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1
00:00:01,423 --> 00:00:04,283
[indistinct chatter]
2
00:00:04,408 --> 00:00:05,839
[Nora]
Grandma?
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,079
Edmund.
4
00:00:07,149 --> 00:00:09,384
Oh, hey, Nora.
5
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,244
What's going on here, huh?
6
00:00:11,314 --> 00:00:13,244
What's this?
Best friends all of a sudden?
7
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,204
Huh? You gonna throw me
down the river, Grandma?
8
00:00:15,274 --> 00:00:18,624
Well, Edmund offered to come
with me to the store.
9
00:00:18,694 --> 00:00:20,514
He... he's a good boy.
10
00:00:20,584 --> 00:00:22,414
Now, I took Grandma to H Mart
11
00:00:22,484 --> 00:00:25,824
and bought her
a $500 rice cooker.
12
00:00:25,894 --> 00:00:27,864
You do that too sometimes,
right, Nora?
13
00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:30,244
Eat my ass, Edmund.
14
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:31,624
We're making dumplings!
15
00:00:31,694 --> 00:00:33,010
Oh, that's cool
'cause I just thought
16
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,250
that was something
that just me and you did,
17
00:00:34,274 --> 00:00:36,764
A and B, Grandma and Nora,
you know, our thing.
18
00:00:36,824 --> 00:00:39,274
You know what I mean,
'cause you love me more and all, right?
19
00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:41,104
Oh, Grandma's gonna teach me,
20
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,454
and I can't wait
to learn from the best.
21
00:00:43,514 --> 00:00:45,144
[Grandma laughs]
22
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:47,654
I wanna learn, too.
I call middle seat.
23
00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:50,484
Oh, but we've made
dumplings together
24
00:00:50,554 --> 00:00:52,414
2,000 times, Nora.
25
00:00:52,484 --> 00:00:56,174
And Edmund and I have
never made dumplings before.
26
00:00:56,244 --> 00:01:00,454
Yeah, but I want to do it
2,001 times.
27
00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,244
Race you there. Race you where?
28
00:01:02,314 --> 00:01:04,724
Uh, here. I've been here.
29
00:01:04,794 --> 00:01:06,274
Yeah, I know.
Grandma loves me more.
30
00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:07,584
What? What? What?
31
00:01:07,654 --> 00:01:08,894
What? What?
32
00:01:08,964 --> 00:01:09,980
Grandma loves me more.
What?
33
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,934
What? What? What?
34
00:01:12,004 --> 00:01:14,894
♪♪
35
00:01:24,894 --> 00:01:26,964
[camera clicking]
36
00:01:27,034 --> 00:01:28,514
[grunting]
37
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,274
Damon.
38
00:01:32,344 --> 00:01:34,554
You mind if I squeeze in a set?
39
00:01:34,624 --> 00:01:36,624
One sec, bro.
Let me just take one more pic.
40
00:01:36,694 --> 00:01:38,104
Ah...
41
00:01:38,174 --> 00:01:39,964
#gymselfies.
42
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:41,794
You on IG? Huh?
43
00:01:41,864 --> 00:01:43,764
Instagram, you on it? No.
44
00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:45,624
I look around
on Facebook sometimes.
45
00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:47,244
That's about it.[laughing]
46
00:01:47,314 --> 00:01:49,274
What? Facebook? Wally!
47
00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:51,484
Facebook is dead, bro. Oh, yeah?
48
00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:53,244
It is all about the Gram.
Check it out.
49
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,654
Whoa! No, look it at.
50
00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:56,454
Damon! The chicks dig it.
51
00:01:56,514 --> 00:01:57,934
I get so many dates off of this.
52
00:01:58,004 --> 00:01:59,934
You're single, right? Yeah.
53
00:02:00,004 --> 00:02:01,764
It's the Gram, baby.
54
00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:03,034
Oh, no, I...
55
00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,584
I don't need to post
intimate pictures like that.
56
00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:07,584
Well, you better get crackin'.
57
00:02:07,654 --> 00:02:10,204
No.Yeah, look.
58
00:02:10,274 --> 00:02:13,344
If a chick can't
find you on Instagram,
59
00:02:13,414 --> 00:02:15,204
she's gonna think
you're a serial killer.
60
00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:16,384
That's the truth.
61
00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:18,934
Really? All you gotta do
62
00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:21,384
is go on Amazon Prime,
buy a ring light,
63
00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:22,964
then you go home
to the bathroom.
64
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:25,554
You put up a leg, maybe two,
65
00:02:25,624 --> 00:02:27,144
click, pussy.
66
00:02:27,204 --> 00:02:29,104
No, no, no.
