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00:00:00,589 --> 00:00:05,589
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
M_I_SForEver
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00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:38,263
Oh my goodness
3
00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,465
You know what this sounds like?
It's majestic.
4
00:01:40,498 --> 00:01:42,768
You ever hear of Carmina Burana?
5
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:45,504
Hello? Earth to Twitter
McInstagram. Come in!
6
00:01:45,537 --> 00:01:48,373
Oh, uh. Sorry.
What?
7
00:01:48,406 --> 00:01:50,742
Carmina Burana. It's like an
opera, you know.
8
00:01:50,775 --> 00:01:52,711
Bah, bah, bah, bum!
9
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:57,517
It's hard to sing with the Christmas stuff
playing, but it's by some German guy named Orb.
10
00:01:58,483 --> 00:01:59,618
Orff.
11
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:00,085
What?
12
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,722
Off. His name is
Carl Orff.
13
00:02:04,489 --> 00:02:07,225
Karloff? No, he was an actor -
in Dracula.
14
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:08,693
No, the Mummy.
15
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:09,260
What?
16
00:02:09,627 --> 00:02:12,230
I know the piece of
music!
17
00:02:12,264 --> 00:02:15,468
Yeah, so - it's about these
degenerate monks buggering each other.
18
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:18,170
Ain't that something? Ha Ha!
19
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:23,509
Uh, huh. Thanks for
the lift, Uncle Carter.
20
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:24,811
You got it, kiddo!
21
00:02:25,277 --> 00:02:26,812
Fuckin' Germans huh?
22
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,150
But they did make the trains run
on time!
23
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:31,584
Yes sir!
24
00:02:38,389 --> 00:02:39,258
Humph!
25
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:06,085
Yeah, that's what it looks like!
26
00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:09,822
I saw three ships come sailing
in on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.
27
00:03:09,854 --> 00:03:11,890
That's what it looks
like to be a man
28
00:03:11,924 --> 00:03:15,461
on Christmas Day in the morning.
Balls deep! Woo!
29
00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:19,497
Jesus, honey, could you please
not jerk up like that?
30
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:24,503
I I'm sorry baby, it's just the Christmas spirit
is hitting me. It's making me so fucking hard!
31
00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:27,473
I know, I just don't want it to
pierce the back of my throat, okay?
32
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:32,745
Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just-ya know come
on, this is my favorite part.
33
00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:37,582
Oh, they sailed into Bethlehem
on Christmas day, on Christmas day.
34
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,352
Sing it with me, Baby!
35
00:03:39,384 --> 00:03:42,921
On Christmas day, in the
morning. Harmonize!
36
00:03:50,361 --> 00:03:51,563
Humph!
37
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:42,747
Oh my God-we're late!
38
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:45,317
Oh my God! I'll give you $20 if
you just take a breath.
39
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,720
She gets like crazy about
lateness.
40
00:04:47,752 --> 00:04:50,389
Says I'm wasting her life. Same
way I'm wasting mine.
41
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:51,423
Do I hear forty?
42
00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:53,558
It's the smallest poison dart in
her arsenal.
43
00:04:53,591 --> 00:04:55,493
Sixty.
44
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:58,698
You don't understand. She is one of those women
who won't admit I'm her child in public.
45
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:02,033
Because how could she have a child may age.
I mean she actually believes it
46
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,637
when somebody says we look like
sisters.
47
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:08,508
A hundred. I'll give you a hundred
dollars, if you just take a breath.
48
00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:12,610
Ya see that?
49
00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:14,346
It felt really good, didn't it?
You're a hundred dollars richer now.
50
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:16,781
I worked really hard on this,
Ty.
51
00:05:16,814 --> 00:05:18,016
I know.
52
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:22,388
Getting everybody there and the
Secret Santa bullshit and...
53
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:26,992
I just I want it to be
54
00:05:27,024 --> 00:05:28,394
Perfect.
55
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:34,334
You know, I want everybody to
get out of their own way and...
56
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:38,571
Be better.
57
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:43,108
Look, you're doing the right thing, getting
everyone together like this, you are.
58
00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:48,613
And the Secret Santa stuff, but,
you can't save them from themselves sweets.
59
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:51,117
You can only do that for
yourself.
60
00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:56,088
I should let go.
61
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,490
Uh-hum
62
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,793
Maybe if I could just help
Penny!?
63
00:06:13,672 --> 00:06:15,508
Fuckin' Christmas
64
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:44,569
Fuck!
65
00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,038
We're the first ones.
66
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:47,039
Why is that a bad thing?
67
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,641
Oh. She'll be livid.
68
00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:50,108
No one else is on time.
69
00:06:50,141 --> 00:06:52,478
There won't be anyone to split
her fury with.
70
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,646
What about that truck down
there?
71
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:59,718
Caterers. She's been feasting on them
all day. There's no meat on those bones.
72
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,687
Okay, April. Remember what we
talked about in the car?
73
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:05,024
I'm gonna ask for that hundred back
and if you don't change your tune
74
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,725
Oh, my little Rainy Day girl!
75
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:08,593
Hi, Mom.
76
00:07:08,627 --> 00:07:10,896
Mom? It thought this was your
sister.
77
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,866
Ha! And who is this handsome
fella?
78
00:07:13,899 --> 00:07:15,668
This is Ty, Mom.
79
00:07:16,601 --> 00:07:19,938
The guy I told you about the
last nine months?
80
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:23,875
Uggh. Well April I mean, well, who can
keep up with you and all your suitors?
81
00:07:23,908 --> 00:07:26,144
Ouch. Little darty out here.
82
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,180
So nice to meet you.
83
00:07:28,213 --> 00:07:29,948
It's it's just a pleasure to
meet you, Mrs. Pope.
84
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:34,487
Oh please. Mrs. Pope is that shriveled up
beast I was forced to call my mother-in-law.
85
00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:35,520
Nana?
86
00:07:35,553 --> 00:07:37,021
Like she ever cared about you!?
87
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:39,725
Funny, she was late for
everything too.
88
00:07:39,757 --> 00:07:41,693
Must be where my children get
it.
89
00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:44,562
But you Ty, you just call me
Shari.
90
00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:46,798
Absolutely, Shari.
91
00:07:46,831 --> 00:07:49,767
Well come on in, your gonna catch your
death, let's get you to your rooms.
92
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,971
- Yeah, okay.
- You are such a lawyer.
93
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,973
Whatever you say there, Rainy
Day.
94
00:07:55,807 --> 00:07:56,875
Here we are!
95
00:07:56,908 --> 00:08:00,579
But Mom, isn't this the room
with the bunkbeds?
96
00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:05,184
Well, we are a full house tonight.
Otherwise I'd give you separate bedrooms.
97
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,721
But I'm sure Ty here will follow
the house rules, won't you dear?
98
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,757
Oh absolutely, Mrs. Shari.
99
00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:16,996
Oh well, he is a treasure. Let's hope you
can keep your hands on this one, Rainy.
100
00:08:17,028 --> 00:08:21,966
Well, I'll let you unpack, but don't
dilly-dally because I'm serving the crudité
101
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,235
and my famous punch the moment
the others arrive.
102
00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:24,903
Great. Thank you.
103
00:08:30,007 --> 00:08:31,644
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely
felt those.
104
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,945
- Do you see what I mean??
- Wow.
105
00:09:03,174 --> 00:09:06,611
She is like a porcupine.
I'm twenty-nine, she puts us in bunkbeds!
106
00:09:06,644 --> 00:09:10,649
Hey, look, this could be fun. We could build a
fort, we could play cowboy and Indian princess.
107
00:09:10,682 --> 00:09:13,018
I could attack in the middle of
the night...
108
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:15,220
steal your land so to speak.
109
00:09:15,253 --> 00:09:17,089
And why is she telling me about
the fucking punch?
110
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,823
This whole night is gonna blow
up in my damn face...
111
00:09:18,856 --> 00:09:21,159
Hey. No it's not. It's gonna
be great.
112
00:09:21,192 --> 00:09:23,361
How you think she's gonna react when
“He Who Shant Be Named” gets here?
113
00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:24,429
Hey, hey.
114
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:27,900
Your lawyer's here. So,
I'll take the heat for this whole thing,
115
00:09:27,932 --> 00:09:30,201
you can tell everyone it was my
idea in the first place, okay?
116
00:09:30,235 --> 00:09:33,306
Well it kinda was, wasn't it?
117
00:09:34,005 --> 00:09:40,312
And I might be able to get us a better
deal on this bunkbed situation. Okay?
118
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,783
Sweetheart, come, I've just
poured you some punch.
119
00:09:45,817 --> 00:09:46,318
I'll pass.
120
00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:47,852
Come on now-really?
121
00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:50,321
Can you believe she's still on
that AA kick?
122
00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:52,957
No! You're still acting like
you're an alcoholic?
123
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:53,859
It's not an act.
124
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:56,729
Ty, my aunt, Carol Taper.
125
00:09:56,761 --> 00:09:58,196
Klein. It's Klein, dear.
126
00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,063
When did that happen?
127
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:01,833
In June. Marvin and I eloped.
Paris.
128
00:10:01,866 --> 00:10:04,302
Oh, Paris. It's magical.
129
00:10:04,336 --> 00:10:05,971
Why didn't you tell me?
130
00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:08,941
Well, you're so busy climbing your steps,
who knows where you are half the time.
131
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:17,081
Oh Ty, please tell me you're not
going to be drinking Pepsi all night.
132
00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:18,350
Ummm, uhh
133
00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:21,821
Oh, I see Mother may he?
134
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,389
He can do whatever he wants.
135
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,824
Terrific. Ty?
136
00:10:25,557 --> 00:10:28,027
Yeah. Absolutely! Sure, I'll try
some of that, thank you.
137
00:10:28,059 --> 00:10:29,994
You are most welcome, handsome.
138
00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:32,730
Hands off, Mrs. Robinson-he's
taken.
139
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:35,033
Oh, pffft. Oh I almost forgot
140
00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,236
Oh mom, not this again!
141
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:39,437
Cellphones!
142
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:40,438
Come on, come on!
143
00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:41,939
Holiday rules.
144
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:43,308
No Cellphones on Christmas Eve.
145
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:45,844
Really? OK here ya go.
146
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,044
Hey, sis!
147
00:10:47,077 --> 00:10:51,015
Kyle! It's so good to see you.
When did you get here?
148
00:10:51,048 --> 00:10:51,850
About ten
149
00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:53,418
About ten minutes
ago!
150
00:10:53,851 --> 00:10:55,453
Everyone else is in their rooms.
151
00:10:55,486 --> 00:10:56,120
Everyone?
152
00:10:57,456 --> 00:11:00,826
Well sweetheart what do you expect when you lock
yourself away with gorgeous here for an age?
153
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:01,960
We were just getting set
154
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,029
Oh dear, we know
what you were getting
155
00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:05,397
Oh, my God
156
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,370
So did you come up alone?
157
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:12,271
Uh, no, Uncle
158
00:11:12,303 --> 00:11:13,738
Uncle Carter
drove him.
159
00:11:13,772 --> 00:11:15,874
You know what Mom, you don't need
to speak for him every time somebody
160
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:18,976
My goodness!
161
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:22,046
Do those people have any idea
how expensive those are?
162
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,783
This is what happens when you let
your children pick the caterer.
163
00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:28,821
Well, I suggested them because
they're really good on Yelp and they
164
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,956
I know. You've
said.
165
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,692
So, who else is here?
166
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:42,000
Uh, I think Penny got here a few minutes
before us. And, oh Jack's here and he brought a date.
167
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,168
Oh my God, of course he did.
168
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:46,004
Sure did. Wait'll you see what
that cat dragged in.
169
00:11:46,037 --> 00:11:52,244
Bunk beds not gonna slow this elf from making
toys for all the naughty girls and boys, no sir!
170
00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:55,379
I don't know,
thought she was a pretty nice girl.
171
00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:59,183
Oh Holy night!
172
00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:03,489
Oh it's Christmas time in the
mountains
173
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:07,926
plowing a bitch I met a month
ago.
174
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:11,129
Dear diary, best Christmas ever!
175
00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:15,834
You men all think that type is nice. Slutty
with a hot body and perky, gravity defying
176
00:12:15,866 --> 00:12:17,401
Talking about me again, Aunt
Carol?
177
00:12:17,434 --> 00:12:19,037
Penny!
178
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:20,906
Hi!
179
00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:23,341
Jesus, April, what, do you need
a kidney?
180
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,812
No! I'm just happy to see you!
181
00:12:26,845 --> 00:12:27,812
Why?
182
00:12:27,846 --> 00:12:30,816
‘Cause. You're my sister.
183
00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:32,150
How are you?
184
00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:35,187
Oh. Great.
