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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,473 >> Jon: [ Distorted ] WHAT 2 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:04,741 HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE A FAMILY 3 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,108 FROM THE WITNESS PROTECTION 4 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:06,567 PROGRAM... 5 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,084 >> Susan: MOVE THEM TO NEW YORK 6 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:08,436 CITY... 7 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,712 >> David: AND GIVE THEM THEIR 8 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,580 OWN REALITY SHOW? 9 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,508 >> * DA-DA-DA-DA, DO-DO 10 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,453 >> Jon: PREVIOUSLY ON 11 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,417 "DELOCATED!"... 12 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,545 SUSAN, WE BROKE UP. 13 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,249 YOU GOT A NEW FEDERAL AGENT. 14 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,091 THAT GUY RESIGNED SO HE COULD BE 15 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,087 YOUR BOYFRIEND. 16 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,488 THEN YOU BROKE UP WITH THAT GUY 17 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,119 TO BE BOYFRIENDS WITH YOUR NEXT 18 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:23,494 AGENT. 19 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,831 >> SUSAN AND I HAVE A SPIRITUAL 20 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,385 CONNECTION, AS WELL AS A SEXUAL 21 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,064 ONE. 22 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,601 [ LAUGHTER ] 23 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,526 [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:34,671 [ LAUGHTER ] 25 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,168 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 26 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,510 >> HELLO? OH, HEY, SUSAN. 27 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:38,505 WHAT'S UP? WHOA, WHOA. 28 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,336 SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN. 29 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,641 OKAY, N-NO. DON'T WORRY. 30 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:42,412 I'M ON IT. 31 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,480 >> Jon: NOW WHAT? 32 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,608 WHAT'S GOING ON? 33 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,184 >> DAVID STOLE A CAR AND HIT A 34 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:48,782 HOMELESS GUY. 35 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:49,722 >> Jon: [ GASPS ] 36 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:50,847 >> THE HOMELESS GUY'S DEAD. 37 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:51,621 >> Jon: WHAT?! 38 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,849 >> GET A 20 ON SUSAN RIGHT NOW. 39 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,323 >> Jon: I GOT TO CALL MY LAWYER, 40 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:54,662 RIGHT? 41 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,785 >> IF I WAS YOU, I'D CALL A 42 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,389 TEACHER. 43 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,262 >> Jon: WHAT? 44 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,790 >> 'CAUSE YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED! 45 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:01,634 PRANK! 46 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,459 [ LAUGHS ] 47 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,874 I PRANKED YOUR ASS, DUDE! 48 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,265 >> Jon: YEAH, YOU DICK! 49 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,237 NICE. NICE PRANK. 50 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,695 >> DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAW THE 51 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,102 LOOK ON YOUR FACE, MAN. 52 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,414 >> Jon: WELL, COME ON, MAN. 53 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,805 I THOUGHT MY SON JUST KILLED A 54 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:13,666 GUY, YOU KNOW? 55 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,544 GIVE ME A BREAK. 56 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,242 >> NOT FUNNY. 57 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:15,743 >> Jon: WHAT? 58 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,153 >> THAT KIND OF SCREWING AROUND 59 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:17,605 ISN'T FUNNY. 60 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,651 >> Jon: IT'S A PRANK, MAN. 61 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:19,676 LIGHTEN UP. IT WAS FUNNY. 62 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,550 PRANKS ARE HILARIOUS. 63 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:22,819 THIS GUY DOESN'T LIKE PRANKS. 64 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:23,876 >> [ LAUGHS ] 65 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,394 >> Jon: UH, EXCUSE ME. 66 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:26,186 EXCUSE ME. 67 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,517 CAN'T FLUSH THE TOILET? 68 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,691 >> IF IT'S YELLOW, LET IT 69 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:29,289 MELLOW. 70 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,160 >> Jon: RIGHT. 71 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,428 MR. ENVIRONMENT, THIS GUY. 72 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,125 UH, LET ME DRAIN THE MAIN VEIN, 73 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,497 AND WE'LL DO THIS. 74 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,696 HEY, MAN, I DON'T WANT TO, UH, 75 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:37,897 FREAK YOU OUT, BUT DID YOU -- 76 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,498 THERE'S BLOOD IN YOUR URINE. 77 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:39,900 >> WHAT?! 78 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,370 >> Jon: DID YOU NOT NOTICE THAT? 79 00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,499 >> NO! 80 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,244 SHOULD I CALL A DOCTOR? 81 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,369 >> Jon: I MEAN, I'D CALL A 82 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,584 TEACHER. 83 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,306 SCHOOLED RIGHT BACK! 84 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,581 PRANK ATTACK! 85 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:52,849 KETCHUP IN YOUR URINE. 86 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:53,806 THAT'S A PRANK! 87 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,454 COME ON, MAN. YEAH. 88 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:55,819 BOOM, MAN. 89 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:56,916 >> HEY, YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD TALK 90 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:57,847 ABOUT DOING A PRANK SHOW. 91 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,151 >> Jon: DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THAT. 92 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,853 I WILL DO THAT TOMORROW. 93 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:01,664 I'M SERIOUS. 94 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,385 I MEAN, EVER SINCE THEY CANCELED 95 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,861 "HOWIE DO IT," THERE'S BEEN A 96 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,458 HUGE VOID IN TV PRANK SHOWS. 97 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,300 >> THAT'S TRUE. 98 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,627 >> Jon: I JUST THOUGHT OF WHAT 99 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,901 WE COULD CALL THE SHOW. 100 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,501 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. 101 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,613 WELCOME TO THE FIRST PRODUCTION 102 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,565 MEETING FOR "JON HE DOES IT!" 103 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,943 >> WHOO! 104 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:22,912 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 105 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,480 >> Jon: UH, OH. HOLD ON. 106 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,579 OH, THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN. 107 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,421 PROBABLY WANTS ME TO, UH, RUSH 108 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,287 HOME SO I CAN "JON HE DO HER!" 109 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,615 WHAT'S UP, SWEETIE? 