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>> Jon: [ Distorted ] MY NAME'S
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JON.
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I'M IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION
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PROGRAM.
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I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.
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THE RUSSIAN MOB WANTS ME DEAD,
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BUT, HEY, THIS COOL, SINGLE
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DAD'S STILL GOT TO LIVE LIFE.
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OWW!
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PREVIOUSLY ON "DELOCATED!"...
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I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT
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I WOULD NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN.
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YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY A
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PROMISE-BREAKER, RIGHT?
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>> WELL, THEN, I GUESS IT'S
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OVER.
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>> WE'VE DECIDED TO MAKE YOU AN
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HONORARY MEMBER OF THE
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[BLEEP] UP COMMITTEE.
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THAT'S TWO STRIKES, ROB.
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[ GUNSHOT ]
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ROB, THAT'S THREE STRIKES.
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YOU'RE OUT.
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>> THE GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED TO
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SUBCONTRACT OUT THE DOMESTIC
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SECURITY DIVISION.
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>> Jon: TATIANA, WELCOME TO WHAT
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WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY SWEET
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LOFT.
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>> Susan: BEING MARRIED TO JON
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WAS QUITE A CHORE.
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>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT, SUSAN?
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[BLEEP] YOU.
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>> FIRST YOU KILL THE SOUL, THEN
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YOU KILL THE MAN.
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>> JON!
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SUSAN'S BEEN SHOT.
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SHE'S DEAD.
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>> Jon: I JUST -- I CAN'T
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BELIEVE SHE'S GONE.
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IT WAS HARD.
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I WILL SAY THAT.
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IT WAS REALLY -- IT WAS, UH --
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THE FUNERAL WAS TOUGH.
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[ SIGHS ]
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ANYWAY, THIS BEHEMOTH BEHIND ME
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IS T.B.
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UNCLE SAM NEEDED A LITTLE HELP
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IN THE OLD POCKEYBOOK, AND, UH,
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HEY, THAT WAS GOOD FOR ME.
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I ENDED UP WITH A BADASS
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BLACKWATER-TYPE DUDE.
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>> THE HUMAN PYRAMID AT
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ABU GHRAIB WAS MY DESIGN.
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>> REALLY?
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>> Jon: YEAH.
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>> DID THEY HAVE TO BE NAKED?
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[ LAUGHS ]
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OH.
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I GUESS -- YEAH, I GUESS THEY
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DID.
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JON, WHY DON'T WE ACTUALLY JUST
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GO OVER SUSAN'S LIFE-INSURANCE
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POLICY, OKAY?
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>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.
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>> FOR $5 MILLION.
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>> Jon: $5 -- $5 MILLION?
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>> YEAH.
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>> Jon: SO -- SO, I'M A
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MILLIONAIRE NOW?
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>> WELL, DAVID WOULD BE THE
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MILLIONAIRE.
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>> Jon: RIGHT.
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>> YOU ARE THE CUSTODIAN OF THE
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MONEY FOR THE TIME BEING.
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>> Jon: SO, IT'S DAVID'S MONEY,
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BUT I SORT OF RUN IT?
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>> THAT'S CORRECT.
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>> Jon: SO, IT IS OUR MONEY?
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>> OH, SUSAN LEFT SOMETHING FOR
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YOU.
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>> Jon: I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT
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IS.
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[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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I DON'T KNOW IF I EVER TOLD YOU
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THE STORY, BUT, UM, WHEN YOUR
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MOM AND I FIRST WENT OUT ON OUR
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FIRST DATE, SHE WAS COLD AND I
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BOUGHT HER A SCARF.
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SHE KEPT IT FOREVER, AND I --
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IT'S NOT THE SCARF.
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I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
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WE WENT TO THIS BURRITO PLACE
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THAT NIGHT.
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FROM THE VENDING MACHINE, I GOT
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HER THIS RING.
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YEP.
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I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD FEELING,
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THOUGH, THERE IS GONNA BE A RING
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RIGHT IN HERE.