185
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:41,793
They just gave me a raise at work. I'm dating a Hemsworth
and I've got a yeast infection that's making pee fire.
186
00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:45,965
Now one of those things is true.
Guess?
187
00:12:50,368 --> 00:12:52,304
Hey-you must be Penny.
188
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,206
April's told me so much about
you.
189
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:56,175
Why?
190
00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:57,975
What?
191
00:12:58,009 --> 00:12:58,777
Who are you?
192
00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:02,380
Ha. I'm so sorry. I'm Ty. I'm
April's boyfriend.
193
00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:05,116
‘Course you are.
194
00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:08,486
Hey my wiggers! How you living!?
195
00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:09,888
Jackson hi I've missed you.
196
00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:12,524
Wow, little sis, you are fit!
197
00:13:12,557 --> 00:13:13,725
Have you been working out?
Dayum!
198
00:13:13,758 --> 00:13:18,430
Yeah I have. That and not
drinking myself into a stupor.
199
00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:23,434
Hold on there now peach pit. Where do you think
you're going without giving your bro some sugar!?
200
00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:24,836
Half-brother!
201
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:29,508
Oh, I may be your half brother,
but you are all woman! Oh Love it!
202
00:13:30,341 --> 00:13:31,076
Ok down boy.
203
00:13:31,109 --> 00:13:32,945
And who is this?
204
00:13:32,977 --> 00:13:35,447
Oh I'm sorry. I'm Ty. You must
be Jackson.
205
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,849
I must.
206
00:13:37,081 --> 00:13:38,283
And who's this lovely lady?
207
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:40,485
Oh you mean “Her Royal Hotness”?
208
00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:42,588
Jackson, don't be vulgar.
209
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:46,958
Apologies Carol. Everyone this
is Jacqueline.
210
00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:49,093
Jacqueline this is, you know,
everybody.
211
00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:50,461
Hi everybody.
212
00:13:50,828 --> 00:13:52,997
Um Jackson, I need to use the
restroom.
213
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:53,464
Ok
214
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,401
It's just down the hall.
215
00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:01,939
No, Uncle Carter's been
destroying that one for the last twenty minutes.
216
00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,609
Use the Master Bath-upstairs.
217
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,011
Great, thanks.
218
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:10,548
Mom is gonna go nuts when she finds
out Jack's girl used her bathroom.
219
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:12,284
I know.
220
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:16,388
Well I think that's everyone so
who needs a drink?
221
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,156
Well I guess you'll be needing
one.
222
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:20,925
Pop!? Dad? Daddy?!?
223
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,594
What the hell are you doing
here!?
224
00:14:22,927 --> 00:14:24,229
Nice to see you too, Shar.
225
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:27,399
Don't you cause a scene, Leonard.
Christmas is not your holiday!
226
00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:28,899
I know it isn't and I think that
sucks.
227
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:32,437
Well too bad. I knew time-sharing this
house with you would be impossible.
228
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,038
I wanna spend Christmas with my
family too.
229
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:37,408
Well you should've thought about that
before you started fucking Cathy Stewart.
230
00:14:37,442 --> 00:14:41,145
You sure you wanna go toe to toe about
who fucked who and how many times?
231
00:14:41,178 --> 00:14:42,880
I'm not doing this with you
again.
232
00:14:42,913 --> 00:14:46,550
And what the hell is Jackson doing here?
He's my son-he's just your step-son.
233
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:47,484
I'm calling the police.
234
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,654
You wanna do that to our kids,
go ahead.
235
00:14:49,687 --> 00:14:51,557
But I kinda think they want me
here.
236
00:14:52,724 --> 00:14:56,362
Come on, Shar. It's our wedding
anniversary, for Christ's sake.
237
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,065
It's one of the best times of our life.
And look at everything we've created.
238
00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:03,031
Mmmmm. Still the master
manipulator huh?
239
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,571
Been indicted for bribing anyone
at the FDA lately?
240
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:12,077
OK I'm going inside. You wanna call the
cops, call the cops. Be the bad guy.
241
00:15:12,309 --> 00:15:16,480
But you'll be ruining your own party and
causing more of a scene than we already have.
242
00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:20,119
And I know how you feel about
causing a scene, Shar.
243
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,091
Merry Christmas, Everyone!
244
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:28,593
Shit.
245
00:15:28,826 --> 00:15:30,095
Hey pop!
246
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:35,000
I've decided to ask your father
to join us for dinner.
247
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:37,702
Well that's real big of you,
Shar. Thanks.
248
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:40,004
Uh, Daddy?
249
00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:41,139
Uh, Len, your phone.
250
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:42,608
Seriously?
251
00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:45,209
Great doing business with you.
252
00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:49,480
Why are you here?
253
00:15:49,514 --> 00:15:51,048
Because I wanna be with you.
254
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:57,022
And because I don't want your mother to win and
control this holiday for the rest of my life.
255
00:16:00,024 --> 00:16:01,626
Who hasn't gotten punch!?
256
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,294
Thank you, Carol!
257
00:16:10,134 --> 00:16:11,168
She's cute.
258
00:16:11,201 --> 00:16:12,236
What?
259
00:16:12,503 --> 00:16:18,276
Oh, oh, yeah. I
guess. Hey dad.
260
00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:19,444
Hey son.
261
00:16:20,477 --> 00:16:23,048
So. How'd the interview go?
262
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:25,116
Uh, it went great,
Dad.
263
00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:26,384
That's not what I heard.
264
00:16:27,184 --> 00:16:30,555
Can we not do this
now?
265
00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:32,257
Sure.
266
00:16:40,731 --> 00:16:42,467
That went better than expected.
267
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,269
Didn't call the cops. Least for
now.
268
00:16:47,304 --> 00:16:49,574
Thanks for inviting me. Want
some punch.
269
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:53,812
Oh shit I'm sorry I forgot-I
totally forgot about that.
270
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:57,382
Want me... I'll get you
something diff...
271
00:16:57,414 --> 00:17:00,117
You want I should get you a
'Bottie'?
272
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:01,452
Oh, that's my punch!
273
00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,393
Ugh. You should thank me. It
tastes like shit.
274
00:17:20,471 --> 00:17:22,273
You in
here?
275
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:26,879
Shhhh
276
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:31,149
- Oh fuck this!
- Oh fuck this!
277
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:32,284
Oh! Oh!
278
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,218
Ahh! Ouch!
279
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:33,785
Oh sorry.
280
00:17:33,817 --> 00:17:35,119
Seriously?
281
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,188
Sorry man.
282
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,090
Gonna do a
Christmas drive-by Tupac?
283
00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:42,626
We should have
stayed in L.A.
284
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,830
Calm the fuck down, they'll be
cool that I'm black.
285
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:48,600
Oh my God, they
don't even know that I'm gay!
286
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,603
But you are. Very
287
00:17:57,808 --> 00:18:01,145
Shhhh
288
00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:03,282
Can I can I watch, please?
289
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:08,253
Owww! No teeth! No teeth!
290
00:18:08,286 --> 00:18:09,855
‘Cause you were thinking,
with...
291
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:12,256
Figs with ricotta, pistachio and
honey?
292
00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:13,791
Oh of course. Thank you so much.
293
00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:17,295
One moment. Uh what is this?
294
00:18:17,327 --> 00:18:18,797
Figs with ricotta, pistachio and
honey
295
00:18:18,829 --> 00:18:21,633
I know what it is. Why is the
ricotta on the top?
296
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:24,301
Because you couldn't pick it up
if it was at the bottom.
297
00:18:24,335 --> 00:18:26,438
There was to be a puff pastry on
the bottom.
298
00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:27,638
Yes mam but Chef Gordon
299
00:18:27,672 --> 00:18:30,709
I DON'T care what Chef Gordon
thought.
300
00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:35,813
Oh my God. It's like the best bite of food I've
ever had in my life. I mean, it's so light!
301
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:38,716
Shari, stop hogging the figs,
I'd like to try one.
302
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:39,852
Uh thank you.
303
00:18:40,251 --> 00:18:42,354
I'll serve my guests.
304
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,588
These are just luscious!
305
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:48,360
It's something I came up with and
talked to the chef about in there.
306
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:51,196
He wanted to load them down with
a puff pastry.
307
00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:55,800
Wooow! I was bound up something
fierce! Ugh!
308
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,604
Oh good, hors d'oeuvres! I'm
empty!
309
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,575
Carter! Use a ladle!
310
00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:07,879
Oh sorry.
311
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:12,183
Mmm! Those figs tasty! When's
dinner?
312
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:13,818
Oh for God's sake.
313
00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:16,555
Wanna cool it on the bathroom
breaks?
314
00:19:16,587 --> 00:19:17,923
- Got it, Chef
- Grab a dish for the beans
315
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:18,890
Sorry Chef.
316
00:19:18,923 --> 00:19:21,893
Hey, so did Madame like her
puff-less figs?
317
00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:22,559
Inte först.
318
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,863
In English girl, in English.
319
00:19:24,895 --> 00:19:29,500
Oh sorry. Not at first, but then Cpt. Handsome over there
loved them so she took credit for eighty-sixing the pastry.
320
00:19:29,534 --> 00:19:31,403
Java fitter!
321
00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:34,940
You got that right, brother. I
think.
322
00:19:34,972 --> 00:19:39,310
OK, let's see if she likes
this!
323
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,812
That turkey smells devine.
324
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:43,914
Well it should. I woke up at six
this morning to make it.
325
00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:48,720
And then I slaved in that kitchen all day.
I mean that cook in there is just serving.
326
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,355
Oh God, I hope this works.
327
00:19:50,387 --> 00:19:51,489
It will.
328
00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:53,791
I just got to keep it together
till the gift exchange.
329
00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:58,362
Okay, deep breath. Hey, can you
introduce me to your dad?
330
00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:01,566
Yes. Can you just calm calm
down for a second?
331
00:20:01,598 --> 00:20:04,836
What? Am I getting a little
carried away?
332
00:20:04,868 --> 00:20:06,737
I don't know where he is at the
moment.
333
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,272
I'll introduce you.
334
00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:09,875
Sorry. Ok.
335
00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:12,009
It's good. Why are you nervous?
336
00:20:12,042 --> 00:20:13,344
Who's nervous? I'm nervous?
337
00:20:13,377 --> 00:20:17,481
Did you know you can tell a
turkey's gender by it's poop?
338
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:21,853
Males take circular craps and the
girls make sort of a “j” shaped poop.
339
00:20:21,885 --> 00:20:22,820
Ugh
340
00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:39,938
What? Am I popping out again?
341
00:20:39,971 --> 00:20:42,441
No dear. You're fine.
342
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:47,646
I really didn't think I would need to
explain, but could you please all respect
343
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:50,449
that the Master Suite is off
limits!
344
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,986
Ladies and Gentlemen. Please
take your seats.
345
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:57,556
Dinner will be served.
Presently.
346
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:03,894
Whoever heard of the help announcing
when the dinner will be served?
347
00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:09,500
Someone telling the Hydra when
dinner will be served?
348
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:10,802
This'll be good!
349
00:21:10,835 --> 00:21:13,004
Dad, this is my boyfriend, Ty.
350
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:14,773
It's fantastic to meet you, Mr.
Pope.
351
00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:16,007
Good to meet you. Ty?
352
00:21:16,974 --> 00:21:22,813
Now look! I don't know how you think you are, but I
slaved over that bird, and I'll say when to serve it.
353
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:29,854
Yes, ma'am. I just thought since I was not
told about the figs that you “slaved” over,
354
00:21:29,886 --> 00:21:32,390
that it was still dealer's
choice with dinner.
355
00:21:33,657 --> 00:21:36,594
Just bring the sides. I'll
handle the turkey.
356
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,998
I would be happy to “give you
the bird” ma'am.
357
00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:07,758
Here comes the big presentation.
358
00:22:07,791 --> 00:22:09,159
Of what?
359
00:22:09,193 --> 00:22:13,030
Ladies and Gentlemen.
May I present Shari Pope's famous turkey.
360
00:22:47,565 --> 00:22:52,570
Well I guess you're all wondering
why I called you all here tonight?
361
00:22:52,603 --> 00:22:55,006
Come on everybody.
Mangia, mangia!
362
00:22:55,038 --> 00:22:56,140
Bon Appetit!
363
00:22:56,173 --> 00:22:59,877
I would hate for this exquisite
meal I made to get cold.
364
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:05,717
You know I read the average holiday meal has over forty-five
hundred calories and over two hundred grams of fat.
365
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:06,884
But
366
00:23:07,818 --> 00:23:09,520
This looks terrific.
367
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,990
It's been a heck of a year in
the pharmaceuticals game.
368
00:23:12,022 --> 00:23:15,426
I mean we've recorded record
profits four quarters in a row.
