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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,200 >> Jon: [ Distorted ] WHAT 2 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,474 HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE A FAMILY 3 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:05,872 FROM THE WITNESS PROTECTION 4 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:06,443 PROGRAM... 5 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,210 MOVE THEM TO NEW YORK CITY... 6 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,979 AND GIVE THEM THEIR OWN REALITY 7 00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:10,377 SHOW? 8 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,048 >> * DA-DA-DA-DA, DO-DO 9 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,276 >> Jon: PREVIOUSLY ON 10 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,551 "DELOCATED!"... 11 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,578 [ GUNSHOT ] 12 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,823 >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YVGENY. 13 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,118 HOW IS LITTLE BROTHER? 14 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,061 >> Mike: IT'S SETH. 15 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:21,955 HE'S BEEN MURDERED. 16 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:22,885 >> Jon: OH, MY GOD. 17 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,060 >> I'M MIGHTY JOE JON, THE 18 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:24,558 BLACK BLOND. 19 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,588 I'M YOUR NEW EXECUTIVE. 20 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,103 >> YOU DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO. 21 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,125 WE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. 22 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:28,499 >> YES. 23 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,596 >> Mike: IT'S OBVIOUS THE 24 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,067 MIRMINSKYS HAVE STEPPED THINGS 25 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:31,395 UP. 26 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,569 THE GOVERNMENT'S LAUNCHED A 27 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,166 PROGRAM CALLED "OPERATION MANY 28 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:34,568 JONS." 29 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:35,898 >> Jon: DECOYS! 30 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,413 * BA DA BA-BA-DA-BA 31 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,365 >> All: FRRT! 32 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,008 >> QUOTES FROM HISTORY IF THEY 33 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,154 DRANK VODKA. 34 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,349 FDR -- "THE ONLY THING WE HAVE 35 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,422 TO FEAR IS... 36 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:54,591 RUNNING OUT OF VODKA." 37 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,588 >> THAT'S STUPID. 38 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,289 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF ON 39 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,131 NATIONAL TV. 40 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,856 >> WHY ARE YOU HERE, TODD BARRY? 41 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,300 WHY DO YOU BOTHER COMING HERE 42 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,155 ALL THE TIME? 43 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,503 >> WHY ARE YOU HERE, TOUGH GUY, 44 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:03,997 HUH? 45 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,167 ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND. 46 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,526 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE TRYING 47 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,544 TO KILL JON OR SOMETHING? 48 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,596 >> KILLING JON IS TOO EASY. 49 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,114 KILLING THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM IS 50 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,137 MORE FUN. 51 00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:16,612 I GET TO LOOK INSIDE HIS SOUL 52 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,310 AND WATCH IT CRUMBLE TO DUST. 53 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,183 I COULD MAKE JON SUICIDE HIMSELF 54 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,123 IF I WANT. 55 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,117 >> YOU THINK YOU ARE SUCH HOT 56 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,049 DIARRHEA. 57 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,223 YOU COULD NOT MAKE HIM DO IT. 58 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,292 >> IF I GET JON TO SUICIDE 59 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,231 HIMSELF BY END OF WEEK, YOU 60 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,627 LEAVE COMEDY BUSINESS FOREVER. 61 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,559 >> OKAY. 62 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,304 BUT IF YOU DON'T GET HIM TO KILL 63 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,630 HIMSELF... 64 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:44,214 YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY SHOWCASE. 65 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,305 >> DEAL. 66 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,306 >> DEAL. 67 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,907 >> I WILL CRAWL INSIDE JON'S 68 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,349 SOUL AND MAKE HIM SHRIEK FOR 69 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,305 MERCY. 70 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,653 >> Jon: OWW! 71 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,577 * LOOK OUT! IT'S THE WIGGLER! 72 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,994 * WATCH OUT FOR THE WIGGLER! 73 00:01:58,986 --> 00:01:59,686 >> JON -- 74 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,317 >> Jon: * BAMP, BA-BAMP, BOOM, 75 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,062 BAM BA-NAMP, BOW! * 76 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,186 [ CHUCKLES ] 77 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,162 >> JON... 78 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:05,989 >> Mike: IT'S OKAY. 79 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,093 I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE WIGGLER. 80 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,164 >> Jon: YEAH, HE'S SEEN THE 81 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:08,502 WIGGLER. 82 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,396 >> YOU GUYS, LIKE, SHOW 83 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:10,027 EACH OTHER? 84 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,030 >> Jon: WE DON'T SHOW EACH 85 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:11,331 OTHER. 86 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,332 IT'S JUST MORE LIKE -- YOU 87 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:12,673 SEE -- 88 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,326 >> FALLS OUT. 89 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,104 >> Jon: SOMETIMES. 90 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:14,601 >> Mike: YEAH. 91 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,672 >> RIGHT. THAT MAKES SENSE. 92 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,569 OKAY. HEY, GOT YOU THIS. 93 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,571 I MADE IT. 94 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,572 [ LAUGHS ] 95 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,013 HAPPY FOUR-MONTH ANNIVERSARY. 96 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,179 >> Jon: WOW. LOOK AT THIS. 97 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,208 WOW. FOUR MONTHS. 98 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,013 >> I KNOW. 99 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,083 >> Jon: THANK YOU. 100 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,680 >> AND YOU -- THANK YOU FOR MY 101 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,252 NOTE. 102 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,580 >> Jon: UH, OKAY. 103 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,954 >> "KIM, FOUR MONTHS IS SHORT 104 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,693 TIME BUT FEELS LIKE FOREVER THAT 105 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,418 YOU HAVE BEEN SUNSHINE IN MY 106 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,094 HEART. 107 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,030 I AM HAVING PLAN FOR TODAY TO BE 108 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:43,026 MOST WONDERFUL DAY OF ROMANCE." 109 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,530 >> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ] 110 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,232 I DIDN'T WRITE THAT. 111 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,604 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 112 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,541 JON, IT'S OKAY THAT YOU WROTE ME 113 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:50,537 A LOVE LETTER. 