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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:01,835 --> 00:02:04,201 Andrew! 2 00:02:05,405 --> 00:02:07,396 Honey? 3 00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:11,477 Andrew. That was beautiful. Thanks, Mom. 4 00:02:11,545 --> 00:02:14,480 Wash your hands. Dinner'll be ready in 15 minutes. 5 00:02:14,548 --> 00:02:17,881 I gotta finish my science project, Mom. What's your project, son? 6 00:02:17,951 --> 00:02:21,580 To build a small but powerful TV antenna... 7 00:02:21,655 --> 00:02:25,614 so I can pick up signals from real far away, you know, like Sacramento, Oakland. 8 00:02:26,626 --> 00:02:28,560 Science is important, but dinner's important too. 9 00:02:28,628 --> 00:02:30,425 Fifteen minutes. Dinner. 10 00:03:21,414 --> 00:03:25,350 This has been a close game from the start, as both teams need a victory tonight. 11 00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:28,979 These home fans really show a lot of spirit. 12 00:03:29,055 --> 00:03:31,990 Idaho brings the ball down the court. They drive toward the basket. 13 00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:35,323 They shoot- No, it's off the rim! It's out! 14 00:03:35,395 --> 00:03:37,329 It's still Idaho leading, 38-32. 15 00:03:37,397 --> 00:03:39,262 Holy cow! I got Idaho! 16 00:03:39,332 --> 00:03:42,267 These fans are going wild! 17 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,640 Aloha, aloha, aloha! It's Kiahuna Pete! 18 00:03:54,414 --> 00:03:58,510 Yes, folks, if you can find a better deal than right here at Kiahuna Pete's, 19 00:03:58,585 --> 00:04:01,850 Hawaii? I will personally eat a pineapple- 20 00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:04,322 yes, skin, leaves, the works! 21 00:04:04,391 --> 00:04:06,325 Oh, here's a fixer-upper. 22 00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:09,829 Owned by a little old lady from Pomona Valley- 23 00:04:31,585 --> 00:04:33,780 Dad! 24 00:04:33,853 --> 00:04:35,787 Dad! Come here, quick! 25 00:04:38,358 --> 00:04:40,292 Dad! 26 00:04:41,328 --> 00:04:43,262 Dad! Hurry up, hurry up! 27 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,764 I got China, Dad! I picked up China! 28 00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:49,097 China? I think you mean Chinatown, son. No! Really! Look! 29 00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:53,105 I got Idaho, and then I got Hawaii, and now China! 30 00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:56,700 My antenna works! It really works! It looks like China. 31 00:05:08,622 --> 00:05:10,954 This'll have to be- 32 00:05:11,024 --> 00:05:13,458 No. Okay, you know- Yeah, you have to- 33 00:05:13,526 --> 00:05:16,518 No, you put that in after. All right. 34 00:05:17,664 --> 00:05:20,599 All right- Hey, be careful when you put that in. Not too much. 35 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,602 Oh! Last night my antenna got this really clear picture. 36 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,605 Our antenna, Brain. You keep forgetting this is a team project. 37 00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,607 Yeah, because you two aren't helping. 38 00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:31,610 But you kicked us out of your house last night. Because you aren't helping. 39 00:05:31,678 --> 00:05:34,613 Yeah, well, you think you're helping with this "I got China" stuff? I did! 40 00:05:34,681 --> 00:05:38,117 Pass the hydrochloric, please. Yeah, yeah. We're all probably gonna get three F's. 41 00:05:38,184 --> 00:05:40,049 Hey, George, this is the Brain talking. 42 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,554 If he says he's got it, he's got it. 43 00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:45,750 Look, if you want to you can come over tonight and see for yourselves. 44 00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:47,759 Tonight? Yeah. 45 00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:50,762 I don't know. Why not? 46 00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:54,823 Well, uh, I read the listings, and there's nothing good on in China. 47 00:05:55,902 --> 00:05:58,427 Whoa, whoa. Uh-oh. 48 00:05:58,505 --> 00:06:02,100 Boy, look at that. It's amazing. 49 00:06:02,175 --> 00:06:05,303 Give me a break. It worked yesterday. 