369
00:23:15,826 --> 00:23:18,128
Yeah, I been reading about that
class action suit, Leo.
370
00:23:18,162 --> 00:23:19,896
That sounds like a real mess.
371
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:23,769
Sounds like your legal team ain't gonna be
able to make that go away like in the '90's,
372
00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:27,204
That's why we're shit-canning
those motherfucking,
373
00:23:27,238 --> 00:23:27,971
cocksucking,
374
00:23:28,005 --> 00:23:29,007
cunt-singing,
375
00:23:29,039 --> 00:23:29,673
tiny-ass,
376
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,176
fucking little, shit-faced,
377
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:33,044
piss-ass, lawyer fucks!
378
00:23:36,847 --> 00:23:38,950
I'm sorry.
379
00:23:39,182 --> 00:23:41,987
I don't know where that came from.
I shouldn't have said that.
380
00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:45,757
Can we just keep it between
ourselves?
381
00:23:45,789 --> 00:23:47,925
Yeah. Suuure.
382
00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:51,930
Absolutely Mr. Pope. Whatever you say, I want to assure
you that it doesn't go any further than my ears.
383
00:23:54,965 --> 00:23:57,468
So how long have
you two been dating?
384
00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:58,336
Two months.
385
00:23:58,369 --> 00:24:00,037
And where did you
meet?
386
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:01,439
Restaurant. Strip Club.
387
00:24:03,673 --> 00:24:06,778
It was like a dance place where
people take their pants off
388
00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:09,079
Does anybody else feel like it's
hot in here?
389
00:24:20,290 --> 00:24:23,260
Just once a year, you couldn't
eat a real meal with your family?
390
00:24:23,294 --> 00:24:26,564
This is a real meal, Mother. And
I'm eating it with my family.
391
00:24:26,596 --> 00:24:29,533
You know what I mean. Have some
of my turkey. It's exquisite.
392
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:30,668
You know I'm allergic.
393
00:24:30,701 --> 00:24:31,702
It's all in your head!
394
00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:33,638
How can you say that?
395
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:37,008
I missed going to Europe with the Chorphenians in
high school because they thought I had leprosy.
396
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,442
It was just hives!
397
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:42,080
That I got because the kids at
school tricked me into eating turkey.
398
00:24:42,113 --> 00:24:43,780
That was unfounded.
399
00:24:43,814 --> 00:24:46,584
April's cheerleader friends were
completely innocent of that.
400
00:24:46,616 --> 00:24:49,854
Course you would think so.
How could pretty girls do horrible things?
401
00:24:49,886 --> 00:24:53,590
You just have it out for anyone
who's beautiful. Why is that?
402
00:24:53,624 --> 00:24:55,159
Because they poisoned me!
403
00:24:55,192 --> 00:24:59,596
That is not true. You were just a
nervous child, and you didn't want to go.
404
00:24:59,630 --> 00:25:01,165
I'd been training my whole life
to go.
405
00:25:01,198 --> 00:25:03,067
You had a fear of success dear.
406
00:25:03,099 --> 00:25:04,734
This is what she does.
407
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:07,305
She denies there's a problem because of
her need for all of us to be perfect.
408
00:25:07,337 --> 00:25:08,505
Oh don't you start!
409
00:25:08,538 --> 00:25:11,174
One daughter who won't eat. The
other who won't drink!
410
00:25:11,208 --> 00:25:12,176
Because I'm an alcoholic.
411
00:25:12,209 --> 00:25:14,578
I do not like that word and no
you're not!
412
00:25:14,612 --> 00:25:15,213
Yes I am.
413
00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:17,015
How do you know?
414
00:25:17,048 --> 00:25:19,851
Because when I drink I get mean and hurt the
people I love. When I drink I become an asshole.
415
00:25:19,884 --> 00:25:22,753
Well you're not drinking now, so
what's your excuse!?
416
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,255
OK this is getting out of hand!
417
00:25:24,288 --> 00:25:26,057
Oh so I'm the bad guy!?
418
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:30,894
I suffer and work til my bones ache, to give
these children everything and look what I get!
419
00:25:30,928 --> 00:25:33,898
One daughter who stops drinking
and becomes meaner than a hornet.
420
00:25:33,931 --> 00:25:38,001
And the other one who stops eating
and is still as fat as a house!
421
00:25:45,609 --> 00:25:48,112
I don't know why I said that.
422
00:25:48,512 --> 00:25:51,682
My pretty face not making up for
it anymore, mom?
423
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:57,055
No, Penny. You do have a pretty
face.
424
00:26:01,759 --> 00:26:04,895
Hey I have an idea. Why don't we
play Secret Santa?
425
00:26:04,929 --> 00:26:05,930
I second that idea.
426
00:26:05,963 --> 00:26:08,131
But we haven't had the
deserts yet!
427
00:26:08,164 --> 00:26:10,701
We can have them when we play.
How's that sound?
428
00:26:10,734 --> 00:26:11,635
I think that sounds nice.
429
00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,672
I'm with my lady. Let's do it,
Shar.
430
00:26:14,672 --> 00:26:16,074
Ok.
431
00:26:28,385 --> 00:26:31,122
And our first contestant is
432
00:26:32,323 --> 00:26:33,792
Jackson!
433
00:26:34,924 --> 00:26:35,993
Here you go Jacks.
434
00:26:36,027 --> 00:26:38,696
And this is for you, Jacqueline.
435
00:26:38,729 --> 00:26:39,462
Really?
436
00:26:39,963 --> 00:26:43,300
Oh I didn't know, we just
brought wine for everybody.
437
00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:45,803
Oh that's ok baby. See this is
the way it works.
438
00:26:45,836 --> 00:26:47,837
Everyone in the family gets the
name of someone else in the family.
439
00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:52,310
That's who you have to buy for and if you bring
someone then you have to get a gift for them too.
440
00:26:52,343 --> 00:26:53,845
Oh that's why you only
441
00:26:53,877 --> 00:26:55,812
No, no, no, no!
442
00:26:55,846 --> 00:26:58,048
You don't want to
give anything away
443
00:26:58,082 --> 00:27:00,184
Kyle. Kyle. Let
Jackson tell it.
444
00:27:00,217 --> 00:27:01,152
He's doing great Shar.
445
00:27:01,184 --> 00:27:03,855
Oh I know. I know. But you tell
it so good.
446
00:27:05,823 --> 00:27:07,225
Go ahead, bro.
447
00:27:08,291 --> 00:27:14,698
OK. Well you don't want to give anything away. The fun is when
you get your gift everyone has to guess who bought it for them.
448
00:27:14,731 --> 00:27:19,037
That's the game. And whoever gets the most
right wins becomes the game master next year.
449
00:27:19,069 --> 00:27:20,771
And then they decide who gives
to who.
450
00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:22,240
And the game master doesn't get
a gift?
451
00:27:22,272 --> 00:27:25,409
No. But when you see some of the
gifts, you're usually dodging a bullet!
452
00:27:25,809 --> 00:27:27,744
That's right, I said it!
453
00:27:27,778 --> 00:27:29,947
Oh that's terrible.
454
00:27:29,980 --> 00:27:33,750
What's terrible? Last year you gave me that fakakta
exercise band that told me what a lazy bastard I am.
455
00:27:33,784 --> 00:27:36,721
Oh shush you lazy bastard, you
lost 20 pounds.
456
00:27:36,753 --> 00:27:38,022
It's a book!
457
00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:41,092
Le Chansons De Bilitis
458
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:43,894
Oh I know this book! That's
amazing!
459
00:27:43,928 --> 00:27:46,031
Carol. Did you!?
460
00:27:49,165 --> 00:27:52,169
Ohhh. I don't know what
461
00:27:52,202 --> 00:27:53,805
It's a necklace.
462
00:27:56,006 --> 00:27:58,843
Shar, that's amazing. And the
book, thank you.
463
00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:01,778
It's a first edition in the
original French.
464
00:28:01,811 --> 00:28:03,013
I thought you'd like it.
465
00:28:03,047 --> 00:28:04,382
I love it.
466
00:28:04,414 --> 00:28:07,451
Is that the book of poems about
lesbian erotica?
467
00:28:07,484 --> 00:28:09,219
What?
468
00:28:09,253 --> 00:28:11,822
Ce que chante la corneille, chante le corneillon.
469
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:17,195
Oh for goodness sakes. It's
simple!
470
00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:19,130
Just give it to me.
471
00:28:29,173 --> 00:28:31,342
There you go.
472
00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:35,445
Wha, what? I watch a lot of
Project Ru, Ru, Ru..
473
00:28:35,479 --> 00:28:38,182
...t, t, t, to, Top Gun
474
00:28:38,214 --> 00:28:41,752
It's lovely, Mrs. Pope. Thank
you.
475
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:44,989
You're welcome dear. It's from
my favorite designer.
476
00:28:45,021 --> 00:28:46,823
Jacques Du Pierre
477
00:28:46,856 --> 00:28:49,026
We have early versions of the
same necklace.
478
00:28:49,058 --> 00:28:51,028
We don't know how to put them on
either.
479
00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:53,396
I can show you how, if you wa
480
00:28:53,430 --> 00:28:54,431
No thanks
481
00:28:54,464 --> 00:28:56,266
What's that thing you said in
French, Leonard?
482
00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:59,036
Who wrote down Shari as my
Secret Santa?
483
00:28:59,068 --> 00:29:01,806
I thought it was Kyle. I don't
know what the kids are into.
484
00:29:01,838 --> 00:29:04,142
Alright, who's next?
485
00:29:04,174 --> 00:29:05,909
This is cracking me up.
486
00:29:05,942 --> 00:29:08,113
Oh, it's me!
487
00:29:08,512 --> 00:29:11,281
I guess this is all there is.
488
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:16,888
It's tickets.
489
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:20,024
A concert to the London Royal
Philharmonic.
490
00:29:20,057 --> 00:29:20,924
It's lovely.
491
00:29:20,958 --> 00:29:23,528
You're going to
London.
492
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,996
Well now we know it's not Kyle.
493
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:29,534
Unless he's trying to use
subterfuge by asking a question.
494
00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:30,968
I bet it's Kyle.
495
00:29:31,999 --> 00:29:31,935
Maybe.
496
00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:34,138
Is it hot in here?
497
00:29:34,171 --> 00:29:37,240
Marvin does most of his work in
Europe. Banking.
498
00:29:37,273 --> 00:29:40,110
He's there now. I'm joining him
on Tuesday.
499
00:29:40,144 --> 00:29:41,345
That's why he's not here.
500
00:29:41,377 --> 00:29:44,148
Well that, and he's a Jew.
501
00:29:44,548 --> 00:29:45,250
You know.
502
00:29:45,782 --> 00:29:46,983
What's the show sis?
503
00:29:47,017 --> 00:29:48,019
Oh shit.
504
00:29:48,051 --> 00:29:49,920
Now I'm giving myself away
505
00:29:51,255 --> 00:29:52,824
Or am I?
506
00:29:53,324 --> 00:29:55,125
It's a Debussy Concert.
507
00:29:55,159 --> 00:29:57,595
Debussy? What piece?
508
00:29:57,627 --> 00:30:01,432
It's one of his middle works.
Lesser known.
509
00:30:01,464 --> 00:30:02,933
Which one?
510
00:30:04,034 --> 00:30:07,238
Les Trois Chansons de Bilitis
511
00:30:07,270 --> 00:30:08,239
Wait a second!
512
00:30:08,271 --> 00:30:10,407
That's the same as the book
Shari gave Jack.
513
00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:11,976
Is that about lesbians also?
514
00:30:12,009 --> 00:30:13,611
What the hell's going on with
you people?
515
00:30:13,644 --> 00:30:16,012
Did Shari buy for two of us!?
That's not right.
516
00:30:16,046 --> 00:30:18,349
You could almost call it
unnatural.
517
00:30:19,182 --> 00:30:22,619
Pourquoi ne l'avez-vous
pas encore baise.
518
00:30:22,653 --> 00:30:23,653
What the heck does that mean?
519
00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:26,057
It means “Why don't you fuck him
already?”
520
00:30:26,089 --> 00:30:27,925
Or is that a moot point?
521
00:30:32,096 --> 00:30:35,066
OK you know what?
Time to lighten the mood here a bit um...
522
00:30:35,098 --> 00:30:36,366
What's going on?
523
00:30:36,401 --> 00:30:38,635
What's going on is the next
person's getting their gift.
524
00:30:38,669 --> 00:30:40,872
Jack did you give those tickets
to your Aunt?
525
00:30:41,471 --> 00:30:45,142
The next name is
526
00:30:45,174 --> 00:30:46,309
April.
527
00:30:46,343 --> 00:30:49,580
But she's the game master. She
doesn't get a gift.
