Original subtitles

[WHISTLING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

I FOUND SOME GRASS, EDDY!

WHOOP-DE-DO, ED!

CHEESE, GRATED AND WAITING!

READY TO ROLL, DOUBLE D?

DON'T RUSH ME, EDDY. THERE'S AN ART TO FOLDING TACOS

FROM PAPER PLATES.

HOOWEE!

EVERYONE'S A CRITIC.

ART, SCHMART. EVERYONE WILL BUY OUR TACOS.

IT'S A CINCH.

GRASS, PAPER PLATES, AND CRAYON FOR CHEESE

A TACO DOES NOT MAKE, EDDY.

CHEDDAR!

GOODNESS SAKE, ED!

DOES THAT REALLY TASTE LIKE CHEESE?

IT'S ORANGE LIKE CHEESE.

REALLY?

SO, IF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TRUE,

THIS BLUE CRAYON MUST BE A BLUEBERRY PIE.

[GULP]

TART YET CRUSTY.

Eddy: YOU GUYS, QUIT FOOLING AROUND!

I STILL HAVE TO ADD MY BROTHER'S SECRET--

BANANA. YELLOW IS FOR BANANA.

YOU ARE A BANANA!

BLAAK!

WATER! WATER!

DON'T JUST STAND THERE!

BUT...

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN SOMEONE

GUZZLE MY BROTHER'S ARMENIAN SECRET HOT SAUCE.

IT CERTAINLY RID ME OF THAT HORRIBLE,

NON-TOXIC, WAXY AFTERTASTE.

MY MOM SAYS NOT TO PICK MY BELLYBUTTON.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

IT'S NOT WORKING!

THIS SAUCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A REAL GUT BURNER.

[BELL RINGING]

[STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS]

HI, EDDY!

HUH, DUH...

[FEEBLE YELL]

OH, DEAR, A SHRIEK OF TERROR.

DAD'S HOME!

WHAT'S UP WITH FLUFFY?

THERE! IN THE WINDOW!

A DARK FIGURE CAST A SHADOW,

ITS BODY CONTORTED WITH A HIDEOUS HAIRDO!

HOLD ME!

ARE YOU SURE, JIMMY?

STAND BACK!

PROTECT YOURSELVES.

WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS BEHIND

THE HALLOWED WALLS IN THE HOUSE OF THE HAUNTED?

HEEEY!

IT'S THE HOUSE OF THE MAD LOGGER

WHO CHOPS DOWN TREES AND HACKS THEM INTO COFFEE TABLES!

HEY!

WAIT! THIS HOUSE IS OWNED BY

THE PROVOKED OPERA SINGER,

WHO LURES LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS WITH ENCHANTED ARIAS!

GROW UP!

IT'S JUST AN EMPTY HOUSE, GEEZ!

GO CHECK IT OUT, THEN!

I DARE YA.

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.

ED NEEDS ME TO CHANGE THE NEWSPAPER UNDER HIS BED.

CHANGED IT THIS MORNING, EDDY!

HMM?

I'LL GIVE YOU A JAWBREAKER

IF YOU GO INSIDE THE HOUSE.

WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

EDDY, DON'T YOU SEE THROUGH KEVIN'S CHEAP ATTEMPT

TO GET US TO GO IN THAT FILTHY HOUSE?

Eddy: ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS STICK OUR FOOT IN THE DOOR AND BINGO!

JAWBREAKER FOR EDDY.

Ed: AHCHOO!

GET ANY ON YOU, ED?

DO YOU SEE ANYTHING, EDDY?

YEAH, DARK. LOTS AND LOTS OF DARK.

AH..AHCHOO!

DANDELIONS, EDDY.

Edd: ED, COULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF MY FACE?

Eddy: THIS HOUSE ISN'T HAUNTED!

IT'S A DUMP.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THE HOUSE FROM

"I WAS A COTTON SWAB IN MADAME TONGUE ITCHES EARWAX MUSEUM"--

THE MINISERIES.

[DEEP VOICE]: DOUBLE D!!

LET ME POKE YOUR BRAIN.

HA HA HA!

YOU SCARED DOUBLE D, EDDY.

I DID, DIDN'T I?

