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1
00:00:01,314 --> 00:00:03,392
Oh hi, Sally.
2
00:00:03,467 --> 00:00:04,467
It's Mary.
3
00:00:06,587 --> 00:00:09,592
Well, actually I was wondering whether
4
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:13,239
we should take the Brownies
somewhere else this weekend.
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,399
Oh, no reason.
6
00:00:15,507 --> 00:00:17,679
No, nothing to do with work.
7
00:00:18,787 --> 00:00:19,787
Oh gosh.
8
00:00:20,881 --> 00:00:23,577
Well, anywhere really.
9
00:00:28,801 --> 00:00:30,239
Shetland?
10
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,720
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:44,392
And in short, that's why I have to sleep
12
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,639
completely naked.
13
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,352
Well, that's good to know.
14
00:00:49,427 --> 00:00:50,763
Okay, so just to remind everyone,
15
00:00:50,787 --> 00:00:52,319
we're still on Amber alert following
16
00:00:52,394 --> 00:00:53,672
the poisoned water attacks
17
00:00:53,747 --> 00:00:55,592
that took place in
Paris over the weekend.
18
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:56,712
How far is Paris?
19
00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:58,866
Aside from Paris, what
else is going on, Joseph?
20
00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:00,272
Do we have a systems update?
21
00:01:00,347 --> 00:01:01,992
Yes, not great I'm afraid.
22
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:04,067
Tuva's already looking into
who might be behind it.
23
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:06,372
But we had an attack on one
of our own servers last night.
24
00:01:06,373 --> 00:01:07,852
- Oh, fucking tense!
- I know.
25
00:01:07,927 --> 00:01:09,352
When exactly did it happen?
26
00:01:09,427 --> 00:01:11,497
No!
27
00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:12,721
Attention please.
28
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:13,722
This is a test.
29
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:16,272
Please take no action.
30
00:01:16,347 --> 00:01:17,587
What on earth are you doing?
31
00:01:17,627 --> 00:01:18,627
Sorry.
32
00:01:19,781 --> 00:01:22,632
I still get PTSD from
my time in Afghanistan.
33
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,027
You never served in Afghanistan.
34
00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:25,539
Yeah, I know.
35
00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:27,523
But the drone footage I
saw was very realistic.
36
00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:28,952
How much data was compromised?
37
00:01:29,027 --> 00:01:30,992
Yeah, it may sound insulting really.
38
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:33,577
Macedites from the middle server.
39
00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:35,081
They did manage to capture a tiny bit
40
00:01:35,082 --> 00:01:36,807
of Mary's Internet
browsing history, sadly.
41
00:01:36,865 --> 00:01:38,065
Oh no.
42
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,861
Please tell me none
of that was sensitive.
43
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:41,034
No, apart from
44
00:01:42,507 --> 00:01:45,552
I have been looking
online for a new bra.
45
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:46,679
Really, what type?
46
00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:48,472
Just a brown one.
47
00:01:48,547 --> 00:01:49,547
Yeah baby.
48
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,792
Found him.
49
00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:51,912
This is our hacker.
50
00:01:58,481 --> 00:01:59,577
- Fuck me.
- Oh my gosh.
51
00:01:59,601 --> 00:02:01,312
Gosh, what a dick.
52
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,483
Sorry, Jerry, do you mind
using less bad language?
53
00:02:03,507 --> 00:02:04,507
Seriously?
54
00:02:05,366 --> 00:02:06,666
Shit is fine thought, isn't it?
55
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:07,937
Now I say shit all the time.
56
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,081
No you just talk shit.
57
00:02:09,147 --> 00:02:10,577
There's a difference.
58
00:02:10,601 --> 00:02:11,832
Oh yeah!
59
00:02:13,107 --> 00:02:14,912
- No, you have to let go.
- Sorry.
60
00:02:14,987 --> 00:02:16,010
This guy is good.
61
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:18,032
He once hacked the NSA database.
62
00:02:18,107 --> 00:02:19,919
NSA database, really?
63
00:02:21,347 --> 00:02:23,352
You know maybe we should
bring this guy in.
64
00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:24,466
Make him part of the team.
65
00:02:24,467 --> 00:02:25,512
Absolutely not.
66
00:02:25,587 --> 00:02:26,832
I'm serious.
67
00:02:26,907 --> 00:02:29,272
I mean Tuva used to be a hacker, right?
