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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
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-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:05,633
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,709 --> 00:00:07,419
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
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♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,125
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
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♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
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00:00:11,792 --> 00:00:14,132
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,208 --> 00:00:16,538
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,285
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
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00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,169
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:22,580
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,167
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
15
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♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,670
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:30,920
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
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Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,040
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
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I hate dogs.
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♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
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♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
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I do not wish to be a dog.
24
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♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,456
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,542 --> 00:00:49,082
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
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Yes!
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[Mrs. Helperman] Well, good golly gosh,
they're not here, either.
30
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,205
Oh, for the love
of apples and corn, Leonard,
31
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,001
how could you lose your gym shorts?
32
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-I don't know.
-Today is the vip fitooty.
33
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,876
You don't want to miss the vip fitooty.
34
00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,129
No, I don't want to miss the vip fitooty.
35
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,038
I love the vip fitooty.
36
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Ohh!
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00:01:26,542 --> 00:01:29,002
Oh, I hate the vip fitooty.
38
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,923
Excuse me, but are you
going to tell me
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what this rooti shibooti means,
40
00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,709
or are you going to just
keep torturing me here?
41
00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:38,882
It's vip fitooty --
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00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,709
the vice president's
fitness test of the year.
43
00:01:41,792 --> 00:01:44,382
It's a stupid thing where
they make you climb ropes
44
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and run around on a big obstacle course.
45
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:48,919
It's strictly for jocks...
46
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,250
Ooh, a triple salchow
with a fosbury flop.
47
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:55,543
And unnaturally talented dogs.
48
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:58,125
Morning, Lenny.
49
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Any luck finding the gym shorts
50
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,003
you lost on purpose?
51
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:03,333
Come on. I didn't lose
my shorts on purpose.
52
00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:05,877
I must have just misplaced them somewhere.
53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,129
Found 'em!
54
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,168
They were crammed
into a coffee can
55
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,210
in the back
of the freezer.
56
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,878
Hey, Mr. Jolly,
57
00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,879
fat in a fur suit, come out.
58
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,289
The coast is clear.
59
00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:21,167
The news is on.
60
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,920
[dramatic music plays]
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Where are you, Jolly?
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00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,884
Jolly!
63
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:29,789
Mr. Jolly.
64
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:31,705
Jolly?
65
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:34,832
And in other news,
the East Westland cat burglar
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00:02:34,917 --> 00:02:36,377
has struck again.
67
00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:38,788
Cat burglar! Mr. Jolly's been burgled!
68
00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:41,785
Who would steal a poor cat?
Who would want that hairball?
69
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,455
It doesn't matter. He's gone.
70
00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:45,672
I've got to get help.
I've got to get Leonard and Spot.
71
00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:51,995
[toilet flushes]
72
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[sighs]
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There are few pleasures so underestimated.
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00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,673
Don't you agree, Pretty Boy?
75
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:00,880
Pretty Boy?
76
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:01,959
Pretty Boy!
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00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:04,041
Pretty!
78
00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:05,035
Pret?
79
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,630
Pretty Boy?
80
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,959
Where is he? Why isn't he
here to watch TV?
81
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,461
Oh, no! What if the cat got him?
82
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:19,212
Oh, that's me.
83
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:21,578
Aah!
84
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,667
I've got to get help!
85
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:26,170
I've got to get Leonard and Spot.
86
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:32,667
Ooh! Aah! Outside's bad!
87
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:35,540
Must overcome fears.
88
00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:39,581
[children talking]
89
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:43,287
This is one heck of a school.
Where's all the darn kids?
90
00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,325
[bell rings]
91
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,327
Aah!
92
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:54,082
Oh. There they are.
93
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:56,076
Today you will be pushed
94
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,956
to the very limit of human endurance
95
00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,251
as you punish your bodies
96
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,253
in the pursuit of athletic excellence,
97
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:06,253
because never forget, a fit body
98
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,543
is the sign of a fit mind.
99
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,995
Uh... um...
100
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,833
Fit mind-- fit mind --
101
00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:14,417
fit body a sign of--
102
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,920
I've lost my place.