COME ON, I GOT AN IDEA.

[LAUGHS]

DO YOU THINK THEY'RE OK?

Eddy: NO, DON'T!

HELP!

HE'S GOT ME! AH! NO!

WHOA!

KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!

OH, NO!

AAHH!!

OH, THE INHUMANITY!

OH...

HEY, THE ED BOYS ARE GONNERS!

SOMEONE HELP HIM!

AH! OH!

OH, GET AWAY!

HELLO!

SOMEONE HELP MY IDIOT BROTHER!

AAHHH...

I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I'VE SAID ABOUT THE TWERPS.

AAAH...

HUH?

OF ALL THE LOUSY TRICKS!

ENOUGH TORTURE.

LET'S LET THEM OFF EASY AND COLLECT OUR JAWBRE--

WHAT THE?

HIT THE ROAD!

[THUNDERING]

[CLUNK]

TELL ME THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

NOTHING THAT A LITTLE EDDY MAGIC WOULDN'T FIX.

MY FINGER'S STUCK, GUYS.

HA! GOOD TRICK, EDDY. MY TURN!

[GASPS]

I AM THE COTTON SWAB. RELEASE THE WAX, EARPERSON!

YOU'RE SCARING ME MORE THAN USUAL, ED.

PLEASE PULL EDDY LOOSE, SO WE CAN LEAVE!

CAREFUL, ED,

I BRUISE LIKE A BANANA.

TALLYHO!

HA HA HA!

HARDER, ED.

[GRUNTING]

UH--

LA CUCARACHA]

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE EARWAX.

PHANTOM?

THAT'S IT. LET ME OUT, LET ME--!

OUT?

HEEEYY!

AAAHHH!

OHHH!

QUIT MILKING IT, POLTERDORKS!

YOUR BAMBOOZLE HAS SOURED

LIKE NANA'S DENTURE WATER.

BAMBOOZLE! HA HA!

HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE. HA!

AAHH!

WHOA!

OH, MY ACHING HEAD!

THAT WAS QUITE AN EXPERIENCE.

IS IT ME,

OR DO OUR HEADS LOOK LIKE YAMS?

HA HA! BIG BUTT, SO WHAT?

IT'S A MIRROR.

A ROOM FULL OF MIRRORS.

SWEET!

YAMS, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

LOOK AT THAT.

A POOR, DEFENSELESS BOOK

ABANDONED AND TOSSED ASIDE

LIKE SOME CHEAP COMIC.

WHO WOULD DO-- INTERESTING.

THERE SEEMS TO BE-- OH, LOOK, ANOTHER ONE.

CHECK THIS OUT, GUYS. TAKE A LOAD OFF YOUR EYES.

HA HA HA!

CUCKOO!

[GASPS]

CHUNKY PUFFS! YUM YUM YUM!

ED? DOUBLE D?

WHERE THE HECK ARE THEY?

OH, I HATE YOU...

KNOBHOLDER THING!

Edd: CAN SOMEONE SO WELL READ BE SO ILLITERATE?

I ASK YOU.

OH, ANOTHER ONE.

RAPTURE.

WHERE'S THE ROOM GOING? WHERE AM I GOING?

HELP! THE STAIRCASE IS EATING ME!

BOOKS UPON SHELVES UPON WALLS OF LITERATURE!

BOHEMIAN!

SOMEONE'S REALLY TRYING MY PATIENCE.

PERFECTLY SHELVED.

NOW, WHERE WAS I?

HELLO.

PIGGY BANK! MONEY! COME TO PAPA!

PROFESSOR DOUBLE D, BOOK ARCHIVIST.

I LIKE THE TIMBER OF THAT.

EDDY, FILTHY RICH JAWBREAKER TYCOON, OH YEAH!

BINGO!

OK, COUGH UP THE DOUGH, YOU LITTLE PORKER.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

AH, OH, EH...

NOBEL PRIZE WINNER, DOUBLE D...

NICE. YAAH!

AAAHH! WHAT?

TISK, TISK.

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING?

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

Eddy: NOW WHAT?

I'M NOT SURE I'M THE RIGHT HEIGHT FOR THIS RIDE.

Ed: CHOO! CHOO!