68
00:02:29,347 --> 00:02:31,472
I don't know if I appreciate
the term hacker
69
00:02:31,547 --> 00:02:33,632
because I'm also a singer.
70
00:02:33,707 --> 00:02:35,752
The only reason Tuva is here
71
00:02:35,827 --> 00:02:38,067
is because she made a bargaining
plea with the government
72
00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:41,017
in exchange for some
highly sensitive intel.
73
00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:42,472
Please don't say...
74
00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:43,907
It was about the Brexit campaign.
75
00:02:43,908 --> 00:02:45,752
What that was about.
76
00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:48,472
My point is we should
keep our enemies close.
77
00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:50,272
Surely we can agree on that.
78
00:02:50,347 --> 00:02:52,472
Look, give me 48 hours with him.
79
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,752
If it doesn't work out,
80
00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:56,039
I'm willing to take the hit on this.
81
00:02:56,114 --> 00:02:57,519
Fine.
82
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,392
- Really?
- Why not?
83
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:02,312
I have complete faith in you.
84
00:03:02,387 --> 00:03:05,992
Ah, looks like I'm
finally rubbing you off
85
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,067
on me.
86
00:03:07,827 --> 00:03:09,472
- Finally...
- Rubbing off on you.
87
00:03:09,547 --> 00:03:11,272
- Rubbing?
- Rubbing off on you.
88
00:03:11,347 --> 00:03:13,092
- I'm finally...
- Yes.
89
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:15,093
- Rubbing off on you.
- Yes, that's the saying.
90
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,792
- You're rubbing off on me.
- You wish.
91
00:03:18,587 --> 00:03:19,817
Oh, one final thing.
92
00:03:19,841 --> 00:03:21,883
Barnaby Bailer will be
delivering his seminar
93
00:03:21,907 --> 00:03:24,312
on the politics of cyber
security this week
94
00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:26,432
- to which you're all invited.
- Bailer?
95
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,912
The Middle East attaché?
96
00:03:27,987 --> 00:03:29,352
I love that guy!
97
00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:31,552
He and I used to make
these cupcakes together
98
00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:33,799
when he was over for 9/11.
99
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:36,950
Who's running his protection detail?
100
00:03:36,974 --> 00:03:38,974
'Cause last time got pretty rowdy.
101
00:03:39,026 --> 00:03:40,466
Oh, I'm sure his people will run it
102
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:42,337
given his somewhat contentious legacy.
103
00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:44,403
Well, I'll pop down
there just to be sure.
104
00:03:44,427 --> 00:03:45,792
Know what I'm saying?
105
00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:48,072
I can't hear you.
106
00:03:48,147 --> 00:03:50,032
Just in case it should come up,
107
00:03:50,107 --> 00:03:53,032
I actually used to date Barnaby Bailer.
108
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,392
What the fuck?
109
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,765
Jerry, please.
110
00:03:55,841 --> 00:03:57,577
When we were in university together.
111
00:03:57,601 --> 00:03:59,650
I don't suspect he'll
remember me, though.
112
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,872
It was all, you know, very brief.
113
00:04:01,947 --> 00:04:04,992
What, like in a premature
ejaculation kind of way?
114
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:07,439
Sorry, I really don't know what that is.
115
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,963
Well, I'm sure Joseph can show you.
116
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:14,879
Well, what is it?
117
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:17,952
Jerry?
118
00:04:18,027 --> 00:04:19,547
I don't know, should we look it up?
119
00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:25,232
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
120
00:04:32,307 --> 00:04:33,627
My contact at the NSA has agreed
121
00:04:33,628 --> 00:04:35,359
to let me view Jerry's internal file.
122
00:04:35,434 --> 00:04:37,217
Can you save it onto the private server?
123
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,632
It's important.
124
00:04:38,707 --> 00:04:41,432
Sure, do you want an ice cream?
125
00:04:41,507 --> 00:04:44,352
Did you get anything I just said?
126
00:04:44,427 --> 00:04:45,427
No.
127
00:04:53,747 --> 00:04:55,912
Is everything okay?
128
00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:58,952
Yeah, I don't know where
Jerry got to, that's all.
129
00:04:59,027 --> 00:05:02,432
Oh, he and I usually have
a coffee around this time.
130
00:05:02,507 --> 00:05:06,632
Well, I'd bring him a coffee
and just watch him drink it.
131
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,257
Thanks Mary.
132
00:05:09,387 --> 00:05:10,872
Oh, Quentin.
