Original subtitles

"Take thy beak from out my heart,

and take thy form from off my door.

Quoth the raven..."

"Nevermore."

And we bow humbly.

That was beautiful, ladies.

Edgar Allen Poe always gives me chills.

I need a moment. [deep inhale]

Moment taken!

[bell rings]

-Bye, Mrs. Harris. -Bye, girls.

She's so cool.

It's like she's not even a teacher!

I heard that.

Thank you. [chuckles]

Hi, Sophia.

Hi, Sydney.

Hi, Olive.

Notice anything different about me?

-You got your ears pierced! -Both of them!

Not every girl bails after just one ear, Olive.

I didn't bail.

I fainted.

Trust me, it's no big deal.

I held my mom's hand, let out one little whimper...

[whimper] ...and I was done!

You know what? It's time I got my ears pierced.

I mean, if Sophia can do it...

-Hey! -Sorry.

Olive, you in?

I'm in!

I'm gonna sit in that chair,

and face down that needle, and...

Oh, no. It's happening again.

[theme music playing]

♪ Like father, like daughter We don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you Is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter From different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best From your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

[rock music playing]

-Whoa! -[turns off music]

Oh hello, Sydney. [laughing]

Would you believe that's how I grade papers? [laughs]

I get it. Sometimes I Dougie when I'm doing my homework.

I just forgot my sweater.

I was practicing for the Portland Air Guitar competition.

The guitar is fake,

but the pressure is real.

In that case, mind if I give you a few pointers?

Bring it on!

-First of all, we'll start with the face. -Okay.

Give me your guitar player's overbite.

Look more pained.

Like you just stubbed your toe and it really hurts,

but for some weird reason, you kind of like it.

Yeah! Yeah, I'm feeling it!

So am I!

[rock music playing]

Now, play it over your head!

Play it with your teeth!

-But I have gum issues! -It's air guitar!

-Woo! -Oh!

That was awesome!

[grunting] Help me up, help me up!

Sure.

Oh my gosh.

You know, I would really like to win this competition.

You think you could coach me?

I'd love that!

Wow.

The student has become the teacher.

And FYI,

we don't eat free in the cafeteria. I learned that the hard way.

And that, my chicks,

is The Great Gatsby.

Think of that last line.

"So, we beat on,

boats against the current."

So, do you think the boats represent something?

-Maxwell? -Yes.

Okay, could you expand on that?

Uh, I think the boats...

are...

us?

[laughs] You're right!

I woulda lost that bet.

Wonderful, Max. [laughs]

Learning is happening!

I must take a moment.

[bell rings]

Moment ruined!

So, your assignment for Great Gatsby is either

a creative presentation,

or an essay. Your choice.

I know what I'm gonna do. The Charleston!

It's a dance from the '20s.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna write a paper.

English is my "thinglish."

You might wanna go with the puppet show. -Hey, Dad. -Hey, morning, Syd.

Here you go. Pancakes and sausage.

Sorry, Dad. I don't have time.

In that case...

pigs in a blanket!

Thanks.

Oh, and before I forget,

I need you to sign something.

An autograph from the coolest dad in the world?

Who should I make it out to?

Lacey's Earrings And More. I wanna get my ears pierced.

Plus, they're huge fans.

You're getting your ears pierced?

You know I would love to go with you, but--

I know. It's okay, Dad.

Thanks. Just can't stand to see you in pain.

I'd throw my body in front of the needle, who knows what might get pierced?

So, what do you think?

Do I embody the class and style of the Jazz Age or what?

You look like a magician.

How dare you!

I'll have you know, this was my cousin Rusty's best tuxedo.

And now, for the Charleston.

[jazz music playing]

[grunts]

[music ends]

Okay, maybe he was a magician.

You wanna know who's a magician?

Me.

I've turned a blank sheet of paper into an A.

Ta-da!

What is all the racket? You're supposed to be doing your homework.

Hey, Leo. Doing a magic act at school?

No. I'm Jay Gatsby,

the classiest man of his era.

