Original subtitles

Hey, Echo.

Why don't you sit with us?

Sorry, Adam, I can't stay.

- I have plans with - someone else today.

But I bought us macaroni.

They're using a brand-new

cheese substitute.

- I wouldn't eat - that mac and cheese.

- I just saw - the lunch lady sneeze!

Ah-choo!

Hey, that rhymed!

You're a poet and you didn't

realize it

until this very second.

- Yeah, why are you - rhyming everything?

- I guess Mr. Lewis - has that effect on me.

He teaches a class on poetry.

"She walks in beauty

like the night

of cloudless climes

and starry skies,

and all that's best

of dark and bright

meet in her aspect

and her eyes."

[girls swoon]

I know that look!

That's the look Echo gives me

- when I imagine - Echo gives me a look!

- What does he have - that I don't have?

Nothing.

Thanks, Derby.

Did I say "nothing"?

I meant "everything."

I'm always getting

those words confused.

? Goodbye, summer

hello, fall ?

- ? We've been trying - to get here ?

? Since we both

were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

- ? You can call me - what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word

where I am hid ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ??

[Derby, deep voice]

Hello, students.

I am Principal Tater.

I have decided to cancel school

for the rest of the week.

Yes!

[students cheering]

Finally,

a chance to see Chicago...

the musical in New York...

New York, the hotel

in Las Vegas.

Not so fast, mister!

How's this?

School is not canceled.

But Principal Tater said it is.

[gasps]

I'm Principal Tater!

This is just a...

devilishly handsome balloon.

How do I know

he's not Principal Tater

and you're the balloon?

Aah!

Test it on him!

Test it on him!

Aah!

Derby, you're going

to be punished for this.

[Derby, deep voice]

I couldn't agree more.

I'll handle him.

Nice try!

I'm confiscating this

gorgeous novelty item.

Wow, you have strong hands.

Ahh.

This will be even better

when my beanbag desk arrives.

[door opens and closes]

The welcome wagon's here,

and it's carrying lemon squares!

That's so sweet of you.

- Let me put it - with the gifts I got

From the other teachers.

So, I understand

you're new to teaching.

What did you do before this?

Jail? Were you in jail?

[chuckles]

- Yes.

- Aha!

How many hobos did you murder?

Actually, I chained myself

to a 500-year-old oak

- to prevent it - from being cut down.

Before that, I spent time

traveling the world.

Burning through your trust fund?

- Eating fancy, - cream-filled pastries

And drinking cafe au lait

with mimes in "Paree"?

No. I joined the Peace Corps

to dig wells

for villagers in drought zones.

Then I wrote a book of poetry.

I'm Deep?

Talk about conceited.

I'm blocking

the rest of the title.

I'm Deep in this Well I Dug

for Villagers

in a Drought Zone.

All profits go right

to my koala orphanage.

Yeah, well...

aww!

I love koalas.

That balloon was

the best principal I ever had.

Well, we could try

to get your balloon back.

What do you know about

- the secret room - of confiscated stuff?

Everything!

I mean, nothing!

Legend has it... Wait.

Legend has it

that somewhere

inside Finnegan High

is a room filled

with everything Tater

has ever confiscated

and more.

But the journey to this

mythical room is a perilous one,

filled with despair, madness,

and death!

I love death!

They're so cute and cuddly!

Sorry, I always confuse

death and bunnies.

OK.

- Who would like - to come to the board

- And label the rhyme scheme - of this sonnet?

[all clamor]

Hmph!

[Adam, beatnik accent]

Well, isn't this groovy?

Hey-hey, cats and kittens.

I'm lookin' for Mr. Lewis.

Dig?

J.P. Goldberg?

In the turtleneck-covered flesh.

You're my hero!

Everything I know about poetry,

I learned from you!

What are you doing here?

Tellin' you this place

is deadsville!

Ya gotta keep movin',

keep groovin',

keep goin' far, far away...

now.

- But, J.P., I'm just - trying to share

- My love of poetry - with young people,

And inspire them...

the way you inspired me.

Man, you gotta get

back on the road!

- [normal voice] - Let me help you pack your bags.

[grunting]

Well, lucky pupils,

- you are witnessing - a truly special moment.

There comes a point

in all poets' lives

when they must forge

their own view of the world...

and rebel against

their heroes!

What?!

You're my hero!

- Does that mean I have - to rebel against you?

