Original subtitles

I could hardly keep my hands off you the other day.

You looked so delicious.

I wanted to eat you all up.

I'm naked, Ben.

I'm naked and being so bad.

Perhaps you ought to spank me.

I picked up some olives for you, baby.

Some big, soft, juicy pitted olives.

Pink pimentos.

It's like you're not doing it to be successful,

you're not doing it to make some money,

you love all those additional things that happen.

What you're doing is because of what you love,

and it gets you up early, it keeps you up late,

and you notice things, and you have an impact,

and you have a sense of contribution,

and life is really joyous.

And most people never experience that

because they never find their real drive.

They're caught up in making a living

instead of designing a life.

They don't know what they really want,

so they don't really tap in to their drive.

They don't discover what they're capable of...

Woman in sync with tape: But I really get you to follow through

as much as I can

by teasing you and pushing you

and getting you to take the little steps.

And as you build one step on the day before,

on top of the next day, on top of the next day,

at the end of 30 days, you've made a huge change.

It's a great sense of pride, honestly,

because I know where I've come from.

Woman in sync with tape: I started out

in a little 4-inch-square bachelor apartment,

feeling sorry for myself, thinking nothing could change,

feeling mad at the world and my past.

Um, but fortunately, I was able to change,

and the change came from

not being willing to settle for that anymore,

knowing that inside I was much more than what I was living,

mentally and emotionally and spiritually,

and I was able to find my passion.

That's what most people haven't done--

they don't know what they really want

so they don't really tap in to their drive,

they don't discover what they're capable of.

Wo So that'll be all right.

Then we'll just have the choir practice

I think next sunday.

Oh, Sandra! How's the real estate business?

Oh, fine. Are you looking?

No, no, no. I couldn't begin to afford

the kind of houses you handle.

Neither can most of the people we sell them to.

I brought your sheet music.

For the fundraiser? Great!

Why don't you take them up to Ben?

Ok.

It's bach, your favorite.

He's such a master.

Magnificent.

Utterly!

Ha ha! And thrust!

Encore, Ben, encore!

Wo Icon-age, public relations and advertising.

Icon-age, how may I help you?

One moment, please.

Good morning, Mr. Dunmore.

What?

Good morning.

Oh, maybe for you.

Icon-age, how may I help you?

If we could have a legacy, we would want it to be this.

We would want people to say,

"Olympia has reunited golfers with their short game."

That would make us happy...

Oh, god, Jake.

Good morning, Peggy. Dear peg.

You look like you fell off the back of a truck.

Thank you. You look like an angel.

The meeting started 15 minutes ago.

Damn. Am I only 15 minutes late?

I tried to time it

so I'd miss at least half an hour.

Hold still.

Peg, I live for your touch.

Get in there and try not to puke on Mr. Bradley.

Will you marry me?

I think you're already married.

I am? Oh, yeah, right. I am.

Well, maybe later.

Morning, everybody.

Sorry I'm late, sir.

Sorry, everyone. Sorry.

Had one of those electric--

well, now that the entire brain trust is present,

we can get down to the business at hand--

senator lassiter.

Roy had the misfortune

of being caught in a rather...

Less-than-honorable position last night.

You think his position was bad?

How'd you like to be the hooker

who was sucking him off?

Thank you, Jake.

Kevin--can we get to the girl?

Well, my kind of thinking was--

the girl was a guy.

Let's not kid ourselves. We all saw the picture, right?

She had a five o'clock shadow, an Adam's apple,

and a semper fi tattoo.

Well...

We got to float a distraction.

We got to position it so that Joe public

doesn't know which ball to keep his eye on.

Not unlike the senator.

What are the alternatives?

Mike--the senator was tipped to head

the foreign affairs committee.

That's right.

Kevin?

How about he's quietly turning down the offer

to become commissioner of baseball?

He's never even seen a game.

Gary, what have we got?

Ok, well, how about, um--

what have you got, Gary?

Uh--Gary, what have you got?

Goddamn it!

What the hell? We've got to find something

that humanizes this bastard!

I have--sorry.

Um, from 1993, actually, he's saying that

Mrs. Lassiter has been fighting breast cancer.

Now, that's good.

Thanks.

People worry, Jake, that it's a dangerous--

yeah, yeah, dangerous and shitty world.

And it is our job...

Safe and clean, Ben.

To make it look safe and clean.

We know-- image is everything.

Hey, I got it, I got it.

We say that the senator is conducting

a series of tests on the trickle-down theory

in the men's room of the Sheraton.

Jake!

Get the hell out of here.

I know.

Wo * when I'm with her I'm confused *

* out of focus and bemused *

* and I never know exactly where I am *

second wo * unpredictable as weather *

third wo * she's as flighty as a feather *

* she's a darling *

* she's a demon *

* she's a lamb *

* she'll not pester any pest *

* drive a hornet from its nest *

* she can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl *

* she is gentle, she is wise *

* she's a riddle, she's a child *

* she's a headache *

* she's an angel *

* she's a girl *

* oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? *

* how do you hold a moonbeam... *

wo It's very simple to do.

Just choose tomatoes that are the nicest you can find.

How does she do it?

Ben? Ben?

I've just been on the phone with the merritts,

and I suggested that senator lassiter--

oh, sorry. What?

I'm sorry.

Do you--do you have a second?

Oh, sure. Yeah.

I suggested that senator lassiter speak at the--

thank you--fundraiser,

and, um, I said that his presence there

would attract a lot of attention in the press,

and I pointed out that he was

a devout family man.

Good.

We've got to do something about Jake.

What can I do?

We've got to get him cleaned up.

I know you've done everything you can,

it's just his--

his behavior is affecting everyone.

I see how it's bringing you down.

I just think you're such a great guy, Ben.

Thank you, Peggy.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

The best thing for Jake right now

is to stay home and...

Sleep it off.

Hello?

Sandra?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Ah!

Newswo ...Residents are on alert tonight

as the alleged serial killer, "the doctor,"

has apparently claimed another victim.

Coming up--

you should talk to Jake.

Get him to go back into rehab.

We've already been through that one, Ben.

