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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:06,257 If you throw this plastic 2 00:00:06,258 --> 00:00:07,633 soda bottle in the garbage, 3 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,136 it will take 450 years 4 00:00:09,137 --> 00:00:10,595 to break down. 5 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,180 As opposed to Derby, 6 00:00:12,181 --> 00:00:13,723 who breaks down 7 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,723 almost instantly. 8 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,728 - [whining] - Well, it's humiliating. 9 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:21,940 - Plus, I just had - these pants cleaned. 10 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:27,237 Anyway, that's why I asked 11 00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:29,488 to see what you could engineer 12 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:29,488 out of old soda bottles. 13 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,611 Let's start with you, Slab. 14 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,372 What's this? 15 00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:39,790 I turned a soda bottle 16 00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:41,166 into an empty bottle. 17 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,586 - Do you want to know - how I did it? 18 00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:44,730 - No, I think - I can figure it... 19 00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:45,797 [burps loudly] 20 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,716 Oh... It burns! 21 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,469 Anyone else? 22 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:54,512 Echo? 23 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,519 Did you copy off Slab? 24 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,147 Of course not. 25 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,188 [burps impressively] 26 00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,528 Did anyone do anything besides 27 00:01:08,529 --> 00:01:10,070 bring in an empty bottle? 28 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,112 I did. 29 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,450 [sighs] 30 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,828 It's a bottle of orange soda. 31 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,581 Yeah, but it used to be 32 00:01:19,582 --> 00:01:20,957 root beer. 33 00:01:20,999 --> 00:01:22,584 So, you just poured 34 00:01:22,585 --> 00:01:24,168 another bottle of soda 35 00:01:20,999 --> 00:01:24,168 into this bottle? 36 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,670 No. I ran out of time, 37 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,129 so I just lied 38 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,129 and said I did. 39 00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,275 - But at least I brought - enough for everyone. 40 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,979 - But, wait, Derby, - that bottle's been... 41 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,139 Shaken. 42 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,349 [theme song playing] 43 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,236 I can't believe no one 44 00:02:10,237 --> 00:02:11,549 did the assignment. 45 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,276 - My students don't know - how lucky they have it. 46 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,447 I'm young, I'm cool, 47 00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:15,594 I speak their language... 48 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,196 - [calls out] - Peace out, home-roomies! 49 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:21,893 Nobody speaks that language. 50 00:02:23,061 --> 00:02:24,603 They could have it a lot worse. 51 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,064 Their science teacher could be 52 00:02:26,065 --> 00:02:27,481 some cranky, old curmudgeon. 53 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,237 In fact... 54 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,613 Their science teacher will be 55 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:35,948 some cranky, old curmudgeon. 56 00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,993 - You can see - into the future? 57 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,289 Will Slab throw me in 58 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:43,748 the garbage can tomorrow? 59 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,124 'Cause I'll just wear 60 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:46,458 these dirty pants again. 61 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,398 Are you really complaining? 62 00:02:48,399 --> 00:02:50,295 You sprayed orange soda 63 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,295 all over my clothes! 64 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,360 Relax, a little club soda 65 00:02:51,361 --> 00:02:52,381 will get that right out. 66 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,640 Derby, 67 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,559 this is grape. 68 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,939 - Yeah, they were - all out of club soda. 69 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,195 - It's five seconds - after 9:00. 70 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,781 Mr. Young's not here yet, 71 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,182 - so I can only - assume the worst. 72 00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:20,367 He'll be here shortly. 73 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,565 - [snapping] - What are you gawkin' at? 74 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,466 - Why don't you paint a portrait? - It'll last longer. 75 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,177 Are you lost? 76 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,428 I'll walk you home. 77 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,470 I'm not lost! 78 00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:42,473 I'm your substitute 79 00:03:42,474 --> 00:03:43,474 teacher, Mr... 80 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,269 Elderman! 81 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,021 Take your seat, little missy! 82 00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:50,731 Same goes for the rest 83 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,731 of you rapscallions! Scoot! 84 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,361 It's time to learn, 85 00:03:55,362 --> 00:03:57,321 so get the wax out 86 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,321 of your noggin-flaps. 87 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,491 - I cleaned my noggin-flaps - this morning. 88 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,237 Along with my snot-launchers. 89 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,622 Don't be sassin' me. 90 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,145 I warn you, 91 00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:09,625 I do not take any guff. 92 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,752 -What's "guff"? 