114 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,038 DON'T BE EMBARRASSED. 115 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,409 IT'S REALLY SWEET. 116 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,708 A-ARE YOU OKAY? 117 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,249 >> Jon: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 118 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,978 IT'S A DEVOTION NECKLACE. 119 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,122 >> Susan: ARE YOU TWO 120 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,446 CELEBRATING YOUR LOVE OF THE 121 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:04,992 SEA? 122 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,115 >> Jon: UH, NO, WE ARE 123 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,389 CELEBRATING OUR FOUR-MONTH 124 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,218 ANNIVERSARY. 125 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,262 >> IS THAT A STARFISH? 126 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,658 >> Jon: YES, AND WHAT IT IS IS 127 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,729 ONE ARM FOR EACH MONTH, AND WHEN 128 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,657 THIS GOES ON, OKAY, IT'S OVER 129 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,133 BETWEEN ME AND YOU. 130 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,470 >> Susan: OKAY. 131 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,126 >> Jon: I MEAN, LIKE, OFFICIALLY 132 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:20,473 DONE. 133 00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:21,668 >> Susan: NO, I'M SORRY. 134 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,569 DIDN'T WE GET DIVORCED, WHICH I 135 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,412 INITIATED? 136 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,566 >> Jon: NO. RIGHT. 137 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,084 NO, I KNOW, BUT I'M... 138 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,605 SUSAN, I'M SAYING WHEN I PUT 139 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,250 THIS ON, THAT'S OFFICIALLY IT. 140 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,645 THERE'S NO CHANGING YOUR MIND 141 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,346 LIKE, "I STILL LOVE JON. 142 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,678 LET'S ANNUL THE DIVORCE" -- NONE 143 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,283 OF THAT. 144 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,524 >> YOU CAN'T ANNUL A DIVORCE. 145 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,018 >> Jon: WHATEVER THE TERMINOLOGY 146 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,189 IS, THERE'S NO GOING BACK. 147 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,257 WHEN I PUT THIS ON, THIS 148 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,585 SIGNIFIES MY DEVOTION TO MY NEW 149 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,790 GIRLFRIEND, AND YOU AND I ARE 150 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:44,291 DONE. 151 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:44,792 >> Susan: OKAY. 152 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,092 >> Jon: "OKAY, SO, DON'T PUT IT 153 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:46,363 ON?" 154 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,430 >> Susan: "OKAY, YOU CAN PUT IT 155 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:47,698 ON." 156 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:48,695 >> Jon: NO MORE BONE ZONE. 157 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:49,256 >> HEY. 158 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,033 >> Susan: OH, BOY. 159 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:50,660 >> Jon: "HEY" WHAT? 160 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:51,774 >> Susan: YOU SHOULD WEAR THE 161 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,095 NECKLACE -- WITH PRIDE. 162 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,441 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT. HERE IT GOES. 163 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,196 >> Susan: YEP. 164 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,273 >> Jon: ABOUT TO CLASP. 165 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,471 >> Susan: THAT'S FANTASTIC. 166 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,672 >> Jon: "IT'S FANTASTIC, SO 167 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,543 DON'T PUT IT ON?" 168 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,041 >> Susan: "FANTASTIC TO PUT IT 169 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:02,312 ON. 170 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:02,810 WE'RE A GO." 171 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,780 >> Jon: HERE WE GO. 172 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,147 COMMENCING COUNTDOWN IN... 173 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,445 >> Susan: HERE WE GO -- 3, 2... 174 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:07,277 >> Jon: 5, 4... 175 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,151 >> Susan: ...1... 176 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:08,778 >> Jon: ...3... 177 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,682 >> Susan: ...2... 178 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,783 >> Jon: HOLDING LAUNCH. 179 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,154 BIRDS ON THE LAUNCHING PAD. 180 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,192 >> Susan: GOD HELP ME. 181 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,316 >> Jon: IT'S ON. IT'S ON. 182 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,292 >> Susan: FANTASTIC. 183 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,389 I-I-I DO HAVE SOME NEWS. 184 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,330 >> Jon: OH. OKAY. 185 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,185 >> Susan: UM... 186 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,191 >> Jon: WHAT IS IT? 187 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:23,462 >> Susan: ROB AND I, UM, ARE -- 188 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,125 >> Susan: UM... 189 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,133 >> Jon: UH-HUH? 190 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,704 >> Susan: ROB HAS, UH, ASKED ME 191 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,472 TO CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM. 192 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,671 >> Jon: [ SCOFFS ] 193 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:32,372 REALLY? 194 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,473 >> Susan: YEAH. 195 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,414 >> Jon: SUSAN, WE BROKE UP, YOU 196 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,309 GOT A NEW FEDERAL AGENT, AND 197 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,311 THAT GUY RESIGNED SO HE COULD BE 198 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,183 YOUR BOYFRIEND. 199 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,650 THEN YOU BROKE UP WITH THAT GUY 200 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,319 TO BE BOYFRIENDS WITH YOUR NEXT 201 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,687 AGENT, AND SO ON WITH THE NEXT 202 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,545 LIKE FIVE AGENTS. 203 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,823 AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU'RE 204 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,220 CONVERTING TO CATHOLICISM FOR 205 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,091 ONE OF THESE GUYS? 206 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,159 >> Susan: THAT'S RIGHT. 207 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:50,717 >> Jon: REALLY? 208 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,234 >> Susan: 'CAUSE I FINALLY FOUND 209 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:52,825 THE RIGHT MAN. 210 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,156 >> AND I'M NOT "ONE OF THESE 211 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:54,501 GUYS." 212 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,655 SUSAN AND I HAVE A SPIRITUAL 213 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,163 CONNECTION, AS WELL AS A SEXUAL 214 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,234 ONE. 215 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,341 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME TO 216 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,835 MAKE SURE THAT SUSAN'S ETERNAL 217 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,366 SOUL DOESN'T BURN IN HELL. 218 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,672 AND I DON'T WANT TO STEP ON ANY 219 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,173 DAD TOES HERE, BUT THE SAME GOES 220 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,344 FOR LITTLE DAVID, AS WELL. 221 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,342 >> Jon: ABSOLUTELY NOT. 222 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,213 >> Susan: UH-HUH. 223 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,510 >> Jon: DAVID CAN MAKE HIS OWN 224 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,782 DECISION, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 225 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,280 >> DAVID, DO YOU WANT TO BURN IN 226 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:14,581 HELL? 227 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:15,852 >> David: I DON'T REALLY CARE. 228 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,349 >> Jon: YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE. 229 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,591 HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE AS 230 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,746 LONG AS YOU BE JEWISH WHILE 231 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:20,693 YOU'RE NOT CARING. 