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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:04,329
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:05,705
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,422
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,460
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,882
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:11,789
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:19,875
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,249
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,583
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,247
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
15
00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:26,673
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
18
00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
19
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,126
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
20
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788
I hate dogs.
21
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:39,745
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
22
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:41,504
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
23
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503
I do not wish to be a dog.
24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,536
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
26
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:49,075
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,541
Yes!
29
00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,462
[wind howling]
30
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:02,542
[woman screams]
31
00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:05,035
[wolf howls]
32
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Okey-dokey, now.
33
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I hope each and every one of you
34
00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,077
has a splendiferous weekend.
35
00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:16,996
[chattering]
36
00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:19,173
Mrs. Helperman, yoo-hoo!
37
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,130
I have a vitally important announcement!
38
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:24,708
Well, today's my birthday,
39
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so everyone is invited
40
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,077
to my house tonight
41
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,916
for a sleepover party
they'll never forget!
42
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,500
Ha ha!
43
00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:37,495
[class] Eww!
44
00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,173
Oh, bummer...
45
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,500
Dude, I wish I could.
46
00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:44,133
Well, cold potatoes to you, suckers.
47
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,878
That just means more cake
for Leonard and me.
48
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,079
I don't think I can make it either.
49
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,246
I was planning to... clean my room!
50
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,713
Yeah! Tha-- that's it!
51
00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:55,382
Uh, sidebar?
52
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:58,251
What are you talking, "clean my room"?
53
00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,583
This is a sleepover,
54
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:02,827
my first sleepover as a boy.
55
00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:04,877
You don't want to be there
to have the time of my life?
56
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,629
But it's all night, in a strange house!
57
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,329
Lenny, everything's strange
until you try it.
58
00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:13,127
Admittedly, some things
are stranger than others.
59
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,878
My friend Leonard and I
will be there tonight
60
00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:17,039
with bells on.
61
00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:19,915
Cool! We'll all match.
62
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,500
[bells jingle]
63
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,503
Well, all right.
64
00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:26,543
I'll go, but I'm not wearing bells.
65
00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:29,205
And here's a fresh pair of underpants
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00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:31,211
for in the morning,
67
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:33,211
and an emergency pair of underpants,
68
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:34,881
and an extra pair
69
00:02:34,959 --> 00:02:37,879
in case something happens
to the emergency underpants.
70
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,879
Mom, I'm 10 years old.
71
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,879
Could you please stop saying "underpants"?
72
00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:43,879
Ooh, ooh. I'm sorry.
73
00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:46,879
Here are your three pair
of briefs, Mr. Man.
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[barks]
75
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:50,131
I thought she'd never leave.
76
00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:52,168
I've got a sleepover to pack for.
77
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,170
Okay, now. Socks.
78
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,540
Are they packed in a proportionate ratio
79
00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:57,955
to underpants?
80
00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,461
To wit, fresh pair,
emergency pair, extra pair?
81
00:03:00,542 --> 00:03:02,422
Or can I just turn the ones I wore today
82
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:03,630
inside out in the morning?
83
00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:06,169
How should I know?
Why are you asking me?
84
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,080
Yikes, Mr. Man.
85
00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:11,826
It's just a simple question.
Don't nip my nose off.
86
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:12,957
Sorry.
87
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,631
What's up? Are you afraid
of going to Ian's?
88
00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:18,579
There's nothing to fear.
I'm packing my rabbit's foot.
89
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:19,917
It's not that.
90
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,960
What, then? It's just a sleepover,
91
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,331
like every other you've ever been to.
92
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,207
Wait. The way you looked away
93
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:29,211
just now when I said that...
94
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,791
Great sizzling fajitas!
95
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,455
You've never been to a sleepover either?
96
00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:35,462
No. No, I haven't.
97
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,672
Really? Wow!
98
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,380
Dear diary,
99
00:03:39,458 --> 00:03:41,998
tonight, Leonard and I
will share a special first
100
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,883
in each other's lives.
101
00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:46,039
I'll immortalize it in the morning.
102
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,415
Come on, let's go.
The fun won't wait.
103
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,327
I can't do it, Scott.
104
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,207
Aw, come on, Leonard.
It's going to be fine.
105
00:03:53,291 --> 00:03:55,331
Would a haunted house have balloons?
