Original subtitles

[WHISTLING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

BRRRRR!

[PANTING]

ED!

HI, EDDY. WHAT A SURPRISE.

COULD YOU PASS ME THE GLUE?

SURE, ED.

HERE'S YOUR GLUE, ED.

NICE TRY, ED.

LET'S GET DOUBLE-D.

OK, EDDY.

HA! HA! HA!

COME ON, ED. QUIT FOOLING AROUND.

[GROANING]

ALLEY OOP!

THE WINDOW IS...

TOO SMALL, EDDY.

UNH!

[GRUNTING]

GEE, ED,

YOU NEED TO WORK OUT.

[GRUNTING]

[ED SCREAMS]

I'M READY. CAN WE GO NOW?

[EDDY PANTING]

WHOO!

WHOA!

WHOO!

AAAH! OOOH!

WHAT YOU DOING, DOUBLE-D?

DID YOU WIPE YOUR FEET?

HMM...PHONE.

UH, COULD YOU PLEASE ANSWER THAT?

YEAH, YEAH, SURE.

WHAT AM I?

EVERYBODY'S ERRAND BOY?

[SNICKERS]

[TELEPHONE RINGS] HUH?

"PICK ME UP" HUH?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Eddy: HELLO?

YEAH. OH, REALLY? DOUBLE-D?

SURE, HANG ON.

Eddy: OH, DOUBLE-D...

SOME GIRL ON THE PHONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

M-M-ME?

UH, HOW DO I LOOK, EDDY?

IT'S A PHONE CALL, ROMEO.

THANK YOU, EEEEEDDDDDDY!

WHOA!

AAAAAH!

[WHIMPERS]

WHOAAAAA!

YAAAAAA!

[CHEWING GUM LOUDLY]

AAAAAH!

WHOAAA!

[GRUNTING]

HA! HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA!

YOU GUYS ARE SO EASY.

[PPPLLLTTT!]

EXCUSE ME.

HA! HA! HA!

[PPPLLLTTT!]

HA! KEEP TRYING, GUYS.

MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL GET LUCKY.

HA! HA! HA!

[BUZZES]

I AM TRULY THE KING OF ALL THE PRANKSTERS.

I'LL BET THAT BEFORE SUNDOWN I CAN PRANK THIS ENTIRE CUL-DE-SAC.

ARE YOU WITH ME?

LIKE WE HAVE A CHOICE.

Rolf: HA! HA! HELLO.

HERE'S SOME GOOD EATS FOR YOU.

OUR FIRST PIGEON.

A PIGEON? NO, THAT IS ROLF.

Eddy: SHUT UP, ED!

Rolf: YIKES! HUH?

[FIGHTING AND SQUEALING]

AAAAH!

HEY, ROLF, WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU OK, ROLF?

GUSS AUTEN BRAUSS POLYESTER PERMAPRESS AUS FILTHY.

HUH?

ROLF'S GOT A CARD ON HIS HEAD.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

Eddy: CHECK IT OUT.

Edd: PRANK MASTER?

YES, I THINK SO.

A MYSTERIOUS JOKESTER WHO'S BEEN PLAGUING OUR CUL-DE-SAC.

SOMEONE'S CROWDING ME.

HMM...HRMPH!

THIS STINKS.

THIS PRANK MASTER IS AN AMATEUR.

I AM THE KING OF PRANKS.

[MACHINE RUNNING]

Ed: HA! HA!

OUCH! EECH! OOCH! OOH! AHH! OOH!

JOHNNY!

YOU'LL GET A RASH IN THAT.

HUH?

Eddy: PLANK? STAND BACK, BOYS.

[GASP] WHOA!

THE PRANK MASTER!

HE'S SUCH A HORRIBLE PRINTER.

HERE, YOU HOLD IT, DOUBLE-D.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT'S BEEN!

RELAX, GUYS, ANYBODY CAN FOOL JOHNNY TWO-BY-FOUR.

AAAA!

JOHNNY!

IT SEEMS THE PRANK MASTER HAS THE UPPER HAND, EDDY.

Eddy: LOOK, NO PRANK MASTER'S GOING TO PRANK US, OK?

OH, IS THAT THE TEA KETTLE BOILING?

[EDDY PANTING]

MOMMY!

AAAAH!

NOT COOL! NOT COOL!

AAAAH!

AAAAH!

[WHIMPERING]

AAAAH!

