Original subtitles

Hey, Wratherheads!

We've got a challenging one for you today.

Would you rather crawl on the ground for one whole day

or not touch the ground for three?

Oh! Okay.

Yee-haw! You're my pony.

Guess we know what Ollie wants.

It looks like the Wratherheads agree.

No touching the ground for three days.

To the kitchen. I smell corn dogs.

-[bell rings] -Hi, all!

Or maybe it was Fred.

Cooper, Cami, Ollie,

may I present Lady Fredwina.

Fred, we're in the middle of a livestream.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Wratherheads, may I present to you Lady Fredwina.

You're probably wondering why I named her that.

Nope. Not a single person.

So, what do you think?

I saved my allowance for two years to buy this speedster.

Is there any way we can get that thing out of here?

-It's just a bike. -I was talking about Fred.

We were just leaving, anyway. Lady coming through.

-[Ollie] Help! -[body thuds]

Game over. He hit the ground.

[Ollie] Nope. I hit the vacuum.

-To the corn dogs! -[whirring]

[theme music playing]

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch? ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on Wratherheads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

♪ Ask the world Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ No matter what we do We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

What I've always liked about archery

is that it's so sophisticated, it's civilized.

Miss it, you pipsqueak!

[spectators groan]

You! Out!

Fine! I'm leaving.

My boyfriend's waiting for me in the car anyway.

Ooh! Cami's next.

It's nice that someone in the family

was able to follow in my archer's footsteps.

The stringy thing hurt my fingers.

I, too, was born with delicate digits,

thus stalling my once promising banjo career.

So glad you guys came.

Cooper. Neve's here. Am I glowing?

-You're sweating. -I'll take it.

Hey Fred, how's it going?

Hello. Hi. Hello.

Oh, okay.

Bye!

What was that?

Did it look flirty and casual?

No.

[sighs] I'm new at this couple thing.

I don't know what to talk about with Neve.

Next up, Cami Wrather.

She's only six bull's-eyes away from breaking the school record.

You're a winner, pumpkin!

I'm sure your kids are all special in their own unique ways, it's just--

-Mom! -Sitting down.

-[applause] -Whoo!

Whoo-hoo! Another perfect round. You're the best!

And, again, by best, I simply mean she has the better score,

it's not that your kids are losers--

[whistle tweets]

I will wait for you guys in the car.

Just three more bull's-eyes to 36 and you'll break the record.

And I get my name in the trophy case.

Trophy case? You haven't broken the record, yet.

Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?

Aren't you getting a little tired of being up in her business?

Oh, my gosh, you scared me.

I thought you were just part of the wall.

I'm looking forward to watching you fail.

Well, we're looking forward to watching you mail.

A letter.

Burn!

Thirty-six bull's-eyes!

Get your Cami T-shirts before she breaks the record!

Have you seen yourself from the back?

I try to once a day.

The shirt, Cooper.

"Let's go Camel"?

-Camel? -I assume you mean Cami.

Of course I meant Cami!

Stupid autocorrect.

Who's gonna want one of these now?

Unless we convince Cami it's a super cool nickname.

Beware of the camel.

Shoot, that is cool.

Now I want that nickname.

Is anyone looking?

No, why?

Charlotte! Aren't these supposed to be two per customer? Supposed to be.

We are so bad.

I know. We're like gangsters.

So, are you excited for our historic walking tour of North Plains tomorrow?

Is a rhombus made of two isosceles triangles?

I can't wait.

Now, go. Get out of here before Johnny Law comes poking around.

Charlotte, got a sec?

The camel needs some help.

What?

What you and Caleb have, magic.

We are really getting along.

In fact, my life couldn't be more perfect.

Someone yakked on the ice again.

Your turn.

Gotta go. The trick is to get it before it freezes.

Wait! I need advice.

Things are starting to get weird with Neve.

I never know what to talk about with her.

Been there. I used to get awkward around Caleb

-because he's so cool. -[Caleb] Come on!

[lisping] Why is everything so hard?

How did you get through it?

I just found stuff that I had in common with him,

and then we had plenty to talk about.