The first time he opened a window

and ran away,

and the second time he got a little buddy

to smuggle him in a case of Remy.

What the hell are we doing?

Is that a rhetorical question?

No.

In that case, ahem--

I am acting out a series

of deep-seated sexual fantasies...

And you are fucking your brother's wife.

You have any idea what it would do to him

if he found out about us?

He's unstable enough as it is.

It'd kill him.

That would be horrible.

I couldn't live with myself.

Well...

We'd better be ready, then.

What does that mean?

Lots of things can happen.

Maybe...

You should make them happen, hmm?

Do you hear what I'm saying,

What do you say?

I hear what you're saying.

I've got to get out of here.

What the hell is that?

Oh, my god. They're back.

W-Well, i--i thought you said

they were supposed to be in palm Springs.

They were.

Oh, my god!

God.

Oh, Christ almighty. Get me out of this thing.

Come on, get me out of this thing.

Give me the key. Where's the key?What?

What do you mean, where's the key?

I don't have the damn key!

You don't have the key?

How the fuck could you not have the key?

Lift it up, lift it.

Yeah, good idea.

How do I get it off my goddamn wrist?

Wo Hello?

Hello?

Sandra, is that your car?

Yoo-hoo.

Oh, it is your car. What are you doing?

Oh, I wanted to show the client the house again at night.

I think he really likes it.

Mr. Spender!

I was just showing him the wine cellar.

Hello.

Mr. and Mrs. Brodsky, whose lovely house this is.

You have a very, very lovely house.

Oh, thank you.

I adore it,

but Mr. Brodsky is determined

to move back to Hawaii.

Aren't you, dear?

Isn't that a coincidence?

Ha ha ha!

That's where Mr. Spender's from.

Isn't that right, Mr. Spender?

Yes.

Oh, wow!

Which island, Mr. Spender?

All of them.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Heh heh.

What do you mean?

He grew up on a boat.

Wasn't that it?

Ha!

Yeah.

Jesus Christ!

Tell me again, why am I taking these chances?

Because you can't help yourself.

Don't forget what we talked about.

What?

You're not your brother's keeper.

Ah, Mr. Merritt.

Eunice and I are honored to meet you, sir.

Merritt: How do you like the dippy doll, senator?

They're unbelievable. Quite unbelievable.

Good. They paid for all of this.

My wife and I would love

to have you over sometime...

To read scripture.

Well...sounds like a plan.

Is that it?

That's it. Ok, go, go.

Well, you know, Mr. Merritt,

in this decade of moral decay,

it's left up to just a few of us

to keep our fingers in the dike.

Quite.

The family that plays together stays together.

Yeah.

I think he's impressed.

I'm not wearing any underwear.

Jesus, Sandra, not here.

Mr. Merritt.

God bless you, reverend. Peg.

Who do have to eat out to get a real drink around here?

Oh, senator.

I'm sure you enjoy fruit punch.

Ahem. Senator. Mrs. Lassiter.

You remember my brother Jake.

Of course.

How do you do?

And his lovely wife Sandra.

Nice to see you.

Jake, you didn't tell me the senator

was so good-looking in person.

Mrs. Lassiter, keep your eye on him.

He's trouble.

No, no, no. Eunice and I

are devoted to each other.

You know, when you get steak at home,

you don't go out for burgers.

Ha ha ha ha!

Best steak I ever had was at the downtown Sheraton.

Senator...

I just remembered... There's someone

I've been dying for you to meet.

Mrs. Lassiter, will you join us?

Sure. Thanks.

If you'll excuse us.

...Two months--yes.

Two months in the Amazon this winter.

Wo That long? Yes.

What the fuck is your problem, Jake?

You want that alphabetically

or by size?

Ben, you've got to promise me something.

If anything happens to me,

I want you to look after Sandra.

The fuck are you talking about?

She's my guardian angel, Ben.

She'd do anything for me.

Thanks.

I love you, Ben.

* follow every rainbow *

* till you find your dream... *

how'd it go with merritt?

Um...we're making progress.

Ha ha ha ha.

Come on, let's go eat down by the pool.

We'll miss the entertainment.

I hate this song.

Don't you hate this song?

If you do.

I really hate this song.

* climb every mountain... *

I can't believe we got the merritt account!

Yeah, this calls for some champagne.

And...well, there's some right there in the fridge.

Make a hell of a team, huh?

We're dippy dolls!

Yeah. That should do it.

* sometimes at night I lie awake *

* just to watch you sleep *

* hear each breath you take *

* when the morning lights your face *

* I just want to hold you *

* and forget the day *

* I live and breathe *

* your every touch *

* do you love me? *

* do you love me? *

oh, baby.

Maybe we should go into the bedroom.

I don't usually rush into these things.

Neither do I.

It's not that I don't want to.

I thought that maybe--

I need to know that it's real.

I'm completely, completely--

I really, really like you. I just--

I need to know that it's real.

Oh, baby.

Whoa! Ooh.

* do you love me? *

oh, my god, it's real.

Peggy?

I just realized--

I've been looking for somebody like you

my whole life.

Don't make fun of me.

I'm not. I'm looking for something real, too.

Are you?

Wait...

I--i just...

I just...

I just need a little time.

What?

I just need a little time.

Uh...of course.

Of course.

Well...

Uh, we could watch some TV.

Maybe catch the fourth quarter of the laker game.

You want some haagen-dazs?

Um...

Oh, oh. Is this Mildred Pierce?

Did you know this was on?No.

We have to watch this.

It's my favorite Joan Crawford movie.

Mine, too.

Oh, Ben...

You're such a great guy.

Girl in movie: ...You'll never be anything but a common frump

whose father lived over a grocery store

and whose mother took in washing.

With this money, I can get away

from every rotten, stinking thing

that makes me think of this place or you!

Ben.

Tonight meant a lot to me.

Me, too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Ben, are you trying to avoid me?

What the hell are you doing here?

Missing you.

This is fucking great.

Fucking really great.

You know, little miss prissy

might be good for your image,

but I'm good for your imagination.

Don't even start with that shit.

I'm trying to get something real in my life for a change.