103
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,000
Lost your cat, too, dude.
104
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:21,083
Aah! My poor Tallulah!
105
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,956
You're in charge till I get back.
106
00:04:24,041 --> 00:04:26,881
Okay, P.B., that was a momentary setback.
107
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:30,039
Got to find Leonard
so we can save Mr. Jolly.
108
00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,995
It's about the cat, all about the-- cat!
109
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:35,503
I didn't know they were serving canary
110
00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:36,923
for lunch today.
111
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,080
Just so you know before you eat me,
112
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:41,076
I was recently diagnosed with salmonella.
113
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:44,036
Time to say goodbye.
114
00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,705
Hello?
115
00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:47,882
Leonard?
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00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:51,079
He's obviously not here
in this empty, scary hallway,
117
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,036
so I'll just skedaddle on home,
118
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:55,125
which I promise I will never leave again.
119
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,998
Okay, now, um,
120
00:04:58,083 --> 00:05:00,253
"students must climb the giant rope
121
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,003
using wrist-over-hand action
122
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:05,923
combined with vertically
directed knee shinnying."
123
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,880
I wonder what that is.
124
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,749
Like this?
125
00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:13,537
Ha ha ha!
126
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,035
Very good, Scott.
127
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:19,131
I'm blowing this pop stand
before I get myself --
128
00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:21,208
[Leonard] Got to make it to the top.
129
00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:23,131
Go for the gold!
130
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,288
Leonard!
131
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:26,915
Leonard!
132
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,540
Sweetie, if you want to climb the rope
133
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:34,125
I'm pretty sure first you
have to touch the rope.
134
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,708
Come on, son. You can do it.
135
00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:40,832
Great start. Fantastic start.
136
00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,917
What a way to begin. That's just --
137
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,170
I'll stop embarrassing you now.
138
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:49,380
Oh, great-- a dark, enclosed space.
139
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:53,038
Okay, I can do it. I can do it.
140
00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:54,325
[panting]
141
00:05:54,417 --> 00:05:57,417
I can do it.
142
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,750
I can do it.
143
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:01,214
[all] I can do it.
144
00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:06,041
I did it.
145
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,625
Lenny, baby!
146
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:09,999
Aah!
147
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,583
Leonard!
148
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,827
Aah!
149
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,705
Victory was in your grasp,
and you let it go.
150
00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:19,042
Why, man, why?
151
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:21,075
Pretty Boy, Mr. Jolly --
152
00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:23,826
they're up there, up in the ceiling.
153
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,577
Oh, the ceiling.
154
00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:26,917
I see.
155
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,540
The kid must have fell on his head.
156
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:30,625
Oh, no. He's leaving.
157
00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:32,209
He doesn't realize
Mr. Jolly's been kidnapped.
158
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,501
Spot, Leonard, wait.
159
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:37,253
Pretty boy, he's missing.
160
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:40,707
Wait, wait!
161
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,132
Aah!
162
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:44,668
Jolly, I thought you were missing.
163
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,790
I thought you were missing.
164
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:48,625
I left because you got kidnapped.
165
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,379
No, not kidnapped, catnapped.
166
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:54,378
I was asleep. That's what cats do.
167
00:06:54,458 --> 00:06:55,458
We nap.
168
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,632
I'll nap you, you little hairy puff bag.
169
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,709
You know what you've put me through?
170
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:01,292
I almost got eaten thanks to you!
171
00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,495
Well, oh, yeah?
172
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:04,503
Well, my nerves are all a-jangle
173
00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:07,133
from being out in this awful, scary world
174
00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:08,498
trying to find you.
175
00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:12,463
Wait. I found you.
You're here. We're together.
176
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:14,132
And we're safe,
and we're...
177
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:16,288
About to get eaten
by a lion!
178
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,420
Be still, my heart.
179
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,750
It is she. Oh, what shall I say?
180
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,424
I've dreamed of this moment
a thousand times,
181
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,420
and now she's here.
