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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:15,875 Aah! No! No! 2 00:01:15,908 --> 00:01:18,811 - Thirty seconds. - No! No! I'm not doing this! 3 00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:23,115 Perry! Just breathe with me. Just relax and breathe in... 4 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,617 - Ah! - Out. 5 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,153 - Aah! - Good. Good. 6 00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:30,155 You're doing great. 7 00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:32,524 Slow in... 8 00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:35,561 And out. So good. 9 00:01:35,593 --> 00:01:38,263 - Okay. Safe and sound. - Ah! 10 00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,198 Fifteen seconds. 11 00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:41,834 - No! I can't do this! I won't! - Relax and breathe! 12 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,904 I'm not relaxing. And I'm not jumping! 13 00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:46,771 - You promised me. - On the ground! 14 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:48,574 I promised you on the ground! 15 00:01:48,606 --> 00:01:52,310 - You promised me in the bed. - Which is on the ground! 16 00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,312 - Trust me! - Ah! 17 00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:55,381 You're gonna love it! 18 00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:56,516 It's now or never! 19 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,850 It's never! 20 00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,317 It's now! 21 00:02:05,323 --> 00:02:07,359 I'm coming! 22 00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,661 I'm getting closer! 23 00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:12,899 Perry! Perry, I'm coming! 24 00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,903 I've got you! 25 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,672 Relax! 26 00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:22,775 Relax?! Ten miles up in the air. Are you crazy? 27 00:02:22,807 --> 00:02:24,644 - But I know... - But nothing! 28 00:02:24,676 --> 00:02:27,479 You're insane and I'm insane for being with you! 29 00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,481 - Okay. What are you saying? - I'm saying, 30 00:02:29,514 --> 00:02:31,516 that if by some miracle I'm not a pancake 31 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,587 in the next thirty seconds, we're done! 32 00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,254 Wait, are you breaking up with me? 33 00:02:36,288 --> 00:02:37,856 Yes, you freakin' maniac! 34 00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:40,759 Fine! Pull your ripcord, then. 35 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,361 With pleasure! 36 00:02:43,628 --> 00:02:45,164 Goodbye! 37 00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:49,769 Help me, Jessie! Help me! 38 00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:51,469 I got you, let me flip it. 39 00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:55,507 All right, hold on! 40 00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,450 I love you, forever. 41 00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:06,852 This is my perfect moment. 42 00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,521 My man, my love. 43 00:03:09,555 --> 00:03:12,258 - My ass! - I just saved you 44 00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:13,960 and you're still breaking up with me, 45 00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:15,760 it is not a good time. 46 00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:17,763 Who cares, you psycho! 47 00:03:17,795 --> 00:03:19,731 This was supposed to be an adventure! 48 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,800 Just get me to the ground as fast as possible 49 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,468 so I can be done with you! 50 00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:24,837 - Really? - Really! 51 00:03:26,604 --> 00:03:27,572 Okay. 52 00:03:27,605 --> 00:03:30,909 Ah! You crazy bitch! 53 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:34,713 Ah! 54 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,450 Ugh! 55 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,418 Look out! 56 00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:42,687 I'm so sorry! Watch out! 57 00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:43,923 Oh, crap! 58 00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:54,633 Oh! 59 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,436 Everybody good? 60 00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,838 I'm so sorry! I know how you must feel. 61 00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,541 I work on weddings sometimes. 62 00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:04,609 Get out of here! 63 00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:06,444 It's a beautiful wedding. 64 00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:08,948 I would love to get that dress cleaned for you! 65 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:11,283 Get outta here! 66 00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:17,423 You've ruined my wedding! 67 00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:20,293 For God's sake, who are you? 68 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,831 Take this and go! Go! 69 00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,400 Get outta here! 70 00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,302 ♪ There goes the bride ♪ 71 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:33,372 ♪ Dressed in muddy white ♪ 72 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,373 Wedding trasher! 73 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,344 Get out of here! 74 00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:40,745 Wedding trasher! 75 00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:41,713 You ruined this for me! 76 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,624 ♪ You think that we could be ♪ 77 00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:54,926 ♪ Perfect in love ♪ 78 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:59,798 ♪ If you do you're utterly, Totally, perfectly wrong ♪ 79 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,737 ♪ Love is perfect Love is pure ♪ 80 00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,906 ♪ We screw it up That's for sure ♪ 81 00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,876 ♪ Don't blame love ♪ 82 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,112 ♪ The blame is on us... ♪ 83 00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:16,882 Okay, folks. The moment you've all been waiting for! 84 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:20,386 The historical, hysterical, completely inaccurate 85 00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:21,586 Captain Ritchie Duck Tour! 86 00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,055 Listen, it's gonna be a blast. 87 00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:24,490 And if you don't have fun, 88 00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,359 tough beans, because you already paid, 89 00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:28,026 and it's impossible to get a refund. 90 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,129 High five! Boom! Pound it out. 91 00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,063 - Boom! There you go. - Look out. 92 00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,733 Wait a minute! 93 00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:37,737 I did not know the Miss America pageant was in town. 94 00:05:37,769 --> 00:05:40,072 - You're fresh. - Thank you for noticing. 95 00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:42,007 The secret to that is showering monthly, 96 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,643 exercising never, and drinking a bunch. 97 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,444 Wow, it's working. 98 00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,980 Though, you may wanna revisit that shower schedule. 99 00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,516 Like what, once every two months? 100 00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:51,816 That's what I was thinking. 101 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,486 Like the water conservation thing. 102 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,954 - Yeah. - You're nasty. I like it. 103 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,857 Glass slipper. 104 00:05:57,889 --> 00:05:59,724 Cinderella's my favorite character. 105 00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:02,661 - Where's the other one? - Prince Charming has it. 106 00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:04,830 And where is he? 107 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:06,699 Hmm, that's the question, isn't it? 108 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:10,136 Uh! Make room for Cinderella 109 00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,504 and her not ugly stepsisters! 110 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,173 Come on in. 111 00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,040 Dressed for the cause, I like the suit. 112 00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:17,910 Oh, and the purple brings out your eyes. 113 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,913 ♪ Don't blame love ♪ 114 00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,149 ♪ Don't blame love ♪ 115 00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,586 ♪ Blame us. ♪ 116 00:06:55,613 --> 00:06:57,015 - Gah! - Oh! Ooh! 117 00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,084 Oh, God, sorry. Are you okay? 118 00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:01,020 What do you think you're doing? 119 00:07:01,052 --> 00:07:02,687 I'm so sorry, that was totally my fault. 120 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,023 Bloody scooters! 121 00:07:04,055 --> 00:07:05,723 Are you Lawrence Phillips? 122 00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,059 Yes, I am. 123 00:07:07,091 --> 00:07:09,127 I've had your food at a wedding. 124 00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:10,829 - Oh, good. - It was incredible. 125 00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,163 Yeah, I'm glad you survived. 126 00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,732 I want you to cater my wedding. I... 127 00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,634 No, I'm booked years in advance. 128 00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:17,702 Oh, no, I mean, I'm not even engaged. It's okay. 129 00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,471 My last boyfriend dropped me. 130 00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:21,105 I dropped him, actually, into a lake. 131 00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:22,708 Into a lake? 132 00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,976 So, I got off, relatively lightly, this morning. 133 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,480 I am sorry. It was really nice to meet you. 134 00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:29,781 I could say, it was fun bumping into you, 135 00:07:29,814 --> 00:07:31,250 but I'd be stretching the truth. 136 00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,985 Have a great day. 137 00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,021 Oh, God. 138 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,865 Hi. Sorry, I'm a fraction late. 139 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,600 I literally ran into Lawrence Phillips, 140 00:07:47,632 --> 00:07:48,733 who's just so... 141 00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:50,034 - Uptight? - Precise. 142 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,637 - Crabby and anal. - A perfectionist. 143 00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,872 An OCD pain in the ass. 144 00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,606 The best in the city. 145 00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,075 I guess, I was thinking more like famous. 146 00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,077 I'm the groom. Hi, I'm Robert. 147 00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:02,113 And our next mayor. Jessie English. 148 00:08:02,146 --> 00:08:05,149 It's an honor. I mailed my ballot in yesterday, 149 00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,118 so, you're winning, one to nothing. 150 00:08:07,151 --> 00:08:09,587 Well, if you've voted for me, then I'm voting for me. 151 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,757 I'm Liz. I'm the bride. And this is Lucifer. 152 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:16,228 Bev. Robert's campaign manager. And we are on a schedule. 153 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,963 I'm Jimmy, the not famous Barton. 154 00:08:17,995 --> 00:08:19,264 The black sheep Barton. 155 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,600 - Nice to meet you, too. - You, too. 156 00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:23,735 I'm late for an important date, so, I'm gone. 157 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,704 Thank you, again, for the best man thing. 158 00:08:25,737 --> 00:08:27,973 - It means a lot. - Absolu... 159 00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:30,709 - Leave. - I won't let you down. 160 00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:33,812 Oh! 161 00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,247 - Sorry about that. - Go-go-go-go. 162 00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:37,048 - I got it. - Thank you. Thank you. 163 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,019 - My brother. - At least we know 164 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,921 - you're gonna win. - How? 165 00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:44,556 Every successful politician has that train-wreck brother. 166 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,925 Do you have anything nice to say about anyone? 167 00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,326 - Yes. - Who? 168 00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:49,061 - Me. I think I'm terrific. - Right. 169 00:08:49,094 --> 00:08:50,729 I got a call about a wedding... 170 00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,697 Robert, this is the girl who planned the wedding 171 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,165 - that Diane raved about. - Oh! 172 00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:56,168 Oh, you mean, my cousin, Tina's wedding. 173 00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,202 I didn't plan, plan that. I just did it as a favor. 174 00:08:58,235 --> 00:09:00,172 Okay, well, I saw the photos and it was beautiful. 175 00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:04,076 Thanks. So, I'm here about the florist job? 176 00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:05,677 Ah, no, you're not. 177 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,278 So, we have a florist. We need a planner. 178 00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:08,781 And the wedding is in eight days. 179 00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,214 Sorry, eight days? 180 00:09:10,248 --> 00:09:12,217 Amazing. Are you pregnant? 181 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,153 No, no, we've had this scheduled for a year. 182 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:15,754 - We've just had some... - Firings. 183 00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,221 - Yeah, and some... - Quittings. 184 00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,258 - Disagreements. - Fifth time's a charm. 185 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,126 I would be the fifth? 186 00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:23,962 We have a few different points of view about the wedding. 187 00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:26,230 Hey, this should be simple. You two love each other, right? 188 00:09:26,264 --> 00:09:28,233 Yes. 189 00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:30,168 So, what's the problem? 190 00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:32,004 What's your favorite kind of music? 191 00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:33,605 I love classical. 192 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:34,974 Lovely, so Mozart's "Wedding March." 193 00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:36,375 I'm rock and roll. 194 00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:38,043 Queen. "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." 195 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,379 - I want it traditional. - Classic, elegant. 196 00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:42,748 And I want it short. Just, like, bullshit, bullshit. 197 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,349 I do. I do. Let's just get to the party. 198 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,219 Rad. So, young, fresh, modern... 199 00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:49,921 So, completely un-newsworthy. 200 00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,724 You have to think of press and TV. 201 00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:54,626 No offense, but zero percent of my friends 202 00:09:54,659 --> 00:09:56,828 read the society pages or watch the local news. 203 00:09:56,861 --> 00:10:00,131 But if your candidate could throw a knockout party, 204 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,867 it will be Instagrammed, texted, tweeted, 205 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,702 YouTube'ed, TikTok'ed. 206 00:10:04,735 --> 00:10:07,673 Robert Barton is... He's cool. He's relatable. 207 00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:09,774 - Robert, what do you think? - I think you should 208 00:10:09,807 --> 00:10:11,777 - go with Lawrence. - And you're not Robert. 