-You should do the same. -Great idea.

Thanks, Charlotte. You really do have it all.

You took too long. There's a second barfer.

So, my project will be a documentary on the science of choking,

which is when an athlete suddenly can't perform under intense pressure.

I'll be filming Cami Wrather

as she deals with the stress of trying to break an archery record.

And the extreme humiliation that'll come when she doesn't.

Thanksies!

[giggles]

Minty, you think your little science project

is gonna make me choke?

I have ice in my veins.

Sounds chilly. Maybe you should wear a jacket.

Maybe you should wear a... jacket!

To keep warm.

When you... mail a letter!

Aw, man, Cooper's rubbing off on me.

Yes, I need two dozen more shirts.

But it's C-A-M-I.

How are you still getting camel?

This is my stop, Tom.

Here's a few extra bucks.

Take your lady friend to lunch.

[bell ringing]

Stud on a bike, coming through!

-[Fred screaming] -[clattering]

[body thuds]

My dancer's calves!

To the lower school and step on it!

Ollie, I have to help Fred.

He can't be helped.

Hi-ya!

Fred, why are you on the ground?

I'd explain, but the reason isn't very flattering.

So, are you pursuing any of your interests this weekend?

Yeah! I'm going to a book signing tomorrow for the The Caves of Goran.

It's my favorite fantasy novel series.

What? Stop it! No way. Mine too.

That's awesome! Will I see you there?

I'll be there with bells on.

Nice, you're going as Rusak, the Bell Tower Monk.

You totally look like him.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

Well, as they say in Goran, "Find the light."

I'll see you tomorrow, Fred.

Charlotte, I took your advice, and it turns out

both Neve and I love The Caves of Goran.

That's awesome.

Just one question: What's The Caves of Goran?

Seriously?

It's an incredibly popular book series, Fred.

You'll like it. I'll lend you my copies.

Charlotte, you're a doll.

I'll swing by later. Fredwina out!

'Sup, Camel?

Did you just call me Camel?

No. Unless you like it.

-Nope. -What's going on?

Minty messed with my bow.

See? She did something to it.

But why would Minty do that, Camel?

I'll stop that now.

She did it to keep me from breaking the record.

She's doing a stupid school project

about athletes choking just to get in my head.

Good luck. You got ice in your veins.

That's what I told her!

And then I said some stuff about wearing jackets

I'm not very proud of.

Dinner's almost ready.

Ooh! Let's see if I still got the eagle eye.

♪ Oh, yeah, I still got it ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, I still got it ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, I still got it ♪

Did you just see that?

Yeah. Mom's got some moves.

Cooper, Mom just shot three bull's-eyes.

There's nothing wrong with the bow.

That means... there's something wrong with me.

[sighs] My heart's pounding, my stomach hurts,

and what's going on with these?

You've got nerves.

I knew you were human.

Charlotte owes me five bucks.

This has never happened to me before, and I don't like it.

Well, neither do I.

But I'm your big brother and I'm gonna fix you.

Ow!

Is that a pine cone?

I'm trying to calm you down.

This worked for a cat on the Internet.

Well, as long as you saw it on the Internet...

You know what?

I'm Cami Wrather.

I'll just will my confidence back.

Hi-sies. Mini Minty, making a movie!

Feel the freshness.

What is happening?

Oh, don't mind me.

I'm just hanging out in the safest place I could find.

The target you're aiming at.

Bow and arrow humor, y'all.

Get out of here, you mini-monster!

Oh, man, she's lost it.

I can't do this.

I'm choking.

Minty's totally in my head.

Maybe I should just back out of the tournament.

But you're just three bull's-eyes away from the record.

I'd just embarrass myself while Minty films the entire thing.

At least see what the Wratherheads think.

Fine. Just don't use my name.

Cami, please. I got this.

Hey, guys, a friend needs our help.

Her name is Tami Drather.

Smooth.

She plays a sport and is going for the record.

Unfortunately, she might come up short and embarrass herself.

So... should she quit and save face?

Or... go for it and probably lose face in front of everyone?