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SO, UH, YOU'LL LET US KNOW WHEN,
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UH -- WHEN THAT MONEY IS, UH,
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WIRED THROUGH, YEAH?
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WE'RE ALL SET TO GO?
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>> Jon: FIRST MIGHTY JOE JON,
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THEN SUSAN.
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I MEAN, WHO'S NEXT -- YOU?
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>> HELLO, JON. HI, DAVID.
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>> David: HI.
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>> I'M SUSAN SHAPIRO.
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I'M PRESIDENT OF THE NETWORK,
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AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR POINT
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PERSON ON "DELOCATED!"
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HOW ARE YOU?
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>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON ONE
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SECOND.
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YOUR NAME IS SUSAN?
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>> YES, I KNOW.
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I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR DEAD
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EX-WIFE.
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>> Jon: YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA BE
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ABLE TO CALL YOU THAT...
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FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
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SO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH
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SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
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I WOULD SUGGEST WE GO WITH YOUR
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LAST NAME.
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IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT, I CAN
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JUST CALL YOU "SHAPIRO."
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WE CAN DO A NICKNAME IF YOU
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PREFER -- MAYBE "SHAPS"?
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MAYBE "SHAPPY"?
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WE CAN GO "SHAP ATTACK"?
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>> I DON'T REALLY LIKE THAT.
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>> Jon: * SHAP ATTACK ON THE
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MOVE *
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* COME ON
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* CHICK-A DOWN DOWN DOWN
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* SHAP ATTACK
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* SHAP ATTACK IS ON THE SCENE
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* SHAP ATTACK
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>> LET'S NOT FORGET THAT "SUSAN"
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WAS THE NAME ASSIGNED BY THE
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GOVERNMENT FOR THE TELEVISION
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SHOW, SO MAYBE YOU COULD JUST
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CONCENTRATE ON HER REAL NAME.
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[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> Jon: OKAY. YOU'RE RIGHT.
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[ SIGHS ]
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UM...
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>> David: DAD, YOU -- YOU DO
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REMEMBER MOM'S NAME, RIGHT?
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>> Jon: ARE YOU IMPLYING I
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DON'T KNOW HER NAME?
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[ SIGHS ]
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OH, MY GOD.
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HOME SWEET LOFT, HUH, DAVID?
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[ LAUGHS ]
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HOMEWORK.
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LITTLE MATH.
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THAT WAS ONE OF MY TOP-5 SUBS.
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YEAH, YOU WANT TO CARRY THE 9.
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>> David: NO, DAD.
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IT'S FINE AS IT IS.
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>> Jon: YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE
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THAT'S WRONG.
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>> David: DAD, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
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CARRY THE 9.
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IT'S FINE.
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>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.
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DON'T BLAME ME WHEN YOU GET A
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"G."
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>> David: WHAT'S A "G"?
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>> Jon: UH, "G" IS ONE WORSE
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THAN "F."
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>> David: DAD, THERE'S NO SUCH
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THING AS A "G."
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>> Jon: WELL, MAYBE YOU NEED TO
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SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME ON MATH
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AND A LITTLE LESS TIME
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MEMORIZING THE GRADING SYSTEM,
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OKAY?
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>> David: DAD, IT'S FINE.
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>> Jon: OKAY.
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NO PROBLEM, FINESTEIN.
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>> David: DON'T YOU MEAN
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"EINSTEIN"?
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>> Jon: NO, I MEAN "FINESTEIN."
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HE WAS THE GUY THAT WORKED WITH
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EINSTEIN, BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT
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'CAUSE HE THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS
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FINE!
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THINK I DON'T KNOW MATH?
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THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CARRY
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A 9?
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[ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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[ SIGHS ]
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I'M SO SORRY, SUSAN.
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IT'S OKAY, JON.
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[ MOANS ]
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JON, STOP IT.
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STOP.
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JON, NO.
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JON!
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IT'S NOT RIGHT.
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OOH, IT IS RIGHT.
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[ MOANS ]
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YEAH.