209 00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,112 Wait, Lawrence Phillips wants to do it? 210 00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:17,015 Hey, as much as I would love to have this job, get him. 211 00:10:17,048 --> 00:10:19,283 - I'll bus the tables. - I just... I don't feel like... 212 00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:21,787 - What was your name again? - Jessie English. 213 00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:23,389 Oh, I'll be right back. Excuse me. 214 00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,224 Don't I recognize you from somewhere? 215 00:10:25,256 --> 00:10:26,991 Uh, maybe. 216 00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,427 You're the Wedding Trasher, aren't you? 217 00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:32,163 - Yep. - You were with that anchorman. 218 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:35,967 Yeah. I ruined that, and somebody's wedding. 219 00:10:36,999 --> 00:10:37,669 Thank you for coming, you're out. 220 00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:40,105 Well, thank you. Thanks for the time. 221 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,441 Now we're off to a meeting with the lobster guild. 222 00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,777 Okay. So, can you start right now? 223 00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:46,310 You really want her? 224 00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:48,147 We're in trouble. Okay? 225 00:10:48,179 --> 00:10:49,747 I mean, Diane said she's great. 226 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,750 She's here. She has a pulse. 227 00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:52,884 Yeah, I want her. 228 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,452 Fine. You're hired. 229 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,154 Don't worry, I won't hold it against you. 230 00:10:56,187 --> 00:10:57,288 - Thank you. - Hold what? 231 00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,091 - Nothing. - Not nothing. 232 00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:01,826 - Welcome aboard. - You won't regret this. 233 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,428 Let's hope not. 234 00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:05,230 - Amazing. - I know, it's gonna be great. 235 00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,199 So, come on, we have, like, a thousand things to do. 236 00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,333 Yes, tell me everything. 237 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,239 As there will be extensive press coverage, 238 00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,108 TV, print, and the Internet, 239 00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,110 everyone will arrive in limos. 240 00:11:18,143 --> 00:11:20,479 I'm an environmentalist. I hate this limo crap. 241 00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,113 Is that other one yours? 242 00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,350 - Yep. - Tell him to take the day off. 243 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,719 Hey! 244 00:11:32,857 --> 00:11:35,426 - Zero emissions. - Very nice. 245 00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,963 - Gainsborough Street, please. - Whoa. A celebrity. 246 00:11:37,995 --> 00:11:40,031 - Ha, ha, very funny. - Wedding trasher. 247 00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:42,000 - Okay. We gotta go. - Do me a favor? 248 00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,936 Just sit still and try not to trash my cab. 249 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,403 What is he saying? 250 00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:47,038 He thinks I'm some kind of famous person. 251 00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,841 It's so much easier if I just say yes. 252 00:11:51,909 --> 00:11:53,745 All right. So, 253 00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,447 this how we're gonna do it on the duck tour. 254 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,149 We're gonna do a little thing called the quack quack. 255 00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,917 Now, my command is, "What'd it do?" 256 00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,886 And after I say, "What'd it do?" You say... 257 00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:01,886 Quack, quack! 258 00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,354 There we go. High five. 259 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:04,956 All right. What'd it do? 260 00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,325 Quack, quack. 261 00:12:06,357 --> 00:12:07,825 Just Cinderella... What'd it do? 262 00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:10,095 - Quack, quack. - Ooh, nice. 263 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,902 The very first lighthouse was built in 1717, 264 00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:18,369 in the Boston Harbor, 265 00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:21,038 making it the oldest erection in the nation. 266 00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:23,408 That is, if you don't count Larry King. 267 00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:27,011 Boom! Nailed it! 268 00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,093 Hmm. 269 00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,098 - Randall? - Yes, sir? 270 00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,132 Measure. 271 00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,074 Eleven and a half. 272 00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:57,842 - Who? - Juan. 273 00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,010 Juan? 274 00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:02,815 Yes, sir? 275 00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:03,848 Eleven and a half. 276 00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:05,416 - No. I... - Yes. 277 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,052 And it's not as if you've slightly missed 278 00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:08,353 by a 32nd or even a 16th, 279 00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:10,021 but a full half inch. 280 00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:11,556 I could see it the moment I came in. 281 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:15,060 The entire room was out of balance. 282 00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:17,929 You're off crystal. 283 00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:21,265 Re-measure all his tables and put him on salads. 284 00:13:21,298 --> 00:13:23,235 Half an inch, God! 285 00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:26,104 Lawrence! 286 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,572 What are you two doing here? 287 00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,107 - Saying hi. - This is gorgeous. 288 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,543 Yes, well, gorgeous is what we do, 289 00:13:31,576 --> 00:13:33,010 but I'm right in the middle... 290 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,178 Of an unhappy life? 291 00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:35,514 We were in the neighborhood 292 00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,249 and wanted to say hi to the genius. 293 00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:39,251 Well, yes, hi and goodbye. 294 00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:41,220 You don't have a moment for your best friends? 295 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,287 Not right now. 296 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,589 Looks pretty good. 297 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,990 "Pretty good" could get you fired. 298 00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,391 Oh, well, I meant... 299 00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:48,526 I frankly don't care what you meant. 300 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,429 The centerpiece table is the signature creation 301 00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,097 of every Lawrence Phillips event. 302 00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:56,869 And "pretty good" is not in our lexicon. 303 00:13:56,902 --> 00:14:00,072 We start at perfect and we ascend from there. 304 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,106 Gonna run one thing by you, and we're gone. 305 00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,908 You haven't had a date since Beth died. 306 00:14:03,942 --> 00:14:05,376 - Five years ago. - You're miserable. 307 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,178 - And lonely. - Yes. Thank you, 308 00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:10,148 Dr. and Mrs. Phil, but in six hours' time, 309 00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:11,583 I have 500 people descending on... 310 00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,451 - We fixed a lunch for you. - What? 311 00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:14,552 A blind date. 312 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,923 Steve, this is not the right moment. 313 00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:19,925 It's never the right moment with you. 314 00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:22,293 So, we thought we'd surprise you with a dating intervention. 315 00:14:22,326 --> 00:14:23,629 - Ugh! - She's age appropriate, 316 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,430 - charming and beautiful. - Oh, stop it. 317 00:14:25,462 --> 00:14:26,998 This is not funny. 318 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,167 I would never dream of going on a blind date. 319 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,336 I hate surprises of any kind. 320 00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:33,939 - That's too bad. - Why? 321 00:14:33,971 --> 00:14:36,307 Because your blind date is right now. 322 00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:39,344 - Sara! - No. No, no. 323 00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:40,378 Okay. 324 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,383 Adios. 325 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,318 - No, look... I can't! - Good luck! 326 00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:49,955 Ah! Ah! 327 00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:53,091 Oh! Oh, dear. I... 328 00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:56,928 - Are you completely... - Blind? Yes. 329 00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:58,663 Yes, oh, dear. Completely. 330 00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:02,301 I just, I don't know. I mean, I came here 331 00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,201 to meet a Lawrence, but instead I... 332 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,605 - Yes, I'm Lawrence. - Oh. 333 00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,473 Oh, my dear own God. So... 334 00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:12,510 You're my date. I'm Sara. 335 00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:14,712 Lawrence Phillips. 336 00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:16,648 Did they not tell you about me? 337 00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:18,550 They mentioned a blind date. 338 00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:21,086 Well, I think the politically correct term 339 00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:23,555 is "visually impaired" date. 340 00:15:23,587 --> 00:15:26,257 - Sorry. - So, is lunch still on? 341 00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:29,194 I do apologize, but I'm under savage pressure here today. 342 00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:31,129 - But I promise, we will... - Oh, yeah. 343 00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:33,632 ...lunch in the future under slightly less... 344 00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,299 hectic circumstances. 345 00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,702 Now, if I may escort you out? 346 00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,337 - Oh, yeah, okay. - Ah! 347 00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:41,673 Be careful now. Easy, Teddy, easy. 348 00:15:41,706 --> 00:15:43,475 That-a boy. 349 00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:46,445 He can't be any worse at aiming me than you are. 350 00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:47,745 Hah! 351 00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:49,648 Your laugh has something about it. 352 00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:51,283 It sounds rusty. 353 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:52,718 How do you mean? 354 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,519 It sounds like you don't do it enough. 355 00:15:54,552 --> 00:15:56,288 - Ah, well... - Is that it? 356 00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,623 Oh, we're fine. 357 00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:02,026 Oh, thank you, so much. Thank you. 358 00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:03,761 There's a taxi for you. 359 00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,129 No, really, I'm fine. 360 00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,099 - No. I insist. - Seriously. 361 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:09,734 It's no problem at all. 362 00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:13,404 Well, I apologize. It's just, you catch me at a busy time. 363 00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:15,573 Are you handsome? 364 00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,141 No, I'm ancient. 365 00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:20,144 What time are you done tonight? 366 00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:22,147 Oh, very late. About eleven. 367 00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:25,416 Oh, that's not late. That's early, here. 368 00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,451 We could have a drink, or something. 369 00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:29,620 It's in Braille. 370 00:16:29,653 --> 00:16:32,357 It's on the other side here. No, that side. Yes. 371 00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:39,697 I will call you. 372 00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:41,000 I will answer. 373 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:44,068 Did you just wave? 374 00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:45,703 - I did not. - Yes, you did. 375 00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,204 I did. 376 00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:50,275 Oh, that's good. 377 00:16:50,307 --> 00:16:53,245 Oh, my goodness, Teddy. 378 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,754 Calm down! Calm down! 379 00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:05,289 All right, take it easy! 380 00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,826 Let's just try to get through this. 381 00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:10,628 I'm Eddie Stone, and you've accidentally tuned in 382 00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:13,664 to Crash Couples, a so called game show 383 00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:16,301 based on love, relationships, dating, 384 00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:18,836 and a whole bunch of other crap that nobody cares about. 385 00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,339 We have whittled down a thousand contestants 386 00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,809 to these nervous twits who are standing here 387 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,278 wetting themselves. 388 00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:31,215 Tonight, we'll find out who will make up the four couples 389 00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,785 who will compete for one million dollars! 390 00:17:38,556 --> 00:17:41,125 The other twelve losers will... 391 00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:43,662 Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! 392 00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,830 Can I have Nick Matthews? 393 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,799 Yeah! Oh, yeah! 394 00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,803 Nick, nobody wants to see an old guy on TV. 395 00:17:51,836 --> 00:17:53,838 Me, yes. You, no. 396 00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,575 I don't even know how you got this far. You're out. 397 00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,376 Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! 398 00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,778 Let's speed this up. 399 00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:04,248 Taylor, Molly, Howard, Kenny, Elana... 400 00:18:04,281 --> 00:18:06,217 You are out! 401 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,519 Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! 402 00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:09,721 You know the old saying, opposites attract? 403 00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:13,324 BS. I think opposites actually hate each other. 404 00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:15,793 Let's find out. Where is Sharon? 405 00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:18,163 - Ah! - Oh! Whoa! 406 00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:20,531 Does that say Sharon or Shaq? 407 00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:22,534 - Sharon. - All right, fine. 408 00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:25,503 Sharon, your opposite is Verne. 409 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,739 Yeah, Verne! Where's Verne? 410 00:18:27,771 --> 00:18:29,473 Where... Ha! 411 00:18:29,507 --> 00:18:31,676 Oh-ho, Jack and the Beanstalk. 412 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,180 And we have Gianna and Donald. 413 00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,647 Where are you? Oh. 414 00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:39,351 Gianna and... 415 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,452 Hoh, he's got the right to bare arms. 416 00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:44,556 Very nice. Good luck to the two of you. 417 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:47,224 All right, next, Habib and David. 