110 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:33,520 >> UH, WHAT'S UP? 111 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,721 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING 112 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:35,292 DINNER. 113 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,189 THAT'S WHAT'S UP. 114 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,260 >> Jon: TOTALLY FORGOT. 115 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,528 UM, GET ME A CHIMICHANGA, AND 116 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,886 I'LL EAT WITH YOU AT HOME, OKAY? 117 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:40,963 ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO. 118 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,801 I GOT TO GO. 119 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,396 ALL RIGHT, SO, BEFORE WE GET 120 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,868 STARTED, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 121 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,566 SOME OF MY CHARACTERS, WHICH I 122 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,268 THINK WILL JUST HELP US COME UP 123 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,470 WITH IDEAS FOR PRANKS. 124 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,641 I DO A PRETTY GOOD BROOKLYN GUY. 125 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,810 YOU KNOW [Brooklyn accent] OH, 126 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:54,607 LOOK AT THIS GUY! 127 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:55,538 WHAT'S THIS GUY DOIN'? 128 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,743 THIS BROOKLYN GUY OVER -- WHAT'S 129 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,884 THIS GUY GONNA DO, THIS GUY?! 130 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,208 [ Normal voice ] I DO A REALLY 131 00:02:59,213 --> 00:02:59,653 GOOD WOMAN. 132 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,807 [ Singsong voice ] OH, MY GOD! 133 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,724 I HAD MY PERIOD TODAY. 134 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,346 [ Normal voice ] IF WE CAN THINK 135 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,752 OF SOME PRANKS TO REVOLVE AROUND 136 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,293 [Southern accent] WHAT'S GOING 137 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,518 ON, YOU? 138 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,593 [ Normal voice ] I WANT 139 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,891 EVERYONE TO JUST LOOK AT THIS 140 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,332 FOR, LIKE, A FEW SECONDS AND 141 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:17,327 JUST THINK OF IDEAS. 142 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,931 I DO, LIKE, A HIPPIE GUY. 143 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,832 IT'S LIKE, "OH, WHAT'S UP, MAN?" 144 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:21,874 DOING! 145 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,339 OH, ME SO SORRY. 146 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,837 ME JAPANESE POP TART. 147 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:25,938 I'LL BE LIKE, "LOOK AT ME. 148 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:26,839 I'M A FEDERAL AGENT. 149 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,310 UUUUGH." 150 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,509 [ CHUCKLES ] 151 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,810 * HOW I WONDER 152 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:37,553 * WHAT YOU ARE 153 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,251 * DO DO-DO 154 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:38,922 * DO-DO DO-DO-DO 155 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,589 THEN IT TRANSFORMS TO THIS. 156 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,258 SOMETHING ELSE THAT I THINK IS 157 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,656 GOING TO KIND OF SEPARATE US 158 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,387 FROM THE OTHER PRANK SHOWS IS I 159 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,563 WANT TO DO SOME HYBRID 160 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,360 CHARACTERS. 161 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,701 FOR EXAMPLE, I WANT TO TAKE MY 162 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:49,856 GAY AND I WANT TO TAKE MY 163 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:50,503 ITALIAN. 164 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:51,668 [ Effeminate voice ] OH, MAMA 165 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,395 MIA, PIZZERIA! 166 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,470 [ Normal voice ] I DO THIS 167 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:53,897 CHARACTER. 168 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:54,771 HE'S A ROBOTIC JEW. 169 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,038 [ Robotic voice ] OY VEY. 170 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,706 OY VEY. 171 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,305 OY VEY. 172 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,736 [ Normal voice ] I JUST WANT YOU 173 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,380 GUYS TO GET SUPER FIRED UP SO WE 174 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,535 CAN START THIS SEASON OF 175 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,483 "JON HE DOES IT!" 176 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,508 >> WHOO! 177 00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,583 YEAH! 178 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,681 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 179 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:11,022 >> Jon: HOW YOU DOING? 180 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:11,648 EXCUSE ME. 181 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:12,752 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 182 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,863 >> Jon: HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 183 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,656 >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, MAN? 184 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,728 >> Jon: THANK YOU. 185 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,726 >> HEY! 186 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:22,499 >> Jon: FRRT! 187 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,526 THIS "JON HE DOES IT!" 188 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,071 [ Foreign accent ] EXCUSE ME! 189 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,895 DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE CORNER OF 190 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,000 BROADWAY AND [ULULATING] IS? 191 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,373 DO YOU KNOW WHERE CORNER OF 192 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,542 BROADWAY AND [normal voice] 193 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,040 "JON HE DOES IT!" IS? 194 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:34,941 [ LAUGHS ] 195 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,682 >> ALL RIGHT. 196 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:36,806 >> * NO ONE PRANKS YOU LIKE 197 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,080 "JON HE CAN" * 198 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,408 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 199 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,454 >> * GOT A SITUATION 200 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,679 * THINK IT'S REAL 201 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,923 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 202 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,388 >> * BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'VE 203 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,357 BEEN PRANKED * 204 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,515 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 205 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,662 >> Jon: FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! 