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UNZIP ME, JON.
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YEAH.
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OH, GOD.
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YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA.
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UNZIP ME, SUSAN.
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HURRY.
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OH, YEAH.
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[ MOANS ]
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>> BURRITOS ARE HERE.
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GOOD NEWS -- THEY PUT AN EXTRA
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ONE IN BY ACCIDENT.
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OH.
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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
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UM...
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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GOOD.
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WHAT'D THEY GIVE US?
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>> THERE'S AN EXTRA BEAN AND
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CHEESE BURRITO.
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>> Jon: OH, YEAH, COOL.
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YOU WANT THAT ONE, OR YOU -- YOU
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WANT TO TAKE THAT ONE?
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WHY DON'T YOU EAT IT?
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>> NO. YOU KNOW ME.
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I'LL TAKE WHATEVER'S LEFT OVER.
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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
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UM...
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SORRY.
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I'M SORRY YOU SAW THIS.
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>> NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
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EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN WAY OF
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GRIEVING.
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>> Jon: THANK YOU.
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>> YOU NEED SOME HELP?
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YOU COULD CLOSE YOUR EYES AND
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PRETEND THIS IS SUSAN'S HAND.
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IT'S NOT A SEXUAL THING.
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IT'S A WARRIOR THING.
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>> Jon: YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.
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I WOULD RATHER DO THIS, UH, I
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THINK, ON MY OWN.
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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>> LABEL DESIGN IS CRUCIAL.
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THIS NAME, "KNOCK, KNOCK.
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WHO'S THERE? VODKA" -- WHAT DOES
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THAT MEAN TO YOU?
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>> IT'S FROM MY TIME AS A
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STAND-UP COMEDIAN.
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"KNOCK, KNOCK" JOKE.
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YOU KNOW -- "KNOCK, KNOCK."
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"WHO'S THERE?"
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"MOSCOW."
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"MOSCOW WHO?"
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"'MA'S COW' DIED.
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I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO EAT OUR
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CEREAL WITH VODKA."
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>> [ LAUGHS ]
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>> OKAY. GREAT.
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WE WILL MOCK UP SOME DESIGNS AND
268
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,085
GET BACK TO YOU ASAP.
269
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,586
TRISH, IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY
270
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:35,888
VALIDATE MR. MIRMINSKY'S
271
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,259
PARKING AND SHOW HIM OUT.
272
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:40,557
THANK YOU.
273
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,701
>> ARE YOU A DESIGNER HERE?
274
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,396
>> NO. I'M AN INTERN.
275
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,397
I'M TRISH.
276
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,098
>> OH, PLEASE, TRISH, CALL ME
277
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:47,700
"YVGENY."
278
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,241
>> OH.
279
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:48,995
[ LAUGHS ]
280
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,742
OKAY.
281
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,408
I LOVE THAT JOKE.
282
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,205
BUT HOW DID MA'S COW DIE?
283
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,177
>> WELL, IT HELPS IF YOU KNOW
284
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:56,906
RUSSIAN.
285
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,750
I COULD TEACH YOU SOME WORDS
286
00:07:58,746 --> 00:07:59,546
SOMETIME.
287
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,207
>> OH, YEAH.
288
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,213
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
289
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,224
>> I WOULD LOVE THAT.
290
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,445
YEAH. WHEREVER YOU WANT.
291
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,920
>> I WOULD TEACH THEM ALL OVER
292
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:05,288
YOU.
293
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:05,885
>> YEAH.
294
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:06,516
>> TO YOU.
295
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,490
[ LAUGHS ]
296
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,293
>> Jon: I JUST WANTED TO HAVE
297
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:14,391
ANOTHER MEETING BECAUSE DAVID...
298
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,564
[ SIGHS ]
299
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,463
HAS BEEN HAVING A VERY TOUGH
300
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,033
TIME DEALING WITH SUSAN'S DEATH.