We have something real.

It could be something real.

All it would take would be one little push.

All right. Come on, get out of the car.

Let's go.

I'm not getting out till you climb in.

Get the fuck out of the car.

Get the fuck--

all right, fuck it.

I'll take a goddamn cab.

Don't you walk away from me!

Don't you ever walk away from me!

Give me the goddamn keys!

It is over!

You pick Jake up off the floor

and leave me the fuck alone.

You don't mean that!

Stop! You don't mean that!

I know you don't mean that!

The hell I don't.

It's not gonna be that easy!

It's not gonna be that easy!

For you!

Wo Life is beautiful.

Ben! Ben! Sorry! It's Jake.

I think he's--

Goddamn!

Goddamn it!

Jake! Jake! Just stop it, man.

Get the fuck off me!

Stop it, Jake!

What the hell's the matter with you?

She's cheating on me, Ben. She's cheating on me.

She's fucking cheating on me!

Keep it down, keep it down.

I don't care! I don't care who knows!

Get out of here!

I don't fucking care!

Goddamn!

Get in here.

You've no idea! No fucking idea!

You have no idea!

All fucking night!

I lay up all night!

Jake.

I was there all night!Calm down.

She didn't come home! She didn't come home!

Just calm down a minute and tell me.

Are you sure?

She wouldn't tell me where she was.

And I asked her, finally!

I said, "are you having an affair?"

And she said,

"it's about fucking time you noticed!"

Did she say who it was?

No.

No.

You gotta help me find this--this prick, Ben.

I gotta get my hands on him.

I just want to fucking cut his balls off!

Goddamn it, Jake.

What do you expect?

It's not exactly like you've been

husband of the year.

I'm gonna fuck her.

Fuck!

All right, get back to work!

Jake, Sandra is a wonderful and devoted

and caring woman.

No matter what's happened,

you need to go down on both knees for her.

Yeah, well, somebody obviously did.

Jake!

Well, Ben...

It's easy for you to say,

you're always on top of everything.

I'm just a fucking mess.

I've just got my head so far up

in a fucking bottle, Ben.

We'll get through it.

What do you mean we?

We?

Christ!

She's not messing around on you, Ben.

Ah...fuck it.

Oh, bless your heart! Thank you.

You're welcome.

You'll never wake up to find her sucking you.

What?

You'll never wake up to find her sucking you.

Shut your mouth.

Please.

I have an open house tomorrow--2929 coreo.

I expect you there at 2 P.M. sharp.

Not on your fucking life.

Maybe it's time I tell your little brother

just who I have been fucking,

or maybe I should tell little miss manners.

I have plans tomorrow. I can't break them.

Break them.

Ben.

Ben!

Sorry.

Oh...uh, sorry.

I was thinking.

You want me to get that?

No, no. It's all right.

Um, I took care of the reservations.

You did?

Of course.

I can't believe we're actually doing this.

It's so impetuous.

Well, if you think...

Uh...um...

If you--if you think we're rushing into something...

Oh, no.

I understand.

I'm ready.

Me, too.

Carpe diem, you know?

Seize the day.

Shall we?

Joan! Wo Yeah?

Let my voice mail pick up any messages.

All right, I got it.

That was some weekend, huh?

I never thought Vegas could be so romantic.

I don't know.

You bit me.

I'm tired.

You know, most people try to sleep at night.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Mmm, that sounds good.

That tastes good.

I'll come join you.

Hello.

Hey, you bastard.

Who is this?

Who the fuck do you think it is?

It's the brother whose wife you're fucking.

Yeah, that's right.

Hello?

You got nothing to say, Ben?

Nothing!?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Who is it?

Sorry, that's just not going

to cut it, you fuck.

Where's Sandra?

Yeah...now what? Are you gettin' horny?

Well, tough shit.

You'll just have to wait until I'm dead.

It won't be that long!

Now what is that supposed to mean?

Is that Jake?

After I'm dead, you can bone her...

Is that Jake? What's he saying?

...and you won't have to feel guilty...

Will you shut the fuck up?

You did feel guilty,

didn't you, Ben, just a little?

Just tell me you felt a little bit guilty!

Come on, Ben, now's your chance!

Just a little guilty!

Fuck.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm sorry.

It just...

Happened.

No!

It just-- it just happened?

What, you just tripped over the coffee table

and landed right on top of her,

is that right?

Where are you, Jake?

I'm leaning on the balcony right now, ol' Ben.

Aw, fuck this!

You know, i--i gotta fly, man.

I-i-I'm checking out,

but first I'm going to make a few choice phone calls.

I want the whole world to know

what a beautiful person you are.

You know, image is everything.

Image... Image is everything.

Jake, now you listen to me.

No, no, no, no!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Shut up!

Shut up! It's too late, buddy boy.

Elvis has left the fucking building!

I'll see you in hell!

I'm going home if you want to apologize.

Operator: ...Please hang up and try again.

Don't ever talk to me like that again!

3:35 P.M.

Bill was holding a training session

for the division explorer scouts.

I had just returned to the station

after attending a police community council meeting.

I spotted officers jeffries and braven having coffee.

I took the opportunity to talk with them.

Man on TV: Hiya, sarge. How's it going?

Good. Mind if I join you?

Sure. Have a chair.

How are things on the street?

Pretty good. We had a burglar...

Say, do you remember stopping a couple

named Erickson last night?

Yeah. How'd you know?

They were in this morning.

That guy was mad before we stopped him.

Ben on answering machine: Hello, this is Ben,

leave it at the beep.

No!!

Hi, Ben.

Nice to see you.

Hi, Ben!

You're so predictable.

I knew you could do it.

Whoa!

Ok, all right, um...

Jake, you little shit bastard!

Don't.it's part of the plan.

It'll leave a Mark.

Jake!

Give it up, Ben.

When I get my hands on you,

I'm going to kill you, you bastard.

You bastard!

Jake!

Let go! Yeah, that's good.

That's good, baby, that's good.

Give my best to mom and dad!

Push. Help me push him!

Help me, Jake.

Whoa.

Aah!

You're right... Detective...

I killed my brother.

