Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

WHOA!

[WHINNYING]

WHOA!

UGH!

ALL ABOARD!

OH...

GOOD-BYE!

[PANTING]

[PLAYING CALL TO THE POST]

NEXT STOP-- THE CANDY SHOP!

[PLAYING CALL TO THE POST]

WHOA! AAH!

HA HA HA!

ISN'T RIDING THE BUS FUN, PLANK?

HUH?

Eddy: OOH!

EASY THERE, BIG BOY.

WHOA! WHOA!

HEADS UP, EDDY!

HUH? OW! OW! OW! WHOA!

WHOA! WHOA!

HUH?

[SCREAMING]

Ed: WHOA!

ED, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SLOW DOWN A BIT?

OH! NO.

AAH!

HUH?

NOT GOOD.

RUNAWAY BUS!

WHOA!

EDDY!

WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST! OH!

OH...

I'M AFRAID THIS CONSTITUTES A REFUND.

[CAR HORN HONKING AND TIRES SCREECHING]

HUH? HUH?

[CHILDREN SHOUTING]

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING UP THERE?

KNITTING SWEATERS, YOU MANIAC!

DOING?

HA HA! LOOK!

HMM!

THE MAIL'S HERE!

OH, BOY! MAIL!

IS IT FOR ME?

IT'S FOR ME!

HA HA HA!

BUT, EDDY--

A BOOK?

[RASPBERRY]

HEY!

IT'S MY NEW PSYCHOLOGY MANUAL.

HMM.

WHY DO YOU READ THAT MUMBO JUMBO STUFF?

IT COVERS THE LATEST TECHNIQUES

IN STUDYING ABNORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR.

TELL ME THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND.

MONEY! BOOK!

AND THIS?

CASH!

BUTTERED TOAST!

YOU'RE PSYCHOLOGICALLY NORMAL.

HOW IS BUTTERED TOAST NORMAL?

LET ME SEE! WHERE'S THE ANSWER?

HUH?

WHAT'S THIS?

BUTTERED TOAST!

THAT IS A HYPNOTIZING WHEEL.

ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.

ED, LISTEN TO MY VOICE.

YOU WILL BECOME WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.

1, 2, 3!

AHH!

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

HUH?

AHH!

WHOA! AAH!

AAH!

HA HA HA!

WHOA!

DOH! UGH!

STOP HIM, DOUBLE D!

HA HA HA!

AAH!

WHOA!

BACK TO ED, PLEASE!

OH...

UH...

OW! MY CALVES HURT.

I'VE WAITED ALL MY LIFE FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY.

OH, DEAR.

LET'S GO HYPNOTIZE MORE PEOPLE!

BUT, EDDY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU WRONG?

YES.

HA HA HA!

AHH...

OUR FIRST PIGEON.

Eddy: OH, KEVIN!

WHAT?

I JUST WANT YOU TO LOOK AT SOMETHING.

OTHER THAN LOOKING AT A DORK?

HA HA! LOOK CLOSELY!

LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE.

YOU WILL BECOME WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO BE.

UGH! OH!

YOUCH! AAH!

[HOOTING]

FIND THE PEANUT, KEVIN.

OH...

AAH! GET HIM OFF ME, EDDY! GET HIM OFF!

BINGO.

LOOK, SARAH!

[GROANING]

SARAH, PLANT THE AZALEAS

NEXT TO THE RHODODENDRONS.

OOH!

KEVIN, GET OFF JIMMY'S HEAD!

KEVIN IS A SLAVE TO MY POWERS!

HE IS OUR PET MONKEY.

GET HIM OUT OF THE GARDEN, ED!

WHOA!

[HOOTING]

AAH!

OH.

AAH!

GET HIM OFF!

BEAT IT, EDDY!

AAH!

AAH!

RIBBIT!

[EDDY LAUGHING]

RIBBIT!

INTRIGUING.

SO, JIMMY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?

COME ON, JIMMY.

HOW ABOUT A BIG MUSCLEMAN?

YEOW!

[FINGERS SNAP]

ARGH! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BEND.

HMM.

ADVANCED HYPNOMORPHING.

EDDY! EDDY! EDDY! EDDY! EDDY!

YES, ED?

[GROANING]

[CRASH]

[HOOT]

MY PECS HURT.

[HOOTING]

EDDY, IF MY MOM SEES SARAH EATING BUGS,

I'LL BE IN BIG TROUBLE!

[FLY BUZZING]

EVERYBODY BACK TO NORMAL.

HUH?

YUCK!

Eddy: SEE YOU, FOLKS.

I'VE GOT OTHER FISH TO FRY.

[GASPING]

WHEE! HA HA!