WHOOA!

YOUCH!

AAAH!

[MACHINE GUN]

THE PRANK MASTER HAS GOTTEN EVERYONE.

WE'RE NEXT!

[WHISPERS] Come on.

UH, WE DON'T...

WANT TO.

SHHH.

WHOA...

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

I AM DIZZY.

LOOK!

WH-WH-WHAT?

Ed: JAWBREAKER.

FINDERS KEEPERS!

Edd and Eddy: ED, NO!

IT'S A TRAP.

I AGREE, IT COULD BE BAIT FOR AN INSIDIOUS PRANK.

OOOOH!

AAH! OH...

Eddy: SEE ANYTHING?

POKE IT AGAIN.

WHOA! UH...

I SAY EAT IT!

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO.

PERHAPS NOT.

SHH...LOOK!

LOOK, JIMMY, A JAWBREAKER!

LOOKS YUMMY.

MMM...MMM.

LET'S SEE IF THERE'S MORE.

MMM....MMM.

YOU SEE? IT WAS JUST A JAWBREAKER.

YOU SAID IT WAS A TRAP.

THAT'S CORRECT, EDDY.

UH, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.

WHAT IS IT--?

HELLO!

HA! HA! HA!

RIDE 'EM, COWBOY!

HA! HA! HA!

LIFT OFF! LIFT OFF!

WHOA!

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

YOU TWERPS FELL FOR IT.

FELL FOR WHAT?

THE PRANK MASTER NEVER PRANKED US.

WE PRANKED YOU, ED-BOYS.

THERE IS NO PRANK MASTER.

YEAH, WE PRETENDED TO BE PRANKED.

GOTCHA. HEE! HEE!

[ALL LAUGHING]

Eddy: AAAAAH!

HA! HA! HA!

YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE KING HERE.

LET'S GO.

HA! HA! HA!

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[CRYING]

HUH?

THE KIDS ARE PLAYING IN THE CUL-DE-SAC, EDDY.

THIS IS SO PERFECT.

Eddy: THEY THINK THEY'RE SO SMART.

WHAT SAPS!

HEH! HEH! HEH!

WHOA, EDDY!

Eddy: GENTLEMEN, STINKBOMB.

OH! HA! HA!

MY BROTHER SHOWED ME HOW TO MAKE IT...

BEFORE HE WENT AWAY.

ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

THE ODOR SHOULD BE QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

JUST ONE MORE INGREDIENT...

HA! HA! HA!

AND IT'LL BE FINISHED.

SWEET!

YUCK.

Eddy: EASY NOW.

Edd: SMELLY, SMELLY, SMELLY.

DOUBLE-D, ACTIVATE THE SEQUENCE.

OPEN THE DOOR, ED.

HA! HA! HA!

SLOWLY.

EUREKA!

LET'S GET STINKY!

WHOA! BYE-BYE, SOCK.

HA! HA! HA!

[GULP]

[STINKBOMB SCRAPING GARAGE]

OH, DEAR, WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME.

[ALL STRUGGLING]

Eddy: PUSH THIS STUPID STINKBOMB!

[GULP]

UH-OH.

[ALL GASP]

[EXPLOSION]

Edd: I CAN'T BREATHE!

[ALL SNIFFING]

[KIDS SCREAMING]

OH, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.

IT IS SAID THAT SCENT IS A GATEWAY TO ONE'S TRUE INNER ESSENCE.

YES! I STINK; THEREFORE, I AM.

MMMM...

[PANTING]

DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE.

HMMM.

DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE.

DIG A HOLE. DIG A HOLE.

Eddy: HEY, MOLE BOY!

CAREFUL, ED, WE'RE ABOUT TO DROP THE...

DOOR!

PERFECT FIT.

SARAH WILL NEVER MISS IT.

READY, DOUBLE-D?

READY WHEN YOU ARE, EDDY.

AAAAH! GRRR.

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH, I TELL YOU.

HA HA HA.

[LAUGHING AND PLAYING]

SARAH, I THINK WE SPRUNG A LEAK.

GRRRR!

ED!

THAT SOUNDED LIKE SARAH.

NO, IT WAS A TRUCK BACKFIRING.

LOOK, IT'S WORKING.

SEE, EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO CROSS OUR TOLL MOAT

TO GET TO THE LANE.