HA! CREEPY.

Edd: ENTERPRISING.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

WHOA!

WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

MY CLOTHES! THEY'RE GONE. I'M NAKED!

BARNACLE.

Edd: IT'S A NIGHTMARE, I TELL YOU.

IS IT VALENTINE'S DAY?

GROSS!

AAH!

IS THAT ME IRONING CLOTHES?

UH!

OH, MY!

LOOK AT THE SOAP FILM ON THOSE DISHES.

WHO'S THAT GOOD-LOOKING GUY?

GET SOME GLASSES, ED. WHOA!

Ed: GROOVY!

AAHH!

IS THE RIDE OVER?

Edd: OH, DEAR, I FEAR IT'S JUST BEGUN.

♪ HERE--HERE COME THE BRIDES! ♪

[WOLF WHISTLE]

KANKERS? BRIDES?

THE KANKERS TRICKED US.

IT'S A WEDDING, EDDY!

BUT I CAN'T DANCE, EDDY!

FLOWERS FOR YOUR BRIDE?

HOW SWEET.

PICK UP YOUR GROOMS

AND SPIT OUT YOUR GUM.

HA HA!

AHEM, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO JOIN IN MARRIAGE THE KANKERS AND THE EDS.

THEY PROMISE TO LOVE, HONOR, AND OBEY--OR WE POUND THEM.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! QUIT SHOWING OFF, LEE!

MAY, GET THE RINGS.

RINGS?

WHAT YOU GOT, A PIANO TIED TO YOUR LEG?

SODA!

HOLD STILL, MR. MATE.

WITH THIS RING, I DO-DEE WED.

DOO-DEE?

Nazz: WHERE'D MY PUMPKIN GO?

THERE YOU ARE!

WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I COOKED YOU FOR SUPPER.

BREATHTAKING.

HA! NO RING FOR ME.

DON'T PLAY DUMB,

YOU HAD YOUR RING ALL ALONG.

MAN, THEY'RE GOOD.

I NOW PRONOUNCE US HUSBAND AND WIVES!

DO YOU THINK THERE WILL BE A RECEPTION?

[HORSE WHINNYING]

SLOW DOWN, ED!

GECK, GECK...

WAHOO! WE TRAPPED--

I HEAR WEDDING BELLS. COME ON, EVERYBODY.

HEY, PLANK, LOOK!

COOL, WHERE?

CHECK IT OUT.

IT'S THE DORKBUSTERS.

I'D HATE TO SEE THEIR KIDS.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

Jimmy: HOW ROMANTIC.

SAVE ME SOME CAKE, ED BOYS.

GOOD LUCK RICE FOR THE NEWLYWEDS.

WEE!

THAT KID'S THROWING STUFF AT US.

HIT HIM WITH THESE.

THE BOUQUET.

IT'S ALL MINE.

JIMMY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

ISN'T LOVE A MANY SPLENDORED THING, SARAH?

[WHIP CRACKS]

Eds: OW!

AHH... COMPLETE.

IN ONLY 14 HOURS AND 7 MINUTES.

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

[THUD]

Eddy: THERE'S A KNOB, ED.

DOUBLE D, ARE YOU SITTING FOR THIS ONE?

WHEW!

[SNORING]

GOOD!

THE BIGGEST CASH COW EVER TO BE MILKED

IS ON OUR DOORSTEP.

I'M NOT ONE TO GLOAT, BUT, MAN, AM I GOOD.

I SEE A BIG SIGN OVER AN OCEAN WORLD:

ED'S SEA RANCH!

IS HE SLEEPING?

THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS HUMOR ME, DOUBLE D.

OH, THIS MAY NOT BE DOUBLE D AT ALL, EDDY,

BUT A CLONE PUT ON THIS PLANET TO-- OUCH!

[GASPING]

AAH!

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

COME ON, SOCKHEAD, I NEED YOU, PAL,

AT SEA WORLD, I TELL YOU.

WHAT A LUMP!

WHY, THANK YOU, EDDY.

HELLO, DOUBLE D.

NOW THAT I GOT YOUR ATTENTION,

I NEED YOU TO FIGURE OUT THE PLANS FOR...

ED'S SEA RANCH!

