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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
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-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
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00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:05,705
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
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♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
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♪ He'd start to drool ♪
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00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,882
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
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♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
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♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
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♪ I have buried a bone
for the last time ♪
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-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
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♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
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♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
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00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,583
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,247
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
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♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
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♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
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Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
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Now, doodle bug,
listen to mother.
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♪ I want to be a boy ♪
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I hate dogs.
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♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
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00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:41,504
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
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I do not wish to be a dog.
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♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
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♪ I got to be a boy ♪
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♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
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♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
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Yes!
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[donkey brays]
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[horse neighs]
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[monkey screams]
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[horse neighs]
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[chickens cluck]
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[snoring]
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[laughing]
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Mmm. Yummy.
37
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[laughing]
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[snarling]
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Aah!
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[barking]
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[panting]
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Oh, my gosh. Spot, I just
had the weirdest dream.
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You came to school dressed like a kid,
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and you were the smartest guy in class
45
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,625
and a great athlete,
and everybody liked you,
46
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but you were my dog,
and if anyone found out,
47
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I'd never live it down!
48
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,381
Um, that wasn't a dream, Leonard.
49
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That was last week.
50
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-No way!
-Way, Leonard.
51
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What about the part
where I had no pants on
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and I was being chased
by a man in a gorilla suit?
53
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All right, that was a dream.
54
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Ooh, you're a very complex boy.
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Any-who, back to here and now.
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I am the new kid in your class.
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I'm Scott Leadready II.
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I've only been there a week,
59
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but based on the spelling pretest
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00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,211
and our long-division pop quiz,
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I'm riding a 4.0 bullet
train to Harvard, baby!
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Mind if I wear these today, bro?
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Those khakis of yours are a bit binding
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in the tail region.
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Ouch.
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But what if someone finds out?
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What if they take you away
and perform experiments on you?
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What if ever after I'm known as the kid
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with the talking dog?
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"What if," "what if..."
What if pigs could fly?
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Although I guess if you could
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00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,125
get their little cloven hooves
73
00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:05,128
to actually grip the control levers,
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they might have a shot.
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00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,173
But I digress.
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00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,170
Don't worry about "what if," Leonard.
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Just enjoy what is.
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00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,133
Isn't it every kid's fantasy
79
00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:15,378
to have his dog come to school with him?
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You'll always have someone
to play with at recess.
81
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,077
No one could be more loyal.
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As usual, I choose Leonard.
83
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:27,500
And you never have to worry
about cleaning your plate in the caf.
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By the way, those ingrates
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who complain about cafeteria food
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have never tasted simulated liver
munchies.
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[bell rings]
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I have a very unusual dog.
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00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,633
He can do things
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no other dog in the world can do.
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00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:47,996
Oh, no. Busted.
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00:03:48,083 --> 00:03:50,543
I knew this would happen.
I knew this would happen.
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Using his furry little tail for balance,
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he can sit up and beg for a cookie
95
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for five, six minutes at a stretch.
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Whew.
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00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,830
Great. That'll be my legacy.
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00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:05,827
Now, see, this is the kind of yummy,
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00:04:05,917 --> 00:04:08,827
colorful detail I want from you
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00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:13,627
in your essays entitled
"A Very Special Pet"--
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00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:15,539
due Friday, three to five pages,
102
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college-ruled paper, in ink, use cursive,
103
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spelling and punctuation count,
and don't forget to work in at least
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00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,424
15 words from your unit 2 vocabulary list.
105
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,633
So, what pet are you going
to write about, Scott?
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00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:31,209
[thinking] A pet. A pet.
107
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This is a conundrum wrapped in an enigma,
108
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because I don't have a pet, I am a pet.
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00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:40,037
I don't have a pet, I am a pet. Ooh...
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I'm still debating, Leslie.
111
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,710
Yeah. Me too.
112
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:47,712
My boa constrictor, Slimer,
can swallow a live rat whole!
