Original subtitles

- [ WHISTLING ]

- Edd: BRBRBRBRB, YEAH!

- Jimmy: GOOD DAY, WORLD.

♪ LA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA LA LA LA LA

[ LAUGHS ] WHO'S THERE?

- [ WOLF-WHISTLES ] - Jimmy: I'M SO AWESOME.

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ] [ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

- GOOD DAY, JIMMY.

- Jimmy: GOOD DAY, MR. SUN.

GOODY, GOODY, GOODY!

FELICITATIONS, FELLOW CHILDREN OF THE CUL-DE-SAC.

- Kevin: FELICITATIONS TO YOU, TOO, DEAR JIMMY.

- Nazz: YOUR COWLICK LOOKS SO DIVINE TODAY, JIMMY.

- Rolf: ROLF HAS MUCH ADMIRATION FOR HE WHO CAN LICK A

COW.

- Jimmy: A COMPLIMENT, I'M SURE.

SORRY TO SAY I'M ON MY WAY.

TOODLE-OO!

- Nazz: TA-TA!

- Kevin: CHEERIO!

- Rolf: LATER, ALLIGATOR!

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ] - Jimmy: NICE RIDING YOU,

MR. CATERPILLAR.

HIDY-HI, CUL-DE-SAC CASTAWAYS.

I SEE DOLLY NO-NO.

SHE'S KEEPING YOU FROM WREAKING HAVOC ON THIS FINE DAY.

- Eddy: HAVOC?

OH, LIKE THE FISH.

- Edd: THAT'S HADDOCK, EDDY.

- Ed: MY BOTTOM'S GOT A HADDOCK.

- Jimmy: YOU THREE ARE SO KOOKY.

- Eddy: DARN IT, I LOVE HIS COWLICK.

- Jimmy: THERE SHE IS -- MY UMBER-HAIRED ANGEL, MY

PUMMELING PROTECTOR.

[ LAUGHING ] - Sarah: HELP, JIMMY!

- Jimmy: WHAT'S HAPPENING?

AHHH!

- Sarah: JIMMY!

- Jimmy: SARAH, ROBOT WIGGLY!

ROBOT WIGGLY!

- Sarah: HELP ME, JIMMY!

- Jimmy: SARAH! SARAH!

AHHH!

OH, NO! OH, NO!

- Sarah: TAKE MY HAND, JIMMY!

- Jimmy: I'M TRYING, SARAH!

I CAN'T REACH YOU!

- Sarah: JIMM-Y-Y-Y-Y!

- Jimmy: SARA-A-A-A-H!

SARAH?

- Sarah: BOY, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER WAKE UP.

- Jimmy: OH, SARAH, WHAT A HORRIBLE DREAM!

THESE HERCULEAN MECHANICAL PINCERS DROPPED FROM THE SKY,

ALL WIGGLY-LIKE, AND SNATCHED YOU AWAY.

- Sarah: HOW MANY BELLY BOMB BONBONS DID YOU EAT BEFORE BED,

MISTER?

YOU KNOW THEY GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES.

- Jimmy: UM, MAYBE ONE OR TWO.

[ CLANGING ] OKAY, GUILTY AS CHARGED.

I'M A PIGGY.

[ LAUGHTER ] ♪ LA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA

♪ LA-LA-LA-LA LA LA LA LA [ HUMMING ]

OH, LOOK.

A POSTCARD.

I LOVE POST...

TAKE MY HAND.

JIMM-Y-Y-Y-Y!

JIMMY?

BOY, YOU SURE ARE ACTING WEIRD TODAY.

- Jimmy: OWIE! SARAH!

- Jonny: RIGHT ON!

WAIT TILL EVERYBODY SEES OUR HAPPENING HARVEST HATS AT THE

SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.

WHAT DO WE NEED NOW, BUDDY?

WHAT THE HECK'S A RUTABAGA?

I BET YOU ROLF'S GOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

HE'S KIND OF NUTTY THAT WAY.

[ GRUNTING ] [ WHIRRING ]

OW!

HEY, ROLF, WHAT YOU DOING?

- Sarah: COME ON, JIMMY.

SNOW ANGELS ARE FUN.

- Jimmy: ROBOT CLAWS FROM THE SKY.

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE US AWAY.

- Sarah: GET OVER IT, WILL YA?

IT WAS JUST A DREAM.

- Jimmy: I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF, SARAH.

IT SEEMED SO REAL, AS THOUGH IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

- Sarah: WELL, THAT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID, SILLY.

- Jimmy: I FEEL SO ICKY, SARAH.