BRINGS TEARS TO YOUR EYES, DON'T IT?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

THE DOOR WORKS...

ED, YOUR SPONGE BRAIN WILL SOAK UP ALL THE WATER.

HA! HA! HA!

WELL, IF IT AIN'T THE UGLY DUCKLING.

I'M A CROCODILE, EDDY.

KEVIN APPROACHES.

[WHISTLING]

GREETING, WEARY TRAVELLER.

FOR A SMALL TOLL, YOU CAN CROSS THE MOAT.

UH, YEAH, RIGHT. I'M JUST HERE TO--

Eddy: ONLY 50 CENTS,

AND WE'LL LOWER THE BRIDGE TO THE LAND OF THE LANE.

I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU GUYS SOMETHING.

HRMPH! UGH!

[STRUGGLING]

[CAT MEOWS]

HIT THE ROAD.

I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

YOU PROBABLY HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE, TOO: DORK!

I THINK KEVIN WAS REALLY GOING TO GIVE US SOMETHING, EDDY.

YEAH, LIP.

AREN'T THESE JAWBREAKERS GOOD, PLANK?

WHOA!

WHOA!

I'M A CROCO--

HEY, JOHNNY BOY.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT JAWBREAKER, HMM?

KEVIN JUST GAVE ME AND PLANK ONE FOR FREE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PLANK?

QUICK! WE GOTTA FIND KEVIN!

[PANTING]

[SARAH AND JIMMY LAUGHING]

WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE JAWBREAKERS?

KEVIN GAVE THEM TO US.

HE'S GOT A WHOLE BOX.

DIDN'T YOU GET ONE?

MMMM... THEY'RE SO GOOD.

A WHOLE BOX? A WHOLE BOX!

FREE JAWBREAKERS!

OUR MODERN POSTAL SYSTEM WILL ENSURE

MY RELATIVES HAVE FRESH FISH FOR DINNER.

AAAAH!

ED-BOYS, WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY?

ROLF, WHERE'S KEVIN?

HE HAS A WHOLE BOX OF JAWBREAKERS.

AND I'M ED!

YA, KEVIN'S FATHER HAS A NEW JOB

AT THE JAWBREAKER FACTORY,

AND HIS GARAGE IS FULL OF JAWBREAKERS,

AND HE'S GIVING THEM OUT FOR FREE.

FREE JAWBREAKERS!

A GARAGE FULL!

ANYWAYS, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS.

HA! HA! HA!

KEVIN! WE'LL TAKE 3.

TOO LATE, ALL GONE... LOSERS!

HEY, FREE BOX!

HELLO, WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?

GUYS?

ROLF SAID THAT KEVIN'S GARAGE IS FULL OF JAWBREAKERS.

COME ON, GUYS! THE MOTHERLODE AWAITS!

Edd: HURRY, ED.

Ed: ANYONE GOT A BREATH MINT?

[ED LAUGHS]

Eddy: SHH! ED...

Eds: COOL!

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.

Ed: I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY JAWBREAKERS.

Eddy: IT'S NOT FAIR. I'VE GOT TO HAVE ONE.

[PANTING]

[STRUGGLING]

ONE LOUSY CANDY-COATED...

WHAT'S WITH THIS DOOR?

IF ONLY I BROUGHT MY ANTI-GRAVITY DE-SPECULIZER

TO RE-PIXEL THE HOT-AND-COLD TUMBLER ON THAT LOCK.

EARTH TO ED?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

I'M CERTAIN IF WE LEARNED MORE ABOUT KEVIN,

THEN HE'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHARE HIS JAWBREAKERS.

BE KEVIN'S FRIENDS?

WE'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF ED GROWING A CHIN.

HMM...I WISH I HAD 4 STOMACHS.

[BELL RINGS]

GOOD DAY, CLASS.

OUR SUBJECT FOR TODAY IS KEVIN.

KEVIN IS A YOUNG MAN FILLED WITH CONTRADICTIONS,

AND A GARAGE FULL OF JAWBREAKERS.

IF WE LOOK AT THIS GRAPH,

YOU'LL SEE THE EVOLUTION OF THE KEVIN

IS NOT CONSISTENT TO NORMAL LINEAGE.

CONSIDER KEVIN'S JAWBREAKERS...

HUH?

HA! HA! HA!

[SNICKERING]

[SNICKERING]

Edd: ED!

I SEEM TO BE BORING YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT KEVIN?