HUH?

HELLO, JONNY.

HELLO, EDDY.

ENOUGH SMALL TALK.

IT'S HYPNOTIZING TIME! HA HA!

HUH?

HA HA HA!

I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S EDDY DOING, PLANK?

PLANK?

PLANK?!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? PLANK IS A MINDLESS ZOMBIE!

NO!

HMM.

CAN I TRY? CAN I TRY? HUH?

EDDY? JUST ONCE?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HA HA!

Ed: HIYA, ROLF!

HELLO, FELLOWS! CAN I SCRUB YOU?

DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?

WHAT?

LOOK INTO THE CIRCLY THING.

YOU'RE CRAZY.

UH, IT'S NOT WORKING.

SPIN IT, BEANDIP.

UH, THANKS, EDDY!

WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS,

YOU WILL BE A...

UH, A GIANT MAN-EATING NOODLE.

[GROANING]

AAH!

WAAH!

NO, WAIT! YOU ARE A BIG, HAIRY BAT.

[RUMBLING]

[SQUEALING]

HEY, COOL!

AAH! AAH!

Ed: TURN INTO A ZOMBIE!

AAH!

AAH!

HUH?

[SHRIEKING]

AAH!

ROLF'S GOOD.

Ed: OK, OK!

MAYBE A SCARY, FIRE-BREATHING LADY--

ENOUGH! MAKE IT STOP!

UH, OK. BACK TO ROLF.

GIVE ME THAT.

AMATEUR!

HA HA!

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

WHEE!

READY, DOUBLE D?

YES. YOU MAY PROCEED.

HELLO, FRIENDS.

All: HUH?

BEHOLD THE GREAT EDDYDINI! HA HA HA!

All: WHAT?

HA HA!

[BLEATING]

HA HA! THIS IS GREAT!

I COULD NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS!

OOH.

HA HA HA!

Ed: HELLO! ARGH!

ED.

MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.

HERE, MONKEY! OK.

HMM.

AHH...

OK, MY LITTLE FRIEND, DO YOUR STUFF.

[HOOTING]

THE MIND IS AMAZING, HEY, ED?

AW, YOU'RE WELCOME.

[SCREECHING]

UGH!

HMM.

Lee: LOOK AT ME!

I'M A MOVIE STAR!

I'M A TV STAR!

YOU'VE BEEN CANCELED!

I'M A TV STAR!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

I WANT TO THANK THE ACADEMY.

[GROANING]

PREPARE TO BE MESMERATED!

NO WAY I'LL BE MESMERATED.

I EAT MY ROUGHAGE.

OH, BUT YOU WILL! JUST LOOK INTO--

UH...

MOVE YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR EYES.

DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR, SQUIRT!

AAH! UGH!

WHAT'S THIS?

GIVE THAT BACK!

HA HA HA!

[LAUGHTER ECHOING]

AHH...

WATCH IT, MARIE.

OH, SHUT YOUR TRAP.

May: HEY!

I WAS SITTING THERE!

TIMES CHANGE.

[DOGS HOWLING]

LEE, GO TELL THOSE BLASTED DOGS TO KEEP IT DOWN!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

[DOGS BARKING]

WOULD YOU DOGS SHUT UP?!

[EDDY AND EDD WHIMPERING]

[BARKING]

THAT'S BETTER.

KEEP IT THAT WAY.

[PANTING]

[GROWLING]

[WHIMPERING]

YUM, YUM, YUM!

CHUNKY PUFFS! CHUNKY PUFFS!

OOH, A PRIZE!

WHAT IS IT?

LOW IN FAT. COOL!

DON'T RACK YOUR BRAIN, ED.

HMM!

YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK.

GIVE ME MY FAT!

OH, LOOK! NO FAT...

BUT I GOT AN EDDY PRIZE.

YEAH? WELL, I GOT

THE SUPER-STUFFED MARSHMALLOW SURPRISE!

[CHOKING]

YOU SHOULD CHEW YOUR FOOD, ED.

ANY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE LETTING ME GO THERE,

LUMPY, I'D REALLY-- UGH!

ALLOW ME TO POUR YOUR MILK.

I LOVE CHUNKY PUFFS!

UH!

I HATE CHUNKY MILK.

I KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET NEW MILK!

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, ED?

OH, YEAH. I SEEN ROLF DO IT BEFORE.

IT'S EASY.

[KNOCK KNOCK]

HMM?

I'M NOT SURE THIS IS LEGAL.

SURE IT IS!

COWS ARE PUBLIC PROPERTY, LIKE TREES.

SO HOW'S IT WORK?

UH, ROLF DID SOME STUFF, AND MILK CAME OUT.

HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

AHH...