50 00:06:05,378 --> 00:06:07,312 Here, let me help you. 51 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:09,541 George! Hands off! Well, hey, it's a team project! 52 00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:12,949 - Hey! Wait a minute! Freeze! What's going on? - What's happening? 53 00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:15,453 Hey! Watch it! Hey, freeze. 54 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:17,217 Freeze! 55 00:06:26,132 --> 00:06:28,066 What is it? It's not from China. 56 00:06:28,134 --> 00:06:29,999 It's not from Earth. 57 00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,868 Wow. What? 58 00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,873 You know what this is? 59 00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:37,136 It's a signal from another planet. 60 00:06:38,545 --> 00:06:42,481 Who knows how strong this antenna is? If it picked up China, why not? 61 00:06:42,549 --> 00:06:44,517 If he's right, we'll all get A's! 62 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:49,180 The way I figure it, the closest sun that can support a solar system like ours is ten light-years away. 63 00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:53,521 You mean, this signal was transmitted from another planet, 64 00:06:53,593 --> 00:06:55,527 like, ten years ago? 65 00:06:55,595 --> 00:06:57,358 Exactly! 66 00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:02,901 Oh, Ricky! 67 00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:07,065 All right, Brain, this time you've gone too far. Okay, Jimmy, you explain it. 68 00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:10,268 Do they look and talk like anything you've ever seen? You have any idea what they're doing? 69 00:07:10,343 --> 00:07:13,870 - Yeah, I think I do. - What? 70 00:07:13,947 --> 00:07:17,576 Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I think they're doing I Love Lucy. 71 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:20,016 I Love Lucy? You're nuts! 72 00:07:20,086 --> 00:07:23,317 Yeah. Yeah, I've seen this episode a million times. 73 00:07:23,389 --> 00:07:26,381 Now watch, here come the Mertzes. Their furnace just blew up. 74 00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:31,192 Ohh! 75 00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,198 Is this possible? 76 00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:36,201 We're getting their transmission from 10 years ago. 77 00:07:36,269 --> 00:07:39,261 They must have gotten ours from 20 or more. 78 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:46,371 Listen. It's the same song. 79 00:07:46,446 --> 00:07:48,380 L-I can't believe this. 80 00:07:48,448 --> 00:07:51,076 W-We're actually watching TV from outer space. 81 00:07:51,151 --> 00:07:53,142 Got any nachos? 82 00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:09,334 Burns and Allen. Six shows, six rip-offs. 83 00:08:09,402 --> 00:08:11,336 Why don't they make up their own shows? 84 00:08:11,404 --> 00:08:14,771 I don't know. Maybe it's not a funny planet. 85 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:22,114 Good night, Gracie. 86 00:08:22,182 --> 00:08:24,116 Hmm. Bye! 87 00:08:38,665 --> 00:08:40,599 Guys, come here. 88 00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:51,510 Hey, looks like astronauts. 89 00:08:51,578 --> 00:08:53,512 Yeah. Wonder where they're going. 90 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:55,514 Hey! That looks familiar. 91 00:08:55,582 --> 00:08:59,848 It should, Jim. It's Earth. Earth? We're Earth. 92 00:09:01,788 --> 00:09:05,849 Hollywood. 93 00:09:05,925 --> 00:09:08,519 My God. They're coming here! 94 00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:11,325 Why? I don't know. Everybody comes here. 95 00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:15,390 Hollywood. Grauman's Chinese Theater. 96 00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,402 Vine Street. 97 00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:21,372 Hey, these- these are the old TV stars that they love: 98 00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:25,377 Lucy, Milton Berle, 99 00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:27,504 Jackie Gleason. 100 00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:29,912 Maybe they're coming to get their autographs. 