106
00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:57,707
It's just that --
well, don't think I'm dumb,
107
00:03:57,792 --> 00:04:00,252
but, okay, the reason I've never gone
108
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,583
to a sleepover
at anyone's house before is,
109
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,000
well, I worry.
110
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,173
I mean, what if the parents yell?
111
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,880
What if it smells funny?
112
00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:10,879
What if their mom cooks something
113
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,919
with raisins or onions,
or raisins and onions?
114
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,540
What if their sheets are itchy?
115
00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:19,285
What if I can't fall asleep,
or what if I have nightmares?
116
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:22,375
Gee, I wish you'd
brought all this up before.
117
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:23,498
Why?
118
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:25,583
I just rang the bell.
119
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,997
What if it does smell funny?
120
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,000
Aah!
121
00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:33,213
And like sleeping over's not bad enough,
122
00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,791
this is Ian's house!
123
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,955
Let me talk. I'll get us out of it.
124
00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,131
We'll be safe in our own
unsmelly beds by nightfall.
125
00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,538
Hello, boys.
126
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,535
Ian's been on pins
and needles waiting for you.
127
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,415
Ha ha ha. Come on in
out of the cold, chums.
128
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,420
That doesn't sound like yelling to me.
129
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,460
They do seem sort of nice, but...
130
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,382
[sniffs] Hey! It smells good in here.
131
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,208
I'm making yummy birthday cookies
132
00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:00,461
for you boys to decorate later.
133
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,632
Do they have raisins in them?
134
00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:05,249
Or onions, perhaps?
135
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:06,753
No, sillies,
136
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:08,754
nor cabbage, nor olives --
137
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:12,134
just sugar and butter and lots of love.
138
00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,418
Hey, my mom says that all the time!
139
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,210
Now, you boys just
make yourselves at home.
140
00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:20,882
Ahh. I don't know about you,
141
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,669
but I'm starting to feel
pretty dang relaxed.
142
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,290
Yeah. This might not be so bad after all.
143
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:31,705
Are you ready to par-tay?
144
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:33,712
Know what I'm sayin'?
145
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,502
♪ Happy, happy birthday ♪
146
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:37,253
♪ Happy, happy birthday ♪
147
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,883
♪ Happy, happy birthday, happy birthday ♪
148
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,209
♪ Happy, happy, happy,
Happy, happy, happy birthday ♪
149
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,881
♪ Happy, happy, happy,
Happy, happy, happy birthday ♪
150
00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:47,539
♪ Happy, happy birthday,
Happy, happy birthday ♪
151
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:48,665
♪ Happy, happy birthday ♪
152
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:52,000
♪ Happy birthday ♪
153
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,253
[boys] Ha ha ha!
154
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,673
Happy birthday to me!
155
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,040
Ha ha ha!
156
00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:59,455
And now for the real fun.
157
00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:04,042
Pajamas and sleeping bags, ho!
158
00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:08,035
[all] Let the sleepover begin!
159
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,375
Hey, say it, don't spray it.
160
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,828
That was some
of the best-tasting toothpaste
161
00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:15,457
I've ever brushed with.
162
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,792
Yep. The toilet water
wasn't bad, either.
163
00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:20,205
Ha ha ha. Dog joke.
164
00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:23,211
Your pajama bottoms, they're backwards.
165
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,791
Whoops. Forgive me.
166
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,205
I usually sleep the way I was born.
167
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:29,831
I thought the tail hole
was rather convenient.
168
00:06:29,917 --> 00:06:33,037
So look at us -- two dudes in our jammies
169
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:35,035
getting ready to hit
the old sleeping bags.
170
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,995
No fears, no tears.
171
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,173
Yeah. I'm actually having a good time.
172
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,920
What was I worried about all these years?
173
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:49,000
[spooky voice] Come in!
We've been expecting you!
174
00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:52,754
Ha ha ha! Were you a-scared?
175
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:54,754
It was just me...
176
00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:58,714
[spooky voice] But you never can tell!
177
00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,752
Sometimes the ancient dead
178
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:03,754
who are buried under my floor
179
00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:07,464
do talk in their sleep!
180
00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:10,002
Don't freak, Leonard.
It's just an urban legend.
181
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,253
They're almost never true.
182
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,423
Uh, you don't have a hook, do you?
183
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,830
Um, not that I've ever seen,
184
00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:17,827
but sometimes,
185
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:21,877
mysterious things do scratch my window!
186
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:22,829
Ha ha ha!