418 00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:51,696 How the heck did we end up with two guys? 419 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,398 Who's in charge of this show? 420 00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:54,833 - You are. - I... What? 421 00:18:54,865 --> 00:18:56,300 I... All right. 422 00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:57,568 Screw it. You guys are together. 423 00:18:57,602 --> 00:18:59,204 See how this works out. 424 00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:01,373 And our last couple 425 00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:05,809 Svetlana, 28 years old, Russian and an attorney 426 00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,711 and a hottie. 427 00:19:07,744 --> 00:19:09,446 - Am I allowed to say, hottie? - No. 428 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,249 You're a hottie. 429 00:19:11,281 --> 00:19:13,350 Whoever gets her is the luckiest guy on the planet. 430 00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:15,452 Dream on, loser. I got this one. 431 00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,557 - Your mate is named... - Jimmy Barton! 432 00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:20,224 - Here he is! - Ha-ha! 433 00:19:20,258 --> 00:19:21,927 Jimmy Barton. 434 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,263 People often say that they're attached to each other. 435 00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:26,865 So, we at Crash Couples thought, 436 00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:30,534 what would happen if they were actually attached? 437 00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,937 Come on! 438 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,208 Lock 'em up! Then, you'll stay together until 439 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,376 you can't take it anymore, for whatever crazy reason. 440 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,214 And when you finally decide to break the link... 441 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,785 Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! 442 00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:48,987 So, Shaq, what do you think? 443 00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:50,588 I'm game. 444 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,291 And you, shorty, how can I help you out? 445 00:19:53,324 --> 00:19:55,460 Take it easy, Eddie, I got this Amazon. 446 00:19:55,492 --> 00:19:57,494 Oh, he's got this Amazon. 447 00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:00,231 Bring me a stepladder and some bungee cords. 448 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,267 There you have it, 449 00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,970 the four couples who will compete for $1 million. 450 00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:08,405 Actually, you know what? 451 00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:10,542 Why don't we stop here and get a coffee real quick? 452 00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:11,776 - Sure. - Yeah. 453 00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,612 Oh look, she didn't trash my cab. 454 00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:15,713 Shut it! Uh, so, 455 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:18,250 I'll need a contact for the florist and the band. 456 00:20:18,282 --> 00:20:20,317 Yes. Florist, yes. We don't have a band yet, 457 00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,887 - but we have to talk about it. - Jessie. Oh, my God! 458 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,425 Wow! Hi. This is my cousin, Tina, who we... 459 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,427 - Oh! - And, and this is Liz. 460 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,630 Wait, hi. I just saw the photos from your wedding 461 00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,931 and it was, like, amazing. 462 00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:34,598 Yeah. Well, that's thanks to Jessie. 463 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,534 Oh, I just helped out, really. 464 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:37,902 Bull. She did the whole thing. 465 00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,703 Yeah. That's what I heard. 466 00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,506 - And now she's planning mine. - That's great! 467 00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,807 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 468 00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:44,541 - Come sit with us. - No, we kind of 469 00:20:44,575 --> 00:20:46,510 - have a scheduled fitting... - No, we're cool. 470 00:20:46,544 --> 00:20:47,946 Yeah, we're good. 471 00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,547 - What was your name? - It's Meg. 472 00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:51,548 Meg, okay. Liz. Nice to meet you, too. 473 00:20:51,582 --> 00:20:53,852 Hey, guys, you want some drinks? 474 00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:55,819 A Margarita Patrón, salt, rocks. 475 00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:58,023 Okay. I'm sorry, are you...? 476 00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,723 Yes. It's me. The wedding trasher. 477 00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,960 We can sit in the back if that's easier for you. 478 00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:06,330 Ah, no, I was just gonna see if you guys wanted some menus. 479 00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,967 - Uh, yeah. Menus would be good. - Okay. 480 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,368 Okay. I've heard "wedding trasher" twice, now. 481 00:21:11,402 --> 00:21:13,438 You're gonna have to forgive my cousin. She's... 482 00:21:13,471 --> 00:21:15,606 - Aggressive? - Mm, more like competitive. 483 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,442 - She's super competitive. - Can't lose. 484 00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:18,909 - To anyone. - Ever. 485 00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:20,511 Which is why she's working on weddings 486 00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,846 instead of getting married herself. 487 00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,548 - Mm-hmm. And... - Makes sense. 488 00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:24,915 - You have to see this. - No-no-no! 489 00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,618 Hold on. 490 00:21:26,651 --> 00:21:28,687 This has over seven and a half million views. 491 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,422 Wait for it. Yeah. 492 00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:33,325 No... 493 00:21:33,357 --> 00:21:35,426 - Oh! - Oh, my! 494 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,694 Wait, is that Perry Blake? 495 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,563 - Mm-hmm. - Yep, right there. 496 00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:41,965 You dropped a Channel Seven news anchorman into a lake? 497 00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,701 Is he gonna sue you? 498 00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:46,603 I'm pretty sure my legal responsibility ended 499 00:21:46,636 --> 00:21:49,073 once I granted his request to return him to the ground 500 00:21:49,106 --> 00:21:51,809 - as soon as possible. - Oh, Jessie! 501 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:55,647 But I am, now and forever, the wedding trasher. 502 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,450 - So, I'm just gonna... - Wait, where are you going? 503 00:22:00,017 --> 00:22:02,086 - I'm just gonna go. - What? 504 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,987 I know you don't need me or my bad press. 505 00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,856 - What are you... - So, I'm gonna make it simple. 506 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,792 No, no, I think that's funny. 507 00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:10,862 Okay, you're an ass-kicker. Just kick ass for me. Just... 508 00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:13,565 I don't know, pretend my wedding is a guy, or something. 509 00:22:13,597 --> 00:22:16,067 I'm serious. Sit down. 510 00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,002 - Seriously, it's gonna be fine. - Welcome back. 511 00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:20,971 In the meantime, let's maybe replay that? 512 00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,440 - Oh, God! - I will pay extra 513 00:22:22,472 --> 00:22:23,674 for you to do that at my wedding. 514 00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:24,843 Do it in slo-mo. 515 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:26,543 All right. So, that ends 516 00:22:26,576 --> 00:22:28,445 this edition of the why book the duck tour, 517 00:22:28,479 --> 00:22:30,548 and drag me along. So now, I get to drag her 518 00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:32,015 to Fenway Park tonight. 519 00:22:33,851 --> 00:22:35,887 - What'd it do? - Quack, quack. 520 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,689 You were doing it great all morning 521 00:22:37,721 --> 00:22:39,490 and now you're messing it up. What'd it do? 522 00:22:39,523 --> 00:22:40,991 - Quack, quack! - Yes! 523 00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:44,729 Okay. Everyone get off. Leave, it's over. 524 00:22:44,761 --> 00:22:46,597 Uh, Cinderella. Not you. 525 00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:48,432 I need one more dance before midnight. 526 00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:51,970 Oh, Captain, you're so funny! 527 00:22:52,002 --> 00:22:53,804 - Yeah. Thank you. - I just wanna... 528 00:22:53,837 --> 00:22:55,807 Excuse me. Sorry, comin' through. 529 00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,074 Whoa, one second. 530 00:22:57,107 --> 00:22:59,510 Let me just see. 531 00:23:05,849 --> 00:23:07,751 Excuse me. Captain Ritchie? 532 00:23:07,785 --> 00:23:09,854 - Just Ritchie. - Hi, I'm Gail Lovejoy. 533 00:23:09,886 --> 00:23:12,589 I'm a reporter from WHG Channel Seven. 534 00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:14,692 I just took my parents on your tour, 535 00:23:14,724 --> 00:23:16,126 and we really enjoyed it. 536 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,430 Thank you, guys. Thank you for coming. 537 00:23:18,462 --> 00:23:20,531 I would love to do a local color piece on you. 538 00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:22,066 It sounds great, but I'm not sure 539 00:23:22,098 --> 00:23:23,500 how funny I'd be right now. 540 00:23:23,534 --> 00:23:24,836 Oh, it wouldn't be today. 541 00:23:24,868 --> 00:23:26,703 Here, I'll give you my card. 542 00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:29,641 So, just give me a call and we'll set up a time. 543 00:23:29,673 --> 00:23:31,977 - All right. Thank you. - Thanks. 544 00:23:34,144 --> 00:23:36,213 Okay, folks. 545 00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:39,050 Who's ready for the historical, hysterical, 546 00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:41,853 completely inaccurate, but who cares about facts anyway, 547 00:23:41,885 --> 00:23:44,423 Captain Ritchie Duck Tour? Come on, step right up. 548 00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,603 Ah. 549 00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:00,038 That's gonna take some getting used to. 550 00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:01,673 Yes. Come. 551 00:24:01,705 --> 00:24:02,840 That way? Okay. 552 00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,041 Wait, hold on. 553 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,545 Okay. Ow! 554 00:24:08,712 --> 00:24:12,483 Wait... Ah! Thank you. 555 00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,251 What? 556 00:24:14,285 --> 00:24:16,187 We're not here. We're with the show. 557 00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,756 Just be natural. We're not here. 558 00:24:18,788 --> 00:24:20,759 - How does this... - No, just... not here. 559 00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:25,763 I got it. 560 00:24:25,796 --> 00:24:26,865 Thank you. 561 00:24:26,897 --> 00:24:28,131 After you. 562 00:24:33,703 --> 00:24:35,005 Oh! Ah. 563 00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:36,540 Oh, boy. 564 00:24:36,574 --> 00:24:38,076 Sorry. I got it. 565 00:24:38,108 --> 00:24:40,077 You're wondering about this. 566 00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:41,946 It's a love chain. 567 00:24:41,979 --> 00:24:43,715 Newest thing. We can't be apart. 568 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,149 And the video crew... 569 00:24:45,182 --> 00:24:46,651 - We're not here. - They're not here. 570 00:24:46,683 --> 00:24:49,186 I'll have a beer and Svetlana... 571 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,489 Vodka. 572 00:24:53,590 --> 00:24:55,158 So, Svetlana, tell me about you. 573 00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:56,760 Where did you go to law school? 574 00:24:56,794 --> 00:24:58,096 - Harvard. - I went to Harvard. 575 00:24:58,128 --> 00:24:59,997 I meant the University of Yale. 576 00:25:00,030 --> 00:25:02,834 Excuse me. Natasha! It's Bert! 577 00:25:02,866 --> 00:25:04,034 I'm no Natasha. 578 00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:06,738 It's Bert, from Saturday night. 579 00:25:06,770 --> 00:25:08,940 - Wrong person. - You're not Natasha? 580 00:25:08,972 --> 00:25:10,807 Well, you must have a twin, then. 581 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,210 No twin. Goodbye. 582 00:25:13,243 --> 00:25:15,012 All right, well, have a good night. 583 00:25:17,147 --> 00:25:18,916 So, what kind of law do you practice? 584 00:25:22,118 --> 00:25:25,923 ♪ Doctor give me the medicine ♪ 585 00:25:28,025 --> 00:25:32,130 ♪ And you'll see I've got this addiction ♪ 586 00:25:33,864 --> 00:25:36,067 ♪ It keeps me Crawling back again ♪ 587 00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,770 ♪ It keeps me Crawling back again ♪ 588 00:25:42,239 --> 00:25:44,174 Thank you! Thank you! 589 00:25:44,208 --> 00:25:46,911 We're gonna take a short beer break, then a piss break. 590 00:25:46,943 --> 00:25:47,979 And another beer break. 591 00:25:52,682 --> 00:25:54,586 - Hey! - Come here, baby. 592 00:25:54,618 --> 00:25:56,853 You killed it! Oh! 593 00:25:56,886 --> 00:25:58,155 - Hey, Mack. - Yo! 594 00:25:58,189 --> 00:25:59,724 Somebody I want you to meet, Yoni. 595 00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:00,858 - Hi. - Oh, hey. 596 00:26:00,891 --> 00:26:02,192 - Yoni. - Mack. 597 00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:03,828 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 598 00:26:03,861 --> 00:26:04,963 How do you guys know each other? 599 00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:06,097 We met in New York. 600 00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,066 When you went three months ago? 601 00:26:08,098 --> 00:26:09,166 Like four and a half. 602 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,835 Wait, you guys want some beer? 603 00:26:10,867 --> 00:26:12,604 - Yeah, that'd be great. - Yes, thank you. 604 00:26:12,636 --> 00:26:14,938 She's cute. Is her name really Yoni? 605 00:26:14,971 --> 00:26:16,307 - Yes. - Like the... 606 00:26:16,339 --> 00:26:18,742 She's a performance artist. 607 00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:21,045 How long have you guys been seeing each other? 608 00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:23,080 Kinda since New York, yeah. 609 00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:25,783 I don't wanna sound like a chick or anything, 610 00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:27,218 but if I was banging a girl... 611 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:28,853 Uh-huh. We're not just banging. 612 00:26:28,885 --> 00:26:30,087 Is it serious? 613 00:26:31,821 --> 00:26:34,191 - Maybe. - Ah-ha-hoh! 614 00:26:34,224 --> 00:26:35,759 Congrats, dude, that's awesome. 615 00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:37,160 Thank you. 616 00:26:37,193 --> 00:26:39,297 Yeah. Is it odd you didn't tell me? 617 00:26:39,329 --> 00:26:41,165 No. 618 00:26:43,733 --> 00:26:45,202 - Here. - Thank you. 619 00:26:45,236 --> 00:26:46,971 - You're welcome. - Thank you. Cheers. 620 00:26:47,003 --> 00:26:48,606 - Cheers, guys. - Cheers. 621 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:53,678 Could you do the walk one more time? 622 00:26:53,711 --> 00:26:55,078 - What? - We didn't get it. 623 00:26:55,112 --> 00:26:56,648 I thought this was a reality show? 624 00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,016 It is, completely real. 625 00:26:58,048 --> 00:26:59,150 So, why do we need to... 626 00:26:59,182 --> 00:27:00,684 Could you do the walk up again? 627 00:27:00,718 --> 00:27:02,120 - Okay. Again. - Thank you. 628 00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,868 There's my baby boy. 629 00:27:16,901 --> 00:27:18,769 What a nice dog. 630 00:27:20,136 --> 00:27:21,338 Don't mind him. 631 00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:23,106 His bite is worse than his bark. 632 00:27:23,140 --> 00:27:25,176 You mean his bark is worse than his bite? 633 00:27:25,209 --> 00:27:27,845 No, his bite is worse. 634 00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:31,314 So, how are we going to organize the sleeping? 635 00:27:31,347 --> 00:27:35,185 We lie down, we shutting our eyes and be sleeping. 636 00:27:35,219 --> 00:27:37,020 Svetlana, you are amazingly beautiful. 637 00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:39,190 - Thank you. - Can I pee somewhere? 638 00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:40,191 Okay. 639 00:27:40,223 --> 00:27:41,759 Thanks. Oh... 640 00:27:43,059 --> 00:27:45,929 Oh. Oh, uh... 641 00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,232 Can I just get a little bit of privacy? 642 00:27:49,266 --> 00:27:51,302 Why? Do you think I never before seen peeing? 643 00:27:51,335 --> 00:27:53,203 No, it's not that. Of course... 644 00:27:53,237 --> 00:27:55,473 I've seen bigger ones and littler ones. 645 00:27:55,506 --> 00:27:58,109 - Ah, thank you. - You brush your teeth? 