- Edd: AND THEREFORE, AN INTEGER OF 4 ADDED INTO THE

EQUATION YIELDS A MUCH MORE READILY DECIPHERABLE HOT POTATO.

KNOWING "Q" IS A CONSTANT IN THE QUOTIENT, WE CAN DEDUCE THAT "P"

IS EQUAL TO 72.

ANY QUESTIONS, EDDY?

EDDY?

[ CHATTERING ] - Eddy: CHECK IT OUT, SOCKHEAD.

THE PLAY-DOH HEAD'S BUSTING AN ARTERY.

[ LAUGHS ] WHAT AN IDIOT!

- Jonny: YOU GOT TO BELIEVE US, GUYS.

WE'RE ALL DEAD DUCKS.

DEAD DUCKS, I TELL YOU!

- Nazz: DUDE, HARSH SUNBURN.

YOU NEED SOME ALOE VERA.

- Edd: PARDON ME.

IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK, COULD YOU KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN?

EDDY'S TUTORING REQUIRES -- - Jonny: YOU WILL BELIEVE ME!

THERE'S FLESH-EATING ALIENS INVADING ROLF'S HOUSE, DOUBLE D!

HE SAID SO! HE DID!

- Eddy: OH, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

- Kevin: FLESH-EATING ALIENS, HUH?

YEAH, RIGHT.

AND I GOT A RUSSIAN PLATE-TWIRLING TEAM CAMPING OUT

IN MY BACKYARD.

[ LAUGHTER ] - Jonny: THEY DON'T BELIEVE US,

BUDDY.

THEY DON'T BELIEVE US!

- Jimmy: I BELIEVE YOU, JONNY.

[ LAUGHTER ] - Sarah: HA HA HA!

OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER.

WHAT THE HECK'S WRONG WITH YOU?

GET REAL, JIMMY.

- Jimmy: I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE REAL IN ALL MY LIFE, SARAH.

MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE.

GIANT BLADES WILL FALL, SLICING THROUGH THE EARTH LIKE A

DEEP-DISH FLAN.

IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!

OHHH.

- Eddy: SWEET.

- Nazz: INTENSE.

- Kevin: GIVE ME A BREAK.

- Eddy: OH, COME ON.

YOU CAN'T GO GET ME SOME MARSHMALLOWS?

- Sarah: WHERE'S MY STUPID BROTHER?!

- Edd: HE DID LEAVE THIS NOTE ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR THIS

MORNING.

- Sarah: LET ME SEE.

"AT ROLF'S.

NEEDS HELP."

- Nazz: DUDE, ALIENS OR NOT, SOMETHING'S SERIOUSLY UP.

- Edd: DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTION

JUST A LITTLE?

ED'S NO DOUBT ASSISTING ROLF WITH SOME FARMYARD DUTIES.

IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME.

- Jonny: OR MAYBE ED'S HELPING ROLF FIGHT OFF THOSE ALIENS AS

WE SPEAK!

- Kevin: YO, PUT AN END TO IT AND JUST GO CHECK HIS HOUSE OUT

ALREADY.

- Edd: WELL, IT HARDLY APPEARS TO BE THE STRONGHOLD OF SOME

ALIEN ENCROACHMENT, NOW, DOES IT?

GOODNESS. IS IT ME, OR IS IT SUDDENLY BECOMING UNBEARABLY

WARM?

- Eddy: MAN, I'M FRYING LIKE AN EGG OVER HERE.

- Edd: STRANGE.

HOW COULD THE LAND TEMPERATURE CHANGE SO DRASTICALLY FROM ONE

AREA TO THE NEXT?

- Jonny: SEE? I TOLD YOU!

- Sarah: HOLY MAN!

- Edd: THE PLAYGROUND.

- Kevin: FOLLOW ME.

- All: UGH!

- Edd: WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS THAT?

- Kevin: WHATEVER IT IS, IT REEKS.

- Nazz: AHH! AHHH!

[ ALL SCREAMING ] - Kevin: IT HATCHED, MAN!

[ SQUEAKING ] [ SQUEAKING STOPS ]

- Eddy: LET'S MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.

- Both: AHHH!

- Eddy: ED?

- Ed: [ BABBLING ] SQUEEZED.

CHEEKS PINCHED.

RIBS PRODDED.

GRIZZLY BEAST BEINGS THAT SMELL LIKE MOTHBALLS!

I AM SO POOPED.

- Jonny: THE ALIENS EXPERIMENTED ON ED.

- Ed: PROTECT YOURSELF, LARGE-NOGGINED ONE, AS THEY

WILL USE YOU AS AN OTTOMAN FOR THEIR SCALY FEET!

