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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:49,420 Oh. A newlywed couple just moved to town. 2 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,012 A regular husband and wife. 3 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:58,560 Who left the big city To find a quiet life. 4 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,309 WandaVision! 5 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,607 She's a magical gal In a small town locale. 6 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,275 He's a hubby who's part machine. 7 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,617 How will this duo fit in and fulfill all? 8 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:23,924 By sharing a love like you've never seen. 9 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:31,381 WandaVision! 10 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,356 My wife and her flying saucers. 11 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,952 My husband and his indestructible head. 12 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,209 Aren't we a fine pair? 13 00:01:56,241 --> 00:02:01,121 What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, 14 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,365 freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee? 15 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,537 I say, "Oh, I don't eat food." 16 00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,882 Well, that explains the empty refrigerator. 17 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,380 - Wanda? - Hmm? 18 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,053 Is there something special about today? 19 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,639 Well, I know the apron is a bit much, dear, 20 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,971 but I am doing my best to blend in. 21 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,387 No, no, there on the calendar. 22 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,055 Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date. 23 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,073 - Oh, yes, the heart. - Hmm... 24 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,284 Well, don't tell me you have forgotten, Vis. 25 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,401 "Forgotten"? 26 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,046 Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. 27 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,662 That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration. 28 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,702 Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date. 29 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,040 What was the question again? 30 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,342 Oh, well, perhaps, you've forgotten yourself. 31 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,207 Me? Heavens, no. I've been so looking forward to it. 32 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:53,467 As have I. Today, we are celebrating... 33 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,379 You bet we are. 34 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,717 - It's the first time we... - Mmm-hmm. 35 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,564 ...have ever celebrated this occasion before. 36 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,230 It's a special day! 37 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,348 - Perhaps an evening... - Of great significance... 38 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,515 - To us both! - Naturally. 39 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,063 - Obviously. - Exactly. 40 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:09,981 Well done, us. 41 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,904 All right. 42 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,361 Well, that's me off to work, then. 43 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,112 Oh, don't forget! 44 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,160 I haven't. 45 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,239 Oh! 46 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,123 Have a good day, dear! 47 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,021 Oh! 48 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,855 Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. 49 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,483 My right, not yours. 50 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,488 Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. 51 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,121 My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. 52 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,828 So, what's your name? Where are you from? 53 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,461 And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon? 54 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,373 I'm Wanda. 55 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,131 Wanda. Charmed. 56 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,712 Golly, you settled in fast! 57 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,337 Did you use a moving company? 58 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:21,351 I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves. 59 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,851 So what's a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house? 60 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,728 Oh, no, I'm not single. Oh, I don't see a ring. 61 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,151 Well, I assure you I'm married. 62 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,694 To a man. A human one and tall. 63 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,195 As a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion. 64 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,858 Just the two of us. Oh, is it somebody's birthday? 65 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,528 Not a birthday. 66 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,276 Well, today isn't a holiday, is it? 67 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:48,207 No, it's not a holiday. An anniversary then? 68 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,383 Ye... Yes! Yes! It's our anniversary! 69 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,375 Oh, how marvelous! How many years? 70 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,594 Well, it feels like we've always been together. 71 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,085 Lucky gal. 72 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,047 The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary 73 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,267 is if there was a beer named June 2nd. 74 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,058 - So, what do you have planned? - How do you mean? 75 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,693 For your special night. 76 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,651 A young thing like you doesn't have to do much, 77 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,033 but it's still fun to set the scene. 78 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,778 Say, I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article 79 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,914 called "How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband," 80 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,583 and let me tell you, what Ralph could really use 81 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,422 is, "How To Goose Your Wife So You Don't Lose Your Wife." 82 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,209 Hang on. I'll go grab it and we can start planning. 83 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,626 Oh, this is gonna be a gas! 84 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,593 Oh... 85 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:49,184 Or you don't go out Friday night Yakety yak! 86 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,348 You just put on your coat and hat. 87 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:57,768 Here are those computational forms that you requested, Norm. 88 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,525 There you go. 89 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,607 Gee willikers, that was fast! 90 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,565 Hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it, pal? 91 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,197 In terms of distraction from work, 92 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,624 or the largely nonsensical nature of the lyrics? 93 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,289 - The first one. - Ah, no, thank you, Norm. 94 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,093 Hey, is there somethin' I can help you with, buddy? 95 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,461 Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. 96 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:24,716 Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here exactly? 97 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,179 Do we make something? 98 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,562 - No. - Right. 99 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,059 Do we buy or sell something? 100 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,351 No and no. 101 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,734 Then what is the purpose of this company? 