93 00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:11,836 -There! That, right there, 94 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,836 that was guff! 95 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,463 That was guff? 96 00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:15,631 Is this guff, too? 97 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,715 [thump] 98 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,968 Enough guff. 99 00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:23,994 This classroom is now 100 00:04:23,995 --> 00:04:26,142 a guff-free zone. 101 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,207 Also not allowed 102 00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,229 twaddle, bunkum, 103 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:30,229 and tommyrot. 104 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,962 -What a jerk. 105 00:04:33,963 --> 00:04:35,526 -Shut your pudding-hole, 106 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,526 sasquatch! 107 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,280 Are you teaching this class? 108 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,992 No. You are. 109 00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:44,952 - Wow. The memory - really goes at that age. 110 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,121 That's it! 111 00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:48,310 Go sit In the corner 112 00:04:48,311 --> 00:04:49,456 and put on this dunce cap. 113 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,043 - That's okay, - I brought my own. 114 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,693 I have a large head, 115 00:04:56,694 --> 00:04:58,298 so I had get a special order 116 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:58,298 from my hatter, 117 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,759 which wasn't easy, 118 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,177 because he's about 119 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,177 as mad as a... 120 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,227 What's all the racket 121 00:05:09,228 --> 00:05:10,310 in here, Mr... 122 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,771 Oh. Excuse me. 123 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,816 - [speaking slowly] - Are you lost? 124 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,527 - Because Echo could - walk you home. 125 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,031 No! I'm Mr. Elderman. 126 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:23,991 - Substituting for - the cool, hip Mr. Young. 127 00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:26,952 - There are two Mr. Youngs - in this school? 128 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:29,997 Are you giving me guff? 129 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:31,103 Because you can go 130 00:05:31,104 --> 00:05:32,166 stand with him! 131 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:33,876 [George] Nice dunce cap! 132 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,211 Who's your hatter? 133 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,547 Because mine went mad. 134 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,495 So, Derby, 135 00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:49,975 what'd you think of 136 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,975 your crotchety old substitute? 137 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,894 - Hey, that's no way - to talk about yourself. 138 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:54,688 Derby. 139 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,356 Yes, Mr. Elderman? 140 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,608 -It's me. 141 00:05:57,609 --> 00:05:58,817 -Yeah, I know, Mr. Elderman. 142 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,153 And it's me. Derby. 143 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,876 - Hey, we can make name tags - if you want. 144 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,198 Seriously? 145 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,366 I'm not really old. 146 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,826 Of course, Mr. Elderman. 147 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,411 - You're only as old - as you feel. 148 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,495 [sighs in exasperation] 149 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,372 Hello! 150 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,874 Who's the liver-spotted 151 00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,334 love machine? 152 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,253 - And where do I - place my order? 153 00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:19,130 [squeals] 154 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,569 Wow! You've got the butt 155 00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:21,966 of a 65-year-old. 156 00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:24,551 Uh-oh. 157 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,638 I'm late for a bingo game. 158 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,515 Why go to bingo 159 00:06:29,516 --> 00:06:31,350 when your prize 160 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:31,350 is right here? 161 00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:35,813 Ah! Old love. 162 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,374 - [Mr. Elderman] - Out of my way, youngster! 163 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,556 Bet you're all pretty unhappy 164 00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:50,161 to see me again. 165 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,767 Instead of your usual fun, 166 00:06:51,768 --> 00:06:53,331 hip, super-awesome teacher. 167 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:57,251 - Actually, I'm glad - you're back. 168 00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:58,294 You seemed kind of 169 00:06:58,295 --> 00:06:59,295 crabby yesterday, 170 00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:00,546 so I brought you 171 00:07:00,547 --> 00:07:01,755 some stewed prunes. 172 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:02,840 No one's happy 173 00:07:02,841 --> 00:07:03,882 unless they're regular. 174 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,180 Well, this will make you happy. 175 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,342 - We wanted to show you - our plastic bottle projects. 176 00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:17,479 I made a pair of shorts. 177 00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:25,530 I made a self-contained 178 00:07:25,531 --> 00:07:26,864 hydroponic farm, 179 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,032 capable of feeding a family 180 00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,158 for a month. 181 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,161 Why would you bother 182 00:07:32,162 --> 00:07:33,453 feeding your family? 183 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,956 - They're just going to move away - and live their fancy lives 184 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,458 And never call you. 185 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,441 Unless they need you 186 00:07:40,442 --> 00:07:42,380 to baby-sit when they go on 187 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:42,380 a romantic getaway to Cabo. 188 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,756 Mr. Elderman, check this out. 189 00:07:43,757 --> 00:07:45,090 I made a jet-pack. 190 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,259 Derby, there's a reason 191 00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:47,385 jet-packs aren't viable. 