528
00:30:49,613 --> 00:30:54,184
Well Kyle. It is my hope that I'll
be the one getting the gift tonight.
529
00:30:55,318 --> 00:30:56,354
What are you doing?
530
00:30:59,088 --> 00:31:03,394
I'm trying to spend the rest of my life with
the woman I've waited my whole life to find.
531
00:31:11,999 --> 00:31:12,002
Oh my
532
00:31:22,578 --> 00:31:23,413
Pecan
533
00:31:34,191 --> 00:31:37,495
Do you... do you want to marry
me?
534
00:31:38,328 --> 00:31:43,400
For you to ask me here, tonight,
after everything you have seen.
535
00:31:43,433 --> 00:31:45,970
Hell yes, I will marry you!
536
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:04,956
That's awesome.
537
00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:07,525
Life wasn't quite perfect enough
for April,
538
00:32:07,557 --> 00:32:11,394
but now that she's found Prince Caspian
here, everything's right with the world.
539
00:32:11,428 --> 00:32:13,998
You know Penny, you don't have
to shit all over your sister's
540
00:32:14,030 --> 00:32:16,634
Dad, don't. It's ok.
541
00:32:16,967 --> 00:32:19,270
Hey sis congrats.
542
00:32:19,303 --> 00:32:21,005
Thanks, Kyle.
543
00:32:21,038 --> 00:32:26,544
You were right, Kyle. It wasn't April's
turn. I was looking for a good opportunity.
544
00:32:26,576 --> 00:32:30,647
It's alright. Anyway. The name I
picked anyway was Penny.
545
00:32:31,048 --> 00:32:34,250
Christ sake even the stripper is
empathizing with the cheerleader?
546
00:32:34,284 --> 00:32:35,987
That's enough young lady.
547
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:52,403
Plane tickets?
548
00:32:53,136 --> 00:32:55,605
Is she going to London to watch
lesbians too?
549
00:32:55,972 --> 00:32:57,508
Well these are tickets.
550
00:32:57,540 --> 00:32:58,442
London,
551
00:32:58,474 --> 00:32:59,542
Paris,
552
00:32:59,576 --> 00:33:00,778
Berlin,
553
00:33:00,810 --> 00:33:01,678
Barcelona
554
00:33:01,711 --> 00:33:03,347
Bar━THE-lona
555
00:33:03,614 --> 00:33:07,284
It's for a tour of Europe and
there's other tickets too
556
00:33:07,317 --> 00:33:10,354
A shit-ton of theater and opera.
557
00:33:10,386 --> 00:33:12,455
I'd be gone for over a month.
558
00:33:12,489 --> 00:33:16,394
I can't take off that much work. Who
the hell got me a trip through Europe!?
559
00:33:16,426 --> 00:33:21,765
Well it's dad's company so he's the
only one who could get you that kinda time off.
560
00:33:22,665 --> 00:33:28,572
I didn't get you the trip. I just made sure you had enough
time to take it. That call came in from someone else.
561
00:33:35,612 --> 00:33:36,447
You
562
00:33:38,082 --> 00:33:38,783
Why?
563
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:42,720
This must be like ten grand in
plane tickets alone.
564
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,254
Hold the phone.
565
00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:46,390
I thought there was a three
hundred dollar limit on this deal!
566
00:33:46,423 --> 00:33:48,625
With the show tickets it's like
twelve grand.
567
00:33:48,659 --> 00:33:49,527
Hotels included.
568
00:33:49,559 --> 00:33:51,761
Shit I hope you get me next
year, sis.
569
00:33:51,795 --> 00:33:53,798
You spent fifteen grand?
570
00:33:54,097 --> 00:33:55,665
And it's still not enough.
571
00:33:56,066 --> 00:33:57,769
Not for what I did.
572
00:33:59,502 --> 00:34:01,172
What did you do?
573
00:34:03,106 --> 00:34:05,509
It's what I didn't do.
574
00:34:06,576 --> 00:34:08,579
I didn't warn you.
575
00:34:11,347 --> 00:34:14,418
I knew the meatballs were made
with turkey.
576
00:34:14,885 --> 00:34:16,788
I knew you'd have a reaction.
577
00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:18,189
I knew it.
578
00:34:18,588 --> 00:34:22,226
But I wanted to sit at the cool
kids table and
579
00:34:25,862 --> 00:34:31,268
I let them steal your trip to Europe and
no I can't replace what you lost. But thats
580
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:33,670
This is the best its
581
00:34:34,637 --> 00:34:36,673
It's the least I could do.
582
00:34:38,275 --> 00:34:39,077
You're right.
583
00:34:41,378 --> 00:34:43,681
It is the least you could do,
you fucking bitch.
584
00:34:43,947 --> 00:34:46,483
I have had just about enough of
this!
585
00:34:46,516 --> 00:34:47,884
Enough of what!?
586
00:34:47,918 --> 00:34:50,520
Polly perfect just admitted she was
with the bitches who poisoned me.
587
00:34:50,554 --> 00:34:53,891
Oh for goodness sake. She didn't
poison you. She just did't tell you.
588
00:34:53,923 --> 00:34:55,559
Oh my fucking God!
589
00:34:55,592 --> 00:34:56,559
Please don't help mom.
590
00:34:56,592 --> 00:34:57,627
What. You're my child.
591
00:34:57,661 --> 00:34:59,163
And what am I!?
592
00:34:59,195 --> 00:35:02,465
I might not be a supermodel mom, but I
came out of your overused vagina too!
593
00:35:02,498 --> 00:35:03,567
Oh this is too much!
594
00:35:03,599 --> 00:35:04,501
It IS hot in here.
595
00:35:04,534 --> 00:35:06,203
You are an outrageous person.
596
00:35:06,237 --> 00:35:10,240
Oh I wouldn't go around throwing insults,
Jocasta, at least I'm not fucking my own son.
597
00:35:10,273 --> 00:35:11,842
- Hey.
- Shut the fuck up, Oedipus!
598
00:35:11,875 --> 00:35:13,277
Get out of my house!
599
00:35:13,309 --> 00:35:14,777
She's not going anywhere, it's
my house too!
600
00:35:14,811 --> 00:35:15,813
Not tonight it isn't!
601
00:35:15,846 --> 00:35:17,481
I paid for it!
602
00:35:17,514 --> 00:35:20,617
Oh, well, if that's the standard, then I
guess Carol needs to tell her new husband
603
00:35:20,650 --> 00:35:22,552
That you get her tits half the
time!
604
00:35:22,585 --> 00:35:23,987
What are you talking about?
605
00:35:24,021 --> 00:35:27,158
Oh zip it. I know he paid for your
tits, just like he paid for mine!
606
00:35:27,190 --> 00:35:29,192
He likes tits on the women he
fucks!
607
00:35:29,226 --> 00:35:30,227
I... I... I...
608
00:35:30,260 --> 00:35:32,730
I... I... I... now you sound
like my idiot son!
609
00:35:32,762 --> 00:35:33,998
Hey!
610
00:35:34,030 --> 00:35:35,632
You want everything I have, you
always did, you jealous witch!
611
00:35:35,666 --> 00:35:39,503
Are you out of your fucking mind!? Why
would I ever want anything that's yours?!
612
00:35:39,536 --> 00:35:43,173
So you could be me! That's why you fucked
my husband and that's why you fucked my...
613
00:35:43,206 --> 00:35:43,907
SON!!
614
00:35:44,574 --> 00:35:48,444
Son is the word you're looking
for you diseased whore!
615
00:35:48,478 --> 00:35:54,751
I may have slept with your fucking sister,
but you slept with my son, you guttersnipe!
616
00:35:54,784 --> 00:35:58,588
Hey! Now you shut your mouth your mouth
about my sisters, you vile son of a bitch!
617
00:35:58,621 --> 00:36:02,225
Look at the class of people you created
with that diseased cock of yours!
618
00:36:02,259 --> 00:36:03,626
An incestuous gigalo!
619
00:36:03,659 --> 00:36:04,795
A poisoning viper!
620
00:36:04,827 --> 00:36:06,864
A stuttering retard!! And a pig
with a...
621
00:36:08,599 --> 00:36:09,534
Oh my God!
622
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,870
He's murdering Carter! Someone
help!
623
00:36:14,838 --> 00:36:15,706
Call the police!
624
00:36:15,739 --> 00:36:16,941
Nobody's calling anyone!
625
00:36:18,507 --> 00:36:20,343
Oh God, oh Gaaaa!
626
00:36:20,911 --> 00:36:21,811
Get the phones!!
627
00:36:21,844 --> 00:36:24,481
Oh God NO!
628
00:36:36,525 --> 00:36:37,360
No!
629
00:36:39,862 --> 00:36:42,332
Why would you do that, you
bitch!
630
00:36:49,905 --> 00:36:51,576
Oh my God, Carter!
631
00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:55,378
Ahhh! God damn it!
632
00:36:55,411 --> 00:36:57,647
Hey! You don't have to be so
rough with him, alright! Just...
633
00:36:57,681 --> 00:36:58,749
Get off me, man!
634
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,789
Come on Penny, this is nuts!
635
00:37:05,822 --> 00:37:08,459
Back off, Prom Queen.
636
00:37:08,492 --> 00:37:10,527
God damn! This guy must work
out for a living!
637
00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:12,962
Get off me! Get the fuck off
me!
638
00:37:12,996 --> 00:37:14,798
You killed him, you maniac!
639
00:37:14,831 --> 00:37:16,567
Ahhhhhhhhh!!
640
00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:20,336
Fuck you man! You're going to
fucking prison!
641
00:37:20,369 --> 00:37:23,373
No one's going to prison,
because no one's taking my father anywhere!
642
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:24,375
You dig?!
643
00:37:24,407 --> 00:37:27,344
Get them off me, Penny! I can't
fucking breathe!
644
00:37:27,376 --> 00:37:28,445
Get off of him!
645
00:37:28,478 --> 00:37:30,313
Penny, get that knife away from
Jacqueline's throat!
646
00:37:30,347 --> 00:37:31,649
Not till you let Dad off the
floor!
647
00:37:31,681 --> 00:37:34,651
Penny, listen to me,
we're trying to keep Dad safe right now.
648
00:37:34,684 --> 00:37:37,954
Oh yeah, fuck you! You
mutherfucker!
649
00:37:37,987 --> 00:37:40,490
Step-mutherfucker, Dad! Hold it
together!
650
00:37:40,523 --> 00:37:41,991
Why is it so fucking hot in
here!
651
00:37:42,025 --> 00:37:43,693
Penny, just let Jacqueline go.
652
00:37:43,726 --> 00:37:46,329
Why, you got some tainted meat
you want to feed her?
653
00:37:46,362 --> 00:37:48,998
I'm not fucking around here,
Penny, let her go!
654
00:37:49,032 --> 00:37:50,467
Not till you let Dad go!
655
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,702
Let her go, you fucking bitch!
656
00:37:52,735 --> 00:37:56,639
You think he loves you? No one loves you,
you loser, your parents named you Penny
657
00:37:56,672 --> 00:37:58,408
because its what they thought
you were worth!
658
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:00,644
You don't know shit!
659
00:38:00,677 --> 00:38:04,914
What I DO know is that the only way a miserable shit-stain
like you can get a job is because Daddy gave it to you!
660
00:38:04,947 --> 00:38:06,349
You think that makes him proud?
661
00:38:06,382 --> 00:38:07,850
You think that shows he loves
you?
662
00:38:07,885 --> 00:38:11,789
He fucking hates you for that!
He's fucking ashamed you're his daughter.
663
00:38:11,822 --> 00:38:14,825
You know how I know? Cause he
told me. HIMSELF!
664
00:38:16,592 --> 00:38:19,329
Let him GO!!
665
00:38:19,362 --> 00:38:24,067
Fine! FUCK IT! I'll knock you
fat ass out myself!!
666
00:38:24,101 --> 00:38:27,305
Aw, what are you doin' man! Come
on, a little help here!
667
00:38:28,072 --> 00:38:29,840
Now... now what are you doin'
man?!
668
00:38:29,873 --> 00:38:31,541
Raaaaahh!!!
669
00:38:33,577 --> 00:38:36,547
Aahmygosh!! put the fucking
knife down!
670
00:38:38,547 --> 00:38:40,016
Ow! You stupid bitch!
671
00:38:44,621 --> 00:38:46,090
Oh my God!
672
00:38:53,929 --> 00:38:55,965
Ahhh! Get this crazy
mutherfucker off me.
673
00:38:58,835 --> 00:39:01,038
What did you do to my dad?!
674
00:39:04,007 --> 00:39:05,443
Hey!
675
00:39:23,159 --> 00:39:24,561
Oh my God!
676
00:39:29,666 --> 00:39:32,135
I... I didn't know what else I
could do.