646 00:27:58,142 --> 00:28:00,978 Ah, I didn't get a brush. I'll get one in the morning. 647 00:28:01,010 --> 00:28:02,279 Here. 648 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,248 - No, that's okay. - I no sick. 649 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,084 It's not that. I just... 650 00:28:06,116 --> 00:28:07,851 - Don't be pussy. - Okay. 651 00:28:18,461 --> 00:28:19,730 Good. 652 00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:29,107 - Hello. - It's me. It's eleven o'clock. 653 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,508 - Wow! - What? 654 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:32,844 Well, Jody never told me you were so punctual. 655 00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:34,345 Ha-ha-ha. 656 00:28:34,377 --> 00:28:36,913 - Teasing me again. - Yes, I am. 657 00:28:36,946 --> 00:28:38,415 Well, it's a bit late. 658 00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:40,451 - And? - I've had a long day 659 00:28:40,483 --> 00:28:43,287 and I'm not my best at this time of night. 660 00:28:43,319 --> 00:28:44,922 I think if we're gonna get together, 661 00:28:44,954 --> 00:28:46,456 I should be at my best. 662 00:28:46,490 --> 00:28:48,893 Oh, so you're saving the worst for the last? 663 00:28:48,925 --> 00:28:50,794 Well, yeah, you could say that. 664 00:28:50,827 --> 00:28:52,963 - So, you're bailing on me? - No! Not... I'm not... 665 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:54,966 - You're jilting me? - No, I'm not jilting... 666 00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:56,467 You're stiffing me. You're ghosting me. 667 00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:57,835 You're wimping out, whatever. 668 00:28:57,867 --> 00:28:59,202 It's late. I'm tired. 669 00:28:59,236 --> 00:29:01,205 Best I call you tomorrow and make a date then. 670 00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:02,539 Well, don't call too early 671 00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:04,809 because you know, I do have archery class. 672 00:29:04,842 --> 00:29:06,076 Ha! 673 00:29:07,211 --> 00:29:08,246 Was that a "ha"? 674 00:29:08,278 --> 00:29:10,013 Um, yeah, it was. 675 00:29:10,047 --> 00:29:12,383 Oh, no, listen. Listen, very carefully. 676 00:29:12,415 --> 00:29:14,184 Find another "ha," put the two together, 677 00:29:14,218 --> 00:29:15,820 and you got yourself a laugh. 678 00:29:15,853 --> 00:29:18,923 Very funny. Yeah. I'll practice that. 679 00:29:18,955 --> 00:29:20,357 Okay. 680 00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,560 So, what time should I call you? 681 00:29:22,593 --> 00:29:24,162 Oh, 10:36. 682 00:29:24,194 --> 00:29:27,063 Oh! I think I'm busy at 10:36, but... 683 00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:29,901 I might have a gap at 10:37. 684 00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:31,269 Yeah. Ha! 685 00:29:35,605 --> 00:29:36,973 Olga! 686 00:29:37,007 --> 00:29:38,109 - Shit! - What? 687 00:29:38,142 --> 00:29:40,044 - Quick! - Olga! 688 00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:42,012 - Coming! - Open the fucking door! 689 00:29:42,046 --> 00:29:44,481 What? Why are you doing that? 690 00:29:44,515 --> 00:29:47,418 - Open the door! - Coming! I'm coming! 691 00:29:47,451 --> 00:29:49,086 - Ow! - Open the door! 692 00:29:49,118 --> 00:29:50,821 Coming! 693 00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:53,391 Olga, why do you not open the freaking door? 694 00:29:53,423 --> 00:29:55,292 I was asleep, what you think?! 695 00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:56,795 Take a pee! 696 00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:01,131 Ugh! Ah! 697 00:30:05,001 --> 00:30:06,537 What's the problem? Who is that?! 698 00:30:06,569 --> 00:30:09,139 Get under the bed! Very sorry! 699 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:14,011 Come here, my little pirogue. 700 00:30:14,044 --> 00:30:16,047 You're drunk. Go home. 701 00:30:16,079 --> 00:30:17,247 Ah, gimme kiss. 702 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,349 I have no kisses for drunk people. 703 00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,184 Kisses. Come on. 704 00:30:21,218 --> 00:30:22,452 We've been over this... 705 00:30:22,486 --> 00:30:24,021 Oh! 706 00:30:24,054 --> 00:30:25,857 Not open for business! 707 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,391 Please, gimme me big hug. 708 00:30:30,294 --> 00:30:31,929 You open. 709 00:30:31,961 --> 00:30:33,865 It's not even open for discussion! 710 00:30:39,403 --> 00:30:41,873 It wasn't history that called them the Minutemen, 711 00:30:41,905 --> 00:30:43,173 it was their wives. 712 00:30:45,108 --> 00:30:46,910 Are you a Yankees fan? 713 00:30:46,943 --> 00:30:50,147 What's the difference between a Yankee and a baby? 714 00:30:51,515 --> 00:30:53,384 A baby stops crying after a while. 715 00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:54,584 Boom! Got him! 716 00:30:58,288 --> 00:31:01,025 Oh, Victor. Victor, left, left, left, left. 717 00:31:08,365 --> 00:31:13,104 Um, sorry about that, I thought I saw someone I knew. 718 00:31:13,136 --> 00:31:14,672 Well, actually, I have a question. 719 00:31:14,704 --> 00:31:17,407 Have any of you seen, um... 720 00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:21,312 a girl with a glass slipper tattoo on her neck? 721 00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:25,383 Asking because she actually did one of my tours, and... 722 00:31:27,116 --> 00:31:30,355 She was real magical. She had a wonderful smile. 723 00:31:31,555 --> 00:31:32,990 She's about this tall. 724 00:31:34,357 --> 00:31:37,028 She left this. 725 00:31:41,365 --> 00:31:44,402 All right, so, yes, if you see the tavern over there, 726 00:31:44,434 --> 00:31:47,971 Betty Ross actually drew the first image 727 00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,707 of the American flag 728 00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:52,943 on a cocktail napkin. What! 729 00:31:57,114 --> 00:31:58,649 Yoo-hoo. 730 00:31:58,682 --> 00:32:00,183 Ah! What? 731 00:32:00,217 --> 00:32:01,719 Is safe. 732 00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:03,287 - He's gone? - Yes. 733 00:32:03,319 --> 00:32:04,288 Come out. 734 00:32:06,222 --> 00:32:07,390 Who the hell was that? 735 00:32:07,423 --> 00:32:08,591 - Nobody. - Nobody? 736 00:32:08,625 --> 00:32:10,528 - Nobody. - Is that a wig? 737 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,562 - No, it's my hair. - But you're a brunette. 738 00:32:12,596 --> 00:32:15,633 No, that is wig. That's classier for the TV show. 739 00:32:15,665 --> 00:32:17,100 Ooh. 740 00:32:19,536 --> 00:32:21,005 - You have a roommate? - No. 741 00:32:21,038 --> 00:32:22,306 You have to be at work today? 742 00:32:22,338 --> 00:32:23,273 No, maybe tonight, later. 743 00:32:23,307 --> 00:32:25,041 You have night court? 744 00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:27,278 No, I haven't been to that one since last year. 745 00:32:27,310 --> 00:32:29,446 What kind of law do you practice again? 746 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,481 No practice. I was arrested. 747 00:32:31,515 --> 00:32:33,184 - For what? - Dancing. 748 00:32:33,217 --> 00:32:35,152 - You're a dancer? - Yes. 749 00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,053 - Ballet? - No. 750 00:32:37,086 --> 00:32:38,455 - Broadway? - Exotic. 751 00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:40,156 - Stripper? - Exotic. 752 00:32:40,190 --> 00:32:43,661 - So, you're not Svetlana? - Just for the TV show. 753 00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:45,695 - And you're not Natasha? - Just for the dancing. 754 00:32:45,729 --> 00:32:47,064 Of course, for the dancing. 755 00:32:47,096 --> 00:32:48,699 You're blonde, not a brunette. 756 00:32:48,731 --> 00:32:51,201 Not a lawyer, but a stripper, and Zhopa is your pimp. 757 00:32:51,234 --> 00:32:53,436 Do not say that. 758 00:32:53,470 --> 00:32:55,373 I am a dancer, not a hooker. 759 00:32:55,405 --> 00:32:57,407 I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure it out. 760 00:32:57,441 --> 00:32:59,576 Zhopa is managing club where I'm working. 761 00:32:59,609 --> 00:33:01,144 He's dangerous person. 762 00:33:01,178 --> 00:33:02,546 Zhopa mafia? 763 00:33:02,578 --> 00:33:03,780 No. 764 00:33:03,814 --> 00:33:05,115 Yes. 765 00:33:05,148 --> 00:33:06,683 Perfect. 766 00:33:06,717 --> 00:33:09,053 We can no let him knowing about this. 767 00:33:09,086 --> 00:33:11,322 - Or he'll kill you? - Us. 768 00:33:11,355 --> 00:33:13,223 Olga. 769 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,061 Olga, did you ever consider the very slight possibility 770 00:33:17,094 --> 00:33:18,662 that he might find out about us 771 00:33:18,694 --> 00:33:21,031 when the show goes on television all over America?! 772 00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:23,167 - No. - I'm getting out of here. 773 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,068 I am so screwed. What were you thinking? 774 00:33:25,102 --> 00:33:26,670 I was thinking that I winning the money 775 00:33:26,702 --> 00:33:29,272 and escaping away. A million dollars. 776 00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:32,809 Maybe you no needing it, but I am! I am! 777 00:33:32,843 --> 00:33:34,745 I need it too, badly. 778 00:33:34,778 --> 00:33:36,747 I'm a gambler. 779 00:33:36,779 --> 00:33:41,285 I owe some bad guys some very large amounts of money. 780 00:33:41,317 --> 00:33:43,253 And if I don't get it, I'm dead. 781 00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:45,489 So, if I quit, they kill me. 782 00:33:45,521 --> 00:33:47,391 And if I stay, your guy kills me. 783 00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:58,102 Yes? 784 00:33:58,134 --> 00:33:59,836 Hi. 785 00:33:59,869 --> 00:34:01,772 - Can I help you? - I'm Jessie. 786 00:34:03,539 --> 00:34:06,676 I ran into you, yesterday, out front of the church. 787 00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:08,179 Oh. 788 00:34:08,211 --> 00:34:09,813 Yes, how could I forget? 789 00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:11,782 Must be the concussion. 790 00:34:11,815 --> 00:34:14,418 Yeah, I am really sorry about that. Are you okay? 791 00:34:14,451 --> 00:34:16,320 Still alive. 792 00:34:16,353 --> 00:34:18,155 Hanging on by my fingernails. 793 00:34:20,157 --> 00:34:23,294 So, I'm the new planner for Liz and Robert's wedding. 794 00:34:23,327 --> 00:34:24,695 What? 795 00:34:24,728 --> 00:34:25,863 You?! 796 00:34:25,896 --> 00:34:28,164 I did tell them you should do it. 797 00:34:28,197 --> 00:34:30,534 Yeah, well, I should. But I'm not. 798 00:34:32,168 --> 00:34:35,138 So, how can I help you? 799 00:34:35,172 --> 00:34:38,175 Well, I'm very glad to hear there's no hard feelings. 800 00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:39,643 I didn't say that. 801 00:34:42,813 --> 00:34:46,650 So, I ran into a couple of slight hiccups 802 00:34:46,682 --> 00:34:48,853 with your floor plan for the reception. 803 00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:51,387 No worries. I redrew it. 804 00:34:51,420 --> 00:34:53,156 Why? It's perfect. 805 00:34:53,190 --> 00:34:55,559 Perfect, except, 806 00:34:55,592 --> 00:34:59,130 there wasn't room for the band. 807 00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,831 Well, there is no band. 808 00:35:00,864 --> 00:35:02,333 There's a band. 809 00:35:02,365 --> 00:35:05,235 No, my dear. 810 00:35:05,268 --> 00:35:08,705 There is not a band, there's a string quartet. 811 00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:10,574 - Oh. - There, in the corner. 812 00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:13,744 Not anymore, it moved to the church for the ceremony. 813 00:35:13,777 --> 00:35:15,278 Because? 814 00:35:15,311 --> 00:35:17,647 Because there's a band, 815 00:35:17,681 --> 00:35:20,150 per the bride, for the reception. 816 00:35:20,184 --> 00:35:21,485 It's on a big stage, 817 00:35:21,518 --> 00:35:23,353 and there was no room for the stage. 818 00:35:23,387 --> 00:35:25,189 So, the answer was really simple. 819 00:35:25,222 --> 00:35:27,391 I just shifted the tables, slid the bar 820 00:35:27,423 --> 00:35:29,192 and finally, got rid of that big thingy. 821 00:35:30,494 --> 00:35:34,164 That big thingy is the centerpiece table. 822 00:35:35,699 --> 00:35:37,501 Right. It was blocking everybody's view. So... 823 00:35:37,534 --> 00:35:39,804 No, no, no, that is my signature. 824 00:35:43,206 --> 00:35:45,542 What if we move it to the entrance 825 00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:47,177 so that everyone sees it as they come in? 826 00:35:47,210 --> 00:35:50,513 My dear, listen. Since this is your first, 827 00:35:50,547 --> 00:35:52,449 and surely, your last opportunity 828 00:35:52,481 --> 00:35:53,951 to be a wedding planner, 829 00:35:53,983 --> 00:35:56,487 why don't you keep your amateur ideas to yourself 830 00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:58,355 and let the professionals do it? 831 00:35:58,387 --> 00:36:01,726 The layout is perfect. We're not gonna change anything. 832 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,295 We'll have no stage 833 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,432 and the centerpiece will stay exactly where it should be, 834 00:36:08,465 --> 00:36:09,700 in... the... center. 835 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,474 Well, I just came from them, and this is what they want. 836 00:36:17,507 --> 00:36:20,344 Yeah. 837 00:36:20,376 --> 00:36:22,512 You just run along, I'll talk to Robert. 838 00:36:23,947 --> 00:36:27,318 Okay. I know you are a big famous deal, 839 00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,852 and I am new at this. 840 00:36:28,885 --> 00:36:30,821 However, this wedding is not about me. 841 00:36:30,853 --> 00:36:32,388 It's certainly not about you. 842 00:36:32,422 --> 00:36:34,358 Our job here, is to give the bride and groom 843 00:36:34,391 --> 00:36:36,626 what they truly want. And if what they truly want 844 00:36:36,659 --> 00:36:39,862 is a Buddhist monk on a trapeze singing "Stairway to Heaven," 845 00:36:39,896 --> 00:36:42,666 then that is what they should get. It's their day. 846 00:36:42,699 --> 00:36:45,501 - Now, don't get hysterical. - Really?! 847 00:36:45,534 --> 00:36:47,337 Hysterical? 848 00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:49,506 That's what this looks like to you, is hysterical? 849 00:36:49,539 --> 00:36:50,641 Why? Because I'm a girl? 850 00:36:53,577 --> 00:36:56,380 I don't get hysterical 851 00:36:56,413 --> 00:36:59,617 and I don't lose, ever. 852 00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:01,652 So... 853 00:37:01,684 --> 00:37:03,519 I'm gonna make this work. 854 00:37:03,552 --> 00:37:05,556 If you would like to work with me on it, 855 00:37:05,588 --> 00:37:08,858 that would be great, otherwise, it's gonna be so much easier 856 00:37:08,891 --> 00:37:11,861 now that I have figured out precisely where 857 00:37:11,894 --> 00:37:13,764 you can shove your centerpiece. 858 00:37:17,833 --> 00:37:18,835 It opens in. 859 00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:22,707 That was my second option. 860 00:37:25,809 --> 00:37:28,512 Wait! Wait. 861 00:37:30,947 --> 00:37:32,717 Let me have another look at your plan. 862 00:37:45,094 --> 00:37:47,330 Give it up. Give it up. 863 00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:55,972 ♪ The sign said danger Beware of thin ice ♪ 864 00:37:56,005 --> 00:38:00,009 ♪ So, I walked out And closed my eyes ♪ 865 00:38:00,043 --> 00:38:03,347 ♪ Safe and warm On the shoreline ♪ 866 00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:07,952 ♪ So, why did I Walk out on thin ice? ♪ 867 00:38:09,753 --> 00:38:11,856 ♪ Is that cracking I hear? ♪ 868 00:38:13,690 --> 00:38:16,960 ♪ Is it drowning I fear?... ♪ 869 00:38:18,695 --> 00:38:20,731 Make a right turn now. 870 00:38:20,764 --> 00:38:22,700 Good. Good. 871 00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:25,702 I've got the door for you. 872 00:38:25,735 --> 00:38:28,338 Oh, sorry. Thank you so much. Oh! 873 00:38:28,371 --> 00:38:32,041 ♪ I could really get killed ♪ 874 00:38:32,074 --> 00:38:36,012 ♪ I'm almost certain That I'll fall through ♪ 875 00:38:36,045 --> 00:38:39,916 Oh! Oh, my! I... Oh. 876 00:38:41,885 --> 00:38:44,355 Oh, my... 877 00:38:44,387 --> 00:38:47,458 Ah. So. 878 00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:49,525 Lawrence! Oh, God. Thank goodness. 879 00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:52,028 Thank God, at least I wrecked the right office. 880 00:38:52,061 --> 00:38:54,097 It's only a couple of lamps. 881 00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:55,833 -Yeah, I... Oh! 882 00:38:55,865 --> 00:38:57,735 Oh! Ah. 883 00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,802 - And a painting. - You'd think that Teddy and I 884 00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,739 would be better at this, but oh, no, we just... 885 00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:05,108 we just keep banging into things. 886 00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:06,844 But honestly, I will pay for this. 887 00:39:06,876 --> 00:39:08,679 No, no, no. Nothing's broken. 888 00:39:08,711 --> 00:39:11,614 Too many lamps anyway. 889 00:39:11,648 --> 00:39:14,084 So, I wasn't expecting you. What are you... 890 00:39:14,117 --> 00:39:16,653 Well, 10:37, it came and went. 891 00:39:16,686 --> 00:39:18,622 And then 10:38. So, you know what I did? 892 00:39:18,655 --> 00:39:19,957 I brought us lunch. 893 00:39:19,989 --> 00:39:23,760 Oh, God! I was supposed to call you. 894 00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:25,562 - That's right. You forgot. - I'm... 895 00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,865 I never forget anything. 896 00:39:28,898 --> 00:39:31,567 Well, I don't think you can ever say that again, can you? 897 00:39:31,601 --> 00:39:34,104 I'm so angry at myself. 898 00:39:34,137 --> 00:39:36,640 Isn't that my role as the victim, here? 899 00:39:36,672 --> 00:39:39,642 Yes, well, yeah. Yes, you should be angry, too. 900 00:39:39,675 --> 00:39:43,012 I was. But then, I did destroy your office, 901 00:39:43,045 --> 00:39:45,014 so, we're even. 902 00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:48,718 Yes. Suppose we are. 903 00:39:48,751 --> 00:39:51,121 So, we could either, I don't know, eat here 904 00:39:51,153 --> 00:39:53,123 or we could eat outside in the park? 905 00:39:53,155 --> 00:39:59,028 Well, I think it might be safer in the park. 906 00:39:59,061 --> 00:40:01,431 You're funny. 