Where exactly were you when his brother took a header?

I was in the kitchen making ceviche.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

It relaxes me.

So then what, Mr. Dunmore?

I just told him to leave me alone.

So let me get this straight.

You wanted to kill yourself?

Something like that.

Jake's been going through

a very rough time lately.

Yeah.

I'm, uh...

I'm, uh...

I'm an alcoholic.

Hey, welcome to the club.

So you're brother came over to try to stop you?

I tried to get Jake to come down,

but he wouldn't listen to me...

I'm sorry.

So I called Ben.

So then what? He came in and sat down next to you?

Uh, no. He was-- he was behind me, I think.

He...

I just wanted to die.

Don't we all?

Mr. Dunmore, did you threaten to jump?

I--i said a lot of things.

I was confused, I don't--

what'd your brother do then?

That's...

That's when...

He fell.

I tried to grab him, I did...

It's ok.

It's ok, honey.

I never thought...

Something like this could happen.

Female Come on, I want a tuna melt.

Why?!

Why?

So what do you think?

I think it's sad how many lives are destroyed

by the abuse of alcohol in our society.

Are you fucking for real?

Yes, ma'am.

In that apartment, there is a lost soul.

He's compounded that tragedy by turning to the bottle.

And now his brother is dead,

and his poor wife has to pick up the pieces.

Where are you from, Mars?

Salt lake.

Great, I got partnered with brigham young.

I don't see what relevance that has to my job.

That's my point, pencil dick.

If you're insinuating a person can't be

spiritual and still be effective...

Relax, John Paul,

if we're going to work together,

we're going to have to let

a little more shit roll of our backs.

I don't like it.

I don't trust anybody over 10

who listens to the sound of music.

Buckle up.

So what do we do now?

I don't know.

Well, I can make an omelet.

An omelet?

Well, it's getting late. We haven't eaten all day.

I could whip us up some--

trying to kill me, too?

You know my cholesterol is out of control, Sandra.

Honey.

Those fucking cops!

I swear, they didn't believe a word we said.

You saw it, just stringing us along,

waiting for one of us to trip up.

We don't even know Ben's dead.

He's a resilient prick.

He's probably gonna come traipsing in here

with a hard-on.

Honey...

It's over.

He is dead.

And I love you.

I love you more than...

Anything in the whole wide world.

I love you, too.

Detective, guess what.

Guess what.

You're quitting.

No. Ben dunmore was heavily insured

through his company.

Oh, louganis.

Let me guess who the beneficiary is.

The woman I talked to didn't know,

said she'd have to check,

but the parents are dead,

and the only living relative is the brother.

Well...

Doesn't that just about shatter your faith in mankind?

No.

Now what we've got is a death consistent with a long fall!

47 fractures of the legs, arms, hands, ribs, and skull;

massive laceration of the liver, spleen, and lung.

Well, not pretty,

but nothing to indicate foul play.

Still could have been an accident.

Yeah, and this is my real hair color.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wo Life is beautiful.

Very regrettable.

Real tragedy.

A real tragedy.

Ben was a 6-headed vishnu of public relations.

We're going to miss him.

Very focused.

Great closer, just like his old man.

What's the brother like?

Jake...very creative,

but unfocused.

A genuine artistic temperament.

Why'd he work here?

Mr. Bradley,

what set him to drinking?

He, uh...

He lost his center.

I don't know why.

What starts anybody on the sauce?

Financial difficulties, marital problems,

stress, poor self-esteem,

emotional trauma, genetic imprinting.

He watches too much daytime TV.

Wo Like I said, Ben had our standard life policy,

which we provide for all our executives:

$2 million coverage...

With a double indemnity clause for accidental death.

That's $4 million.

Who's the lucky beneficiary?

Since his parents are dead,

Jake would receive the entire estate.

What's her deal?

Her name's Peggy Blaine.

Easy, easy.

Is it true about Ben?

I'm afraid so, ma'am.

I'm--i'm...

Peggy.

Ok, ok, honey, I know. I know it's a shock.

I'm detective pompano.

I'm just curious-- did you work with Ben?

Ben was my husband.

He was my husband.

We got married 3 days ago in Las Vegas.

Ben was going to announce it this week.

We were going to have a big party.

How long were you together?

Not--not very long.

It was love at first sight...

At least for me.

Ben and I didn't advertise it.

So you're fucking this guy,

and no one in the office knows it.

Well...

You know how office gossip is.

Yes.

Well, I do.

Wipe your mouth.

We talked to Jake last night.

He didn't know his brother got married.

We had just got back from Las Vegas when Jake called.

Jake called? Are you sure?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I don't know, maybe.

Uh, Ben answered the phone.

Maybe it was Sandra.

I thought it was an accident.

Why are you asking me all these weird questions?

Are my questions weird, detective rollins?

Rude maybe, but not weird.

They're not weird, see?

Didn't you get suspicious

when been didn't return to the honeymoon suite

after he went to see Jake?

Um, well, we...

Just had our first fight.

Just stupid stuff,

and, um...

Then I went back over to my place

because I thought it...

That he would come over...

And apologize.

I'm such an idiot!

The last words I said to him were in anger.

Ma'am...

It's all right.

His soul is with god,

and he knows that you love him.

Fucking Ben! I can't believe it!

Everything he touches turns into a nightmare.

Oh, honey, calm down!

Calm down?

What do you mean?

God, he runs off and marries Barbie doll,

and he's fucking you not 3 weeks ago.

Jake!

What? The plan was to get rid of Ben,

not to have you sleep with him every 3 minutes.

You told me you would never mention that again.

I did that for you, I did that for us.

Maybe I'm not getting through to you, Sandra.

Ben died without a will.

His estate has to go through probate,

it's a state process.

I can't control it.

You killed him for nothing.

We killed him, we did it together.

You know what I mean.

So what are we going to do?

She's his wife,

even if it is for only 3 days.

I'll be lucky to get

fucking golf clubs out of her.

There's got to be some way around this, Jake.

We're entitled to that money.

We're entitled to it.

We did all the work,

we took all the chances,

and she gets all the money,

it's immoral.