Don't listen to this loser.
67
00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:31,484
My kids think your Instagram
is a meme account.
68
00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:33,794
If I'm such a loser,
then how come I have
69
00:02:33,864 --> 00:02:37,004
over 300 followers?
70
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,144
[Damon laughs]
71
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:39,864
You know what this is about?
72
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:41,584
You just want a piece
of me, Janeane.
73
00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:43,764
Everybody knows it.
Wally knows it.
74
00:02:43,824 --> 00:02:45,314
How many times do
I have to tell you
75
00:02:45,384 --> 00:02:46,414
I'm a raging lesbian?
76
00:02:46,484 --> 00:02:47,934
Whatever, Janeane.
77
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:50,314
Janeane?
78
00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:51,904
You wanna get like
a coffee after this?
79
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,384
I'm hanging out with my wife.
80
00:02:53,454 --> 00:02:55,074
Oh, you were serious? Yeah.
81
00:02:57,174 --> 00:02:58,314
[camera clicks]
82
00:02:58,384 --> 00:03:01,314
♪♪
83
00:03:07,764 --> 00:03:10,694
Oh! Ant-Man.
84
00:03:10,764 --> 00:03:13,584
These dumplings are beautiful.
85
00:03:13,654 --> 00:03:17,384
You certainly have
a knack for crimping.
86
00:03:17,454 --> 00:03:19,724
Yeah, well, thank you, Grandma.
I learned from the best.
87
00:03:19,794 --> 00:03:21,764
[both laughing]
88
00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:23,104
Who? The best!
89
00:03:23,174 --> 00:03:24,174
Oh!
[laughs]
90
00:03:24,244 --> 00:03:26,034
You know who else?
Talented me.
91
00:03:26,104 --> 00:03:27,824
[chuckling]
92
00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:29,864
[snickers]
Yes.
93
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:31,034
Let's see.
94
00:03:31,104 --> 00:03:34,514
This one I named
Beautiful Flower
95
00:03:34,584 --> 00:03:36,764
from All Generations
to the End of Time for you.
96
00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:39,484
Oh... Just be careful because
97
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,220
it has... the inside
comes out a little bit,
98
00:03:41,244 --> 00:03:42,454
so it is an open floor plan.
99
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,414
Nice try, Nora.
"Nice try, Nora." See that?
100
00:03:45,484 --> 00:03:47,624
See?
Feel dumb now, huh?
101
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,244
Don't you feel dumb now
a little bit?
102
00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:51,104
I get you some water.
103
00:03:51,174 --> 00:03:53,074
Thanks, Grandma.
Love you.
104
00:03:53,144 --> 00:03:55,174
Mm, your dumplings look
like the Pillsbury Doughboy
105
00:03:55,244 --> 00:03:56,414
got hate-crimed.
106
00:03:56,484 --> 00:03:58,004
You wanna shut
the hell up, bitch?!
107
00:03:58,074 --> 00:03:59,514
Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah.
108
00:03:59,584 --> 00:04:01,344
Calling me a bitch. You're third-wheelin'.
109
00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:03,004
I've seen this movie before.
110
00:04:03,074 --> 00:04:04,594
You come in and you wanna
take my skin.
111
00:04:04,624 --> 00:04:06,074
That's what you wanna do.
112
00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:07,934
You wanna come up in here
and take my skin.
113
00:04:08,004 --> 00:04:10,144
Ugh, my God.
Nora...
114
00:04:10,204 --> 00:04:12,344
And also, look at that one.
115
00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:14,080
That one looks like
a fuckin' butthole, dude.
116
00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:16,104
That means it'll be
delicious, yum, yum, yum.
117
00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:18,074
2020, Year of the Ass.
118
00:04:18,144 --> 00:04:20,894
♪♪
119
00:04:20,964 --> 00:04:24,764
[slurping]Okay, perfect.
120
00:04:24,824 --> 00:04:27,894
"Post workout
smoothie vibes."
121
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:31,074
You sure I don't
look like a douche?
122
00:04:31,144 --> 00:04:32,490
Everybody looks like
they're trying too hard.
123
00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:33,764
It's kinda the point.
124
00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:35,560
But you gotta post more
than one photo, though,
125
00:04:35,584 --> 00:04:37,224
because otherwise
you'll look like a creep
126
00:04:37,274 --> 00:04:38,514
who just trolls people.
127
00:04:38,584 --> 00:04:40,934
And so I can tell if
I'm following somebody
128
00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,180
and they're following me, right?
129
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:44,414
I see what's happening here.
What's her name?
130
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:46,584
Brenda Moreno.
131
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,074
Brenda Moreno.
Okay.