677
00:39:34,503 --> 00:39:35,940
Is he dead?
678
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,809
He's alive.
679
00:39:38,842 --> 00:39:39,610
Oh thank God!
680
00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:40,778
He's okay too.
681
00:39:40,811 --> 00:39:42,846
Well he's still fucking dead!
682
00:39:42,878 --> 00:39:45,081
Oh my God, Uncle
Carter.
683
00:39:45,114 --> 00:39:47,683
What's wrong with them? It's
like they've lost their minds!
684
00:39:47,717 --> 00:39:49,653
That's what it was, they're out
of their damn minds!
685
00:39:49,686 --> 00:39:50,653
It's like they were possessed.
686
00:39:50,686 --> 00:39:52,522
Yeah, that's what it is.
They're possessed!
687
00:39:56,126 --> 00:39:57,528
Fuck! Stop it!
688
00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:00,463
Well...
689
00:40:00,496 --> 00:40:02,832
I know what we have to do first.
690
00:40:12,775 --> 00:40:14,243
Are you sure that's gonna hold?
691
00:40:14,277 --> 00:40:17,880
Shit, I held a bumper on a van with
duct tape for six months. Watch out.
692
00:40:17,914 --> 00:40:19,583
Oh God! I can't look at that.
693
00:40:19,615 --> 00:40:21,818
That's the whole reason we're
moving the poor man.
694
00:40:40,036 --> 00:40:42,139
And why do you have a lock on
the outside of the door?
695
00:40:42,172 --> 00:40:43,706
It was the kids room.
696
00:40:43,739 --> 00:40:44,840
Yeah?
697
00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:48,778
Well, sometimes children
shouldn't be heard... or seen.
698
00:40:48,811 --> 00:40:50,580
Haven't you been listening?
699
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:54,717
There were a lot of things that went down in
this house that you wouldn't want kids to see.
700
00:40:54,751 --> 00:40:58,189
Witness. Kids to witness is more
like it.
701
00:40:59,523 --> 00:41:00,591
Oh shit!
702
00:41:04,894 --> 00:41:06,496
It's fucking dead. It's fucked.
703
00:41:06,762 --> 00:41:08,130
We gotta call the police.
704
00:41:08,164 --> 00:41:09,632
Any luck?
705
00:41:09,666 --> 00:41:12,635
No, I put a couple of em in the
cauliflower rice, but they're all dead.
706
00:41:12,668 --> 00:41:14,538
Sugar in the punch killed 'em.
707
00:41:14,570 --> 00:41:16,507
Yeah, the sugar.
708
00:41:16,539 --> 00:41:17,775
You say something?
709
00:41:18,474 --> 00:41:20,277
Who doesn't have a fucking house
phone?
710
00:41:20,309 --> 00:41:21,777
Mom? What are you doing?
711
00:41:21,811 --> 00:41:25,815
Well, if the police come, I have to
tidy up. It can't look like a pig sty.
712
00:41:25,849 --> 00:41:29,952
It's not gonna clean itself. And lord
knows the help have been no help at all.
713
00:41:29,985 --> 00:41:31,621
Is she fucking kidding?
714
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:34,625
Our contract didn't say nothing about getting
into wrestling matches with maniacs.
715
00:41:34,657 --> 00:41:36,192
Or bringing dead bodies into
spare bedrooms.
716
00:41:36,226 --> 00:41:37,728
Okay, I'll go next door to see
if...
717
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,762
They're not here. They're in
Gstaad, skiing.
718
00:41:39,795 --> 00:41:41,798
They left a ski town to go
skiing?
719
00:41:42,766 --> 00:41:44,434
Course they did.
720
00:41:44,467 --> 00:41:47,603
Well dear most everyone leaves for the
holidays. That's why I like to come up here.
721
00:41:47,637 --> 00:41:49,205
Alright, what about the
Pelligrinos?
722
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,842
Oh that horrible woman-and her husband?
I don't want them knowing my business.
723
00:41:52,876 --> 00:41:54,711
Can't someone just go to the
police?
724
00:41:54,744 --> 00:41:57,247
Mom look, your neighbors are
going to find out what happened!
725
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,617
I'm sorry, I agree with your
mom.
726
00:41:59,916 --> 00:42:00,583
Excuse me?
727
00:42:00,617 --> 00:42:03,152
Uh, oh. Trouble in paradise.
728
00:42:03,186 --> 00:42:06,056
There's already too many witness, We
don't want to let any outsider into this.
729
00:42:06,088 --> 00:42:07,824
Right now, we can control this
story.
730
00:42:07,856 --> 00:42:09,092
What are you talking about?
731
00:42:09,125 --> 00:42:10,726
I'm just saying, that depending
on how you deal with all this...
732
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,164
Your family could be in some very big
trouble with your Dad's Board of Directors.
733
00:42:14,197 --> 00:42:16,133
If you have any interest
controlling the family business.
734
00:42:16,166 --> 00:42:19,068
Ladies and Gentlemen... the
heart of a lawyer.
735
00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:20,569
You're not Dad's attorney.
736
00:42:20,603 --> 00:42:24,107
No, but he's going to need one and
one with a lot of perspective here.
737
00:42:25,108 --> 00:42:26,143
Is it hot in here?
738
00:42:27,677 --> 00:42:29,880
O-kay.
739
00:42:31,981 --> 00:42:32,949
We'll drive into town.
740
00:42:32,983 --> 00:42:34,151
Who was the last to get here?
741
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:35,686
Dad... Leonard... Shit he's...
742
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:36,619
Your father!...
743
00:42:36,652 --> 00:42:37,987
Blocking everyone in!
744
00:42:38,021 --> 00:42:39,723
Maybe someone could cut around
him?
745
00:42:39,755 --> 00:42:41,023
Well, I'm the next one in so...
746
00:42:41,056 --> 00:42:43,025
Oh no sir, you're not going
anywhere.
747
00:42:43,059 --> 00:42:46,764
You'd just drive off and tell the police we killed
Carter and tied you father up, you little bitch.
748
00:42:48,898 --> 00:42:52,169
Okay Carol, nobody said that Penny
should go. I'm sorry sis, but
749
00:42:52,202 --> 00:42:54,605
Alright, who wants to try
cutting around Dad's car?
750
00:42:54,637 --> 00:42:58,942
I'll go, My van's in the...
uh... where my car keys?
751
00:42:58,974 --> 00:43:00,143
I don't have my keys, either.
752
00:43:00,175 --> 00:43:01,344
My keys aren't in my purse.
753
00:43:01,378 --> 00:43:02,846
Well, I always keep mine on
the...
754
00:43:03,378 --> 00:43:05,648
Alright, who took my keys!?
755
00:43:09,052 --> 00:43:09,920
Penny?
756
00:43:10,786 --> 00:43:11,922
What about your keys?
757
00:43:12,422 --> 00:43:17,161
Oh, um, in my pockets... pocket.
758
00:43:17,527 --> 00:43:19,128
They're probably in there.
759
00:43:19,628 --> 00:43:22,199
I don't think I'm gonna find
them in there, am I?
760
00:43:22,431 --> 00:43:24,667
Something tells me you know
where all of our keys are.
761
00:43:24,701 --> 00:43:28,771
Oh my God, I remember this.
She's done this shit before!
762
00:43:28,804 --> 00:43:29,639
When we were kids.
763
00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:32,074
It was... a holiday...?
764
00:43:32,108 --> 00:43:33,076
Your grandfather's funeral.
765
00:43:33,108 --> 00:43:36,112
That's it! She was like twelve
and she threw...
766
00:43:36,146 --> 00:43:38,248
All of our winter coats down the
incinerator!
767
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,083
My "HER MEEZ" took a twenty
floor drop.
768
00:43:40,115 --> 00:43:40,583
"Hermes."
769
00:43:41,117 --> 00:43:44,688
All because she didn't want
anyone to leave!
770
00:43:44,721 --> 00:43:48,291
All because Grandpa was the only
person in this family that loved me!
771
00:43:48,958 --> 00:43:51,694
And everyone was telling stories
about him, and
772
00:43:53,096 --> 00:43:54,298
I didn't want it to end.
773
00:43:58,702 --> 00:44:01,271
Wahh! Wahh! Wahh!
774
00:44:07,443 --> 00:44:09,413
I took your fucking keys.
775
00:44:09,445 --> 00:44:10,246
Why?
776
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,349
Fuck Why! Where? Where are
they?!
777
00:44:15,085 --> 00:44:16,320
In the Care Bear.
778
00:44:17,454 --> 00:44:20,791
In the back... bedroom.
779
00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:27,664
With those lunatics?
780
00:44:27,697 --> 00:44:29,331
Oh, fuck them keys, I ain't
goin' in there!
781
00:44:29,364 --> 00:44:32,101
Well, does anybody know hot to
do...
782
00:44:32,135 --> 00:44:35,138
You know, that thing to get a car
going if you don't have the keys
783
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:36,138
Hot-wire it?
784
00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:38,007
Yeah, does anybody know hot to
hot-wire a car?
785
00:44:41,510 --> 00:44:44,748
Are you fucking kidding me?!
I don't know shit about hot-wiring a car!
786
00:44:44,780 --> 00:44:45,949
You said you were a rapper.
787
00:44:45,981 --> 00:44:48,150
What's... What does that have to
do with hot-wiring a car?
788
00:44:48,184 --> 00:44:49,853
Well, you said you were from
Detroit.
789
00:44:49,885 --> 00:44:51,987
Man, that's some black on black
crime there!
790
00:44:52,021 --> 00:44:58,128
Detroit? No he's from Greenwich, Connecticut. And he was
a Fulbright scholar with a 3.8 grade point average.
791
00:44:58,161 --> 00:44:59,863
Would you stop? You're killing'
my street cred.
792
00:44:59,896 --> 00:45:01,432
How do you know so much about
the caterer?
793
00:45:02,998 --> 00:45:06,069
He's... my... roommate.
794
00:45:06,936 --> 00:45:10,005
I thought the Swedish girl was
your roommate.
795
00:45:10,039 --> 00:45:12,342
I am, but I'm not the one he's
fucking.
796
00:45:13,976 --> 00:45:19,248
Oh, come on, what's wrong with that?
Every growing boy needs some black dick.
797
00:45:21,483 --> 00:45:25,822
Oh! Is it hot in here?
798
00:45:26,824 --> 00:45:32,496
Kyle, please tell me that what this
disgusting person said is not true.
799
00:45:34,797 --> 00:45:35,431
Mom...
800
00:45:35,465 --> 00:45:37,366
Ma-ma-ma, don't ma-ma-ma me!
801
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:37,934
But Mom...
802
00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:40,103
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa what?
803
00:45:40,135 --> 00:45:42,471
Why should I be surprised by
anything my children do!
804
00:45:42,505 --> 00:45:45,474
All of my children are a disappointment
to me, you always have been!
805
00:45:45,507 --> 00:45:47,910
Why not one more thing for me to
be embarrassed about!
806
00:45:47,943 --> 00:45:49,579
Just listen to...
807
00:45:49,612 --> 00:45:54,817
No! I just want to know the truth! Are
you a... homosexual with this... person?!
808
00:45:59,956 --> 00:46:01,091
Yes!
809
00:46:02,891 --> 00:46:08,864
Yes I am fucking this beautiful
black man!
810
00:46:10,099 --> 00:46:14,070
Because I am gay! And I love
black cock! I just love it!
811
00:46:14,103 --> 00:46:16,572
Can't get enough of it!...
812
00:46:16,606 --> 00:46:19,843
You racist,
homophobic whore!
813
00:46:19,876 --> 00:46:20,577
Kyle! DO NOT...
814
00:46:21,043 --> 00:46:26,549
No, no no... You finish one more
sentence for me and I
815
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:30,820
Swear to God I will punch you so hard in
your uterus, you won't be able to foist
816
00:46:30,853 --> 00:46:33,289
Any more of its evil into this
God forsaken world!
817
00:46:33,322 --> 00:46:34,557
Oh, your mother can't...
818
00:46:34,590 --> 00:46:39,429
And you can just zip it Carol! I
know my Mom's past menopause and
819
00:46:39,461 --> 00:46:45,367
And she can't have kids! I was just making a point!
And God! Why is it so fucking hot in here!!
820
00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:49,906
Okay, it's okay.
821
00:46:49,938 --> 00:46:51,440
Jeee-zus
822
00:46:53,208 --> 00:46:57,880
I am not a homophobic. I'm the
most liberal person I know
823
00:46:58,614 --> 00:47:02,285
Am I the only one who thinks,
isn't it enough with the fags already?
824
00:47:03,652 --> 00:47:04,954
Um, hum.
825
00:47:05,487 --> 00:47:08,123
Is anybody else finding it
unbearably hot in here?