206 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:50,787 >> * TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU 207 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,931 * HOW'S IT FEEL? 208 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:52,985 >> Jon: THAT'S JUST 209 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,063 "JON HE DOES IT!" 210 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,801 >> [BLEEP] YOU, AMERICA. 211 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,696 >> WHEN -- WHEN YOU WERE, LIKE, 212 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,568 TAKING OFF THE SURGICAL SCRUBS, 213 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,867 YOU WENT, "THAT'S JUST 214 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,438 'JON HE DIAGNOSES IT!'" 215 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,466 [ LAUGHS ] 216 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,471 TOO FUNNY, DUDE. 217 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,772 >> Jon: BUDDY, THAT IS A 218 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,813 "JON HE DOES IT." 219 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,077 >> IT IS. 220 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:09,906 >> Jon: [ SIGHS ] 221 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:10,710 >> WHAT'S WRONG? 222 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,911 >> Jon: FORGOT THE FATHER-SON 223 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,482 DOUBLES TOURNAMENT. 224 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,458 >> Susan: HE DOESN'T WANT TO 225 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:26,960 TALK TO YOU. 226 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,500 AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO STAY WITH 227 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,356 YOU THIS WEEKEND. 228 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,103 >> Jon: OH, COME ON. 229 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:30,927 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 230 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,471 >> YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD TALK 231 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:32,896 TO DAVID. 232 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:33,770 >> Jon: I'M SORRY. 233 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,567 YOU KNOW WHAT? 234 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,868 I THINK I CAN HANDLE THINGS WITH 235 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,739 MY OWN SON, OKAY? 236 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:37,867 THANK YOU. 237 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,541 >> YES. YEAH, OF COURSE. 238 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,440 UH, IT'S JUST THAT, UM... 239 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,812 WHEN HE TEXTED ME, HE SAID HE 240 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,810 WAS PRETTY UPSET. 241 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,152 >> Jon: WHY ARE YOU EVEN TEXTING 242 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:46,846 WITH DAVID? 243 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,977 >> OKAY, I TALKED TO DAVID. 244 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,046 HE'S STILL UPSET, BUT HE'S OKAY. 245 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,451 >> Susan: OKAY. 246 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,116 >> ROB. 247 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,490 >> DARREN. 248 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,488 YOU KNOW WHAT? 249 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,489 YOU SHOULD LET HIM LISTEN TO MY, 250 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,091 UH, CLASSICAL RELAXATION CD. 251 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,832 HE LOVES MOZART'S CLARINET 252 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,658 CONCERTO IN "A" MAJOR. 253 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,063 >> I ACTUALLY GAVE HIM ONE OF MY 254 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:04,804 NEW-AGE CDs, 255 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,798 "EARTH BEATS -- VOLUME 4." 256 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,770 SEEMS TO BE DOING THE TRICK. 257 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,769 >> Susan: THANK YOU, DARREN. 258 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,771 WELL, UM, THANKS FOR STOPPING 259 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:13,143 BY. 260 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,680 AND I'LL BE SURE AND TELL DAVID 261 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,005 YOU FEEL LIKE A TOTAL ASSHOLE. 262 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,111 BYE. 263 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,082 >> ROB. 264 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,650 >> DARREN. 265 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,158 >> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ] 266 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,926 HOW'S IT TASTE? 267 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,085 [ CHUCKLES ] 268 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,433 SPENDING ALL HIS TIME CRYING 269 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:35,558 THAT I MISSED THE TOURNAMENT, 270 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:36,803 BUT NO WORD ABOUT THE NEW RACKET 271 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,797 I GOT HIM. 272 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:39,829 [ SIGHS ] 273 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,173 GREAT. 274 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,670 NOT GONNA HEAR THE END OF THIS 275 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:45,812 ONE. 276 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,836 >> I-I'M NOT SEEING THINGS. 277 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,711 SUSAN'S [BLEEP] HER NEW AGENT, 278 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:50,210 RIGHT? 279 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,780 >> Jon: I DON'T KNOW. 280 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,149 ASK DARREN. 281 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:53,906 [ LOCK CLICKS ] 282 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,154 ISN'T THAT WHAT ALL YOU GUYS DO, 283 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,548 THOUGH -- TAKE TURNS [BLEEP] MY 284 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:56,920 EX-WIFE? 285 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,217 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 286 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,448 NICE. IT'S A GOOD SPOT FOR THAT. 287 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:00,894 WHAT IS UP? 288 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:01,988 WELCOME TO THE SCENE OF THE 289 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:02,519 CRIME. 290 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,693 FOR THE NEXT PRANK, WE'RE IN A 291 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,561 COFFEE SHOP. 292 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,159 ME -- I'M HALFWAY HOME TO 293 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,530 BECOMING MY BRAND-NEW CHARACTER. 294 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,770 THIS GUY IS A, UH, NEW YORK 295 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:12,995 HIPSTER, MAN! 296 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,230 HIS NAME IS BARRY. 297 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,744 HE'S A BARISTA, MAN. 298 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,736 WHAT'S UP? 299 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:17,967 THIS WHOLE PLACE -- CHECK IT 300 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:18,471 OUT. 301 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,812 IT'S A WORKING SET. 302 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,637 WE GOT CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. 303 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,812 LITTLE LIPSTICK CAM. 304 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:23,910 CAMERAS IN THE WALLS. 305 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:25,111 CAMERAS IN THE SPEAKERS. 306 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,582 WHERE ELSE WE GOT CAMERAS? 307 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:26,910 BOOM. 308 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,824 FLOWER, FLOWER, CAMERA. 309 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:29,616 CHECK THIS OUT. 310 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,177 NEW TECHNOLOGY. 311 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,553 CARDBOARD, CARDBOARD, CARDBOARD, 312 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:32,993 CAMERA. 313 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,586 FEELING TIPSY, OR ARE YOU 314 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:35,258 FEELING CAMERA? 