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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,280 If it were me 2 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,600 Like, straight out of an action movie 3 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,600 all bad ass 4 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,120 I would walk up the stairs 5 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,760 to his apartment and be like 6 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,160 "Yo backup singer bitch" 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,360 "Open up!" [knocking sounds] 8 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:41,760 as soon as she opens the door 9 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:42,760 I'd be like... 10 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,320 [Gunshot] 11 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,480 Seriously? 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,640 You SHOT me. 13 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,320 [Opening credits music] 14 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:05,280 What? 15 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,120 This is about that money pit you're dating. 16 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,000 It's not about the girls he's two-timing you with. 17 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,880 By "money pit"you mean the tone-deaf child 18 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,680 who uses concerts I bankroll as a personal pussy parade? 19 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:22,360 Dude, if you shot every girl that monster has ever slept with we're left with like, Sa 20 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,080 and that's it. 21 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,400 Oh no, and me. 22 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,000 Fine. I won't shoot her and 23 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,400 her stupid ugly fat face. 24 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,200 [punching sound] 25 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,160 What? 26 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,080 She surprised me. 27 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,960 Honey! I'm home. 28 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,000 Were we supposed to wear something under these? 29 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,960 Hey babe, I see you met my backup singer. 30 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,120 She's out of the band. 31 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,520 Your guitar never sounded better! 32 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:25,920 Come on. 33 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,240 Seriously? 34 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,840 You surprise me. 35 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,520 How thoughtful. 36 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,080 Gross. 37 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,480 I'm going to finish you. 38 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,360 Realllly? 39 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,080 'Cause usually I have to do that myself afterwards. 40 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,640 I clothe you. I feed you. 41 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,480 I buy your fancy custom guitar picks. 42 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,880 I'm gonna need more of those, by the way. 43 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,360 And then I find a Myspace page chronicling your rock n roll sexcapades! 44 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,280 Babe! 45 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,480 I'm sorry Jimmy. There's no encore tonight 46 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,760 Oh, now you go down. 47 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:40,720 Dude. 48 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:41,520 What? 49 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,360 That is totally unrealistic. 50 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:44,880 It's a fantasy. 51 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,720 Hmm. It's no fun if it could never happen. 52 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,520 I found it pretty satisfying. 53 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:50,800 You smudged. 54 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,680 Found it! 55 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,640 It's gonna look so good. 56 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,280 Okay. Fine, let's hear your fantasy. 57 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,560 But good luck coming up with something better than stomach-fucking your boyfriend with his own guitar neck. 58 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,600 This is demeaning. 59 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:10,880 Ah ah ah ah ah! 60 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,680 I wouldn't do that. 61 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,000 Why? Did you poison it? 62 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,000 No. I mean, mixing red and white. 63 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:16,680 Oh. 64 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:22,040 Chop chop ladies! We have work to do. 65 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,200 Your fantasy is cooking him dinner? 66 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,280 What are you gonna do - kill him with cholesterol? 67 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,680 I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to serve him his favorite dinner 68 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,960 and show him what women's lib is really about. 69 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,600 Places! Everyone. 70 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 Roger will be home any minute. 71 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,440 [Door opens] 72 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,320 You're so late, you must be famished. 73 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,440 Not hungry. 74 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,360 Hey. Hey! Hey! 75 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,240 What is this? 76 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,280 What are you doing? 77 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,160 [screams] 78 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:29,240 I told you I was making dinner tonight. 79 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,800 I already ate. 80 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,160 Well...then you're gonna fucking eat again! 81 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:50,600 I have painstakingly prepared this amazing meal for you, Roger 82 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:57,840 so that you would see what an amazing girlfriend I am to you, Roger. 83 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:02,520 Why don't you appreciate me, ROGER? 84 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,880 See? Doesn't that feel better? 85 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,200 Yeah it's better. 86 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,960 My fantasy now! 87 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,320 Great. Now I'm a prostitute. 88 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,320 Shhhhh 89 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,280 Babe. 90 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:31,880 Are you alright? 91 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:37,040 Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin. Latin. 92 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,000 Wait. 93 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,160 I was just folding your laundry. 94 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,480 Why am I tied up? 95 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,960 Is that firewood? 96 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:48,640 Why are the girls here? Why is everyone in black? Why are you chanting? 97 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,040 Why is Cher dressed like a prostitute? 98 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:38,280 Oh oh no... I gotta get a new shirt, I was gonna take you to that nice little French place tonight. 99 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:52,400 Oh God, I'm so sorry, does anyone have any club soda? I can get that right out. 100 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,880 That right reminded me of you. 101 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,480 When did you even do that? 102 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,240 Oh God, why am I on fire? 103 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,840 Because you text me too much. 104 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,400 He texts you too much? 105 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,800 Oh my God, it's like non-stop. 106 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:26,040 'I'm thinking about you, I'm going to the store do you need any tampons? 107 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,440 I made a mash-up of what our children will look like, aren't they adorable?' 108 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,600 So he's sweet and attentive, huh? 109 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,920 Maybe revenge isn't a good idea. 110 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,520 Maybe we should focus on empowerment . 111 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,840 it's like I once said: I'm tough, I'm ambitious 112 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:50,360 and I know exactly what I want and if that makes me a bitch - okay. 113 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,160 Honey. That was Madonna. 114 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,080 Yeah I don't really need to kill Jimmy. 115 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,240 He'll just starve without me anyway. 116 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,000 To Empowerment! 117 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,040 To us! 118 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:02,960 To popcorn! 119 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,440 Let's make some. 120 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,720 So, what should we do with them? 121 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,600 [pop music] 8271

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