826
00:47:08,157 --> 00:47:12,195
This is all well and good and all, but we have
a dead man and two maniacs in the back bedroom
827
00:47:12,228 --> 00:47:14,264
With our car keys. What we gonna
do?
828
00:47:14,297 --> 00:47:17,400
I say we get the keys out of the back
bedroom and we get the hell out of here.
829
00:47:18,768 --> 00:47:23,206
Aghhhhh! Get off my
ass, you son of a bitch!
830
00:47:29,244 --> 00:47:31,248
Uhhhhh!
831
00:47:39,389 --> 00:47:40,157
Daddy?
832
00:47:48,664 --> 00:47:53,603
Is that my Rainy Day
girl I hear?
833
00:47:53,635 --> 00:47:59,375
Rainy Girl, why don't you let
your daddy out of this room?
834
00:47:59,409 --> 00:48:01,612
I'm really burning up here.
835
00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:07,451
I just want to get you some help, Daddy.
I just need the keys to your car.
836
00:48:07,751 --> 00:48:10,420
You want to go for a
drive, sweetheart?
837
00:48:11,086 --> 00:48:12,454
Yeah, Dad.
838
00:48:12,489 --> 00:48:14,691
Wait you're not gonna
leave your daddy behind, now are you?
839
00:48:14,724 --> 00:48:16,927
No Daddy.
840
00:48:17,260 --> 00:48:18,595
I just want to get you some
help.
841
00:48:18,628 --> 00:48:22,532
That's good, 'cause I
really hurt myself getting untied.
842
00:48:23,164 --> 00:48:28,471
I mean I'm bleeding... a lot.
It was your mother's idea wasn't it?
843
00:48:28,503 --> 00:48:32,509
I'm gonna tear her open from
cooter to her tooter, Rainy Girl.
844
00:48:32,541 --> 00:48:35,077
This is out of control. This
is... Go. We're going.
845
00:48:35,110 --> 00:48:39,181
Where ya going, lover man?
You planning on taking my sister somewhere?
846
00:48:39,215 --> 00:48:40,682
There's something wrong with you
and Dad.
847
00:48:40,717 --> 00:48:43,720
There's nothing wrong with
me, little Sis, I'm just burning up
848
00:48:43,753 --> 00:48:46,523
It feels like my insides are
melting that's all...
849
00:48:46,755 --> 00:48:49,625
Hell, its nothing your
sweet ass can't make better.
850
00:48:49,659 --> 00:48:53,063
Shut
your filthy mouth, God damnit!
851
00:48:57,199 --> 00:49:02,571
Now listen Rainy, just open the door
and let us out so we can go outside.
852
00:49:02,605 --> 00:49:05,541
Yeah, we just really need
to get into the cold night air.
853
00:49:10,579 --> 00:49:14,183
Mr. Pope, Ty Webb here.
854
00:49:14,717 --> 00:49:18,255
I'm gonna make sure that I can
get you the help that... you need
855
00:49:18,621 --> 00:49:20,990
That includes a vigorous defense
which I know I can...
856
00:49:21,023 --> 00:49:27,730
You still there, lover man? Now you hear
this and you hear this good, you get away from my sister or I
857
00:49:27,764 --> 00:49:31,735
I promise you that I'm gonna rip your
fucking head off and SKULL fuck it!
858
00:49:31,768 --> 00:49:34,036
Ok, there's something wrong with
you people.
859
00:49:34,670 --> 00:49:35,372
Well?
860
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:43,547
Daddy? Please let me help you.
861
00:49:46,648 --> 00:49:51,020
Just slide the key to your car
under the door, Ok?
862
00:49:51,353 --> 00:49:51,788
Okay.
863
00:49:51,820 --> 00:49:52,454
Ok
864
00:49:52,489 --> 00:49:53,789
Okay, Rainy Girl.
865
00:49:53,822 --> 00:49:54,490
Okay.
866
00:49:54,523 --> 00:49:56,259
I'll give it to you.
867
00:50:04,766 --> 00:50:05,902
Oh my God!
868
00:50:06,402 --> 00:50:10,773
I told you I hurt myself!
Now let me outta here you fucking bitch!
869
00:50:10,806 --> 00:50:12,541
Come on, it's over. Come on,
come on, come on...
870
00:50:12,574 --> 00:50:14,510
Come on. Go! Go!
871
00:50:14,543 --> 00:50:15,711
Pop!
872
00:50:15,744 --> 00:50:17,112
That'll work.
873
00:50:30,358 --> 00:50:36,231
Oh fuck! They're outside. And
look...
874
00:50:36,264 --> 00:50:39,402
Aww. What happend for Funshyne?
875
00:50:39,735 --> 00:50:41,670
So you think they used... Jesus!
876
00:50:42,137 --> 00:50:46,143
Break out the window. You see
any keys out there?
877
00:50:47,643 --> 00:50:48,711
Not a one.
878
00:51:00,155 --> 00:51:02,425
We need to go the the neighbors!
Right now!
879
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:05,695
Told you I don't want that woman
knowing my business!
880
00:51:05,728 --> 00:51:07,563
You don't have a choice. Who's
coming with me?
881
00:51:08,030 --> 00:51:09,565
I just want to get the hell
outta here.
882
00:51:09,599 --> 00:51:13,470
My Dad and Jackson just
broke out of the bedroom and are outside.
883
00:51:13,503 --> 00:51:14,604
Yeah, I'm gonna wait here
awhile.
884
00:51:14,637 --> 00:51:17,507
Look guys, I can probably handle
my Dad if I have to...
885
00:51:17,739 --> 00:51:21,210
Well sure, Daddy wouldn't want
to hurt his little Rainy Girl.
886
00:51:21,777 --> 00:51:24,480
I don't know if I can handle him
and Jackson.
887
00:51:28,483 --> 00:51:32,755
Fuck it! I'll go. The only thing
he's gonna hit me with is his cock.
888
00:51:33,456 --> 00:51:36,326
We'll I'm not going to let the
two of you go alone.
889
00:51:36,358 --> 00:51:37,427
Thanks. Yeah.
890
00:51:38,094 --> 00:51:41,331
I'll go straight there, make the call and
come back as soon as the cops arrive, okay?
891
00:51:41,364 --> 00:51:42,764
Okay. Hey sis...
892
00:51:42,797 --> 00:51:43,331
Yeah?
893
00:51:43,364 --> 00:51:45,267
Thanks for doing this.
894
00:51:47,436 --> 00:51:50,240
Yea. Keep an eye on Mom, ok.
She's starting to lose her shit.
895
00:51:50,273 --> 00:51:53,242
Love you. Be safe.
896
00:52:39,855 --> 00:52:40,822
Is that...
897
00:52:40,856 --> 00:52:42,759
They're not home.
898
00:52:44,626 --> 00:52:45,762
- So we'll break in then.
- Okay.
899
00:53:23,666 --> 00:53:25,335
Get behind that tree
900
00:53:38,447 --> 00:53:40,951
Go! Go!
901
00:54:07,909 --> 00:54:08,610
I don't see 'em.
902
00:54:09,579 --> 00:54:12,582
Chef! Stay away from the window before
one of those crazy mutherfuckers see you
903
00:54:12,614 --> 00:54:13,582
They gonna know...
904
00:54:13,615 --> 00:54:15,518
Alright... I gotta get the fuck
outta here...
905
00:54:15,552 --> 00:54:20,923
I'm not waiting' for them to come back. I mean,
April's never finished a damn thing in her life and
906
00:54:20,956 --> 00:54:25,561
What, I'm gonna count on Johnny
Haircut and whore?
907
00:54:25,594 --> 00:54:27,563
Uhhhh, no!
908
00:54:27,596 --> 00:54:33,036
So who wants to make a thousand bucks to find one of
those car keys and drive me the Hell out of here?
909
00:54:33,302 --> 00:54:38,374
Ma'am, all due respect, you outta your
fuckin' mind if you think any of us...
910
00:54:38,407 --> 00:54:39,042
Ten thousand
911
00:54:39,074 --> 00:54:39,841
I'll do that!
912
00:54:39,875 --> 00:54:40,809
Time to go!
913
00:54:40,842 --> 00:54:41,510
What?!
914
00:54:41,543 --> 00:54:42,577
Babe, that's a lot of money!
915
00:54:42,612 --> 00:54:43,980
Plus there's only two of those
lunatics out there
916
00:54:44,012 --> 00:54:47,016
and the other one's already went
out, so they'll be luring em away.
917
00:54:47,048 --> 00:54:48,083
They'll be the one's getting
attacked!
918
00:54:48,117 --> 00:54:49,419
You mean my sister!?
919
00:54:49,452 --> 00:54:52,989
Yeah! Sorry. She'll be oaky.
920
00:54:53,021 --> 00:54:56,025
Babe, ten grand is enough to
produce my record.
921
00:54:56,057 --> 00:54:59,494
Yeah, but who gonna
rap on it when you dead, fool!?
922
00:54:59,527 --> 00:55:00,730
That's cold, baby...
923
00:55:00,762 --> 00:55:01,730
That's cold.
924
00:55:01,764 --> 00:55:03,599
Only one of you's gonna get that
money, honey.
925
00:55:03,632 --> 00:55:04,300
Gotta go!
926
00:55:06,668 --> 00:55:08,371
Babe, babe, babe... Just Wait...
927
00:55:13,409 --> 00:55:15,811
You're a vulgar pig.
928
00:55:16,512 --> 00:55:18,347
Oh, this is going to be good.
929
00:55:18,380 --> 00:55:20,048
Excuuuuuuse me?
930
00:55:20,081 --> 00:55:23,685
Solve any problem by throwing
your Jew husband's money around.
931
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:28,624
Hey! He's one of the good ones!
Not like one of those New York Jews
932
00:55:28,657 --> 00:55:31,728
What does it matter to you? Any
Jew'll do!
933
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:37,766
You're like a magic fountain. You just spread
your legs and the chosen money falls out!
934
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,670
Hey kettle! The pot called.
You're black!
935
00:55:40,702 --> 00:55:43,038
I have never fucked a black!
936
00:55:43,072 --> 00:55:44,740
No, you just fucked your son!
937
00:55:44,773 --> 00:55:50,712
Step-son! And at least I never slept with
any of my sister's kids! Oh, why is that?
938
00:55:50,746 --> 00:55:55,117
Oh yeah, that's right! Because your womb is a
rocky place where no seed can find purchase.
939
00:55:55,150 --> 00:55:57,519
You fucking bitch!
940
00:55:57,552 --> 00:55:58,721
Jealous whore!
941
00:55:58,753 --> 00:56:02,958
Let's get ready to rummmmmble!
942
00:56:08,731 --> 00:56:10,767
Fuck, it's fucking hot out here!
943
00:56:10,967 --> 00:56:12,769
Are you kidding? It's freezing!
944
00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:17,140
Have you noticed everyone that freaks out gets
really overheated right before they lose it?
945
00:56:17,639 --> 00:56:21,777
And everyone who's been complaining
about the heat drank your mother's punch.
946
00:56:21,811 --> 00:56:24,681
Ty, honey... How much of that
punch did you have to drink?
947
00:56:25,148 --> 00:56:26,949
I don't know, a few cups. Why?
948
00:56:26,983 --> 00:56:31,754
It might be tainted. My Dad and Jackson were
drinking it like water right before they lost it.
949
00:56:31,786 --> 00:56:33,889
Stop! What?!... That's great!
950
00:56:33,922 --> 00:56:35,858
What? Why?
951
00:56:35,891 --> 00:56:39,161
It's a better defense! If your dad was poisoned,
that means his actions weren't his responsibility.
952
00:56:39,195 --> 00:56:42,664
No, Ty, if that's true you could be
infected with whatever they have.
953
00:56:44,867 --> 00:56:46,035
Oh fuck
954
00:56:47,135 --> 00:56:48,471
Let's hope so
955
00:56:49,938 --> 00:56:52,141
If we can connect all these dots
956
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,744
the last eight months weren't
for nothing!
957
00:56:54,777 --> 00:56:56,079
What are you saying?
958
00:56:56,913 --> 00:57:01,918
I mean, I put in a lot of time here. Earlier this
evening it was looking like a pretty crappy investment.
959
00:57:02,217 --> 00:57:03,986
You're Dad's not your biggest
fan.
960
00:57:04,286 --> 00:57:07,723
This'd be a great way to get in
good with him though.
961
00:57:08,257 --> 00:57:11,728
Sounds like you're more interested in
April's father than you are in her.
962
00:57:12,628 --> 00:57:15,765
Well, no duh! Why do you think
I put a ring on it, you dum dum?
963
00:57:16,998 --> 00:57:17,899
Excuse me?