ANY MILK YET, ED?

NO, NOT YET, EDDY!

AAH! [MOO]

AAH! IT SAID SOMETHING!

YOUR TECHNIQUES ARE INCORRECT, EDDY.

TO EXTRACT MILK FROM A COW, YOU MUST USE ITS UDDER.

[CHICKEN CLUCKING]

I AIN'T TOUCHING THAT.

YOU FIRST, DOUBLE D.

OH, LOOK, MY SHOE'S UNTIED.

MINE, TOO!

GRACIOUS, ED! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY MANNERS?

HMM.

[GASP]

MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

EDD!

COME ON, DORK! THROW IT OVER!

CERTAINLY, KEVIN. HERE IT COMES.

OH. UGH!

HUH?

[GROAN]

HA HA! YOU THROW LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD.

YEAH, AND TWO-YEAR-OLDS

ARE NOT EVEN GOOD AT STUFFING SAUSAGES.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

WELL, UM, MY SKILLS AREN'T, UH...

HE'LL SHOW YOU!

SHOW ME WHAT-- HIS BUTTERFLY COLLECTION?

HA HA! YEAH, AND BUTTERFLIES

CANNOT STUFF SAUSAGES, EITHER.

HA HA! STOP WITH THE SAUSAGE STUFF, ROLF.

YOU'RE KILLING ME.

Rolf: YOU'RE CRAZY.

DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT.

BUT I DO HAVE QUITE AN EXTENSIVE COLLECTION OF BUTTERFLIES.

WE NEED TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR CONFIDENCE, DOUBLE D.

[LAUGHING]

HUH!

WHERE YOU GOING, DOUBLE D?

THE PUNCHING SOCK AWAITS.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THOSE PUNY, SKINNY STICKS YOU CALL ARMS.

I'M NOT REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH THIS, EDDY.

GO ON, WHACK IT!

UH...

OW!

EDDY, TRAINING IS PAINFUL.

YOU'RE JUST STARTING TO FEEL THE BURN, DOUBLE D.

YEAH, YOU BETTER GET SOME OINTMENT, DOUBLE DORK.

HA HA! HEY, ROLF! INCOMING!

FORGET HIM! YOUR BRITTLE BONES WILL BE

AS STRONG AS STEEL AFTER THIS.

I COULD JUST INCREASE MY CALCIUM INTAKE TO--

AW, COME ON! ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS RUN.

HMM.

YEOW!

HA HA HA!

OH, MY RIBS!

HA HA HA!

SAUSAGE AND RIBS, YES?

FORGET THEM. THIS ONE WILL BE EASY.

OH...

GO FOR IT, SOCKHEAD!

[GROAN]

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

OH, LET'S QUIT NOW. THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

YOU CAN'T QUIT. WE'RE JUST WARMING UP.

WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU,

YOU'LL BE THE NEXT CHARLES CUTLASS SUPREME.

BUT, EDDY, MUSCLE EXPANDITURE

CAN CAUSE UNSIGHTLY STRETCH MARKS.

YOUR BRAIN'S THE ONLY THING WITH STRETCH MARKS.

LIFT!

UH, I REALLY DON'T THINK I CAN.

[GRUNTING]

HYAH!

LOOK!

OH!

GOOD JOB, DOUBLE D!

[LAUGHTER]

OH...

[SNIFFLING]

HMM.

THIS IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.

THIS WILL PROVE TO EVERYONE

THAT DOUBLE D's A CHAMP!

LOOK OUT, EDDY! HA HA!

BINGO.

EVERYTHING'S SET UP. GET OUT OF THERE.

EDDY, WRESTLING? PLEASE.

HMM. COME ON, DOUBLE D.

WRESTLING IS THE ULTIMATE DEWIMPIFIER.

HMM. OK, DON'T COME OUT.

YOU CAN LIVE IN THERE FOREVER.

UH, BUT IT SMELLS FUNNY.

COOL! YOU'LL BE WORLD CHAMPION IN NO TIME.

I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT, EDDY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WRESTLING AIN'T ABOUT FIGHTING.

IT'S ALL STRATEGY AND TACTICS.

LIKE CHESS.

EXACTLY!

NOW, LET'S FIND YOU A CHALLENGING OPPONENT.

[JONNY HUMMING]

SAVE SOME FOR ME, PLANK!

OK! OK!

YOU MUST HAVE A HOLLOW LEG, YOU PIGGY! HA HA!

HERE YOU GO.

OOH!

OH, PLANK, YOU'VE CERTAINLY LET YOURSELF GO!

NO MORE SWEETS FOR YOU!

Edd: THIS IS NOT GOOD.

