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>> Jon: [ Distorted ] MY NAME'S
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JON.
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I'M IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION
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PROGRAM.
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THE RUSSIAN MOB WANTS ME DEAD,
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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS
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MURDERED, BUT, HEY, THIS COOL,
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SINGLE DAD'S STILL GOT TO LIVE
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LIFE.
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OWW!
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PREVIOUSLY ON "DELOCATED"...
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>> JON, WHY DON'T WE GO OVER
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SUSAN'S LIFE-INSURANCE POLICY?
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IT WAS WORTH $5 MILLION.
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>> Jon: $5 -- $5 MILLION?
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HERE'S THE MILLION DOLLARS FOR
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PROTECTION.
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>> YOU ARE NOW WANG CHO
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PROTECTED.
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>> JON WILL DRIVE WANG CHOS
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CUCKOO-BANANAS.
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THEN WE STRIKE!
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>> Jon: [ SCREAMING ]
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>> JON! WHAT'S GOING ON?
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>> Jon: I JUST REALIZED
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SOMETHING.
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I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.
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>> NEGATIVE.
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>> David: WHAT'S GOING ON?
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>> STAND DOWN.
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HE'S JUST HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL
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CRISIS.
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>> 10-4.
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DON'T WORRY.
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YOUR FRIENDS ARE RIGHT HERE,
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JON.
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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
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NO, YOU GUYS DON'T COUNT.
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YOU'RE PROFESSIONAL
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RELATIONSHIPS.
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>> David: I'M A PROFESSIONAL
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RELATIONSHIP?
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>> Jon: DAVID, I HAVE TO HANG
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OUT WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT?
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I'M OBLIGATED TO.
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I CAN'T JUST CALL YOU UP AND BE
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ALL LIKE, "WHAT'S UP, BRAH?
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LET'S GO GRAB A COUPLE FALAF
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SANDIES, WASH 'EM DOWN WITH SOME
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ICE-COLD 'RONAS...
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CHECK OUT SOME TUSH."
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YOU'RE MY SON.
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I CAN'T BE ALL LIKE, "WHAT'S UP,
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BRAH?
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YEAH, BRAH!"
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>> David: I GET IT.
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>> Jon: OH, YEAH, BRAH.
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>> David: WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO
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ON THE INTERNET?
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THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE THERE
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LOOKING FOR FRIENDS.
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>> Jon: THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
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>> I'M PART OF AN ABU GHRAIB
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ALUMNI GROUP.
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WE PLAN A LOT OF FUN ACTIVITIES.
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WE JUST HAD A BIG CAR WASH.
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>> David: NICE.
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HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU GUYS
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RAISE FOR THE TROOPS?
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>> IT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR NEXT
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TIME.
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>> David: WHOA, DAD.
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THERE'S ALREADY A PAGE FOR YOU.
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>> Jon: WHAT?
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SERIOUSLY?
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>> David: YEAH. LOOK.
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>> Jon: WHAT?
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CLICK ON THE PHOTOS.
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THE HELL?
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WHAT IS THIS ONE?
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"SANDWICH HUMPER."
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THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?!
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>> OH! FORGET ABOUT
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journalface.net AND CHECK OUT
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the-world-around-you.life!
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IF PEOPLE GOT TO KNOW YOU, JON,
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THEY WOULD LOVE YOU.
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THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THAT JON
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FROM "DELOCATED" NEEDS A FRIEND!
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[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> * I'M LOOKING FOR A FRIEND
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* I'M LOOKING FOR A FRIEND
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>> HEY! HEY!
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SANDWICH HUMPER GUY!
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YEAH! YOU LIKE IT!
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UNH!
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[ SINGING IN RUSSIAN ]
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[ ALL CHEER ]
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
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>> [ GASPS ]
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THANK YOU!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> SO, SERGEI, THIS BIG PLAN OF
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YOURS TO LET JON MAKE THE
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WANG CHOS FALL APART --
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WORD ON THE STREET IS IT AIN'T
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WORKING.
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>> HM.
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PLAN GOING VERY WELL.
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PEOPLE CAN START DYING ANY
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MINUTE NOW.
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PEOPLE WHO LOOK JUST LIKE YOU,
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TODD BARRY.
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>> RELAX.
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>> WHO IS THAT?
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>> OH, THAT'S MISHKA.
