Original subtitles

This is it, Olive, seventh grade. The big time.

Time to make our mark, blaze a trail, and...

that's all I got!

-Are you even listening? -No.

I'm checking my first day of school horoscope.

Pisces, you are introverted and quiet, but this is... [mumbling]

-I can't hear you. What's it say? -[shouting] It says, I need to speak up!

Well, does it say anything about embarrassing your best friend?

'Cause you nailed it.

-[phones chime] -Hey, Friday's picture day.

I'd better work on my smile. How do I look?

Like you're being held hostage.

Olive, do you realize my class photos look the same since, like, forever?

I need a new look, one that reflects seventh-grade me.

Someone bold, fierce, like a bull crossed with an eagle.

A beagle!

-Keep working on it. -Yeah, not there yet.

Syd? Syd? Syd!

-[Syd] Dad, what are you doing here? -You forgot your lunch in the car.

I think, subconsciously, you weren't ready to say goodbye.

And now you're ready.

-[shouting] Hi, Mr. Reynolds. How are you? -I'm fine, Olive. Are you mic'd?

Dad, thanks for bringing my lunch, but you've got to go.

Okay, okay. I just want to take a quick peek at my old school.

Well, please take it fast. This has seriously high embarrassment potential.

Wow, it's like being in seventh grade all over again.

Hey, this is where my old locker used to be.

Boy, that sucker was always tricky to open.

-Max! -What's up, Leo?

Wait until you hear about computer camp. I learned how to program.

I also swallowed a bee and battled a foot fungus.

Well, while you spent the summer applying ointments,

I learned how to skateboard.

-I nailed the 360 nollie heel-flip. -Is that a chipped tooth?

I also nailed a face-plant.

Leo, I met these awesome skateboard kids at the park.

Call themselves the Dog Boys. They're bad.

-How bad? -How bad?

Getting dark outside means nothing to them.

Who are these people?

Hey, I could use my new camcorder to tape your moves.

Check out how small it is.

Only takes ten D-cell batteries.

Leo, these Dog Boys do whatever they want, skate wherever they want.

They're so cool, they don't even say hi. They just do this...

You mean like this?

No, like this.

-Like this? -No, like this.

-Like this? -Yes!

-Really? -No!

Leo, I could be a Dog Boy.

Got the moves, the clothes. Now I just need the hair.

I'm gonna bleach mine, too.

Right, like your mom would ever let you.

She doesn't tell me what to do.

Well, she does, and I do it, but that's because I want to.

And as your friend, I'm gonna let you believe that.

Well, "the embarrassment potential" is leaving.

-Love ya, honey. [smooches] -Dad!

Um...

-Olive, get me out of here. -I'll be your eyes.

Excuse me! Nothing to see here! Sorry, gotta go!

[theme music playing]

♪ Like father, like daughter We don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you Is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter From different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best From your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

Okay, let's find my new look. How about a pixie cut?

-[Olive] Cute! -Cute's the old me.

Cute's the reason my dad confused me with Gabby Kunkel.

Dude, it made the funniest GIF, your dad kissing Kunkel.

And again, and again, and again, and again.

Let's see you with a bob.

Too young. I've got an idea.

What if I take the blunt bob and add some pink?

-[Olive] And some blonde. -[Syd] And some purple.

-Ooh, I am so here for that. -And what if I shave one side?

Wow, I want to be her friend.

-You are. -I am! -Morning, Dad. -Good morning, Syd.

Dad, remember yesterday

when you kissed Gabby Kunkel in front of the entire school?

How could I forget? Olive keeps sending me the GIF,

again and again... and again.

Well, it made me realize,

I don't want to look like every other girl.

It's time for a change.

I need to do something different with my hair.

-I'm cool with that. -You're the best.

I came up with the most amazing look.

Holy schnikes!

I get it, very funny. Now you can show me the real one.

-That is the real one. -Holy schnikes!

I'll pay you back every penny.

You won't have to. There's no way I'm letting you do it.

Are you serious? Why not?

Because you're too young, and it's too extreme.

It's like a peacock got run over by a lawnmower.

This is so unfair!

As a woman, I should have a choice over how I want my hair to look.

It shouldn't be dictated by a man.

I'm not a man, I'm your father.

