Original subtitles

[yawning]

Good morning, Mom.

Good morning, sleepyhead.

- Derby, what are - you doing here?

Making breakfast.

- I eat here every morning - before you get up.

Are we out of cereal?

"We?"

Ah, here it is.

Cyclops brand Cycloops...

- Fruit-shaped Os - with marshmallow eyes.

- What are you doing?

- Looking for the toy prize.

I called dibs

while you were asleep.

So, you're not even

going to eat the cereal?

Of course not. I made

a Tex-Mex scramble.

Besides, this stuff

is all sugar.

I'm not even sure

why Mom buys it.

You call Mom Mom?

She insisted.

There's no prize here!

It says "A prize in every box,"

- right here next - to "A good source

Of artificial flavor."

So what? It's just

a 10-cent plastic toy.

If they're lying

about the prize inside,

what else are they lying about?

Maybe this isn't a good source

of artificial flavor.

No. No, it is.

Look, Derby, let's

just forget about it

and have breakfast.

Have breakfast?

I'm too upset to eat.

? Goodbye, summer hello, fall ?

- ? We've been trying - to get here ?

? Since we both

were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

- ? You can call me - what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word

where I am hid ?

? Who you calling "kid"? ?

OK, nerds. When you get

to the front of the line,

present your lunch bag

for inspection.

Remember, you will only

be allowed to keep

fruits and vegetables.

[scanner beeping]

Is this your lunch, nerd?

Yeah.

I'm going to

have to look inside.

A chocolate bar?

I didn't know that was there!

I swear,

Mommy packed my lunch!

- I'm going to have to - ask you to join

That line for

level two screening.

But... I... my mother...

Don't worry, sir.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

[Slab] We need to do

a full-body search.

We've got to do

something about Slab.

- Maybe he wouldn't want - so many lunches

- If we got Derby - to invite him over

To Adam's house every morning

for a Tex-Mex scramble.

- I don't think - this is about the food.

I think Slab just

needs a new hobby.

And fast!

Uh, could I request

a female bully?

Help me!

I am so upset about this

cereal-box-toy thing!

I'm calling Cyclops Foods

to complain.

Can I borrow your phone?

I guess so.

Agh!

[crunching]

Agh!

Nope. That didn't

make me feel better.

I'm still calling them.

Wow. I've never seen you

care about something so much.

Well, to be fair,

you mostly see me in your class.

Here. Listen in.

- I'm about to get - a free lifetime supply

Of Cycloops.

[woman] Thank you

for calling Cyclops Foods.

To report a poisoning,

press or say, "one."

If one of our soups caused

your tongue to fall off,

press or press "two."

I think I've eaten their soup.

For all other complaints,

press or say, "three."

Three.

That mailbox is currently full.

Goodbye.

What?! This is an outrage.

I'm going to write a letter

- to the president - of the company.

Can I borrow your laptop?

No! Give me that!

You know, maybe

it will help Slab relax

if he joins our knitting circle,

the Knit-wits.

Well, it certainly relaxes me.

Plus, I'm just about

finished this toupee.

Can you tell?

Can you tell I'm wearing it?

Wearing what?

So we should ask Slab to join.

Slab, how would you like to be

a Knit-wit?

- And how would you like - to be a spot

On the bottom of my shoe?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, I see your confusion.

- I was asking you - if you'd like join

The Knit-wits,

our knitting circle.

I know.

Cyclops Foods.

Cool. This is where they make

Cycloops, Cyclobster Bisque,

and Cyclop Tarts.

Can I help you?

Yes. I would like to see

the president...

Mr. Cyclops.

I'm sorry. He's not in today.

[muffled] Hey, Thoosa!

Check this out.

For Halloween, I'm

going as a "Biclops."

Excuse me, Mr. Cyclops?

What? No-o-o-o.

My name is Mr. Jones.

You think because I'm a Cyclops

my name is Mr. Cyclops?

You're young.

Should I call you Mr. Young?

I can't believe he's not here!

- Perhaps I could give him - a message for you.

No, we're past messages.

I want to look him in the eye.

- Why don't you make - an appointment?

Great. Make us an appointment.

We don't do that in this office.

You'll have to call this number.

Fine.

You call.

[desk phone ringing]

Thank you for

calling Cyclops Foods.

To report a poisoning,

press or say, "one."