907 00:40:05,534 --> 00:40:06,836 What is this? 908 00:40:06,869 --> 00:40:08,838 Hang on. You guys wait outside. 909 00:40:08,871 --> 00:40:10,106 Can't do that. 910 00:40:10,139 --> 00:40:12,141 I got a shrink appointment here. 911 00:40:12,175 --> 00:40:14,044 - Could you just wait outside? - Ah, no. 912 00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:17,080 Look, this is private, personal. 913 00:40:17,112 --> 00:40:18,815 And my doctor is very strict. 914 00:40:18,849 --> 00:40:20,751 If I miss my appointment, I'll lose my slot. 915 00:40:20,784 --> 00:40:22,552 - Just give me an hour. - No. 916 00:40:22,585 --> 00:40:23,753 - Are you kidding me? - No. 917 00:40:23,786 --> 00:40:25,621 This contract that you signed, 918 00:40:25,655 --> 00:40:28,057 gives us complete and total 24-hour access to your life 919 00:40:28,090 --> 00:40:29,559 for the duration of the show. 920 00:40:29,592 --> 00:40:31,795 If, at any point, you deny us that access, 921 00:40:31,827 --> 00:40:33,463 I have the right, and the obligation, 922 00:40:33,496 --> 00:40:34,831 to set off the alarm, 923 00:40:34,864 --> 00:40:36,899 thereby terminating your participation 924 00:40:36,932 --> 00:40:38,869 in any and all future episodes of Crash Couples. 925 00:40:38,902 --> 00:40:42,440 Okay. Good. Great, fine. Let's go. 926 00:40:45,909 --> 00:40:47,677 I can explain. 927 00:40:47,710 --> 00:40:49,212 - Hello... What's this? - I can explain. 928 00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,215 Have you forgotten about our boundary rules? 929 00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:53,250 - And you, who are you, sir? - We're not here. 930 00:40:53,282 --> 00:40:54,817 - Hiya. - This is highly irregular. 931 00:40:54,851 --> 00:40:56,053 Dr. Offerman, they're fine. 932 00:40:56,085 --> 00:40:57,620 I'm involved in this project, 933 00:40:57,653 --> 00:40:59,121 so, normal session. 934 00:40:59,155 --> 00:41:00,724 No secrets. Please. Let's just get going. 935 00:41:00,757 --> 00:41:02,693 No secrets. Fine. 936 00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:06,195 So, last week was clearly revealing. 937 00:41:06,228 --> 00:41:08,731 - How much you pay him? - Seven hundred. Can we... 938 00:41:08,764 --> 00:41:10,166 - A month? - An hour. 939 00:41:10,199 --> 00:41:12,101 - Fifty minutes, actually. - What? That's crazy! 940 00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,937 My girlfriend hooker gets only three-fifty, 941 00:41:13,969 --> 00:41:15,805 and she will screw you for the whole hour! 942 00:41:15,838 --> 00:41:17,840 This is a bad idea. Doctor, I'll see you next week. 943 00:41:17,873 --> 00:41:19,242 Ah, textbook avoidance. 944 00:41:19,275 --> 00:41:21,110 Clearly, you're resisting examining 945 00:41:21,143 --> 00:41:24,146 why you chose to bring a woman of this type here, today. 946 00:41:24,179 --> 00:41:26,849 - What you mean by that? - We've been exploring Jimmy's 947 00:41:26,882 --> 00:41:28,918 - sexuality issues. - This is not... 948 00:41:28,952 --> 00:41:32,256 Sit, Jimmy. He doesn't having any issues. 949 00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:34,091 Oh, I beg to differ. 950 00:41:34,123 --> 00:41:35,992 There are numerous signs pointing to 951 00:41:36,025 --> 00:41:38,094 Jimmy's desire to explore his feminine side. 952 00:41:38,128 --> 00:41:41,532 What?! Now, I'm thinking that you're the mental case here. 953 00:41:41,565 --> 00:41:44,034 You are hardly qualified. 954 00:41:44,067 --> 00:41:45,869 I'm no qualified, I am stripper. 955 00:41:45,902 --> 00:41:47,771 I can tell if guy is straight or homo, 956 00:41:47,804 --> 00:41:49,572 when he pull into the parking lot. 957 00:41:49,606 --> 00:41:51,542 - Please, let's just... - I know these things. 958 00:41:51,574 --> 00:41:53,242 Now, let's get out of here. 959 00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:56,812 You might examining why you sucking so hard on that pipe? 960 00:41:56,846 --> 00:41:59,916 And don't try to charging Jimmy for this hour. 961 00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,690 Wow. You stood up for me. 962 00:42:06,722 --> 00:42:10,059 Of course. You're a good man. He's Doctor Bullshit. 963 00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:11,795 No one ever stands up for me. 964 00:42:11,827 --> 00:42:13,697 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah. 965 00:42:13,730 --> 00:42:16,800 Last night, when you and that guy were 966 00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:20,070 - bouncing a lot, were you... - Oh. Were we doing it? 967 00:42:20,103 --> 00:42:22,306 No, never. He can no do it. 968 00:42:22,338 --> 00:42:25,107 He just hugging and breathing a lot and falling a-sleeping. 969 00:42:25,141 --> 00:42:28,110 - Oh, okay. Good. - Why? 970 00:42:28,143 --> 00:42:30,747 Nothing. I just... Nothing. 971 00:42:37,653 --> 00:42:39,088 - Hey, boss. - Yeah? 972 00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,923 Olga. 973 00:42:40,956 --> 00:42:42,159 Stop! 974 00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,195 Oh! Oh, dammit. 975 00:42:45,228 --> 00:42:46,630 - What? - Zhopa. 976 00:42:46,663 --> 00:42:48,032 - What's going on? - Ah. Oh! 977 00:42:49,231 --> 00:42:51,168 - Oh! - What the fuck is this? 978 00:42:51,201 --> 00:42:53,137 - I can explain! - Get in the car! 979 00:42:54,371 --> 00:42:55,771 What is this? 980 00:42:55,804 --> 00:42:58,641 - I-I-I-I... - Shut up! Get in the car! 981 00:42:58,675 --> 00:43:01,211 - Stop that filming! - We're not actually here. 982 00:43:05,148 --> 00:43:06,717 Let's go! 983 00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:08,619 You didn't cut the camera, did you? 984 00:43:08,652 --> 00:43:10,320 - No way! - Great. Let's follow 'em. 985 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,835 You're quiet. You all right? 986 00:43:24,867 --> 00:43:27,336 Oh, yes. I'm just enjoying... 987 00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,672 The view. 988 00:43:29,706 --> 00:43:32,709 Whoa. You're sure forgetful. 989 00:43:32,742 --> 00:43:34,277 And you're funny. 990 00:43:34,309 --> 00:43:36,012 You're changing. 991 00:43:36,045 --> 00:43:38,414 Oh, no-no-no, don't say that. I hate change. 992 00:43:38,447 --> 00:43:40,083 Change is horrible. 993 00:43:40,115 --> 00:43:42,085 I don't know why everybody loves change. 994 00:43:43,820 --> 00:43:45,356 How so? I don't understand? 995 00:43:46,956 --> 00:43:50,827 I mean, everything. Take the telephone. 996 00:43:50,860 --> 00:43:52,963 A hundred years ago, Alexander Graham Bell 997 00:43:52,996 --> 00:43:55,932 invented it and it worked fine for all those years. 998 00:43:55,965 --> 00:43:57,300 - You pick it up, - Yeah. 999 00:43:57,333 --> 00:44:00,436 and you talk to whoever. You make a date. 1000 00:44:00,469 --> 00:44:02,438 - You go to the movies, right? - Uh-huh. 1001 00:44:02,472 --> 00:44:04,807 - Now... - Uh-huh, okay. 1002 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,110 Some bright spark has invented the cell phone. 1003 00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:10,312 So, everybody, instead of watching the movie, 1004 00:44:10,346 --> 00:44:13,650 they're calling and texting and... 1005 00:44:15,284 --> 00:44:16,886 - Well... - How can that... 1006 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,822 How can that be better, that change, huh? 1007 00:44:18,855 --> 00:44:22,159 Well, that's fine, but too much order and routine 1008 00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:23,927 and, I don't know, it's like, 1009 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,063 you lose the joy of chaos and randomness. 1010 00:44:27,097 --> 00:44:28,932 I would have thought you hated surprises. 1011 00:44:28,965 --> 00:44:30,767 Quite the opposite. You know what? 1012 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:35,238 They make me feel... alive. 1013 00:44:35,271 --> 00:44:36,373 I love it. 1014 00:44:42,311 --> 00:44:43,846 Are you taking my photograph? 1015 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,015 I am. 1016 00:44:45,047 --> 00:44:46,816 Oh, God. 1017 00:44:46,849 --> 00:44:48,250 Why? 1018 00:44:48,284 --> 00:44:50,753 Because I'm a photographer. 1019 00:44:50,786 --> 00:44:53,155 How can you see what you're taking? 1020 00:44:53,188 --> 00:44:55,759 Well, of course, I don't. 1021 00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:57,760 I shoot what I hear. 1022 00:45:00,028 --> 00:45:01,898 - What you hear? - Yeah. 1023 00:45:01,931 --> 00:45:03,900 You see, I wasn't always blind. 1024 00:45:05,201 --> 00:45:07,503 I was diagnosed when I was twenty, 1025 00:45:07,536 --> 00:45:09,438 with Neuromyelitis Optica. 1026 00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:12,409 And then, over the next seven years, my, 1027 00:45:12,442 --> 00:45:17,447 well, my vision deteriorated to the point where now, 1028 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,318 I can only, very vaguely, make out 1029 00:45:21,351 --> 00:45:24,454 traces of color and light. 1030 00:45:24,487 --> 00:45:26,789 So, how do you see the photographs? 1031 00:45:26,822 --> 00:45:29,091 My friend describes each one to me. 1032 00:45:29,125 --> 00:45:31,260 And then I choose one. 1033 00:45:31,293 --> 00:45:34,864 And then I record what I heard 1034 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,901 and how I felt the moment I took it. 1035 00:45:37,934 --> 00:45:39,169 - Hm. - Mm-hmm. 1036 00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:40,837 You're extraordinary. 1037 00:45:40,869 --> 00:45:42,405 Then the viewer walks up, 1038 00:45:44,007 --> 00:45:46,876 presses play, and gets to experience the moment 1039 00:45:46,909 --> 00:45:49,178 in the different ways we both do. 1040 00:45:52,882 --> 00:45:54,050 Like you and I, here? 1041 00:45:55,217 --> 00:45:57,353 Yeah. Yeah. 1042 00:45:59,222 --> 00:46:03,527 Like you and I, here. 1043 00:46:03,559 --> 00:46:07,130 ♪ Maybe this time Love is true ♪ 1044 00:46:07,163 --> 00:46:10,134 ♪ I can skate across with you ♪ 1045 00:46:12,168 --> 00:46:17,907 ♪ Maybe this thin ice Is thick enough for two ♪ 1046 00:46:20,076 --> 00:46:26,016 ♪ Maybe this thin ice Is thick enough for two ♪ 1047 00:46:27,951 --> 00:46:31,086 This is the craziest thing that I am hearing. 1048 00:46:31,119 --> 00:46:34,523 And you were there the night that I was visiting her? 1049 00:46:34,556 --> 00:46:37,493 No. I mean, yeah. I had to. 1050 00:46:37,527 --> 00:46:38,994 I didn't hear anything. 1051 00:46:39,027 --> 00:46:41,163 You thinking I am stupid? 1052 00:46:41,197 --> 00:46:43,099 I was under the bed, it was muffled. 1053 00:46:43,132 --> 00:46:44,568 Take off the chains, kill him. 1054 00:46:44,601 --> 00:46:46,369 No! You can no do this! 1055 00:46:46,402 --> 00:46:48,204 Get off, or I kill you, too. 1056 00:46:48,237 --> 00:46:50,072 No! This is a good man. 1057 00:46:50,106 --> 00:46:52,375 - Are you loving him? - No. 1058 00:46:52,407 --> 00:46:55,211 - Are you loving me? - Nyet! Never! 1059 00:46:55,244 --> 00:46:56,846 Kill them both. 1060 00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:01,351 Zhopa! We will losing one million dollars. 1061 00:47:01,384 --> 00:47:03,887 What? Say this again. 1062 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,523 The prize is one million for the winning. 1063 00:47:06,556 --> 00:47:08,023 You heard of this show? 1064 00:47:08,056 --> 00:47:10,426 Da. On TBS, Monday nights at ten. 1065 00:47:10,460 --> 00:47:13,128 Funny show. Is Conan's lead-in. 1066 00:47:13,161 --> 00:47:14,297 Do I kill him? 1067 00:47:14,329 --> 00:47:15,865 No. 1068 00:47:15,898 --> 00:47:18,268 We are partners now. 1069 00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:21,438 I am getting sixty percent of yours monies, 1070 00:47:21,471 --> 00:47:23,072 and eighty percent of yours. 1071 00:47:23,106 --> 00:47:24,875 Eighty? What? That's a terrible deal! 1072 00:47:24,907 --> 00:47:26,610 You not dying, and making a hundred thousand dollars 1073 00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:28,345 is great deal. 1074 00:47:28,378 --> 00:47:30,413 Well, you've got a gun to my head. Literally. 1075 00:47:30,445 --> 00:47:31,614 So, I agree. 1076 00:47:31,648 --> 00:47:33,383 Smart man. Now, 1077 00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:35,652 I am figuring out how we are winning this contest. 1078 00:47:35,684 --> 00:47:38,087 - Go to work. - What? Stripping? 1079 00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:39,456 With this? 1080 00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:41,458 Is kinky. You make more monies. 1081 00:47:41,490 --> 00:47:43,592 Leave me alone. 1082 00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:45,562 These modified World War II 1083 00:47:45,594 --> 00:47:47,230 amphibious vehicles 1084 00:47:47,262 --> 00:47:49,365 are a delightful must for all tourists. 1085 00:47:49,398 --> 00:47:51,634 The past and present of American history 1086 00:47:51,668 --> 00:47:55,972 are brought to life by conductors like Captain Richie. 1087 00:47:56,005 --> 00:47:58,340 Interesting fact, because part of the Boston Harbor 1088 00:47:58,373 --> 00:48:00,643 has been filled in, the actual site 1089 00:48:00,677 --> 00:48:04,213 of the Boston Tea Party is right over there. 1090 00:48:04,246 --> 00:48:06,015 And now it's a Starbucks. 1091 00:48:07,416 --> 00:48:09,119 Captain Richie has been giving 1092 00:48:09,152 --> 00:48:12,389 hysterical historical tours for over ten years. 1093 00:48:12,422 --> 00:48:15,157 My jokes are older than most of these buildings. 1094 00:48:15,190 --> 00:48:18,427 So, after all these years of making people happy, 1095 00:48:18,460 --> 00:48:21,964 Richie fell in love with one of his passengers. 1096 00:48:21,998 --> 00:48:24,701 Instant lightning bolt love. 1097 00:48:24,733 --> 00:48:26,469 But there's a problem. 1098 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:30,572 I don't know who or where she is. 1099 00:48:30,606 --> 00:48:33,443 Since they met, he's been searching for his Cinderella. 1100 00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:35,412 The only clue is that she has a tattoo 1101 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,647 of a glass slipper on her neck. 1102 00:48:37,679 --> 00:48:39,248 More than likely, she's a tourist 1103 00:48:39,282 --> 00:48:41,050 who's gone back home. 1104 00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:44,119 Never knowing that her true love could be right here. 1105 00:48:44,152 --> 00:48:48,190 Hmm. Ah. That's so sad. 1106 00:48:48,224 --> 00:48:51,061 Maybe not, because we're romantics, here at Seven. 1107 00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:53,163 We love lovers. 1108 00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:55,264 So, this Saturday, we're riding with Ritchie 1109 00:48:55,297 --> 00:48:57,599 to the Nashua Park steps on the Charles River. 1110 00:48:57,632 --> 00:49:00,736 So, if you're Cinderella, or if you know her, 1111 00:49:00,769 --> 00:49:03,139 please come join us at five o'clock 1112 00:49:03,172 --> 00:49:05,407 to meet your Prince Charming. 1113 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,976 Thanks, Gail. 1114 00:49:07,010 --> 00:49:09,079 And in baseball, the Sox had a big day. 1115 00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:11,114 Billy Gersh is here with highlights 1116 00:49:11,146 --> 00:49:14,183 ♪ I punch in this morning And checkin' my check ♪ 1117 00:49:14,217 --> 00:49:16,186 ♪ Short again ♪ 1118 00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:17,686 ♪ Man, what the heck? ♪ 1119 00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,289 ♪ They got me Working overtime ♪ 1120 00:49:20,322 --> 00:49:22,192 ♪ Every Saturday ♪ 1121 00:49:22,224 --> 00:49:24,027 ♪ That's wrong That's screwed up ♪ 1122 00:49:24,059 --> 00:49:26,128 ♪ Someone's gotta pay ♪ 1123 00:49:26,161 --> 00:49:30,065 ♪ Let me tell you, Boss How it's gonna be ♪ 1124 00:49:30,099 --> 00:49:33,470 ♪ Workin' for you Ain't workin' for me ♪ 1125 00:49:35,237 --> 00:49:36,772 - What do you think? - They're great! 1126 00:49:36,806 --> 00:49:38,675 Right? Best bar band in town. 1127 00:49:38,708 --> 00:49:40,577 Love 'em! 1128 00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:44,581 ♪ Let me tell you, Boss How it's gonna be ♪ 1129 00:49:44,614 --> 00:49:48,617 ♪ Workin' for you Ain't workin' for me! ♪ 1130 00:49:51,653 --> 00:49:55,157 Thank you, thank you, guys. Be back in ten. 1131 00:49:55,190 --> 00:49:56,459 More like 15. 1132 00:49:57,726 --> 00:50:00,763 - Hey, Hi. I'm Jessie. - Mack. 1133 00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,032 I've been watching you guys for years. 1134 00:50:03,065 --> 00:50:04,768 - I love the band. - Thank you. Thank you. 1135 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,536 My friend, Liz, at the bar over there, 1136 00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:09,472 is getting married soon, 1137 00:50:09,505 --> 00:50:12,642 and we were hoping to hire you guys to play the wedding. 1138 00:50:12,675 --> 00:50:14,344 Oh, we don't play weddings. 1139 00:50:14,376 --> 00:50:16,779 Well, it's really not a wedding, per se. 1140 00:50:16,813 --> 00:50:20,150 It's crazy party after a wedding. 1141 00:50:20,182 --> 00:50:21,751 We don't do wedding parties, either. 1142 00:50:21,784 --> 00:50:23,653 He's just saying that because he knows 1143 00:50:23,686 --> 00:50:25,822 he looks like a dork in a powder blue tuxedo. 1144 00:50:25,855 --> 00:50:28,425 We just don't play wedding songs like "Celebration." 1145 00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:31,594 Cool, I get why weddings could seem beneath you 1146 00:50:31,626 --> 00:50:33,762 - or cheesy or Tom Jones-y. - Mm-hmm. 1147 00:50:33,795 --> 00:50:36,265 But this one is very different. 1148 00:50:36,298 --> 00:50:38,101 Uh-huh. Why? 1149 00:50:38,134 --> 00:50:39,802 Well, firstly, it's gonna be like, 1150 00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:43,372 "Oh, my God! Last night was crazy! 1151 00:50:43,405 --> 00:50:45,507 How did I wake up in Canada?" 1152 00:50:45,541 --> 00:50:47,277 "Where did I get this alligator?" 1153 00:50:47,309 --> 00:50:49,078 "The only thing I remember 1154 00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:50,512 is that band was amaze-balls." 1155 00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:53,148 And secondly, while I personally love 1156 00:50:53,181 --> 00:50:56,452 the song "Celebration", you don't have to play it. 1157 00:50:56,485 --> 00:50:58,554 Listen, it's... 1158 00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,825 it is my first gig as a wedding planner. 1159 00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:03,293 So, it has to be perfect. 1160 00:51:03,326 --> 00:51:05,461 And your band is beyond perfect. 