301
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,632
AND I AM WONDERING AND HOPING
302
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,244
THAT MAYBE YOU KNOW OF A GOOD
303
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,395
COUNSELOR OR THERAPIST THAT YOU
304
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,243
CAN RECOMMEND FOR HIM.
305
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,267
>> David: YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY
306
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:25,872
TOTALLY FINE.
307
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:26,573
>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
308
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:27,644
>> David: I'M NOT THE ONE WHO
309
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,581
TRIED TO GIVE MYSELF A HANDJOB
310
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:30,577
WITH A DRESS.
311
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:31,478
>> ALL RIGHTY.
312
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,748
I DO KNOW SOMEONE.
313
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,146
HE'S A LIFE-ENHANCEMENT COACH,
314
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,617
AND I THINK HE'D BE GOOD TO TALK
315
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,316
TO.
316
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,476
HE CAME IN AND HELPED US WHEN
317
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:38,294
OUR LEAD ACTOR IN
318
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:39,545
"ATTITUDE STOOL" HAD SOME ACTUAL
319
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,653
PROBLEMS WITH HIS ATTITUDE.
320
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,064
SO, I'M GONNA GIVE HIM A CALL.
321
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,155
WE'LL SET SOMETHING UP.
322
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,416
>> Jon: GREAT. YOU EXCITED?
323
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,634
A LIFE-ENHANCEMENT COACH.
324
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,926
WHAT DO YOU SAY, SAD POOPER?
325
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,458
ARE YOU READY TO BE ENHANCED?
326
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,833
YOU KNOW, IF WE PUT A FLAT
327
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,472
SCREEN ON THE CEILING, WE COULD
328
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,836
JUST WATCH TV LIKE THIS.
329
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:56,566
>> HE'S HERE.
330
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:57,440
>> Jon: COME ON.
331
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,307
COME ON. COME ON.
332
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,435
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
333
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,909
[ MID-TEMPO INDIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
334
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,848
>> WHERE'S THE CENTER OF THIS
335
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:10,280
ROOM?
336
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,453
>> Jon: UM, I DON'T KNOW
337
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:11,991
EXACTLY.
338
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:12,415
UH...
339
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,889
>> SHH!
340
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,132
JON AND DAVID WILL BEGIN THEIR
341
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:27,839
NEW LIVES FROM HERE...
342
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,935
LIKE A PEBBLE DROPPED INTO A
343
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,038
POND, RIPPLING OUTWARD.
344
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:37,281
THINK OF THE NEW EXPERIENCES.
345
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,647
THE JOY!
346
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:39,546
THE HURT!
347
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,346
[ Laughing ] THE LAUGHTER!
348
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,848
>> Jon: [ LAUGHS ]
349
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:43,520
>> THE PAIN.
350
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,316
>> Jon: OHH.
351
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,048
>> THE LOVE.
352
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,494
JON, DAVID...
353
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,989
T.B.
354
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,131
I'M THE GLAZE.
355
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,496
I'M SO SORRY ABOUT SUSAN.
356
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,465
>> Jon: THANK YOU FOR SAYING SO.
357
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,825
>> I UNDERSTAND A CERTAIN
358
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,374
SOMEONE IS HAVING TROUBLE
359
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,799
DEALING WITH THE LOSS.
360
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:04,714
>> Jon: YEAH.
361
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,405
DAVID'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME.
362
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,806
>> AND I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE HAD
363
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,138
TROUBLE REMEMBERING HER NAME.
364
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:09,812
>> Jon: YES.
365
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,040
>> SHH!
366
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,754
JON, DAVID IS VULNERABLE RIGHT
367
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:14,477
NOW.
368
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,551
HE NEEDS HIS MOTHER.
369
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,990
>> Jon: HIS MOTHER IS DEA--
370
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:19,986
>> SHH.
371
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:23,017
BUT HER ENERGY IS STILL HERE --
372
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,663
INSIDE OF YOU.
373
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,998
YOU NEED TO CHANNEL THAT ENERGY,
374
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,155
REROUTE IT, AND BE BOTH FATHER
375
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:38,114
AND MOTHER TO DAVID.