You're reading The Great Gatsby?

That was my favorite book in school.

I wrote a paper so good, Mr. Williger wept.

He did have that leaky eye thing, but he loved it.

I wrote a paper on it, too.

It's called, "Great Gatsby,

Superhero or Supervillain?"

Max, there are no superheroes in The Great Gatsby.

Unless you're being ironic.

What's ironic mean?

That's what I was afraid of.

Mom, just read my paper.

-Maybe you'll learn something. -[chuckles]

Come on, Leo. Let's go play some b-ball.

I better go change, first.

Think I feel something alive in the lining.

Mom, just put the paper in the folder in my backpack

when you're done having your mind blown!

"Gatsby thought he was a superhero.

He had a secret identity known only to his butler,

and even had a super car, the Gat-mobile." Oh, boy.

I should just rewrite this whole thing. No.

Not that kind of a mother. [chuckles]

Oh, yes, I am.

Yo, bestie! Ready to get our ears pierced?

Yeah, about that...

You're chickening out?

Not again. Two classes ago, you were all, "Bring on that needle, fool!"

Then I saw a maintenance guy hitting a nail into a wall,

and started to get wobbly.

If you're out, then I guess I'm out, too.

Sorry, Syd.

Don't worry. We'll get it done eventually.

Let's make a plan right now

to meet at the mall on our 75th birthday.

Can't. I have bingo that day.

Hey, Sydney!

I wanted to thank you for all of your help.

I did my homework last night,

I think I'm getting it.

[imitates guitar sound]

After school, I'm gonna go to the mall

to look for a costume for the competition.

Do you wanna join me?

I would love my coach's advice.

Sure. How rock and roll do you wanna go?

Well, I wanna shock the crowd,

but still keep my job.

What's all this?

It's for Krystal Wind from our drum circle.

Is Krystal Wind a person or an air freshener?

Both, really.

I got stuck making her birthday cake.

It's gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free...

It's basically cake-free.

This will brighten your day.

Sydney had me sign her permission slip to get her ears pierced.

Yay! I've been waiting years for this moment.

You know, I would take her--

Please. You get light-headed when you use a stapler.

Besides, she's not expecting you to. This is our thing.

My mom took me, her mom took her,

and I get to take Sydney!

-She's lucky to have you, Mom. -I'm lucky to have her.

As soon as she gets home, I'm gonna take her.

What are you doing?

I'm baking the cake. I'm just gonna dump all this junk in the bowl.

No, you-- you can't do that.

You have to sift the salt into the flour.

Baking is a science.

Really? It's so complicated.

Just let me do this.

Well, if you insist.

Wait, you tricked me into doing this, didn't you?

No, of course not! But if you need any help, just wait it out. It'll pass.

Since you're still not sure on your air guitar look,

why don't we start with accessories?

Nothing flashy.

Just something that says, "I'm a rock god, bow down to me."

Hi! I'm Abby, and welcome

to Lacey's Earrings And More,

where you can take the girl out of the accessories,

but you can't take the accessories out of the girl. [chuckles]

That makes no sense at all.

I know! [chuckles]

But it's our official Lacey Girl greeting.

And there are cameras.

Hey, Abby, what have you got in rocker jewelry?

Were you thinking punk, grunge, metal,

folk, glam, new wave, emo,

indie, pop--

Okay, can you speed it up? I parked at a meter.

What does this look like?

[both imitating guitar sound]

Metal.

-These zipper earrings might do the trick! -[Mrs. Harris gasps]

I love those!

Okay, I'll take two pair.

One for me, and one for my coach.

That's so nice of you, but...

actually, I can't wear them. My ears aren't pierced.

Oh! I can take care of that.

I am fully trained in piercing.

I have been dying to get my ears pierced.

I even got my permission slip.

[gasps] It's a sign, Sydney.

The universe is trying to tell you something.

Seriously? You think so?

Yeah!

-Okay! Let's do it. -Yes!

I'm so excited. Take a seat.

Oh boy!

I'm here.