964
00:57:19,235 --> 00:57:24,207
Oh come on! You think I was just searching for some alcoholic
with more mommy & daddy issues than Lizzie Borden?
965
00:57:24,239 --> 00:57:29,846
No. Come on, you're rich.
Well, your family's rich.
966
00:57:29,878 --> 00:57:33,650
Now more than ever, your dad needs a brilliant
up and coming lawyer for a son-in-law.
967
00:57:34,817 --> 00:57:39,755
I'm his white knight, Bubbie.
Come on, let's get the cops out here
968
00:57:40,088 --> 00:57:44,594
and get your father on the road to exoneration.
Fuck! It's fucking hot out here.
969
00:57:54,235 --> 00:57:56,239
Come on sugar. Come on
970
00:58:04,746 --> 00:58:06,715
I haven't seen nothing out here.
971
00:58:07,182 --> 00:58:10,018
Shh. Quiet. Before one of those
crazy motherfuckers hear you.
972
00:58:10,052 --> 00:58:12,188
Ow! Bitch!
973
00:58:12,221 --> 00:58:15,958
Do I look like Kyle? That's right. Cause I'm not on
my knees sucking your dick. He's your bitch, not me!
974
00:58:15,990 --> 00:58:17,259
Where the fucking keys?
975
00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:19,695
Oh I wish you were this tenacious
when the rent has to be paid!
976
00:58:19,728 --> 00:58:21,630
Wish you were this tenacious
when the rent has to be paid.
977
00:58:24,934 --> 00:58:25,768
Bitch
978
00:58:26,135 --> 00:58:29,005
She ‘bout to get some shit!
979
00:58:37,146 --> 00:58:41,150
Yes! Oh yeah, rent's about to
get paid bitch!
980
00:58:41,983 --> 00:58:42,918
Come here.
981
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:45,887
Oh shit!
982
00:58:53,228 --> 00:58:59,135
Get. Off. My. Son.
You. Sonofa. Bitch.
983
00:59:02,605 --> 00:59:05,742
That's what you get when you
don't pay the rent on time
984
00:59:06,108 --> 00:59:07,043
Bitch.
985
00:59:09,677 --> 00:59:11,614
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Stop!
986
00:59:14,916 --> 00:59:17,652
Ahh oh no!
987
00:59:17,686 --> 00:59:18,653
Ah damn!
988
00:59:19,521 --> 00:59:23,626
You're so obsessed with me you
just can't wait to get my sloppy seconds!
989
00:59:23,826 --> 00:59:28,931
If you could've kept any of them satisfied
I wouldn't have to pinch hit for ya, sis!
990
00:59:28,963 --> 00:59:31,601
Aunt Carol, Mom! Stop this!
991
00:59:31,634 --> 00:59:32,302
Ahhhhh!
992
00:59:32,601 --> 00:59:35,672
Um guys. Someone want to untie
me please?
993
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:40,677
Ahh!
994
00:59:49,050 --> 00:59:51,152
Oh! Two crazy white bitches AND
a knife?
995
00:59:51,186 --> 00:59:53,789
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Ya
on your own.
996
00:59:54,922 --> 00:59:55,857
No, no, no
997
00:59:55,891 --> 00:59:58,628
I'm gonna slice
your tits off!
998
00:59:58,661 --> 01:00:01,297
Seriously this is how I die? Let
me go!
999
01:00:15,210 --> 01:00:17,278
Ok, Ok
1000
01:00:17,311 --> 01:00:20,115
Oh, for God's sakes! Who the hell could be knocking.
Oh my God do you have any idea what time it is!?
1001
01:00:20,148 --> 01:00:21,983
Do you have ANY idea what time
it is!?
1002
01:00:22,016 --> 01:00:23,384
I'm so sorry this is an
emergency!
1003
01:00:23,418 --> 01:00:26,388
Emergency? What kind of an emergency?
Aren't you one of the Popes?
1004
01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:28,891
Yeah, hi I'm April. We need your
help.
1005
01:00:28,923 --> 01:00:31,427
You sure do. Your mother is a
terrible person. Merry Christmas.
1006
01:00:31,460 --> 01:00:33,795
No, no, no. We just have to use
your phone to call the Police.
1007
01:00:33,829 --> 01:00:35,398
Police? What did she do now?
1008
01:00:35,431 --> 01:00:36,865
Denise! Who the
hell is it!?
1009
01:00:36,898 --> 01:00:37,866
It's the Pope kid.
1010
01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:38,934
Which one!?
1011
01:00:38,967 --> 01:00:41,704
Oh. Hey. How ya doin?
1012
01:00:41,737 --> 01:00:43,706
They need to use the phone to
call the Police.
1013
01:00:43,739 --> 01:00:44,706
What's the problem?
1014
01:00:44,739 --> 01:00:45,840
She's a Pope and they're a bunch
of liars!
1015
01:00:45,875 --> 01:00:47,742
For God's sakes Denise, get the
kid a phone already!
1016
01:00:47,775 --> 01:00:48,509
You get her a phone!
1017
01:00:48,543 --> 01:00:49,545
My phone's all the way upstairs!
1018
01:00:49,577 --> 01:00:51,880
Oh you're an idiot. I'll get the
cordless.
1019
01:00:51,914 --> 01:00:53,682
So how's it going? Is everybody
ok?
1020
01:00:53,715 --> 01:00:55,918
No, No. My Dad and my Brother
are sick.
1021
01:00:55,951 --> 01:00:56,985
So what do you need the Police
for?
1022
01:00:57,018 --> 01:00:57,986
Because he killed someone.
1023
01:00:58,019 --> 01:00:58,987
What!? Who killed someone?
1024
01:00:59,021 --> 01:01:01,190
Would you shut the fuck up, you
stupid whore!
1025
01:01:01,222 --> 01:01:02,425
Hey! What the hell is this!?
1026
01:01:02,458 --> 01:01:04,293
Denise. Don't come back out
here.
1027
01:01:04,326 --> 01:01:05,793
What the hell's the matter with
you pal!?
1028
01:01:05,827 --> 01:01:07,762
With me? There's nothing wrong with me.
It's just fucking hot out.
1029
01:01:07,795 --> 01:01:09,397
It's a million fucking degrees
out here!
1030
01:01:09,431 --> 01:01:10,666
He's on drugs!
1031
01:01:10,699 --> 01:01:12,166
Alright, you people need to get
the hell out of here right now.
1032
01:01:12,201 --> 01:01:14,436
Please we just have to use your phone.
They could be out here right now.
1033
01:01:14,469 --> 01:01:15,570
Who could be out here?
1034
01:01:15,605 --> 01:01:17,807
What the hell are you doing!? I
told you to stay inside!
1035
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:21,177
There's a very important man's business at stake right
now so I'm coming into your house to use your phone.
1036
01:01:21,610 --> 01:01:24,380
You're not coming in here.
You're not coming in here!
1037
01:01:25,481 --> 01:01:26,916
I need to use your phone
1038
01:01:29,251 --> 01:01:31,086
You know I'm really sorry it's
just
1039
01:01:31,119 --> 01:01:33,288
Get your fucking hands off of
me!
1040
01:01:33,322 --> 01:01:35,257
Hey, hey, hey I'm sorry. I'm
sorry.
1041
01:01:35,289 --> 01:01:37,058
Don't touch my sister.
1042
01:01:40,996 --> 01:01:42,432
Al-bert!
1043
01:01:49,371 --> 01:01:53,476
Hey man. Made you a promise,
didn't I?
1044
01:01:57,813 --> 01:01:58,881
Noooooo!
1045
01:02:19,168 --> 01:02:20,436
Salty.
1046
01:02:20,469 --> 01:02:21,971
Come on, come on.
1047
01:02:22,003 --> 01:02:23,306
Son Fucker!
1048
01:02:27,409 --> 01:02:31,047
Uhhh! You bitch!
1049
01:02:31,313 --> 01:02:34,250
Ahhh!
1050
01:02:46,128 --> 01:02:47,930
Ma, ma, ma, my mom!
1051
01:02:53,302 --> 01:02:55,004
Die you bitch!
1052
01:02:58,340 --> 01:02:59,342
Ohhhh!
1053
01:03:04,579 --> 01:03:06,516
Ughhhhhh
1054
01:03:09,483 --> 01:03:12,320
That fucking hurts Goddammit.
1055
01:03:17,925 --> 01:03:18,894
Cuuunt
1056
01:03:29,003 --> 01:03:31,072
Is it hot in here or is it me?
1057
01:03:38,413 --> 01:03:40,016
Mom, mom?
1058
01:03:43,351 --> 01:03:45,054
Ahhh, hey.
1059
01:03:47,521 --> 01:03:50,391
I know you've been through a lot
tonight but if you wouldn't mind.
1060
01:03:50,425 --> 01:03:55,597
I'd rather not spend the rest of the
Winter tied to THIS FUCKING CHAIR!
1061
01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:03,239
Willy, willy! God damn you dumb mother
fucker I'm trying to help your simple
1062
01:04:04,940 --> 01:04:06,008
Is that my van?
1063
01:04:16,184 --> 01:04:23,226
I told you nobody drives my van
but me. You son of a bitch.
1064
01:04:28,096 --> 01:04:29,197
What are you doing?
1065
01:04:29,231 --> 01:04:32,401
Listening to the last song Willy
recorded before he died.
1066
01:04:32,434 --> 01:04:34,103
Died? When did Willy
1067
01:04:48,182 --> 01:04:51,987
The help never says when dinner
is served.
1068
01:04:52,755 --> 01:04:56,525
That was my friend. You are not
my friend.
1069
01:05:15,643 --> 01:05:21,082
Come on! Ok
come on! Oh my God!
1070
01:05:40,268 --> 01:05:41,269
Are you ok?
1071
01:05:41,302 --> 01:05:45,141
I don't know. I think something
snapped or tore.
1072
01:05:46,208 --> 01:05:49,211
Ahh. This fucking Shari
necklace.
1073
01:05:49,510 --> 01:05:52,581
Oh baby. Don't run away.
1074
01:05:53,581 --> 01:05:55,750
I just wanna fuck you to death!
1075
01:05:55,784 --> 01:05:56,518
Can you walk?
1076
01:05:57,619 --> 01:06:02,725
Oh. I am not gonna be that girl who tripped and
got killed by her boyfriend turned psycho.
1077
01:06:37,425 --> 01:06:39,661
Swear I saw car keys. Where are
the keys!?
1078
01:07:04,085 --> 01:07:13,128
Daddy. Dad.
1079
01:07:34,583 --> 01:07:37,286
I'm so hot inside! I can't
breathe.
1080
01:07:37,318 --> 01:07:40,556
It's just like my stomach is
boiling into my chest and
1081
01:07:46,393 --> 01:07:47,529
Oh that's better!
1082
01:08:07,916 --> 01:08:11,586
Please. Let me go.
1083
01:08:14,623 --> 01:08:18,594
Hey sis. I brought you a
present!
1084
01:08:22,163 --> 01:08:26,134
But I'm sorry. He's not gonna be
a virgin on your wedding night.
1085
01:08:26,167 --> 01:08:28,136
Please let go. Stop. Let go!
1086
01:08:29,470 --> 01:08:32,306
See I made a promise to your man
here.
1087
01:08:32,340 --> 01:08:35,310
And a promise-is a promise.
1088
01:08:44,252 --> 01:08:46,288
That's what you get!
1089
01:08:53,427 --> 01:08:55,597
What did I tell you?
1090
01:08:57,498 --> 01:09:01,869
No! Oh my God! Help us!
1091
01:09:03,037 --> 01:09:06,274
Think this is weird? It's not
gay if he's dead.
1092
01:09:06,774 --> 01:09:10,211
Shut your mouth. Haha!
1093
01:09:10,478 --> 01:09:12,881
Please open up! Help us! Please!
1094
01:09:12,913 --> 01:09:15,917
Open! Oh my God! Please!
1095
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:35,503
You hurt me real bad Penny.
1096
01:09:35,537 --> 01:09:37,640
Guess I'm gonna have to
skull-fuck you too.
1097
01:09:45,613 --> 01:09:46,915
Well you're welcome.
1098
01:09:49,850 --> 01:09:50,920
What did you do?
1099
01:09:51,185 --> 01:09:52,587
Just saved your ass.
1100
01:09:52,621 --> 01:09:54,890
What did you do?
1101
01:09:54,922 --> 01:09:55,623
Que
1102
01:09:55,823 --> 01:09:57,658
You killed the phones.
1103
01:09:57,692 --> 01:09:58,792
You hid the keys.
1104
01:09:58,827 --> 01:10:02,998
You did everything in your power
to hold us hostage. Why?
1105
01:10:03,030 --> 01:10:07,502
Is Rainy Day pissed someone took the
spotlight on her Secret Santa year?