101 00:09:29,983 --> 00:09:32,349 What are we gonna do? 102 00:09:32,418 --> 00:09:36,354 Nothing. Hey, Jimmy, we got aliens coming to Hollywood. 103 00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:38,856 These signals take 10 years to get here. 104 00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,860 This all happened 10 years ago. Yeah, but they took off 10 years ago. 105 00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:44,362 I mean, when they land is anyone's guess. 106 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:48,059 You'd have to figure out where they're coming from, how fast- No, no. No. Look. 107 00:09:48,134 --> 00:09:51,501 September 13, 1985. 108 00:09:51,571 --> 00:09:53,505 That's tonight! 109 00:09:53,573 --> 00:09:55,564 They're coming tonight. 110 00:10:01,648 --> 00:10:06,108 All right, look for people that look like they're from another planet. 111 00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:08,915 Everyone looks like they're from another planet. 112 00:10:19,465 --> 00:10:21,296 Maybe we can try- 113 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:23,358 Excuse me. No. 114 00:10:28,641 --> 00:10:31,804 What are we gonna do? We're never gonna find 'em. 115 00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:54,299 It's them. 116 00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,301 We found 'em. Can we go home now? 117 00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,894 Yeah. 118 00:11:00,673 --> 00:11:02,504 Don't be afraid. 119 00:11:04,677 --> 00:11:07,339 We're not gonna hurt you. It's okay. 120 00:11:15,455 --> 00:11:17,446 What's that? 121 00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:43,782 Andy, play it back. 122 00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,944 What is it? It's an old TV signal. NBC. 123 00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:59,421 Wow. 124 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:11,602 Temperatures are expected to reach a high of 94 here- 125 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:14,111 Okay, here we are. 126 00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:16,114 There we go. 127 00:12:16,182 --> 00:12:18,116 Okay, who gets the cheeseburger? Me. 128 00:12:18,184 --> 00:12:20,118 Okay. Who gets the hamburger? 129 00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:23,121 All right. For you. This is well-done. Right? 130 00:12:23,189 --> 00:12:25,123 One for you too. 131 00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:27,125 Whoops. Sorry about that. 132 00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:29,661 And I guess you get what's left. Right? Right. 133 00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:32,095 Here you are. 134 00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,759 Thank you very much. 135 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:42,770 Mmm! Oh! 136 00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,833 No, no, no, no. Like this. 137 00:12:46,412 --> 00:12:48,403 Ohh! 138 00:12:55,488 --> 00:12:57,615 Good thing we ordered the large. 139 00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:06,054 Ohh! 140 00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,796 Sugar on a hamburger? 141 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,803 How gross. 142 00:13:11,871 --> 00:13:14,169 Ah. 143 00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:38,024 I think we're gonna need some more hamburgers. 144 00:13:38,097 --> 00:13:40,759 These guys look hungry enough to eat a horse. 145 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,666 Horse! 146 00:13:45,571 --> 00:13:47,766 - Horse. - Horse? 147 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,172 LittleJoe. 148 00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:52,143 LittleJoe? 149 00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,771 Hop Sing! 150 00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:56,576 Ponderosa! 151 00:13:56,649 --> 00:13:58,776 Ponderosa! 152 00:14:06,025 --> 00:14:09,085 Hop Sing! 153 00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:27,545 A real spaceship! 154 00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:31,310 R.F.D. Seven. Stinkola moronica. 155 00:14:31,384 --> 00:14:34,979 Why don't we pay for this with this quick-drying melted rubber? 