376
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,835
CAN I SEE THE DRESS THAT YOU
377
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,780
CREAMED YOURSELF WITH?
378
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,402
>> Jon: THERE'S ORANGE SLICES IN
379
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:06,799
HERE.
380
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,470
PLEASE DO NOT TRADE THEM.
381
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,799
>> David: HOW LONG ARE WE DOING
382
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:11,244
THIS?
383
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,608
>> HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES, DAVID.
384
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:13,735
WE DON'T WANT TO ASSIGN A
385
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,411
TIMELINE TO YOUR HEALING.
386
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,278
ON DAYS OF THE WEEK THAT YOU
387
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,277
USED TO SPEND WITH YOUR MOTHER,
388
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,209
I WANT YOU TO THINK OF HIM AS
389
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,724
"MOM."
390
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,976
>> Jon: YES, AND ON WEEKENDS,
391
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:24,654
I'LL BE DAD.
392
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,051
>> JON AND I HAVE DISCUSSED THE
393
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,163
POSSIBILITY OF HIM GETTING A
394
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,485
LITTLE TATTOO OF A VAGINA RIGHT
395
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,660
NEXT TO HIS PENIS -- WHATEVER
396
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,229
WILL HELP YOU VISUALIZE HIM AS
397
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:34,757
MOTHER.
398
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,402
>> David: YEAH, THAT WILL NOT BE
399
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,326
NECESSARY AT ALL.
400
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,970
>> Jon: WELL, HAVE A GOOD DAY AT
401
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,596
SCHOOL.
402
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,501
>> DAVID'S COMING DOWN.
403
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,073
[ RADIO CHATTER ]
404
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,142
>> Jon: WELL, I GUESS HE'S AT
405
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,109
THAT AGE.
406
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,238
DOESN'T WANT TO KISS HIS MOM.
407
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,812
[ CHUCKLES ]
408
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,151
[ SIGHS ]
409
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,075
IT WOULD BE NICE IF HE THANKED
410
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,010
ME FOR THE LUNCH I MADE, THOUGH.
411
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,654
>> DON'T MAKE THIS ALL ABOUT
412
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:56,618
YOUR KIDS, JON.
413
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,286
IT'S THE BIGGEST MISTAKE MOMS
414
00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,515
MAKE.
415
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,319
SUSAN HAD A LIFE OUTSIDE THIS
416
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:01,861
HOME.
417
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,955
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT
418
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,686
THAT, HMM?
419
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,430
>> Jon: WHAT, LIKE A MOM'S DAY
420
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:06,455
OUT OR SOMETHING?
421
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,259
>> EXACTLY!
422
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:10,260
TAKE TIME TO PAMPER YOURSELF.
423
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,973
LOOK AFTER MOM FOR ONCE.
424
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,266
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
425
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,667
>> * MOM'S DAY OUT
426
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,468
* MOM'S DAY OUT
427
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,211
* TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
428
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,207
* TIME FOR PAMPERING, NOT FOR
429
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,139
DOUBTS *
430
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,053
* LEAVE YOUR WORRIES ON THE
431
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:25,875
SHELF *
432
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,719
* MOM'S DAY OUT
433
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,175
* MOM'S DAY OUT
434
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,564
>> MY PAPA -- HE DOESN'T THINK
435
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:36,785
I'M MAN ENOUGH TO START MY OWN
436
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,860
BUSINESS.
437
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,189
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I AM A MAN!
438
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,063
>> YOU'RE TOTALLY...
439
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:41,731
>> I AM A MAN!
440
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:42,698
>> YOU'RE SUCH A MAN.
441
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,625
[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]
442
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,560
>> UGH, HOLD ON.
443
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,204
[ BEEP ]
444
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:45,668
DA!
445
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,325
>> Yvgeny, where are you?
446
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,344
Papa give go-ahead to kill Jon.
447
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,836
We're heading out no--
448
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:51,568
[ BEEP ]
449
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,671
>> IT'S ONE OF MY MEN ASKING FOR
450
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,513
PERMISSION TO KILL SOME GUY.