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

[YAWNING]

[YAWNS]

HEY, GRAB DOUBLE D. WE GOT WORK TO DO.

RIGHT BEHIND YOU, EDDY.

WHOA!

NO KID CAN RESIST OTTERS AND DOLPHINS

AND MAYBE A GIANT SHARK EXHIBIT?

HE LIKES THE SHARK EXHIBIT.

WHAT THE...

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

AAH!

WAKEY, WAKEY, SLEEPY HEAD.

OK, WE GOT A SPOT.

SO, WHAT'S NEXT, DOUBLE D?

[SIGHS] BUILD A PEN TO HOUSE THE AQUATIC CREATURES.

OH, I GOT ONE!

ALLEY-OOP!

HERE'S YOUR MUSTARD, DOUBLE D.

I DIDN'T ASK...

HE ASKED FOR A PEN.

HE ASKED FOR MUSTARD, EDDY.

DO YOU HAVE CORN IN YOUR EARS, MISTER?

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

OH, LOOK!

DOUBLE D IS PLANNING.

SEA RANCH WATER, POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH.

CONTAINMENT.

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!

YOU CAN BUY A CHIN, ED, THINK OF IT.

ELEMENTARY.

WOOHOO!

SUPPLIES AND MATERIALS.

WOOHOO HOOHOO!

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU, DOUBLE D?

LIVE THE LIFE OF RILEY?

SHUT UP, ED.

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

AHH...

[SNORING]

Ed: SUPPLIES!

WE GOT EVERYTHING ON THE LIST, DOUBLE D, NOW WHAT?

WHERE'S DOUBLE D?

LET ME GUESS.

HE'S UNDER THE SUPPLIES, RIGHT, ED?

YEP.

DID YOU GET IT, EDDY?

WE NEED DOUBLE D, ED.

TO REALIZE MY DREAM OF ED'S SEA RANCH!

FOUND HIM!

I'M OK.

'CAUSE I'M GOING TO BE RICH.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

WHERE DOES THIS DOOHICKEY GO?

I'LL GET THE OTHER STUFF. HA!

I CAN'T READ YOUR PLANS.

WHERE DOES THIS THING GO?

ATTACH IT SPEFICALLY TO THE COMBARISCHMIGGAM...

[MUMBLES]

PARALLEL TO THE CARSEAT.

THANK YOU.

OH!

WOOHOO! THAR SHE BLOWS!

ALL WE NEED NOW ARE SOME EXHIBITS.

[LAUGHS]

OH, DOUBLE D,

WHERE DO I FIND SOME SEA CREATURES?

STINKY SEA FISH, DOUBLE D!

TIRED. BED.

SPONGY. SEA.

OF COURSE, THE GREATEST OF ALL CREATURES!

SEABED SPONGES!

WHERE DO YOU GET SPONGES?

OH! OH! OH! ME! ME! ME!

ED...

AT MY HOUSE.

NO WAY.

NO LIE.

SWEET.

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

PHOTOS WITH THE SEA SPONGE--

25 CENTS, DOUBLE D!

YOU GOT A CAMERA, GO GET--

WHERE'S DOUBLE D?

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.

HURRY, ED, WE NEED DOUBLE--

HE IS SAWING LOGS, THE LITTLE DICKENS.

WHAT TOOK YOU?

I READ BOOKS, EDDY.

BACK TO BUSINESS, ED!

WHERE'S THOSE SPONGES?

SHH! THE WALLS HAVE EARS, EDDY.

FOLLOW ME.

OH...SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

BED.

NOT IF IT WAS THE LAST BED ON EARTH.

HUH?

IT'S THE MOTHERLOAD!

I COLLECT SPONGES, EDDY.

DOUBLE D, CHECK THIS OUT!

AAH!

AFTER YOU, DOCTOR.

THANK YOU, NURSE.

AAH!

DOUBLE D, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

I'M SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

HMM, A SEVERE CASE OF EXHAUSTION, DON'T YOU THINK?

I'M THE DOCTOR, AND I SAY HE'S DEAD.

AHH...

EEH!

HE'S WORSER THAN I THOUGHT.

LET'S OPERATE.