She just waltzes in,

and now Ben's life has no meaning.

That money is ours.

We can't let this happen.

And we won't.

Hey.

Well, we've already done it once before, honey.

I mean, the cow's out of the barn.

Do you think?

Well, we'd have to be really good,

better than good.

We'd have to think of an airtight alibi this time.

Well, we got to do something.

We've planned too much.

$4 million, tax-free.

Ours for the taking.

We just got to do it, honey.

Sweetie, why don't you go wash your hands?

Souffle's ready.

Ben was a good man, he was a spiritual man,

but he was not a man people easily understood.

You see, I know he had a secret love.

A love of humanity.

He wanted to touch everyone he met.

And who here has not been touched by Ben

in some special way?

He had the soul of a poet.

He made all of our lives a little richer,

and though god has silenced his ineffable organ,

his music...

Plays on.

Let us pray.

Peggy, Peggy, dear!

Not a good idea!

Ooh.

That bitch'll get hers.

Girl's got a good right hook.

I hate funerals.

They're an undeniable reminder of man's mortality.

Are you gay?

No. No, I'm not gay.

Just curious.

Why would you think I'm gay?

No reason.

Then why-- why did you ask?

Let's get lunch. You hungry?

Well, why would you think I'm gay?

What are you in the mood for?

Tacos? Burgers?

Quiche?

Jake!

Hello, Luther.

Afternoon, Jake.

Jake, you and I need to have a talk.

About what?

We need to ponder your future with the firm.

I realize things have been difficult,

but now that Ben's passed on,

I'm really looking forward to recommitting to the firm.

Jake, the Dalai Lama once told me

that the perfect way is only difficult

for those who pick and choose.

Peace, Luther.

Naughty reform school boy.

Yeah, fuck me like a little republican.

What's the matter, honey?

I'm thinking about Peggy.

No, don't.

Bradley's going to get rid of me as soon as he can,

and all I want to do is give you the...

Life you deserve.

Don't be too careful.

No, but the waiting's driving me crazy.

I know, I know, honey. I'm working on it.

Yeah, that helps.

Uhh! Just be patient.

That's the 95% of life I hate, is waiting.

What's the other 5%?

Um...I'll have to tell you in a minute.

Big drinker?

Let's just say non-stop.

Non-stop, huh?

The guy could drink for a month in one night.

Oh, yeah. What about him?

Him? Black coffee, occasional diet Pepsi.

They were brothers, right?

What makes you ask that?

Well, they look alike.

Besides, he was always in here

nagging Jake about his drinking.

I mean, he was a nice guy.

He was sincere.

It's a shame about what happened.

Oh, yeah?

Well, maybe if you'd cut him off from time-to-time,

none of this ever would have happened.

Alcohol pollutes the soul of society and destroys lives.

Don't you ever think about that at all?

Doesn't that just eat at your conscience?

Thanks for your help.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm just tired of people

shirking responsibility for their actions.

News flash-- the world is shit,

people are bad, we're all going to die.

Deal with it.

How do you wake up every day being so doggoned cynical?

Because, rollins, somebody killed Bambi's mom.

Be back for happy hour!

Poor kid, huh?

Out on a jog, and wham-- it's over.

At least she died healthy.

Aw, now, see, this makes me sick.

Two million bucks for some spilled coffee.

A woman gets $2 million for spilling hot coffee on herself.

I do that every day. What do I get? Coffee stains.

Rita, face one thing, will you, please?

You're gonna have to work for your pension

just like the rest of us.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say

when you'll be lying on a beach in Hawaii this time next week.

Tahiti. I'll be lying on a beach in Tahiti.

I told you that a thousand times.

I don't think men should wear spandex, do you?

You are so nuts.

Man on TV: Great legs.

Why, thank you,

but I have a confession to make.

I've quit using my thighmaster...

'Cause now I'm using thighmaster plus.

Introducing new thighmaster plus--

A tragic morning

for another young woman in the West Side,

as the man known as the doctor

kills his fourth victim in less than 3 months.

As in the other deaths, the 28-year-old grad student

was found with a syringe containing residue

of the powerful drug curare in her neck.

Stay tuned for more kzbx news.

Sandra, come on. Let's go.

Yeah, just a minute.

TV Roger Dawson's secrets of power negotiating.

I don't know why you bother with this church shit,

I got to say.

I like doing good things, helping out.

Besides, there's so much more to do now

because of Ben's absence.

Sandra, we killed Ben.

Yes.

There's no reason that reverend finlayson should suffer. Hmm?

I know what to do about our little problem.

You do?

We make it look like...

A serial killing.

Jake, my boy!

Reverend.

Ha ha ha! How are you holding up?

Oh, it's been very hard, of course,

but much better, thank you.

Sandra's been great. Oh...

Well, be sure to lock up when you're done.

Certainly.

I know I keep doing this,

but, Jake...

You've got a wonderful partner.

Yes, sir.

Listen to her.

I always do.

God bless.

Goddamn it.

A serial killing?

Sandra... Don't you think

that's a bit of a stretch?

No. He's out there right now,

cruising for his next victim...

Who happens to be little miss Peggy blane.

Just think about it.

The doctor's m.O. Is very specific...

Easy to duplicate.

How?

She is a creature of habit, believe me.

I know her schedule.

It really is the only way, Jake.

And nobody will ever suspect us.

I hope you don't expect me to do it.

No.

I have somebody in mind. Haven't seen him for years.

Oh...he is not an old boyfriend.

You silly goose.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! What the hell do you want?

We're looking for Mike.

Don't know any Mike.

Will sent us.

Will sent who?

Us.

Come on. Come on inside. Hurry up.

Fritz, sit! Platz!

We got 10 minutes to get these vehicles out of here.

You got that?

So, Mike, what we want is for you to copy the doctor.

Can you do that?

The doctor's a hack. He's an amateur.

You really want it done like that?

Yeah. That's how it's got to be...

To the "t."

Do you have any qualms about killing women?

No.

No qualms.

They die easier.

At least, some of them do.

Mike...

Will you do it?

I don't know. I don't know.

Ok. I'll do it.