1106
01:10:09,371 --> 01:10:11,806
What did you put in Mom's punch?
1107
01:10:13,942 --> 01:10:17,378
Kyle, go get me that bag she
won't let anyone near.
1108
01:10:17,979 --> 01:10:19,381
Fuck off.
1109
01:10:24,519 --> 01:10:26,588
This. This. What were these?
1110
01:10:27,988 --> 01:10:28,956
Go fuck yourself.
1111
01:10:28,989 --> 01:10:31,792
Oh Fuck. What are you, a dude?
1112
01:10:31,826 --> 01:10:35,863
I was until I had the popsicle
and bonbons removed two years ago.
1113
01:10:38,766 --> 01:10:41,403
What was in these bottles,
Penny!?
1114
01:10:43,003 --> 01:10:45,908
Kyle, go get me her punch.
1115
01:10:49,743 --> 01:10:52,880
If you didn't do anything, why
is your cup full?
1116
01:10:53,146 --> 01:10:59,988
If you didn't do anything, you won't have a problem
drinking it, would you? Drink it. Drink it.
1117
01:11:00,521 --> 01:11:02,457
This all happened because of
you.
1118
01:11:03,024 --> 01:11:06,327
Whatever you put in here
sentenced them all to death.
1119
01:11:06,761 --> 01:11:08,330
Mom is dead.
1120
01:11:08,363 --> 01:11:11,365
Ty is dead.
1121
01:11:11,399 --> 01:11:13,736
They're all fucking dead.
1122
01:11:18,506 --> 01:11:21,543
Again. You're welcome.
1123
01:11:25,113 --> 01:11:26,582
Dad is dead.
1124
01:11:31,453 --> 01:11:33,289
He wasn't supposed to be here.
1125
01:11:33,488 --> 01:11:35,923
He was supposed to stay in L.A.
1126
01:11:35,957 --> 01:11:38,527
I didn't intend for it to go
down like this.
1127
01:11:40,362 --> 01:11:43,666
I just thought everybody would
be honest for once.
1128
01:11:43,998 --> 01:11:46,702
And they'd be forced to look at
themselves.
1129
01:11:46,734 --> 01:11:50,438
What is it?
1130
01:11:51,405 --> 01:11:52,940
WHAT THE FUCK IS IT!?
1131
01:11:52,974 --> 01:11:55,077
New version of sodium pentothol.
1132
01:11:55,409 --> 01:11:56,344
It's a truth serum.
1133
01:11:56,377 --> 01:11:58,612
It's one of dad's defense
contracts.
1134
01:11:58,645 --> 01:12:02,884
Supposed to be crazy powerful
but it's just a truth serum.
1135
01:12:02,917 --> 01:12:05,987
The capsuls-I opened them up
and put them in the punch
1136
01:12:06,020 --> 01:12:09,458
And voila Everyone tells the
truth. Alright!?
1137
01:12:09,824 --> 01:12:11,626
Everyone tell's the truth.
1138
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:17,966
But I think it also makes people
lose impulse control and
1139
01:12:17,998 --> 01:12:22,670
They just start doing what they think
they should do, no matter how fucked up.
1140
01:12:22,703 --> 01:12:26,708
Yeah and then they boil from the
inside out and go to pieces.
1141
01:12:27,475 --> 01:12:28,744
Literally.
1142
01:12:28,777 --> 01:12:29,478
They do?
1143
01:12:29,511 --> 01:12:30,012
Yes.
1144
01:12:31,546 --> 01:12:33,548
Pretty sure that's what happened
to dad.
1145
01:12:35,048 --> 01:12:36,719
Why would you do
it?
1146
01:12:39,654 --> 01:12:42,691
I mean what the fuck is wrong
with you Penny?
1147
01:12:43,123 --> 01:12:49,530
I get that you have no fucking
self control, but why?
1148
01:12:50,198 --> 01:12:52,467
Why hurt your whole family?
1149
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:54,136
My family!? What family!?
1150
01:12:54,168 --> 01:12:56,971
I didn't choose you. You sure as
shit didn't choose me.
1151
01:12:57,005 --> 01:13:01,743
If I weren't related to you, none of you
would piss on me if I were on fucking fire.
1152
01:13:01,775 --> 01:13:07,014
But because we all exploded out of the same volcanic
hole, we're supposed to have this bond for life?
1153
01:13:07,347 --> 01:13:08,916
It's bullshit!
1154
01:13:08,949 --> 01:13:15,923
When this family loses control of it's
ID, we choose to fucking kill each other.
1155
01:13:16,690 --> 01:13:19,094
It's because we fucking hate
each other.
1156
01:13:19,127 --> 01:13:20,996
That's not true.
1157
01:13:22,764 --> 01:13:23,931
I love you.
1158
01:13:25,632 --> 01:13:26,967
And I love April.
1159
01:13:27,001 --> 01:13:30,204
And I loved Mom and I love Dad
1160
01:13:30,238 --> 01:13:31,640
Didn't you drink that shit?
1161
01:13:31,672 --> 01:13:33,975
Yes, you stupid bitch.
1162
01:13:35,176 --> 01:13:37,112
So you're telling the truth?
1163
01:13:39,247 --> 01:13:41,115
Must be!
1164
01:13:43,585 --> 01:13:45,520
You still love all of us?
1165
01:13:48,856 --> 01:13:55,197
I mean, Jacksons kind of an
asshole... but I still love him.
1166
01:13:56,597 --> 01:13:57,932
Love you too bro.
1167
01:13:59,634 --> 01:14:00,469
It's funny.
1168
01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:02,738
Only makes me want to kill you
more.
1169
01:14:08,909 --> 01:14:10,077
Nice girl!
1170
01:14:20,822 --> 01:14:22,958
Hahahaha!
1171
01:14:24,958 --> 01:14:26,127
Ahhhh!
1172
01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:46,215
You get as good as you give.
That makes me hard!
1173
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:50,218
She used to have a dick you
idiot!
1174
01:14:50,251 --> 01:14:53,021
That just makes me harder!
1175
01:14:53,054 --> 01:14:54,890
Oh come on!
1176
01:15:01,261 --> 01:15:11,005
Get the fuck off of ME!
1177
01:15:11,038 --> 01:15:12,875
,
1178
01:15:20,113 --> 01:15:23,018
Wow you guys really acted like a
family.
1179
01:15:25,319 --> 01:15:27,322
Maybe there's hope for the world
yet.
1180
01:15:27,354 --> 01:15:28,088
Jacqueline!
1181
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:36,131
Don't you touch my sweet baby
boy you freak!
1182
01:15:43,037 --> 01:15:44,006
Die!
1183
01:15:46,373 --> 01:15:48,210
Why
1184
01:15:48,475 --> 01:15:53,114
Cant you at least do something
with your hair?
1185
01:15:57,685 --> 01:15:59,888
You're like some mythical beast!
1186
01:16:00,154 --> 01:16:04,927
You started all of this. It all
comes from you!
1187
01:16:06,226 --> 01:16:13,068
Well tonight I'm gonna slay the
God damn Hydra!
1188
01:16:13,967 --> 01:16:15,136
Stop!
1189
01:16:18,739 --> 01:16:19,707
Stop!
1190
01:16:36,356 --> 01:16:45,265
Mommy?
1191
01:16:45,298 --> 01:16:48,203
Maaaa!
1192
01:16:48,235 --> 01:16:55,143
Oh. Ah. Ahhhhhhhhh!
1193
01:16:55,176 --> 01:16:56,745
You didn't have to kill her!
1194
01:16:56,778 --> 01:16:57,746
She was alive!!
1195
01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:14,196
Penny?
1196
01:20:20,347 --> 01:20:22,384
Ahhhh!
1197
01:20:27,988 --> 01:20:30,257
Penny stop. Stop this please.
1198
01:20:30,291 --> 01:20:32,327
Stop it doesn't have to be like
this.
1199
01:20:33,094 --> 01:20:35,529
You can't save me!
1200
01:20:37,899 --> 01:20:39,601
Stop it. Please let me
1201
01:20:44,005 --> 01:20:45,841
Save yourself bitch.
1202
01:20:52,380 --> 01:20:54,615
Penny look at me. I love you.
1203
01:20:58,286 --> 01:21:02,256
Penny I do. I do.
1204
01:21:04,057 --> 01:21:06,327
Tear your lying tongue out.
1205
01:21:06,359 --> 01:21:07,962
Ahhhh!
1206
01:21:37,291 --> 01:21:38,360
Noooo!
1207
01:21:50,337 --> 01:21:55,009
Merry. Fucking. Christmas.
1208
01:22:25,271 --> 01:22:26,573
Yeah get some.
1209
01:22:26,606 --> 01:22:27,707
Get some what?
1210
01:22:27,742 --> 01:22:30,378
My, that's terrible. Did you
just hit that woman?
1211
01:22:30,411 --> 01:22:32,046
Well yeah that's how you score
points.
1212
01:22:32,078 --> 01:22:34,215
Sarah, why do you let him play
this?
1213
01:22:34,247 --> 01:22:37,684
Mom, the phone is his Christmas
present. Let him enjoy it.
1214
01:22:37,717 --> 01:22:41,055
I don't know. The way mothers
raise kids these days.
1215
01:22:41,087 --> 01:22:44,224
I never let you have violent
things like this.
1216
01:22:44,257 --> 01:22:46,627
The movies, the video games.
It's all
1217
01:22:46,894 --> 01:22:49,697
No wonder the world's going to
H. E. double hockey sticks.
1218
01:22:49,729 --> 01:22:51,665
Didn't you see Clockwork Orange
when you were like eleven?
1219
01:22:51,698 --> 01:22:52,699
Oh that's just not true.
1220
01:22:52,733 --> 01:22:53,868
That was a good one.
1221
01:22:53,900 --> 01:22:55,403
We saw that when we first got
cable, didn't we David?
1222
01:22:55,435 --> 01:22:56,704
That was awesome dad.
1223
01:22:58,605 --> 01:23:01,108
Why do we have to come here
every year? It's so boring.
1224
01:23:01,141 --> 01:23:03,043
Because your grandmother loves
you
1225
01:23:03,077 --> 01:23:04,177
And I don't?
1226
01:23:04,211 --> 01:23:06,079
That's not what I was saying
Bev.
1227
01:23:06,113 --> 01:23:08,583
Dillon, Grandma Margret loves seeing you.
It makes her holiday.
1228
01:23:08,615 --> 01:23:10,451
Yeah but she smells like cat
pee.
1229
01:23:12,185 --> 01:23:14,287
That's not funny. That's my
mother.
1230
01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:15,189
I know
1231
01:23:15,689 --> 01:23:17,324
She does smell like it.
1232
01:23:17,358 --> 01:23:19,127
She really does Sarah.
1233
01:23:19,159 --> 01:23:21,395
Hey what do you say about us
when we're not here?
1234
01:23:21,429 --> 01:23:22,329
Dad. Look out!
1235
01:23:27,068 --> 01:23:29,637
What the hell is she doing in the
middle of the God damn street!?
1236
01:23:29,670 --> 01:23:30,704
David it's Christmas!
1237
01:23:30,738 --> 01:23:32,173
Look. Come on!
1238
01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:37,077
Something's wrong with her.
1239
01:23:49,422 --> 01:23:51,492
Hey? You ok?
1240
01:23:53,226 --> 01:23:55,363
Miss? You alright?
1241
01:23:55,996 --> 01:23:58,132
She told the truth.
1242
01:23:58,832 --> 01:24:01,668
Wait. It was a lie,
right?
1243
01:24:02,368 --> 01:24:04,505
No. It wasn't a
lie, right?
1244
01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:10,111
She said it.
But she did it because it was the truth.
1245
01:24:10,610 --> 01:24:12,680
Is she ok. Should I call the
Police?
1246
01:24:13,514 --> 01:24:16,484
Miss. I think you need some
help.
1247
01:24:16,783 --> 01:24:20,788
I got them to come and now
they're dead.
1248
01:24:23,490 --> 01:24:33,467
All of them. They just told the
truth and they kill each other.
1249
01:24:33,501 --> 01:24:34,368
Who's dead!?
1250
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:37,838
My. Whole. Family.
1251
01:24:41,141 --> 01:24:42,577
You tried to run me over.
1252
01:24:42,609 --> 01:24:44,778
No. You were in the middle of
the street, I just
1253
01:24:51,585 --> 01:24:53,688
You tried to kill me there
1254
01:24:53,921 --> 01:24:56,390
You Robert Redfordy piece of
shit.
1255
01:24:56,422 --> 01:24:57,524
Excuse me?
1256
01:24:57,557 --> 01:24:58,626
David don't get too close
1257
01:26:03,577 --> 01:26:08,577
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