133
00:05:10,947 --> 00:05:11,947
Hello.
134
00:05:13,427 --> 00:05:16,712
Sorry, I picked up mom's glasses
by accident this morning.
135
00:05:16,787 --> 00:05:18,657
I thought you said you couldn't see.
136
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:21,199
Oh well, she can't at night.
137
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:24,777
What are you up to this evening?
138
00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:29,279
Well, I usually help mom with
her bath on Wednesdays.
139
00:05:30,774 --> 00:05:33,872
Let me know if I can ever be of service.
140
00:05:33,947 --> 00:05:36,832
Oh, I don't think mom would like that.
141
00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:39,792
She wouldn't know if she can't see.
142
00:05:39,867 --> 00:05:43,552
She would know if there
were four hands in the bath.
143
00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:44,627
Yes.
144
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,672
Half an octopus.
145
00:05:48,747 --> 00:05:49,747
Yes.
146
00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,466
See you later.
147
00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:54,467
Okay.
148
00:05:58,026 --> 00:05:59,146
So I thought I'd start out
149
00:05:59,147 --> 00:06:00,639
by giving you like a quick tour
150
00:06:00,714 --> 00:06:01,919
and then I don't know.
151
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:04,392
Probably just hang out, grab a drink.
152
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:05,697
Maybe some tail.
153
00:06:05,721 --> 00:06:07,832
Guys, this is Tom.
154
00:06:07,907 --> 00:06:09,947
He's the one that hacked
our server the other night.
155
00:06:09,948 --> 00:06:11,712
- Hey Tom.
- Hi.
156
00:06:11,787 --> 00:06:13,192
This is Mary.
157
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,552
Mary's been with GCHQ
from the beginning.
158
00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:16,857
When was it founded, Mary?
159
00:06:16,881 --> 00:06:17,881
1919.
160
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:19,746
Right, so then.
161
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,672
Well, not quite.
162
00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,599
I'm actually a lot younger than I look.
163
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,232
Really, by how much?
164
00:06:25,307 --> 00:06:27,872
Gosh, no one's ever
asked me that before.
165
00:06:27,947 --> 00:06:30,552
Plus she's absolutely filthy,
you know what I mean?
166
00:06:30,627 --> 00:06:31,872
The mouth on her.
167
00:06:31,947 --> 00:06:33,312
This is Tuva.
168
00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:34,763
What'd you get up to this weekend?
169
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,472
Not much.
170
00:06:36,547 --> 00:06:38,723
I just went to a club, got
with couple of salty jerks.
171
00:06:38,747 --> 00:06:40,039
Your accent's really fresh.
172
00:06:40,114 --> 00:06:41,192
Who is not to use it?
173
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,512
It's a mix.
174
00:06:42,587 --> 00:06:44,759
So you hacked the GCHQ server?
175
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,272
Yep.
176
00:06:46,347 --> 00:06:49,272
I don't know whether to
be impressed, annoyed
177
00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,347
or aroused.
178
00:06:51,587 --> 00:06:52,587
Probably annoyed.
179
00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:54,203
- Annoyed.
- Aroused.
180
00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:56,457
I could sell the
sprinters off if you like.
181
00:06:56,481 --> 00:06:57,897
Hey Tom, this is Joseph.
182
00:06:57,921 --> 00:06:59,081
Yeah I'm sorry, I'm Joseph.
183
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:00,932
How are you? I'm actually
Jerry's best friend.
184
00:07:01,007 --> 00:07:02,552
- PA.
- Sorry, no, you go.
185
00:07:02,627 --> 00:07:04,472
Colleague.
186
00:07:04,547 --> 00:07:05,827
Do you always dress like that?
187
00:07:05,828 --> 00:07:06,828
Yes, why?
188
00:07:08,307 --> 00:07:09,785
No, that's cool.
189
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,981
I was just wondering if it
was for a bet or something.
190
00:07:11,982 --> 00:07:14,312
I can't even tell if he's joking.
191
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:16,472
Are you joking?
192
00:07:19,947 --> 00:07:20,987
Do you work out?
193
00:07:21,027 --> 00:07:23,712
'Cause your traps are amazing.
194
00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:26,239
No, just came out like this.
195
00:07:28,507 --> 00:07:29,923
Let me introduce you to Christine.
196
00:07:29,947 --> 00:07:33,559
She's like the scary
Mary Poppins of the team.
197
00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:37,952
He seems nice.