EDDY, PLEASE RECONSIDER. HE'S FRIGHTENING ME.

PLANK'S JUST PLAYING MIND GAMES.

DON'T FALL FOR IT. LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYES

AND WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SHARP CORNERS.

GET IT ON!

YEOW!

ARGH! UGH!

YOUCH!

EDDY, HELP ME!

DOUBLE D, HERE-- TAKE HIM DOWN!

[GRUNTING]

CORNERS...

THROW HIM!

GET ANGRY!

[GROWLING WEAKLY]

OW. THAT GIVES ME A HEADACHE, EDDY.

URGH...

WELL, THEN, YOU SHOULD SIT AND REST.

OH, BOY.

EASY DOES IT.

HA HA! 1, 2, 3!

AND THE WINNER IS... THE MASKED MUMBLER!

[ED LAUGHING]

IF THERE WAS A CROWD, THEY'D BE GOING WILD.

Jonny: YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE SO SMART?

YOU GUYS ARE JUST A BUNCH OF PHONIES!

PLANK LOST FAIR AND SQUARE.

HA HA! GET IT? SQUARE? PLANK?

CHEATERS!

[SCREAMING]

HA HA! HA HA! HA HA!

AAH!

KANKERS. WHO INVITED YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

[EDDY SCREAMING]

WOW! WRESTLING!

WRESTLING? HA! I LOVE IT

WHEN YOU RAISE YOUR EYEBROW LIKE THAT.

OH, YOU'RE NOT GETTING TO ME, LEE KANKER!

YOU EDS ARE SO CUTE WHEN YOU DO STUPID STUFF.

HA HA! HA HA!

OOH! AAH! AGH!

HA! I SAY WRESTLE YOU!

MAY AND MARIE ARE GREAT AT PURPLE NURPLES.

YOU'RE ON, KANKERS!

WHAT'S A PURPLE NURPLE?

I THINK IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH STRUDEL FILLING.

COOL!

PLEASE PASS DOWN THIS MILK. MY COW IS QUITE GORGED.

PLANK IS THIRSTY.

THOSE EDS ARE GOING TO GET THRASHED!

WELCOME TO THE CUL-DE-SAC WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP!

HERE, ALL THE WAY FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LANE--

YOU KNOW THEM, YOU LOVE THEM,

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM-- THE ERUPTING EDS!

HA HA!

[APPLAUSE]

AND THE CALCIFIED KANKERS.

[BOOING]

DORK! DORK CITY!

[GROWLING]

HERE'S YOUR CHANCE, DOUBLE D. GET IN THERE.

BUT, EDDY, I BRUISE EASILY.

YOU'RE COVERED.

EDDY, WASHROOM CLEANLINESS WON'T HELP ME NOW.

NO, BUT THESE KNEEPADS WILL.

BUT--BUT, EDDY--

COOL, DOUBLE D!

ARE THEY AT LEAST TWO-PLY?

COME TO MAMA!

OH, NO! EDDY, STOP, PLEASE!

OH, DEAR.

AAH!

DOH!

HELLO, MARIE.

HIYA, MUFFIN! LET'S PLAY!

[GROANING]

DOUBLE D's A GONER.

HA HA! HA HA!

YOUR GARDEN IS OVERGROWN,

AND YOUR CUCUMBERS ARE SOFT!

HERE COMES YOUR PRIZE!

[GROANING]

HA HA HA!

OK, THAT'S IT. TAG ME! TAG ME! TAG ME!

OH!

HA HA! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!

[PANTING]

GIVE THEM THE BURRHEAD, BUMPHEAD!

I CAN'T, EDDY! MY MOM SAYS I CAN'T FIGHT GIRLS.

TAG!

AAH!

May: LET'S KISS HIM!

AAH!

COME BACK, DUMPLING!

MMM!

HYAH!

WHOA!

[GROANING]

[PLAYING POLKA MUSIC]

I LOVE THIS MUSIC. IT IS SO SHINY.

AAH!

THIS IS BETTER THAN COUNTING CHICKENS!

LOOK!

YEOW!

HELP!

I JUST LOVE HOME COOKING.

WHOA!

SPIN-DRY AND TUMBLE!

OW!

HA HA HA!

HI, EDDY!

AAH! HELP!

AAH!

OH, COOL!

OH, CLOSE YOUR EYES, PLANK.

HOLY COW!

HA HA!

AAH!

NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!

HA HA HA!

I GUESS THE EDS SHOWED US.

YEAH. PERHAPS WE SHOULD TAKE UP BASKET-WEAVING.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

WRESTLING THE EDS SURE IS FUN.

I'M HUNGRY!

HUH!

HEY, GIVE ME SOME OF THOSE!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.