451
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,838
I'LL CALL HIM BACK.
452
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:57,684
[ LAUGHS ]
453
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,247
>> POWER IS SO SEXY.
454
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,977
>> I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
455
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:02,582
>> WHAT?
456
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,822
>> I HAVE TO TELL YOU
457
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:04,517
SOMETHING.
458
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,087
>> YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX
459
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:06,716
WITH ME?
460
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:07,219
>> NO.
461
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,520
I AM A VIRGIN!
462
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,861
>> YOU ARE?
463
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,517
>> Jon: [ Slurring ] LOOK HOW --
464
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,094
LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THE CITY IS
465
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:13,933
THIS EVENING.
466
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,257
IT'S THE BIG APPLE!
467
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,262
>> LOOK, JON, IT'S BEEN A LONG
468
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:17,764
DAY.
469
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:18,934
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD GO
470
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,672
FOR RIGHT ABOUT NOW?
471
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,097
I WANT SUSAN'S HAND.
472
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:23,903
COME ON.
473
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,744
WHICH ONE IS SUSAN'S HAND?
474
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:26,538
COME ON.
475
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,609
YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING, T.B.?
476
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,008
YOU WATCHING WHAT'S HAPPENED?
477
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,340
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
478
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,384
OH.
479
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,380
STUPID DRESS!
480
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,281
[ COUGHING ]
481
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,522
>> YOU ALL RIGHT?
482
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:40,746
>> Jon: TOO MUCH PINOT GRIGIO!
483
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,523
YOU THINK I'M SEXY IN SUSAN'S
484
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,022
BODY?
485
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:46,433
[ HUMMING ]
486
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,856
* SEXY BODY
487
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,062
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?
488
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,033
YOU LOOK AT ME.
489
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,131
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
490
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:52,772
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
491
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,235
>> JON, GET DOWN!
492
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,306
>> HEY, GET A ROOM, FREAKS!
493
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,565
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
494
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,212
>> Jon: I GOT TO THROW UP.
495
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,079
>> SO, YOU HAD A LITTLE SCARE
496
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,077
FROM THE BAD GUYS, AND IT SHOOK
497
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,149
YOU UP.
498
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,048
>> Jon: NO.
499
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,549
WHAT SHOOK ME UP WAS T.B.
500
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,120
OVERREACTING TO NOTHING.
501
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,489
>> WOULD YOU RATHER BE DEAD?
502
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,716
>> Jon: YOU DO THE MATH.
503
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,161
>> JON, THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO
504
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,456
CALL A LIFE-TINI.
505
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,759
TAKE IT.
506
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,501
NO, YOU DON'T DRINK IT!
507
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,966
LIFT UP YOUR NOSE FLAP.
508
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,301
>> Jon: OH.
509
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,573
>> YEAH.
510
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,341
BREATHE IT IN.
511
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,610
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
512
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,478
GOOD BOY.
513
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,836
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
514
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,014
NOW, WE'VE CLEARLY HELPED CURE
515
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:40,683
DAVID.
516
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,420
BUT THERE'S STILL ONE PERSON
517
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,016
WHOSE FEAR IS DEVOURING HIS
518
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:46,849
SOUL.
519
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,993
AND IF HE DOESN'T HELP HIMSELF
520
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,119
QUICKLY -- CONFRONT THIS THING
521
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,094
HEAD-ON -- THEN IT'S ONLY A
522
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,303
MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE BEGINS
523
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,325
HIS SWIFT DESCENT INTO COMPLETE
524
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,131
MADNESS.
525
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,972
>> Jon: YEAH, T.B.'S PRETTY
526
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,138
TIGHTLY WOUND.
527
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,295
>> NO, NOT T.B.
528
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,543
>> Jon: WE HAVE TO HELP DAVID A
529
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,137
LITTLE MORE?
530
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:09,638
>> NO! YOU.
531
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,982
YEAH.