Can't you act like a mom for once instead of a dad?

Fair enough. Pretend I'm your mother.

Okay. Mom.

-Yes, sweetie pie? -How awesome is this hairstyle?

I really, really want to get mine done like that, okay?

You'll have to ask your father.

A mother would never say that.

This mother would. I'm an old-fashioned woman.

-Hey, Noodle! -Hey, Grandma.

Thought you were sleeping.

Why waste time doing that? I just took my first spinning class.

The only problem is I can't get "Booty Shake" out of my head.

And now, unfortunately, neither can I.

We thought you wanted to take it easy on your first day of retirement.

Are you kidding? I plan on doing all the things I never got a chance to.

Ride a camel, do a mud-run,

catch my girl Rihanna. You feel me, Syd?

I feel you, Grandma. Your life is kind of just beginning,

-and mine is over. -Oh, what did your dad do now?

What makes you think it's my fault?

Because your generation doesn't get us.

I came up with an awesome new hairstyle for seventh grade,

but my dad won't let me do it.

-And now, you can see why. -It's beyond awesome. It's sick!

If it were up to me, I would let you do it.

But if buzz kill wants to crush your spirits

and whiz on your dreams, that's his call.

-Parents can be so lame. -I know, right?

Now, Syd... Syd, remember, I'm gonna pick you up after school.

It's Taco Truck Tuesday.

Oh, right. I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.

-Why not? -Because I'm not talking to you!

"If it were up to me, I'd let you do it"? Where was that mom when I was a kid?

What are you talking about, Max? I was always the fun mom.

It's 3:34, Max. Where you been?

Been around...

...the library.

-Library, huh? Let's see about that. -No, not the sniff test.

[sniffs] Grass.

[sniffing] Rubber.

[sniffing]

Concrete.

-You can smell concrete? -I can smell your soul.

You've been at the skate park, haven't you?

I can't help it. I love it.

It's the first thing I've ever been good at.

Nonsense, you're good at a lot of things.

Like, um... like, uh... That's not important right now.

You're gonna chip another tooth, or, worse, break your neck,

and I don't want you ending up in a hospital having to blink-talk.

Mom, I know it's not easy being a parent in today's crazy, mixed-up world,

but you're doing a great job.

And you still manage to look so beautiful... and young!

People always ask me, "Is that your older sister?"

Aww, that's so sweet. What do you want?

-I want to bleach my hair. -No.

-Why not? -Because I said so.

Don't you want to know why I want to bleach it?

-Okay, why? -I want to look like a Dog Boy.

Beat it, Fido!

I told him, as a woman, I should have control over my hair.

-Not him. -Wow, you played the woman card?

And the guilt card, the anger card, the "this is so unfair" card.

I emptied the deck.

-And your dad still said no? -He played the "too young" card.

He just doesn't get that I'm not a little kid anymore.

The other night...

...I thought about shaving my legs.

And I'm just finding out about this now?

It was a false alarm. Most of it was fuzz from my leggings.

I can't believe she won't let me bleach my hair.

I'd run away from home if it wasn't mac and cheese night.

Hey, you're putting the kazoos with the whoopee cushions!

Get your head in the game! Okay, okay.

-Hi. Can I have a dinosaur eraser, please? -That'll be 500 tickets.

You only have 497. Nice try, slick.

-Close enough, little man. Here you go. -Thanks!

Why'd you do that?

My dad says every ticket has to be accounted for.

This is a business. It's not just fun and games.

The place is literally called "Just Fun and Games."

I am aware of the irony,

but those are my dad's rules.

I'm tired of being told what to do all the time.

You know what? I'm bleaching my hair.

-But I thought your mom said-- -Who cares what she said.

I'm my own man. I'm 12 and a half.

In some countries, I'd be on my second wife.

[phones chime]

Ooh! It's a reminder. Tomorrow's picture day.

How does this smile look?

Like you sat on something weird.

Olive, I can't have my seventh grade picture

looking like all my others. I'm not that kid anymore.

Know what? I'm doing my hair the way I want.

But your dad said you can't, and you never go against him.

Well, he's never been this wrong.

Besides... he didn't say I couldn't do it myself.

No, he did not.

He also didn't say that I couldn't have you help me.