Wratherheads say go for the record.

Tami thanks you.

As does her brother... Looper.

Don't worry, I'll take care of you.

I'll make sure Minty stays away from your meet tomorrow.

Ha! Good luck getting rid of me.

I'm not going anywhere.

Nighty night!

P.S. I snore.

[snores loudly]

Fred, where have you been?

Well, I was in the den,

and then I rode my bike all the way around to the kitchen.

That got me pretty winded so I hydrated.

Which also winded me.

And now I'm here.

I'll pick that up later.

Fred, the book signing is this afternoon.

Now, I've highlighted all the important stuff in the series--

Charlotte, it's Fredward you're talking to.

Whatcha got there, two, three books?

Seven.

Seven?

I'd like to be alone, please.

'Cause you're gonna start reading?

[high-pitched] Sure. Let's go with that.

[muffled screaming]

Hey, Hula Coop.

All dressed up for your sister's big fail?

No, I'm going to a meeting for that special school trip

to Washington D.C. this summer.

They left golden envelopes in ten "highly gifted" kids' lockers.

Guess you didn't make it.

Guess I did.

Hi-sies! Thank you so much for picking me for the trip,

but also, of course you did.

Trip? Only place you're going to is detention.

-Uh, but-- -Now get in there.

Cooper!

Huh?

Did I do it? Did I read all the Gorans?

Read? No. Drool? Yes.

The book signing is in an hour!

You're a mess.

Charlotte!

Did you pull another muscle getting up from the couch?

Won't know the answer to that for six to eight hours.

I fell asleep and didn't get to finish the series.

How many books did you get through?

Out of seven? None.

Now I have nothing to talk about with Neve.

You have to come with me and help me fake it.

You think I'm just free whenever to go wherever last minute?

Yeah, I'm free.

Caleb canceled our date because of an earache.

Thank you, Charlotte.

You just earned yourself a ride on the back of Fredwina.

Hold my waist tightly 'cause I like to motor.

Cami, we're good to go.

You're not gonna be seeing Minty for a very long time.

-Hi-sies! -[both scream]

Did you really think I'd miss getting your epic fail on video?

Don't worry, Cooper, she's imaginary.

If she were real...

Do you think she'd let me do this?

[whispering] I think she might be real.

That was a perfectly forged detention slip.

How did you get out?

I used something called charm.

Check the system. Check the system. Check the system. Check the system. Check the system. Check the system.

Check the system. Check the system.

Check the system. Check the system. Check the system.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got to find a good seat to film this choke-fest.

M-M-Minty out.

Cooper, it's happening again.

I got this.

Go away, nerves.

Boo! Hiss! Nobody likes you.

Did it work?

You weirdly yelling at my fingers? No.

Hey, guys.

-Cami, you okay? -Absolutely.

If okay means my heart feels like it's pounding out of my chest

and I couldn't hit the side of a barn from ten feet.

She's being sarcastic.

Thanks, I cracked that code.

Competitors to the front.

The tournament will now begin.

You need to delay this thing so I can talk to Cami.

On it. Stalling is one of my hidden talents.

It all started when I was in kindergarten.

-And I wanted to-- -Not me! Them! Go!

Excuse me.

Hey, everybody.

Before we begin, I will now sing our school fight song.

Which is totally real and not made-up.

♪ We are the black bears Of North Plains Day ♪

♪ In courage, in honor We lead the way ♪

Now for verse two! Also not made-up.

Wow. There are some real superfans here.

Except for not knowing about the books, you're gonna fit right in.

Yeah.

So my character, Rusak, is he like the town hottie?

The villagers did throw him in a volcano.

So he was hot. Nice.

Straighten your bald spot. Neve's coming.

Find the light, Fred.

Paluna toto.

Potato potahto, right back at ya.

[chuckles]

This is why he got thrown into a volcano, am I right?

So, Fred, we've been arguing about Goff's quest for the six Awkwors.

You know, that's so funny.

Fred and I were just talking about that.

He said the Norf River is a metaphor for Goff's life.

That is so smart, Fred.

Which is why I definitely said it.