315 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,185 CAMERA, CAMERA, CAMERA, CAMERA, 316 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,501 CAMERA, CUP, CAMERA, CAMERA, 317 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:41,995 CUP. 318 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,825 REST ARE CAMERAS, INCLUDING THE 319 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:44,831 PLASTIC SLEEVE. 320 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,272 WHY SO MANY CAMERAS? 321 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,136 THAT'S JUST "JON HE DOES IT!" 322 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,595 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 323 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,173 THE NERVE CENTER. 324 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,211 NOW, AT THIS PARTICULAR COFFEE 325 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,506 SHOP, WE HAPPEN TO SERVE A VERY 326 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,979 SPECIFIC BRAND OF TEA. 327 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,577 ALL WE NEED NOW IS AN 328 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,049 UNSUSPECTING CUSTOMER. 329 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,977 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 330 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,722 LET'S "JON HE DOES THIS!" 331 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,188 WHAT'S UP, MILADY? 332 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,016 WHAT CAN I GET FOR YA? 333 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,061 >> EXCUSE ME? 334 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,116 I'M NOT A WOMAN. 335 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,663 >> Jon: OH, RIGHT, MAN. 336 00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,259 YEAH. SO, UH, WHAT'S UP? 337 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,290 WHAT YOU WANT? 338 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,934 >> GET ME, UH, A MEDIUM 339 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,799 EARL GREY WITH ROOM FOR MILK. 340 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,868 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT. 341 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,596 MEDIUM EARL WITH SOME ROOM FOR 342 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,171 MOO JUICE. 343 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,598 GOOD CALL ON THE EARL. 344 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,013 BE RIGHT BACK WITH THAT, MAN. 345 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,565 WE GET A MEDIUM EARL? 346 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:29,184 PUT SOME COW IN IT. 347 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,706 [ LAUGHS ] 348 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,912 OKAY. 349 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,223 IF, UH, TEA IS WHAT HE WANTS, 350 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:39,285 THEN "T" IS WHAT HE'S GONNA GET. 351 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,686 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 352 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:43,760 SHH! SHH! SHH! SHH! 353 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,787 SHH! SHH! 354 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,733 OKAY, UH, HERE WE GO. 355 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,058 UH, GOT A MEDIUM EARL WITH A 356 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,263 MEDIUM EARL. 357 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,204 >> SIR, WHAT IS THIS? 358 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,740 >> Jon: UH, IT'S YOUR "T," MAN. 359 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:55,595 >> WHAT IS THIS?! 360 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,943 >> Jon: UH, THIS IS YOUR "T," 361 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,197 MAN. 362 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,844 >> WHY ARE YOU [BLEEP] WITH ME?! 363 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,609 GO GET ME MY TEA! 364 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,608 >> Jon: THIS IS YOUR "T." 365 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,609 >> NO [BLEEP] [BLEEP] 366 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:03,710 I DON'T NEED THIS TODAY! 367 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:04,651 I JUST LOST MY JOB! 368 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:05,875 >> Jon: OKAY, J-JUST BE COOL, 369 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,209 OKAY. 370 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,653 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 371 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,248 PRANK SHOW. 372 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,618 JON FROM "DELOCATED!" 373 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:10,917 THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 374 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,148 >> I DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP] WHO 375 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,852 YOU ARE, MOTHER [BLEEP] 376 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,794 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT, JUST 377 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,718 H-H-HO-- HOLD ON! 378 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:17,794 I'M GOING RIGHT HERE. 379 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,031 THERE'S A CREW. JUST LOOK. 380 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,586 THERE'S A WHOLE CREW BACK HERE. 381 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,934 WE'VE GOT CAMERAS, PRODUCERS. 382 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:25,069 OKAY? 383 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,135 GUYS? 384 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,695 GUYS?! 385 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,614 [BLEEP] 386 00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:32,205 COME HERE! 387 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,365 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 388 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:34,143 RIGHT UP HERE. 389 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,281 THERE'S CAMERAS IN HERE, AND 390 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,735 THERE'S CAMERAS IN THESE MUFFINS 391 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:37,184 AND BAGELS. 392 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:37,977 THERE'S CAMERAS. 393 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,008 YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THEM. 394 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:39,982 >> YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. 395 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,180 >> Jon: NO, PLEASE BELIEVE ME! 396 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:41,751 COME ON! 397 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,749 >> SECRET SERVICE! 398 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:44,691 ON THE FLOOR. 399 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,845 [ GRUNTS ] 400 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,393 >> Jon: HELP! 401 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,717 >> MR. TEA, MR. "DELOCATED!" 402 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,294 SAY YOUR PRAYERS, ASSHOLE. 403 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,162 >> Jon: PLEASE! 404 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,060 PLEASE! 405 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:54,901 >> BANG! 406 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,625 [ LAUGHS ] 407 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,330 [ LAUGHTER ] 408 00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,371 PRANKED! 409 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,766 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 410 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,139 >> PRANKED! 411 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,308 >> Jon: WHAT'S GOING ON? 412 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,409 >> THERE'S NO PRANK SHOW. 413 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,680 THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON. 414 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,109 [ LAUGHS ] 415 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:12,882 >> Jon: WHAT? 416 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,910 >> YOU REALLY THINK I'D 417 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,024 GREEN-LIGHT A SHOW CALLED 418 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,015 "JON HE DOES IT!"? 