132
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:54,314
Oh, her screen name
is ArtfulBrenda.
133
00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:55,934
She's very pretty...
134
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,174
and very artsy.
135
00:04:57,244 --> 00:04:58,314
Let me see.
136
00:04:58,384 --> 00:04:59,724
Yeah.
137
00:04:59,794 --> 00:05:02,414
That's her.Yeah.
138
00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:04,050
So, listen, if you wanna
thirst trap her,
139
00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:05,940
I think you're gonna have
to post some better pics.
140
00:05:05,964 --> 00:05:07,514
Oh, will you take some for me?
141
00:05:07,584 --> 00:05:09,144
Yeah, but let's not
take 'em in the gym.
142
00:05:09,204 --> 00:05:10,360
You don't want everybody
thinking all you do
143
00:05:10,384 --> 00:05:11,384
is hang out in the gym.
144
00:05:11,454 --> 00:05:13,074
But that is all I do.
145
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:17,964
[slurping]
146
00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:19,824
[music plays on phone]
147
00:05:19,894 --> 00:05:21,864
[cat meowing]
148
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,654
Okay, to start off, you take a little flour
149
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,654
and we spritz it around the table.
150
00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:28,274
And now we take the skin.
151
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:30,244
See?
152
00:05:30,314 --> 00:05:31,724
Oh, that's enough.
153
00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:34,484
[line ringing]
154
00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:36,694
Oh, my God, Edmund!
Come quick!
155
00:05:36,764 --> 00:05:38,204
Something's happened to Grandma
156
00:05:38,274 --> 00:05:39,654
and it's really bad! What?
157
00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:41,514
I think she took a nasty spill.
158
00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:43,514
Oh, my God! Come straight to the garage.
159
00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:46,414
Don't call anybody. Just come
straight to the garage!
160
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,894
Okay, I'll be right... [beep]
161
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:50,934
[creepy music playing]
162
00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,554
[panting]
163
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:54,794
Oh, God, I hate running.
164
00:05:54,864 --> 00:05:56,934
Where's Grandma?
Is she okay?
165
00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:58,864
She's fine.
166
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:00,694
But I'm not.
167
00:06:00,764 --> 00:06:01,894
Oh, what?
168
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:08,144
[creepy music playing]
169
00:06:08,204 --> 00:06:10,314
What's your endgame
with my grandma, bitch?
170
00:06:12,074 --> 00:06:13,248
What?
171
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,260
What are you talking
about, you psycho?
172
00:06:15,285 --> 00:06:16,395
She's my grandma, too.
173
00:06:16,455 --> 00:06:18,021
Well, why don't you go
to the grandma store
174
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,285
and get your own grandma?
175
00:06:19,355 --> 00:06:20,541
My other grandma's dead,
so Grandma's
176
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:21,805
the only grandma I have.
177
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:23,945
Yeah, my mom's dead
so Grandma's not only my mom,
178
00:06:24,015 --> 00:06:25,805
she's my grandma and my grandpa.
179
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:28,085
Okay, now I'm walking
away from this. I'm...
180
00:06:28,145 --> 00:06:29,835
What are you...? Ah.
181
00:06:29,905 --> 00:06:31,525
Don't... What is this?
182
00:06:31,595 --> 00:06:33,045
Stop.
You're box-stepping?
183
00:06:33,115 --> 00:06:34,665
I'm not movin'...
184
00:06:34,735 --> 00:06:35,975
until you give me some answers.
185
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:37,565
Jesus, answers to what?
186
00:06:37,635 --> 00:06:39,021
To why you're hanging out
with Grandma
187
00:06:39,045 --> 00:06:41,905
when you should be
working on your top-secret app.
188
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:45,130
Hah? Hah?
189
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,705
All right, fine,
but I need you to back off.
190
00:06:48,945 --> 00:06:49,985
Have a seat.
191
00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:51,505
Oh, what now?
192
00:06:53,055 --> 00:06:54,225
[sighs]
193
00:06:55,435 --> 00:06:57,365
Start talking, Edmund.
194
00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:59,981
I was gonna come up with an app,
195
00:07:00,369 --> 00:07:02,579
but then I didn't.
196
00:07:02,915 --> 00:07:05,242
And I still haven't and...
197
00:07:05,765 --> 00:07:06,968
it's bad.
198
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,778
So you stole $15 million?
199
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,913
No, it's called an investment.
200
00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:12,199
What's it called, Ponzi scheme?
201
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,223
No, an investment!
202
00:07:13,293 --> 00:07:14,609
Look, I have to come up
with an idea
203
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,843
for the investors this week.
204
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:19,422
And if I still don't
have anything, then...