Wait a sec.

That wizard over there

who can't open the ketchup packet is Caleb!

Openus ketchupus.

Dang it.

He said he had an earache.

As they say in Goran,

Nuggle nuggle fweep fweep bwa.

What does that mean?

A rough translation involves my foot somewhere near his rear end.

[whimpers]

Come on, everybody, clap your hands if you're happy.

And growl like this if you're nasty.

Grrr. Grrr.

You know the main thing you and I have in common?

We both want to pretend we don't know Cooper right now?

Yes. And...

You and I are both wired the same way.

I know exactly what you're going through, Cami.

-You do? -I was a great archer back in the day.

But the pressure to be great got in my head.

I wanted to stop competing because I was nervous about failing.

Okay, so what did you do about it?

Because I'm really freaking out right now.

I overcame my nerves by repeating a very wise expression

over and over again.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

As long as you throw it at him very hard."

-[giggles] -See?

You just forgot about your nerves for a second.

So say that to yourself right before you shoot.

It'll help you focus and remind you that this is only a game.

-Thanks, Mom. -Of course.

And, you know, whether you break the record or not,

you have a family that loves you very much.

Look at me! I'm a worm.

A very strange family.

Caleb, you cancel on me by saying you have an earache

and then show up here dressed as the Dark Wizard?

-Charlotte, let me explain. -Don't bother.

By the way, you have ketchup dripping from your beard of knowledge.

I'm really sorry.

I just didn't want you to know I like to dress up

as characters from The Caves of Goran.

Why?

I know you see me as this tuba-playing bad boy

and, well, I was worried you'd think less of me.

Of course I don't.

Caleb, if this is what you're into, it's cool.

Thanks, Charlotte.

Check it out.

I brought a second book to get autographed

even though you're only allowed one.

[gasps]

My mom warned me about guys like you.

And that's why the caves are so cave-like.

That's an interesting take on book one.

So what did you think of the Goran unicorn uprising?

Oh, I loved it...

Hashtag unified-for-unicorns. One love. That's really interesting, because...

there is no unicorn uprising!

You know nothing about The Caves of Goran.

Nuggle nuggle fweep fweep bwa!

So, I know that has something to do with my butt.

Fred, why would you lie to me?

Are you just trying to make fun of me and my friends?

No, not at all.

The truth is

I'm new to this whole hanging with a girl thing.

And I was trying to find something we could talk about.

You think that makes it okay to lie?

I know. I messed it all up.

I'm really sorry.

I'll leave. As soon I pull up this bus schedule.

Bus schedule? Where's your new bike?

I sold Fredwina so I could buy all this Goran gear.

You guys have a very expensive hobby.

You sold your bike for me?

I thought I'd get more because it's brand-new,

but somehow it got pretty banged up.

That's sweet.

Do you wanna stay and hang out for a bit?

You still wanna hang out with me?

I do.

You're an interesting creature, Fred.

Just like the Gorans.

Full disclosure, I still don't know what a Goran is.

But this seems like good news.

I think I did a really great job with the stalling.

Even though someone threw their shoe at me.

There's always one.

[exhales] Focus, Cami.

Cami, am I in your head?

Ooh! You want to ignore me, but you can't.

I'm so in your head, I'm dancing with your brain.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

As long as you throw it at him really hard."

[Jenna and Cooper] Thirty-four!

Thirty-five!

One more and she breaks the record.

Miss it, you pipsqueak!

Stop that! What are you doing?

That's my record.

And that's my nana.

Feel the freshness.

Feel the freshness.

[distorted] Feel the freshness.

[Jenna and Cooper] Thirty-six!

You did it!

[cheering]

Looks like you're the one who choked on... something.

Burn!

There's our champion!

She did it!

Thanks to the best mom ever.

Hey, where's your shoe?

-She did it! -[Cami screams]

Almost there, Ollie.

Three days of not touching the ground in!

Ten...

[all] Nine, eight, seven--

I got my bike back!

-Whoa! -No!

Tastes like victory.

With a little bit of foot.

[all cheering]

Ah!