419 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,176 NO WAY, MAN! MY GOD! 420 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,324 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 421 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,748 [ CHUCKLES ] 422 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,093 I GOT YOU, MAN! 423 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,358 [ LAUGHTER ] 424 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,085 WHAT'S THAT SMELL? 425 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,792 >> Jon: UM... 426 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,004 I, UH... 427 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,895 YOU KNOW, I GOT... 428 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:30,827 REAL SCARED. 429 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,231 I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE, AND 430 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,902 I, UH, GOT A LITTLE "FRRT" IN MY 431 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:34,271 PANTS. 432 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,237 [ LAUGHTER ] 433 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,237 >> BONUS! 434 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,038 [ LAUGHS ] 435 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:40,870 I GUESS THAT'S JUST 436 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,384 "MIGHTY JOE JON HE DOES IT!" 437 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,675 [ LAUGHTER ] 438 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,020 LAUGH AT HIM SOME MORE! 439 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,315 [ LAUGHTER ] 440 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,146 LAUGH AT HIM SOME MORE! 441 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,721 [ LAUGHTER ] 442 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,027 SO STUPID. 443 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,199 SO STUPID. 444 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,966 >> Jon: THAT IS NOT FUNNY! 445 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:08,135 YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO PEOPLE! 446 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,165 NO! 447 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,299 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 448 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,213 >> Jon: [ CRYING ] 449 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,008 >> JON, HONEY, DON'T PUNCH THE 450 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:20,813 WINDOW. 451 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,824 HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON? 452 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,676 >> Jon: SORRY. 453 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,123 I JUST -- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE. 454 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,548 I'M JUST TOO PISSED OFF. 455 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,363 >> OH, WILL YOU GET OVER IT, 456 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:28,715 JON? 457 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,692 IT'S -- IT WAS A PRANK. 458 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,730 YOU LOVE PRANKS. 459 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:34,126 >> Jon: NO, SEE, I THOUGHT I 460 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:34,957 LOVED PRANKS. 461 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,002 AND I DON'T. 462 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,026 PRANKS AREN'T FUNNY. 463 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,470 >> DON'T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF 464 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:38,825 HUMOR. 465 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:39,632 IT WAS FUNNY. 466 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,772 >> Jon: IT WASN'T FUNNY. 467 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:41,868 IT WAS MEAN, AND IT WAS 468 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:42,569 MALICIOUS. 469 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,839 >> BUT THAT'S WHAT PRANKS ARE. 470 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,137 >> Jon: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 471 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,368 IS REAL ANYMORE, OKAY? 472 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,043 MAYBE EVERYTHING HERE IS A 473 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:48,781 PRANK. 474 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,506 >> WHAT? 475 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,809 MAYBE WHAT IS A PRANK? 476 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:51,981 >> Jon: MY LIFE, KIM. 477 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,709 MAYBE ME WITNESSING THE MURDER 478 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,553 WAS A PRANK. 479 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,977 MAYBE THEY SET THAT GUY UP. 480 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,393 MAYBE YOU COMING INTO THE RAGE 481 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,515 CAGE WAS A PRANK. 482 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,790 MAYBE YOU'RE AN ACTRESS AND THE 483 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:02,959 NETWORK HIRED YOU TO PRETEND 484 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,686 YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME. 485 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,731 >> WOW! 486 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,055 YEAH. YEAH, MAYBE, UH, MAYBE 487 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,030 SUSAN WAS A PRANK. 488 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,428 MAYBE DAVID WAS A PRANK. 489 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,729 >> Jon: MAYBE! I DON'T KNOW! 490 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,130 >> THEY COULDN'T PAY ME ENOUGH 491 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,672 TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU! 492 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:14,796 >> Jon: WAIT. HOLD ON A SECOND. 493 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:15,572 HOLD ON A SECOND. 494 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,968 STOP! 495 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,741 ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME, OR ARE 496 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,709 YOU IN PRANK WITH ME? 497 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,547 >> I'M GOING FOR A WALK. 498 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,145 >> Jon: EXACTLY. 499 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,476 CAN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION. 500 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,080 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 501 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,081 >> Jon: EXACTLY RIGHT! 502 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,052 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 503 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,619 >> OKAY, SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT 504 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,964 YOU WANT TO SUE MIGHTY JOE JON 505 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,189 BECAUSE HE PRANKED YOU. 506 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,934 >> Jon: IT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE HE 507 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:43,730 PRANKED ME. 508 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,470 HE'S -- HE'S TAKEN LAUGHTER, AND 509 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,725 HE'S MADE IT EMOTIONALLY 510 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,003 DAMAGING TO THE POINT OF 511 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,071 PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPE. 512 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,969 MY BRAIN WAS RAPED, BRYCE. 513 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,941 W-WE CAN'T SUE FOR THAT? 514 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,110 >> I'LL ADMIT, THAT'S VERY 515 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:54,807 COMPELLING. 516 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:57,078 I MEAN, IT IS. IT'S JUST TOUGH. 517 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,677 I MEAN, MAYBE WE COULD CLASSIFY 518 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,578 IT AS A HATE CRIME. 519 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,750 >> Jon: YES! 520 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:02,948 THAT'S IT, MAN. 521 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,620 IT'S A HATE CRIME! 