- If one of our soups - caused your tongue

To fall off,

press or press "two."

For complaints,

press or say, "three."

Three.

Did you knit that hoodie, Slab?

Yup.

- And I'm almost finished - the pants.

I also made this hat

and these slippers.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Cupcakes!

Yup. Made those, too.

Why would you knit cupcakes?

- They're a real - conversation starter.

They taste awful.

I bet they do.

And conversation started.

Uh-oh. Nerds!

Nerds?!

I should knit them

pocket protectors.

I know it's a stereotype,

but, still, they use them.

[knocking on door]

[tough voice]

Delivery for Mistah Cyclops!

I'll take that.

Easy there, honey.

No can do.

- If this Cyclops fella - don't sign for it himself,

My supervisor will be on me

like a butterfly

on a flowering mornin' glory.

Nice. Very tough.

OK, OK. Follow me.

Mr. Cyclops?

Unh! I wasn't asleep.

I was just resting my eye.

[Thoosa] There's

a delivery for you.

Here you go.

Just sign here.

Thanks.

Ain't you gonna open it?

Eventually.

Put it with the others.

He's not opening it?

I'm running out of air in here.

[whispering]

What do you want me to do?

[pop, air escapes]

Ahh.

[popping]

What was that?

We'll never know

unless you open it.

- Thoosa, this letter - is annoying me.

Put it in the shredder.

[Derby] Aah!

Ow!

A locker cozy.

How... cozy.

- It's nice to make - something with my hands

Other than a fist.

I'm also knitting a school cozy!

You don't look happy

- for a guy who just - solved his Slab problem.

Well, I have a new problem.

The school's

been overrun by nerds!

[slurping]

I guess by removing

the nerds' only predator,

their population

has been allowed to explode.

I mean, not through

mating, obviously.

They're nerds.

We have to do something.

If this school goes 100% nerd,

- we'll never win - a sporting event,

We'll have to cancel prom...

And our test scores will

go through the roof.

What's bad about that one?

- If this school becomes - an academic gem,

They're going to replace me

with someone competent.

- [lightsabers clashing - and buzzing]

Oh, just pick it up, nerd.

[rattling]

- All clear.

- All clear.

How can I help you?

You can help us help you

help us help you stay alive.

We're from the C.I.A....

The Cyclops Intelligence Agency.

We've been assigned

to keep our eye on you.

We've been hearing chatter

about corporate espionage.

We have credible evidence

- that the enemy - is planning attacks

Using people in giant envelopes.

It's diabolical.

If you could take us

to Mr. Cyclops,

we'll be able to provide him

with a security detail.

Well...

there was a guy

in a giant envelope

here yesterday,

but he ran away

like a cowardly little girl.

Maybe he's an evil genius

and running away

was just to lull you into

a false sense of security.

And to be extra convincing,

he peed in the envelope.

Well, I'll take you

to Mr. Cyclops,

but I really don't think

he's in any danger.

[Cyclops] Help! Help!

Don't worry, Mr. Cyclops!

The C.I.A. is here.

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh.

[envelope man yells]

[bubble wrap popping]

Wow. Those padded

envelopes really work.

Oops.

You're a Biclops!

What?! All these years.

I trusted you!

You're my kid's godfather!

OK, here's the thing.

I opened a box of Cycloops,

and there was no toy.

So?

It says, "Prize in every box."

- It also says, - "A good source of nutrition."

OK! Here's what we'll do.

We'll leave your office.

- You give him the toy - and apologize.

- I control the market - around here.

- If I have one - unhappy customer,

Who cares?

You're not getting the toy.

Why are you standing there?

- I told you you're - not getting the toy.

I didn't think you meant it

because you winked afterward.

I didn't wink. I blinked.

This is winking.

Now, if you don't mind,

I need to have a meeting

with my secretary.

- Was that a wink?

- Yes!

I can't believe the head

- of a major multinational - corporation

Could be so untrustworthy.

I'm never eating anything made

by Cyclops Foods again.

Ooh! Cyclops-brand mixed nuts!

Mmm.

These nuts are bursting

with artificial flavor.

Mr. Cyclops is right.

They're a huge,

powerful company.

Look around! Everything's

made by Cyclops foods.

This root beer...

this spray-on ham...

this giant box of croutons.

Oh, great. It just expired,

and look how much is still left.

What a waste.