182
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:32,920
Now is my chance
to finally stand before her
183
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,080
like a man
184
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:35,996
and say --
185
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,830
Ow! You hurt me!
186
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,577
Come on, Lenny,
187
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:44,037
you can do this obstacle course.
188
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:46,705
Hey, maybe you're right.
189
00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:50,042
I am getting through it
faster than you.
190
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:53,245
Actually, I'm lapping you
for the second time.
191
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:56,423
I should have put
my gym shorts in the fireplace.
192
00:07:56,500 --> 00:08:00,630
Tallulah, where are you?
193
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,250
Ow, ow, ow.
194
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:07,583
Your claws are like
195
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,577
little tiny meat hooks in my back.
196
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:10,917
Cut me some slack.
197
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,790
I'm a bird, and I'm freaking out here.
198
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:16,125
Ooh, this looks like an exit.
199
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:20,625
Or a dead end.
200
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,419
Hello, birdy.
201
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,960
Tallulah's back in town.
202
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,210
-[yowls]
-Help me, Jolly!
203
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,041
Yes. Yes, I will.
204
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:32,415
Nobody terrorizes
my best friend like that.
205
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,790
Hey, you, cat.
206
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,955
Yes?
207
00:08:38,959 --> 00:08:40,289
I can't do it.
208
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:42,495
Her beauty bewitches me so.
209
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:44,923
I can't find the words.
210
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,920
How about these words --
"don't eat my friend"?
211
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,330
Oh, dear, I am so very, very afraid.
212
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,997
No, you're not. You're brave.
213
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:55,253
You fought your fears, you left home
214
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,253
and came all the way to this madhouse
215
00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,173
because you believed you could help me,
216
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,750
so help me!
217
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:04,924
You're right. I am brave.
218
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,710
Not brave enough to talk to my lady love,
219
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:11,292
but I can talk to someone else.
220
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:15,745
Get up those tires.
221
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:18,714
Forget it, Scott. I just can't do it.
222
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,082
[amplifier feedback]
223
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:23,246
Uh, um, attention all students,
224
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:26,383
uh, would Leonard Helperman
and Scott Leadready
225
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:28,378
report to the principal's office...
226
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,378
Please?
227
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:31,418
Immediately!
228
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,540
Pretty boy and Mr. Jolly are here!
229
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:35,535
We have to save them.
230
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,455
Wrong. You have to save them.
231
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:39,962
Oh, charley horse.
232
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,711
[Mr. Jolly] Hello. Little help, please.
233
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:45,462
You have to do it,
Leonard, and I know you can.
234
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:48,382
Get in there and save those pets.
235
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:49,997
I will!
236
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:53,173
Hang on, guys. Here I come.
237
00:09:58,291 --> 00:10:00,171
Tallulah, dearest,
238
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,710
where are you?
239
00:10:01,792 --> 00:10:03,082
Huh?
240
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:07,746
Ugh. Cats and breath mints
don't mix much, do they?
241
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:10,004
You leave my bird alone.
242
00:10:11,917 --> 00:10:14,747
Tallulah, there you are.
243
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:16,174
Oh, my poor Tallulah.
244
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,170
Clearly you got locked in here
245
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,040
and were brought to the brink of madness
246
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,245
by starvation.
247
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:25,003
And Leonard, you ran
all the way here to save her.
248
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,833
How did you know?
249
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,167
Let's just say I have a sixth sense
250
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,880
about pets in danger.
251
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,329
Thank you, Leonard Helperman.
252
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,207
I'll never forget you for this.
253
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:38,211
But touch my darling baby again,
254
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,171
and you'll be suspended for a month.
255
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,580
Oh, you're so cute. Oh.
256
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:44,707
[cat shrieks]
257
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:47,292
[Strickler] Ow! That was my face, dear.
258
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:50,325
Oh, Leonard, honey, I am so proud of you.
259
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,327
You had the fastest obstacle course time
260
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:55,287
in school history.
261
00:10:55,375 --> 00:10:57,325
Thanks, Mom, but I didn't do it alone.
262
00:10:57,417 --> 00:11:00,827
It helps to have
friends who believe in you.