Your wife's been following me.

Well, of course she is, peg.

She's trying to learn your habits and routines, you know.

Ready? Ready.

Ahem. You, uh...

You got them, uh, lab reports on Ben dunmore?

We got those a week ago.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I can't seem to find 'em.

Lesson number one on being a detective.

Follow me, Barney fife.

This is your locker.

It is not a medicine cabinet/ closet/refrigerator.

It is for important papers. Anything you need stays in here.

Once it enters the general population, you are fucked.

You'll lose it. It'll get pissed on.

It'll find a way to walk out of here.

Your locker is special. Keep it clean.

Don't let anybody near it. It's kind of like your dick.

You don't have to talk to me like I'm an idiot.

I'm sorry.

Dunmore.

Man on radio: Unit 5 to northridge campus.

Unit 5 to northridge campus. Do you need any assistance?

Uh, that's a negative.

Equipment guy found it about an hour ago.

Student at the college here. We've alerted the parents.

Man on radio: Roger. We copy.

At least he used a clean needle.

I can't imagine how frightened

she must have been.

I can. I was married to a dentist.

Hey! Hey! Watch the flowers.

Sorry, ma'am. Jesus!

Yes, ma'am.

Lester! Shoot the crowd.

Yes, ma'am, shootin' the crowd.

Hey, is Mike there?

Who's there?

Jake...dunmore.

Yo! Michael!

You got company.

Don't think you can come here

anytime you want, buddy boy.

Shit like that will get you killed.

Couldn't be helped.

What do you want?

Um...

There's been a change in plans.

I don't want you to kill Peggy blane.

Sorry, no refunds.

I don't want one.

That's good. That's good, because you can't forget

who you're dealing with, you know what I mean?

You see this fuck here?

This fuck forgot who he was dealing with.

Didn't you, you fucked fuck?

Didn't you forget? He forgot.

I want you to kill my wife.

All right, fuck. Come over here.

Get over here.

Why don't you come and sit on the couch?

Sit on the couch, all right? Sit here on the couch.

You're fucking her, ain't ya?

You shouldn't do that--

playing the field when you got a beautiful wife.

That's bad. That's very bad.

Listen to me, Mike.

You got my money, right? I want you to kill my wife.

You got any kids?

Uh...no.

No, no kids.

Ok. I'm gonna do it...

But it's gonna cost you double.

Double?

She's gonna fight.

Yeah, um...

I kind of dig her, you know?

Double's fine. Just soon, all right?

Got to think about a couple particulars.

It shouldn't be too long.

All right.

Hey...

Did you like my practice run?

Northridge college.

Ok, look for the needle in the shitpile.

These are crowd shots from all 5 murders.

We want to separate potential suspects

from your average scumbag citizen.

Ma'am, you know, we're sworn to serve and protect.

If you hate everybody so much,

why are you doing this job?

'Cause every once in a while,

I get to shoot somebody.

Look for anybody who pops up

in more than one crime scene.

Ok.

Sandra singing along with Julie Andrews: * raindrops on roses *

* and whiskers on kittens *

* bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens *

* brown paper packages tied up with strings *

* these are a few of my favorite things *

Julie Andrews: * cream-colored ponies *

* and crisp apple strudels *

* doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles *

* I must have done something good *

breakfast is almost ready.

I'm not gonna eat.

Where are you going?

I thought I'd go to the office

and say hi to everybody.

You're on leave.

I think it'll look better to the cops

if I check in with the company.

Oh. And I'm going to an a.A. Meeting tonight,

so I'll be late.

Do you have to? I was hoping we could go see a movie.

Oh...I'm sorry, little one.

Appearances, remember?

Honey? Yeah?

I love you, honey.

I love you, too.

* I must have done something good *

Oh, my god.

Son of a bitch.

Aaah! Aah!

* waaah! *

* I feel good *

* I knew that I would, now *

* I feel good *

* I knew that I would, now *

* so good *

* so good *

* I got you *

give me that.

* waaah! *

* I feel nice *

* like sugar and spice *

* I feel nice *

* like sugar and spice *

Do you love me, Jake?

Now, what kind of question is that?

Look at all the chances I'm taking for you...

For us.

Everything I'm doing is to give you

the life you deserve.

Kill her, Jake. Kill her for me.

Trust me.

No...

Oh, Jake...

Jake...

Howdy, ma'am.

Fill 'er up?

Please.

He was in 4 and number 5...

I can't take this anymore.

Hey, who snuck the bourbon

in Mr. Rogers' soda pop?

I did.

It equalizes the pressure by constricting blood flow.

Oh. I thought you just couldn't find a lampshade.

I think I got something.

This shot's from northridge,

this one's from number two at the rosemont.

Take a look-- this guy and this guy.

What do you think?

Focus! Shut up!

All right, we got him...

Excellent.

And we got him.

Bingo.

That's pretty. This is pretty.

No, no, no, it's not him.

That guy's got an earring in his nose.

The guy in the bottom doesn't.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

Maybe he had it put in.

That's a later picture.

This one?

Well, I guess he's earned his cookies for today.

Back to the drawing board, gentlemen.

Hey, baby, you keep that up,

you're gonna live forever.

Don't make fun of me.

Oh, I'm not.

I'm not making fun. I like it.

What's the matter?

Sometimes... I just...

Um...

Have all these...

Thoughts that...

You're doing this... All for...

Um...the money.

No. Peg, baby...

How can you say that? Hmm?

I don't care about money.

I'm an artist.

You are.

Yeah.

Can I help you?

Do any of these cars run?

All of them...

But I'd go for this cougar.

She ain't beautiful, but she still can kick.

Radio works good, even got a cassette player.

How much?

I'm asking 700.

$700? Don't you think that's a little steep?

I'll let it go for 6.

I have $300 cash.

There's an a.T.M. Machine at the store.

Jesus!

Hey, who is that?

All right, asshole!

Oh, man! Go faster!

Hey! Jake, go faster!

Hang on. Hang on!

Can't see.

Some crazy motherfucker!

Jesus! Shit!

Singing along with radio: * so long, farewell *

* auf wiedersehen, good-bye *

who is that?