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I HIRED HIM TO HELP OUT AROUND
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HERE.
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MISHKA!
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>> HEY! OH!
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SERGEI! SERGEI!
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GREAT TO MEET YOU, SERGEI.
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BEEN WAITING LONG TIME.
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YOU'RE TINIER THAN I THOUGHT
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YOU'D BE.
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>> AND LOOK AT YOU.
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YOU LOOK LIKE PATHETIC OLD LADY.
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>> OH.
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I KNIT SOMETHING FOR SECRET
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PROJECT, SERGEI.
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>> QUIET, MISHKA.
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>> SECRET PROJECT?
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>> YES.
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>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
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>> IT WILL BE FUN.
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LOOK.
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YOU LIKE?
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>> I DO.
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NOW, GO GET ME SOME COFFEE,
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MISHKA!
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>> Jon: UH, SAY THAT I HAVE A
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SWEET LOFT.
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UH, MENTION THE MILLION-DOLLAR
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FRIEND CONTEST.
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>> YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO DO?
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LOOK UP OLD GIRLFRIENDS.
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IT'S A LEGAL WAY OF KEEPING IN
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TOUCH.
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[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]
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>> David: UH-OH.
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IT'S A NEW VIDEO ALERT FROM
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FAKE JON.
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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
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[ ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> David: [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> Jon: IT'S NOT FUNNY.
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SHUT UP.
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>> David: SORRY.
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>> Jon: GIVE ME THIS.
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>> David: YEAH.
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>> Jon: "DEAR FAKE JON,
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ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
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I'M THE...
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>> "REAL JON.
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I'M WRITING YOU TODAY TO LET YOU
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KNOW THAT I DO NOT LIKE YOUR
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PAGE.
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PLEASE TAKE DOWN PAGE
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IMMEDIATELY, OR I WILL HAVE
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INTERNET COPS INVOLVED."
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[ BOTH LAUGH ]
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INTERNET COPS!
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>> [ Laughing ] INTERNET COPS!
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>> ARE THERE INTERNET COPS?
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>> WHY IS JON MAKING MOUTH LOVE
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TO SANDWICH?
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>> NO, NO.
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THAT'S NOT JON.
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IT'S ME PRETENDING TO BE JON.
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>> PLAN IS TO HUMILIATE JON ALL
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OVER THE INTERNET.
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>> YOU LIKE SECRET PROJECT,
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SERGEI?
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>> YVGENY, MAY I BORROW MISHKA?
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>> WHAT'S UP, NEW YORK CITY?!
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THIS IS BIG KEV 90.1, WXEN --
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THE BLIZZ!
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HEY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD
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THE NEWS, GOT A CRAZY CONTEST
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GOING ON.
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JON FROM "DELOCATED" OFFERING
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$1 MILLION FOR A NEW BEST
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FRIEND.
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THEY'RE LINING UP AROUND THE
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BLOCK.
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IF YOU WANT TO TAKE PART, YOU
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GOT TO GET DOWN THERE,
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NEW YORK.
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CHECK IT OUT!
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>> MAN, THIS SANDWICH FROM
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NICKY'S IS AWESOME!
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SURE WISH I COULD TAKE IT TO
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THE RAGE CAGE.
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OR THE BONE ZONE!
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PFFRT!
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>> IF I MAY, T-THAT'S JUST A
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LITTLE KISS-ASSY.
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>> I REALLY BADLY WANT TO BE
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YOUR FRIEND.
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>> AND CAN I JUST FIND OUT --
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WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LAST BEST
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FRIEND?
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>> MY LAST BEST FRIEND, UH, WAS
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MURDERED.
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>> I'M SORRY.
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>> Jon: VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
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>> WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE TELL ME
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THAT FROM THIS ANGLE I LOOK LIKE
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JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP.
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>> MM.
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>> AND THAT, UH, FROM THIS SIDE,
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IT'S KID ROCK.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK, JON?
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>> David: YEAH.
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I -- I DON'T KNOW.
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HE JUST SORT OF CREEPS ME OUT.
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>> Jon: TAKE A WALK, BEANTOWN.
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CAN YOU TELL US WHAT YOU BRING
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TO THE TABLE AS FAR AS BEING MY
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BEST FRIEND?
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>> HOOPS.
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WE COULD GO OUT AND SHOOT HOOPS
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TOGETHER.