113
00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:51,462
But my komodo dragon, Spike,
can nail a mosquito
114
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in mid-flight!
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[slurps]
116
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:58,669
Why don't you write about
your colony of head lice, Ew-an?
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That was kindergarten,
and there was an epidemic!
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00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,747
[thinking] I don't have a pet, I am a pet.
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I don't have a pet, I am a pet.
120
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Stop saying that!
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Ooh, I could make up a pet,
unleash my fertile imagination,
122
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and follow it wheresoever it may lead.
123
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,210
My pet, the unicorn...
124
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,831
My pet, the Phoenix...
125
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Rise! Rise!
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00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:31,325
My pet, the mysterious yeti
of the himalayas.
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The himahl-yas?
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,790
When did I become so pretentious? Nah.
129
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:36,785
That's not the assignment.
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I couldn't sell that
with a pound of liver.
131
00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:41,788
I bet Leonard's essay will be the best.
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Really, Leslie?
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Sure. You've got the coolest dog
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00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:48,827
in the whole wide world.
135
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:51,247
Plus, he can write down
that stuff his mom said
136
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,583
and his essay's done.
137
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,287
You luck-out.
138
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,665
Yeah. Wish my mom was the teacher.
139
00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,380
Yeah. Easy "A".
140
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:01,288
Hey! I do my own work,
141
00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:04,535
and I don't need any help from anyone.
142
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I'll show 'em.
143
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:09,000
This is the essay I was born to write.
144
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:12,293
I may not know much,
but I do know my pets.
145
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[thinking] What kind of pet
146
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does a Scott Leadready have?
147
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,883
Whatever I choose
148
00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:23,879
will say so much about me as a boy.
149
00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:26,579
Am I the horsie type?
150
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,127
Gosh, these jodhpurs are killing me.
151
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,918
Has anyone seen my riding crop?
152
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,920
Am I a falconer?
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[falcon squawks]
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Ow.
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Good grief!
156
00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,205
Could I possibly have a dog?
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My very special pet.
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00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,921
My very special pet.
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Oh, I'm so stuck.
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00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,633
Aw, come on. You got the easy job.
161
00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:52,669
Lest we forget... [pants]
162
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Yeah, sure, if I write about you,
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00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:57,249
everyone will say
I ripped off my own mother.
164
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,963
Why do humans find that funny?
165
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,711
I have to go see a man about a bush.
166
00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:05,542
Hey! Maybe I could write
about one of them.
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00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:06,705
Fellas!
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00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:07,712
[whistles]
169
00:07:07,792 --> 00:07:08,792
Oh, boys!
170
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:12,245
Ugh. There's that dog
who passes for human.
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00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,673
Yeah. He thinks his tail don't smell.
172
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,710
Say there, mutts on the block,
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I was wondering if one of you
might be interested
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in being the subject of an essay
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I have to write for school.
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Ow!
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00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:27,923
Ohh.
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00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000
A simple "no" would have sufficed.
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My very special pet.
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♪ Bumpy-dumpy-dum ♪
181
00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,422
Oh, need some help, Cinnamon Bun?
182
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,830
I don't need help,
183
00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:56,167
and please don't call me Cinnamon Bun!
184
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:58,420
Oh, okay. Now, what I meant was,
185
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,330
do you want some help or a cinnamon bun?
186
00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:02,457
Ha ha ha!
187
00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,212
Oh. Thanks.
188
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,381
Ahh.
189
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:09,538
Mmm. Good.
190
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,000
Ahem! Hey, dufus!
191
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:18,173
There is another special pet around here
you could write about.
192
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:21,170
Oh, why, Pretty Boy, how kind of you!
193
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,080
Not you, tuna lips!
194
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,826
Me! The bird! The guy in the cage!
195
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:28,247
You? Why would Leonard write about you
196
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,503
when he could write about me?
197
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,963
Who gets on your tummy
when you're watching TV
198
00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:35,921
and purrs like a little warm motor boat?