192 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:48,528 The weight of the fuel alone... 193 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,137 - I used metastable - metallic hydrogen. 194 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,620 I thought its existence 195 00:07:53,621 --> 00:07:54,975 was still only theoretical. 196 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,394 - I know a guy - who knows a guy. 197 00:07:58,062 --> 00:07:59,521 Anyway... 198 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,843 - I'll need more room - to demonstrate. - I'll be outside. 199 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,278 Wow. 200 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,717 You've really motivated 201 00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,114 your students. 202 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,575 I just yell at 'em, 203 00:08:10,576 --> 00:08:11,992 let 'em know I'm disappointed! 204 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,204 They hate me. 205 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:17,081 Ah, they hate me too, 206 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,874 and not just a mild hate, 207 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,918 a blinding, intense hatred, 208 00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:22,920 with just a soupcon 209 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:22,920 of revulsion. 210 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,757 - It means you're doing - a great job. 211 00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,801 It does? 212 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,636 - Something's got to - fuel their fires. 213 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,431 Hate's a great fuel. 214 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,682 - Metastable metallic hydrogen - is also good. 215 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,436 Theoretically. 216 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:41,376 Anyway, I'm sure 217 00:08:41,377 --> 00:08:42,647 this will be my last day. 218 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:44,796 I bet Mr. Young 219 00:08:44,797 --> 00:08:45,817 will be back tomorrow. 220 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,946 Who? Oh! Yeah... Uh... 221 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,302 I should go 222 00:08:50,303 --> 00:08:51,615 drop by his house, 223 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,615 see how he's doing. 224 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:52,656 Now? 225 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,016 It's not like I'm doing 226 00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:57,037 anything around here. 227 00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:00,249 - Keep up the good work, - Mr. E! 228 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,169 Uh-oh... I really have to go. 229 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,255 Yes! Those prunes 230 00:09:05,256 --> 00:09:06,297 are working. 231 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,383 I mean, I need to take off. 232 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,885 [jetpack engine running] 233 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,527 - Normally, I'd give you a lift, - but it's really windy out here. 234 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:18,558 Whoa. Whoa! 235 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,185 - -[crashing] - -[cat yowling] 236 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,441 - What's your hurry... - Murray? 237 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,733 [screams] 238 00:09:27,485 --> 00:09:29,111 Mrs. Byrne. 239 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,029 - Please don't - call me "missus." 240 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,073 That makes me feel old. 241 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,159 That was the clincher? 242 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,371 Why don't you call me... 243 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,873 Yes? 244 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,395 - I'm saying, - why don't you call me? 245 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,295 You could buy me dinner, 246 00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:47,338 and I'll supply 247 00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:48,339 the dessert. 248 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,882 I'm sorry, but I don't 249 00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:51,383 have a sweet tooth. 250 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,218 - In fact, - I don't have any teeth. 251 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,307 [knocking on door] 252 00:09:58,349 --> 00:10:00,225 - [George] Mr. Young? - It's Principal Tater. 253 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,267 [Adam] Oh, no. 254 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,146 [dishes shattering] 255 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,567 Huh. It's harder than it looks. 256 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,423 - [George] Is everything - okay in there? 257 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:14,906 Just a minute. 258 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,200 [bowl bouncing] 259 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:19,578 Come in. 260 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,956 Mr. Young? 261 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,356 -How are you? 262 00:10:26,357 --> 00:10:27,627 -Still a little stuffy. Just... 263 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,005 Good to hear it! 264 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,569 Mr. Young... 265 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:33,091 I've been thinking about 266 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:33,091 your place at Finnegan high. 267 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,759 - -Oh? - -You no longer have one. 268 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,220 - -You're fired. - -What? 269 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,784 [slowly] Fired. 270 00:10:38,785 --> 00:10:39,931 As in "terminated." 271 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:41,975 [chuckles] 272 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,643 - Guess that makes me - the "Terminator." 273 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,938 - [mimicking Arnold - Schwarzenegger] I'll be back. 274 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,991 - But not really. - Why would I? You're fired. 275 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,242 I'm fired? 276 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,828 [shrieks] 277 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,247 Stay back! 278 00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,623 I don't want to catch 279 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,623 your skin-melting disease. 280 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,334 How can you fire me? 281 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,190 Easy. I found someone 282 00:11:09,191 --> 00:11:11,004 who can do your job 283 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:11,004 better than you. 284 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,506 You should see your students. 