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>> Jon: I LIKE HOOPS.
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[ NO AUDIO ]
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>> THAT'S, UM, "WHENEVER I CALL
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YOU 'FRIEND'"...
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BY KENNY LOGGINS.
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>> Jon: AND CAN YOU TELL US WHY
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YOU THINK YOU'RE QUALIFIED TO BE
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MY BEST FRIEND?
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>> OKAY.
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>> OH!
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OH, MY GOODNESS!
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[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> NEW YORK CITY, JON'S FRIEND
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CONTEST DOWN TO THE FINAL
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ROUND.
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LET'S FIND OUT WHO'S GONNA WIN
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THAT MILLION BUCKS!
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>> Jon: THIS WAS A REAL TOUGH
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DECIZ.
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BUT IN THE END, THERE WAS ONE
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BROMIGO THAT I CAN SEE MYSELF
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PULLING A QUALITY HANG WITH
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NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AS WE POUND
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BREWS AND BANG BABES.
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[ DRUMROLL ]
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AND THAT DAWG...
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THAT DAWG...
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WAS RONNIE!
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>> YEAH!
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[BLEEP] YEAH!
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WHOO!
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>> Jon: DUDE, I AM PSYCHED TO
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START THE RONNIE AND JONNY
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BREAK-DANCE TEAM.
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* OW! POP AND LOCK
270
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,592
* OH OH-EH-OH-EH OH!
271
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,247
[ LAUGHS ]
272
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,094
>> DEFINITELY!
273
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,488
BUT, UH, HOW ABOUT WE GET THE
274
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,860
MONEY THING ALL SQUARED AWAY
275
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,428
FIRST?
276
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,856
MILLION DOLLARS, RIGHT?
277
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,261
>> Jon: HOLD UP, GUYS.
278
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,332
HOLD UP.
279
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,331
UH, IF ANY OF YOU GUYS ARE HERE
280
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,373
FOR THE FRIENDSHIP, YOU CAN COME
281
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,038
RIGHT BACK HERE, LINE UP.
282
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,437
WE'LL RE-VOTE, AND I'LL
283
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,938
HIGH-FIVE THE NEW WINNER.
284
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,111
BUT IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE
285
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,078
MONEY, THEN GET OUT.
286
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,222
>> GO [BLEEP] A SANDWICH,
287
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,189
BUTTHOLE!
288
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,367
>> Jon: I'M SORRY, JAY.
289
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,342
GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF HERE.
290
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,403
[ LAUGHTER ]
291
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,239
>> DO YOU SEE THIS MAN?
292
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:03,743
>> YES.
293
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,354
>> THE ONE STANDING THERE -- NOT
294
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,905
THE ONE WALKING AWAY.
295
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,624
THIS MAN HERE TO HELP US MAKE
296
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,316
ANOTHER FAKE JON PRANK VIDEO.
297
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,177
>> OH, YEAH?
298
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,194
>> THIS FAKE GUN.
299
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,315
>> OH. LOOK AT THIS.
300
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,760
>> NO BULLETS, JUST BLANKS.
301
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:15,315
>> TINY.
302
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,162
>> PRETEND TO SHOOT HIM IN THE
303
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:17,687
HEAD.
304
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,161
>> OH! YEAH?
305
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:19,589
>> OH.
306
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,933
AND, MISHKA, THERE WILL BE FAKE
307
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:21,528
BLOOD, TOO.
308
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,258
>> I AM JON.
309
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,132
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
310
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:23,660
PERFECT.
311
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,274
OKAY.
312
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,495
GO AHEAD.
313
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,600
>> SAY, "ACTION!"
314
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,272
>> OH. SORRY, MISHKA.
315
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,240
ACTION!
316
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:49,556
[ LAUGHS ]
317
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,756
PERFECT.
318
00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,197
>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
319
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,070
[ SIGHS ]
320
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,798
>> HEY, SANDWICH DICK!
321
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,543
UNH!
322
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,306
UNH! UNH! UNH!
323
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,805
[ LAUGHS ]
324
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,737
>> SAY, UH, WHAT'S UP WITH THE
325
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:09,542
SKI MASK?
326
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,542
>> Jon: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME ON
327
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,514
THE INTERNET MAKING A SANDWICH
328
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:14,153
PENIS?
329
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,577
>> SANDWICH PENIS?