205
00:07:19,996 --> 00:07:21,206
I'm screwed.
206
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,703
So why don't you go
work on the app
207
00:07:23,773 --> 00:07:24,959
instead of hanging out
with Grandma
208
00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:26,071
and trying to steal my skin?
209
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,381
Because it's stressful
210
00:07:27,451 --> 00:07:28,831
and she makes me feel
less anxious.
211
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:30,737
So you're not trying to steal
my Grandma away from me?
212
00:07:30,761 --> 00:07:32,961
No, absolutely not.Good. Good.
213
00:07:36,001 --> 00:07:37,211
Edmund, I was gonna kill you.
214
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,007
- What?
- But I'm not, I'm not now.
215
00:07:40,077 --> 00:07:42,247
You know, and the supplies
are refundable.
216
00:07:42,317 --> 00:07:44,417
So I have a... I have
an Ace Hardware card.
217
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:48,627
♪♪
218
00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:53,486
Oh, yeah, forgot
about all this stuff.
219
00:07:56,457 --> 00:07:57,627
Yeah!
220
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:00,146
Hey, Mom, Ma.
221
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,906
Have you seen my tuxedo pants?
222
00:08:01,976 --> 00:08:04,626
Yeah.
You sat on a brownie
223
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,361
at your cousin Jimmy's wedding.
224
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,461
We had to throw it away,
remember?
225
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,561
Yeah, everyone thought
I shit myself.
226
00:08:10,631 --> 00:08:11,741
[chuckling]
227
00:08:11,801 --> 00:08:13,743
What are you doing
in here anyway?
228
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,083
I'm just tidying up.
229
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:18,223
I'm just, you know,
deciding which sparks joy.
230
00:08:18,293 --> 00:08:19,533
Ahh...
231
00:08:19,603 --> 00:08:22,123
Guess what sparks my joy.
232
00:08:22,427 --> 00:08:23,837
Not Marie Kondo.
233
00:08:25,729 --> 00:08:27,309
Fuck Marie Kondo.
234
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:31,053
[music playing on laptop]
235
00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:34,943
You got investors off of this?
236
00:08:35,388 --> 00:08:39,698
This shitty PowerPoint
stock template?
237
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:44,703
Yeah, it's sort of
industry standard.
238
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,653
God, Silicon Valley's
such bullshit.
239
00:08:47,713 --> 00:08:49,888
Ooh, very hot take, Nora.
240
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:52,257
Really, they're investing
in my reputation.
241
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,492
But there are no good
app ideas anymore.
242
00:08:54,562 --> 00:08:56,112
Everything's already been done.
243
00:08:56,182 --> 00:08:57,382
That's not true.
244
00:08:57,452 --> 00:08:59,422
Netflix for Dogs.
245
00:08:59,492 --> 00:09:01,291
Uh, a poop emoji.
246
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,351
But it's like pictures
of your own poop,
247
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,836
and you put eyes on it.
248
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:07,564
What about an app that
takes a picture of a place,
249
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:11,217
and you can find out what...
What used to be there?
250
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,393
I don't know if anyone's
done that already,
251
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:13,428
but that's actually good.
252
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:17,866
What about like
a flesh mold of a vagina,
253
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,541
right, but it's portable?
254
00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:22,341
And we call it a pocket pussy.
255
00:09:22,411 --> 00:09:24,781
Okay, this might take a while,
but keep going.
256
00:09:24,851 --> 00:09:26,821
An app that tells you
if you're ugly or not.
257
00:09:26,891 --> 00:09:29,137
An app that you could look at
your vagina like in a mirror.
258
00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,445
What else?
259
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,831
An app that shows you
what you would look like
260
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:33,621
as a decaying corpse,
that's tight, that's a good one.
261
00:09:33,645 --> 00:09:35,195
No! An app that tells you
262
00:09:35,265 --> 00:09:37,475
- if a ghost is friendly or not.
- What?
263
00:09:37,545 --> 00:09:39,855
An app that finds
your long-lost friends.
264
00:09:39,925 --> 00:09:42,195
An app that lightly stimulates
your butthole.
265
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:44,305
An app that lightly
stimulates your friends'.
266
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,265
An app that beckons squirrels.
267
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,772
An app that... it's like Tinder
but for parakeets.
268
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:49,797
I need more!
269
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,547
But I have to poop.
270
00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:54,552
You should be pooping ideas!
271
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,250
[camera clicks]
272
00:10:03,587 --> 00:10:04,827
[sighs]
273
00:10:06,207 --> 00:10:07,547
Oh...
274
00:10:07,617 --> 00:10:10,207
"I really liked
that movie."