199
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,920
[purring]
200
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,710
Mr. Jolly is cuddly.
201
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:42,332
I guess I could write about that.
202
00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:43,877
Don't be a sap.
203
00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,289
He eats, he sleeps, he hocks up hairballs.
204
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,915
You're begging for a "C".
205
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,830
And you're an easy "A",
206
00:08:49,917 --> 00:08:52,957
Mr. Swing-on-a-red-plastic-bar-
and-peck-at-a-seed-bell?
207
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:55,461
Scared to leave the house,
sheds year 'round,
208
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:57,712
can't step out of the box
without leaving clumps?
209
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,252
Ohh!
210
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:02,133
How could all that meanness
come out of someone so little?
211
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,248
Hey! Hey! Let's not get personal here.
212
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:05,883
Besides, Lenny boy,
213
00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:08,249
don't forget who sings for you, baby!
214
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:10,963
[singing opera music]
215
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:17,328
Ooh, he does have a lovely voice.
216
00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:20,207
[yowling]
217
00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:29,957
Have mercy, you two.
218
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:33,041
These are highly sensitive
sound-wave receptors.
219
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:34,705
What happened to you?
220
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:38,292
Let's just say I ran
into some not-so-special pets.
221
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,625
Listen, I've thought it over,
222
00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:43,539
and what say we just
keep it in the house, huh?
223
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,495
Leonard can write about Pretty Boy,
224
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:46,713
and I, Scott,
225
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:50,252
shall immortalize our very own Mr. Jolly.
226
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:51,923
[singing stops]
227
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,920
Sounds good.
228
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,330
Fine.
229
00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,417
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Scott was an option?
230
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,790
Scott's a straight-"A" student.
231
00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:59,785
I want Scott! Is it too late to switch?
232
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,960
Well, I don't know about you,
233
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:06,881
but my idea of a super-duper,
pepper-upper Saturday night
234
00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,289
is a steaming mug of hot cider,
235
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,285
a great big bubble bath, and these essays.
236
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,665
[all] Ha ha ha!
237
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,920
I was at the movies.
238
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,630
Wonderful job, honey.
239
00:10:17,709 --> 00:10:20,209
Mommy's so proud
of her little essay writer.
240
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,211
Ha ha ha!
241
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,331
[class] Ha ha ha!
242
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,077
Mom, everyone's looking!
243
00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,786
Oh. Oh. Ahem.
244
00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:30,785
That is, congratulations, Mr. Helperman.
245
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:33,375
You turned in a neat
and thorough composition
246
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,168
in a timely fashion.
247
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,750
Ha ha ha!
248
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:37,714
[trumpet fanfare plays]
249
00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:39,252
An "A"?
250
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:43,753
I actually got an "A"
all on my own, no help!
251
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,920
Extra credit points.
252
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,750
Ooh, you got to love them.
253
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,794
Well, boys and girls,
254
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,785
each and every one of your pets
255
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,745
just sounded so very special
256
00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,004
that I decided-- ha ha ha--
257
00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,253
we need to meet them all.
258
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,833
So, drumroll, please.
259
00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:05,167
[imitates drumroll]
260
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,420
Tomorrow is hereby declared
261
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,420
the first annual fourth-grade pet parade!
262
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,290
[cheering]
263
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,285
Ha ha ha!
264
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:16,785
And, as a very extra-special treat,
265
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,785
you'll all have a chance
266
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:20,995
to read your essays out loud...
267
00:11:21,083 --> 00:11:23,133
[groans]
268
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:26,418
For our ultra-extra-special guest,
269
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,290
my friend Mary Beth, the publisher
270
00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:31,875
of Mary Beth's Special Pets
Monthly Magazine,
271
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:35,329
who's agreed to publish
her favorite essay,
272
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:39,037
along with a color photo of the author
273
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:42,955
and-- and-- his or her special pet
274
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:45,251
in the next issue!
275
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,083
Ha ha ha!
276
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,916
Yay!
277
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,290
Wow!