330
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,582
[ LAUGHS ]
331
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,923
GIVE ME A FOOT-LONG ON WHEAT AND
332
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,189
HOLD THE BALLS.
333
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,147
[ LAUGHS ]
334
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,724
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
335
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:23,723
>> Jon: [ LAUGHS ]
336
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:24,564
PFFRT!
337
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,727
[ LAUGHS ]
338
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,526
>> WELL, I'M NOT MUCH FOR THE
339
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,757
INTERNET, YOU KNOW?
340
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,532
NO ONE TO E-MAIL WITH, REALLY.
341
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,930
>> Jon: NO? NO FAMILY?
342
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:32,702
>> NO FAMILY.
343
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,170
NEVER REALLY GOT AROUND TO IT.
344
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,267
>> Jon: [ LAUGHS ]
345
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,938
LOOK AT THOSE TWO NERDS, HUH?
346
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,767
[ LAUGHS ]
347
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,742
>> MAKES ME SAD TO KNOW THAT
348
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,381
I'LL NEVER GET TO BE A
349
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,845
GRANDFATHER.
350
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:45,775
OH, WELL.
351
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,019
I GUESS IT'S NOT SO BAD BEING
352
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,675
MARRIED TO MY HAND.
353
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,923
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
354
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,088
>> Jon: [ LAUGHS ]
355
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,245
LET ME SHAKE THAT HAND.
356
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,264
I'M JON.
357
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,855
>> NICE TO MEET YOU, JON.
358
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,087
I'M CHARLIE.
359
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:05,401
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
360
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,628
>> * HANGING OUT WITH MY NEW
361
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,644
BEST FRIEND *
362
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,436
* JUST HE AND ME
363
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,439
* DOING WHAT NEW BEST FRIENDS DO
364
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,482
WELL *
365
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,276
* IT'S A TWO-MAN PARTY
366
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,449
* YOU'VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE
367
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,747
I'VE BEEN LATELY *
368
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,950
* DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY
369
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,162
* I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH MY
370
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:31,085
NEW BEST FRIEND *
371
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:35,001
* MY NEW BEST FRIEND...
372
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,555
>> Jon: * GOT A NEW BEST FRIEND,
373
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,434
AND HIS NAME IS CHARLIE *
374
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,072
* MARRIED TO HIS HAND, NEVER HAD
375
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:43,439
A FAMILY *
376
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,336
PFFRT!
377
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,567
[ LAUGHS ]
378
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,312
SEE IF I GOT ANY NEW MESSAGES.
379
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:47,837
WHOA!
380
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,641
HEARD FROM KAREN WHITAKER, MY
381
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,282
PROM DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
382
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,108
LISTEN TO THIS.
383
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,583
"JON, BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW.
384
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,081
GOOD LUCK WITH THE BEST FRIEND
385
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:56,623
CONTEST.
386
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,146
IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE SEEING AN
387
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,421
OLD FRIEND, COME ON DOWN TO
388
00:11:59,419 --> 00:11:59,919
PHILLY."
389
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,190
>> David: I THOUGHT YOU WERE
390
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,588
JUST LOOKING FOR A BEST FRIEND?
391
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,289
>> Jon: I AM.
392
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,760
BUT, UH, BEST FRIENDS AREN'T
393
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,689
HIGH-SCHOOL TUSH.
394
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:16,502
[ BILLIARD BALLS CLACK ]
395
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:17,303
>> GOOD SHOT.
396
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,774
>> Jon: AND THAT IS HOW THE
397
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,272
"PFFRT" CRUMBLES, CHARLIE, MY
398
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:20,673
MAN!
399
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,513
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
400
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,178
OH, UH, BEFORE I FORGET, I'M NOT
401
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,846
GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT NEXT
402
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:25,805
WEEK.
403
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,453
HEADING TO THE CITY OF BROTHERLY
404
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,947
LOVE TO MEET MY OLD PROM DATE
405
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:29,879
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
406
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,023
WANTS TO HAVE A LITTLE
407
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,518
"MANO Y JON-O," IF YOU KNOW WHAT
408
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,019
I MEAN.
409
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,190
[ LAUGHS ]
410
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:34,887
>> OKAY.
411
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,888
BUT MAKE SURE YOU GET IN A PUMP
412
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,360
FOR GOOD OLD CHARLIE.