275
00:10:11,927 --> 00:10:12,997
[sighs]
276
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:27,127
[Nora sighs]
We have so many good ideas.
277
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,777
We just haven't found
the one yet!
278
00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:31,297
I gotta get outta here.
279
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:33,942
[grunts]
I haven't seen any daylight.
280
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,387
I took a poop in the corner.
281
00:10:35,457 --> 00:10:37,457
Eww, why?[groans]
282
00:10:37,527 --> 00:10:40,037
No, wait, incubation
takes time, okay?
283
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,077
We'll get there.
We just need to keep going.
284
00:10:42,147 --> 00:10:43,417
[phone chimes]
285
00:10:44,697 --> 00:10:46,897
Your dad followed me
on Instagram.
286
00:10:46,967 --> 00:10:49,147
Holy shit! What?
287
00:10:49,217 --> 00:10:50,400
Look.
288
00:10:50,797 --> 00:10:51,734
So?
289
00:10:52,211 --> 00:10:54,988
[screaming, gagging]
290
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,048
Uncle Penis! Uncle Penis! Uncle Penis!
291
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,073
It's a damn penis!
292
00:10:58,143 --> 00:11:00,213
[both stammering, gasping]
293
00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:01,833
Why would you show it to me?!
294
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:03,353
He must've accidentally
posted it
295
00:11:03,423 --> 00:11:05,473
and just didn't
see the mirror behind him.
296
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,584
[gasps]It has like 200 likes
297
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,204
which proportionately
doesn't make sense
298
00:11:09,274 --> 00:11:11,337
because he has 17 followers.
299
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,917
We need to delete that thing.
300
00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,757
He... he's gonna become a meme.
301
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,818
Even if he deletes it
off his personal account,
302
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,843
other people have
screenshotted it.
303
00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:21,123
No, no, no, we need
to get the original off.
304
00:11:21,193 --> 00:11:23,223
We need to get the screenshots
off, any duplicates.
305
00:11:23,293 --> 00:11:24,851
We need to scrub the Internet
of that picture.
306
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,101
That needs to go.
Ahh! That needs to go.
307
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:31,581
You are an idiot
but also a goddamn genius.
308
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,541
Mwah!
Okay, I gotta go.
309
00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:35,821
I gotta go!
Um, I gotta go.
310
00:11:35,891 --> 00:11:36,891
Where are you going?!
311
00:11:36,961 --> 00:11:38,721
To go and code "Scrubr."
312
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:39,921
It shouldn't take long.
313
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,587
I just have to match
a proprietary data set
314
00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:43,277
to an image-labeling model,
and then it'll be deleted...
315
00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:44,537
[muttering]
316
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:46,171
- You're leaving?
- Yeah.
317
00:11:46,231 --> 00:11:47,791
And you won't be back
for a while?
318
00:11:47,851 --> 00:11:50,651
- Yeah. Bye.
- Can I... Can I ask you one more thing?
319
00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:53,721
- What?
- Did you just feel anything?
320
00:11:53,791 --> 00:11:56,371
Eww, no!
Disgusting.
321
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:58,635
I didn't either.
I didn't either!
322
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,228
[Nora muttering]
323
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,452
Still won't close.
324
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,832
Have patience and you'll get it.
325
00:12:05,902 --> 00:12:08,263
You know, I always wish I was
one of those Asian girls
326
00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:10,428
that could draw Pokémon freehand
327
00:12:10,498 --> 00:12:12,273
and rip paper
in a straight line.
328
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,583
I can't even roll a joint right.
329
00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:15,893
Origami is boring.
330
00:12:15,963 --> 00:12:18,413
And plus, maybe your talent
isn't in your fingers.
331
00:12:18,483 --> 00:12:19,993
Maybe it's somewhere else.
332
00:12:20,063 --> 00:12:21,273
Hm, that's true.
333
00:12:21,343 --> 00:12:23,103
[Edmund panting]
334
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,443
I've been coding all night.
335
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,793
And I finally finished the beta.
336
00:12:27,823 --> 00:12:29,963
And I think this app
could be huge.
337
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:32,963
Oh, wow, I'm so proud
of you, Edmund.
338
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:35,173
Well, the harder part
is thinking of the app,
339
00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:38,063
which I did
in 3.5 seconds and counting.
340
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:41,527
Oh-ho, so I'm proud
of you too, Nora.
341
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,893
Yeah, I literally invented
an entire server, okay, so...
342
00:12:45,963 --> 00:12:47,303
Yeah, well, Grandma
loves me more,
343
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:48,489
so I hope you're
all right with that.
344
00:12:48,513 --> 00:12:49,653
Okay, just Nora,
345
00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:51,039
you don't know
what's about to happen.