[IMITATING AMBULANCE SIREN]

DOUBLE D?

DOUBLE D!

Sarah: DOUBLE D?

YE GADS, SHOULDN'T YOU BE WEARING GLOVES?

NO TIME. HIS BRAIN'S BROKEN.

HOLY SMOKE! BRAIN SURGERY!

COME ON, NURSE, MOVE IT!

EEE...

GLUE!

MALLET!

FASTER!

NOW, LET'S FIX THAT BRAIN.

HUH? AAH!

WE FOUND HIM FIRST!

TAKE A HIKE!

HIS BRAIN BELONGS TO US.

I'LL KNOCK TWO POINTS OFF YOUR DORK RATING

IF YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MY BIKE CHAIN.

[SNORING]

LIBERALLY APPLY TOOTHPASTE FOR CLEANER, BRIGHTER TEETH.

TOOTHPASTE! RADICAL.

HMM...

HEEY! AAH!

LOOK, ED BOY! LOBSTERS, LOOK!

AM I CRAZY? ROLF'S GARDEN HAS BEEN CURSED!

DO YOU SEE IT?

A FOUNTAIN, LOOK!

A CURE FOR ROLF'S CURSE, ED BOY?

HOT WAX FOR MORE MANAGEABLE FOLLICLES.

AH, YES!

THE WAX.

SIMPLE, YES? THANK YOU!

AYE!

SCOURGE OF THE SEA, RELEASE ROLF!

NANA, FIND THE PLIERS!

SLEEPY, SLEEPY, SLEEPY.

BE BRAVE, PLANK.

DOUBLE D WILL HELP.

DOUBLE D, CAN YOU HELP US?

IT'S A LITTLE EMBARRASSING.

UM, PLANK'S GOT THIS GROWTH.

IS IT SERIOUS?

HA! HA! HA!

[LAUGHING]

HA!

DOUBLE D WAS LAUGHING WITH YOU, NOT AT YOU, PLANK.

ONE DOUBLE D, HOLD THE ONIONS.

GIVE ME HIM!

WE GOT TO FINISH OUR SEA RA--WHOA!

THIS DORK OWES ME A BIKE CHAIN.

HE'S MY DORK! LET GO!

[GRUNTING]

LOOK, JIMMY, OUR PATIENT.

I WANT TO TAKE HIS TEMPERATURE.

LEAVE DOUBLE D ALONE!

HE'S OURS!

Sarah: HE'S SICK! GIVE ME HIM!

ED BOY, A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.

OW! EEH!

NEVER USE HOT WAX TO SOOTHE ENRAGED LOBSTERS.

THANK YOU.

NANA! HOT WATER, BOILING...

ROLF'S WEIRD, HUH, PLANK?

UH-OH, TROUBLE!

SOMETHING'S DOWN THE CREAK, CAUSING IT TO FLOOD THE CUL-DE-SAC?

DO YOU THINK SO?

A LITTLE WET, BUT I'M OK,

THANKS TO YOU.

HOLY COW!

AH! AH!

SEA RANCH! I AM NEPTUNE--

[SONAR PINGING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

HEH, HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN ADRIFT, JONNY?

PLANK SAYS, "BEATS ME!"

ROLF'S PREMATURE FACIAL HAIR BURDENS HIM.

MY TUMMY'S CRAMPING. I'M SO HUNGRY, I'D EVEN EAT PROCESSED CHEESE.

ROLF'S BELLY WOULD LIKE FOOD, TOO.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

HOW YOU HOLDING UP, ROLF?

IF WE DO NOT FIND DRY LAND SOON,

I WILL HAVE TO FEAST UPON YOUR SUCCULENT NOGGIN.

OK...

LET'S GO CHECK THE FISHING NET, PLANK.

YEAH! OH!

QUICK, JONNY, GET THE STAKE!

Ed: AHOY!

IT IS I, NEPTUNE.

HE'S A NATURAL.

ED COULD BE THE STAR ATTRACTION FOR ED'S SEA RANCH.

PERSISTENT, AREN'T WE?

KING OF THE SEA!

HA! HA! HA!

Rolf: DID YOU FIND THE STAKE, JONNY?

ED, EDD N' EDDY!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--