No. Since I want you to rebel

against your heroes,

the best way to rebel against me

is not to rebel against me.

And you...

Thank you for showing me

Finnegan is where I belong...

and where I shall remain

until the day I die.

[girls swoon]

Any idea when that might be?

- OK, class, today - we're going to learn

Why science

is cooler than poetry.

- Poetry isn't cooler - than anything,

And it's still cooler

than science.

You'll see!

Mom?

Can I please just

go back to bed?

No.

Now, let's see if poetry

can cure disease.

[deadpan] "Roses are red,

- violets are blue; - sugar is sweet,

And so are you."

There. Do you feel better?

Oh, honey,

that was so sweet!

I do feel a little better.

No, you don't.

See? Poetry can't even cure

the common cold.

Neither can science.

OK, not yet,

but it might someday.

Poetry might someday.

He's right!

No, he's not right!

Don't listen to them, Echo.

Where's Echo?

Oh, Echo's not

in this class anymore.

- What?! - [Slab] This class conflicts

- With Advanced Poetry, - so she switched.

- I might do the same - now that I know poetry

Can heal the sick.

- Can I go join Mr. Lewis' - class now?

He's holding it in the quad.

Ooh, that sounds fun!

I could use some fresh air.

- Plus, I think - I'm about two poems away

From being completely cured.

"Weave a circle

'round him thrice,

and close your eyes

with holy dread,

for he on

honey-dew hath fed,

and drunk the milk

of paradise."

Wow!

- I think I'm actually - feeling better

Than before I was sick!

Cool Mr. Lewis is having

his class outside, huh?

Well, cool Mr. Young

can do that, too.

There's a cool Mr. Young?

What does he teach?

[Mr. Lewis] Mr. Young!

I see you're having class

outside, too.

I hope that we don't

bother you.

And I hope we don't bother you

when we study acou...

stic resonance.

Now, class.

This machine emits

low-frequency sound waves.

[machine whirs]

- When it oscillates - at the right frequency,

It can cause an object

to vibrate.

[frequency shifts]

That water is trembling...

like my heart.

As the frequency changes,

so does the object it affects.

[low rumbling]

Adam, what are you doing?

Just teaching science...

cool, cool science.

[students screaming]

[cracking]

I haven't seen a crack that big

since the plumber came over...

to fix the huge crack

in our bathtub!

[deafening rumbling]

[debris settles]

Wow!

This sinkhole has inspired me

to write a poem

about the bottomlessness

of my own soul.

Thanks, Mr. Young!

Mr. Young?

[Adam] Down here!

See? I'm deep, too.

Hello?

Mom?

OK, all we have to do

- is get Tater - to confiscate something,

And then we can follow him

to the secret room.

Let's see what Tater thinks of

my scissor-hands!

Aw!

I brought my comb hands.

Don't worry.

I'm sure I have something.

Let's see...

giant pin.

[air horn honks]

Air horn.

Laser pointer.

African emperor scorpion...

[scorpion hisses]

Easy, Skippy.

[Tater] Slab!

This backpack doesn't have

a regulation zipper.

I'm going to have

to confiscate it.

Follow him!

Where did he go?

He rounded the corner!

Follow him!

Oh.

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

Whoa!

We're on the other side

of a secret bank of lockers!

Now we'll never figure out

where Tater went!

My favorite first line

of a poem?

I'd say Edgar Allan Poe's

"Once upon a midnight dreary,

while I pondered,

weak and weary."

That's good... but I prefer

the fanciful eloquence of,

"I like big butts

and I cannot lie."

[girls swoon]

Wow!

Adam, you look awful!

Yeah, well...

time in the hole

really changes a man.

How did you get out?

Not using poetry,

that's for sure.

Listen, Adam, It's OK

if you don't like poetry.

It's not for everyone.

True.

It requires creative thinking,

not the cold, dull logic

of science.

Anyone can write a poem!

I think that's a great idea!

Thank you!

What's a great idea?

You writing a poem

and reciting it at

tonight's poetry slam.

That is a great idea!

No...

I'll be there!

Way I'm missing that.

I can't believe you're ironing.

You never iron.

I know!

But I just have so much energy

since you healed me

with that poem.

Yeah, yeah, poetry's great...

- except when - you have to write it.

Well, inspiration is everywhere.

Just look around you.

You're right.

- All I have to do - is pick something

And rhyme it

with something else.