278
00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:53,915
My essay that I wrote all by myself,
279
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,920
without any help from anyone,
280
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,290
in a magazine!
281
00:11:57,375 --> 00:11:59,285
[thinking] Then everyone who read it
282
00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:02,415
would know that I wrote it,
and I don't need any help,
283
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,630
and I'm me, and--
284
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:07,249
I'm going on here, aren't I?
285
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,633
[thinking] Mary Beth's
Special Pets Monthly.
286
00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,669
Well, it's not the Sunday Times,
287
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,670
but you got to start somewhere.
288
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:17,080
It all started in the fourth grade,
289
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:20,496
with a little essay about a cat.
290
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:23,043
I hope you're not dreaming
about getting your essay
291
00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:25,165
in Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly
292
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,670
because that one's mine.
293
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,210
We'll see.
294
00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:30,211
I'm sure looking forward to meeting
295
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,171
your cat Schroedinger tomorrow, Scott.
296
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,500
He sounds just like my Mr. Jolly.
297
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,383
Oh, but he's not! Unh-unh, no way!
298
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:40,288
Uh, Schroedinger is, uh, black--
299
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:42,165
moorish, at least.
300
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,380
Ugh! Dirty. Dirty!
301
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,168
I just feel so dirty.
302
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,750
Stop it. Stop it.
303
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,964
You're getting all orangey again.
304
00:12:56,792 --> 00:13:00,502
Aah! My tail! My glorious orange tail!
305
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,963
I'll never stop hating you for this.
306
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:05,461
Okay, we got your fresh newspaper,
307
00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:07,462
your mirror polished...
308
00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:10,082
Don't you worry kid,
we're going to beat that dog and his cat
309
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,996
with one wing tied behind our back.
310
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,583
What you going to say
when you lift the cage cover?
311
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,627
Um, I don't know.
312
00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:20,829
How about, "everybody, this is my canary!"
313
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,037
You're pathetic.
314
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,205
Get over here so I can peck your head.
315
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:26,671
You want to get our mug in the magazine,
316
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,330
give it a little oomph.
317
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,247
As my dear mother used to say,
318
00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:33,503
"grab them by the beaks,
and their hearts will follow."
319
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,333
Now, repeat after me.
320
00:13:35,417 --> 00:13:36,707
Ladies and gentlemen,
321
00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,502
give it up for the pride
of Arnie's pets and stuff,
322
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:41,133
the one, the only,
323
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,538
Pretty Boy Helperman!
324
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,575
[singing opera music]
325
00:13:58,166 --> 00:14:00,036
[snoring]
326
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,205
[chuckling]
327
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:06,083
I'd better win this thing.
328
00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:11,208
I can't do it. I thought
I could, but I can't.
329
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:13,211
I'm not a black cat.
I'm not a brave cat.
330
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,171
I'm just a ball of fear
covered with soot.
331
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,670
Let Leonard and Pretty Boy
have the glory.
332
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:19,330
I'll be under the bed.
333
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:23,077
No! Mr. Jolly, my writing career!
334
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,706
They're going down!
335
00:14:24,792 --> 00:14:26,962
Just five more minutes, Mommy.
336
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:33,462
Out, out, darn spot.
337
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,382
You, too, darn Spot.
338
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,878
Oh, please, Mr. Jolly,
339
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,419
don't do this to me now.
340
00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,752
Here, kitty-kitty.
Here, kitty-kitty.
341
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,084
Yes.
342
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,246
Oh, let him be.
343
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,253
Just say Scott's cat couldn't make it,
344
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,423
and be happy for me and Pretty Boy.
345
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:50,042
We're going to have our picture
346
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,125
in Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly.
347
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:55,078
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you, little boy?
348
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,126
No, Leonard, no!
349
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:59,498
As much as I love and respect you
350
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:01,673
as my master and best friend,
351
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,580
it's our picture you'll be looking at--
352
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:06,457
if I could just get him out
353
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:08,673
from under this bed!