198
00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:40,272
I just think he finds me
a little bit intimidating,
199
00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:41,952
which is a shame really.
200
00:07:44,386 --> 00:07:45,706
You know, he's hiding something,
201
00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:46,832
I'm sure of it.
202
00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:48,552
Our hands are tied, Chris.
203
00:07:48,627 --> 00:07:50,272
Sorry.
204
00:07:50,347 --> 00:07:53,512
Whitehall don't want us
digging around about Jerry.
205
00:07:53,587 --> 00:07:55,472
What's that noise?
206
00:07:55,547 --> 00:07:57,632
Are you still on the Anthrax case?
207
00:07:57,707 --> 00:07:59,312
Sort of.
208
00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:00,912
Phantom of the Opera, Damascus.
209
00:08:00,987 --> 00:08:02,592
It's just starting.
210
00:08:11,627 --> 00:08:13,203
Well hey, just out of interest.
211
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:14,872
Is it possible for someone like you
212
00:08:14,947 --> 00:08:17,872
to hack into say, I don't know,
213
00:08:17,947 --> 00:08:20,239
the NSA database?
214
00:08:20,314 --> 00:08:23,072
Have a look around, delete the odd file?
215
00:08:23,147 --> 00:08:24,532
You know someone's actually trying
216
00:08:24,607 --> 00:08:26,672
to access your file right now.
217
00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:28,352
What?
218
00:08:28,427 --> 00:08:30,192
Oh, that's uh, yeah.
219
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,457
Can you abort that transfer?
220
00:08:32,481 --> 00:08:33,519
Just for fun?
221
00:08:34,787 --> 00:08:36,559
Yeah, I can just do,
222
00:08:37,626 --> 00:08:38,626
aborted.
223
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:48,239
- Uh...
- What's happening?
224
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,280
It's uploading again.
225
00:08:49,281 --> 00:08:50,281
What the?
226
00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:53,363
I could just permanently
delete the file.
227
00:08:53,387 --> 00:08:57,232
I would love to see
what that looks like.
228
00:08:59,347 --> 00:09:01,472
I love your cologne, by the way.
229
00:09:01,547 --> 00:09:04,137
I'm not wearing any.
230
00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:05,312
Still.
231
00:09:05,387 --> 00:09:06,392
Done.
232
00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:27,546
Jerry.
233
00:09:27,547 --> 00:09:28,792
Yeah?
234
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:30,657
Should I clean up your browsing history?
235
00:09:30,681 --> 00:09:32,239
Yeah, please.
236
00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:34,192
That would be great.
237
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,752
I'll be back.
238
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,097
- Hey.
- Hey man.
239
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,946
I just wondered if you would fancy
240
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,312
going to the canteen together.
241
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:43,867
I do know that curly sausage you like.
242
00:09:43,868 --> 00:09:45,272
Oh man, I'd love to but actually
243
00:09:45,347 --> 00:09:47,839
Tom and I are going
out for T-bones later.
244
00:09:47,914 --> 00:09:49,319
Tonight?
245
00:09:49,354 --> 00:09:50,714
Oh, 'cause I'm not doing anything.
246
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,392
You know, I look at this guy
247
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,392
and I can't help but
think about that saying,
248
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,152
you hang around with
chickens, you cluck.
249
00:09:58,227 --> 00:10:01,119
You hang around with eagles, you fly.
250
00:10:02,007 --> 00:10:04,113
Yeah, I know but the main
thing with eagles though
251
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:05,879
is that they all have
mental health problems.
252
00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:07,159
All done.
253
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:10,352
- So when is actually...
- Excuse me.
254
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:11,639
Yeah, thank you.
255
00:10:16,787 --> 00:10:19,159
Dude, seriously, how
do you stay in shape?
256
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:20,872
Well, I used to be a gymnast
257
00:10:20,947 --> 00:10:22,592
but I just got too big.
258
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:24,352
Yeah, I know, me too.
259
00:10:24,427 --> 00:10:25,639
So what kind of stuff?
260
00:10:25,714 --> 00:10:27,552
I mean, can you show me something?
261
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,312
- It's been a while.
- Come on man.
262
00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:31,257
- I'm out of practice.
- Come on.
263
00:10:31,281 --> 00:10:32,352
Oh, hey guys.
264
00:10:32,427 --> 00:10:33,512
Come on yeah!
265
00:10:33,587 --> 00:10:35,119
Okay, watch this.
266
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:40,719
Oh!