522 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,947 LOOK AT ONE OF THE GUYS TRYING 523 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:06,653 TO KILL ME. 524 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:07,993 HE'S A COMEDIAN, FOR CRYING OUT 525 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:08,518 LOUD. 526 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,121 I MEAN, RIGHT? 527 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,722 >> WELL, IF WE COULD ESTABLISH A 528 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,093 CASE AND WIN, YOU'D BE ENTITLED 529 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,632 TO RIGHTS AS A SPECIAL VICTIM. 530 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,497 >> Jon: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I 531 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:16,826 AM. 532 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,830 CALL THE COURT. SET IT UP. 533 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:18,801 >> THERE'S NO PHONE CALLS 534 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,168 INVOLVED. 535 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,226 >> Jon: LET ME KNOW AFTER YOU 536 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,573 CALL COURT WHEN WE'RE ALL SET. 537 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:22,538 >> THERE'S NO PHONE CALLS 538 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:22,895 INVOLVED. 539 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:23,803 WE JUST FILE PAPERWORK. 540 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,873 >> Jon: WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM 541 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,842 DOWN! 542 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,955 [ LAUGHTER ] 543 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,726 >> I GUESS THAT'S JUST 544 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,674 "MIGHTY JOE JON HE DOES IT!" 545 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,869 LAUGH AT HIM SOME MORE! 546 00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,871 [ LAUGHTER ] 547 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,672 >> MAYBE SUSAN WAS A PRANK. 548 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,043 MAYBE DAVID WAS A PRANK. 549 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,112 >> [ Echoing ] * THIS IS 550 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,710 "JON HE DOES IT!" * 551 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:25,034 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 552 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,532 >> HOW'S THE CONSPIRACY STUFF 553 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:26,903 GOING? 554 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,830 >> Jon: [ SIGHS ] 555 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,074 I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN. 556 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:29,569 HI. 557 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,899 >> YOU KNOW, JON, FIRST YOU 558 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,614 SPENT ALL YOUR TIME ON THE PRANK 559 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,065 SHOW, AND NOW YOU'RE SPENDING 560 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,784 IT ALL ON THE LAWSUIT. 561 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,075 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A 562 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,647 CALL WHEN YOU'RE READY TO GET 563 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,305 BACK INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP? 564 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,783 >> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ] 565 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,121 WHOA. WAIT RIGHT -- WAIT, WAIT, 566 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:43,646 WAIT. 567 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:44,950 SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALK OUT 568 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,292 THE DOOR, AND, WHAT, I-I CHASE 569 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:46,786 YOU? 570 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,086 I CHASE YOU DOWN THE HALL, AND, 571 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,318 OH, THERE'S MIGHTY JOE JON AND 572 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,862 A CAMERA CREW, AND IT'S A PRANK. 573 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,327 >> NO, 'CAUSE NOT EVERYTHING'S A 574 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,085 PRANK, JON. 575 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,163 LOOK AT YOU. 576 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,061 YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED IN DAYS. 577 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,833 THIS IS... 578 00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:58,970 I CAN'T BE A PART OF THIS. 579 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,166 >> Jon: KIM. KIM. 580 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,237 KIM. 581 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,895 YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 582 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:08,283 >> REALLY? WHY NOT? 583 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,235 >> Jon: BECAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT. 584 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,877 >> WOW. YOU HAVE REALLY GONE OFF 585 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:16,652 THE DEEP END. 586 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:17,219 I'M PREGNANT? 587 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,717 AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT AND 588 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,748 I WOULDN'T? 589 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,753 >> Jon: HEAR ME OUT. 590 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,064 >> MM-HMM. 591 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,257 >> Jon: YOU KNOW HOW 592 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,928 MIGHTY JOE JON HAS BEEN ALL 593 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,726 LIKE, "IF IT'S YELLOW, YOU GOT 594 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,228 TO LET IT MELLOW," AND WE'VE 595 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,970 BEEN TRYING IT AT HOME? 596 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,125 ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU'VE BEEN 597 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,373 ALL, LIKE, HORMONAL LATELY AND 598 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,737 JUST MAD AT ME, AND I'M LIKE, 599 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:36,935 "OH, SOMETHING'S UP WITH KIM. 600 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,636 I'LL BET SHE'S PREGNANT." 601 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,168 I GOT A PREGNANCY TEST, AND WHEN 602 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,843 YOU WERE SLEEPING, I PUT IT IN 603 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,211 THE TOILET WITH YOUR PEE IN 604 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,910 THERE, AND IT WAS POSITIVE, AND 605 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:48,181 WE ARE HAVING A BABY! 606 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,321 >> WHERE'S THE PREGNANCY TEST? 607 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,247 >> Jon: WHAT'S THAT? 608 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,721 >> WHERE'S THE LITTLE STICK YOU 609 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:53,789 STUCK IN THE TOILET BOWL? 610 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:57,116 >> Jon: UM... 611 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,994 OH, WHERE'D I PUT THAT? 612 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,262 OH, I-I DID IT, AND THEN I WAS 613 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:00,830 LIKE -- 614 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,127 >> ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S NO 615 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:02,699 BIGGIE. 616 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,925 WE'LL JUST GO TO THE PHARMACY 617 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,930 AND GET ANOTHER TEST. 618 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,231 >> Jon: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 619 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,903 H-H-HOLD ON. 620 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,240 I-I'LL GET IT. 621 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,236 HERE. COME HERE. COME HERE. 622 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:12,308 YOU HAVE A SEAT. 623 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,735 YOU'RE A PREGNANT LADY. OKAY? 624 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:16,742 BYE, MOMMY. 