187
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,957
[squishy sounds]
188
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,041
I want to go home!
189
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:28,375
It's okay, Leonard.
190
00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:31,288
There's two of us and only one of him.
191
00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:32,825
[Ian] Well, gentlemen,
192
00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:35,577
now that we've got the boring ice cream
193
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,747
and kiddie games out of the way,
194
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,211
it is time for some real fun!
195
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:43,501
Ha ha ha!
196
00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,133
You know what they say --
197
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:48,578
the sleepover never really begins
198
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,247
till your host says,
199
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:54,043
"lights out!"
200
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,078
Ha ha ha!
201
00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,916
I think I may need
my emergency underpants!
202
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,380
Hey, you're supposed to be the brave one!
203
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,833
I-Ian?
204
00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:06,787
Ian?
205
00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:09,415
Oogah oogah oogah!
Oogah oogah oogah!
206
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,750
Wait a minute.
207
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,584
That's supposed to be scary?
That's just dumb.
208
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,577
Oogah oogah.
209
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:15,577
Really dumb.
210
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,707
Yeah, well...
211
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:20,332
Well, I bet you'd be freaked out
212
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,497
if there was slimy bugs and snakes
213
00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:24,633
in the bottoms
of your sleeping bags, right?
214
00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:26,289
Well, no.
215
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,625
Now you've told us,
it would just be lame.
216
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,499
All right, everybody out.
217
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:36,333
Oh, man, it's my birthday, for cry-y-y...
218
00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:39,497
I just wanted to have some fun.
219
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,133
Believe it or not, Ian,
220
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:43,578
some of us are satisfied with the fun
221
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,747
of cake, ice cream, and "pin
the tail on the donkey."
222
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,754
It's pleasant. It's comforting.
223
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:50,504
It's our culture's accepted way
224
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,173
of saying "happy birthday."
225
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,290
Culture, shmulture.
226
00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:57,665
You sure you don't want
to be locked in my closet
227
00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:00,170
with a fake bloody corpse?
228
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,750
Ha ha ha!
229
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:04,334
All right, then, let's call it a night.
230
00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:06,327
The sooner we go to sleep,
231
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,705
the sooner we'll wake up
to my mom's famous pancakes
232
00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:11,672
and warm maple syrup.
233
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,580
[both] Mmm!
234
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:17,457
Gee, you two are so bourgeois!
235
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,384
[ghostly voice] Ooh! Ooh!
236
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,458
Ooh! Ooh!
237
00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:26,672
Ian.
238
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:27,670
What?
239
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,330
We told you to cut it out.
240
00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:31,707
It's not me.
241
00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,502
I-I swear on the head
of my snake slimer.
242
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:38,333
[voices] We are the voices
of the ancient dead.
243
00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:40,707
You have disturbed our rest,
244
00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:43,712
and now you must pay!
245
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,672
[all] Aah!
246
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,420
Let's get out of here!
247
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,040
Ohh! Unh.
248
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,245
Okay, here we go.
249
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:56,213
[both] Ha ha ha!
250
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,293
[woman] We really got you.
251
00:09:58,375 --> 00:10:01,495
[spooky voice] Now,
please join us in the kitchen
252
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:03,633
for warm milk and cookies!
253
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,329
Ha ha ha!
254
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:08,247
You should have seen
the look on your face!
255
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,503
Oh ho, I wasn't scared.
256
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:13,293
You're the one who was scared!
257
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,575
Ha ha ha! It scared the pants off of me!
258
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,287
Ha ha ha!
259
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:20,035
Happy birthday, son.
260
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:22,625
We wanted to give you
something you'd really love.
261
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,999
Oh, and I did!
262
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,463
Ha ha ha!
263
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:31,500
Well, that was truly a night to remember.
264
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,253
Yeah. It's funny -- I always thought
265
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,383
sleeping over at anybody else's house --
266
00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:38,458
especially Ian Wazaloseky's house --
267
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:40,632
would be scary,
but it was also kind of cool,
268
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,379
like we went through
this huge thing and survived.
269
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:44,578
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
270
00:10:44,667 --> 00:10:47,247
Don't be saying I'm cool and not scary!
271
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:51,923
Come on! I have an image to protect.
272
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,960
I mean, if people start thinking I'm cool,
it'll be all over.
273
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:56,881
I'll be just like you guys.
274
00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:59,749
I might as well
cut my bells off, you know?