263
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:03,707
Took the words right out of my mouth.
264
00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:05,422
Thanks for faking that charley horse.
265
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,710
It was just the motivation I needed.
266
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,132
Ah, 'twas nothing.
267
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,998
I knew that faking an injury
268
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:13,003
would give you-- ow!
269
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:16,003
Because I knew-- ooh!
270
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,003
I'm all right. Ow!
271
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:20,333
Will you close already?
272
00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:21,418
Thank you.
273
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:22,500
Ow!
274
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:44,500
Yes! 100 percent!
275
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:47,423
Ah, I love it when studying pays off.
276
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,080
How'd you do, Scott?
277
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,666
Uh, 107, but that's just
278
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,380
because that extra-credit
question was so easy.
279
00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:55,788
Sorry, Leonard.
280
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,785
Guess I just need a challenge
281
00:11:57,875 --> 00:12:00,575
that goes beyond
simple classroom mathematics.
282
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:03,457
Looky! I made my socks into a Dolly.
283
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:06,632
I love you, Dolly. Do you love me?
284
00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:09,039
Ah, youth. Remember when you used to think
285
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,665
your toys had feelings?
286
00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:13,500
Yeah, but that was before I learned
my pets could talk.
287
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:16,920
[bell rings]
288
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,330
Dolly!
289
00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:20,667
[children cheer]
290
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,920
Uh oh. 5th grade recess.
291
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,420
Watch out, little sockless girl.
292
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,880
Tyler, you're playground monitor.
293
00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:28,079
Do something.
294
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,076
Duh, dude. I'm reading.
295
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,916
Hang on, miss. I'll save you.
296
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:33,920
Dolly!
297
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,790
[children cheering]
298
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:43,575
Ohh!
299
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:50,285
Wow, Scott.
300
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:51,665
Are you okay?
301
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:53,540
Yes. Just ignore
302
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,705
the multiple footprints on my back.
303
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:57,332
But you --
304
00:12:57,417 --> 00:13:00,327
you call yourself a safety monitor?
305
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:01,707
You're a disgrace
306
00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,582
to the whole safety monitor corps.
307
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:07,497
Now, if I were wearing
the belt of orange and steel,
308
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,503
I'd make sure this playground
309
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:12,883
was safer than lima beans on pizza day.
310
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,499
Thank you.
311
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:18,293
Thank you for sending me this boy.
312
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,665
Playground monitor leadready,
313
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,460
I want you out on the playground
314
00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:25,502
five minutes before first recess tomorrow.
315
00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:28,333
Yes, sir, and thank you, sir.
316
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,327
I promise I'll do my best
317
00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:31,917
to make our playground
318
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,630
a model of decorum and tranquility.
319
00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:36,709
Fine, fine. Just be sure
you have this book
320
00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:38,462
memorized by tomorrow.
321
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:48,542
Shoelaces, Yung Hi.
322
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:51,875
Let's get those suckers tied
before you trip.
323
00:13:51,959 --> 00:13:55,209
Nice quintuple knot,
and you're all set to go.
324
00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:57,711
Thanks, Scott. You saved my life.
325
00:13:57,792 --> 00:14:00,422
Ah, just doing my job, friend.
326
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,285
Aah!
327
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:12,745
Oh, oh, oh,
328
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:14,754
careful there, young fellow.
329
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:16,794
Rule number 117-G--
330
00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:19,625
"the standing on of swings
presents a serious threat
331
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,789
to the well-being of the playground-goer."
332
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,785
You could fall and hit your head.
333
00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:27,415
Boys, boys, you could really hurt someone
334
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,710
if you hit them with this.
335
00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:32,042
Duh. We're supposed to hit people, Scott.
336
00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:33,625
We're, like, playing dodge ball.
337
00:14:33,709 --> 00:14:36,459
Dodge ball is fine and dandy...
338
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,579
As long as it's safe and sound.
339
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,503
Ahem. Now, class,
340
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,963
we have a specialrific treat
341
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:48,421
before we go outside for recess today.