232 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:21,888 >> Susan: WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO 233 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,359 GO, BUT IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU, 234 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,187 JON, AS ALWAYS. 235 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,461 AND THE NECKLACE IS -- THAT'S A 236 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:25,789 KEEPER. 237 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:26,633 >> Jon: THANK YOU. 238 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,797 DAVID, I'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR, 239 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,425 IN ISRAEL. 240 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,599 >> David: IN JERUSALEM -- NEXT 241 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:30,457 YEAR, IN JERUSALEM. 242 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,534 >> Jon: WHICH IS IN ISRAEL. 243 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:32,532 >> YOU GOT THIS, YEAH? 244 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,473 >> Jon: YEAH, I GOT IT. 245 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:33,867 >> GOOD. 246 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,867 >> Jon: GOODBYE. 247 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,769 [ SIGHS ] 248 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,570 [ KNOCK ON WINDOW ] 249 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,382 YOU CAN COME IN. 250 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,205 [ KNOCK ON WINDOW ] 251 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,579 YOU CAN COME IN. I'M DONE. 252 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,378 WHAT ARE -- COME INSIDE THE 253 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,210 RESTAURANT! 254 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,384 MIKE! MIKE! 255 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,322 MIKE! 256 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,887 OH, MY GOD! 257 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,385 MIKE! 258 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:53,787 MIKE!! 259 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,887 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 260 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:58,558 MIKE! 261 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,189 MIKE! 262 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,262 >> OKAY, EVERYONE, HERE'S THE 263 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:03,633 DEAL. 264 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,301 WE DON'T KNOW WHETHER MIKE'S 265 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,468 BEEN KILLED OR WHAT. 266 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,167 ALL WE KNOW IS THE MIRMINSKYS 267 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,438 GOT HIM. 268 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,837 ROB'S BEEN REASSIGNED TO JON. 269 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,438 I KNOW THIS IS NOT IDEAL, BUT 270 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,940 HE'S ALREADY UP TO SPEED, AND HE 271 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,641 KNOWS ALL THE PLAYERS INVOLVED. 272 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,343 WE'RE GONNA DO EVERYTHING WE CAN 273 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,484 TO GET MIKE BACK. 274 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,279 IN THE MEANTIME, I WILL BE IN 275 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,580 CONSTANT CONTACT WITH 276 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:24,222 MIGHTY JOE JON, THE BLACK BLOND. 277 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,358 >> YOU GUYS WANT TO TAKE OFF? 278 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,587 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 279 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,362 OKAY, LOOK, I KNOW IT'S CRAP 280 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,930 TIMING, BUT I JUST WANTED TO 281 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,628 ASSURE YOU THAT I AM FULLY 282 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,430 CAPABLE OF KEEPING THIS WHOLE 283 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,832 SUSAN THING SEPARATE AND 284 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,773 REMAINING PROFESSIONAL, OKAY? 285 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,507 [ LAUGHS ] 286 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,509 COME HERE. 287 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:56,284 [ SIGHS ] 288 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,453 I'LL BE RIGHT OUTSIDE. 289 00:06:59,453 --> 00:06:59,953 COME ON. 290 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:00,723 >> OH, BUDDY. 291 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,221 LOOK, YOU PROBABLY NEED YOUR 292 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:02,862 SPACE, RIGHT? 293 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,286 I MEAN, YOU'RE FEELING ALL 294 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,631 GUILTY, LIKE THIS IS ALL YOUR 295 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,596 FAULT, SO I'M JUST GONNA... 296 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,700 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 297 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,898 >> OH, COME ON, HONEY. 298 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:12,969 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 299 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,796 LOOK, WE'RE GONNA FIND MIKE, 300 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,642 OKAY? 301 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,408 >> Jon: SUSAN IS CONVERTING TO 302 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,306 CATHOLICISM. 303 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,977 [ SCOFFS ] 304 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,745 >> OH. 305 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:25,305 UH... 306 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,982 >> Jon: LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT. 307 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,750 >> YEAH. 308 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,319 >> Jon: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS 309 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,247 ACTUALLY THINKING? 310 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:31,651 >> HM? 311 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:32,892 >> Jon: YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO 312 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,386 JUDAISM. 313 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,988 >> WOW. THAT'S, UM... 314 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:37,760 [ CHUCKLES ] 315 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,328 YOU ARE REALLY UNBELIEVABLE. 316 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,486 >> Jon: IF YOU CONVERT TO 317 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,834 JUDAISM, IT SHOWS DAVID HOW 318 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,399 AWESOME IT IS TO BE JEWISH, AND 319 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,996 THEN HE'LL WANT TO STAY JEWISH. 320 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,428 COME ON. PLEASE. 321 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,003 PLEASE, PLEASE. 322 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,371 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 323 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,010 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 324 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,335 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 325 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,441 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 326 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,542 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 327 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,684 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 328 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,848 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 329 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,006 Please be Jewish. 330 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,283 Please be Jewish. 