Are you sure? Maybe you just stopped listening.

Olive, I need you.

-But I-- -Woman-up, man!

Okay, first we color, then we cut, then we shave.

Boy, those are some scary verbs.

-Olive, what are you doing? -Reading the directions.

You've read them three times, in four languages.

[speaks German]

Hurry up. We've got to be done before my dad gets home.

What's gonna happen when he finds out you, you know, totally didn't listen to him?

I know my dad. Once he sees my hair, he's gonna love it.

Is what I keep telling myself.

Hey, I'm pretty good at this! I could literally be a hairdresser.

-Let's pretend we're at a salon. -Okay!

Got any gossip?

Well, you didn't hear it from me,

but there's a girl at school who's dying her hair

without her dad's permission.

-So I've heard. -Boy, word travels fast!

-Hydrogen peroxide. -Check.

-Lemon juice. -Check.

-Your mom's gonna kill you. -Check.

But by the time she finds out, it'll be too late.

What could she do to me then?

Ground you, take away your skateboard, send you to military school.

I'd say she has a lot of good choices.

By the way, where is your mom? She scares me.

Don't worry, she's at the movies. Went to see Home Alone.

[both] Best movie ever!

Okay... it's ready.

Let's do it.

The instructions say it may burn a little.

Please,

I'm not afraid of a little pain.

On the other hand, Holy schnikes!

-My head is on fire! Help! Help! -Here, use this.

-This is my underwear! -Ew!

Water. We need water.

[both] Fish tank!

Syd, you ever wonder how that dent in your wall got there?

Probably something dumb my dad did as a kid.

[both] Boys...

[timer beeps]

Time's up. I can't wait to see how my hair looks.

-Me, too! We make a good team. -A great team.

[screaming] Aah!

[screaming] Aah!

[screaming] Aah!

[screaming] Aah!

Maybe I'll shave my head, or hide in the basement,

or only go out at night.

Please, butt-in with a suggestion.

It says, "To remove semi-permanent dye, wash hair with baking soda and shampoo."

Yes.

What?

You didn't exactly buy semi-permanent dye.

-Please don't say I bought permanent. -Okay.

What else would you like to talk about?

-Olive, what am I going to do? -[knocking]

-Who is it? -It's me, Dad. One second, Dad. I just got out of the shower.

-What am I gonna do? -I don't know.

I'm working on my own defense.

Honey, I've got a surprise for you.

She has one for you, too.

I've been thinking back to when I was your age,

and I decided to lend you the money to do your hair the way you want.

You happy?

Yes.

In fact, I called the salon, and they can take you right away.

Awesome.

Sydney, I know you were upset with me,

but the important thing is you respected my decision

and that means more to me than anything.

[whispers] Now he's just being mean.

Okay, Syd, we're here. So what's with the hat?

Oh, this? It's, uh, my lucky hat.

[muttering] And today I'm gonna need it.

Hi, I'm Gia. You must be Sydney, and you must be her dad.

Max. And just so you know, Sydney can do her hair however she wants.

-Wow, what a great dad! -I've got a great daughter.

[laughs nervously]

Dad, this could take, like, forever.

Why don't you go to a movie and have dinner?

Maybe go to another movie... and eat again.

Are you kidding? I don't want to miss a second of this.

-Let me know when to hit record. -Wow, what a great--

You said that already!

How awesome is this wig? Forget the haircut, I want this.

The blue one, blue's awesome, brings out my eyes. Let's go.

-Sydney. -Or... or pink! Pink is even better.

It's more me. It brings out my... gums.

Sydney, stop.

-I know what you're up to. -You do?

You're trying to save money. Don't worry, this is my treat.

Aw! Sydney, why don't you go put on a smock?

You know, when I was her age, I wanted to look like a Dog Boy.

It's a long story.

Okay, time to take the hat off.

Dad, could you please give me some privacy?

Getting a new look is kind of a big deal.

Gia and I need to create a bond, get a vibe going.

-But, I-- -She's right. It's a girl thing.

-Okay. Okay, I'll leave. -Thank you.

I'm gonna miss the old look.

-Text me when you're done! -You got it!

-Maybe I'll wait in that yogurt place. -Yeah, yeah. Yogurt's great.

Although, there is that new salad spot.