342
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,420
Playground monitor Scott Leadready
343
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,710
has prepared a safety film
for us to watch.
344
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,834
[Scott] Meet Mickey know-nothing,
345
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:05,707
a dense young lad.
346
00:15:05,792 --> 00:15:08,462
It's a sunny day in Playgroundville,
347
00:15:08,542 --> 00:15:10,832
and the rest of the boys and girls know
348
00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:13,667
the playground equipment is boiling hot.
349
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:15,830
But that doesn't stop our foolish friend.
350
00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:19,957
Ha ha. I think I'll
swing on the monkey bars.
351
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,001
[Scott] Ooh,
that's got to hurt.
352
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:24,003
Those bars are so hot
353
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:26,253
that Mickey can't even hold onto them.
354
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,923
Ow! My hands!
355
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:31,631
So little Mickey falls off the bars,
356
00:15:31,709 --> 00:15:33,629
breaking both his arms and legs.
357
00:15:33,709 --> 00:15:34,999
This forces
358
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:37,753
the poor, misunderstood playground monitor
359
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,794
to write up Mickey know-nothing
for 20 violations
360
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:42,205
of playground conduct.
361
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:44,501
Sorry, kid. What a tragedy.
362
00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:46,503
If only Mickey had been
363
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:48,503
like Billy Bright-Idea
364
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,673
and worn his safety gear.
365
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,670
[sizzles]
366
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,670
I'm going to read a book.
367
00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,670
Whoopee!
368
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:59,080
It's fun to be safe.
369
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:03,496
Now that's the safe way to play.
370
00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:13,827
Ah, now this is what I call a playground.
371
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:18,464
Have fun, everybody.
372
00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:22,625
Scott, be reasonable.
373
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:24,209
This is recess.
374
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:26,211
From the very first day of kindergarten,
375
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:29,211
every kid looks forward
to having fun at recess,
376
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,631
and you've ruined it for everybody.
377
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,750
Yeah! You tell him, Helperdude.
378
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:34,964
That's so true!
379
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:38,253
Leonard, everyone, don't you understand?
380
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:41,463
I'm keeping the playground safe for you.
381
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,753
[faking other voices]
Yeah, you tell 'em, Scott.
382
00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:45,754
That's right. Scott's right.
383
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:47,214
Yes, we love Scott.
384
00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:48,961
Uh...
385
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,381
Uh...
386
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,378
Ha ha ha.
387
00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,418
Besides, rules are rules.
388
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,420
Even if the rules are dumb?
389
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,790
Come on. Some of the stuff
you're enforcing
390
00:16:57,875 --> 00:16:59,955
doesn't have anything to do with safety.
391
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,713
Big whoop. I'm walking
on a crack in the blacktop.
392
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:05,044
[gasps]
393
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:06,626
Ooh!
394
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:09,830
Oh, look at me. I'm jumping
onto the monkey bars
395
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,957
in the middle.
396
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:14,671
I'm skipping a step!
397
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,960
You fool!
398
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:18,883
You'll kill us all!
399
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:22,629
I'm picking up a kick ball
without bending my knees.
400
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,790
You've given me no other choice.
401
00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:28,207
[all] Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
402
00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:31,831
I'm writing you up on report.
403
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,537
You can't scare me with your demerits.
404
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:35,705
[children gasp]
405
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,580
Then you leave me with even less choice
406
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:43,667
than I had when I said
I had no other choice.
407
00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:46,920
I'm taking this to the highest,
408
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,881
most powerful authority
409
00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:51,499
known to the 4th grade--
410
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:54,375
student council court.
411
00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:57,582
All rise!
412
00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:01,077
Student council court is now in session,
413
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:07,126
the honorable class president
Ian Wazaloseky presiding.
414
00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:07,878
Thank you.
415
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,829
Leonard Helperman
416
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:14,667
is accused of flagrantly violating
417
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,580
the playground code of conduct.
418
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,877
Scott Leadready,
419
00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:24,669
begin your persecution.
420
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:26,712
Your honor,
421
00:18:26,792 --> 00:18:29,542
ladies and gentlemen
of the student council court,
422
00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,035
fellow students, cafeteria staff,
423
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,875
and kindergartners, I'll be brief.
