Original subtitles

Mr. Tater,

do we really have to do this?

Yes. How else is Finnegan High

going to get any trophies

unless you guys make them?

We could win them.

Win them?

- I love you young people - and your sense of humor.

Finnegan High's

never won anything.

But we have a trophy case.

Filled with fake trophies

we make in shop class.

That's pathetic.

More pathetic

than an empty trophy case?

[everyone] Yes!

And gymnastics?

- Do we really have to make - a trophy for everything?

This isn't for a trophy.

- I'm late for - my ribbon dancing class.

? Goodbye, summer

hello, fall ?

- ? We've been trying - to get here ?

? Since we both

were barely two feet tall ?

? Who you callin' kid?

Who you callin' kid? ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

? Can call me what you want ?

? But I won't hear a word

where I am here ?

? Who you callin' kid? ?

[toilet flushing]

Do not go in there.

- Seriously, - it's my private bathroom.

You're breaking up with me?

But, Hutch, I thought

we had something special.

No.

You had something special.

Me.

And now you don't.

Don't worry, Molly.

- I'll leave you something - to remember me by.

- The Hutch Anderson - break-up basket.

Pictures of me,

a tub of ice cream,

- and this t-shirt. - It's 100% cotton,

So it'll shrink

if you put it in the dryer.

And you'll probably

be packing on the pounds.

[girls crying]

Are you OK?

No! I don't want to be alone!

There, there.

Derby's here for you.

I wanted the ice cream.

Slab? I think you're

in the wrong room.

You realize the "Brains of

Tomorrow" quiz team

is having

its first meeting here?

Yes.

- And you understand that - the members of the team

Are usually

academically inclined?

Yes.

Then... why are you here?

- Hey, I came - to join the quiz team,

Not answer a bunch of questions!

- We're never going to - win a trophy

With you-know-who

on the team.

Who, you or Slab?

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I was in the library

reading the encyclopedia.

Thank goodness, you're here

to join the Brains of Tomorrow.

This is Brains of Tomorrow?

- I was looking for - Brians of Tomorrow.

I'm changing my name to Brian...

tomorrow.

- One of the practice - questions was,

"What does the 'DC' stand for

in Washington, DC?"

Slab said, "Da capital."

He's so stupid.

Not necessarily.

- Developmental - psychologists theorize

- There are many types - of intelligence...

Interpersonal, spatial,

mathematical,

existential, linguistic,

and logical.

- I remember them - with this simple memory trick,

- Using the first letter - of each word,

I-S-M-E-L-L,

or "I smell."

Mr. Tater!

Tell him what you told me.

I smell.

- There's nothing - to be embarrassed about.

At your age, your body's

going through... changes,

and it might be time to try

some type of anti-perspirant.

I use this.

Estrogentle botanical

stay-fresh stick.

It never stings,

even after I shave.

- Actually, - I was going to suggest

Putting Adam on the quiz team.

He knows everything.

He didn't know about

the benefits of Estrogentle,

but that's a great idea.

We might even win a trophy.

Except, it's a student team,

and I'm not a student.

But nobody needs to know that.

- Just like nobody knows - I wear a toupee.

- I also don't need - these glasses.

These, I need.

Hey, Molly-dolly,

I got you something!

An "I heart Derby" t-shirt.

Thanks, but I already have

a t-shirt.

"I club Derby?"

Ow!

What's going on?

Yesterday, you were hugging me.

We even kissed.

That wasn't a nightmare?

[retching]

Uh... occupied!

Does "private" mean

nothing to you people?

Look, Derby, yesterday,

- I was in a weakened, - pathetic state.

I only spent time with you

- because my self-esteem - was so low.

It's higher now, despite

having spent time with you.

Wait, so you're saying

if Hutch dumped a girl,

- I have a shot with her?

- I guess so,

but for a very short window.

I'll take any window I can get.

Derby! You know the rules!

"No looking at me.

"No talking to me.

- "No pretending - to study the rules

- So you can spend - a few extra seconds near me."

"And no watching me walk away."

Helium, neon, argon, krypton,

xenon, and radon.

Each one is a noble...