267
00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:42,959
Wow, what the fuck!
268
00:10:43,193 --> 00:10:44,193
That was great.
269
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:45,292
That was...
270
00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:46,750
- Did you see that?
- Yeah, I did.
271
00:10:46,774 --> 00:10:49,134
Well, I used to do that all the
time when I was in gym club.
272
00:10:49,135 --> 00:10:50,257
What, you were a gymnast?
273
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:52,283
Oh, it was mostly combat
rolls, that kind of thing.
274
00:10:52,358 --> 00:10:53,872
What's combat roll?
275
00:10:53,947 --> 00:10:55,187
Oh well, hang on let me just,
276
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,913
I just need a bit of
space to... Thank you.
277
00:10:59,714 --> 00:11:01,159
It's sort of like,
278
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:07,639
get your leg over sort of like this.
279
00:11:08,987 --> 00:11:10,723
You paid someone to teach you that?
280
00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:11,747
Yeah.
281
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,587
Isn't that just a teddy bear roll?
282
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,712
Yeah, combat roll.
283
00:11:16,787 --> 00:11:19,617
But we used to practice a lot more
complicated stuff in my bedroom.
284
00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:21,072
Like what?
285
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,580
Oh, I can't really demonstrate here
286
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,632
because it's not the space,
and it's not the height?
287
00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:26,557
- For you?
- Come on. I just can't really.
288
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:28,239
I'm not warmed up.
289
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,479
Joseph, Joseph, Joseph, Joseph!
290
00:11:32,281 --> 00:11:33,281
Okay, okay!
291
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:35,199
Joseph, Joseph, Joseph!
292
00:11:46,986 --> 00:11:47,986
You hungry?
293
00:11:47,987 --> 00:11:49,199
I could eat.
294
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,492
Oh man!
295
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:09,301
Yeah?
296
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:12,772
Hey.
297
00:12:12,847 --> 00:12:14,652
Hey, what the fuck?
298
00:12:14,727 --> 00:12:16,532
Is everything okay?
299
00:12:16,607 --> 00:12:17,892
Yeah, why?
300
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,692
You know I got tased, right?
301
00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:21,127
No I know that, but what are you,
302
00:12:21,128 --> 00:12:22,340
what happened?
303
00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:24,757
Just fancied a change.
304
00:12:24,781 --> 00:12:26,237
What, from man to woman?
305
00:12:26,261 --> 00:12:27,717
What'd you do to your hair?
306
00:12:27,741 --> 00:12:29,837
- I wanted to make it blonde.
- No.
307
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,292
No?
308
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,772
No, that would never work
with someone of your coloring.
309
00:12:33,847 --> 00:12:36,492
And you end up looking like a bee.
310
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,567
Buddy.
311
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:42,332
So have you... you're
finished with Tom now.
312
00:12:42,407 --> 00:12:44,892
Is he gone back, where is he?
313
00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,572
He'll be in later this afternoon.
314
00:12:46,647 --> 00:12:48,812
We got totally shit faced last night.
315
00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:56,372
- What's up?
- Oh, nothing.
316
00:12:56,447 --> 00:12:58,677
Wait, wait a minute.
317
00:12:58,701 --> 00:13:00,812
Dude, is this because of Tom?
318
00:13:03,212 --> 00:13:04,252
No.
319
00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:06,452
Listen, you need to relax
320
00:13:06,527 --> 00:13:08,452
and just be your own man.
321
00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:10,132
Okay, you do you.
322
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,726
That's the coolest thing you could do.
323
00:13:11,727 --> 00:13:13,372
- Yeah.
- Okay?
324
00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:14,447
Yeah.
325
00:13:15,287 --> 00:13:16,652
Well yeah, just as long as
326
00:13:16,727 --> 00:13:18,219
you and I get to...
327
00:13:19,247 --> 00:13:20,247
What?
328
00:13:20,281 --> 00:13:22,452
Well, you know, remain...
329
00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:24,652
Oh, what like this?
330
00:13:24,727 --> 00:13:26,132
Yeah.
331
00:13:26,207 --> 00:13:28,772
Yeah, no this will never change.
332
00:13:28,847 --> 00:13:31,219
All right, thank you, good.
333
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,687
So what are you doing tonight?
334
00:13:35,761 --> 00:13:37,681
Do you want to go out to
the cinema or something?
335
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:40,020
No, I'm out again tonight with Tom.