532
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,209
>> Jon: MY GOD.
533
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,383
>> MM-HMM.
534
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,323
>> Jon: OH, MY GOD.
535
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,718
YOU'RE RIGHT.
536
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,890
I-I HAVE TO SELL THIS LOFT.
537
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,189
IT -- IT'S TOO PAINFUL FOR ME TO
538
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,132
STAY HERE.
539
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,826
IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY --
540
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,958
ME!
541
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:30,903
>> YES!
542
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,167
NOW, THAT'S THE JON I'VE BEEN
543
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,125
WAITING TO HEAR FROM.
544
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,403
>> Jon: I MEAN, DON'T -- DON'T
545
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,041
GET ME WRONG.
546
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,395
I'M HAPPY TO HAVE MY SWEET LOFT,
547
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,013
FINALLY, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE
548
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,005
OF SUSAN'S DEATH.
549
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:39,506
>> NO!
550
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,006
I'VE JUST BEEN TALKING TO THE
551
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,538
JON THAT'S IN HERE!
552
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,842
AND NOW I'M TALKING TO THE JON
553
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:44,543
THAT'S UP HERE!
554
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,554
WHAT HAPPENED?!
555
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,505
>> Jon: WHAT?
556
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,013
>> SHH!
557
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,224
I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!
558
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,017
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
559
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,189
I'LL WORK WITH YOU FOR A
560
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,817
ONE-YEAR MINIMUM.
561
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,832
$50,000 A MONTH.
562
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,985
I'LL BE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A
563
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,234
DAY.
564
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,569
BUT DON'T YOU ANSWER ME HERE.
565
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:11,735
I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME...
566
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:15,578
HERE.
567
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,335
>> Jon: OKAY.
568
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:16,883
>> OKAY.
569
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:17,606
>> Jon: GOOD.
570
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:18,180
>> GOOD!
571
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:18,848
>> Jon: YES.
572
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:19,405
>> RIGHT.
573
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,882
I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT YOUR
574
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,080
OVERALL PEACE OF MIND AS A
575
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,583
MENTAL TRIANGLE.
576
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,724
YOU'VE GOT YOUR FINANCIAL
577
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:30,019
SECURITY WITH THE MONEY.
578
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,033
YOU'VE GOT YOUR MENTAL SECURITY
579
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,086
WITH ME.
580
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,434
NOW HOW DO WE GO ABOUT FINDING A
581
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,699
PLACE FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY ABOUT
582
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:42,298
YOUR PHYSICAL SECURITY?
583
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,402
>> Jon: LOOK, T.B., I'M COOL
584
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,444
WITH YOU BEING MY BODYGUARD,
585
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:46,939
OKAY?
586
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:47,409
I AM.
587
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,737
I JUST FEEL LIKE I NEED
588
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:49,781
SOMETHING EXTRA.
589
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,436
>> NOW, YOU KNOW I CAN'T GO IN
590
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,414
THERE WITH YOU.
591
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,282
>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
592
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:53,750
I KNOW.
593
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:56,246
>> JON, I'M WARNING YOU.
594
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,749
ONCE YOU STEP FOOT IN THERE,
595
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,050
THERE'S NO GOING BACK.
596
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,822
>> HE SAY MOST INTRIGUING OFFER.
597
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,448
BUT MIRMINSKY SON VERY STRONG.
598
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,694
WHAT IS YOUR QUARREL?
599
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,158
>> Jon: HE KILLED MY EX-WIFE.
600
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,474
>> HE SAY SITUATION DELICATE.
601
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,543
OUR FAMILY CANNOT MOVE WITHOUT
602
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,512
PROVOCATION.
603
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,609
OUR AGREEMENT MUST BE SECRET OR
604
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:02,851
DEAL IS OFF.
605
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:05,049
>> Jon: TELL HIM...
606
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,951
I AGREE...
607
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:11,023
AND I HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR THE
608
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:14,593
WANG CHO FAMILY AND GANG.
609
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,569
>> HE SAY YOUR WIFE WILL BE
610
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,641
AVENGED.