Salad, yeah, salad. That's a healthy choice.

Who am I kidding? I'm getting a corn dog. Bye, honey.

Dad, please don't stare at me.

Say something.

Yell.

What in the world were you thinking?

[hip-hop music playing]

-[music stops] -Okay. Let's see the new look.

[gasps]

Well, the important thing is that you love it.

-Sydney, go to your room. -Dad, for the millionth time, I'm sorry.

What's the haps? Tell me the sitch, upload me.

Turns out my daughter went behind my back, and did her hair the way she wanted.

-You mean like you did? -He what?

I wouldn't let him bleach it, so he did it himself.

It was like I gave birth to a traffic cone.

I can't believe you.

You made me feel like an idiot when you did the exact same thing.

You're such a hypocrite!

-[door slams] -Wow.

She's never talked to me like that,

never done anything like that. What is happening?

-Your daughter's almost a teenager. -No.

No. No!

It's not easy being a single parent, is it?

No, Mom, it's not.

I guess that's why you were so tough on me.

What? I was dope!

I can't believe you made me go to school looking like this.

The kids pretended to roast marshmallows on my head!

[laughs]

That's so mean. Look...

...I know it hasn't been easy since the divorce,

with your dad not being around.

Yeah.

He's always flying all over the world to exotic places.

He's an express delivery pilot. Let's not get carried away.

But that means that I get stuck being the bad guy, Max.

And trust me, I'd much rather be the good guy.

Mom, I know it's not easy being a parent in today's crazy--

Yeah, yeah. I'm beautiful, I'm your sister. What do you want?

-I want to get a nose ring. -Beat it, Carrot Top. -[knocking] -Go away!

-We need to talk. -Well, I'm not listening.

-You were absolutely right. -I'm listening.

I was being a hypocrite.

I did the same thing you did.

Right in this room.

So why'd you get so mad when I did it?

I was hoping we have a better relationship than I did with my mom.

Her answer to everything was, "Because I said so."

And now I've become the "because I said so" guy.

No, you're not. You're not that guy.

-How do you know? -Because I said so.

Dad, you changed your mind.

You were going to let me do my hair the way I wanted,

so it was kind of my fault.

-I know. That's why you're grounded. -I'm what?

-But that's not important right now. -Feels pretty important.

Sydney,

this isn't just about your hair.

This is about you trying to find your place in the world.

Seventh grade can be a scary time.

-I'm not scared. -I meant for me.

I've got to face the fact you're growing up,

changing, discovering boys.

Not to mention all the things going on in your body.

-Grandma! -No, no, no, no.

I know it hasn't been easy growing up without your mom,

but we're gonna get through it like we always have.

Okay, maybe you're right.

Maybe I'm a teeny-tiny, teeny-teeny-tiny bit nervous about seventh grade.

There's so many kids,

and I don't want to get lost.

I understand.

And I get that you want to change, take chances,

but you don't have to do it overnight.

So, slow down?

Baby steps?

Okay, but they're not "baby steps." They're "cool adult lady steps."

-Love you, Dad. -Love you, too.

-Okay, let's get going. -Where?

The salon. I'm not letting you spend seventh grade looking like that.

-Seriously? -Seriously. Right after I take this GIF.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-[door slams] -[snorts] Flank and fire!

Flank and fire!

Grandma, are you okay?

Oh, I just got back from a game of paintball.

We lost a lot of good men.

-So, what do you think? -Oh, baby girl, it's lit!

I thought you were going for something more extreme.

Yeah, well, I decided right now "extreme" might be a little too extreme.

Especially after hearing how my dad's hair turned out.

-Oh, you mean "Big Red?" -[both] Big Red!

Okay, up to your room.

Do I really have to be grounded?

Yep, but you're gonna look mad-fleek doing it.

Dad, you promised you'd stay off social media.

I get it.

-Okay, later, Grandma. -Later, Noodle. [smooches]

[both] Pow!

Ah, remember when I used to ground you, and you'd try to sneak out your window

and climb down the tree. But I always caught you.

Not always, sometimes. Once in a while.

Okay, every time.

I'm not the same parent you were.

Sydney and I have a special bond, a mutual respect.

-[body thuds] -Did you hear something?

Not a thing.

[man] Oh, yeah.