625 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,713 WHAA! 626 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,341 >> OH, MY GOD! 627 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,179 >> Jon: I TOLD YOU! 628 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,105 >> OH, MY GOD! 629 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,410 >> Jon: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! 630 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,711 >> NO! 631 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,252 >> Jon: LISTEN, I'M SORRY THAT I 632 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,747 DID THE OTHER THING FIRST. 633 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,148 LET'S JUST CALL THIS A FRESH 634 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:57,950 START, OKAY? 635 00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:58,350 >> YEAH. 636 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,721 >> Jon: FRESH START, OKAY? 637 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:00,419 >> OH, I LOVE YOU. 638 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,390 >> Jon: I LOVE YOU. 639 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,888 AND I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE A BABY 640 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:03,319 WITH YOU! 641 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,193 >> AH! 642 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,091 >> Jon: [ LAUGHS ] 643 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,192 >> I'M CALLING EVERYBODY! 644 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,333 >> Jon: I'M GONNA GO TO THE 645 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:07,957 BATHROOM. 646 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,360 I'LL COME OUT IN A SEC. 647 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,332 >> MOM, GET DAD ON THE PHONE! 648 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,701 HE GOT ME PREGNANT! 649 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,071 OH, THIS ONE'S SUPPOSED TO BE 650 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:16,439 GREAT. 651 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,236 >> Jon: CUTE! HAND WARMERS! 652 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,310 HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD, UH, GO 653 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:24,378 HOME, HAVE SOME UNPROTECTED SEX. 654 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,947 >> WHAT? 655 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:26,475 I DON'T KNOW. 656 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:27,949 THE BIRD TRIM WILL WORK IF IT'S 657 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,177 A BOY OR A GIRL. 658 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,323 >> Jon: I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S 659 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:31,818 CUTE. 660 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,048 YOU KNOW, WHAT WE COULD ALSO DO 661 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,222 IS GO HAVE SOME, UH, SOME SEX 662 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,721 RIGHT NOW. 663 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,392 BAREBACK. 664 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,289 WHAT DO YOU SAY? YEAH? 665 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,731 >> NOPE. 666 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,757 OOH! 667 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,231 THAT'S GONNA BE US SOON. 668 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,460 [ CHUCKLES ] 669 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,904 >> Jon: OH, YEAH. MY GOD! 670 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:47,999 KIND OF GETTING ME HOT. 671 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,340 MAYBE WE SHOULD HEAD HOME, HAVE 672 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,466 A LITTLE UNPROTECTED SEX. 673 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,870 >> OH, MY GOD! 674 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,741 WHAT IS WITH YOU AND ALL THE 675 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,780 UNPROTECTED-SEX REQUESTS LATELY? 676 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,935 I'M ALREADY PREGNANT. 677 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,313 >> Jon: NO, I KNOW YOU ARE. 678 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,281 THAT'S MY POINT. 679 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,879 LET'S GET A LITTLE INSURANCE 680 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,220 SPERM IN THERE IN CASE YOU 681 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,415 BECOME UNPREGNANT. 682 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,887 >> OKAY, JON, WE HAVE TOO MUCH 683 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:06,415 TO DO TODAY. 684 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,919 WE HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. 685 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,160 REMEMBER? 686 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,017 NO. NO! 687 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,434 PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE 688 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,426 CANCELING AGAIN. 689 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,827 >> Jon: LOOK, I'M SORRY. 690 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,128 I HAVE TO SEE MY LAWYER, OKAY? 691 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,330 >> FINE. 692 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,171 JUST THINK ABOUT DROPPING THIS 693 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,167 LAWSUIT, OKAY? 694 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,238 >> Jon: OKAY. OKAY. 695 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,436 [ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] 696 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,207 >> HEY, BUDDY. 697 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,765 I'M HAVING A BABY, SO, UH, I GOT 698 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,543 TO DROP THE LAWSUIT. 699 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,240 Not really. 700 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,381 I'll call you later. Bye. 701 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,336 [ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ] 702 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,843 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 703 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:32,484 HI, THERE. 704 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:33,109 >> HI. 705 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,382 >> Jon: CHECK IT OUT. 706 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,281 >> [ GASPS ] 707 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:35,852 WOW. 708 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,278 >> Jon: COMING ALONG. 709 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,554 >> HEY, YOU GOT A POSTCARD. 710 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,952 >> Jon: OH, YEAH? WHO FROM? 711 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,923 >> UH, I DON'T KNOW. 712 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,130 >> Jon: WHAT IS THIS? 713 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,358 >> WELL, ACCORDING TO THE 714 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,363 DOCTOR, IT'S A BOY. 715 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,234 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 716 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,832 HEY, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO. 717 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,243 >> Jon: HEY, UH, ROB, YOU WANT 718 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,235 TO WAIT IN THE HALL, PLEASE? 719 00:18:57,237 --> 00:19:00,567 THANK YOU. 720 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,983 >> JON, WHAT'S WRONG? 721 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,076 >> Jon: KIM, YOU CAN'T BE 722 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:05,507 PREGNANT. 723 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:06,982 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 724 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,249 >> Jon: I MADE THE WHOLE THING 725 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,018 UP. 726 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,376 I PAID A PREGNANT WOMAN TO PISS 727 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,494 ON THE PREGNANCY STICK. 