354
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:09,880
Ow!
355
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,419
Ow!
356
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,963
And now we are going!
357
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,040
[Mr. Jolly screeches]
358
00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:25,035
[glass breaks]
359
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,745
This is going to be fun.
360
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,750
[donkey brays]
361
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:34,084
[horse neighs]
362
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,326
[monkey screams]
363
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,287
Her bite doesn't really hurt,
364
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,245
but if it breaks the skin,
365
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,253
you do have to go to the doctor
366
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,293
and get a shot, or you'll die.
367
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,285
Oh, Mary Beth, aren't
these kids and their pets
368
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,285
absotively fantabulous?
369
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:49,705
Ha ha ha!
370
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:52,252
Oh, posilutely spantacular, Mary Lou.
371
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:56,003
How in tarnation am I
going to pick just one?
372
00:15:56,125 --> 00:16:00,285
Schroedinger Leadready
is a cat among cats,
373
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:02,285
fearless and unflinching,
374
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,125
with the glow
of a yellow moon in his eyes,
375
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,958
yet highly philosophical.
376
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,963
Turtles and fishes and rats, oh, my!
377
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:14,083
If the essay-reading starts to go south,
378
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:16,036
don't forget your ace in the hole.
379
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,245
[clears throat]
380
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,833
♪ Figaro ♪
381
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,377
♪ Figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro ♪
382
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,498
♪ Figaro ♪
383
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,713
[hisses]
384
00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:27,002
What are you staring at, jaws?
385
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,293
You never seen a guy tweet before?
386
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,285
Ha ha ha!
387
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,285
Okay, thank you, Younghee,
388
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,875
and it was a real treat meeting Cheesy.
389
00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,879
[Cheesy squeaks]
390
00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:40,579
Now, who would like to go next?
391
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,627
Lady Fluffer Cottontail is ready.
392
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,500
It's going to be okay.
I'll read my essay quick,
393
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,035
nail the competition,
394
00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:48,495
bow, "thank you very much,"
395
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,253
and run you right home.
396
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,130
[grunts and groans]
397
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,080
There. Now, just wait here.
398
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,456
I left my essay in the cloak room.
399
00:16:58,542 --> 00:16:59,882
I'll be right back.
400
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,210
I'm Schroedinger Leadready.
401
00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:05,251
I'm not Mr. Jolly. I'm not a scaredy-cat.
402
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,625
I'm king of the beasts.
403
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:10,330
Aah!
404
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:12,668
[panting]
405
00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,922
Oh, for crying out loud!
406
00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:18,461
Come on, basket case.
I'm getting you out of here.
407
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:22,082
Just grab my foot and don't look down.
408
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,626
[hisses]
409
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,629
Aw, leave him alone already.
410
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,919
Pick on someone your own species.
411
00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:30,501
[Pretty Boy] Hey,
who turned off the lights?
412
00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:33,999
[belches]
413
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:36,665
[Pretty Boy] Let me out of here!
414
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,080
Hey!
415
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:41,076
Nobody swallows my friend like that.
416
00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:42,916
[whimpers]
417
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,960
Hyah!
418
00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:46,711
Yuck!
419
00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:48,672
Now, those were some ugly guts.
420
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:51,132
In conclusion, it's not her pink eyes
421
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:54,128
or the way her nose wiggles
when she nibbles a carrot,
422
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,128
but it's her heart full of love
423
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,128
that makes Lady Fluffer Cottontail
424
00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:00,078
my very special pet.
425
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,576
The end.
426
00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:04,129
Okay, thank you, Leslie.
427
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:08,248
Now we will hear from Leonard Helperman.
428
00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:10,455
We're up, Pretty Boy.
429
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:13,133
Where is he?
430
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:18,000
See? I told you the world's a scary place.
431
00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:20,285
Not the whole world, my friend--
432
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:21,495
just the fourth grade.
433
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,245
Now come on.
434
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,083
Let's get you home.