- Jonny: NO, NOT THE OTTOMAN!

- Kevin: THAT'S IT.

WE'RE STORMING THAT HOUSE.

- Eddy: HOLD THE PHONE.

WHO MADE YOU COMMANDER IN CHUMP, BOXHEAD?

WANT TO GO IN THE HOUSE FIRST, HUH,

DORKY?

- Eddy: KEV, THE LEADER -- GREAT IDEA.

- Edd: I'LL RESEARCH ED'S TAWDRY EXTRATERRESTRIAL

MATERIAL.

THERE MAY BE VITAL CLUES ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE ALIEN

INSURGENCY.

[ BLEATING ]

- Edd: HMM.

"SQUARE DANCERS FROM THE OUTER REACHES"?

COLORFUL.

"ATTACK OF THE SPACE NOSE MINERS"?

DEVIATING.

"INAPPROPRIATE PINCHERS FROM BEYOND"?

HMM.

HEAT VISION?

"EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEINGS ARE KNOWN TO PRODUCE ELEVATED

TEMPERATURES OF HEAT."

COINCIDENCE?

[ CREAKING ] HELLO?

[ CLANK ] HUH?

[ CREAKING ] AHH!

OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

[ CRASHING ] - Ed: PASSWORD?

- Edd: PASSWORD?

I WASN'T INFORMED OF ANY PASSWORD.

HELLO?

AHH!

- Ed: I SEE THROUGH YOUR DISGUISE, CREATURE FROM BEYOND

OUR STARS!

- Edd: ED, IT'S ME -- DOUBLE...D!

- Ed: DOUBLE D, YOU'RE ALIVE!

- Kevin: WHILE THE ALPHA TEAM CIRCLES THE PERIMETER HERE AND

HOOKS UP WITH THE OMEGA TEAM HERE, THAT'S WHEN WE TAKE THEM.

ANY QUESTIONS?

- Eddy: YAWN!

JIMMY?

- Jimmy: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[ SMOOCHING ] - Kevin: RIGHT.

START BUILDING YOUR WEAPONS.

DOUBLE D, WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT, MAN?

- Edd: MY INFORMATION GATHERING POINTS TO ALIEN BEINGS

DISPERSING HEAT THROUGH THEIR VISION.

- Kevin: HEAT VISION, HUH?

- Edd: WITH THAT, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF DEVELOPING A SUB-ZERO

BATTLE SUIT WHICH SHOULD EFFECTIVELY PROTECT US FROM

THEIR DETONATION OF HEAT.

[ WOLF WHISTLE ] - Kevin: NICE.

JIMMY, CURLERS DON'T COUNT AS WEAPONS.

- Eddy: HOLD THIS.

- Ed: DO IT AGAIN!

[ LAUGHS ] - Eddy: [ LAUGHS ]

- Edd: EDDY, I'M A TAD SUSPECT THAT THIS WILL PROVIDE YOU

ADEQUATE DEFENSE.

- Eddy: DEFENSE, SCHMEFENSE.

I'M GONNA BE SWIMMING IN MOOLA.

ONCE I BAG ONE OF THOSE ALIENS, I'LL BE FAMOUS.

- Edd: WELL, JUST LET ED OUT WHEN YOU'RE DONE, THEN.

- Ed: PULL MY FINGER, EDDY.

[ FARTING ] - Kevin: READY?

- Jonny: READY, RIGHT, BUDDY?

- Nazz: READY, ALMOST.

- Ed: DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA.

DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA.

- Jimmy: READY.

- Sarah: THIS STINK JUICE WILL BURN THEIR NOSTRILS OFF.

- Jimmy: BUT, SARAH, YOU SAID YOU LOVED MY HOMEMADE DANDELION

PERFUME.

- Edd: IT IS HERE, DEAR FRIENDS, ON THE THRESHOLD OF

FATE, WHERE WE STARE INTO THE GAPING MOUTH OF UNCERTAINTY.

IN THIS, OUR DARKEST HOUR, I WISH TO EXPRESS MY --

- Kevin: ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.

THESE SPACE DWEEBS MADE A BIG MISTAKE INVADING OUR

NEIGHBORHOOD AND TAKING OUR PAL.

WHAT SAY WE GIVE THEM A GOOD OLD PEACH CREEK WELCOME?

- All: YEAH!

[ CHEERING ] - Kevin: LET'S DO THIS.

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, ROLFIE BOY!

- Jimmy: [ PANTING ] WHOA!

- Kevin: [ WHISTLES ]

- Sarah: TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS,

YOU BAD ALIENS!

I DID IT, JIMMY!

WHOA! THEY GOT ME.