It's your fucking wife!

Pull over!

I can outrun her!

Get away from us, you bitch!

* so long, farewell *

it's not what you think!

I thought you said we were on the same team!

Baby, it's a business thing!

Well, I'm wearing my team ring.

Please, Sandra, pull over!

Go faster!

Sandra, don't! Please don't do this!

Please! Aah!

* I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne *

* I sigh and say good-bye *

* good-bye *

* I'm glad to go *

* I cannot tell a lie *

* I flit, I float *

* I fleetly flee, I fly *

* good-bye *

* good-bye *

* good-bye *

* I have confidence in sunshine *

* I have confidence in rain *

* I have confidence that spring will come again *

* besides which, you see, I have confidence in me *

* strength doesn't lie in numbers *

* strength doesn't lie in wealth *

* strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers *

* when you wake up *

* wake up! It's healthy *

* all I trust I lead my heart to *

* all I trust becomes my own *

* I have confidence in confidence alone *

oh, help...

* I have confidence in confidence alone *

* besides which, you see *

* I have confidence *

* in me *

hey, Rita! You got a call on 3.

Pompano on telephone: Yeah?

Hello, detective? This is Sandra dunmore.

I think something's happened to my husband.

Easy, now. What makes you say that?

Well, he didn't come home last night, and...

He's been very despondent since his brother's death.

When was the last time you saw him?

Yesterday morning.

He said he was going to the office, but I called them.

They said he never showed up.

I wouldn't be too worried.

Chances are he'll wake up in a pile of his own fluids.

I do not appreciate your attitude, detective.

Shit!

Nobody does.

I'll put an a.P.B. Out on your husband's vehicle,

and when I know anything, I'll give you a call.

Thank you, thank you.

Bitch.

Two bodies.

One bike, two bodies.

Did you I.D. 'Em?

Well, uh...

One's regular, one's extra crispy.

We just know the bike's registered to Gerald dunmore.

This one's wearing jewelry.

Probably a woman.

Thank you, Sherlock.

What do you make of this?

Looks like they tried to take that turn there

a little bit too fast.

This is a dangerous road here, especially at night.

Me and old Willie there,

we come down here 2 or 3 times a year,

picking somebody up out of that burned metal.

Let's get out of here.

The fresh air's making me sick.

Hey, Willie, have you got my thermos?

It's a positive I.D., based on this dental chart.

Jake dunmore.

And Peggy blane.

They were having an affair?

No, they were celebrating earth day,

you fucking mook.

I guess we should go over and tell Mrs. Dunmore.

The widow dunmore can wait.

There's something I want to check out first.

Do you realize anything we find here

would be inadmissible in a court of law?

Are you confusing me with somebody who gives a shit?

Oh, no, wouldn't do that.

Gotcha.

Not since the Kennedy boys

have two brothers had so much fun with one broad.

What exactly are we looking for?

Pompano, I said, what are we looking for?

I hope you don't get carsick.

Let's go, asswad.

I never had the occasion to come here before.

I'll give you some advice: Bet it all.

I don't gamble, detective...

Though I'd love to see siegfried and Roy.

Oh, I'm sure you would.

What do you mean by that?

Nothin'.

Margaret "Peggy" blane,

Benjamin e. Dunmore.

Well, yeah, that's one of ours, all right.

Witnessed by homer there.

Put the accordion away, homer. We're not getting married.

So you remember what these two looked like?

Oh, lordy. Do you realize

how many couples we wed in holy matrimony?

They tend to blur.

Well, here's a picture of the two you married.

They look familiar?

Well, they do. They surely do...

But then again, you two look familiar to me.

That's a lot of help.

Why don't we look in the album?

What album?

The photo album.

An archive of every loving soul we've united.

The date you're looking for should be right about here.

Hold it.

See? I do remember this guy.

He pitched a fit when I took that picture.

He took it with him.

But what he didn't know was the camera makes two prints.

TV Roy lassiter: Proven character,

conservative values.

Mrs. Dunmore.

Who is it?

Detective pompano.

Who is it?

Rita pompano.

You're telling me

that Jake and Peggy were having an affair?

That's right.

Ma'am, this photo was taken

at the gambling-on-love chapel in Las Vegas.

Your husband and miss blane were married there

under the names Ben and Peggy dunmore.

My Jake...

That doesn't make any sense.

The night that Ben was killed, were you here?

Yes. I already told you that.

At the time of his death?

Yes. I was in the kitchen, making a casserole.

I thought you said you were making ceviche.

Right. Ceviche.

You sure, now? Ceviche?

I can't believe it.

Jake had an affair.

Mrs. Dunmore, we think that

your husband pushed his brother

off that balcony.

We think that

he conspired with Peggy blane

to kill his brother

for the insurance money.

Jake impersonated his brother,

and by marrying Peggy,

he took the suspicion off himself.

There was no motive for the crime

because Peggy got the money.

He was already married to me.

Ma'am, I know this is tough, but...

We feel that Jake and Peggy

were planning on killing you, too.

Luckily for you,

they didn't live to carry out that plan.

This is...Impossible.

M-My husband...

Would never cheat on me!

He loved me.

He loved me.

Yes, ma'am, it's gonna be ok.

You just...Have yourself a good old cry.

Do you think she'll ever come to accept the truth?

Well, she's got 8 million bucks worth of time to swallow it.

Why would anybody ever cheat and conspire

on a woman like that?

Hey, rollins, why don't you head back to the station?

I feel like taking a walk.

You sure?

Yeah...

Yeah, I need to clear my head.

Well, everyone needs to find their own homeostasis.

Rollins, what's your first name?

Nathaniel.

Good work up there, Nate.

Watch your head. Go on.

Just a minute!

I'll... I'll be right there.

I'm sorry...

Cut the crap, honey. You're wasting good mascara.

What are you doing?

Pissin' in your cornflakes.

That earlier story, the one rollins also told our captain...

That's not the real story.

You and I both know the truth, don't we, Sandra?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, come on. It's just you and me now. We both know

that you and Jake killed Ben for the insurance money.

I just think it's time we tied up all the loose ends.