285 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:14,007 Ha! Paying attention, 286 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,863 a respectful loathing 287 00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:17,677 in their eyes. 288 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,054 Principal Tater, 289 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:20,389 you've got to give me 290 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,389 a chance to prove myself. 291 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:21,848 Why? 292 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,767 - Because I'm - the better teacher. 293 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,874 And like you say, 294 00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:27,938 "Excellence always wins out." 295 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,232 - "Excellence always wins out"? - I never say that. 296 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,109 You just did. 297 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,592 I did say it. 298 00:11:35,593 --> 00:11:37,531 "Excellence always wins out." 299 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,574 I say it a lot! 300 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,307 In that case you 301 00:11:42,308 --> 00:11:44,204 and Mr. Elderman, 302 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:44,204 a teaching contest. 303 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,956 Whoever wins, gets the job. 304 00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,791 A contest. 305 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,252 You mean face-to-face? 306 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,713 That's right. 307 00:11:51,714 --> 00:11:53,130 A face-to-face face-off. 308 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,304 You've even got a head start. 309 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,475 Derby! 310 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,560 Oh, Adam, I'm so glad 311 00:12:05,561 --> 00:12:06,602 to see you. 312 00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:07,645 Can you help me 313 00:12:07,646 --> 00:12:08,646 with my project 314 00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,646 for Mr. Elderman? 315 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,106 Derby, don't you get it? 316 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,232 You stole his cane? 317 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,944 Mr. Elderman wears a toupee? 318 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,447 No! This is mine. 319 00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:19,739 You wear a toupee? 320 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,950 Derby, listen to me. 321 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,933 "Bet you're all pretty 322 00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:26,455 unhappy to see me again!" 323 00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:27,727 That's a terrible 324 00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:28,957 Mr. Elderman impersonation. 325 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,751 It's more like this... 326 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,608 "Clean out your noggin-flaps, 327 00:12:33,609 --> 00:12:35,422 you young rapscallions." 328 00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,424 That's pretty good. 329 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,093 You know... I can't be 330 00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:40,719 two people at the same time, 331 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,929 but you could help me out. 332 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,407 - All it would take - is a little makeup... 333 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,454 Oh. I know exactly 334 00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:46,475 what you have in mind. 335 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,005 Next time when you say, 336 00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:56,652 "I know exactly 337 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:56,652 what you have in mind," 338 00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:57,736 I'm gonna play it safe 339 00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:58,778 and tell you anyway. 340 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,120 - This hair, doesn't it - make you just wanna... 341 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,037 - It's still in - my line of vision. 342 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,079 How do you stand it? 343 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,093 Welcome to the teacher 344 00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:22,636 face-to-face face-off! 345 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,724 [applause ceases] 346 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,266 Our first competitor... 347 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,415 He's inexperienced, 348 00:13:30,416 --> 00:13:32,521 inept and in over his head, 349 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,898 Mr. Young! 350 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,149 [Echo] Whoo! 351 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,071 Ooh, yeah! Ha-ha! 352 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,532 Boo! Boo! 353 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,576 Now, put your hands together 354 00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:48,119 for the inevitable champion. 355 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,497 He's old, he's wise, 356 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:51,998 he's regular... 357 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,545 Mr. Elderman! 358 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,880 That's my cue. 359 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,883 There you are! 360 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,698 I realized the other day 361 00:14:03,699 --> 00:14:05,470 that I came across 362 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:05,470 as a "Bouncy Betty." 363 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,725 Can you be a "Clear Clara"? 364 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,767 - Because I don't know - what you're talking about. 365 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,104 I'm asking you 366 00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:15,480 to ask me to marry you. 367 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,315 - -Marry you? - -I accept! 368 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,776 What? 369 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:19,944 We'll honeymoon 370 00:14:19,945 --> 00:14:21,069 in Niagara falls, 371 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,696 - though we'll barely - leave the room. 372 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,864 What? 373 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,825 - Then a quick trip - to my lawyer, 374 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,306 So I can make you 375 00:14:28,307 --> 00:14:29,745 sole beneficiary in my will. 376 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,330 What are we waitin' for? 377 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:35,417 - Let's get you - to a chapel, gorgeous. 378 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,378 Oh, there you are, 379 00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:39,504 Mr. Elderman. 