331 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,621 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 332 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,916 PLEASE BE JEWISH. 333 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,447 PLEASE BE JEWISH! 334 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,792 PLEASE BE JEWISH! 335 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,617 >> OH, MY GOD! 336 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:12,532 OKAY. I'LL BE JEWISH, OKAY? 337 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,486 >> Jon: THANK YOU. 338 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,699 >> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL 339 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,871 SHEETS FOR JEWS? 340 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:26,440 JEWS -- JEW SHEETS? 341 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:26,969 >> I KNOW. 342 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,544 I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL YOU 343 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,442 THROUGH THE PHONE. 344 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,442 LISTEN, I GOT TO GO. 345 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,413 WE'RE BACK AT JON'S. 346 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,881 LOVE YOU. GO IN CHRIST. 347 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:34,821 >> Jon: [ SCOFFS ] 348 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,445 >> WHOA. 349 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,818 >> Jon: YEAH, YOU GOT MY STUFF? 350 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:37,717 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 351 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,048 >> YEAH, I THINK I GOT IT ALL. 352 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:42,792 >> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 353 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,390 AND GOODBYE. 354 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,892 YOU DID YOUR JOB. 355 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:47,834 CONGRATULATIONS. 356 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,498 NOW YOU CAN GO TO YOUR HOLDING 357 00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:49,896 ROOM. 358 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,727 >> HEY, WHO'S UP FOR SOME LUNCH? 359 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,572 GOT TO TELL YOU, I MAKE A PRETTY 360 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,467 MEAN CHEESE SANDWICH. 361 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,637 >> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD 362 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:56,396 REALLY GO FOR? 363 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,503 SOME OF MIKE'S HALLAH FRENCH 364 00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:57,914 TOAST. 365 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,065 >> [ Yiddish accent ] OY. 366 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,112 WHAT A COINCIDENCE. 367 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,737 I JUST BOUGHT YOU THIS HALLAH. 368 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,082 I'LL GO MAKE YOU SOME FRENCH 369 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:03,736 TOAST. 370 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,654 OH, AND YOU PUT THE MEAT ON THE 371 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,346 DAIRY SIDE OF THE FRIDGE. 372 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,847 WE'RE KOSHER NOW. 373 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,649 * DI-DI, DI-DI DI, DI-DI-DI... 374 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,451 >> Jon: HEY, IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA 375 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,022 TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, LET'S JUST 376 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:14,861 DROP IT. 377 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,915 >> I'M NOT TAKING IT ANY LESS 378 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,964 SERIOUS THAN YOU MAKING ME A 379 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,929 SHEET. 380 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,428 >> Jon: UH...EXCUSE ME? 381 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,859 >> OH, THE SEX SHEET YOU MADE 382 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,364 ME. 383 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,774 >> Jon: I DIDN'T MAKE THAT. 384 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,426 I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME 385 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:27,804 FROM. 386 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,441 >> I'M SURE YOU ALSO DIDN'T 387 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,706 WRITE ME THIS LOVELY NOTE. 388 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,475 "TO KIM -- I AM IN ANTICIPATION 389 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,105 OF MAKING SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH 390 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,811 YOU THROUGH THIS JEWISH HOLE." 391 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,453 >> Jon: NO, I DIDN'T WRITE THE 392 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,718 CARD, AND I DIDN'T MAKE THE 393 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:43,116 SHEET. 394 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:43,946 I MEAN, DID I? 395 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,691 AM I LOSING MY MIND? 396 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,656 [ SCOFFS ] 397 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,958 AM I IN BONKERS TOWN HERE? 398 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,989 W-WHAT -- WHAT IS GOING ON? 399 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,034 >> MAN... 400 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,631 [ Normal voice ] THAT GUY'S SUCH 401 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,133 A DICK! 402 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,973 OH, HEY, THIS CAME IN THE MAIL 403 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:02,639 TODAY. 404 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,806 LET'S CHECK IT OUT. 405 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,706 [ SAD MUSIC PLAYS ] 406 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:08,738 >> [ CRYING ] 407 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,512 >> WHAT'S WRONG, HAMMER? 408 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,650 >> I'M JUST SAD BECAUSE WORKERS 409 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,006 ARE BEING EXPLOITED. 410 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,554 [ CRYING ] 411 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,678 >> HOW, HAMMER? 412 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,754 >> THEY'RE BEING FORCED TO WORK 413 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,852 UNDER TERRIBLE CONDITIONS WITH 414 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,924 LITTLE OR NO BENEFITS. 415 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,833 THEY SHOULD STRIKE. 416 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,825 >> THAT IS A GREAT IDEA. 417 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,797 THE END. 418 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,501 >> Susan: I JUST -- I KNOW IT 419 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,869 HASN'T BEEN EASY FOR YOU, AND I 420 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,167 JUST WANTED TO SAY IT WAS A 421 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,838 REALLY, REALLY NICE GESTURE. 422 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,507 >> YES. VERY COOL. THANK YOU. 423 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,005 >> Susan: DAVID, ISN'T THIS A 424 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,737 BEAUTIFUL CROSS YOUR FATHER GOT 425 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:42,182 ME? 426 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,835 >> David: I-I GUESS. 427 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,014 >> Jon: UH... 428 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,453 I DIDN'T GET THAT FOR YOU. 429 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,877 >> Susan: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 430 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,082 ABOUT? 431 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,083 HERE'S A CARD. 432 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,954 "TO SUSAN -- I'M SUPPORTING OF 433 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,863 YOUR DECISION, JUST LIKE THIS 434 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,685 CROSS WAS SUPPORTING OF JESUS. 435 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,530 WITH LOVE, TO MY FORMER WIFE, 436 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,625 JON." 437 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,527 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 438 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,198 >> Jon: UH, YEAH. 439 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,525 LOOK, DAVID, WE GOT TO GET 440 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:03,860 GOING. 