728 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,985 SO EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU WALK 729 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:18,086 IN THE DOOR WITH THIS. 730 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,030 >> OKAY, LOOK, UM... 731 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,957 JON... 732 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,402 THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN GREAT FOR 733 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,327 SOME TIME NOW. 734 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,332 YOU WERE DOING THE PRANK SHOW. 735 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,504 I NEVER SAW YOU. 736 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,541 I WAS UPSET. I WAS ANGRY. 737 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,368 AND I WENT TO TALK TO 738 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,343 MIGHTY JOE JON ABOUT IT. 739 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:40,012 AND, UM, WE HAD A COUPLE DRINKS. 740 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,082 ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER. 741 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,851 >> Jon: OH, MY GOD! 742 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,090 >> JON, I AM SO SORRY, OKAY? 743 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,445 I WISH IT NEVER HAPPENED. 744 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,524 I WAS JUST LONELY. 745 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,061 I LOVE YOU, BUT I HAVE 746 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,986 MIGHTY JOE JON'S BABY INSIDE OF 747 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,461 ME. 748 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:57,231 >> Jon: YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE SO 749 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,530 EASY TO BE ANGRY IF I DIDN'T 750 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,402 DESERVE ALL OF THIS. 751 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,171 DON'T GET ME WRONG. 752 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,440 I WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE 753 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,108 MIGHTY JOE JON'S BABY INSIDE 754 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:08,136 YOU, BUT YOU DO. 755 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,440 SOMETIMES SPERMICIDES DON'T WORK 756 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,312 OR CONDOMS BREAK. 757 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,440 >> WE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM. 758 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,554 >> Jon: PLEASE LET ME GET 759 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,505 THROUGH THIS. 760 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:16,123 LOOK, KIM... 761 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,445 ALL THIS JUST MAKES ME REALIZE 762 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,620 HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. 763 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,619 I PROMISE -- I PROMISE TO TAKE 764 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,921 CARE OF THIS PRANK BABY AS IF IT 765 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:27,193 WAS MY OWN ACTUAL REAL BABY. 766 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,133 >> OH, JON. 767 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,057 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 768 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,271 >> Jon: HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 769 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,125 GREAT. 770 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,343 MIGHTY JOE JON. 771 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,035 GREAT TIMING. 772 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,666 GO TO THE WINDOW? 773 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,641 OKAY. 774 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,506 WHAT'S, UH... 775 00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:47,282 WHAT... 776 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,680 THE [BLEEP] 777 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:52,494 >> THAT'S JUST 778 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,545 "KIM SHE DOES IT!" 779 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,323 >> LOOK, IF WE GO TO COURT, 780 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,522 YOU'RE GONNA LOSE. 781 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:57,993 TAKE THE SETTLEMENT. 782 00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,360 >> $5 MILLION? 783 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,929 JON, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 784 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,427 >> Jon: PSYCHOLOGICALLY RAPE ME 785 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,529 ONCE, SHAME ON YOU. 786 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,200 PSYCHOLOGICALLY RAPE ME TWICE, 787 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,697 COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO. 788 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,669 JON WILL SUE. 789 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,474 >> $2 MILLION. 790 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,442 >> Jon: OH, I'M SORRY. 791 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,340 ARE WE NEGOTIATING? 792 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:15,441 >> NO. [ CHUCKLES ] 793 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:16,482 >> Jon: IT'S OKAY. 794 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,006 BUT I ONLY NEGOTIATE WITH 795 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:21,980 NEGOTIA-SAURUS. 796 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,121 RAWR! 797 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:24,646 >> NO, JON. 798 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,291 I'M NOT GONNA NEGOTIATE WITH -- 799 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,955 >> Jon: RAWR! 800 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,586 $3 MILLION. 801 00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:32,631 >> $1 MILLION. 802 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,325 >> Jon: RAWR! 803 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,187 $2 MILLION. 804 00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,134 >> $10,000. 805 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,328 >> OKAY, HANG ON. 806 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:41,070 >> Jon: RAWR! 807 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,197 $20,000. 808 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:42,701 >> $500. 809 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:43,972 >> Jon: RAWR! 810 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:44,470 DEAL! 811 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,171 >> NO. 812 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,613 >> Jon: YOU IDIOT! 813 00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:51,208 I MADE YOU NEGOTIATE WITH A HAND 814 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,180 DINOSAUR! 815 00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:53,278 LET'S GET LUNCH. 816 00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,419 BRYCE, GOOD STUFF, BUDDY. 817 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:56,375 WE DID IT. 818 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,123 TOLD YOU. 819 00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,687 RAWR! 820 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,058 >> * NO ONE PRANKS YOU LIKE 821 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:04,155 "JON HE CAN" * 822 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,286 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 823 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:07,332 >> * GOT A SITUATION 824 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,556 * THINK IT'S REAL 825 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,001 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 826 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,257 >> * BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'VE 827 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:13,404 BEEN PRANKED * 828 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,570 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 829 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,038 >> * TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU 830 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,166 * HOW'S IT FEEL? 831 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,140 >> * THIS IS "JON HE DOES IT!" 50176

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