1161 00:51:05,494 --> 00:51:07,864 So, you guys, pretty much, have to do it 1162 00:51:07,896 --> 00:51:11,500 under the universal laws of love and romance. 1163 00:51:11,534 --> 00:51:13,269 Universal law. 1164 00:51:13,302 --> 00:51:15,105 - Yeah. - Okay, uh... 1165 00:51:15,137 --> 00:51:16,273 Hold on. 1166 00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,242 I will arm wrestle you for a yes. 1167 00:51:20,275 --> 00:51:21,844 You'll what? 1168 00:51:21,878 --> 00:51:23,546 You're bigger than me, come on. 1169 00:51:23,579 --> 00:51:26,382 Look at those biceps. Seriously. 1170 00:51:26,414 --> 00:51:29,219 I win, I get a yes. You pin me, I walk. 1171 00:51:29,251 --> 00:51:30,586 Let you enjoy your evening. 1172 00:51:30,619 --> 00:51:32,255 I can't say yes without my partner 1173 00:51:32,288 --> 00:51:34,289 Talk to your partner... What about your mommy? 1174 00:51:34,322 --> 00:51:35,558 Come on, you big baby. 1175 00:51:37,193 --> 00:51:39,362 All right. All right. 1176 00:51:39,394 --> 00:51:41,364 Okay. 1177 00:51:41,396 --> 00:51:43,833 One, two, three, go! 1178 00:51:43,865 --> 00:51:45,467 Damn, you're strong. 1179 00:51:45,501 --> 00:51:46,803 I really need a yes. 1180 00:51:46,835 --> 00:51:49,304 I really wanna give you that yes, but... 1181 00:51:49,338 --> 00:51:50,840 You don't have a choice. 1182 00:51:53,742 --> 00:51:56,378 Ah! Whoo! 1183 00:51:58,648 --> 00:52:02,184 All right. No, I made a bet and I lost it. 1184 00:52:02,217 --> 00:52:04,353 Listen, this is my guitar arm. 1185 00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:06,155 It had superpowers. It's not fair. 1186 00:52:06,188 --> 00:52:07,490 Thank you for your consideration 1187 00:52:09,425 --> 00:52:10,894 - Did you get 'em? - Not happening. 1188 00:52:10,927 --> 00:52:12,495 It's okay, we'll get somebody better. 1189 00:52:12,527 --> 00:52:14,496 - I thought they were the best. - They are. 1190 00:52:14,530 --> 00:52:16,399 I told you not to hire me. 1191 00:52:16,431 --> 00:52:19,535 Well, here, these were to celebrate our new band, 1192 00:52:19,568 --> 00:52:22,237 but now we'll just have to celebrate your firing. Hmm. 1193 00:52:22,271 --> 00:52:23,907 Oh, great. Cheers to that. 1194 00:52:26,375 --> 00:52:29,378 Come on. Let's go find a new band. 1195 00:52:29,411 --> 00:52:31,713 Ah, I guess. I just... 1196 00:52:31,746 --> 00:52:35,652 I don't know a single musician that would take that gig, so... 1197 00:52:35,684 --> 00:52:37,219 Look, if it's that big of a deal, 1198 00:52:37,253 --> 00:52:38,888 it could be good for the band. 1199 00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,557 - We don't do weddings. - Yeah, but this is different. 1200 00:52:41,590 --> 00:52:43,192 Oh, my God. Mack, 1201 00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:45,561 at a wedding, no one cares who the band is. 1202 00:52:45,594 --> 00:52:48,197 Everyone's drunk and they wanna dance. 1203 00:52:48,231 --> 00:52:50,300 And they're gonna ask for "Celebration" 1204 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:51,834 until you play it. 1205 00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:54,571 And at that moment, you're officially over. 1206 00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,641 If you could just give us one second? 1207 00:53:00,610 --> 00:53:02,478 We've played together since high school. 1208 00:53:02,510 --> 00:53:03,813 That's right. 1209 00:53:03,846 --> 00:53:05,514 Make all our decisions, 1210 00:53:05,547 --> 00:53:06,982 you and me, just the two of us. 1211 00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:08,617 She makes a good point, all right? 1212 00:53:08,650 --> 00:53:10,385 Don't get all bent out of shape. 1213 00:53:10,418 --> 00:53:11,887 I'm not, I'm not. I just don't wanna 1214 00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,822 miss out on an opportunity, you know? 1215 00:53:13,856 --> 00:53:16,292 We're kind of stuck here. we could use the money. 1216 00:53:16,324 --> 00:53:18,293 - That's... - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1217 00:53:18,327 --> 00:53:20,897 You're not doing this for that chick in there though, right? 1218 00:53:20,929 --> 00:53:21,931 No. 1219 00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:26,501 Maybe. 1220 00:53:26,534 --> 00:53:28,971 All right. Cool. 1221 00:53:30,672 --> 00:53:32,407 And look, we're not gonna play anything 1222 00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,810 from the "Kool and the Gang" catalog. Relax, okay? 1223 00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:37,647 Jessie. 1224 00:53:45,721 --> 00:53:46,889 This is Jessie. 1225 00:53:46,922 --> 00:53:48,490 Hey-hey, it's Mack. 1226 00:53:48,523 --> 00:53:50,425 Sorry, uh, Mack? 1227 00:53:50,458 --> 00:53:52,728 Mack, from the band? 1228 00:53:52,762 --> 00:53:56,365 Oh! Hi. Hi. Sorry. 1229 00:53:56,398 --> 00:53:59,301 - Is this a bad time? - Yeah, kinda, I... 1230 00:53:59,335 --> 00:54:00,403 Well, we're in. 1231 00:54:00,436 --> 00:54:01,838 In? 1232 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,338 The wedding. 1233 00:54:03,371 --> 00:54:04,640 Wait, really? 1234 00:54:04,673 --> 00:54:06,708 I mean, that... I... Wow! 1235 00:54:06,742 --> 00:54:09,746 I thought, you know, you won, I lost, and... 1236 00:54:09,778 --> 00:54:12,681 You know, only six-year-olds make career choices 1237 00:54:12,715 --> 00:54:14,717 based on arm-wrestling matches. 1238 00:54:14,750 --> 00:54:17,420 Are you calling me a six-year-old? 1239 00:54:17,452 --> 00:54:20,690 Yeah. But you gotta pay in dollars, not Play-Doh. 1240 00:54:20,722 --> 00:54:22,824 Okay. You drive a hard bargain, 1241 00:54:22,858 --> 00:54:24,394 but I can arrange that. 1242 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,429 This is fantastic. Mack, thank you so much! 1243 00:54:26,461 --> 00:54:27,929 You are saving my life. Seriously. 1244 00:54:27,963 --> 00:54:29,065 I love you for this. 1245 00:54:29,097 --> 00:54:31,034 I have that effect on people. 1246 00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:34,771 Good to know. Well, great. I'll text you the details then. 1247 00:54:34,804 --> 00:54:37,273 - All right. Bye. - Bye. 1248 00:54:40,009 --> 00:54:44,713 Yes! Yes! 1249 00:54:49,784 --> 00:54:51,553 Lots of drama this week. 1250 00:54:51,586 --> 00:54:53,588 Two couples have already crashed and burned. 1251 00:54:53,621 --> 00:54:56,625 The first one seems to be kosher versus the kebab. 1252 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:06,469 And they're done. 1253 00:55:06,501 --> 00:55:07,737 This you? 1254 00:55:07,769 --> 00:55:09,438 - That was not us. - Beat it! 1255 00:55:14,376 --> 00:55:15,644 Not you? 1256 00:55:16,878 --> 00:55:19,915 Okay. That is us. 1257 00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:28,757 Next, a truly bizarre wake-up call. 1258 00:55:33,661 --> 00:55:34,730 - What? - Oh, my God! 1259 00:55:34,764 --> 00:55:35,932 What are you wearing?! 1260 00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:37,700 Oh, my God, what is that? What is... 1261 00:55:37,733 --> 00:55:39,702 I have no idea what the hell is that. 1262 00:55:39,735 --> 00:55:42,070 I don't know how she got in here. I don't even know her. 1263 00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:44,573 - I'm a church-going lady! - I would never wear this! 1264 00:55:44,606 --> 00:55:46,608 Do not push the button, I need this million! 1265 00:55:46,641 --> 00:55:48,877 No! You can't pull it! 1266 00:55:48,911 --> 00:55:51,079 And they're done. 1267 00:55:51,112 --> 00:55:52,781 Beat it! Beat it! 1268 00:55:52,815 --> 00:55:55,451 - That was us. - Beat it! Beat it! Beat it! 1269 00:55:55,483 --> 00:55:58,387 One of our couples actually seems to be getting along. 1270 00:56:03,525 --> 00:56:05,594 Whoa, the shortstop just got to second base. 1271 00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:08,898 But there's more. We've got 1272 00:56:08,931 --> 00:56:11,400 a Crash Couples exclusive for you tonight. 1273 00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:13,536 The other final couple has a secret. 1274 00:56:13,568 --> 00:56:16,672 It turns out Svetlana is not a lawyer. 1275 00:56:16,704 --> 00:56:19,674 This is where she passed her bar exam. 1276 00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:21,711 Or should I say pole exam? 1277 00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:24,680 Woo-hoo, looks like Jimmy 1278 00:56:24,713 --> 00:56:25,782 isn't her best man. 1279 00:56:30,985 --> 00:56:33,588 - Okay. - He's my brother. 1280 00:56:33,621 --> 00:56:35,123 There's that, and there's this. 1281 00:56:35,157 --> 00:56:36,959 Whoop, doesn't look like 1282 00:56:36,992 --> 00:56:38,728 he's working on his toast for his brother, 1283 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,496 Robert Barton's wedding 1284 00:56:40,528 --> 00:56:42,197 Oh, there's a push! And another push. 1285 00:56:42,231 --> 00:56:44,200 Oh! Look out! Look at... 1286 00:56:44,233 --> 00:56:46,536 Oh, there's gotta be some hair pulling in this one. 1287 00:56:46,568 --> 00:56:48,003 There's the hair pull! 1288 00:56:48,036 --> 00:56:49,504 So, we've got the wedding trasher 1289 00:56:49,538 --> 00:56:50,972 and now this. 1290 00:56:51,005 --> 00:56:52,641 He's in the finals. That's not bad. 1291 00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,143 It's not bad, it's terrible! 1292 00:56:54,175 --> 00:56:56,445 Your lead has gone from seven points to four, 1293 00:56:56,478 --> 00:56:57,579 that falls within the statistical error range. 1294 00:56:57,612 --> 00:56:58,914 You could lose this. 1295 00:57:00,648 --> 00:57:02,117 Oh, boy, here they come. 1296 00:57:02,150 --> 00:57:05,053 We haven't met. Hi. I'm Robert Barton. 1297 00:57:05,086 --> 00:57:06,855 - Olga. - Not Svetlana? 1298 00:57:06,889 --> 00:57:08,825 Is made-up name for the privacy. 1299 00:57:08,858 --> 00:57:11,093 Let's cut to it. Jimmy, you're gonna pull out of this. 1300 00:57:11,126 --> 00:57:13,229 - What? No way. - What's goin' on? 1301 00:57:13,262 --> 00:57:14,831 Nothing, I... 1302 00:57:14,864 --> 00:57:16,032 He's in debt and he's in troubles. 1303 00:57:16,065 --> 00:57:17,867 - Is this true? - Kinda, yeah. 1304 00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,802 Touching, but you're gonna cost him the election. 1305 00:57:19,835 --> 00:57:21,871 Why didn't you come to me? What were you thinking? 1306 00:57:21,903 --> 00:57:23,672 I'm an idiot. I don't know. 1307 00:57:23,706 --> 00:57:25,240 Look, if you want me to quit the show... 1308 00:57:25,273 --> 00:57:26,909 - We do. - I can't! 1309 00:57:26,942 --> 00:57:28,978 - Why not? - Olga. I committed to her. 1310 00:57:29,010 --> 00:57:31,246 - What about Robert? - I'll keep it really low key. 1311 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,816 No controversy, no strip bars. 1312 00:57:33,849 --> 00:57:37,153 I promise. I'll even skip your wedding. 1313 00:57:37,186 --> 00:57:39,222 - Not good enough. - But in the end, 1314 00:57:39,255 --> 00:57:41,858 it's just a game show, right? Where's the negative in that? 1315 00:57:41,891 --> 00:57:44,760 I'm not gonna bail on my brother because of a game show. 1316 00:57:44,793 --> 00:57:46,596 - Bev, spin this. - What? 1317 00:57:46,628 --> 00:57:49,264 Look, I'm a stiff. I have no sense of humor. 1318 00:57:49,297 --> 00:57:51,066 Maybe that's why my numbers are down. 1319 00:57:51,099 --> 00:57:53,502 Make this fun. Make me fun. 1320 00:57:54,903 --> 00:57:57,072 - That's crazy. - It is! 1321 00:57:57,106 --> 00:57:58,975 But won't it be fun? 1322 00:58:38,981 --> 00:58:41,751 Thank you! Thank you! Goodnight. 1323 00:58:45,820 --> 00:58:48,056 Yoni, she's killer, right? 1324 00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:50,326 Yeah, she takes over, you know? 1325 00:58:50,358 --> 00:58:51,894 Yeah, she does. 1326 00:59:01,603 --> 00:59:02,672 Like it. 1327 00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:07,143 - What's that? - It's got your name on it. 1328 00:59:07,175 --> 00:59:08,610 It's our demo. 1329 00:59:08,643 --> 00:59:11,112 - Oh, a demo? - Mm-hmm. 1330 00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:13,215 Ah, Yoni wrote a song. So, we... 1331 00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:15,050 So, we recorded it with my band. 1332 00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:16,786 Ah, you guys have a band? 1333 00:59:16,818 --> 00:59:18,054 - Yeah. - No way. 1334 00:59:18,086 --> 00:59:20,956 Ah, well, uh... Not really. 1335 00:59:20,989 --> 00:59:22,658 We just put together a couple guys. 1336 00:59:23,958 --> 00:59:25,327 You-you put together a couple guys 1337 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,028 and you didn't tell me about it? 1338 00:59:27,061 --> 00:59:29,130 We wanted to go in a different direction. 1339 00:59:29,164 --> 00:59:31,767 Wait, are you... Are you kidding me? 1340 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,869 Mack, chill. It's just a demo. 1341 00:59:33,902 --> 00:59:35,605 I am chill. But if it's just a demo, 1342 00:59:35,637 --> 00:59:37,373 then why didn't you tell me about it, Lenny? 1343 00:59:37,405 --> 00:59:39,041 We didn't want you to be upset. 1344 00:59:39,074 --> 00:59:41,277 We? We, you two we, now? 1345 00:59:42,911 --> 00:59:44,079 What happened to our we? 1346 00:59:47,682 --> 00:59:48,985 You know what? Fine. 1347 00:59:49,018 --> 00:59:50,153 Fine. 1348 00:59:52,855 --> 00:59:56,659 We can go on jury duty now. They accept anyone. 1349 00:59:56,692 --> 00:59:58,126 Well surely, that's good. 1350 00:59:58,159 --> 01:00:00,962 It's terrible. I mean, "Hey, I'm blind". 1351 01:00:00,996 --> 01:00:02,664 That was always my best excuse. 1352 01:00:03,965 --> 01:00:05,266 Ah! Ooh, God! 1353 01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:06,936 Oh, my goodness. Are you alright? 1354 01:00:06,969 --> 01:00:09,838 Yeah, I think I've cracked my knee cap. 1355 01:00:09,871 --> 01:00:12,074 Oh, dear, oh, God. Welcome to my world. 1356 01:00:12,106 --> 01:00:14,009 Ah. Do you think we could afford 1357 01:00:14,043 --> 01:00:15,311 to have the lights on a bit? 1358 01:00:15,344 --> 01:00:17,313 Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Yes. 1359 01:00:17,346 --> 01:00:19,981 I don't use them very often, 1360 01:00:20,014 --> 01:00:22,317 - but there we go. - Oh, yes. 1361 01:00:22,351 --> 01:00:25,387 Wow! You really look great. 1362 01:00:26,954 --> 01:00:28,356 Ah, here's the problem. 1363 01:00:28,389 --> 01:00:31,793 Coffee table. It should be more over here. 1364 01:00:31,827 --> 01:00:33,295 Thank you. No, no. Huh-uh. 1365 01:00:33,327 --> 01:00:35,096 No, out of the traffic flow, because... 1366 01:00:35,130 --> 01:00:37,032 No, actually, it's quite good here. 1367 01:00:37,065 --> 01:00:39,067 Yeah. Well, I know it's quite good here. 1368 01:00:39,101 --> 01:00:42,003 But I mean, it'd be much better a bit over here. 1369 01:00:42,036 --> 01:00:44,005 - You know what might be fun? - What? 1370 01:00:44,039 --> 01:00:46,676 Well, there's this OCD seminar 1371 01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:48,309 at the Convention Center this weekend. 1372 01:00:50,311 --> 01:00:52,280 I know. 1373 01:00:52,313 --> 01:00:54,082 See, I'm laughing. 1374 01:00:54,115 --> 01:00:55,818 - Am I cured? - Far from it. 1375 01:00:57,786 --> 01:00:59,422 Are these your pictures? 1376 01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:03,092 Oh. Yes, yes. 1377 01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,296 It was early evening, 1378 01:01:07,329 --> 01:01:09,798 I heard thunder, so, I started to shoot the clouds, 1379 01:01:09,831 --> 01:01:13,234 but just then I heard a frantic, shrill whistle. 1380 01:01:13,268 --> 01:01:15,304 I turned to shoot it, 1381 01:01:15,336 --> 01:01:17,840 it was a bicycle messenger about to hit me. 1382 01:01:17,873 --> 01:01:19,407 Yeah. 1383 01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:22,077 And the one next to it is actually after he hit me. 1384 01:01:22,110 --> 01:01:23,813 Oh, and he doesn't look too happy. 1385 01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:25,748 - No. - And this one? 1386 01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:27,983 Oh, yes, the bus just missed me, 1387 01:01:28,016 --> 01:01:29,284 but it took out a fire hydrant. 1388 01:01:30,485 --> 01:01:32,420 I never realized that photography 1389 01:01:32,454 --> 01:01:34,023 was an extreme sport. 1390 01:01:35,190 --> 01:01:36,925 They're fantastic pictures. 1391 01:01:36,958 --> 01:01:38,460 You're very talented. 1392 01:01:38,494 --> 01:01:40,762 Thank you. Hmm. 1393 01:01:40,795 --> 01:01:42,330 Come here. 1394 01:01:42,364 --> 01:01:44,733 Oh, you wanna kiss me? 1395 01:01:44,766 --> 01:01:47,068 I do, in the worst way. 1396 01:01:47,101 --> 01:01:49,170 Well, I hope not. 1397 01:01:49,204 --> 01:01:52,175 But let's see how it goes. 1398 01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,047 - Oh. - Mm. 1399 01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:00,048 What? Are you nervous? 1400 01:02:01,115 --> 01:02:02,284 It's been a long time. 1401 01:02:04,987 --> 01:02:06,155 You're gay? 1402 01:02:06,188 --> 01:02:07,256 No, I'm not gay. 1403 01:02:07,289 --> 01:02:08,791 Then, what? 1404 01:02:08,824 --> 01:02:11,494 It's just, I'm... I'm insecure. 1405 01:02:11,527 --> 01:02:12,894 I haven't done this for... 1406 01:02:12,927 --> 01:02:14,763 But how insecure? 1407 01:02:14,797 --> 01:02:16,766 - Very insecure. - Oh. 1408 01:02:16,798 --> 01:02:19,402 - Mm. - Oh. 1409 01:02:23,304 --> 01:02:25,273 Oh. Ah. 1410 01:02:26,541 --> 01:02:28,277 Oh, Larry. 1411 01:02:28,309 --> 01:02:30,913 Nobody ever calls me Larry. 1412 01:02:30,945 --> 01:02:32,114 I do. 1413 01:02:35,016 --> 01:02:36,384 - Mmm. - Yes. 1414 01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:39,121 Mmm. 1415 01:02:40,521 --> 01:02:43,159 What you doing? 1416 01:02:43,192 --> 01:02:44,994 I'm learning your body. 1417 01:02:45,027 --> 01:02:46,461 Oh, God. 1418 01:02:46,494 --> 01:02:50,132 I promise you, I'll start working out tomorrow. 1419 01:02:50,164 --> 01:02:52,134 Yeah. Start now. 1420 01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,402 Start now. 1421 01:02:57,873 --> 01:02:59,508 Yeah. Your ex sounds incredibly flaky, 1422 01:02:59,541 --> 01:03:02,077 how terrible for you. But listen to me very carefully, 1423 01:03:02,110 --> 01:03:03,579 I don't give a shit. 1424 01:03:03,612 --> 01:03:05,880 You were supposed to be here at four yesterday. 1425 01:03:05,914 --> 01:03:07,950 I waited until seven, you didn't show. 1426 01:03:07,983 --> 01:03:09,518 You're harshing my vibe. 1427 01:03:09,550 --> 01:03:11,519 No dude, you're harshing my vibe. 1428 01:03:11,552 --> 01:03:14,222 I'm about to hang up and call my caterer, Lawrence Phillips. 