156 00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:40,056 Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! 157 00:14:44,263 --> 00:14:47,061 Why, you- Come on! Oh, don't do that! 158 00:14:50,536 --> 00:14:52,470 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! 159 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:54,563 Oh, he broke it... I hope! No, he didn't. 160 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,131 Oh! Why, you- 161 00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:59,144 Waa-waa-waa-waa-waa! 162 00:15:01,214 --> 00:15:04,308 Get outta here! Oh! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! 163 00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:07,546 Me Moe! Me Moe! 164 00:15:09,188 --> 00:15:12,123 They must really trust us to bring us here. 165 00:15:12,191 --> 00:15:14,455 We must really trust them to come. 166 00:15:14,527 --> 00:15:17,087 Yeah. I can't believe we're actually on a spaceship. 167 00:15:17,163 --> 00:15:19,597 Boy, what I wouldn't give for just one picture. 168 00:15:27,673 --> 00:15:29,664 Thanks. 169 00:15:34,513 --> 00:15:37,914 Movie star tour! Tour of the stars' homes! 170 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,975 Real movie stars! Live! 171 00:15:40,052 --> 00:15:42,987 Why are we doing this? They're tourists. They'll love it. 172 00:15:43,055 --> 00:15:45,990 Don't worry. They'll fit right in. You wish. 173 00:15:46,058 --> 00:15:47,992 Step up, please. Step up. 174 00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,995 Tickets, please. Tickets. Thank you very much. Watch your step here. 175 00:15:51,063 --> 00:15:52,997 Tickets, please. 176 00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:54,999 Ralph Kramden! 177 00:15:57,069 --> 00:16:01,199 Thank you very much. Find a comfortable seat. Enjoy the tour. Tickets, please. 178 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,310 If you look out the right side of the bus, 179 00:16:05,378 --> 00:16:10,281 you'll see the home of America's number-one funny man, Mr. Morey Amsterdam. 180 00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:12,840 Yes, there's Morey Amsterdam's home. 181 00:16:12,918 --> 00:16:14,909 Hey! 182 00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:18,580 Is that the new Polaroid? 183 00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:22,993 Could it be? Well, I think it is! 184 00:16:23,062 --> 00:16:28,432 Ladies and gentlemen, look out the left side of the bus. It's Uncle Miltie himself! 185 00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:30,264 How about that? 186 00:16:32,171 --> 00:16:33,968 What's going on? Who's that guy? 187 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,601 It's Milton Berle. He's one of the biggest comedy stars TV ever had. 188 00:16:37,677 --> 00:16:39,668 Uncle Miltie! 189 00:16:39,745 --> 00:16:42,009 Bye-bye! 190 00:16:48,387 --> 00:16:52,346 Hi, Uncle Miltie! 191 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,321 I love you. 192 00:17:11,043 --> 00:17:14,979 There's a switch. Somebody stealing from Berle? 193 00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:18,847 They don't mean to bother you, Mr. Berle. They're just real big fans of yours. 194 00:17:18,918 --> 00:17:20,818 What do they want? Autographs? 195 00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:33,058 I do not understand one word they said. 196 00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:34,895 Hey! Oh! 197 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,993 Stop it- Tell me, fellas, what do they want? 198 00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:39,935 It's kinda hard to explain. 199 00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:43,202 Um, you see, they love the TV shows that you used to make. 200 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:50,041 And now they want you to go back with them to make some more. 201 00:17:51,183 --> 00:17:54,641 - What are they doing now? - Negotiating. 202 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,746 Negotiating. Oh. 203 00:17:57,823 --> 00:17:59,723 Well, thank you. 204 00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:02,522 Gave me a cigar. 