380 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,339 [groans] 381 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,679 Okay. Round one. 382 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,306 Spot The Cheater. 383 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,537 Three of these students 384 00:14:50,538 --> 00:14:51,725 are cheating on their exam. 385 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,477 - -You will each... - -Her, him and her. 386 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,603 What? 387 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,857 - Answers in her - mechanical pencil. 388 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,278 Number seven is wrong. 389 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,429 Answers in invisible ink 390 00:15:07,430 --> 00:15:08,450 on his arm. 391 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,288 Number seven is right. 392 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:14,330 All the rest are wrong. 393 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,501 And she hired someone 394 00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:18,794 to do the test for her. 395 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,509 Incredible. 396 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,469 - Round one goes to - Mr. Elderman! 397 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,642 Derby. What're you doing? 398 00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:35,101 You're supposed to lose! 399 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,207 Relax. You've got to give 400 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:37,270 the people a show, 401 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,313 or they'll know 402 00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:39,314 the fix is in. 403 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,399 It's best of three. 404 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:41,441 I'll let you win 405 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:41,441 the next two. 406 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,903 Okay, round two. 407 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,905 Emotional Awareness. 408 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,991 A good educator 409 00:15:48,992 --> 00:15:51,034 needs to understand 410 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:51,034 a student's frail psyche. 411 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,410 And how to exploit it. 412 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,186 So, let's see who can 413 00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:58,041 make a child cry the fastest. 414 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,171 - Why are you dressed - like that? 415 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,464 I'm the child. 416 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,570 I didn't want this round 417 00:16:05,571 --> 00:16:06,633 to be too easy. 418 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,552 And I am the toughest, 419 00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:10,428 thickest-skinned, 420 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:10,428 most unemotional... 421 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,388 Cinnamon. 422 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,097 [sobbing] 423 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,477 - Why would that - make you cry? 424 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,479 [weeping] 425 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,440 Ath if. 426 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818 It'th totally a myth 427 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,529 that you can't thwallow 428 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:28,196 a teathpoon of thinnamon. 429 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,243 [children laughing] 430 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,953 I don't ever want to hear 431 00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:36,621 the word thinnamon again! 432 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,460 [whimpering] 433 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,461 Cinnamon? 434 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,713 [sobbing] 435 00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:45,630 Cinnamon? 436 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,592 [wails] 437 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,365 Thtop thaying that. 438 00:16:50,366 --> 00:16:52,095 Theriously! 439 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:52,095 It'th tho thadithtic. 440 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,703 Round two goes 441 00:16:54,704 --> 00:16:55,724 to Mr. Elderman. 442 00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:56,934 [exhales] 443 00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,227 Cin-na-mon. 444 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,108 What was that? 445 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,339 Sorry. I'm very 446 00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,527 competitive. 447 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:08,675 Besides, how would it look 448 00:17:08,676 --> 00:17:09,780 if I lost to a kid? 449 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:14,701 Everyone meet your new, 450 00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:16,995 permanent science teacher, 451 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,995 Mr. Elderman! 452 00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,124 - Mr. Elderman - can't be the teacher. 453 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,126 Why not? He beat you. 454 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,836 And as I'm fond of saying, 455 00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:26,504 excellence always wins out. 456 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,821 But he's not going to be 457 00:17:29,822 --> 00:17:30,926 around much longer. 458 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,552 I've got nowhere to be. 459 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,971 Oh, sure you do. 460 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,118 Mr. Elderman is headed 461 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:36,222 to a better place. 462 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,516 Private school? 463 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,581 Your heart 464 00:17:39,582 --> 00:17:40,602 is clearly failing. 465 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,937 All the signs are there! 466 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,062 Pain in your left arm. 467 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,648 - I don't have pain - in my left arm. 468 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,065 Ow. My left arm! 469 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,986 Shortness of breath. 470 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,153 I can breathe just... 471 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,863 [gasps and cries out] 472 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,365 And, finally, confusion. 473 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,452 I'm not confused. 474 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:58,933 People who are confused 475 00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:00,371 confuse their confusion 476 00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,371 for lack of confusion. 