611
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:30,909
>> Jon: HOW DO YOU SAY "WALL" IN
612
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,980
CHINESE?
613
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,179
>> "CHONG."
614
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,482
>> Jon: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
615
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,524
CHONG. CHONG.
616
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,918
FOR YOUR CHONG. HUH?
617
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,019
FOR THE CHONG.
618
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,521
>> [ GRUNTING ]
619
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,363
>> SUPER FUN.
620
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,987
LOOK AT YOU GO!
621
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,262
>> GET DRESSED, YVGENY.
622
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,431
PAPA'S BEEN KILLED.
623
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:53,099
>> OH, NO!
624
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:56,839
[ CRYING ]
625
00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,706
I AM A MAN NOW, PAPA!
626
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:04,437
[ CRYING CONTINUES ]
627
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,354
I'M A MAN!
628
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,446
>> JON...
629
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,019
THROW THE PEBBLE INTO THE
630
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,518
BURNING POND.
631
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,290
I'M HERE, JON, TO HELP GUIDE YOU
632
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:21,029
THROUGH ALL YOUR LIFE'S RIPPLES.
633
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,797
>> Jon: LIPPLES.
634
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:23,925
>> WHAT?
635
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,030
>> Jon: LIFE'S RIPPLES --
636
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,732
LIPPLES.
637
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,304
>> YES.
638
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,302
LIPPLES.
639
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,214
>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
640
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:37,877
LET THE LIPPLES BEGIN!
641
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,150
OH, MY GOD.
642
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:47,819
OH, BOY.
643
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,160
HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE?
644
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,985
>> PATRIARCH OF MIRMINSKY FAMILY
645
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:54,430
DIE IN PRISON.
646
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,927
POOR OLD MAN HAVE
647
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:59,128
SLIPSY-WHOOPSIE IN THE SHOWER.
648
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,501
>> Jon: I WANTED SERGEI DEAD,
649
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,300
NOT THE FATHER!
650
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,801
>> TO KILL DRAGON, YOU SEVER THE
651
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,102
HEAD, NOT THE ARM.
652
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,974
YOU PAID FOR BLOOD, AND NOW THE
653
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,813
DEBT WE SHARESY-WARESY.
654
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,979
IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD CONSIDER
655
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,848
PAYING ANOTHER MILLION FOR
656
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,016
PROTECTION IN THE WAKE OF THESE
657
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:21,245
EVENTS.
658
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:25,494
IS THAT A VAGINA?
659
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:26,932
>> Jon: YEAH.
660
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,526
IT'S MY DEAD EX-WIFE'S BEAV.
661
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,629
>> [ INHALES DEEPLY ]
662
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,631
SMELLS DELICIOUS.
663
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,635
>> JON MUST DIE.
664
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,937
NOW THAT YOUR PAPA IS DEAD, WHY
665
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:40,609
WAIT?
666
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,837
>> JON WILL DRIVE WANG CHOS
667
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,382
CUCKOO-BANANAS UNTIL THEY SCREAM
668
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,848
FOR HIS RELEASE.
669
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,206
THEN WE STRIKE!
670
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,454
THIS IS HOW WE HONOR PAPA'S
671
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,720
MEMORY -- THE DESTRUCTION OF
672
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,949
WANG CHOS, THEN JON!
673
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,624
IF YOU DO NOT LIKE NEW PLAN,
674
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,194
TAKE IT UP WITH NEW HEAD OF
675
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,662
MIRMINSKY FAMILY.
676
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:07,303
[ LIVELY RUSSIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
677
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:11,800
>> * YOU'RE GONE FOREVER
678
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,044
* IT'S VERY HARD TO SAY
679
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,680
GOODBYE *
680
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:20,146
* BUT WHEN THE MOB UP AND KILLS
681
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:21,176
YOU *
682
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:27,250
* WHAT CAN YOU DO BUT CRY
683
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:30,723
* FOR SUSAN?
684
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,693
* FOR SUSAN
41011
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