346
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:53,683
Okay, if this app
gets up and running,
347
00:12:53,753 --> 00:12:57,033
we are looking at potentially
raking in millions.
348
00:12:57,103 --> 00:12:58,589
We need to get my dad's
dick off the Internet
349
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,963
before fuckjerry
finds it and shit.
350
00:13:01,033 --> 00:13:02,683
Okay, just...
It's fine, whatever.
351
00:13:02,753 --> 00:13:04,529
Can I just run my app
presentation for you guys?
352
00:13:04,553 --> 00:13:07,009
'Cause I just need to practice before
the investor meeting tomorrow and...
353
00:13:07,033 --> 00:13:09,580
No.Of course!
354
00:13:10,243 --> 00:13:12,413
Janeane, I got of likes
from complete strangers
355
00:13:12,483 --> 00:13:14,583
and also two verified likes
356
00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:16,133
from Olivia Jade.
357
00:13:16,203 --> 00:13:17,553
Who the hell's that?
358
00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:19,413
But nothing from Brenda.
359
00:13:19,483 --> 00:13:22,063
I don't understand why
she didn't like my photo.
360
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:23,483
Let me see it.
361
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,775
It's beautiful composition
and lighting.
362
00:13:27,845 --> 00:13:28,915
Thank you!
363
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,225
Oh.
364
00:13:33,775 --> 00:13:36,085
- Uh-oh.
- What?
365
00:13:38,915 --> 00:13:40,605
Holy shit!
My dick is out!
366
00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:42,395
Yeah. Janeane, my dick is out!
367
00:13:42,465 --> 00:13:43,805
What happened?!
368
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,365
That explains all the likes.
369
00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:46,535
I gotta delete it.
370
00:13:46,605 --> 00:13:48,465
Oh, no, I think
I just sent it my story!
371
00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:49,675
Oh, shit!
372
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,891
I've gotta take
some more pictures
373
00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:51,921
to take the heat off
the first one.
374
00:13:51,945 --> 00:13:53,985
Okay, Wally, you're spiraling.
375
00:13:54,055 --> 00:13:55,651
- Bananas. Bananas are good, right?
- Wally...
376
00:13:55,675 --> 00:13:57,325
Bananas.
Banana boomerang.
377
00:13:57,395 --> 00:13:58,875
- Take deep breaths.
- Bananas are fine!
378
00:13:58,945 --> 00:14:01,705
I'm gonna help you.[Wally panting]
379
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,535
Okay, okay, good news.
380
00:14:03,605 --> 00:14:05,085
ArtfulBrenda
is not following you,
381
00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:07,775
- and I deleted the pic.
- Yes! Thank you!
382
00:14:07,845 --> 00:14:09,474
Bad news is...
383
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,534
Damon reposted it.
384
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,599
No!
385
00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:15,289
Oh, shit!
386
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:20,443
[Wally panting]You want a chip?
387
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,173
You know I'm allergic
to sour cream, Janeane!
388
00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:24,343
I didn't know that.
389
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:25,933
I haven't known you
for that long.
390
00:14:25,993 --> 00:14:26,993
[crunching]
391
00:14:27,063 --> 00:14:29,963
♪♪
392
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,793
Red leather, yellow leather.
393
00:14:31,863 --> 00:14:33,793
Red leather, yellow leather.
394
00:14:33,863 --> 00:14:36,392
The dragon will come
when he hears the drum
395
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,152
at a minute or two till two.
396
00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:40,997
Y'all ready for this?
397
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:45,237
"Scrubr" is an app
that can change the world
398
00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:47,547
"by using micro-patterns
compiled from each
399
00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:49,857
"binary-based
representation of a pixel
400
00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:53,617
"or local binary pattern
or a patented LBP,
401
00:14:53,687 --> 00:14:56,417
"we can run the image
through our neural network
402
00:14:56,487 --> 00:14:58,617
"and this outputs a set
of measurements
403
00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,547
"that serve as a unique...
404
00:15:00,617 --> 00:15:02,277
"identifier.
405
00:15:02,347 --> 00:15:05,888
Send nudes?
More like unsend nudes."
406
00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:08,997
You know, I'm just gonna...
[stammering]
407
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:12,827
I'm just gonna start over
and, um, oh! Okay.
408
00:15:12,897 --> 00:15:14,347
Leg cramp.
Leg cramp.
409
00:15:14,417 --> 00:15:16,617
[Edmund snorts]
Oh, my God, I'm burning up.
410
00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:17,897
It's like I'm on...
411
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:19,727
It's like I'm on the beach
in Mykonos.
412
00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:20,897
Oh, my God.