441 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,104 >> Susan: LET'S NOT FORGET YOUR 442 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:05,898 BIBLE, SWEETIE. 443 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,199 >> Jon: ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 444 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,700 HE NEEDS ROOM IN THERE FOR HIS 445 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:09,042 TORAH. 446 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:09,796 >> Susan: JON... 447 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,743 >> Jon: WE'RE GOOD. 448 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:11,598 THANK YOU, THOUGH. 449 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:12,874 >> Susan: THERE ARE ALTERNATIVE 450 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,073 WAYS OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD, 451 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,544 AND DAVID HAS A CHOICE NOW, AND 452 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,712 HE LOVES CHOICE, DON'T YOU, 453 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,040 DAVID? 454 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,154 >> Jon: OF COURSE HE LOVES 455 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,605 CHOICE, BECAUSE HE'S ONE OF THE 456 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,252 CHOSEN PEOPLE. 457 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:20,907 >> DAD... 458 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,554 >> Susan: AND SO, THEREFORE, THE 459 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,919 ONLY DECISION THAT DAVID HAS TO 460 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,247 MAKE IS TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULD 461 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:25,722 DO. 462 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,489 >> Jon: JESUS WAS JEWISH. 463 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,157 >> Susan: HE WASN'T JEWISH! 464 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,556 >> Jon: HE...WAS...JEWISH! 465 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,557 >> Susan: HERE WE GO. 466 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,888 >> Jon: THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED 467 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:33,733 HIM "JEWSUS." 468 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,797 >> Susan: EVERY TIME. 469 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:35,725 LIKE CLOCKWORK. 470 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:36,899 >> Jon: "JEWSUS CHRIST." 471 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,767 >> David: OKAY! THAT'S ENOUGH! 472 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,227 LOOK, I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING 473 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,904 YOU GUYS ARE DOING FOR ME... 474 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,103 >> Jon: YOU'RE WELCOME. 475 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,774 >> David: ...BUT YOU GUYS ARE 476 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,913 DRIVING ME CRAZY! 477 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,178 YOU SAID THE DECISION IS MINE TO 478 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:49,906 MAKE, RIGHT? 479 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:50,680 >> Susan: RIGHT. 480 00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:51,577 >> Jon: OF COURSE. 481 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,908 >> David: AND WHATEVER I CHOOSE, 482 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,013 YOU WILL BOTH SUPPORT THAT, 483 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:54,584 RIGHT? 484 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,751 >> Susan: OF COURSE, SWEETIE. 485 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,649 >> Jon: ABSOLUTELY. 486 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,819 >> David: WHAT I WANT, MORE THAN 487 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,819 ANYTHING... 488 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,692 IS TO BE A WOMAN. 489 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,463 >> David: SO, FIRST, I'M GETTING 490 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,161 ELECTIVE BILATERAL ORCHIECTOMY, 491 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,663 WHERE THEY REMOVE MY TESTICLES, 492 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,774 AND THEN I'M GETTING 493 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,466 VAGINOPLASTY, WHERE THEY REMOVE 494 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,167 THE ERECTILE TISSUE OF MY PENIS 495 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,269 AND SURGICALLY CONSTRUCT A 496 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:17,600 VAGINA. 497 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,714 >> DON'T FORGET THE HORMONE 498 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:19,765 TREATMENTS AND THE BREAST 499 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:20,373 IMPLANTS. 500 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,273 >> David: OH, YEAH. 501 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,514 A-A-AND MIGHTY JOE JON SAYS THE 502 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,609 NETWORK'S GONNA PAY FOR THE 503 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,480 WHOLE OPERATION. 504 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,807 >> Jon: WILL YOU PLEASE TALK TO 505 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,353 HIM -- GET THESE AWAY FROM ME? 506 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,547 >> [ Yiddish accent ] A PENIS 507 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,348 ISN'T ENOUGH? 508 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,379 NOW YOU NEED A VAGINA? 509 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,823 >> Jon: IN A NORMAL VOICE, 510 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:32,489 PLEASE! 511 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,815 THAT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! 512 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,391 >> THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE. 513 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,719 YOU WANT ME TO BE JEWISH, YOU 514 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,894 NOT WANT ME TO BE JEWISH. 515 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,492 NO WONDER YOUR SON IS CONFUSED. 516 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,733 >> David: I'M NOT CONFUSED! 517 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:42,828 I'M GETTING A VAGINA! 518 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:43,630 >> Jon: HEY! 519 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,230 WILL YOU BOTH PLEASE SHUT UP, 520 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:45,572 OKAY?! 521 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,865 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 522 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,567 >> THIS IS GOING EASIER THAN I 523 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:49,338 EXPECTED. 524 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,636 >> AND WHAT DO WE WANT? 525 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:51,667 >> All: BENEFITS! 526 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:52,711 >> Jon: THE HELL? 527 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,965 >> AND WHAT DO WE WANT? 528 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,244 >> All: BENEFITS! 529 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,542 >> WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 530 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,313 >> All: NOW! 531 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,250 >> WHAT DO WE WANT? 532 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,205 >> All: BENEFITS! 533 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,352 >> WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 534 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:00,907 >> All: NOW! 535 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:01,884 >> WHAT DO WE WANT? 536 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:02,822 >> All: BENEFITS! 537 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,246 >> AND WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 538 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:04,851 >> All: NOW! 539 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,252 >> Jon: LET'S, UH, LET'S GO 540 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,223 AROUND THE BACK. 541 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,320 >> WE GOT A PROTEST... 542 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,521 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 543 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,422 >> All: BENEFITS! 544 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,723 >> AND WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 545 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,494 >> All: NOW! 546 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,492 >> WHAT DO WE WANT? 547 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,433 >> All: BENEFITS! 