I see.

I'm going to have to call your superiors.

And I'm gonna have to call your bluff.

Why are you doing this to me?

I think you knew about Jake and Peggy.

I think you found out and drove 'em off a mountain.

I think you did them before they could do you,

and in the process... Picked up $4 million

off Jake's life insurance policy,

not to mention the 4

you'll most likely get from Ben's.

Where's your proof?

Proof...i never thought of that.

Proof.

You think something like an a.T.M. Receipt

from a machine up in hemet the day of the accident

might qualify?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Really?

Oh. Well, then, um...

How about...

This?

So?

You know, I found this

in an abandoned cougar downtown.

Matched the make of a car

some old woman sold to you...

Or, at least, someone in a red wig

who looked just like you.

They tell me this mysterious red-haired woman

paid cash for the car

but then had to use the a.T.M. Machine

at a liquor store.

That's a big boo-boo.

You just don't get it, do you, Sandy?

Oh...you see...

Either the world's right-side up or upside down.

Depends on how you look at it.

I mean, close the book of rules,

and there's just people caught in situations.

Like you and me.

So, what do you want?

I want what you want:

A payoff. A nest egg.

A chance to get out of this rat race.

You sure you don't want the other half of my sandwich?

I'm worried about you. You should eat something.

Have a little bread, something...A little bite.

Come on, taste that. Oh, boy. You're stubborn.

You know, at first, I thought...

What the hell... Take it all.

But then, not being greedy like some people I know...

I mean, after all, you did do all the work,

even if a lot of it was on your back.

So I figure, um...Half.

50-50 split, right down the middle.

It's gonna take some time, you know.

Bureaucracy, paperwork,

all that... Insurance company bullshit.

I'm not going anywhere.

But let's--let's get one thing clear, ok?

Don't even think about fucking me over.

Don't leave town, don't push me in front of a bus,

don't do anything...

Because you haven't even seen my bad side yet.

And I've got enough evidence in my locker

to put you in the gas chamber.

So...

I guess half is better than nothing.

Yes, it is.

You know, Sandra,

a lot of people find you scary,

but I like you.

The world's full of bullshit.

You don't bullshit. I like that.

Well, keep in touch, partner.

I'm sorry.

Northridge. Fuck!

Stop, goddamn it! Stop!

Stop!

Move, you green bastard!

Aah!

Get over there.

Get your fucking hands up. Get your fucking hands up!

Let go of her. Goddamn it, let go of her!

Let the girl go. Don't do it this way. You want to die?

You don't want me to shoot you, asshole.

Aah...

Aah! Ohh...

Yes! You got him! Yes!

Shoot the freak! Come on!

Come on! One more shot!

Shut up!

Rough day, huh?

I'm sorry, but I've got an investment to protect.

Aah! Unh...

Sandra, Sandra, Sandra...

Whatcha got in your hand? Hmm?

Gonna baste a Turkey with that?

Ooh...

What's this?

Sandra, trust me. This is what's best.

What's best for you.

Believe me, I know about these things.

You'll thank me.

Isn't this coercion?

Will you excuse us a moment?

Stop playing games and sign the damn thing.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

I guess not.

I'll make sure that the money will be wired

into your separate accounts by tomorrow evening.

Thank you for using Austrian fidelity bank.

Thank you.

Hey...

Can I buy you a strudel?

Do you think people can change?

I don't know. I think they only get worse.

I was able to change...

'Cause inside, I knew I was much more

than what I was living mentally and emotionally and spiritually.

And I was able to find my passion.

You sure did.

That's what most people haven't done.

Most people don't know what they really want,

so they're not able to tap into their drive.

And then they don't discover what they're really capable of.

I know what you're capable of.

I feel I have so much to give.

Hey!

You're under arrest.

I'm--I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

I saw you two walking,

and I just thought that...

I...wow!

You've... You both look so...

So...

So, uh...

So...what are you doing here?

Well, uh, what are you doing here?

Well, I sort of got my hands full

with vice president lassiter being in town.

Vice president lassiter! Whoa!

Ha ha! You've got your hands full.

Terrific seeing you, rollins.

You look absolutely the same.

I didn't think it would,

but retirement sure suits you.

Yeah. Thank you so much.

I just want to tell you that...

I have the cleanest locker in the precinct.

I'm sure you do.

It's next to godliness.

Ok, that's terrific.

Good-bye.

Don't be a stranger.

Aw, not with you.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

Wow.

Sure is nice to see good things happen to good people.

I mean it.

* till you find *

* your dream *

* deep in the heart of every man *

* lies a hidden dream or plan *

* to be a millionaire *

* life without a care *

* hey, cool cat *

* does this apply to you? *

* oh, don't you lie, don't you lie *

* 'cause you can't hide the truth *

* I can see what's behind those eyes *

* tongue so twisted from telling lies *

* you might think you're strong *

* but you better not treat me wrong *

* or else I'll say, "so long" *

* good-bye, I never want to see you again *

* good-bye, I don't want to be your friend *

* so long, now we've reached the end *

* time for me to turn that bend *

* well, time has run away *

* and there's no need for me to stay *

* and lose myself to you *

* and be abused by you *

* I don't need the pain *

* from your mind games *

* when you try them again, I won't be there for them *

* to work anymore *

* ooh ooh ooh ooh *

* ooh ooh ooh ooh *

* now you're back, and you're begging "please" *

* crawlin' on your hands and knees *

* you thought you were a star *

* but now here you are *

* hey, cool cat *

* does this apply to you? *

* oh, don't you lie, don't you lie *

* 'cause you can't hide the truth *

* I can see what's behind those eyes *

* tongue so twisted from telling lies *

* you might think you're strong *

* but you better not treat me wrong *

* or else I'll say, "so long" *

* good-bye, I never want to see you again *

* good-bye, I don't want to be your friend *

* so long, now we've reached the end *

* time for me to turn that bend *

* well, time has run away *

* and there's no need for me to stay *

* and lose myself to you *

* and be abused by you *

* I don't need the pain *

* from your mind games *

* when you try them again, I won't be there for them *

* to work anymore *