413
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,658
YOU KNOW, BACK IN MY ARMY DAYS,
414
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,030
I USED TO BE KNOWN AS THREE-PUMP
415
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,660
HUMP.
416
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:47,303
A ONE...A TWO...A THREE!
417
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,070
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
418
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,469
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
419
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,240
>> Jon: I'LL BE BACK IN TWO
420
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,239
DAYS, THEN WE'LL GET SOME HANG.
421
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,311
>> I-IN THE MEANTIME, UH, TAKE
422
00:12:56,309 --> 00:13:00,079
MY PITCH PIPE...FOR GOOD LUCK.
423
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,050
>> Jon: YOU MEAN IT?
424
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,089
[ SIGHS ]
425
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,533
THIS IS WEIRD.
426
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,597
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
427
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:20,395
[ SIGHS ]
428
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,200
KAREN.
429
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,071
>> JON.
430
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,239
>> Jon: OH.
431
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,436
[ CHUCKLES ]
432
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,937
CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
433
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,880
>> PROM NIGHT, 1986.
434
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,176
>> Jon: UGH.
435
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,537
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT
436
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:31,954
THIS.
437
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:32,545
THIS IS...
438
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,545
>> LOOK AT MY HAIR.
439
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:34,246
>> Jon: UGH.
440
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:37,247
TWO WEIRD PEAS IN A WEIRD POD.
441
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,750
WHOA! KAREN...
442
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,691
>> OH!
443
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,446
JON, I'M SORRY.
444
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,794
>> Jon: HEY.
445
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,090
WHAT'S GOING ON?
446
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,132
>> [ SIGHS ]
447
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,526
I'VE JUST BEEN GOING THROUGH A
448
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,457
ROUGH PATCH LATELY.
449
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,701
I'VE BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR
450
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,456
A WHILE.
451
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,234
I THINK MY HOUSE IS GONNA GET
452
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,103
REPOSSESSED.
453
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,241
>> Jon: OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
454
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,706
BETTER -- BETTER REPOSSESSED
455
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:03,475
THAN [Eerily] POSSESSED.
456
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,406
[ LAUGHS ]
457
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:05,881
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
458
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,149
SORRY.
459
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,748
OH. IT'S MY FRIEND CHARLIE.
460
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,749
VOICE MAIL.
461
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,450
PFFRT.
462
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,951
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
463
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:13,923
[ LAUGHS ]
464
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,561
>> THANKS FOR COMING HERE, JON.
465
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,326
SEEING YOU MAKES ME FEEL A LOT
466
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,825
BETTER.
467
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,586
>> Jon: I KNEW YOU WERE A FREE
468
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,504
AGENT.
469
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,226
>> JON.
470
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,502
JON.
471
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,740
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO
472
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,165
KNOW.
473
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,570
REMEMBER AFTER PROM NIGHT WHEN
474
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,941
YOU SAID, "THANKS FOR THE SWEET
475
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,670
ONE AND DONE"?
476
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:37,484
>> Jon: MM-HMM.
477
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,577
>> WELL, IT WASN'T JUST A ONE
478
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,850
AND DONE.
479
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,278
YOU GOT ME PREGNANT.
480
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,494
SHE'S GROWN UP TO BE A
481
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,945
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN, AND
482
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,624
SHE'S GOT A DAUGHTER OF HER OWN.
483
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:55,101
JON...YOU'RE A GRANDPA.
484
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:55,755
THIS IS DONNA.
485
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:56,962
>> Jon: WHEN -- WHEN CAN I MEET
486
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:57,304
HER?
487
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,497
WHEN -- WHEN CAN I MEET HER AND
488
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:58,868
ANNIE?
489
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,095
>> I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD
490
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:00,500
IDEA.
491
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,970
>> Jon: WHY? THEY'RE NOT AROUND?
492
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,439
>> NO, BUT WHAT IF THIS IS JUST
493
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,466
ANOTHER ONE AND DONE?
494
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,371
>> Jon: LOOK.
495
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:06,972
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME TO
496
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:07,674
NEW YORK?
497
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,184
>> JON, W-WE REALLY CAN'T
498
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:10,106
AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW.
499
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:10,980
>> Jon: KAREN, LOOK.
500
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,008
I'VE COME INTO A LOT OF
501
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,312
INSURANCE MONEY RECENTLY, OKAY?