336
00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:44,372
So when was the last
time you saw Barnaby?
337
00:13:44,447 --> 00:13:46,819
Gosh, maybe 40 years ago now.
338
00:13:48,847 --> 00:13:51,252
I still think about him
every day, though.
339
00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:55,452
Can I ask, are you still a virgin?
340
00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:56,527
Oh, yes,
341
00:13:58,447 --> 00:14:00,299
but only fairly recently.
342
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:06,332
And when was the last
time you washed your wig?
343
00:14:06,407 --> 00:14:07,659
It's not a wig.
344
00:14:09,527 --> 00:14:10,527
Tommy, hey.
345
00:14:16,204 --> 00:14:17,804
So listen, I was just thinking of having
346
00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:18,821
some birthday drinks.
347
00:14:18,845 --> 00:14:20,259
I can't, I'm sorry.
348
00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:21,572
No, it's not tonight.
349
00:14:21,647 --> 00:14:23,032
Sorry, I should have been clearer.
350
00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:25,307
I know you and Jerry got a
thing tonight, which is fine.
351
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:27,932
No, I just mean in general.
I probably can't make it.
352
00:14:28,007 --> 00:14:30,452
Well, that's cool. That's cool.
353
00:14:30,527 --> 00:14:31,767
I'm not really flexible anyway.
354
00:14:31,768 --> 00:14:33,612
I'm booked anyway 'cause yeah.
355
00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:34,859
Just let me know.
356
00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:37,099
I am letting you know.
357
00:14:37,174 --> 00:14:38,932
I can't make it.
358
00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,590
Well, let's not rule anything out.
359
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:42,503
I mean it's not for eight months, Tom.
360
00:14:42,527 --> 00:14:44,132
Okay, I want you guys here.
361
00:14:44,207 --> 00:14:47,492
Here, here, here, and here throughout.
362
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:48,812
Got it?
363
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,270
Also, I'm gonna need you to clear
364
00:14:50,294 --> 00:14:51,934
a little more space
over here just in case
365
00:14:51,935 --> 00:14:53,859
I need to do karate.
366
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,812
I had a bodyguard buddy
367
00:14:55,887 --> 00:14:58,852
who lost his job because
there wasn't enough space
368
00:14:58,927 --> 00:15:01,172
for him to do karate at a key moment.
369
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:02,263
All right, back up a bit.
370
00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:03,637
Little more, little more.
371
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:08,301
Yeah, another two or three
feet, right over there.
372
00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,419
So, are there any areas
you'd like me to accentuate?
373
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,494
Oh well.
374
00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:15,379
The vicar at church,
375
00:15:15,454 --> 00:15:18,252
he always says that I
have lovely cheek bones.
376
00:15:18,327 --> 00:15:20,732
My only worry is that if I
bring those out any more,
377
00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,252
you're going to look like
a skull on a broomstick.
378
00:15:23,327 --> 00:15:24,327
Right.
379
00:15:25,447 --> 00:15:26,447
Cigarette?
380
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,179
Yeah, all right.
381
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:45,739
Go on ahead.
382
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,339
I'll have this one.
383
00:15:51,861 --> 00:15:53,379
You got a light?
384
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:58,317
Are you still lighting your cigarettes?
385
00:15:58,341 --> 00:15:59,579
I just chew mine.
386
00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:29,774
Lips?
387
00:16:29,807 --> 00:16:31,412
Oh, yes please.
388
00:16:31,487 --> 00:16:34,132
I'd really like him to tight up lips.
389
00:16:34,207 --> 00:16:36,132
I'd go for bright pink.
390
00:16:36,207 --> 00:16:37,967
If it's the first time
you've seen each other
391
00:16:37,968 --> 00:16:39,366
in a while,
392
00:16:39,407 --> 00:16:41,859
then you want your lips to look like a,
393
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,412
cat's butt hole.
394
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:44,487
Oh.
395
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,372
And do lots of men find that attractive?
396
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:50,652
No.
397
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:52,452
But, Barnaby will.
398
00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:53,527
Let's start.
399
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:55,460
Guest list.
400
00:17:00,527 --> 00:17:02,423
No, the whole thing needs to be redone.
401
00:17:02,447 --> 00:17:03,767
If I can't pronounce a last name,
402
00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:04,807
I want them off the list.
403
00:17:04,814 --> 00:17:05,814
Woo, ha, ha.
404
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,419
Good.
405
00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:09,494
Good.