205 00:18:02,595 --> 00:18:04,859 Thank you very, very much. 206 00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,921 You're very cute. 207 00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:12,603 Uh-oh. 208 00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:18,609 That is the worst cigar I ever smoked. Will you forget it. Forget it! 209 00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,669 I cannot work in a place that doesn't have a decent cigar. 210 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:28,279 Guys? Guys, he said no. 211 00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:30,413 No! 212 00:18:30,489 --> 00:18:34,755 - How are we gonna get them to understand? - Leave it to me. 213 00:18:47,273 --> 00:18:49,207 Booked. 214 00:18:56,782 --> 00:18:58,716 Too busy. 215 00:18:58,784 --> 00:19:01,810 Ohh! 216 00:19:03,789 --> 00:19:05,723 I believe they understood me. 217 00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:08,624 We've gotta do something. 218 00:19:09,695 --> 00:19:11,629 They're really depressed. 219 00:19:11,697 --> 00:19:13,631 Nobody would go home with them. 220 00:19:13,699 --> 00:19:17,032 We never should have told them Lucy and Desi split up. 221 00:19:17,102 --> 00:19:19,468 It's gonna be a long trip home. 222 00:19:20,473 --> 00:19:22,703 I'll get it. 223 00:19:27,246 --> 00:19:31,182 Wonderful! Come in! All right, now don't push. Take it easy. 224 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,184 I get paid weekly. 225 00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:35,186 Very weakly. 226 00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:37,188 Look at it. I love it! 227 00:19:37,256 --> 00:19:40,851 Just like home! I told her her stockings were wrinkled. She said she wasn't wearing any stockings! 228 00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:43,861 Who are these guys? My mother was frightened by a porcupine! Ho-ho! 229 00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:45,863 Vaudevillians. Where did you get 'em? 230 00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:47,865 My grandfather's senior citizen club. 231 00:19:47,933 --> 00:19:50,697 They're kinda old. Nobody else was available! 232 00:19:50,769 --> 00:19:54,261 Besides, they've agreed to go back home with them. 233 00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:03,676 Hi! I'm Professor Feathers, bringing you sounds and songs of field and stream. 234 00:20:03,749 --> 00:20:07,014 The mallard drake. 235 00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,554 The Pacific eider duck. 236 00:20:09,622 --> 00:20:12,648 The blue-winged teal. 237 00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:15,125 The California mockingbird. 238 00:20:17,429 --> 00:20:19,363 Now the typewriter. 239 00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:24,492 Ding! 240 00:20:27,473 --> 00:20:29,464 Ding. 241 00:20:40,486 --> 00:20:44,582 Ladies and gentlemen, my new national anthem! 242 00:20:44,657 --> 00:20:47,057 Words and music by me! 243 00:21:29,902 --> 00:21:31,836 My name is Jack Spoons, 244 00:21:31,904 --> 00:21:33,838 formerly with Billy Rose's Diamond Horseshoe. 245 00:21:33,906 --> 00:21:37,342 Take it away, my boy. 246 00:21:37,409 --> 00:21:41,743 Wow! 247 00:21:55,728 --> 00:21:58,094 Wow! 248 00:22:05,037 --> 00:22:06,800 Whoa! Wow! 249 00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:10,131 Wow! 250 00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:57,389 Thank you. 251 00:22:59,525 --> 00:23:01,959 Thank you. Thank you. 252 00:23:02,027 --> 00:23:03,961 Take care. Thank you. 253 00:23:04,029 --> 00:23:06,463 Thank you three boys and- 254 00:23:06,532 --> 00:23:08,466 Thank you very much. 255 00:23:08,534 --> 00:23:11,128 Let's go, Jerry. 256 00:23:11,203 --> 00:23:13,137 You guys are funny. 257 00:23:13,205 --> 00:23:15,332 Thank you. You're welcome. 258 00:23:15,407 --> 00:23:17,773 Thank you. 259 00:23:22,848 --> 00:23:26,579 Those old vaudeville guys sure are lucky. They really are. 260 00:23:26,652 --> 00:23:29,849 They'll never believe us. Who cares? 261 00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:37,094 Think they'll ever come back? 262 00:23:37,162 --> 00:23:39,096 They love our talent. 263 00:23:39,164 --> 00:23:41,724 Andrew! No reason why they won't come back and get more. 264 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,734 What's going on up there? 265 00:23:43,802 --> 00:23:45,827 Hey, what you doin'? Practicing. 19817

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