YEAH, ED! TELL US.

JUST AS I THOUGHT. MAY I CONTINUE?

OOH! I HAVE A QUESTION, DOUBLE-D.

YES, ED?

IS IT NAP TIME?

I'M AFRAID WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS.

YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER CLASS.

HUH? FOR WHAT?

FORGET THIS! WE'RE WASTING TIME.

LET'S JUST GO TAKE THE JAWBREAKERS.

I ANTICIPATED YOUR PLANS, EDDY.

HOWEVER, STEALING HAS DIRE CONSEQUENCES.

USING THE VERSATILE MEDIUM OF PEAT MOSS,

I HAVE CONSTRUCTED A LIFE-SIZE REPLICA OF KEVIN.

I BELIEVE IT'S QUITE ACCURATE.

NOT BAD, HUH, BURRHEAD?

GRRRRR.

OH, NO, MY BRAIN CAME OUT.

THAT'S TOO BIG TO BE YOUR BRAIN.

CAN I RESUME THE LESSON?

NOW, WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT KEVIN HERE?

HIS CHIN IS ALMOST AS BIG AS YOURS?

UM...NO, I WAS TRYING TO INDICATE THE...

THOSE THREE STUPID HAIRS ON HIS HEAD?

NO, EDDY, HIS CLOTHES! HIS CLOTHES!

CLOTHES ARE A SOCIAL UNIFORM

SHOWING KEVIN WE'RE TEAM PLAYERS.

THIS HANDLEBAR'S KILLING ME.

THERE HE IS!

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE]

KEVIN, HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.

[GRUNTS]

GUESS HE DIDN'T SEE US.

WAIT UP, KEV!

Eddy: KEV, WAIT UP!

Kevin: BUDDY!

AAAH!

[ED LAUGHS]

OW!

[AIR HORN BLOWS]

KEVIN! KEVIN! HE'S OUR MAN!

WE CAN'T DO IT...

BUT KEVIN SURE CAN!

HA! HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA!

RAH! KEVIN!

HMMM...

[STRUGGLING]

Eds: HI, KEVIN!

HEY, WHAT'S UP, PAL?

I'M CLEANING THE CHIMNEY.

WHY DON'T YOU LET US HANDLE THAT, OLD BUDDY.

YEAH, WHY NOT?

GREAT, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

FRIEND.

FRIENDS.

HMM...

HA! HA! HA!

THIS WILL CEMENT OUR FRIENDSHIP WITH KEVIN,

AND HE'LL BE JUST POURING JAWBREAKERS AT US.

WATCH YOUR STEP, EDDIE.

READY, ED?

TEN SQUARED.

HEY, GUYS, MY NOSE TICKLES.

HA, HA, HA.

Ed: AH...AH...

[AHCHOO!]

NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!

QUICK, LET'S PULL HIM OUT.

AH...AH...

[AHCHOO!]

LOOK AT ME, I'M FILTHY.

KEVIN, GOT OUR JAWBREAKERS?

[SEETHING]

HEY, KEVIN, JUST A SLIGHT PROBLEM.

WE'LL HAVE IT CLEANED UP IN A JIFFY.

I'LL CLEAN YOU!

DORKS!

AAAH!

[ALL PANTING]

HEY!

Kevin: PAL!

HEY, SLOW DOWN, BUDDY.

OLD FRIEND!

AMIGOS!

THAT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.

PERHAPS IF WE APOLOGIZE...

FORGET IT!

IT'S TIME WE PUT MATTERS INTO MY HANDS.

WHOA. HMM.

CAN I KEEP THIS WIG?

DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE.

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,

WE ARE DIRECTLY BENEATH

THE BOXES OF MOUTH-WATERING CANDIED SPHERES.

YOU HEARD HIM, ED. GO, BABY, GO!

DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE.

HA HA!

[BELL RINGS]

MMM...

HMM...

HMMM?

KEVIN'S GOT A PRETTY FANCY GARAGE.

MUST BE A BUILT-IN CAR WASH.

WHAT ARE YOU DORKS DOING HERE?

HEY, KEV, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

GRRR.

UM, EDDY...

GRRR....

COULD YOU PLEASE PASS THE SOAP?

GRRR....

I GUESS A JAWBREAKER'S OUT OF THE QUESTION?

HUH?

DORKS.

WHOA!

YIKES!

HA! HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.