In the piercing chair.

Where things get pierced!

Is this a vibrating chair or is it me?

-Here, honey. Take my hand. -[Sydney sighs]

Imagine

you're floating on sun-dappled waters.

There's a balmy breeze--

It's not working.

Imagine you're wearing fabulous earrings.

Now it's working.

Don't worry. You're in good hands.

-I've done this twice before. -What?

[click]

That wasn't painful at all!

Speak for yourself.

-Okay, ready? -[click]

-[whimper] -All done!

Voila!

Look at me, I'm officially pierced!

This is so beautiful.

I feel like a healer.

Except I put holes in people,

which is kind of the opposite.

Mom.

You won't believe it.

I got a C- on my Great Gatsby paper.

What? That's crazy.

That paper was brilliant.

It felt like someone with at least a high school education wrote it.

Maybe even a couple months of college.

That's what I was thinking!

Well, what did the teacher say?

"Not up to your usual standards...

and 'clich.'"

What's "clich"?

Cliché?

She said it was cliché?

It means "unoriginal."

I had a feeling it was something not nice.

But she's totally wrong, Max.

I'm gonna have a talk with that Mrs. Harris.

Wow, Mom.

Never seen you defend me like this before.

That's because I believe in this paper.

Oh, and you.

Olive, I did it!

I got my ears pierced!

Yes, both.

Come over and check them out.

Bye.

Grandma! Guess what?

I already know.

Your dad told me about the permission slip.

I can't wait to take you to get your ears pierced!

Huh?

I have been looking forward to this moment for years.

My mom took me,

and I get to take my little noodle!

I'm just gonna grab my purse, and we'll go.

What? Now?

Yeah. If you think about it too much, you'll never get 'em done.

I don't think you'll have to worry about that.

[knocking]

Hey, Olive.

Let me see those earrings--

Shh! My grandma will hear you!

She wants to take me to get my ears pierced now.

You already got them pierced.

I know.

It turns out, she's been waiting for this moment for years.

-But you didn't know that. -I should've.

If she finds out I already got my ears pierced,

it's gonna break her heart.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

Okay, Syd, ready to go? Hey, Olive.

-Can Olive come with us? -Why?

Whaaat?

Of course! Who wouldn't want their bestie along for this big moment?

Come on, girls!

[door opens]

Wait, still haven't seen them.

[shrieks]

Hi.

Can I talk to you, Mrs. Harris?

Oh, of course, Ms. Reynolds.

Hey, I like what you've done with your hair.

[chuckles] Thank you.

-I thought I would try-- -How could you give Max a C-?

Well because D's are just mean.

D? You must be joking! That paper was well-written and insightful.

It was at least an A-.

B+.

B, and that's my final offer.

I'm sorry, Ms. Reynolds.

I mean, usually Max's papers are full of imagination and creativity,

but this paper had none of that.

I hate to say this, but...

it was boring.

Boring?

I might be a lot of things, lady, but I'm not boring.

Don't you mean Max?

Yes.

Who else would I be talking about?

Ms. Reynolds, is there something

you'd like to share with the class?

[mumbling] I wrote the paper.

Hmm? Little louder, Ms. Reynolds.

Fine.

I wrote the paper.

Yeah, I'm starting to get that feeling.

It's just that Max is doing so well in your class,

and it's really building his confidence.

So, when I saw that Max was comparing Gatsby

to a superhero, I panicked.

You're a good mom, Ms. Reynolds.

Tell Max to turn in his own paper.

I look forward to reading it. [chuckles]

Gatsby as a superhero?

How original!

I like to think that he gets that from his mother.

-I don't-- -Come on! Throw me a bone!

Welcome to Lacey's Earrings And More, where you-- You're back.

I'm back. Listen, my grandma's gonna be here any second,

it turns out, she's always wanted to take me to get my ears pierced.

Oh. I see why you had me skip the intro.

I need you to pretend that you're piercing my ears for the first time.

Got it.

Sorry we're late, but for some reason,

Olive wanted to stop to try to make a duck laugh.