1429 01:03:14,255 --> 01:03:15,356 Yeah, that... 1430 01:03:15,389 --> 01:03:16,893 Ah, dammit! 1431 01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:20,596 Hello? Just... 1432 01:03:20,628 --> 01:03:22,964 get here before 8:00 AM, okay? 1433 01:03:22,998 --> 01:03:25,967 You win. Get here at 8:00 AM and one second, you lose. 1434 01:03:26,001 --> 01:03:28,204 - Okay? Thank you. - You need some help? 1435 01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:29,605 Hi-ya! 1436 01:03:29,637 --> 01:03:32,240 Oh, my God! 1437 01:03:32,273 --> 01:03:34,542 Oh, my God, Mack, I am so sorry! I... 1438 01:03:34,576 --> 01:03:36,512 - Are you okay? I... - I'm sorry I scared you. 1439 01:03:36,545 --> 01:03:39,081 I'm sorry I maimed you. Are you okay? 1440 01:03:39,114 --> 01:03:41,550 You're tough. I feel bad for the guy on the phone. 1441 01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:43,853 No, don't. It's a seated dinner. 1442 01:03:43,885 --> 01:03:46,054 It's a little difficult to do without chairs. 1443 01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:47,489 Had to elevate the threat level. 1444 01:03:47,521 --> 01:03:49,157 I just didn't think somebody would be 1445 01:03:49,190 --> 01:03:50,893 eavesdropping at 6:00 AM. 1446 01:03:50,925 --> 01:03:52,927 No, I got here at four. Slept in the car. 1447 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,262 Why? 1448 01:03:54,295 --> 01:03:56,264 Rough night. Got into some weirdness 1449 01:03:56,297 --> 01:03:58,199 and... Ah, nothin'. 1450 01:03:58,233 --> 01:04:00,035 I wanted to see you. 1451 01:04:00,068 --> 01:04:03,239 But not in a stalking way. 1452 01:04:03,271 --> 01:04:05,039 Lying in wait and creeping up behind me 1453 01:04:05,072 --> 01:04:06,975 is really the classic definition of stalker. 1454 01:04:07,009 --> 01:04:09,010 I had the crazy thought I could come in, 1455 01:04:09,043 --> 01:04:12,114 and sweep you off your feet, but you swept me off mine 1456 01:04:12,146 --> 01:04:14,083 So, you owe me breakfast. 1457 01:04:14,115 --> 01:04:16,885 I mean, oh, okay. I... 1458 01:04:16,918 --> 01:04:20,521 My day is insane and just got more insane, 1459 01:04:20,554 --> 01:04:23,893 But yeah. Look, give me a second, 1460 01:04:23,925 --> 01:04:26,494 and I could definitely use a refill. 1461 01:04:26,527 --> 01:04:27,629 Ah. 1462 01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:30,298 Larry? 1463 01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,568 Larry? 1464 01:04:35,269 --> 01:04:36,338 Ah. 1465 01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:37,673 What... 1466 01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,608 A note? 1467 01:04:39,641 --> 01:04:41,443 Oh, God. 1468 01:04:41,476 --> 01:04:45,014 I have fallen in love with the dumbest man in history. 1469 01:04:49,184 --> 01:04:50,452 Ah! 1470 01:04:52,253 --> 01:04:54,422 Oh! Shit! 1471 01:04:54,456 --> 01:04:55,691 Oh. 1472 01:04:55,724 --> 01:04:57,992 Okay, that barista was so judgy. 1473 01:04:58,025 --> 01:05:00,596 She was like, "Is this your second red-eye in 15 minutes?" 1474 01:05:00,628 --> 01:05:02,397 It's like, "Oh, are you keeping score 1475 01:05:02,431 --> 01:05:05,467 - on my caffeine intake?" - Mm. Who cares? 1476 01:05:07,235 --> 01:05:09,105 - Oh! - Mm! So close. 1477 01:05:14,509 --> 01:05:16,644 - Here, gimme. - Hold this. Okay. 1478 01:05:16,677 --> 01:05:17,980 - Oh, wow. - Oh, yeah. 1479 01:05:18,012 --> 01:05:19,347 Going for the big... 1480 01:05:19,380 --> 01:05:20,982 You're taking this very seriously. 1481 01:05:21,016 --> 01:05:22,518 - Oh! - Yes! 1482 01:05:22,550 --> 01:05:24,953 - Wow. Nice shot. - Here, it's easy. 1483 01:05:26,454 --> 01:05:28,222 - Try again. - No, thanks. 1484 01:05:28,255 --> 01:05:30,458 - No? - I suck at basketball 1485 01:05:30,492 --> 01:05:33,028 and plastic bottle into the trash-ket ball. 1486 01:05:33,061 --> 01:05:35,364 I'm just a musician and I'm fine with it, you know? 1487 01:05:35,396 --> 01:05:37,099 I don't have to make the winning shot 1488 01:05:37,132 --> 01:05:38,233 at the buzzer every time. 1489 01:05:38,266 --> 01:05:40,269 I do. Every time. 1490 01:05:41,769 --> 01:05:43,304 With everything. 1491 01:05:43,338 --> 01:05:44,506 Everything's a lot. 1492 01:05:44,539 --> 01:05:46,642 Yeah, it's a lot. 1493 01:05:46,675 --> 01:05:49,577 Mm. How many of those ones do you remember? 1494 01:05:49,610 --> 01:05:52,614 Hmm, definitely the ones from middle school. 1495 01:05:55,016 --> 01:05:56,152 Lately, just enough. 1496 01:05:57,652 --> 01:06:00,222 Why don't you just float on some of them 1497 01:06:00,255 --> 01:06:03,025 and just save your beautiful energy for the big ones? 1498 01:06:06,460 --> 01:06:08,029 Who are you? 1499 01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,431 What? 1500 01:06:09,463 --> 01:06:12,433 How do you... know me? 1501 01:06:12,467 --> 01:06:16,105 I don't know you, but I'd like to. 1502 01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:20,041 So, 1503 01:06:20,074 --> 01:06:21,977 I'm just coming off of 1504 01:06:23,478 --> 01:06:27,416 what I thought was me getting dumped, again. 1505 01:06:27,449 --> 01:06:30,085 But, actually, I was more the dumper than the dumpee. 1506 01:06:33,588 --> 01:06:37,092 But I think I should take a little time 1507 01:06:37,125 --> 01:06:40,161 to chill and figure out the difference between 1508 01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,099 losing to someone 1509 01:06:44,465 --> 01:06:45,668 and losing them. 1510 01:06:50,472 --> 01:06:53,075 Well, good luck with that. 1511 01:06:53,108 --> 01:06:54,643 I'll be watching you from my car. 1512 01:06:54,675 --> 01:06:56,677 - If you need anything. - Oh, great! 1513 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,617 I have to go grab my guy, the table and chair rental guy. 1514 01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,052 - Oh, yeah. You go. - So. 1515 01:07:04,085 --> 01:07:05,620 - You go do that. - Okay. 1516 01:07:05,653 --> 01:07:08,556 I'll... see you soon. 1517 01:07:08,590 --> 01:07:10,192 It was fun. 1518 01:07:10,224 --> 01:07:11,460 See you later. 1519 01:07:14,096 --> 01:07:16,731 Are these the ones they delivered? 1520 01:07:16,764 --> 01:07:18,400 - Yes. - Well, I'm not sure 1521 01:07:18,432 --> 01:07:20,302 they're gonna do a lot of... 1522 01:07:22,737 --> 01:07:24,106 Sara. 1523 01:07:24,139 --> 01:07:26,275 Give me a moment, will you? 1524 01:07:26,307 --> 01:07:27,675 This is a surprise! 1525 01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:30,846 Oh. Oh, I just came by 1526 01:07:30,878 --> 01:07:33,581 so you could read this to me. 1527 01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:37,852 Oh, my God! I left you a note. I'm so silly. 1528 01:07:37,885 --> 01:07:39,822 Make sure you give it back to me, though, 1529 01:07:39,855 --> 01:07:42,123 because I do wanna get it framed. 1530 01:07:42,157 --> 01:07:43,592 So, read it. Read it, please. 1531 01:07:46,561 --> 01:07:48,430 "Good morning, sweetheart. 1532 01:07:48,463 --> 01:07:52,134 I had to go to work, but I can't wait to see you later. 1533 01:07:53,568 --> 01:07:54,636 Kisses, 1534 01:07:54,668 --> 01:07:56,270 Larry." 1535 01:07:56,304 --> 01:07:58,673 Nothing about, "I changed all the furniture 1536 01:07:58,706 --> 01:08:01,375 in your apartment. So, do be careful. 1537 01:08:01,409 --> 01:08:02,878 You could get killed"? 1538 01:08:02,911 --> 01:08:04,746 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, yeah? 1539 01:08:04,778 --> 01:08:07,349 Why didn't you just move the bed next to the window 1540 01:08:07,382 --> 01:08:10,152 so I could plunge to my death without getting up? 1541 01:08:10,184 --> 01:08:12,453 I just want to make everything perfect for you. 1542 01:08:12,487 --> 01:08:14,690 Your perfect is just fine. 1543 01:08:14,722 --> 01:08:16,390 But it isn't gonna save me. 1544 01:08:16,423 --> 01:08:20,162 And obviously, you are too blind to see that. 1545 01:08:20,194 --> 01:08:23,631 Here, Teddy. Let's go, Teddy. Up, good boy. 1546 01:08:23,664 --> 01:08:25,766 We don't wanna bang into anything else. 1547 01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,270 I've only got one neck, after all. 1548 01:08:28,302 --> 01:08:29,438 Good, Teddy. 1549 01:08:29,470 --> 01:08:32,473 Uh... Uh... 1550 01:08:32,506 --> 01:08:35,743 ♪ I leapt ♪ 1551 01:08:35,777 --> 01:08:38,279 ♪ Before I looked ♪ 1552 01:08:40,314 --> 01:08:43,851 ♪ I never learned ♪ 1553 01:08:43,885 --> 01:08:47,256 ♪ And now I'm cooked ♪ 1554 01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:52,494 ♪ Shoulda had a plan ♪ 1555 01:08:52,527 --> 01:08:55,197 ♪ Shoulda up and ran ♪ 1556 01:08:55,229 --> 01:08:57,598 ♪ I got the break-up ♪ 1557 01:08:57,631 --> 01:09:01,469 ♪ The break-up blues ♪ 1558 01:09:03,305 --> 01:09:07,309 ♪ What the hell? ♪ 1559 01:09:07,341 --> 01:09:10,411 ♪ And what the heck? ♪ 1560 01:09:10,444 --> 01:09:14,582 ♪ Seems I can't find love ♪ 1561 01:09:14,615 --> 01:09:18,520 ♪ Without risking your neck ♪ 1562 01:09:20,255 --> 01:09:23,225 ♪ Probably should have known ♪ 1563 01:09:23,257 --> 01:09:26,327 ♪ Now I'm all alone ♪ 1564 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,796 ♪ I got the break-up ♪ 1565 01:09:28,829 --> 01:09:32,600 ♪ The break-up blues ♪ 1566 01:09:34,002 --> 01:09:36,405 ♪ 'Cause I got the break-up ♪ 1567 01:09:37,805 --> 01:09:41,342 ♪ I got the break-up, oh ♪ 1568 01:09:41,376 --> 01:09:43,846 ♪ I got the break-up ♪ 1569 01:09:45,279 --> 01:09:47,715 ♪ I got the break-up ♪ 1570 01:09:49,417 --> 01:09:52,354 ♪ I got the break-up ♪ 1571 01:09:52,386 --> 01:09:57,491 ♪ The break-up blues ♪ 1572 01:10:07,502 --> 01:10:09,371 Yes? Yes? 1573 01:10:09,404 --> 01:10:10,639 It's me. 1574 01:10:10,671 --> 01:10:11,772 Who? 1575 01:10:11,805 --> 01:10:12,840 Larry. 1576 01:10:14,376 --> 01:10:15,711 I really... I don't know a Larry. 1577 01:10:15,743 --> 01:10:17,445 Lawrence. 1578 01:10:18,846 --> 01:10:20,481 Uh-huh. Oh. 1579 01:10:20,515 --> 01:10:21,783 Can I come up? 1580 01:10:21,815 --> 01:10:22,917 Well... 1581 01:10:24,586 --> 01:10:25,588 Certainly. 1582 01:10:31,525 --> 01:10:32,493 Um... 1583 01:10:33,795 --> 01:10:35,831 I'm sorry. 1584 01:10:35,863 --> 01:10:38,899 I've messed up before and I'll probably mess up again, 1585 01:10:38,932 --> 01:10:41,470 but look, don't give up on me. 1586 01:10:41,502 --> 01:10:42,904 Okay. 1587 01:10:46,006 --> 01:10:47,808 - I got you this. - Ah? 1588 01:10:47,841 --> 01:10:48,943 Here. 1589 01:10:51,712 --> 01:10:52,680 Okay. 1590 01:10:59,654 --> 01:11:00,889 Hmm? 1591 01:11:00,921 --> 01:11:01,956 Oh. 1592 01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:05,060 Is this a scarf? 1593 01:11:05,092 --> 01:11:06,560 It's a blindfold. 1594 01:11:06,594 --> 01:11:08,529 - Ah? - For me. 1595 01:11:10,597 --> 01:11:11,966 Open my eyes. 1596 01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,769 Let me see what you see. 1597 01:11:18,872 --> 01:11:20,041 Now, we go out... 1598 01:11:24,546 --> 01:11:25,579 Good. 1599 01:11:25,613 --> 01:11:27,416 Wait, wait, wait. 1600 01:11:27,448 --> 01:11:30,085 No, I don't... Oh, yes, I do. One, two, three, four. 1601 01:11:30,118 --> 01:11:31,853 - Right. Yes! - Now, follow it over. 1602 01:11:31,886 --> 01:11:34,623 Ah! What's that? 1603 01:11:34,655 --> 01:11:36,658 - No, smell it. - Oh. 1604 01:11:47,702 --> 01:11:48,970 Oh! Okay. 1605 01:11:49,002 --> 01:11:50,505 - Okay, can I go home now? - Yes. 1606 01:11:50,537 --> 01:11:52,073 Of course. Yes, here. 1607 01:11:56,077 --> 01:11:57,846 No, no. Here. 1608 01:11:59,814 --> 01:12:01,083 All right, all right. 1609 01:12:01,115 --> 01:12:03,452 Feel to your right for the railing. 1610 01:12:03,484 --> 01:12:05,052 - The rail... Oh, wait... - Ah. Don't you go! 1611 01:12:05,086 --> 01:12:07,689 - Ah! No, wait! Oh, God! - Don't let go! 1612 01:12:07,721 --> 01:12:09,925 - Lawrence... Oh! - Wait, wait, wait! 1613 01:12:09,957 --> 01:12:11,659 What... Are you okay? 1614 01:12:11,693 --> 01:12:14,529 - What? - I can't, I can't, I can't! 1615 01:12:14,561 --> 01:12:16,965 Larry, oh, my God! Larry! Are you okay? 1616 01:12:16,997 --> 01:12:19,667 Larry, Larry, don't sit. 1617 01:12:21,168 --> 01:12:22,938 - Oh! - Are you all right? 1618 01:12:22,970 --> 01:12:24,972 - I'm fine, I'm fine. - Okay. 1619 01:12:25,006 --> 01:12:26,807 I'm here. I'm waiting. 1620 01:12:26,841 --> 01:12:28,944 - I'm at... I don't know. - Oh! Oh! 1621 01:12:28,976 --> 01:12:30,612 Okay, I'm here to help. 1622 01:12:30,645 --> 01:12:32,080 Are you all right? Ah! Oh, my God! 1623 01:12:32,113 --> 01:12:34,649 No, no. No, don't... 1624 01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:36,585 Well, that was a piece of cake. 1625 01:12:37,886 --> 01:12:40,155 Okay, well, home at last. How do you feel? 1626 01:12:40,188 --> 01:12:41,757 Exhausted. 1627 01:12:41,789 --> 01:12:43,759 But thrilling. 1628 01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,527 - I mean, I had no inkling - Yeah. 1629 01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,162 - of what you went through. - Oh, well... 1630 01:12:47,194 --> 01:12:49,930 But I think I'm pretty good at this now. 1631 01:12:49,963 --> 01:12:51,733 - Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God! Oh! 1632 01:12:51,765 --> 01:12:54,569 - Ooh. - Uh, oh. Oh, dear. 1633 01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,878 ♪ Turns out we can't be ♪ 1634 01:13:03,912 --> 01:13:05,981 ♪ Perfect in love ♪ 1635 01:13:07,582 --> 01:13:09,151 ♪ 'Cause love ain't perfect ♪ 1636 01:13:09,184 --> 01:13:11,119 ♪ No, not at all ♪ 1637 01:13:12,921 --> 01:13:15,724 ♪ Ain't no secret Love ain't pure ♪ 1638 01:13:15,756 --> 01:13:18,559 ♪ Don't wanna miss it That's for sure ♪ 1639 01:13:18,592 --> 01:13:21,061 ♪ The other version Of this song ♪ 1640 01:13:21,095 --> 01:13:23,131 ♪ Turned out all wrong ♪ 1641 01:13:23,163 --> 01:13:25,966 ♪ If you don't claim love ♪ 1642 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:28,770 ♪ The blame is on us ♪ 1643 01:13:28,802 --> 01:13:29,904 Come on! 1644 01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:31,873 ♪ We fell in love ♪ 1645 01:13:31,905 --> 01:13:34,909 ♪ We love the fuss ♪ 1646 01:13:36,610 --> 01:13:41,182 ♪ Jump together under the bus ♪ 1647 01:13:41,216 --> 01:13:44,553 ♪ If we don't claim love ♪ 1648 01:13:44,586 --> 01:13:46,088 ♪ Blame us ♪ 1649 01:13:48,756 --> 01:13:53,462 ♪ If love is crazy Sign me up ♪ 1650 01:13:53,494 --> 01:13:54,829 Oop! 1651 01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:58,033 ♪ Check me in and lock me up ♪ 1652 01:14:00,601 --> 01:14:02,671 - Oh! Ooh! - ♪ If love is blind ♪ 1653 01:14:02,703 --> 01:14:04,773 - Oh-ho. Mmm! - ♪ Then take my sight ♪ 1654 01:14:04,805 --> 01:14:06,474 Mm! Mm! 1655 01:14:06,507 --> 01:14:08,108 - Is that good? - ♪ If love is tough ♪ 1656 01:14:08,141 --> 01:14:12,079 ♪ Let's dance all night! ♪ 1657 01:14:12,113 --> 01:14:14,916 ♪ If we don't claim love ♪ 1658 01:14:14,948 --> 01:14:17,185 ♪ If we don't claim love ♪ 1659 01:14:18,752 --> 01:14:21,590 ♪ If we don't claim love ♪ 1660 01:14:21,622 --> 01:14:23,458 ♪ The blame is on us ♪ 1661 01:14:28,262 --> 01:14:29,965 Oh. Just keep going. 1662 01:14:29,997 --> 01:14:31,198 No, stop. 1663 01:14:31,231 --> 01:14:33,100 I was kidding. Joke 1664 01:14:37,005 --> 01:14:38,539 - Hey. - Hey! 1665 01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:39,807 This is Zhopa. 1666 01:14:39,841 --> 01:14:41,877 Very nice meeting you, Mr. Mayor. 1667 01:14:41,909 --> 01:14:43,677 Oh, well, I'm not mayor yet. 1668 01:14:43,711 --> 01:14:47,115 An election? We could fixing that. 1669 01:14:47,148 --> 01:14:48,650 Thanks, I think we're good. 1670 01:14:48,682 --> 01:14:50,851 - This Menny. - Manny! 1671 01:14:50,885 --> 01:14:52,220 - Menny. - Menny. 1672 01:14:52,252 --> 01:14:54,523 - This Ivan. - Ivan! 1673 01:14:54,555 --> 01:14:55,689 Ivan! 1674 01:14:55,722 --> 01:14:57,158 Great. Nice to meet you all. 1675 01:14:57,190 --> 01:14:58,993 We are late and we are leaving. 1676 01:15:02,063 --> 01:15:03,065 After you. 1677 01:15:20,847 --> 01:15:22,583 What the heck is this? 1678 01:15:23,784 --> 01:15:24,952 Ah, come on! 1679 01:15:26,587 --> 01:15:27,721 This is bad. 1680 01:15:27,755 --> 01:15:29,757 This is not good. 1681 01:15:31,359 --> 01:15:34,729 Okay. One of the perks about duck boating is this. 1682 01:15:34,761 --> 01:15:35,996 Victor, show 'em. 1683 01:15:36,029 --> 01:15:38,332 Hey, Prius, move it! 1684 01:15:38,365 --> 01:15:40,769 Drive it all the way forward. Thank you so much! 1685 01:15:40,801 --> 01:15:42,603 Trying to meet the love of my life, 1686 01:15:42,636 --> 01:15:44,572 no big deal. Very big deal. Go! Go! Go! 1687 01:15:44,605 --> 01:15:47,074 Come on! There you go! 1688 01:15:48,743 --> 01:15:49,911 That wasn't so hard. 1689 01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:51,246 We're dead. 1690 01:15:52,313 --> 01:15:54,583 No, we're not. 1691 01:16:03,957 --> 01:16:04,926 Hey! 1692 01:16:05,993 --> 01:16:08,697 Hey! Hey! Hey! 1693 01:16:08,729 --> 01:16:10,030 Hey! Hey! 1694 01:16:10,064 --> 01:16:12,000 Hey, I'm Robert Barton. 1695 01:16:12,033 --> 01:16:13,335 I'm running for mayor. 1696 01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,003 Oh, that's weird, 1697 01:16:15,036 --> 01:16:16,337 'cause you actually are running. 1698 01:16:16,371 --> 01:16:18,239 You have my vote, thank you. 1699 01:16:18,271 --> 01:16:20,875 But now I'm running late, so, I got to go. All right? 1700 01:16:20,908 --> 01:16:22,744 No-no-no-no-no-no. Wait, wait, wait! 1701 01:16:22,777 --> 01:16:24,846 Stop, stop, stop! 1702 01:16:24,878 --> 01:16:26,347 You can't go! I'm late! 1703 01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:29,651 - For what? - I'm getting married! 1704 01:16:29,684 --> 01:16:31,052 I'm meeting my true love. 1705 01:16:31,085 --> 01:16:33,121 - We'll go with you. - What? 1706 01:16:33,154 --> 01:16:35,757 This is the Cinderella guy. 1707 01:16:35,789 --> 01:16:37,292 That's TV press up there. 1708 01:16:37,324 --> 01:16:39,260 With this boat, we've got just enough time 1709 01:16:39,292 --> 01:16:41,762 to go pick up his woman, then over to your wedding, 1710 01:16:41,796 --> 01:16:44,332 and you become the romance king of Boston. 1711 01:16:44,364 --> 01:16:47,335 You wanna stop being a stiff? Here's your chance. 1712 01:16:49,703 --> 01:16:51,038 We're gonna go with you! 1713 01:16:51,072 --> 01:16:53,041 Great! Welcome aboard! Let's go! 1714 01:16:53,073 --> 01:16:55,009 Let down the ladder. Victor, punch it! 1715 01:16:56,243 --> 01:16:58,078 Yes, let's go! 1716 01:16:58,112 --> 01:16:59,847 I love helping strangers! 1717 01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:03,952 All aboard, life vests on. 1718 01:17:03,984 --> 01:17:05,719 Who knows if this thing still floats? 1719 01:17:05,752 --> 01:17:07,389 I mean, it should. It's FDA approved. 1720 01:17:07,421 --> 01:17:08,822 Whatever that means. 