- Well, what are we - supposed to do?

They have no reason

- to improve their products - or customer service.

They have no real competition.

Not yet.

Good morning, Thoosa.

Did they fix my window yet?

Let me check for you.

Centaur Foods?

I can't believe my eye!

Who is this Centaur Foods?

Why have I never heard of them?

I have two ears.

Just try to relax, sir.

Why don't you watch TV?

- There's a Greek - mythology special on.

All that stuff is bunk.

- [announcer] - "Mayhem on Mount Olympus"

Will return

after these messages.

Dude! I just shredded

a sick heel-flip!

And I'm hungry.

Well, you're just

in time for breakfast!

We're having Centaurioops!

Awesome!

- He loves it - because it's delicious,

And I love it because

it's good for him

and 100% unartificial!

Two toys?

Totally rad!

Ohh! Two toys?

- That's one more - than we advertise

And two more than

we actually give!

- [Derby] Centaurioops - from centaur Foods.

Part of a balanced breakfast.

- [rapidly] "Unartificial" - is a made-up word

And has no real meaning.

[Echo] So, Slab...

maybe you want to do

something other than knit,

especially since you've almost

finished your school cozy.

Slab.

This has got to stop!

Although the school

is nice and toasty.

But I love knitting!

- Couldn't you pick - on the nerds a little bit?

A swirly here, a wedgie there?

- Not that you can even - get to their underpants,

With the 24/7 renaissance fair

we've got going on here.

- Wait. You want me to - give up knitting

And go back to picking on nerds?

Forget it!

Maybe you can find

a way to do both.

Here. This is for you.

Try it on.

Ha ha ha!

Nice nerdy sweater, nerd.

- [Derby] "Unartificial" - is a made-up word

And has no real meaning.

By now, Centaur Foods

should have Cyclops

pretty nervous.

I bet he's sleeping

with one eye open...

or half an eye open.

I hope you're right.

We really can't afford

to keep buying ad time on TV.

Although, I must say,

television advertising

has been, and remains,

- the most cost-effective - and proven way

A company can connect

with consumers.

[cell phone ringing]

Do you know anyone

named "Foods Cyclops?"

It's Cyclops Foods.

Answer it.

- Thank you for calling - Centaur Foods.

For nutritional information,

press or say, "one"...

Operator.

Man, he's good!

Hello?

Uh-huh.

That's right.

You bet you will.

Goodbye.

What did he want?

- To meet with - our board of directors.

We don't have

a board of directors.

Then it'll be a short meeting.

OK, they're on their way up.

I don't trust these guys.

I'm going into this meeting

with my eye wide open.

Excuse me.

I'm Mr. Centaur,

president of Centaur Foods.

I'm here to see Mr. Cyclops.

Is he here?

I'm Mr. Cyclops.

I'd like to introduce you

to the rest of my team.

My vice-president Mr. Kraken.

My chief financial officer

Ms. Siren.

[plucking tinny harp]

[shrieking]

And my head of security

Mr. Minotaur.

[snorts]

[Slab] Sorry.

I'm a little stuffed up.

Well, please come in.

Sit down.

Or stand.

Thoosa, would you get

our guests a snack?

I'd love some Cycloops.

Let me get to the point.

I don't like competition.

[Adam] I bet you don't.

- I guess you'll have to - improve your products

- And customer relations - in order to stay in business.

Where did you go

to business school?

I want to buy your company

for $100 million.

$100 million?!

OK, $150 million.

Sounds good!

Let's sign the paperwork.

Ohh! Got the toy!

You fell for it.

Fell for what?

- Nothing! - Y-you fell for nothing.

- Nobody fell! - Sign the paperwork.

Here's some ink.

Pfffft.

There is no Centaur Foods!

- Right! Because - we've been swallowed up

By the bigger, better

Cyclops Foods

for $150 million.

Squirt him again.

We made up the whole company

so I could get this.

We win.

And you heard it right

from the horse's mouth.

I'm not sure that's the part

of the horse that

did the talking.

Whee! Whee! Whee!

You're sure you're not mad?

On the bus,

you seemed mad.

Because you lost us

$150 million?

- Water under the bridge.

- [Slab] Yeah.

We found another way

to make some money.

[Adam] Centaur rides! $20!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Lose the armor, buddy.

I've changed my mind.

Good sir,

your steed awaits.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0