We're here to get my granddaughter's ears pierced.

How exciting.

[nervous laugh]

So, what happens next?

I have never done this before.

Well, we're gonna have you sit in this chair.

And I'm going to swab and mark your unpierced ear. [laughs]

Now, this might hurt a little.

I'm scared.

Will you hold my hand, Grandma?

Of course. I'm here for you, Noodle.

Thank you, Grandma.

I couldn't do this without you.

Okay, ready?

Sydney!

What are you doing here?

Hi, Mrs. Harris.

We're here getting Sydney's ears pierced.

Another piercing?

You rebel! [imitates guitar sound]

Another piercing?

Sydney, you already got your ears pierced.

Yeah.

This afternoon with Mrs. Harris.

Hey, Abby, I need to make an exchange. Um--

Ooh! Oh, I just love those...

doodads way over there. Let's go! Come on!

Grandma, I didn't mean to. We were just shopping,

and then I saw these earrings, and suddenly...

these happened. I'm sorry.

Let's go home.

Olive.

Did I just mess things up?

-You promise not to fail me? -Yes.

Big time.

-Mom, did you talk to Mrs. Harris? -[door closes]

Yes.

She thinks you didn't write that paper.

What? Mom, I didn't cheat this time!

This time?

Or any time?

I don't get it.

Why would she think someone else wrote my paper?

Because someone did.

Who?

Meh...

Meat?

How could meat write my paper?

No.

Me. I wrote your paper.

Why would you do that?

Because I was being a silly, overprotective mother.

I was afraid that if you got a bad grade,

you'd stop believing in yourself.

But I should've believed in you.

I'm sorry, Max.

It's okay.

The important thing is that you learned your lesson.

Now, go to your room!

Don't push it.

Listen, Max, your teacher said you can hand in your original paper.

And if you want, I'd be happy to take another look at it.

Why would I want help from a C- student?

You okay? You didn't come down for dinner.

I wanted to keep a low profile. I guess you heard what happened?

Yeah, I did.

So, let me see them.

Wow. They're beautiful.

I just wish I could enjoy them.

I really hurt Grandma's feelings.

The car ride home was so awkward, she didn't say a single word.

Oof, the silent car ride home. I've had a few of those. All I remember is how I could hear myself blink.

Olive couldn't handle it.

She started singing camp songs.

"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" did not help the mood.

You're singing it in your head right now, aren't you?

Unfortunately, yes.

I didn't know this meant so much to Grandma,

and I don't know how to make it up to her.

I'm all out of ears.

-You think she'd settle for a nose ring? -No!

Hey, Syd. Can I talk to you?

Well...

you two probably have...

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt... ♪

I feel awful about trying to convince you I was having my ears pierced.

I'm so sorry.

I'm afraid I can't accept your apology.

Until you accept mine.

What?

I'm so sorry for reacting the way I did.

Especially the silent car ride home.

That's not the Grandma I wanna be.

If it were, I'd be eating dinner at 5:00 and wearing sensible shoes.

But I hurt your feelings.

That's not your fault.

How were you supposed to know I wanted to go?

I never told you.

I wish you had.

Me, too.

I guess I was hoping we'd share the same moments

that you would've shared with your mom, if she were here.

We have.

Like when I got my braces on.

When I got my braces off.

When you coached the soccer team,

even after I quit three weeks in.

Luckily, I was suspended after five.

Okay!

So we have no future misunderstandings, this is what I call dibs on.

Taking you to get your driver's license,

dropping you off at college,

and jumping out of a plane with you on your first skydive.

Yeah, we're good for the first two.

No skydiving?

It took me this long to get my ears pierced.

Oh, speaking of ears pierced, let me see.

-Ooh! -[both laughing]

Hey, Mom. Guess who got an A?

-You did? -Close. It was me!

That's great, Leo.

Max, did you get your grade?

Yep. I got a B+!

I'm so proud of you!

Yeah, and you know what B stands for?

-What? -Better than my mom!

[man] Oh, yeah!