548 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,827 >> WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 549 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:16,829 >> Jon: GREAT. 550 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,600 [ SIGHS ] 551 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,867 GREAT. THIS IS GREAT. 552 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:19,766 >> HEY, JON. 553 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,396 [ IMITATES AIRPLANE ENGINE ] 554 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,443 SPECIAL DELIVERY FLYING IN. 555 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,667 >> Jon: JUST GIVE ME THE [BLEEP] 556 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,412 ENVELOPE, JAY. 557 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:26,906 YOU KNOW WHAT? 558 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,277 INSTEAD OF PLAYING AIRPLANE, DO 559 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,405 YOUR [BLEEP] JOB AND GET THE 560 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:29,939 ELEVATORS FIXED. 561 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:30,713 HOW ABOUT THAT? 562 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,680 AND THE NEW LOBBY SUCKS, BY THE 563 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,679 WAY! 564 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,421 >> OY! 565 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,545 THIS BROKEN ELEVATOR'S A LITTLE 566 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,790 GERFARLUFT FOR MY TASTES. 567 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,446 >> Jon: PLEASE, ENOUGH WITH THE 568 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:41,964 GIBBERISH. 569 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:42,885 I'M BEGGING YOU. 570 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:43,920 >> GIBBERISH? WHAT? 571 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,964 I'M SPEAKING YIDDISH. 572 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,358 >> Jon: RIGHT. YIDDISH. 573 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,559 DIEDELAY DIEDELAH DIEDLE! 574 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,030 DIEDELAH! 575 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,458 I SPEAK YIDDISH, TOO, OKAY? 576 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:49,902 I GET IT. 577 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:50,957 >> David: HEY, UH, DAD, WHEN 578 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,434 THEY TAKE MY NUGGETS OUT, DO YOU 579 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,632 THINK WE COULD GIVE THEM TO SOME 580 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,703 NEEDY THIRD WORLD KID OR 581 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,301 SOMETHING? 582 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,402 >> Jon: DAVID, I DON'T CARE 583 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:57,303 ANYMORE WHAT THEY DO. 584 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,044 DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 585 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,738 I DON'T CARE. 586 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,939 [ SIGHS ] 587 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,541 "TODAY DOES NOT MAKE YOUR 588 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,282 BIRTHDAY, BUT HERE IS PRESENT 589 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:04,807 FOR YOU. 590 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:05,711 SIGNED, S.M." 591 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,952 WHO IS S.M.? 592 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:08,778 OH, MY GOD! 593 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:09,481 >> AAH! 594 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,322 >> Jon: DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK! 595 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,488 GET HIM DOWNSTAIRS! 596 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,645 GET HIM DOWNSTAIRS! 597 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,653 >> HE'S DEAD. 598 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:15,824 >> Jon: MIKE! MIKE! 599 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,492 >> I NEED AN AMBULANCE AND 600 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,330 BACKUP TO LOCATION ZERO TANGO 601 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,986 RIGHT NOW! 602 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,064 >> THANK YOU FOR MY NOTE. 603 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,402 >> Jon: I DIDN'T WRITE THAT. 604 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,326 SUSAN IS CONVERTING TO 605 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:24,831 CATHOLICISM. 606 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:25,901 I DIDN'T GET THAT FOR YOU. 607 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:26,799 >> WE'RE KOSHER NOW. 608 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,899 >> Jon: I DIDN'T MAKE THAT. 609 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:28,441 DID I? 610 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,635 >> David: I'M GETTING A VAGINA! 611 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,496 >> Jon: WHO IS S.M.? 612 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,473 AM I IN BONKERS TOWN? 613 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:35,311 MIKE! MIKE! MIKE! MIKE! MIKE! 614 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,338 MIKE! 615 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,643 OH, MY GOD, MIKE! NO! 616 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,514 OH, MY GOD! 617 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:39,011 >> JON! 618 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,512 >> Jon: GET OUT OF THE WAY! 619 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,484 [ CRYING ] 620 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,456 >> JON! 621 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,515 >> AND WHAT DO WE WANT? 622 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,422 >> All: BENEFITS! 623 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,523 >> WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? 624 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,034 >> All: NOW! 625 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:52,855 >> HOLY [BLEEP] 626 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:53,859 >> All: HOLY [BLEEP] 627 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:54,690 >> HOLY [BLEEP] 628 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,664 >> HOLY [BLEEP] YES! 629 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,362 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 630 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,334 >> Jon: MIKE! 631 00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:58,801 >> JON! 632 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,528 >> Jon: MIKE! 633 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,874 >> JON! 634 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:06,039 [ SIREN WAILS ] 635 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,379 [ ENGINE REVS ] 636 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,705 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 637 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,350 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 638 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,716 >> MAKE READY FOR SAYING GOODBYE 639 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,645 TO COMEDY, YVGENY. 640 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,451 [ SIREN WAILING ] 641 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,963 >> JON, STOP! 642 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,615 JON! 643 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,994 >> Jon: [ SCREAMING ] 644 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,572 >> JON! 645 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,638 JON! 646 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,838 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 647 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,480 >> Jon: [ SCREAMING ] 648 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,575 >> JON! 649 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,807 JON! J-- 650 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,424 HE'S HEADING INTO THE BUILDING. 651 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,387 JON! 652 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,600 >> JON? JON? 653 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:10,039 HERE WE GO. 654 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:13,507 JON, EVERYBODY IS HERE TODAY 655 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,606 BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU AND THEY 656 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,738 ALL HAVE SOMETHING THEY WANT TO 657 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,454 SHARE. 658 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,677 >> UM, JON? 659 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,792 HONEY, I-I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT 660 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,615 TAKING MY CONVERSION TO JUDAISM 661 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,620 MORE SERIOUSLY. 