406
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:13,807
Oh wow.
407
00:17:14,807 --> 00:17:16,219
Ow!
408
00:17:16,294 --> 00:17:17,837
Did you do that piercing yourself?
409
00:17:17,861 --> 00:17:18,861
No,
410
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,532
I just slept awkwardly.
411
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,712
I actually see a bit of blood, though.
412
00:17:23,787 --> 00:17:24,812
Are you coming?
413
00:17:24,887 --> 00:17:26,752
Oh no, I think me and
Tom are just gonna hang.
414
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:27,837
Cool.
415
00:17:27,861 --> 00:17:30,132
No, where are you going?
416
00:17:30,207 --> 00:17:31,652
To the Barnaby Bailer thing.
417
00:17:31,727 --> 00:17:33,612
Barnaby Bailer's here?
418
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:34,932
Politician?
419
00:17:35,007 --> 00:17:37,357
Yeah, I know, what a fucking nickhead.
420
00:17:37,381 --> 00:17:38,757
I should go.
421
00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:40,437
- Be fun.
- That's what I meant.
422
00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:41,532
Be fun.
423
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:42,979
Should go.
424
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:45,299
I need you in that corner.
425
00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:49,165
- Bailer!
- Hi.
426
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:50,332
Jerry Bernstein, NSA.
427
00:17:50,407 --> 00:17:52,092
We did 9/11 together.
428
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:53,492
Can I get you a little cupcake?
429
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:55,539
You fucking maniac?
430
00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:57,732
I'd love a glass of milk, please.
431
00:17:57,807 --> 00:18:00,492
Right, can someone get
Barnaby a glass of milk?
432
00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:01,657
Hi, Barnaby.
433
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,162
Would you mind just taking a
quick pic, for our social media?
434
00:18:04,187 --> 00:18:05,187
No, of course not.
435
00:18:05,247 --> 00:18:07,093
- Would you like me in it again?
- No, of course not.
436
00:18:07,094 --> 00:18:08,303
You know, let me do this.
437
00:18:08,327 --> 00:18:10,372
I'm really good at wildlife photography.
438
00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:12,252
How do you? Right.
439
00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:13,459
Okay, one, two,
440
00:18:14,814 --> 00:18:16,332
Chris, you may wanna try to smile.
441
00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:18,183
You know just imagine
there's been an attack
442
00:18:18,207 --> 00:18:19,219
on U.S. soil.
443
00:18:22,047 --> 00:18:23,359
Still no good.
444
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:24,823
Why don't we sex this up a little.
445
00:18:24,847 --> 00:18:26,612
Tom, leave that, come here!
446
00:18:26,687 --> 00:18:28,132
Throw your arm around Bailer, yeah.
447
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:30,367
Oh this is, yeah, this
is better right away.
448
00:18:30,414 --> 00:18:31,852
- Here we go.
- Sorry Jerry.
449
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:33,110
Hi, I'm Barnaby Joseph Harry.
450
00:18:33,134 --> 00:18:34,606
I'm not sure if your concerned about
451
00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:35,767
having a natural mouth shape.
452
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:36,991
But if you say wagamama a lot,
453
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,333
it gives you a very kind of honest look.
454
00:18:39,407 --> 00:18:40,447
Shall we try that?
455
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,332
One, two, three.
456
00:18:42,407 --> 00:18:44,019
Wagamama.
457
00:18:44,094 --> 00:18:45,423
I've actually never been to one.
458
00:18:45,447 --> 00:18:46,452
Oh, it's really great.
459
00:18:46,527 --> 00:18:48,927
The only thing is the food
always arrives at different times.
460
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,259
- Why?
- No one knows.
461
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:51,494
Chris, take a look at this.
462
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:52,580
I think it's terrific.
463
00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:54,139
Evelyn looks rough.
464
00:18:55,247 --> 00:18:56,499
Oh hi, Barnaby.
465
00:18:56,574 --> 00:18:57,732
How are you?
466
00:18:57,807 --> 00:18:59,212
Hi, I'm good, thanks.
467
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:02,652
Mary Needham, we were
at Oxford together.
468
00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,099
St. Johns?
469
00:19:04,174 --> 00:19:06,292
Right, are you the
one that had a stroke?
470
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:07,652
Oh gosh, no.
471
00:19:07,727 --> 00:19:09,612
It's just make up.
472
00:19:09,687 --> 00:19:11,619
Right, lovely to see you again.