- Ed: ED IS COMING, BABY SISTER.

- Eddy: ED, WAIT!

ARE YOU NUTS?

THOSE ALIENS WILL SUCK YOUR BRAIN OUT.

- Jimmy: OUCH.

[ MOANING ] - Kevin: [ WHISTLES ]

- Jonny: WATCH MY BACK, PLANK.

YEAH, BABY!

- Eddy: [ LAUGHING ] - Edd: THAT ISN'T FUNNY, EDDY.

- Kevin: LOOK ALIVE.

HERE, COVER ME.

YOU, COME WITH ME.

EAT THIS, YOU OUTER-SPACE FREAKS.

FEED ME SOME AMMO, DORKO.

MOVE IT!

- Ed: GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, ALIENS FROM THE UNKNOWN.

GUTTER BALL!

- Edd: I HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO PICK THOSE UP.

- Kevin: YOU GUYS ARE USELESS.

EVERYBODY'S ON THEIR OWN.

I'VE HAD IT.

- Jimmy: MY DREAM!

WE'LL BE SENT UP INTO THE SKY.

- Nazz: CHILL OUT, KEVIN.

- Sarah: YEAH.

WE GOT TO GET ROLF OUT OF THAT HOUSE.

- Ed: ISSUE 14, "ZOMBIE ALIENS FROM PLANET RHUBARB," STATES

MORE THAN OFTEN IT IS REQUIRED TO BAIT SAID ALIENS WITH A HUMAN

FEMALE TO LURE POTENTIAL FLESH-CONSUMING

EXTRATERRESTRIALS FROM THEIR LAIR.

- Nazz: THAT'S SO DUMB.

- Edd: DEAREST NAZZ, FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME.

PERHAPS IT'S BEST TO THINK OF IT AS A SELFLESS ACT TO SAVE --

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] [ WHIRRING ]

[ WHIRRING STOPS ] - [ SQUEALING ]

- Kevin: WHOA.

- Sarah: [ GASPING ] - Eddy: THERE'S SO MANY OF

THEM.

I'M GONNA BE SUPER RICH!

- Nazz: PLEASE, DON'T EAT ME!

- All: [ SCREAMING ] - Eddy: 7-FIGURE BRACKET, HERE

I COME!

- Rolf: HELLO, FELLOW NEIGHBORHOOD NOTHINGS.

- Nazz: ROLF?

- Eddy: GERONIMO!

- Rolf: OH HO HO!

YOU HAVE COME TO JOIN THE CELEBRATION.

- Both: CELEBRATION?

- Eddy: YOU AIN'T AN ALIEN FROM OUTER SPACE.

- Rolf: ROLF'S SKIN WEEPS WITH TEARS OF IMPURITY AS HIS

RELATIVES TURN THE FURNACE UP TO HIGH.

- Jonny: THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, BUDDY -- RELATIVES.

- Rolf: RELATIVES, YES.

ROLF'S BROOD FROM THE OLD COUNTRY.

- Edd: OF COURSE.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

ROLF ISN'T LITERALLY BEING INVADED BY ALIENS.

IT'S JUST HIS FAMILY VISITING FROM HIS NATIVE LAND.

- Ed: THEY ARE SO OTHERWORLDLY.

- Rolf: FARGA AND UNCLE YORNIK THANK YOU FOR LETTING THEM USE

YOUR CLOTHES AS EMERGENCY BIBS, LONE TOTEM-POLED BOY.

COME, FICKLE FRIENDS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC, JOIN ROLF'S FAMILY

IN THE FESTIVITIES.

WHOA.

- Rolf: HA HA!

ROLF SUSPECTS LITTLE COUSIN BASTIAN WANTS A KISS UNDER THE

MEMBRANE OF A YAK, SHE WHO GIVES MIGRAINES.

- Sarah: AHHH!

- Jonny: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] - Rolf: YOU MUST STAY.

NANA SEES THE FOOTREST POTENTIAL IN YOUR "FLAT AS A PANCAKE"

HEAD.

- Eddy: AHH!

NO, LET ME GO.

I DON'T WANT TO BE AN OTTOMAN!

HELP, ED, DOUBLE D!

ISN'T IT EXCITING, ED?

WE FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO MEET ROLF'S ENIGMATIC FAMILY.

OH, THE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE CULTURE AND STRANGE AFFINITY TO

ANIMAL BY-PRODUCTS ARE ENDLESS.

SHALL WE?

- Ed: NO MORE CHEEK PINCHING FOR ED, DOUBLE D.

- Nazz: HELLO!

A LITTLE HELP HERE?

GUYS!

[ BEEPING ]