502
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,513
NOW, I'M SUPPOSED TO USE THE
503
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,854
MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF DAVID, BUT
504
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,118
HE'S NOT GONNA NOTICE IF I USE
505
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,287
SOME TO TAKE CARE OF ANNIE.
506
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,045
ANNIE IS ALSO MY CHILD, AND SO
507
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,793
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THE
508
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,558
MONEY IS THERE TO TAKE CARE OF
509
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:27,286
HER AND DONNA...AND YOU, TOO.
510
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,404
CALL ME "JONNY BIG BUCKS."
511
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,695
I MAKE THE CALL WHEN IT COMES
512
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,296
TO THE DOUGH.
513
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,529
>> OKAY.
514
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,303
>> Jon: OKAY?
515
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,342
>> OKAY.
516
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,637
>> Jon: [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
517
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,409
I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE A
518
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,538
GRANDDAUGHTER.
519
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,882
I GOT TO CALL CHARLIE.
520
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,206
HE IS GONNA BE SO...
521
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:46,882
>> YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE.
522
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,579
TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE,
523
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,421
PRESS "1."
524
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,176
[ BEEP ]
525
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,023
>> JONNY!
526
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:51,748
CHARLIE!
527
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,821
HOPE THINGS ARE GOOD DOWN THERE
528
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:54,690
IN PHILLY.
529
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,317
DON'T FORGET TO GET A PUMP IN
530
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,593
THERE FOR OLD CHARLIE.
531
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,230
A ONE...A TWO...A --
532
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:02,197
[ MOANS ]
533
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,595
>> SO, IT TURNS OUT YOUR NEW
534
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,999
FRIEND CHARLIE DIDN'T HAVE ANY
535
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,901
FAMILY AT ALL, SO JUST BEFORE HE
536
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,413
DIED, HE UPDATED HIS WILL, AND
537
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,876
HE NAMED YOU THE SOLE HEIR TO
538
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,375
HIS ESTATE.
539
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,607
>> Jon: LIKE WHAT?
540
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,111
HIS DENTURE COLLECTION?
541
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:20,783
>> NO.
542
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,120
BUT HE DID LEAVE YOU HIS CANE --
543
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,746
SOMETHING TO REMEMBER HIM BY --
544
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,351
AS WELL AS THIS BOX OF CLOTHES,
545
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,923
AND THEN, UH, WELL, OTHER THAN
546
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,420
THAT, THE ONLY OTHER THING IN
547
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:33,692
THE ESTATE IS, UH, $3 MILLION.
548
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:34,863
>> Jon: WHAT?
549
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:35,531
>> HOLY [BLEEP]
550
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,298
>> Jon: OH, MY GOD!
551
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,356
>> WELL, THIS HAS GOT TO BE
552
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,434
FAMILIAR TERRITORY TO YOU AT
553
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:38,971
THIS POINT.
554
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:39,525
[ CHUCKLES ]
555
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,732
SOMEBODY DIES, AND THEY LEAVE
556
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,633
YOU ALL THEIR MONEY.
557
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,274
>> Jon: WOW!
558
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,599
THIS IS LIKE CHARLIE HAD HIS OWN
559
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,873
FRIEND COMPETITION AND I'M THE
560
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,911
WINNER.
561
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:46,635
I WIN!
562
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,639
>> WELL...
563
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,880
>> Jon: WHOO!
564
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:49,275
>> YEAH.
565
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,376
I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD THINK
566
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,107
ABOUT IT THAT WAY.
567
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,251
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY, A
568
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:52,775
MAN IS DEAD.
569
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,709
>> JON, YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT
570
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,424
HOW YOU CAN HONOR YOUR GOOD
571
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,046
FRIEND.
572
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,120
>> Jon: YOU'RE RIGHT.
573
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:58,648
>> OKAY.
574
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,091
>> Jon: I REALLY WISH CHARLIE
575
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,487
COULD BE THERE TO MEET MY NEW
576
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:01,988
FAMILY.
577
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,318
>> HE CANNOT DO THAT.
578
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,234
>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
579
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,826
YOU KNOW WHAT?
580
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:11,997
MAYBE HE CAN.
581
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,328
>> NO. I MEAN...
582
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,573
>> Jon: MAYBE HE CAN.
583
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:21,409
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
584
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,408
>> I MEAN, HE CAN'T.