- Slab? - Gas.

That's right, Slab.

- What's right? - I was just saying I have gas.

- I'm not interrupting - anything, am I?

Actually, you are.

- I was just about to punctuate - juvenile wordplay

With a fart.

- The quiz committee is coming - to scout the school

Sometime this week,

so you need to act

like a student,

and I need you all

to play along.

Give me your lunch, nerd.

Very good, Slab.

Way to be a team player.

I was talking to you.

I hope you enjoy it.

Mommy cut off the crusts.

I guess that teaching

didn't pan out, huh?

'cause here you are,

a student just like me.

Derby, I'm just pretending

to be a student.

You're even in my class.

Actually, you're in my class.

[school bell rings]

Today, we're going to talk about

the periodic table of elements.

- [snoring] - See?

I told you this stuff is boring!

[snoring]

[school bell rings]

[saw whines]

[crunch]

[screaming]

Adam... the tops of these

paint cans just pop off.

- You don't have to - saw them in half.

It worked.

[bell rings]

There you are, Chuck.

You've been absent for months.

Actually, I'm...

I was sick.

Well, you've missed

a myriad of lessons

on a wide variety of subjects.

So, pay attention to this one.

I'm only going to teach it once.

Who has heard of

the War of 1812?

Hmm, sounds interesting.

Chuck, are you talking

in class?

Yes.

Did you say "yes" or "no"?

Because I can't hear a thing.

- You get detention - for confusing me.

[bell rings]

Oof! Uhh!

It's called dodgeball.

You're supposed to

dodge the ball.

[bell rings]

Bonjour, class.

Bonjour.

Je m'appelle Adam.

Quit it.

[bell rings]

Psst!

- [whispering] - Let's sneak out.

- [whispering] - Don't talk to me.

Mrs. Straupersson will get mad.

She's scary.

If you're a crow.

She never

takes her eyes off me.

What's this?

A court order granting me

permission to talk to you.

OK. I guess I have no choice.

I can't violate the orders

of Judge Squiggle.

- I-I was thinking that - you and Hutch

Would make a great couple,

one that would never break up,

leaving you broken-hearted,

opening a short window of

opportunity for someone else.

Yeah, well,

I've given up on Hutch.

He's just not interested in me.

Me! I mean, look at me.

I didn't mean

actually look at me.

Don't worry.

I can help you with Hutch.

- How is this - going to attract Hutch?

He's not made of metal.

Ivy? I didn't know

you were into magnets.

I love magnets!

You want to go hang out

and talk magnets?

Sure!

Actually, let's talk magnets

over dinner.

Today, we're going to be

learning about...

chem-istry.

I can't take

being a student anymore.

- When is the quiz committee - going to be here?

Oh, they were here

two days ago.

We're all good.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Because I forgot.

So, does that mean Adam

can be on the quiz team?

Yup. In fact, you should go

practice with your partner.

- Yes! - Slab.

- Echo, did I mention - you're off the team?

No! I really could use

some sort of memo pad.

- Why would you - get rid of Echo?

We need Slab.

- He's intimidating to - the other team.

Echo, you're not

as smart as Adam,

or as scary as Slab.

You serve no purpose.

[yelps in fear]

OK, but still,

not quite as scary as Slab.

Really, Adam, you and Slab

will do just fine.

I'm happy being an alternate.

But, if Slab is injured,

you'll be back on the team,

and we'll be partners.

Partners...

you and me.

Partners.

[whispering] Partners...

In you go.

- When you're done - saying "partners,"

You may want to look over there.

- Slab is coming. - Oh.

"Look...

dow-w-w-n."

[scoffs] More reading?

I'm just going to hope

it's some nerd's lunch.

Yuck. There are bits of anvil

all over this sandwich!

Gimme your lunch, Ken.

Brian. Sorry. I'll get it.

A chocolate bar?

- That's not mine.

- That's correct.

A golden ticket?

??

- I never learned - to somersault.

That's right, young lad!

I'm Billy Bonkers,

- and you've won - an exclusive tour

Of my chocolate factory!

Uumpa lumpa whoopadee doo!