275
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:01,384
I'll tell you what,
276
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:05,378
you two just keep quiet
about me being cool,
277
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:08,328
and I won't tell anyone you freaked out
278
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,827
when you found cockroaches in your pants.
279
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:14,377
What are you talking about?
There were no cockroaches in our pants.
280
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:15,748
Really?
281
00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:18,044
Look again!
282
00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:19,665
[both] Aah!
283
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,957
[Scott] 9-1-1!
284
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,751
I got you guys! Ha ha ha!
285
00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:29,747
[spooky laughter]
286
00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:36,827
[woman screams]
287
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,457
[spooky laughter]
288
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,380
[snoring]
289
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:43,288
[Scott] Leonard.
290
00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,535
Oh, Leonard.
291
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,745
Huh?
292
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,294
What?
293
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,455
Aah!
294
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,922
Aah!
295
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,630
Unh.
296
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,463
Oh, Spot, take that thing off.
297
00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:00,922
And a festive
all Hallow's Eve to you, too.
298
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,330
Oh, no! Is today Halloween?
299
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,540
Is it ever,
300
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,415
and my very first
as a mischievous, fun-loving,
301
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,580
all-American b-o-y.
302
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,787
Check it out -- I've been practicing.
303
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,705
♪ Trick or treat,
Smell my feet ♪
304
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:18,632
♪ Give me something
Good to eat ♪
305
00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:20,629
♪ If you don't,
I don't care ♪
306
00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:22,629
♪ I'll pull down your... ♪
You know the rest.
307
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,789
I'm not ready for this.
308
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,955
Worry not. I'm ready for both of us.
309
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:30,921
Fanfare.
310
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,080
[imitates fanfare]
311
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,076
[Portuguese accent] Presenting
312
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,076
that famed Portuguese explorer
313
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:41,576
Señor Ferdinand Magellan.
314
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,707
[both] Ha ha ha!
315
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:47,542
Quien es más macho.
316
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,705
Olé! Hasta la vista, baby.
317
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:53,962
How very ethnically insensitive of you.
318
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,541
I certainly hope
you give Leonard's costume
319
00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:59,075
the respect it so rightfully deserves.
320
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:01,746
I'm not wearing a costume this year.
321
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:03,754
[Portuguese accent] Not wearing a costume?
322
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,754
Dios mío!
323
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:07,964
Señor Leonardo, can this be true?
324
00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:11,081
Yes. And stop talking like that.
325
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,536
It's the Castilian lisp
326
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,075
common to Portuguese nobleman
of the 16th century.
327
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,536
Well, it's not common to the talking dog
328
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:19,785
of the 21st century, so stop it.
329
00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:22,955
Sorry. I'm just excited
about my first Halloween.
330
00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:25,751
Yeah. I remember that feeling.
331
00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:27,384
That was before what happened
332
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,378
last October 31st.
333
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,378
[Leonard] I was so psyched
334
00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:33,748
to wear my Bing-bing
the Friendly Alien costume,
335
00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:35,424
but then...
336
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,420
What are you supposed to be, dufus?
337
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,040
Me me am am Bing-bing.
338
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,125
Aah!
339
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,418
Well, now you're a bush-bush. Ha ha ha!
340
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,330
Yeah, a bush-bush.
341
00:13:46,417 --> 00:13:49,997
And that's why I'll never
dress for Halloween again.
342
00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:52,753
[crying]
343
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,503
It's all so sad,
344
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,253
so very, very sad.
345
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,883
Oh, my goodness, I can't stop crying.
346
00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:02,459
[crying]
347
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:06,292
Oh, great! Now look what you've done!
348
00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:08,705
He's gone and dehydrated himself!
349
00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:10,332
Drink up, baby.
350
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,497
You shouldn't get so involved.
He's just a human.
351
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,333
Aw, cheer up, Leonard.
That was last year.
352
00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:16,537
You can't let some stupid bully
353
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,575
ruin all your fun.
354
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,707
But this is more than just a bully.
355
00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:22,382
This is Dutch Colenza.
356
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:24,578
That kid's in a class by himself.
357
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:25,957
Oh ho. Pish posh.
358
00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:29,631
I mean it. He's in a class by himself!
359
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:35,293
Okay, he's a really scary stupid bully,
360
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,245
but he can't hurt you this year.
361
00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,633
You've got me.