585
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,680
HE CANNOT.
586
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,907
Y-YOU KNOW, HE'S DEAD.
587
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:26,812
HE CAN'T DO IT.
588
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,253
>> Jon: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
589
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:28,748
>> HMM?
590
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,348
>> Jon: THERE MIGHT BE A WAY HE
591
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,850
CAN.
592
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,691
>> THERE'S NO WAY.
593
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:33,745
THERE'S LITERALLY --
594
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:37,193
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
595
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:37,960
>> Jon: THAT'S THEM.
596
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:38,457
THAT'S THEM.
597
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:38,958
THAT'S THEM.
598
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,758
OH, BOY!
599
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,129
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
600
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,258
I'M VERY NERVOUS.
601
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:46,002
VERY NER-- WOW.
602
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,668
>> YOU READY?
603
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,767
HUH?
604
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,199
>> Jon: HI!
605
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,874
LITTLE DONNA!
606
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,282
OHH! COME TO GRAMPSY.
607
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:55,975
HI.
608
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,505
WHERE -- WHERE'S ANNIE?
609
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,281
>> OH! UGH.
610
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,779
SHE GOT A REALLY BAD STOMACH
611
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:01,280
VIRUS.
612
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,821
SHE'S SORRY SHE COULDN'T MAKE
613
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:03,175
IT.
614
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,523
>> Jon: OH. THAT'S OKAY.
615
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,947
MORE TIME FOR GRAMPSY!
616
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,223
OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!
617
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,462
HEY, EVERYBODY.
618
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,527
I WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS
619
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,685
WEEKEND TO MY DEAD BEST FRIEND,
620
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,734
CHARLIE.
621
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,328
HE NEVER GOT TO HAVE HIS OWN
622
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,970
GRANDDAUGHTER, SO MAYBE DONNA
623
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,125
CAN BE HIS HONORARY
624
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,033
GRANDDAUGHTER.
625
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,203
PUT THIS ON, WE'LL GO HAVE
626
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:22,702
SOME FUN?
627
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,802
LET'S DO IT, NEW YORK!
628
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:25,974
HERE WE GO.
629
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,012
CAN YOU GO LIKE THIS?
630
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,006
CAN YOU GO "PFFRT!"
631
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,007
>> PFFRT!
632
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,978
>> Jon: [ LAUGHS ]
633
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,061
>> HEY, LITTLE DONNA.
634
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:46,928
I'M MR. WALRUS.
635
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:47,756
>> Jon: OKAY.
636
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,160
WHO'S READY FOR A NEW YORK
637
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,332
SLICE?
638
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,930
HERE WE GO, EVERYBODY.
639
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,201
GOBBLE UP AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
640
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,400
GO AHEAD AND START 'CAUSE
641
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,701
GRANDPA'S GONNA GO TO TALK TO
642
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:56,602
T.B. OUTSIDE, OKAY?
643
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:57,773
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
644
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,110
>> I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
645
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,835
ENJOY YOUR PIZZA, BOYS AND
646
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,410
GIRLS.
647
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:03,739
>> Jon: THE [BLEEP] YOU DOING
648
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,513
IN THERE, MAN?
649
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:05,751
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
650
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,375
>> Jon: YOU'RE TRYING TO GRANDPA
651
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,020
MY GRANDDAUGHTER -- THAT'S WHAT.
652
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,175
THIS IS MY WEEKEND, T.B.
653
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,254
[ SIGHS ]
654
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,252
STAY OUT OF GRANDPA-TOWN.
655
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,224
THAT'S MY DOMAIN.
656
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,729
>> [ LAUGHS ]
657
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:33,039
[ ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS ]
658
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,009
[ VOLUME INCREASES ]
659
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:41,883
[ GUNSHOT ]
660
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,851
>> [ GASPS ]
661
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,437
>> Jon: CHARLIE, MY MAN.
662
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,895
GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEWS.
663
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,973
I TOOK SOME OF YOUR INHERITANCE
664
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,772
MONEY AND HELPED OUT A VERY
665
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,444
SPECIAL GROUP OF PEOPLE --
666
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,742
BANK-WIRED THEM A MILLION BUCKS
667
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:12,454
TODAY.
668
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,445
SO, UH, THANK YOU, FRIEND.
669
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,147
YOU HELPED MY FAMILY, AND YOU
670
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,578
MIGHT HELP ME GET LAID.