102 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,402 All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%. 103 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,735 Yes, but what is it we're producing? 104 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,198 Computational forms. 105 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,698 And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. 106 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,491 You're like a walking computer. 107 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,624 What? I most certainly am not. 108 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,791 I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, 109 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,831 much like yourself, Norm. 110 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,745 Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled? 111 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,842 Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge. 112 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,921 You see, it appears there's something special about today, 113 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,627 special to Wanda, that's my wife, 114 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,677 and gee, I can't, for the life of me, recall what it is. 115 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,635 Mmm... Oh! 116 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:14,849 Good to see you. 117 00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,654 - Vision. - Yes? 118 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,688 Wife and I are looking forward to this evening. 119 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,775 Mr. Hart. Of course! 120 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,197 Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. 121 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,029 That's what I said. What's wrong with you? 122 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,414 - Have you got a screw loose? - Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir. 123 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,042 Yes, I should hope so. 124 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,078 Employee dinners are a rite of passage 125 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,542 - for the new hires. - Ah. 126 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,422 Jones over there failed miserably. 127 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,749 Isn't that right, Jones? 128 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,416 The wife thought five courses would be sufficient. 129 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,384 And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment. 130 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:46,467 A string quartet? 131 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,260 And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm. 132 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,715 I wore a turtleneck. 133 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,853 Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones. 134 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,734 You know, I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. 135 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,190 No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision? 136 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110 I don't have a skeleton, sir. 137 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,276 Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it. 138 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,819 And you don't have a song? 139 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,751 Nothing special you played at your wedding? 140 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,043 No, nothing special. 141 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,253 I'll just loan you some records then. 142 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,384 So, we've got music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! 143 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,797 What about seduction techniques? 144 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,853 Oh, I have those. 145 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,810 Of course, you do. 146 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,979 Just out of curiosity, what does it say? 147 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,610 That you should stumble when you walk into a room so he can catch you. 148 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,073 It's romantic. 149 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,729 Any other tricks? 150 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,777 You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men. 151 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,576 Now, that's romantic. 152 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,200 Oh! 153 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,384 Vision residence. 154 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,498 - Wanda, darling. - Vision, sweetheart. 155 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,665 Listen, about tonight... 156 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,133 Don't worry, dear. I have everything under control. 157 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,675 Oh, well, that is a relief. 158 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,258 I must confess, I'm really rather nervous. 159 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,425 "Nervous"? Whatever for? 160 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,023 Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied. 161 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,688 Vis, after all this time... 162 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,770 There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. 163 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,645 If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end. 164 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,910 Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic. 165 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,830 Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife. 166 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,999 And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband. 167 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,121 Well, wonderful! 168 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,037 Glad to know we're both on the same page. 169 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,626 Until tonight, then, my, darling. 170 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,921 Until tonight. 171 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,798 Oh... 172 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,348 Is your husband tired of you burning his toast? 173 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,644 Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000. 174 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,306 It's the go-to for clever housewives. 175 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,686 Say, this machine has some shine. 176 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,904 You said it. 177 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,074 Set the dial and get the taste back into your toast. 178 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,287 Top and bottom heating elements can handle anything 179 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,540 from meatloaf, to cherry pie, to open-faced cheese sandwiches. 180 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,509 The all new ToastMate 2000 by Stark Industries. 181 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,516 Forget the past. This is your future. 182 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,439 Here we are! 183 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,856 Oh! 184 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,943 How very atmospheric! 185 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,527 What's going on here, Vision? You blow a fuse? 186 00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,333 Pardon me while I just go and fetch the lady of the house. 187 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,745 Guess who? 188 00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,542 Wanda! 189 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,168 Vision. 190 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,593 Oh! Oh! 191 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,211 Ah... 192 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,627 What is the meaning of this? 193 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,835 Well, what is... 194 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,256 Yeah, what is the meaning of... 195 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,394 Oh, the meaning of it! 196 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,810 You want to know the meaning of it and the meaning of it 197 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:26,309 is that this is the traditional Sokovian greeting of hospitality. 198 00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,189 - Guess who? - Is that my host behind me? 199 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,403 It certainly is. 200 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,862 - Lovely to make your acquaintance. - Yes! 201 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,363 See, I forgot to tell you my wife is from Europe. 