1721 01:17:08,855 --> 01:17:10,858 We're heading out to sea, hang on. 1722 01:17:10,891 --> 01:17:12,260 I hope you can swim. 1723 01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,996 I am not lifeguard certified. 1724 01:17:17,765 --> 01:17:18,767 Yeah. 1725 01:17:19,966 --> 01:17:21,168 - Put this over here? - Yep. 1726 01:17:21,202 --> 01:17:22,369 Hey. 1727 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,872 - Hey! - How's it goin'? 1728 01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:25,372 You look amazingly calm. 1729 01:17:25,405 --> 01:17:27,442 Amazingly everything's going like clockwork, so. 1730 01:17:27,475 --> 01:17:29,978 - No glitches? - Nope. I'm a pro. 1731 01:17:30,011 --> 01:17:31,780 Been at this a whole eight days. 1732 01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:33,381 I'm not surprised at all. 1733 01:17:33,413 --> 01:17:36,018 So, you maybe doin' some thinking? 1734 01:17:39,854 --> 01:17:42,891 Yeah, I've been doing that. Yep. 1735 01:17:42,923 --> 01:17:44,926 And how am I doin'? 1736 01:17:44,958 --> 01:17:46,360 Um... 1737 01:17:47,962 --> 01:17:49,197 Pretty good. 1738 01:17:49,229 --> 01:17:51,765 Aw, just pretty good? Come on. 1739 01:17:56,203 --> 01:17:57,171 Bev? 1740 01:17:58,805 --> 01:18:00,074 Wait... What? 1741 01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:01,476 A duck boat? 1742 01:18:01,509 --> 01:18:03,444 Are you crazy? You would never make it. 1743 01:18:04,779 --> 01:18:05,747 Bev? 1744 01:18:07,448 --> 01:18:08,817 Dammit! 1745 01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:10,351 - Glitch? - Huge glitch. 1746 01:18:10,384 --> 01:18:12,386 Planning a wedding that might not have a groom. 1747 01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:16,090 - Son of a bitch! - What? 1748 01:18:16,123 --> 01:18:18,292 Lenny quit. I can't believe it! 1749 01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:19,961 - You're kidding, right? - No. 1750 01:18:19,993 --> 01:18:22,130 But I'll just call some people, okay? 1751 01:18:22,162 --> 01:18:24,031 - And I'll fix... - Not kidding. 1752 01:18:24,064 --> 01:18:25,032 Son of a... 1753 01:18:26,333 --> 01:18:28,135 ♪ If love is tough ♪ 1754 01:18:28,168 --> 01:18:31,238 ♪ Let's dance all night ♪ 1755 01:18:31,271 --> 01:18:32,873 ♪ Don't blame love... ♪ 1756 01:18:32,907 --> 01:18:34,743 Sorry, could I talk to you for one second? 1757 01:18:34,775 --> 01:18:36,443 Hi, I'm kind of in the middle of somethin' here. 1758 01:18:36,476 --> 01:18:38,880 I understand. I'm so sorry, just one second. 1759 01:18:38,912 --> 01:18:42,049 I come by here every day. I love you, you're great. 1760 01:18:42,082 --> 01:18:43,350 Can you be in a band? 1761 01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:45,153 - Oh, I don't... - Like, right now. 1762 01:18:45,185 --> 01:18:49,156 Sorry, what I meant to say was, right now, please, 1763 01:18:49,189 --> 01:18:51,158 because two minutes ago, across the street, 1764 01:18:51,192 --> 01:18:53,360 at my wedding... Not my wedding... 1765 01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:56,331 But anyway, half of our band just quit. 1766 01:18:56,363 --> 01:19:00,468 So, you could be the new other half, and... 1767 01:19:03,104 --> 01:19:04,506 Just please, help me out. 1768 01:19:04,538 --> 01:19:06,073 I really can't let this couple down. 1769 01:19:06,106 --> 01:19:09,077 It just has to be their perfect day. 1770 01:19:09,109 --> 01:19:11,011 And I will carry your stuff... 1771 01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:13,047 I don't play in bands, I work alone. 1772 01:19:13,079 --> 01:19:15,850 I get that. 1773 01:19:15,882 --> 01:19:19,320 I know I sound crazy. I'm just desperate. 1774 01:19:21,087 --> 01:19:22,423 He comes, too. 1775 01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:26,293 I thought you only work alone? 1776 01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:28,029 I was wrong. 1777 01:19:28,061 --> 01:19:29,229 What's his name? 1778 01:19:29,262 --> 01:19:30,564 I don't know. 1779 01:19:30,597 --> 01:19:33,201 Mister Guitar Man, 1780 01:19:33,234 --> 01:19:35,069 would you care to join... 1781 01:19:35,101 --> 01:19:38,372 - Jordan. - Jordan, in our new band? 1782 01:19:38,405 --> 01:19:41,909 - Happy to. Yeah. - Amazing! Okay! 1783 01:19:50,451 --> 01:19:53,288 Where're you off to? A gig? Need brass? 1784 01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:54,922 Oh, definitely. 1785 01:19:56,056 --> 01:19:57,958 Can I join the parade? 1786 01:19:57,992 --> 01:19:59,127 Why not? 1787 01:20:09,936 --> 01:20:11,972 It's exactly five o'clock, and I'm here live 1788 01:20:12,006 --> 01:20:13,541 with our own Prince Charming 1789 01:20:13,573 --> 01:20:15,409 who's hoping to find Cinderella waiting for him 1790 01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:17,045 right here in the park. 1791 01:20:17,078 --> 01:20:19,547 Romance is alive and well, and even though 1792 01:20:19,579 --> 01:20:21,850 his own wedding is scheduled at six pm tonight, 1793 01:20:21,882 --> 01:20:23,917 Robert Barton came here to be part of this. 1794 01:20:23,951 --> 01:20:26,386 This is what makes Boston the greatest city in the world 1795 01:20:26,420 --> 01:20:28,222 - and I just couldn't keep... - Let's do this. 1796 01:20:28,256 --> 01:20:30,158 - We're doing this. - Stay tuned. 1797 01:20:38,899 --> 01:20:40,067 There he is! 1798 01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:42,202 Oh! 1799 01:20:42,235 --> 01:20:43,904 Hey. 1800 01:20:45,538 --> 01:20:47,140 Is she here? 1801 01:20:47,173 --> 01:20:48,376 Who's to know? It's so crazy. 1802 01:20:50,043 --> 01:20:52,881 Everybody shutting up! 1803 01:20:52,913 --> 01:20:55,483 Thank you. Now, lining up 1804 01:20:55,515 --> 01:20:58,452 so that Mr. Ritchie can finding his girlfriend. 1805 01:20:58,485 --> 01:21:02,055 Huh? Lining up, lining up. Go, go, go! 1806 01:21:02,088 --> 01:21:04,225 What would we do without the mafia? Thank you! 1807 01:21:04,257 --> 01:21:05,592 - Thank you very much. - Okay. 1808 01:21:05,626 --> 01:21:08,363 - Um, hi. - Hi. 1809 01:21:08,395 --> 01:21:10,597 How are you? Thank you. Thank you for coming. 1810 01:21:10,631 --> 01:21:12,432 - I love that. It's amazing. - Hi! 1811 01:21:12,466 --> 01:21:14,636 All right. Sorry, pal. 1812 01:21:14,668 --> 01:21:17,037 Actually, no, let me get a selfie. 1813 01:21:17,070 --> 01:21:18,907 My mom's never going to believe this. 1814 01:21:18,939 --> 01:21:21,108 Mark Wahlberg tried to win my heart. 1815 01:21:21,141 --> 01:21:22,309 Bam! 1816 01:21:22,342 --> 01:21:23,577 Thank you so much for comin'. 1817 01:21:23,610 --> 01:21:25,445 Thank you. All right. 1818 01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:27,515 You're married, you shouldn't be here. Go home. 1819 01:21:27,547 --> 01:21:29,516 Hey. On the six-pack, I love it. 1820 01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:32,420 Ah! You're about to faint for me. Okay, girl. 1821 01:21:32,453 --> 01:21:35,290 On the leg, no-no, it's supposed to be on the neck. 1822 01:21:35,323 --> 01:21:36,691 Yeah, it's okay. 1823 01:21:36,724 --> 01:21:38,226 Hey, how are you guys? 1824 01:21:38,259 --> 01:21:40,395 Oh. That looks real. 1825 01:21:40,427 --> 01:21:42,997 Oh, on your wrist. Okay. 1826 01:21:43,029 --> 01:21:44,131 Cool. 1827 01:21:49,036 --> 01:21:50,005 Hey. 1828 01:21:56,543 --> 01:21:57,612 She's not here. 1829 01:22:08,622 --> 01:22:10,291 Ladies, you are all wonderful. 1830 01:22:10,323 --> 01:22:12,092 If it were legal, I'd set up a cult, 1831 01:22:12,126 --> 01:22:13,661 and I'd marry every one of you. 1832 01:22:13,694 --> 01:22:15,997 - I'll join! - Me, too! Yeah! 1833 01:22:18,064 --> 01:22:20,100 Unfortunately, we are late for a wedding. 1834 01:22:20,134 --> 01:22:21,569 And there's only one person 1835 01:22:21,601 --> 01:22:23,403 that can get us to the church on time. 1836 01:22:23,436 --> 01:22:25,506 Me, Captain Ritchie. So, I have to go. 1837 01:22:25,538 --> 01:22:26,707 Let's go, let's go! 1838 01:22:26,740 --> 01:22:29,042 Bye! 1839 01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:30,444 Bye! 1840 01:22:36,182 --> 01:22:37,752 Okay. Well, tell him to floor it. 1841 01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:42,757 - Oh, my God! - Ta-da! 1842 01:22:42,789 --> 01:22:45,025 Look at you! You look like a dream! 1843 01:22:45,059 --> 01:22:47,729 - Jessie! This is amazing! - Watch the stairs. 1844 01:22:47,761 --> 01:22:50,631 Oh, surprise. Yeah, zero emissions. 1845 01:22:51,564 --> 01:22:53,134 Well, kinda. 1846 01:22:53,167 --> 01:22:55,069 - Close enough. - More or less. 1847 01:22:55,101 --> 01:22:56,570 Okay. Here we go. Hop on. 1848 01:22:56,604 --> 01:22:58,073 Whoo-hoo! 1849 01:22:59,239 --> 01:23:01,108 Jessie, this is awesome! 1850 01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:04,112 You have truly created the perfect day. 1851 01:23:04,145 --> 01:23:06,447 Good. Okay, ready? 1852 01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:08,315 - Let's get you married. - Let's do it. 1853 01:23:08,349 --> 01:23:09,684 All right, we're ready. 1854 01:23:09,716 --> 01:23:11,551 Come on. Get up. 1855 01:23:11,585 --> 01:23:13,453 - How're you feeling? - Feeling good. Yeah. 1856 01:23:13,487 --> 01:23:15,023 Ah! 1857 01:23:15,055 --> 01:23:16,323 Oh, my God! 1858 01:23:16,356 --> 01:23:17,625 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I guess. 1859 01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:18,626 I mean, what happened? 1860 01:23:19,726 --> 01:23:22,063 - Uh, wow. - Is... What? 1861 01:23:22,095 --> 01:23:25,198 Your train is wrapped around the wheel spoke. 1862 01:23:25,231 --> 01:23:27,335 - You got it? - No. It's stuck. 1863 01:23:27,368 --> 01:23:29,504 You know what? Sir, can you back up a little bit 1864 01:23:29,537 --> 01:23:31,271 and just see if we can get it to unwind? 1865 01:23:31,305 --> 01:23:34,142 Stuck. She won't move. Can't go forward or back. 1866 01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,177 - This is a disaster. - One second. 1867 01:23:36,210 --> 01:23:38,512 - Hey, you guys. Need some help? - Hi. 1868 01:23:38,546 --> 01:23:40,213 I don't know. Jessie, do you... 1869 01:23:42,515 --> 01:23:44,684 The wedding trasher strikes again. 1870 01:23:44,717 --> 01:23:46,421 Hey! That girl is my friend. 1871 01:23:46,453 --> 01:23:48,221 Okay, you don't talk to my friend like that. 1872 01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:50,425 If you do, I will show you the dictionary definition 1873 01:23:50,457 --> 01:23:52,659 of the word "trasher.". You get it? 1874 01:23:52,693 --> 01:23:54,429 - Yes, ma'am. - Apologize to her! 1875 01:23:54,462 --> 01:23:56,597 I'm sorry. 1876 01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,466 Now beat it before I wrap your tricycle 1877 01:23:58,498 --> 01:23:59,768 around your fat head! 1878 01:24:03,537 --> 01:24:06,106 You! Stop! 1879 01:24:16,684 --> 01:24:20,253 Young lady, can I count on your vote in November? 1880 01:24:20,287 --> 01:24:23,490 Was this on the registry? 1881 01:24:43,444 --> 01:24:46,414 Bev, you did it! I love you! 1882 01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,449 Ooh! And I, much to my amazement, 1883 01:24:48,481 --> 01:24:50,417 am quite fond of you. 1884 01:24:50,451 --> 01:24:51,652 I've gotta go. 1885 01:24:54,354 --> 01:24:57,357 You are a hero. I can't thank you enough. 1886 01:24:57,390 --> 01:24:59,159 My pleasure, man. 1887 01:24:59,193 --> 01:25:00,261 Sorry about your girl. 1888 01:25:00,293 --> 01:25:02,363 She wasn't my girl. 1889 01:25:02,395 --> 01:25:03,398 Was just... 1890 01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:06,534 Crazy love. 1891 01:25:06,567 --> 01:25:08,136 It's all crazy. 1892 01:25:08,168 --> 01:25:11,139 Look, my bride, 1893 01:25:11,171 --> 01:25:12,706 three mafia goons, 1894 01:25:12,739 --> 01:25:14,407 and my brother chained to a stripper. 1895 01:25:14,440 --> 01:25:16,577 But in the end, you got the girl. 1896 01:25:16,609 --> 01:25:20,280 Come with me. It's gonna be a great party. 1897 01:25:20,314 --> 01:25:21,349 I'm good, thank you. 1898 01:25:22,615 --> 01:25:24,685 Okay. Thanks again. 1899 01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:28,355 Hey. 1900 01:25:29,489 --> 01:25:31,559 Don't give up on the crazy. 1901 01:25:31,591 --> 01:25:32,826 That's what makes love... 1902 01:25:34,662 --> 01:25:35,663 Love. 1903 01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:57,217 I've never seen an avocado do that. 1904 01:25:59,886 --> 01:26:01,721 So, remember, Robert, 1905 01:26:01,755 --> 01:26:03,658 when you hook up to the old ball and chain, 1906 01:26:03,690 --> 01:26:05,458 don't do it like I did. 1907 01:26:05,492 --> 01:26:07,427 She's got the balls and I've got the chain. 1908 01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:15,469 Hey, everybody! 1909 01:26:15,502 --> 01:26:17,305 How we doing? 1910 01:26:17,337 --> 01:26:19,439 All right. Thank you all so much for coming. 1911 01:26:19,472 --> 01:26:22,210 This is my first wedding, and hopefully my last. 1912 01:26:22,243 --> 01:26:23,778 Um... 1913 01:26:23,810 --> 01:26:26,546 And this great event was created by Jessie English. 1914 01:26:28,615 --> 01:26:32,252 Who, thankfully, decided not to parachute 1915 01:26:32,286 --> 01:26:34,454 through the top of a tent. 1916 01:26:34,488 --> 01:26:36,557 But seriously, Jessie, thank you so much. 1917 01:26:37,957 --> 01:26:39,759 Hey, what about me? 1918 01:26:39,792 --> 01:26:41,595 Oh, I'm sorry, and you are? 1919 01:26:42,895 --> 01:26:44,532 Have a good time, everybody! 1920 01:26:51,572 --> 01:26:53,541 Well, speaking of new marriages, 1921 01:26:53,573 --> 01:26:55,009 "Celebration"! 1922 01:27:02,382 --> 01:27:04,351 We don't know how to play it. 1923 01:27:09,756 --> 01:27:11,291 "Celebration." 1924 01:27:30,677 --> 01:27:32,279 ♪ Yahoo! ♪ 1925 01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:35,482 ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1926 01:27:38,985 --> 01:27:41,555 ♪ Yahoo! ♪ 1927 01:27:41,587 --> 01:27:43,690 - What's wrong? - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1928 01:27:43,724 --> 01:27:47,028 ♪ Celebrate good times Come on! ♪ 1929 01:27:47,060 --> 01:27:48,695 Look at that. 1930 01:27:48,729 --> 01:27:51,632 ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1931 01:27:51,664 --> 01:27:53,367 It's perfect. 1932 01:27:53,399 --> 01:27:55,635 ♪ Celebrate good times Come on! ♪ 1933 01:27:55,668 --> 01:27:59,306 It's really not perfect. 1934 01:27:59,340 --> 01:28:01,509 Oh, look at the two of them. 1935 01:28:01,542 --> 01:28:03,811 If that's not perfect, then it doesn't need to be. 1936 01:28:03,844 --> 01:28:05,078 You did good, kid. 1937 01:28:05,112 --> 01:28:07,614 Thank you, Larry. 1938 01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,350 Oh, no. Only... 1939 01:28:09,382 --> 01:28:11,018 There's only one person who calls me Larry. 1940 01:28:11,051 --> 01:28:13,020 - Oh, really? - Oh, yeah. 1941 01:28:13,052 --> 01:28:15,021 If you keep up this nice guy crap, 1942 01:28:15,055 --> 01:28:16,757 everybody's gonna call you Larry. 1943 01:28:18,524 --> 01:28:21,028 ♪ Celebrate good times Come on! ♪ 1944 01:28:22,729 --> 01:28:24,964 ♪ It's a celebration! ♪ 1945 01:28:24,997 --> 01:28:28,935 ♪ Celebrate good times Come on! ♪ 1946 01:28:28,969 --> 01:28:32,006 ♪ Ooh, it's a celebration! ♪ 1947 01:28:32,038 --> 01:28:34,974 ♪ There's a party going on Round here ♪ 1948 01:28:35,007 --> 01:28:39,512 ♪ A celebration to last Throughout the year ♪ 1949 01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:42,717 ♪ So, bring your good times And your laughter too ♪ 1950 01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:48,421 ♪ We're gonna celebrate Your party with you ♪ 1951 01:28:48,454 --> 01:28:52,393 ♪ Celebration ♪ 1952 01:28:52,426 --> 01:28:56,097 ♪ Let's all celebrate And have a good time ♪ 1953 01:28:56,130 --> 01:28:59,467 ♪ Celebration ♪ 1954 01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:04,471 ♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate And have a good time ♪ 1955 01:29:04,505 --> 01:29:08,141 ♪ It's time to come together ♪ 1956 01:29:08,175 --> 01:29:12,046 ♪ It's up to you What's your pleasure ♪ 1957 01:29:12,078 --> 01:29:16,750 ♪ Everyone around the world Come on! ♪ 1958 01:29:16,783 --> 01:29:19,452 ♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪ 1959 01:29:19,485 --> 01:29:21,087 ♪ Yahoo! ♪ 1960 01:29:21,121 --> 01:29:23,824 - ♪ It's a celebration! ♪ - ♪ Whoo! ♪ 1961 01:29:23,856 --> 01:29:26,894 ♪ We're gonna have A good time tonight ♪ 1962 01:29:26,926 --> 01:29:31,931 ♪ Let's celebrate, It's all right ♪ 1963 01:29:31,965 --> 01:29:34,902 ♪ We're gonna have A good time tonight ♪ 1964 01:29:34,935 --> 01:29:39,472 ♪ Let's celebrate, It's all right ♪ 1965 01:29:39,506 --> 01:29:42,910 ♪ Yeah, we're gonna have A good time tonight ♪ 1966 01:29:42,943 --> 01:29:44,145 ♪ Let's celebrate ♪ 1967 01:29:44,177 --> 01:29:46,846 ♪ Celebration ♪ 1968 01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:51,484 ♪ Oh, we're gonna celebrate And have a good time ♪ 1969 01:29:51,518 --> 01:29:55,555 ♪ Celebration ♪ 1970 01:29:55,588 --> 01:29:59,493 ♪ Let's all celebrate And have a good time ♪ 1971 01:29:59,525 --> 01:30:02,128 ♪ We're gonna have A good time tonight ♪ 1972 01:30:02,162 --> 01:30:05,966 ♪ Let's celebrate It's all right ♪ 1973 01:30:05,998 --> 01:30:10,069 ♪ Yeah, we're gonna have A good time tonight ♪ 1974 01:30:10,103 --> 01:30:13,875 ♪ Let's celebrate 'Cause it's all right ♪ 1975 01:30:15,809 --> 01:30:19,213 ♪ It's time to come together ♪ 1976 01:30:19,246 --> 01:30:23,150 ♪ It's up to you What's your pleasure? ♪ 1977 01:30:23,182 --> 01:30:27,988 ♪ Everyone around the world come on! ♪ 1978 01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:31,157 ♪ Mm, it's a celebration! ♪ 1979 01:30:43,170 --> 01:30:45,172 All right! Hold it down! 1980 01:30:45,204 --> 01:30:48,641 Hold it down! Let's just get this over with. 1981 01:30:48,675 --> 01:30:50,845 Final show. Crash Couples. 1982 01:30:50,877 --> 01:30:52,712 Someone walks away with a mill. 1983 01:30:52,746 --> 01:30:55,082 Someone walks away with bupkis. 1984 01:30:55,114 --> 01:30:56,951 The results are in. 1985 01:30:56,984 --> 01:30:59,687 Tiny and Shaq have been leading the voting 1986 01:30:59,720 --> 01:31:01,789 for the last five days. 1987 01:31:03,556 --> 01:31:04,858 Which means you two 1988 01:31:04,891 --> 01:31:06,693 have been getting your asses kicked. 1989 01:31:06,726 --> 01:31:08,761 But... 1990 01:31:08,795 --> 01:31:11,966 A giant tidal wave of last minute votes 1991 01:31:11,998 --> 01:31:15,135 produced an impossible comeback. 1992 01:31:15,167 --> 01:31:17,036 The winners are 1993 01:31:17,069 --> 01:31:19,706 Jimmy and Svetlana! 1994 01:31:30,583 --> 01:31:31,685 That was us. 134232