- I just need to avoid - these few words

That don't rhyme with anything.

"Orange," "iron"...

"month," "bulb,"

"sandwich," "chocolate,"

"pizza," "monster"...

[grunting]

Uh?

Ah!

Tater's secret room must be

around here somewhere.

Wait! If the legend is true,

this whole place is

protected by booby traps.

You're right. Maybe we should

only step on these special tiles

with targets painted on them.

That seems safe.

Duck!

Ooh, I love ducks!

[scoffs]

One pencil?

- Unless it comes - with a math test,

It's hardly scary.

[booby traps open]

Maybe we're supposed to

avoid these tiles.

[objects launching]

-Aah!

-Aah!

- -Huh? - -Huh?

- I guess Tater sharpened one, - then stopped.

Bless that lazy, lazy man.

Thank you for that

stirring poem.

I had no idea so many words

rhymed with "grr."

[applause]

Next up, Echo Zizzleswift.

[applause]

Hi, everyone!

My poem is called The Future.

- "When I see you - toss your can in the garbage

Instead of recycling,

I see the future:

the countryside...

piled high with rotting waste!

[all gasp]

Our planet, a parched,

desiccated, shriveled,

scorched, barren,

eviscerated, bulldozed,

ravaged, endless wasteland!"

Thank you!

Wow.

So beautiful.

- Are you referring - to the secret key

To the secret room

or to my new haircut?

Secret key.

Wait!

Are you referring to

"wait" as in "halt,"

- or "weight" as in - a system of units

For expressing

heaviness or mass?

The second one.

This pedestal probably

has a weight sensor.

If we take the key,

- it'll trigger - a deadly booby trap.

- We need something - of equal weight

To replace the key.

I always think better

with jellybeans.

I've got nothing.

Now I've really got nothing.

[Slab spits]

Perfect.

It worked!

[rumbling]

- -Aah! - -Aah!

Slab! Now that I'm staring

bunnies in the face,

- I just want to say - one last thing.

I did notice your haircut,

and it's very flattering.

We're not going to die!

Look!

That's it?

A dodge ball?

Like that can hurt us.

Ow!

Ha ha ha!

Ow!

Confiscated.

And now,

with our final poem...

Adam Young!

[applause]

Maybe something will inspire me

in the next 3 steps.

Ah, it was worth a shot.

Adam, I just want to tell you

- how cool it is - that you're doing this.

Good luck!

"Everything about you

inspires me.

Your beauty,

like a flash of gold

in the riverbed.

Your kindness,

a low, full moon,

bathing me in its warm glow.

The world is full of mysteries

that science tries to explain,

like shining a flashlight

down a dark hall,

or finding

the right key for a lock.

But there's one thing that

science will never unlock:

the mystery of you...

and I wouldn't want it to."

[monster bawls]

Wow!

Adam, that was incredible!

- -You liked it? - -Yeah.

Well, I should tell you,

I was really inspired by...

Me!

- I had no idea you felt - such a powerful bond

Between us...

especially since

we just met yesterday.

[applause]

That was wonderful, Mr. Young!

Truly inspired...

which makes me realize

how dreadful

the rest of you were.

I can't do this anymore.

I quit!

[students gasp]

I'm going back on the road,

where I belong.

[bike bell rings]

Well, looks like

everything's back to...

Thanks a lot, Mr. Poet!

Because of you,

Mr. Lewis is gone!

Hey!

[monster grunts]

We'll discuss this later...

when you're under my bed!

[snaps fingers]

OK, I think this is

the secret room.

You mean this one

marked "secret room,"

- as opposed to - that room over there

Marked "not the secret room"?

It could've been a trick.

OK, if this sign

is to be believed...

And I think we've learned

they're pretty trustworthy...

Then we've found the secret room

of confiscated stuff!

[padlock clicks]

A broom closet?!

Yes, brooms!

We came here for toys!

Stupid brooms.

I see you've discovered

my secret.

You're bald!

That there is no secret room

of confiscated stuff.

But the legend...

A suburban myth...

like that one about the yeti

working in the Big and Tall

store at the mall.

Everything I confiscate

gets donated to charity.

Specifically, a koala orphanage.

-Aww!

-Aww!

Good luck getting back.

I sharpened all the pencils!

[booby traps open]

[Derby and Slab yelp]

[diabolic chuckle]

It's all mine.

Hey, where'd you get that pin?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0