The tour is scheduled

- for the same time - as the Brains of Tomorrow

Quiztravaganza.

I trust that won't be a problem.

- I'd skip that in a second - to tour a chocolate factory!

- It's always been - a dream of mine.

Amazing! Fangooblius!

Spectac-tic-toocular!

But I can't.

This isn't really mine.

It belongs to Brian.

Send me a postcard

from the nougat river.

So, Ivy,

ready to go out for dinner?

Why go out?

Table for deux?

It doesn't look like

the Deuxes showed up.

Can we have their table?

But of course!

Would mademoiselle

care to try

our famous French onion,

garlic, and skunk soup?

Actually, I...

Oh, no! Mademoiselle,

she has the stink breath.

I suppose you will be

dumping her now.

We haven't even

talked magnets yet!

We'll just have

stink breath together.

[sighing]

[thud]

Would the handsome signore

like to buy

some non-poisonous flowers

for the lovely bambina?

No poison at all.

Won't cause the itching,

or the nausea,

or the uncontrolled sweating.

- That sounds great.

- There you go.

These are for you.

No, thanks.

What? I mean, a-what-a?

I know this great magnet store

on the way home.

- I'd rather get - a little skunk magnet

To remember our evening by.

Well, in that case,

you take these.

Oh, the itching!

The nausea!

The uncontrolled sweating!

- Take control - of that sweating

With new, extra strength

Estrogentle,

- available where regular - Estrogentle is sold.

Welcome, everyone,

to the Brains of Tomorrow

quiztravaganza,

between Finnegan High

and Western High.

[cheering and applause]

- Finally, a chance - to win a real award,

Because, tomorrow,

- I'm supposed to pose for - a girls' swim team trophy,

And I'm feeling

a little bloated.

Let's get started

with our first question.

The category is chemistry.

It's pronounced,

"chem -istry."

"Helium, neon, argon, krypton...

[ringing answer bell]

[cracking knuckles]

[error tone buzzes]

Time's up. Finnegan?

"Helium, neon,

"argon, krypton, xenon,

and radon

are all examples of..?"

[ringing answer bell]

Words?

That's correct.

[cheering and applause]

I'm being told that's incorrect.

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

- Maybe Adam's setting them up - for a dramatic finish

Or something.

Next question. History.

What was the name of the war

fought in 1812?

How is anyone

supposed to know that?

- [rings answer bell] - Ken!

No, Brian.

I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

You say you're sorry,

but you don't look like

you really are.

- What are you doing?

- I'm throwing the game.

If you can't win a trophy,

then I don't want to

win one either.

- But if...

- No speaking to Chuck.

I was just...

Trying to feed him the answers?

Not on my watch, missy.

OK, going into

the final question,

we're tied at zero-zero,

thanks to Finnegan's

stupid answers

and Western mostly

peeing themselves.

You never heard of

an adult diaper?

We can still win.

The category is physics.

What do you call

the repetition of sound

caused by the reflection

of sound waves?

[rings answer bell]

That's right.

I'm doing this for you...

- [error tone buzzes]

- Echo.

Too late, Chuck.

"Echo" is the correct answer,

but it was after the buzzer.

No one wins.

- Looks like I'll be melting - this down for teeth.

Did you see that? I lost.

- Why did you do that? - For you!

I'm an alternate.

If you had won,

I'd have gotten a trophy, too!

Oh...

I hadn't thought of that.

[chuckling]

That's actually kind of funny

in an ironic way.

- I think we'll be - laughing about this

For a long time, partn...

Ah! Whoa!

Echo, stop!

[groaning]

Ow...

I'd like to congratulate

Finnegan High's first ever

trophy winner!

[cheering and applause]

[shutter clicks]

[growling aggressively]

Good... job...

partner.

[sighing in contentment]

It's been three days.

Would you two break up already?

What?

We're never going to break up.

Ivy's a great girl.

I really like her.

What did you say?

- You like me? - I thought you were different

Than other guys.

I can't be with a guy

who likes me.

We're done-zo.

What?

Duh... nzo.

Are you OK, man?

No!

I don't want to be alone!

[sobbing]

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