671
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,454
>> JON, LIMO'S FIVE BLOCKS AWAY.
672
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,622
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.
673
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,260
GIVE THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS A
674
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,685
PUMP FOR OLD JONNY, HUH?
675
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:24,960
LET'S DO IT.
676
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,027
[ LAUGHS ]
677
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,795
[ NOTE PLAYS ]
678
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:30,926
[ HORN HONKS ]
679
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,100
THINK SHE'S GOING TO LIKE THIS
680
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:32,498
T-SHIRT?
681
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:33,629
>> SHE'S GONNA LOVE IT, YEAH.
682
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,673
>> Jon: SHOULD I GET A NEW
683
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,097
DESIGN?
684
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,201
>> TRY AND SURPRISE YOURSELF.
685
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:36,802
>> Jon: OKAY.
686
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,513
>> OKAY. GOT IT.
687
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,105
JON...YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU
688
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,866
THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO GRANDPA
689
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,114
YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER?
690
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,779
>> Jon: T.B., WATER UNDER THE
691
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,377
BRIDGE.
692
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,478
I'M COOL WITH IT.
693
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,009
>> I WAS TRYING TO GRANDPA HER.
694
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,554
>> Jon: I [BLEEP] KNEW IT, MAN!
695
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:50,649
YOU [BLEEP] ASSHOLE!
696
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,550
>> FOR A REASON.
697
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,291
I WAS TRYING TO GET A DNA
698
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:53,986
SAMPLE.
699
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,816
IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT YOUR
700
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:56,892
GRANDDAUGHTER.
701
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,359
THE FBI JUST RAIDED THE HOUSE.
702
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,658
THERE'S NOTHING THERE BUT A
703
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:00,889
METH LAB IN THE BASEMENT.
704
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,503
THERE WASN'T EVEN AN ANNIE.
705
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,127
>> Jon: ANNIE'S DEAD?
706
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,172
>> NO, JON.
707
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,296
>> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?
708
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,172
WHERE'S ANNIE, T.B.?!
709
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,299
WHAT -- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
710
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:11,844
IS SHE GONE?
711
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:12,908
ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND HER?
712
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:13,905
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S --
713
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,336
>> JON!
714
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:15,511
>> Jon: WHERE IS ANNIE, T.B.?!
715
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:15,908
>> JON!
716
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,138
THERE IS NO ANNIE.
717
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:19,914
THEY USED YOU.
718
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,682
I AM SO SORRY TO BE THE
719
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,721
MESSENGER OF BAD NEWS, JON.
720
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:24,716
>> Jon: OH!
721
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:29,817
[ HORN HONKS ]
722
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,792
[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]
723
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,598
I'M GONNA TAKE ONE LAST RIDE
724
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,573
WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER.
725
00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:52,241
>> HEY, NEW YORK.
726
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,284
HOW WE DOING OUT THERE?
727
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:54,379
THIS IS BIG KEV OVER AT
728
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:55,681
90.1, WXEN -- THE BLIZZ, AND,
729
00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:56,852
UH, WELL, WE JUST GOT SOME
730
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,079
TERRIBLE NEWS THAT CAME, UH,
731
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,354
CAME THROUGH THE HORN HERE.
732
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,622
JON FROM "DELOCATED," THE GUY
733
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:01,920
TRYING TO DO THAT BEST FRIEND
734
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,191
CONTEST, GOT A TOUGH LOAD OF
735
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,389
NEWS THAT FELL IN HIS LAP.
736
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:05,561
THOUGHT HE HAD A DAUGHTER AND
737
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,788
A GRANDDAUGHTER -- TURNS OUT IT
738
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:07,533
WAS ALL A SCAM.
739
00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:08,727
THEY WERE METH HEADS, AND, UH,
740
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:09,928
OH, BOY, THAT'S A TOUGH BREAK,
741
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:10,929
BUT HANG IN THERE, BUDDY.
742
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,030
ANOTHER DAY'S COMING AROUND
743
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:12,571
THE PIKE.
744
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:13,725
THE SUN'S STILL GONNA COME UP
745
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:14,773
BUT, GOD DAMN IT, THAT'S A
746
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:15,567
TOUGH ONE ANYWAY.
747
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,538
YOU GOT 90.1 -- THE BLIZZ!
44563
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