413
00:15:20,967 --> 00:15:22,797
You're sweating
very profusely right now.
414
00:15:22,857 --> 00:15:23,967
[sniffs]
Do you smell that?
415
00:15:24,037 --> 00:15:25,277
It smells like turmeric.
416
00:15:25,347 --> 00:15:27,277
[whispers]
What is wrong with him?
417
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:28,687
I don't know.
418
00:15:28,757 --> 00:15:31,237
Okay.
[inhales, then exhales][flatulence]
419
00:15:31,307 --> 00:15:32,447
Oh...
[sniffs]
420
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,797
Mm... Mm...
421
00:15:33,857 --> 00:15:35,617
I'll leave you with this.
422
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:37,967
We're all born the same way...
423
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,827
Naked and screaming.
Thank you so much.
424
00:15:41,447 --> 00:15:43,307
[whispering indistinctly]
425
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,927
That's good, right?
Had a good flow.
426
00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,587
Had a good... structure.
427
00:15:46,657 --> 00:15:49,277
Yeah. Yeah.
428
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,347
No notes?
429
00:15:50,377 --> 00:15:52,277
I'm good.Mm...
430
00:15:52,347 --> 00:15:53,394
Good.
431
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,517
[fighting retching]
432
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,148
Oh... Oh...
433
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,307
Oh, Nora, you need to help him.
434
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,857
He's gonna fail.
435
00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:05,137
I know.
Um, did you wanna go
436
00:16:05,207 --> 00:16:07,727
get your PediEgg refill
tomorrow, like in the morning?
437
00:16:07,797 --> 00:16:10,277
Oh, no, we gotta take
care of him first.
438
00:16:10,347 --> 00:16:11,417
He needs help.
439
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:12,967
I don't care.
I don't wanna help him.
440
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:14,432
If this was your idea,
441
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,001
then you should pitch it
with him.
442
00:16:17,982 --> 00:16:21,330
- Fine.
- Okay, that's my good girl.
443
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,045
Oh, shit, he's coming back.
444
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,805
- Can I do it one more time?
- No!
445
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:27,255
♪♪
446
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:30,285
[phone vibrating]
447
00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:38,005
Oh, no.
448
00:16:45,975 --> 00:16:47,905
[Edmund sighs] I just
wanna get this over with.
449
00:16:47,975 --> 00:16:49,115
I'm shaking like a leaf.
450
00:16:49,185 --> 00:16:50,665
You'll be fine.
451
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:52,094
Just pretend you're naked.
452
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,644
Stare... stare into their eyes.
453
00:16:53,714 --> 00:16:55,448
I'm pitching
in a conference room,
454
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,557
not a sauna.
455
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,207
You know what,
this is gonna be a disaster
456
00:16:58,277 --> 00:17:00,377
and I... I should go,
I should go, I'm gonna go.
457
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:02,517
No, no, look.
I know you're nervous.
458
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:03,937
Okay? So am I.
459
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:05,757
But now's the time
to see who has a heart.
460
00:17:05,827 --> 00:17:07,587
Now's the time to prove
to yourself
461
00:17:07,657 --> 00:17:09,277
and everybody else
462
00:17:09,347 --> 00:17:11,247
that even though
you're locked up,
463
00:17:11,317 --> 00:17:12,627
you're somebody.
464
00:17:12,687 --> 00:17:13,897
All right?
465
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,557
That you can do
something special
466
00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:17,277
that no one else
in the world can do.
467
00:17:17,347 --> 00:17:19,417
You get to walk through
those doors,
468
00:17:19,487 --> 00:17:21,967
hold your head up high,
469
00:17:22,037 --> 00:17:24,447
and call yourself a Mustang!
470
00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:29,517
Is that The Rock's speech
from "Gridiron Gang"?
471
00:17:29,587 --> 00:17:32,107
Go with it.
You'll be all right.
472
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,317
Are you ready to go up
in there and blow them away?
473
00:17:34,377 --> 00:17:35,687
Yeah. Are you ready to scrub
474
00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:37,277
my dad's side dick
off the Internet?
475
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,487
Hell yeah!
476
00:17:40,447 --> 00:17:42,727
[stomach gurgling]
477
00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:48,557
[flatulence]
478
00:17:50,007 --> 00:17:51,767
All right, I know what
you guys are thinking.
479
00:17:51,797 --> 00:17:55,587
Look, look at this poor,
very depressing soul
480
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,627
just standing there
frozen in fear
481
00:17:58,687 --> 00:18:00,247
because his jealous ex
just posted
482
00:18:00,317 --> 00:18:02,177
a picture of him on all fours
483
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,417
dressed as
"The Legend of Zorro."