662 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,191 >> SO, HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU 663 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,390 FEEL? 664 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,858 >> Jon: [ GRUNTING ] 665 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,708 [ Australian accent ] WHERE'S 666 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,480 THE WATER? 667 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,648 WHERE'S THE BEACH? 668 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,475 >> OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 669 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,221 THIS IS BRODY. 670 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,715 HE'S AN AUSTRALIAN SURFER. 671 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,046 BRODY REPRESENTS JON'S ID. 672 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,621 VERY, VERY CONFIDENT, VERY 673 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:00,049 OUTGOING. 674 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,453 >> Jon: HOW YOU DOIN', MATE? 675 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,624 WHO'S THIS LOVELY SHEILA? 676 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,462 BEAUTIFUL EYES. 677 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,056 >> DAVID, DEAR. 678 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,657 >> Jon: STEP ON UP, DAVID. 679 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,958 >> David: HEY, DAD. 680 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,129 I'M REALLY SORRY. 681 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,498 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 682 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,556 >> David: I DON'T WANT TO REALLY 683 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,474 BE A WOMAN. 684 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,225 I WAS JUST -- I WAS JUST MAD AT 685 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,844 YOU AND MOM. 686 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,795 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 687 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,907 [ Hispanic accent ] JUAN ISN'T 688 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,838 HERE RIGHT NOW. 689 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,754 >> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS CARLOS. 690 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,776 HE MAKES DELICIOUS STREET TACOS. 691 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,821 CARLOS TENDS TO DEAL WITH JON'S 692 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,147 DEEPEST FEARS AND INSECURITIES. 693 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,693 >> Jon: HEY, MAN. 694 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,857 I HEARD YOU'RE THE GUY WHO'S 695 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,015 GOING TO, UH, SLIP HIS SHRIMP 696 00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,693 OUT OF HIS TACO, EH? 697 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,091 GET A LITTLE CHIMICHANGA DOWN 698 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:40,933 THERE, RIGHT? 699 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,197 MAYBE YOU COME OVER AND SEE 700 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,695 CARLOS AFTER THE OPERATION? 701 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:44,926 I'LL SHOW YOU MY CHORIZO 702 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:45,531 BURRITO. 703 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,102 WE'LL GET THESE TWO TOGETHER, 704 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:47,600 EH? 705 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,800 >> Susan: ALL RIGHTY. 706 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,871 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT. 707 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,539 >> JON, HOW DOES YOUR SON'S 708 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,668 APOLOGY MAKE YOU FEEL? 709 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,783 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 710 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,036 [ Chicago accent ] I DON'T 711 00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,614 UNDERSTAND, PERSONALLY, WHY 712 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,052 PEOPLE AREN'T MORE EXCITED TO 713 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,717 SEE ME WHEN I WALK IN THE ROOM. 714 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:03,975 HUH? 715 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:04,983 >> IT'S DENNIS FARINA. 716 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:05,724 >> Susan: OH! 717 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:06,988 >> Jon: YEAH, YOU GUYS EVER SEE 718 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,286 MY PERFORMANCE IN "JO JO DANCER, 719 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,218 YOUR LIFE IS CALLING"? 720 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,692 PRETTY UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE, 721 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,020 RIGHT? 722 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,063 WE WATCH IT A LOT AT THE 723 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:12,688 HOSPITAL. 724 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,032 >> YES. 725 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,055 >> Jon: WHO'S THIS GUY? 726 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,160 WHAT DO YOU WANT, 'STACHE? 727 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,732 >> HEY, JON, UM... 728 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:17,999 [ Voice breaking ] I'M SORRY 729 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,227 ABOUT BEING SILLY WITH YOUR 730 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:19,872 ENVELOPE. 731 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,796 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 732 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,070 >> I WAS JUST TRYING TO HAVE 733 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:22,798 SOME FUN. 734 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:23,842 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 735 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,206 >> OH, HEY, THEY FIXED THE 736 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,535 ELEVATORS. 737 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,569 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 738 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:28,984 >> HEY, MAN, UM, I'M SORRY I 739 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,705 SAID THAT MIKE'S KIDNAPPING WAS 740 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,680 YOUR FAULT. 741 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,764 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 742 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,588 >> OH, NO. 743 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,993 OH, HE'S IN THE CORNER. 744 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,264 HE'S...IN THE CORNER. 745 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,602 >> [ Voice breaking ] OH, 746 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,027 SWEETIE. 747 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:51,930 >> Jon: AAH! 748 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,201 >> AAH! OH, MY GOD! 749 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,000 >> Jon: [ GRUNTING, SCREAMING ] 750 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,701 >> [ Crying ] OH, MY GOD! 751 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,273 >> ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH. 752 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,271 >> [ CRYING ] 753 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,712 >> NO MORE NOISE. 754 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,777 >> WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! 755 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:03,775 >> CALM DOWN. 756 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,606 ALL RIGHT, NO SUDDEN MOVES. 757 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:06,712 NO LOUD NOISES. 758 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,783 >> I GOT AN IDEA. 759 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,121 GIVE ME FIVE HOURS. 760 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,076 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 761 00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,055 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT, JAY. 762 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:17,786 THERE YOU GO. 763 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,190 YOU HANG THAT BEHIND YOUR DESK. 764 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,762 NOW YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE YOU KNOW 765 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,360 DENNIS FARINA. 766 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,631 >> WOW. THANKS, DENNIS. 767 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,359 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 768 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,973 >> THANK GOODNESS. 