424
00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:36,249
As you know,
425
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,253
a plague of disobedience
426
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:40,253
is sweeping this great playground...
427
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:43,333
These are the facts
that prove he is guilty.
428
00:18:43,417 --> 00:18:45,327
Nothing matters but the facts...
429
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:47,877
Time dissipates to shining ether
430
00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,499
the solid angularity of facts...
431
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:53,503
[hoarsely] So, let us all have the courage
432
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,883
to uphold these principles.
433
00:18:55,959 --> 00:19:00,919
The fate of the free world
hangs in the balance.
434
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,960
I thank you.
435
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,081
[snoring]
436
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:08,666
Uh, Ian?
437
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,080
Oh, you're finished?
438
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:12,246
Well, good.
439
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:16,173
Leonard Helperman,
440
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,460
I find you guilty,
441
00:19:19,542 --> 00:19:21,332
guilty,
442
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:23,327
guilty!
443
00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:26,457
Hey, wait a second.
I didn't get my turn to --
444
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,383
I hereby sentence you
445
00:19:29,458 --> 00:19:31,538
to be dragged onto the playground
446
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:32,957
by your toes
447
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,671
and tied to the monkey bars,
448
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:40,002
where we will then
cover you with grape jelly
449
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,793
and red ants!
450
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:44,075
Uh, I hate to burst your bubble...
451
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,376
Too late!
452
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,790
As much as I agree that Leonard is guilty,
453
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,457
I can't let you perform that punishment
454
00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:52,632
on my playground. It's not safe at all.
455
00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:56,919
Don't tell me what I can and cannot do,
456
00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:59,831
for I have got the powdered wig,
457
00:19:59,917 --> 00:20:02,667
and that means what I say goes.
458
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,830
I am judge, jury, and executioner.
459
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:07,127
Got it?
460
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:09,628
Ian, you're completely power mad.
461
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,629
Order in the court!
462
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:13,579
You're acting irrationally.
463
00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:16,209
Silence, or I'll have you
464
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:20,381
covered with ants and grape jelly, too.
465
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,460
If I had your kind of power,
466
00:20:22,542 --> 00:20:23,922
I'd be considerate
467
00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:25,331
and generous
468
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,998
and good-natured,
469
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,035
and I'd always treat others
470
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:31,825
the way I'd like to be treated.
471
00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:34,077
I wasn't as much of a tyrant as Ian,
472
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,076
was I?
473
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,210
Don't look at me.
474
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,631
I was just acting like that
to teach you a lesson.
475
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,960
[crying]
476
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,793
I am a tyrant, a despot,
477
00:20:46,917 --> 00:20:51,207
a self-serving, self-righteous no-goodnik.
478
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,633
Oh, Leonard-- everyone--
479
00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:55,459
please forgive me.
480
00:20:55,542 --> 00:20:57,672
In my zeal to make the playground
481
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:59,040
safe for everyone,
482
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,035
I lost the respect of everyone
483
00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:03,075
I was making the playground safe for.
484
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:06,076
As Abraham Lincoln once said...
485
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:07,706
[glass shatters]
486
00:21:07,792 --> 00:21:10,712
"No man is good enough
to govern another man
487
00:21:10,792 --> 00:21:12,882
without that other's consent."
488
00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:16,539
Therefore I cannot in good conscience
489
00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:18,915
continue as playground monitor.
490
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,920
Instead, I want to try and make recess
491
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,920
what it's supposed to be--
492
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,330
fun for us kids.
493
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:27,998
[cheering]
494
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,535
Ohh!
495
00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,455
Now what am I going to do
496
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,672
with all these red ants and grape jelly?
497
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:38,832
Nice to have you back to being
just a regular kid again, Scott.
498
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:41,207
I might be back to being a kid, Leonard,
499
00:21:41,291 --> 00:21:44,291
but I think I'll always be
an exceptional one.
500
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,825
Right?
501
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:51,628
Ooh! The left side tingles!
33875
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