435
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,498
Sing for me, Pretty Boy.
436
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,503
Really? You like my singing?
437
00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:31,463
You're not just humoring me?
438
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:34,133
It helps, somehow.
439
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:37,208
[singing opera music]
440
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,130
Oh, great.
441
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:43,378
Without Pretty Boy, I've got nothing.
442
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,460
What an ironic twist of fate.
443
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,042
This actually works out better for me.
444
00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:50,285
With no Mr. Jolly here in person,
445
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,575
quaking and shaking and drawing attention,
446
00:18:52,709 --> 00:18:55,129
I can create a picture with my words alone
447
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:58,628
of Schroedinger,
the coolest cat in the world.
448
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:01,170
My essay prevails!
449
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:03,170
[howling]
450
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,170
I mean, yahoo!
451
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,920
Yeah, well, you're a great writer,
452
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,080
and you deserve to win.
453
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,078
Leonard, your turn, honey.
454
00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:14,878
My turn to prove what a loser I am.
455
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,749
I'm sorry to be a huge
disappointment to everyone,
456
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:24,785
but, well, my bird,
who I wrote my essay about,
457
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:27,625
well, he isn't here...
458
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,329
[Spot barking]
459
00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,745
But my dog is!
460
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,423
Hey, hey!
461
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:39,540
Good boy! Good, good boy, Spot!
462
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,917
Oh, what a good, good doggy!
463
00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:43,331
[barking]
464
00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,378
[class gasps]
465
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,210
[both] Ha ha ha!
466
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:00,213
[all] Yay!
467
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,501
Thanks, buddy.
468
00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:03,503
Everyone, this is Spot.
469
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,083
He's more than just a very special pet,
470
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,326
he's the best friend anybody ever had.
471
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,537
Spot rules!
472
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,957
He's special!
473
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,963
Ha ha ha!
474
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,331
[camera shutter clicks]
475
00:20:16,417 --> 00:20:19,127
I still can't believe
how cool it was of you
476
00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,958
to give up your chance
477
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,501
to become published
just so you could be my dog.
478
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,883
Sometimes I even amaze myself.
479
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,790
I'll bet it felt pretty good
480
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:30,037
just to be your dog self again, huh?
481
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,456
Run free, no clothes,
482
00:20:31,542 --> 00:20:33,082
lick anyone's face you want to.
483
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:36,628
Oh, no. I know where
you're heading this train,
484
00:20:36,709 --> 00:20:39,419
and you can just stop it
right on the track, boy-o.
485
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,420
I've had a taste of school life,
486
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:44,420
and I'm never going back
to being just a dog again.
487
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,420
Every day, in every way,
488
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,210
I am becoming more and more human.
489
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,381
[sniffs]
490
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:52,958
Hey, a squirrel!
491
00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:54,381
[barking]
492
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,040
Ha ha ha! Good boy.
493
00:21:00,709 --> 00:21:02,669
That is one good-looking pet.
494
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:06,292
Oh, no. The owner's the good-looking one.
495
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:07,377
[sighs]
496
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,130
Beaten by a bunny.
497
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,210
Hey, wait. What's that
over to the far left?
498
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:15,751
Leonard, part of my nose
in a national publication.
499
00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:18,084
This is just the beginning.
500
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,628
If part of my nose attracts the eye
501
00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:23,039
way over on the side like that,
502
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,205
perhaps I shouldn't
concentrate on writing.
503
00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:27,631
I could be a supermodel!
504
00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:29,629
[dance music playing]
505
00:21:29,709 --> 00:21:31,879
Do we have any film in the camera?
506
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:32,829
What?
507
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:36,539
I want to take
some test shots to see if--
508
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:38,785
all right, all right, stop it.
509
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,417
Stop it right now, please.
510
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,330
Please, please, stop it!
511
00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:44,207
Ha ha ha!
512
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,381
[panting]
513
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:51,378
Oh, why do humans find that funny?
514
00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:52,458
[chuckles]
35123
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