473
00:19:11,694 --> 00:19:13,572
I'm surprised you even remember me.
474
00:19:13,647 --> 00:19:15,577
I don't remember you.
475
00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:16,612
Okay, shall we start?
476
00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:17,697
- Yes.
- Great.
477
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,092
Everyone, we're gonna start.
478
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:22,063
Just so you know I'm gonna be up top
479
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:24,339
in case anyone tries to poof!
480
00:19:29,446 --> 00:19:30,606
Did you see where Tom went?
481
00:19:30,607 --> 00:19:31,607
Sh!
482
00:19:37,447 --> 00:19:39,252
Right, well, hello everyone.
483
00:19:39,327 --> 00:19:41,259
Thanks so much for having me.
484
00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:44,492
In an increasingly digital world
485
00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:47,317
cooperation between
intelligence agencies
486
00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:48,772
has become vital.
487
00:19:48,847 --> 00:19:53,117
And never has politics played
such an important role
488
00:19:53,141 --> 00:19:56,059
in how we view cyber
security as a society.
489
00:19:58,727 --> 00:20:01,659
In 1997, I started a very long journey
490
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:06,412
together with my wife, Samantha.
491
00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:08,252
We moved into Downing Street
492
00:20:08,327 --> 00:20:11,219
with a promise to the people of Britain.
493
00:20:12,261 --> 00:20:14,532
No wait, what, what, what!
494
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:21,652
Okay, our friends from Greenpeace in?
495
00:20:24,407 --> 00:20:27,179
Sorry, anyways onwards and upwards.
496
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,012
Good.
497
00:20:30,087 --> 00:20:33,412
Either we treat hacking
offenses as serious crimes or...
498
00:20:36,207 --> 00:20:39,172
...or face the consequences of...
499
00:20:39,247 --> 00:20:42,379
Has someone hacked the system?
500
00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:44,174
I expected better than
this, to be honest.
501
00:20:46,687 --> 00:20:49,539
Excellent, now it's all over Twitter.
502
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:52,332
Anyone know who's responsible?
503
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:53,687
I must say I'm looking forward
504
00:20:53,688 --> 00:20:55,412
to explaining to Rupert which one of us
505
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:59,572
decided to invite a random
hacker into the building.
506
00:20:59,647 --> 00:21:01,412
Go ahead, there's nothing here
507
00:21:01,487 --> 00:21:03,532
that says this was the work of Tom.
508
00:21:03,607 --> 00:21:04,710
Let's get this sorted.
509
00:21:12,586 --> 00:21:13,666
Could be a different Tom.
510
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:16,372
Oh my God.
511
00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:20,499
♪ This is Ground Control to Major Tom ♪
512
00:21:20,574 --> 00:21:25,492
♪ You've really made the grade ♪
513
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:29,517
♪ And the papers want to
know whose shirts you wear ♪
514
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:30,812
Wanna go get some T-bones?
515
00:21:30,887 --> 00:21:32,612
Yeah.
516
00:21:32,687 --> 00:21:37,219
♪ Now it's time to leave
the capsule if you dare ♪
517
00:21:48,327 --> 00:21:49,327
Very nice.
518
00:21:50,207 --> 00:21:51,332
Cat bum.
519
00:21:51,407 --> 00:21:52,539
Oh, thank you.
520
00:22:01,127 --> 00:22:03,132
♪ Hooray hooray hooray ♪
521
00:22:03,207 --> 00:22:04,812
♪ Misery is on the way ♪
522
00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:06,212
♪ There are bad times ♪
523
00:22:06,287 --> 00:22:08,612
♪ Just around the corner ♪
524
00:22:08,687 --> 00:22:10,052
♪ There are dark clouds ♪
525
00:22:10,127 --> 00:22:12,532
♪ Hurtling through the sky ♪
526
00:22:12,607 --> 00:22:14,532
♪ It's as clear as crystal ♪
527
00:22:14,607 --> 00:22:16,572
♪ From Bridlington to Bristol ♪
528
00:22:16,647 --> 00:22:18,532
♪ That we can't save democracy ♪
529
00:22:18,607 --> 00:22:20,412
♪ And we don't much care ♪
530
00:22:20,487 --> 00:22:22,252
♪ We better all learn the merits ♪
531
00:22:22,327 --> 00:22:24,412
♪ On the old red flag ♪
532
00:22:24,487 --> 00:22:28,639
♪ And wait till we drop down dead ♪
35765
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