202 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,236 Oh, how exotic! 203 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,163 We don't break bread with Bolsheviks. 204 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,662 Oh, hush, Arthur! 205 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,293 Have you no culture at all? 206 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,501 And that dress! 207 00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:50,421 Yes! It's... It's so... Sokovian, is what it is! Yes! 208 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,379 Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart? 209 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,474 Oh, yes! 210 00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,973 - Who are those people? - What are you wearing? 211 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013 - Why are they here? - What are you wearing? 212 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,427 Well, it's our anniversary! 213 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,765 Our anniversary of what? 214 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,270 Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you! 215 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,398 That... That man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart! 216 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,231 And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart! 217 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:16,067 The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation! 218 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,323 You move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. 219 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,816 Who needs to abbreviate? 220 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,948 Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, 221 00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,866 - that stunning outfit... - Well... 222 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,254 I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now... 223 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,752 Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. 224 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,844 Exactly. 225 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,960 Any chance they'd settle 226 00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,666 for a single chocolate-covered strawberry split three ways? 227 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,591 Uh... I might have a better idea. 228 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,312 Hmm. 229 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,305 So I said, "If we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically", 230 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,193 "we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost." 231 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,653 You truly are a pioneer! 232 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,363 But the larger purpose of the forms is... 233 00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,414 Was to analyze our input and our output. Huh. 234 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,238 You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision? 235 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,699 Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver! 236 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,328 What kind of housewife would I be 237 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,714 if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place? 238 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,793 Well... 239 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,417 Not that Ralph ever wants to eat anything but baked beans 240 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:19,415 which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you. 241 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,802 - Oh, my! - Oh! Oh! 242 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,845 Do you think Wanda needs help in the kitchen? 243 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,639 We haven't any tidbits or tartlets out here, 244 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,143 nary a pig in a blanket. No, that... 245 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,638 No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart. 246 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,857 But I'm sure she's absolutely fine in there! 247 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,319 Oh, thank you, Agnes. I think I've got it covered from here. 248 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,639 - Oh, are you sure, dear? - Hmm. 249 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,901 Many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip. 250 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,408 You're so naughty! 251 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,409 Oh, shall I just pre-heat the oven then, dear? 252 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,831 - That won't be necessary. - Oh, All right, then. 253 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,830 Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap. 254 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,623 Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced meat turnovers to start. 255 00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,748 Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, 256 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,206 and Steak Diane and mint jellies for your main. 257 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,512 Do you set your own jellies, dear? 258 00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,591 - Yes. - Good girl. 259 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,676 Recipe cards are on the counter there. 260 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,011 Bon appétit! 261 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,506 Oh! 262 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,023 Oh, oh. 263 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,152 You men stay put. 264 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,608 - I sense a domestic emergency, so... - Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't. 265 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,530 You... Please... 266 00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:22,649 Yeah, take out the papers and the trash. 267 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,068 Or you won't get no spending cash. 268 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,871 If you don't scrub the kitchen floor. 269 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,828 You ain't gonna rock and roll no more. 270 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,794 Yakety yak! Don't talk back. 271 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:42,514 Well, why don't we have a nice sing-a-long, all together then, shall we? 272 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,047 Oh, no, too much! 273 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,140 Oh, no, not enough! 274 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,478 Old MacDonald had a farm. 275 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,312 Ee-I-Ee-I-O. 276 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,397 And on that farm he had a... 277 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,818 had a... 278 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,445 Pig. 279 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,070 Ee-I-Ee-I-O. 280 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,196 - With a... - Oink, oink... 281 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,355 - Here and a... - Oink, oink... 282 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,947 - There. - Here an oink, there an oink. 283 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,115 Everywhere an oink, oink. 284 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,333 Old MacDonald had a farm. 285 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,923 Ee-I-Ee-I-O. 286 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,739 Oh, what was I supposed to do next? Oh, what was the main course again? 287 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,291 It was... Steak... 288 00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,748 No. Steak... 289 00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,588 Steak... Diane! 290 00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:23,723 Yes? 291 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,140 Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me. 292 00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,298 She calls you "Diane?" 293 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,055 Yes, it's her pet name for me. 294 00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,233 I'm just coming, Fred. 295 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,194 Excuse me a moment. 296 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,239 Oh, no. 297 00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,324 How can I be of assistance? 298 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,907 Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop 299 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,624 so the steak is the last man standing. 