484
00:18:04,487 --> 00:18:05,587
[chiming]
485
00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:09,137
Yeah, devastating.
486
00:18:09,207 --> 00:18:10,687
And tell me this,
how many of you guys
487
00:18:10,727 --> 00:18:12,327
have photos like this
up on the Internet?
488
00:18:14,377 --> 00:18:16,247
Really?
Cocky bunch.
489
00:18:16,317 --> 00:18:18,627
Yeah, okay.
That's cool.
490
00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:20,827
Because I googled every
single one of you guys
491
00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:23,867
and found a trove of horrible,
492
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,727
uncompromising,
embarrassing photos.
493
00:18:25,797 --> 00:18:28,797
Tom, 2004 Halloween,
494
00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:31,137
dressed as a slutty Pocahontas.
495
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:33,687
Cultural insensitivity
mixed with misogyny.
496
00:18:33,757 --> 00:18:34,897
That's a double yikes.
497
00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:36,323
How would you like
to get this photo
498
00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:37,347
off the Internet forever?
499
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,447
Yeah, please.
500
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:41,967
That's why, luckily,
Edmund and I
501
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:45,177
came up with an app we call...
502
00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:47,107
♪♪
503
00:18:47,177 --> 00:18:48,687
...Scrubr.
504
00:18:48,757 --> 00:18:50,557
With a push of a button,
505
00:18:50,627 --> 00:18:52,317
our Scrubr app can delete
506
00:18:52,377 --> 00:18:54,657
any unwanted photo ever
507
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:57,827
off the Internet
for all eternities.
508
00:18:57,897 --> 00:19:01,067
We use an image similarity
algorithm to remove
509
00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:03,037
all your bad photos
from the Internet.
510
00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:05,587
Every bunghole,
every one-night stand,
511
00:19:05,657 --> 00:19:07,757
every mistake that's
ever gone public
512
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:10,137
so that never again
will you google yourself
513
00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:12,177
and have your drunken
college mugshot
514
00:19:12,262 --> 00:19:14,152
staring back at you.
515
00:19:14,207 --> 00:19:16,447
Thank you so much!
516
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,627
Wow.
517
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,517
Well, uh, we love it.
518
00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:27,177
Let's talk about
upping your valuation
519
00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,687
for the next round of funding.
520
00:19:28,757 --> 00:19:29,937
So there'll be a next round.
521
00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:31,347
[man]
Oh, hell yeah.
522
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,447
We're very glad that
we invested in you, Edmund.
523
00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:36,487
Thank you, Tom,
and Maxwell, Amalin,
524
00:19:36,557 --> 00:19:41,947
Riford, and I wanna say Bryson?
525
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,552
Jason.Jason.
526
00:19:43,622 --> 00:19:44,684
Got one syllable.
527
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,854
Well, to be honest,
528
00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,204
this didn't really come together
529
00:19:48,264 --> 00:19:50,124
- until Nora got on board.
- Oh!
530
00:19:50,194 --> 00:19:51,924
That's beau...
That's so beautiful.
531
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:53,784
It's been a contentious
working relationship.
532
00:19:53,854 --> 00:19:54,954
She's... A bit contentious.
533
00:19:55,024 --> 00:19:57,574
Speaking of, can I...
Is this up for...?
534
00:19:58,954 --> 00:19:59,994
Uh-huh.
535
00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:01,744
Bye, everyone.
536
00:20:01,814 --> 00:20:02,994
[Nora]
Love you.
537
00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,384
That's gonna feed her
for a month.
538
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:06,105
[laughter]
539
00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:09,809
Nora, these dumplings
are actually really good.
540
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,144
Yeah, a lot better
than your public speaking.
541
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,880
[laughter]
542
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,657
Yo, yo, yo!
543
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,920
Oh, dumplings.
544
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:29,102
You're all thinking
about my dick now, aren't you?
545
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,987
No! Get over it.
546
00:20:32,269 --> 00:20:33,509
It's a dick.
547
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,338
Anyway, do you like
the dumplings, Grandma?
548
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,843
Oh, yes, they're very tasty.
549
00:20:41,913 --> 00:20:43,533
I'm so proud of you.
550
00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:45,813
Oh, my two dumplings!
551
00:20:47,563 --> 00:20:49,029
[whispering] Just blink
if you love me more.
552
00:20:49,053 --> 00:20:50,509
- It's okay. He's not looking.
- I'm right here.
553
00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:53,193
Oh, no, I can't do that.
554
00:20:57,436 --> 00:20:58,886
♪♪[bell dings]
555
00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:04,983
♪♪
556
00:21:26,091 --> 00:21:27,951
[man]
Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina?
38312
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