need a hundred servings?

Yeah. They're really moving today.

Moving down my throat and into my stomach.

But you haven't put on a single pound.

If we were women, I would hate you.

[knock on door]

Whoa! That's a lot of Derby.

It looks like you really did eat all those noodles.

Now, if we were women, I would go clubbing with you.

And now that my stomach is bigger, so is my appetite.

Better make it 200 orders.

I'm on it!

Good. And just for the record, If we went clubbing,

there's no way you could compete with all of this.

[pipe organ plays]

[bell chimes]

[Slab, imposingly] Brothers and sisters, welcome to the secret...

Can we get on with this, please, Brother Slab?

I have a ton of homework...

to pick up from the guy who does my homework.

[toy squeaks]

I have never seen this duck before...

but I need him back anyway.

When I take a bath...

He protects me from sea monsters.

Adam? What are you doing here?

Echo?

Sister Echo Zizzleswift?

You're in the secret club, just like me?

I had no idea we had so much in common.

Welcome, Brother Adam.

This is not "Brother Adam." This is my brother, Adam.

Hey, Brother Owl, do you want to get in on this?

[owl] Whooo!

You!

This kind of confusing wordplay is right up your alley.

It appears we've been infiltrated.

According to the ancient rules of the secret club,

the infiltrator must die!

"his robe the proper shade of grey if he wishes to become a member."

Dang!

You ca... aaah!

Derby, look at yourself!

Well, not your feet. Those days are over.

I need another 300 orders.

No! No more noodles for you!

You have to quit cold turkey.

But I already quit cold turkey... when I started eating your noodles.

Don't make me go back to cold turkey.

Before you are fully admitted into our ancient order,

you must complete a series of grueling initiation rites.

Yes, Sister Echo.

Do I have to call you "sister"?

It just makes some of what I'm thinking a little more confusing.

According to the ancient scrolls,

if you refuse to perform the initiation rites,

you will be buried!

In debt, once you pay the hefty fine.

For your first task... you must walk across these coals.

That's barbaric!

You expect me to walk across burning-hot coals?

Of course not.

These are cold coals.

Oh.

In that case, no problem.

Oh, wow! That is really cold.

Ah!

Why would he take his shoes off?

We told him they were cold.

Ahh! Perfect.

Fresh garlic is the key.

- You called? - Aaah!

Master Ki?

Is it really you?

Yes, my pupil.

Who else would be worthy of wearing the fanciest of fancy hats?

Why have you come, Master Ki?

I need bun xao for the village.

The leaf monkeys took everything.

I see you and your fanciest of fancy hats escaped.

No surprise, since you are the master of vo thuat,

the ancient martial art of Vietnam.

True dat.

Master?

Would you allow me the pleasure of sparring with you again?

So be it, my pupil.

But be warned...

I have the strength of the mountains,

the sheer gale force of the winds,

and the flowing grace of the oceans.

Then I truly am at a disadvantage.

All I have to use are these two simple hands.

Gah!

In case you are wondering...

that's the flowing grace of the ocean that's running down my leg.

The next stage of initiation... the paddles.

Okay.

I said I'd do this. I won't quit.

A wise choice.

For if any initiate abandons the order, we will be forced to end his life.

Time membership to the secret club.

And he will no longer receive the discounts

we have negotiated with local merchants.

All right. I'm ready.

I don't think he knows how to play Ping-Pong.

Ping-Pong? We're going to play Ping-Pong?

Yes. You must face every member of the order

in the ancient game of table tennis.

That doesn't sound so bad.

At the same time.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Adam] Okay, that was a golf ball.

[gong crashes]

Please... don't go easy on me.

I want the honor of being defeated by the great Master Ki.

Okay, prepare to feel the unbridled...

Ohhh!

My hamstring!

The legroom in coach has gotten ridiculously cramped.

Oh, Master Ki, even weakened, I have no chance against you.

Gah!

Waah!

Ohhhh!

[weakly] Had enough?

Ahh! Hi-yaaaaaaa!

It seems the student has finally surpassed the teacher.

And now, I must deliver the killing blow.

Gaaaaah!

[normal voice] Dang, stop! It's me!

Master Mi?

Master Ki's sworn enemy?

I vowed to destroy you! Gaaaaah!

No! It's me! Me!

Mimi?

Master Mi's wife, who he stole from Master Ki?

No. Me. Derby!

- [gasps] - I'm not Master Ki.

I was just trying to trick you into giving me more noodles,

so I could sell them to these suckers for a huge profit.

I understand.

Bun xao makes people do crazy things.

So you're not mad at me?

No.

But they are.

I should hold this so it doesn't get damaged.

Wait! Hold me, too, so I don't get damaged.

Almost-Brother Adam, you have but one final rite of initiation to complete.

The shaving off of the eyebrows.

Seriously?

If you refuse, you will be tossed naked into a tank of great white sharks.

What? That's it?

We've reached the end of the scroll.

No! I won't let you do that to my brother.

I insist he be fully clothed when we toss him to the sharks.

[chuckling] Look at bald-eyes!

Now you must swear the ancient oath of the secret club.

Repeat after us.

I, Brother Adam...

I, Brother Adam...

swear this oath to the secret club...

swear this oath to the secret club...

[owl] Whooo!

Who...

made the whole thing up. There is no secret club.

Made the whole thing up. There is no secret... What?

[all] Gotcha!

So this was all a trick?

Of course, it was.

I needed to teach you a lesson for ruining all my other clubs.

Although, I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

You don't even look surprised.

No, I'm surprised.

I just don't look surprised,

because I have no eyebrows!

[laughter]

Okay, I've got to admit, that was a pretty good prank.

You guys are a hoot.

Except you, owl.

You just seem to make the same tired joke over and over again.

[owl] Whooo!

Don't quit your night job.

Anyway, you guys definitely got me.

[chuckling]

- That was close! - I know.

When Mr. Young showed up at our meeting,

I thought the secret of our secret club would get out!

I think, from now on we shouldn't put up posters,

or make P.A. announcements, or wear robes in the hallway.

Speaking of robes, I say we switch to those fluffy bathrobes.

They just look more comfy.

All in favor, say aye.

[all] Aye.

[owl] Nay!

I like what I have on.

Jerk.

[owl] Whooo!

You know who! You never vote with the group!

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