300 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,291 It says here I can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer. 301 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,544 Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer? 302 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,460 - I'm looking at him. - Ah. Hoo-hoo in there! 303 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,336 Hoo-hoo back to you! 304 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Okay. 305 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,644 Finish the meat, find the lobsters. I'll be right back. 306 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,889 I hope you're hungry. Starved, is more like it. 307 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,394 My head is starting to feel woozy. 308 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,444 Were either of you aware 309 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,862 that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate? 310 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,606 What are you going on about? 311 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,905 And what's going on in there? 312 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,528 Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho! 313 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:34,367 Who could that be? 314 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,213 Coming! 315 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,211 Oh, you didn't answer the back door. 316 00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,921 For your upside-down cake. 317 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,921 Oh! Hi, I... 318 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003 Who was that? 319 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,587 - A salesman! - Telegram! 320 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,472 A man selling telegrams. 321 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,639 Wouldn't you know it. Good news is more expensive. 322 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,681 I couldn't find the lobsters and did you want the meat tender or pulverized? 323 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,934 Oh, dear. 324 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,600 Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. 325 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,522 Anyone for Parcheesi? 326 00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,568 - My head is spinning. - Oh, Mrs. Hart... 327 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,029 Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. 328 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,321 Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that. 329 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,744 Time to improvise. 330 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,405 You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Vision. 331 00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,117 You know, I had high hopes for you. 332 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,837 But from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. 333 00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,919 I mean, look around. There's all this chaos going on in your household. 334 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,383 Now, when are we gonna eat? 335 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,046 Dinner is served. 336 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,427 Ah! 337 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,270 Breakfast for dinner? 338 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,191 How very... European. 339 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,520 Ooh! Let's have a toast! 340 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:47,484 To my lovely and talented wife. 341 00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,859 To our esteemed guests. 342 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,315 Yes. Cin cin. 343 00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,405 Cheers. 344 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,543 Well, please eat before it gets cold. 345 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,498 - Hmm? - Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me. 346 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,418 So, where did you two move from? 347 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,131 What brought you here? 348 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,499 How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet? 349 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:16,716 I think what my wife means to say is that we moved from... 350 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,515 Yes, we moved from... 351 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,443 And we were married... 352 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,228 Yes, yes, we were married in... 353 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,358 Well? Moved from where? Married when? 354 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,483 Now, patience, Arthur. 355 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,778 They're setting up their story. Let them tell it. 356 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,237 We... Our story... 357 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,581 Yes, what exactly is your story? 358 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,540 Oh, just leave the poor kids alone. 359 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,036 No, really, I mean, I think it's a perfectly simple question. 360 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,961 Honestly. 361 00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,253 Why did you come here? 362 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,964 Why? 363 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,545 Damn it, why? Why did you... 364 00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,972 Oh, Arthur, stop it. 365 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,345 Stop it. 366 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,226 Stop it. 367 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,323 Stop it. Stop it. 368 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,739 Stop it. 369 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,202 Stop it. 370 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,252 Stop it. 371 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,537 Stop it. Stop it. 372 00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:26,674 Stop it. 373 00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:28,835 Stop it. 374 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,959 Vision, help him. 375 00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:45,977 Let me help you up. 376 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,478 Give me your hand. 377 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,571 All right, steady on, sir. 378 00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,239 Well, would you look at the time? 379 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,775 Yes. We'd better be going. 380 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,160 Well... Are you both all right? 381 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,333 We had such a lovely time. 382 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,090 This guest is leaving your home. 383 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,924 Yes, thank you for coming. 384 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,552 You made me proud tonight, son. 385 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,425 First thing Monday morning, you and me are gonna have a little chat. 386 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,639 We'll see about that promotion. 387 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,885 Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! 388 00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:29,562 Thank you. 389 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,322 Oh... 390 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,907 What a charming door knocker. 391 00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,448 Good night! 392 00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,957 We are an unusual couple, ya know? 393 00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,916 Oh, I don't think that was ever in question. 394 00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:00,763 Well, what I mean is... We don't have an anniversary. 395 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,554 - Huh. - Or a song. 396 00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:06,135 Or even wedding rings. Well, we could remedy that. 397 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,308 Today could be our anniversary. 398 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,983 Of what? Surviving our first dinner party? 399 00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,523 Precisely. And our song could be? 400 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,897 Yakety Yak, naturally. 401 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:15,983 - Naturally. - Hmm. 402 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,653 And the rings? 403 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,530 Well, couldn't you make some for us? 404 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,706 I do. 405 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,792 Do you? 406 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,212 Yes. I do. 407 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,876 And they lived happily ever after. 30528

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