362
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:41,249
I will have your back, home slice.
363
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:44,253
Boy, it doesn't sound
quite right when I say it.
364
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:48,333
Come on. You know
you want to wear a costume.
365
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,293
I can see it in your eyes,
you little devil.
366
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,875
Forget it, Spot.
367
00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:56,788
Vampire? Cowboy? Mummy?
368
00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:58,325
No.
369
00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,497
Come on, Lenny. Forget about Dutch.
370
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,503
Express yourself. Be fearless.
371
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:06,333
Make way for "the thing
from under my desk"!
372
00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:07,707
Ha ha ha!
373
00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:09,752
Okay, maybe not that fearless.
374
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:11,924
You go ahead and have a good time.
375
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,750
I'll just be happy
to stay out of the Thorn bush.
376
00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:16,834
I'm not giving up on you.
377
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,417
I vow I will bring the Halloween spirit
378
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,210
back into your heart...
379
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:22,581
[school bell rings]
380
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:25,577
Right after I lead
the all-school costume parade.
381
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,287
Scott, wait! Your cape is --
382
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:33,463
Hey! Todo El mundo!
383
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:37,082
Get a load of Señor Ferdinand...
384
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,666
The dog.
385
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:40,710
Gulp!
386
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,672
[Principal Strickler]
Great Caesar's ghost!
387
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,330
It's a dog...
388
00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:45,668
Costume!
389
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,290
And a very realistic dog costume, at that.
390
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:50,075
Talullah's so convinced,
391
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,206
she's driving her pincer-like claws
392
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:54,131
into my carotid artery.
393
00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,288
Take it easy, sweetheart.
394
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:57,705
[Talullah yowls]
395
00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,752
[Principal Strickler] It's only a costume!
396
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:03,165
Spot, I-I -- you -- he -- he didn't?
397
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:08,170
What can I say? He loves my dog costume!
398
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,170
Let the parade begin!
399
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,130
[children laughing]
400
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,460
[camera shutter clicks]
401
00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:23,247
Now, what is it about that dog costume
402
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,633
that's ringing such a bell in my brain?
403
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:28,629
So I say, "this fake
dog nose simply won't do."
404
00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:31,829
Oh, and did I mention it's made
405
00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:34,787
of genuine Patagonian fake dog fur?
406
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,495
Cool costume!
407
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:37,705
Yeah! It's da bomb!
408
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:41,172
It's not so great. I saw the zipper.
409
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,501
Class. Class.
410
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:47,133
Okay, we'll have our
super-fun Halloween blowout
411
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:50,128
with yummy, non-fat,
sugar-free, PTA-approved
412
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:52,038
candy-substitute treats in a bit,
413
00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,245
but right now Mr. Clock says
414
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,963
it's time to start our schoolwork.
415
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:58,671
Hey, where is everybody?
416
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,380
Oh, Scott, dear, you're a new student,
417
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:03,418
so you probably weren't aware,
418
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,000
but every year
419
00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:07,003
when the Halloween parade is over,
420
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,003
we all take off our costumes
421
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,423
and hang them up in the coat closet.
422
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:15,420
Take off our co-- co--
423
00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:17,042
oh!
424
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,786
[gasps]
425
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,583
[both] Aah!
426
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,463
Are you all right?
427
00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:28,463
Fine, fine. Sat on a tack. Ow.
428
00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:30,672
Me -- me too. A tack. Ow!
429
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,330
I'll take yours out, you take mine.
430
00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,128
We've got to get you out of here!
431
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,750
Costume off, son.
432
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,328
Take that costume off
and get back in class!
433
00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:43,287
Aah!
434
00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:45,535
Hey, parade's over, kid.
435
00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,165
Why ain't you out of your costume yet?
436
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,130
[engine revs]
437
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,330
Does the whole world know
438
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:54,247
about this "taking off
your costume" jazz but me?
439
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,463
Come on.
440
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:57,883
Wh--where are we?
441
00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,249
They're all going to find me out now.
442
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:03,083
I could just kiss
my school career bye-bye.
443
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,416
Nice going, Leonard.
444
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,040
Me? You're the one
445
00:18:06,125 --> 00:18:08,165
who didn't wear clothes
under your costume.
446
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,830
Hello!
447
00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:12,827
I just started going
to this school last month,
448
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,667
Mr. "I'm still so afraid
of some bush trauma
449
00:18:15,792 --> 00:18:18,582
from a year ago I forgot to tell my dog
450
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:21,077
something very, very important"!