769 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,066 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 770 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:28,867 >> OH, JON. 771 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,638 I THINK THERE'S SOMEONE HERE TO 772 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:34,037 SEE YOU. 773 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,310 >> [ Synthesized ] HEY, JON. 774 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,608 MY BUDDY. HOW YOU DOIN'? 775 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:37,979 >> Jon: [ As Carlos ] JON'S NOT 776 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,307 HERE. 777 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,652 JON'S SCARED. 778 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,877 >> AW, DON'T BE SCARED, CARLOS. 779 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,622 COME ON. LET ME TALK TO JON. 780 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,317 >> Jon: MIKE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE 781 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:46,949 DEAD. 782 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,663 >> U-UH, NO. NO. 783 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:49,885 I WAS JUST SLEEPING. 784 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,659 I HAD TO GO ON MY VACATION TO 785 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,988 VAIL, AND JON RAN AWAY BEFORE I 786 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:54,633 WOKE UP. 787 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,727 I BROKE MY LEG SKIING. 788 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,058 OTHERWISE, I'D GET UP AND GIVE 789 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:57,763 YOU A HUG. 790 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,174 >> Jon: [ As Brody ] MAYBE I CAN 791 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,065 GIVE YOU A HUG. 792 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,026 >> OF COURSE YOU CAN, BRODY. 793 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,671 OH, HEY, THAT REMINDS ME. 794 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,113 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY 795 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,737 CALLED ONE OF THE SLOPES UP 796 00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:10,142 THERE. 797 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,842 HERE -- UNDER MY ARM. 798 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:15,324 I GOT YOU A T-SHIRT. 799 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,945 >> Jon: [ As Dennis Farina ] OH, 800 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:17,349 MY GOD. 801 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,690 THERE'S ANOTHER WIGGLER. 802 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,115 SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW, 803 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:20,649 MIKE? 804 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,023 >> WELL, I'M, UH, GOING BACK TO 805 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,291 FLORIDA TO RUN MY FAMILY'S 806 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,960 HARDWARE STORE, AND I THOUGHT 807 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,357 I'D COME BY AND SAY GOODBYE. 808 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,759 HEARD YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT ME. 809 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,102 WELL, GOODBYE, JON. 810 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,800 HERE I GO. 811 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,042 >> Susan: OH, GOD. 812 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,006 [ THUD ] 813 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:39,435 [ THUD ] 814 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,769 OH! 815 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,043 >> WHOA, WHOA. OKAY. 816 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,384 >> Jon: DO YOU NEED HELP, MIKE? 817 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,449 >> NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 818 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,417 I CAN GET IT. 819 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,460 ON MY WAY OUT. 820 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,885 HEY -- OH! 821 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,089 OH, UH -- OKAY. 822 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,833 >> Jon: [ SIGHS ] 823 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,040 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 824 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:10,335 [ Normal voice ] GOODBYE, OLD 825 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:10,897 FRIEND. 826 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,243 >> JON, WHO JUST SAID GOODBYE? 827 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,738 >> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 828 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:14,070 ABOUT? 829 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,413 I DID. WHO ELSE WOULD SAY IT? 830 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,078 WAIT -- HOLD ON A SECOND. 831 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,006 DENNIS FARINA WAS HERE, AND NO 832 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,311 ONE COMES TO GET ME? 833 00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,083 HE'S MY FAVORITE ACTOR! 834 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:22,851 THANKS A LOT. 835 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,079 A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME CHANCE. 836 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,493 YOU KNOW I DO AN AWESOME FARINA. 837 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:26,915 THEN HE'D LOOK AT ME AND GO, 838 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:27,489 "OH, MY GOD. 839 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,417 YOU DO ME SO GREAT. 840 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,421 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 841 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,022 IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, 842 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:31,493 THIS GUY." 843 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:32,761 THANKS A LOT, YOU GUYS. 844 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:33,929 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 845 00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:34,926 [ LAUGHTER ] 846 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,257 >> OKAY. HERE'S ONE. 847 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:39,102 "ASK NOT WHAT YOUR VODKA CAN DO 848 00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,168 FOR YOU. 849 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,936 ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR 850 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,365 VODKA." 851 00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:46,441 [ LAUGHTER ] 852 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:47,939 >> [ FORCED LAUGH ] 853 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:51,080 AH! SO FUNNY! 854 00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:53,047 SO FUNNY, YVGENY! 855 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,105 HA HA HA HA! 856 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:57,754 AAAAAAAAH HA HA HA!! 857 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:58,280 OH, YEAH! 858 00:21:58,284 --> 00:21:59,394 >> CAN WE PLEASE HAVE HIM 859 00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,116 REMOVED, PLEASE? 860 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,460 >> Jon: [ As Dennis Farina ] YOU 861 00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,755 KNOW, I LIKE TO DO, UH, MY 862 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:04,856 DENNIS FARINA SOMETIMES AT 863 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,057 PARTIES, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE, 864 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,288 UH, THEY'LL ASK -- THEY'LL ASK 865 00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:08,803 AFTER LIKE, "ARE YOU REALLY FROM 866 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:09,195 CHICAGO?" 867 00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:10,395 AND I'LL, YOU KNOW, I'LL TELL 868 00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,797 THEM, "OF COURSE NO, I'M NOT. 869 00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:12,898 NOT -- NOT -- I'M NOT FROM 870 00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:13,269 THERE." 871 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:14,465 AND THEY CAN'T BELIEVE I'M NOT 872 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,797 FROM CHICAGO, AND I'M NOT. 873 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:16,902 THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. 874 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:17,803 YOU SOUND LIKE IT." 875 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,074 I'M LIKE, "WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? 876 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,041 I'M NOT. I'M NOT FROM CHICAGO." 53079

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