477 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,335 Okay, now I'm confused! 478 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,920 I need to sit down. 479 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:07,985 Just close your eyes 480 00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,006 and drift off 481 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:09,006 to the netherworld. 482 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,507 Really, I feel fine. 483 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,738 Mitosis is the process 484 00:18:11,739 --> 00:18:12,926 by which a eukaryotic cell... 485 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:13,969 [starts snoring] 486 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,848 He's with the angels now. 487 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,518 [snoring continues] 488 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:23,603 Is he snoring? 489 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,293 No. That's just 490 00:18:25,294 --> 00:18:26,940 the final escape 491 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:26,940 of his bodily gases. 492 00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,358 We will miss him. 493 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,302 And the winner 494 00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:36,533 of the teacher competition, 495 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:36,533 by default, Adam Young! 496 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,994 Yeah! Adam Young! 497 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,287 [cackling victoriously] 498 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,919 [funeral music plays] 499 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,840 Thank you all for coming today 500 00:18:51,841 --> 00:18:54,133 on this sad, tragic, 501 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,594 heartbreaking, upsetting, 502 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,681 gloomy, wretched occasion. 503 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,268 - There, there, - Mrs. Byrne. 504 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,688 This can't be 505 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:07,064 the first man 506 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,064 you've buried. 507 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,357 But I'll never forget 508 00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:09,607 Mr. Elderman. 509 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,026 [sobs] 510 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,151 Where am I? 511 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,448 Why am I dressed in black? 512 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,869 What lovely flowers. 513 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:23,955 [sniffing] 514 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,183 - [George] We hardly knew - Mr. Elderman, 515 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:29,252 And, as you can see, 516 00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:30,294 we didn't even have 517 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,294 a photograph, 518 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,483 So, I'd like to thank 519 00:19:31,484 --> 00:19:32,630 Mrs. Morris, 520 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,195 head of the art department, 521 00:19:34,196 --> 00:19:35,717 for this portrait. 522 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,118 Before we conclude 523 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:41,431 this service, 524 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,474 would anyone like to say 525 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,476 something about the dear, 526 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:45,476 departed Mr. Elderman? 527 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,687 I would! 528 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,272 [angelic theme plays] 529 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,862 Before I board 530 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,196 the big yellow bus 531 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,406 to the highest school 532 00:19:58,407 --> 00:19:59,574 in the district... 533 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,329 - I want to leave you - with this. 534 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,792 You should listen to Mr. Young. 535 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,835 He cares about you. 536 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:11,878 Respect him. 537 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:13,755 Do your work. 538 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,069 And, for the love 539 00:20:15,070 --> 00:20:16,340 of stewed prunes, 540 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,926 don't give him any guff. 541 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,660 Giant bird version 542 00:20:22,661 --> 00:20:23,848 of Mr. Elderman is right. 543 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,186 - We should be nicer - to Mr. Young. 544 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,898 He's an... okay guy. 545 00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:37,695 If he's such a great guy, 546 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,738 then why isn't he here 547 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:39,739 to pay his respects? 548 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,366 [students] Yeah! 549 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,660 I'm sure he's busy 550 00:20:43,661 --> 00:20:44,911 preparing your next lesson. 551 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,204 Like the good teacher he is. 552 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,915 - Well, let's call - and find out. 553 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,337 [cell phone ringing] 554 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,196 That must be the bus driver 555 00:20:58,197 --> 00:20:59,467 to the afterlife. 556 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,638 That reminds me, 557 00:21:02,639 --> 00:21:04,014 I should cancel 558 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,014 my cell phone. 559 00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:05,974 - The roaming charges - will be the death of me. 560 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,310 See ya. 561 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,274 Adam's not answering. 562 00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:17,276 What's his game? 563 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,030 I know where he lives. 564 00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,156 Let's get 'im! 565 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,282 Wait. Wait. Wait. 566 00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,367 We can't just go charging 567 00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,409 over to Mr. Young's house. 568 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,911 It's going to be dark soon! 569 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,664 We'll need torches. 570 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,748 Yeah! 571 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,128 [theme music playing] 572 00:21:35,178 --> 00:21:39,728 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35191

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