451
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,916
I did tell you something important!
452
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,040
I told you not to dress up
in the first place.
453
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:26,956
I told you it's nothing but trouble.
454
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:28,501
This is all your fault.
455
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:32,205
[man] And then I says,
"you may know buffer machines,
456
00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:36,075
but you can't scrape gum
off the floor for nothing!"
457
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:39,126
Wow. Wish I'd been there.
458
00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:41,288
Let me tell you about the maintenance men.
459
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,785
They are different from you and me.
460
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,415
[Strickler]
Custodian to room 14 with a mop.
461
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,380
Oh, for crying out tears.
462
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:51,208
There goes that Wazaloseky kid again.
463
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,293
What do they feed him?
464
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,915
At least he takes off his costume
465
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,540
when you tell him to.
466
00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:59,167
[man] Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah, costume!
467
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,830
I'm sorry I got you into this mess.
468
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,707
Well, I'm glad you finally --
469
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:07,292
but I'm not sorry I dressed for Halloween.
470
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:10,035
If my school career is going to end today,
471
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:13,075
then I'm glad I went out
having the time of my life!
472
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,666
No sense dwelling on what might have been.
473
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:18,790
I'm a dog. I can't take off my costume.
474
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:20,955
I'll just turn myself in,
475
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:23,291
and then I'll go home...
476
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,455
Forever.
477
00:19:25,542 --> 00:19:26,962
Here. Take my clothes.
478
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,421
Take your --
479
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,170
take them. Go back and join the party.
480
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,880
Stay in school. You deserve it.
481
00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:35,749
But what about you?
482
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,325
I'll just hang out here.
No one will miss me.
483
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,997
I've barely been here today anyway.
484
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,423
Go. Enjoy yourself.
485
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,043
I'll never forget this, Leonard.
486
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:53,415
You are a boy of unparalleled integrity
487
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,040
and dignity.
488
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,250
Thank you.
489
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:03,375
Low-fat, artificial,
sugar-free substitute treats,
490
00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,668
look out! Ooh!
491
00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,920
What's your problem, dufus?
492
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,211
Oh, no problem,
just a non-threatening boy
493
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:13,291
who doesn't want any trouble
on his way to class.
494
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,825
Well, here. Let me give you a lift.
495
00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:17,377
Ow!
496
00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:19,668
Ooh! That is thorny!
497
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,880
[Dutch] Wait till I pants you.
498
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,879
Then you'll see what thorny is.
499
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,129
Hey, he can't do that to my friend.
500
00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:28,038
[crashing]
501
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,495
Ohh!
502
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,415
You leave him alone!
503
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,130
What are you supposed to be
for Halloween, dufus?
504
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,128
I am not a dufus,
505
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,288
and I'm not supposed to be anything.
506
00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:40,955
Whoa! Look at me!
507
00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:43,003
I'm "the monster
508
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:45,293
from beyond the janitor's closet"!
509
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,285
And I don't care
if you throw me in a bush,
510
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,625
I'm wearing a costume,
and I like it!
511
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,079
It takes more courage to express yourself
512
00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,076
and do what makes you happy
513
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,536
than to hide from a big bully like you!
514
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:59,995
You go, Leonard! Ow! Thorn!
515
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:02,173
[crying]
516
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,210
I used to love Halloween, too!
517
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:10,881
Really?
518
00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:13,709
It was second grade.
519
00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:15,712
[disco music playing]
520
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,455
I was so happy.
521
00:21:18,542 --> 00:21:20,082
[voices] Ha ha ha!
522
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,996
I just wanted to look
like my favorite disco king.
523
00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,882
Was that so wrong?
524
00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:28,879
You've been in grade school
an awfully long time,
525
00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:30,419
haven't you?
526
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:34,710
Uh-huh, and holidays hurt the worst.
527
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,132
Ow! Tell me about it.
528
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,378
Say, I've got an idea.
529
00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:43,288
♪ Trick or treat,
Smell my feet ♪
530
00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:44,745
♪ Give me something good to eat ♪
531
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,785
♪ If you don't,
I don't care ♪
532
00:21:46,875 --> 00:21:49,165
♪ Me me purple underwear ♪
533
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,710
Ha ha ha!
534
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:54,832
You know, he really makes it work.
36896
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