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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,958 [serene tone] 2 00:00:04,791 --> 00:00:06,875 [bright music] 3 00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:10,208 - ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 4 00:00:10,291 --> 00:00:13,041 - [gasps] - Oh, my God! 5 00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:14,333 You know what? 6 00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,125 I'm actually so excited college is over. 7 00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:17,208 - Me too. - You know what I mean? 8 00:00:17,291 --> 00:00:18,500 I'm ready to enter, like, 9 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,375 an easier part of my life. - Yeah. 10 00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,708 - [squeals] - Uh, hi. 11 00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:23,041 We're picking up our drink tickets 12 00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:24,833 under Elliott Goss and Portia Davenport. 13 00:00:24,916 --> 00:00:26,250 - We graduated. [laughs] 14 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,750 We're graduates. - I'm not seeing your name. 15 00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,916 Elliott Goss, right? 16 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,625 - Okay, that's weird you don't have my name. 17 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,541 Um, School of Poli-Sci? 18 00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,125 - Yeah, no. - No. 19 00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,041 - You always have the weirdest luck with this stuff. 20 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,458 - You know what? Just give me the tickets. 21 00:00:39,541 --> 00:00:41,291 It doesn't matter anyway. - Portia! 22 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,791 - [gasps] - Hi! 23 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,666 We nabbed a table and got you guys beers. 24 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,166 - You guys! Oh, my God! 25 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:49,166 Oh, my God! - Guys, we graduated! 26 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,500 - [laughs] 27 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,875 - We're, like, officially adults now. 28 00:00:52,958 --> 00:00:54,791 - Don't say that, Drewski. I don't wanna be an adult. 29 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,625 I just wanna be, like, a baby in a womb. 30 00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,083 [laughter] - Oh, sorry. 31 00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:00,416 - Oh, it's okay. 32 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,041 - Yeah. - I have to admit. 33 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:05,416 Um, I'm weirdly feeling very hopeful. 34 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,916 - Hmm. - You are? 35 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,583 Make me feel like that. - Come on, look at us. 36 00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:11,166 I mean, Portia, you're such an amazing actress. 37 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,375 - Aww. - Stop! 38 00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:13,791 - It's so true. both: It's true. 39 00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:15,250 - When you walk on to the stage, like, 40 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,291 you just radiate this unique light. 41 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,791 - Aww. - And Elliott-- 42 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:21,000 - Don't. [laughter] 43 00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:25,000 - You're so smart, and you read people so well. 44 00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,916 You just understand them, you know? 45 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,000 There's no way that you're not gonna be influential. 46 00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,500 - Okay, Dory, I'm gonna cry. Stop it! 47 00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:34,333 - And Drew... - Yes? 48 00:01:34,416 --> 00:01:36,708 - You're just-- you're so sensitive 49 00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,458 but grounded, you know? 50 00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:39,958 I feel like people in the business world 51 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,833 are just gonna have to make way for you 52 00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:46,666 because you're gonna be the biggest-hearted human being 53 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,333 Wall Street has ever seen. 54 00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,333 - I love you. - I love you too. 55 00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:52,833 - Oh! - Cute! 56 00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:53,875 - I just wanna say that I think 57 00:01:53,958 --> 00:01:56,000 we're gonna do and make 58 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,208 really beautiful things, 59 00:01:58,291 --> 00:02:01,166 and have amazing lives, and you're my family. 60 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,500 - Aww! 61 00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:04,208 - To our family and to our amazing lives! 62 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,000 all: To our family and our amazing lives! 63 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,250 [all cheer] 64 00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:18,375 [Purity Ring's "Obedear"] 65 00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:25,208 ♪ ♪ 66 00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:29,875 - ♪ Oh, but dear, the sky is low, watch ♪ 67 00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:33,625 ♪ Fluent seamen rig their rudders so they'll... ♪ 68 00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,500 [bell dings] 69 00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,708 [lock clicks] 70 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,375 - Bon appétit, mademoiselle. 71 00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:44,708 I threw an extra nugget in today! 72 00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:47,083 It was the last one in the bag. 73 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,416 I mean, why not? [chuckles] 74 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,000 [ominous music] 75 00:02:59,083 --> 00:03:06,250 ♪ ♪ 76 00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,666 [bell ding] 77 00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:16,375 - [muffled screaming] Can anybody hear me? 78 00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:18,333 [screams] 79 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,541 Help! 80 00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:22,583 Help me! 81 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,083 Hello? 82 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,958 Can anybody hear me? 83 00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:28,583 [muffled screaming] Help me! 84 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,458 Can anybody hear me? 85 00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:33,583 [screaming] 86 00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:37,208 - ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ - [screams] 87 00:03:37,291 --> 00:03:41,250 - ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 88 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:44,958 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ - [whimpers] 89 00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:48,208 [children whooping] 90 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:52,916 - Yeah! Whoo! 91 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,958 [dramatic music playing] 92 00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:57,041 - [grunts] 93 00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,458 [laughs] - [groans] 94 00:03:58,541 --> 00:03:59,541 - [grunts] 95 00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:01,916 ♪ ♪ 96 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,833 [grunts] all: Oh! 97 00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:05,166 - Hey, hey, hey! - Ha-ha! 98 00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:07,541 Too slow this time, Prince Grisly! 99 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,791 I'll win the heart of the beautiful maiden yet. 100 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,416 Who could love an unsightly animal like you? 101 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,583 [laughs menacingly] - Ahh! 102 00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:15,833 - Ahh! 103 00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,750 - Get him, Prince Grisly! Yeah! 104 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,125 Get him! 105 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,958 - [grunting] - Ahh! 106 00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:25,500 - Damn it, Gustave. Falling is for amateurs. 107 00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:28,375 But you--you, man-- you were amazing! 108 00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:30,000 Best Prince Grisly we've ever had. 109 00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,416 You nailed it, bro! 110 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,791 - [panting] Thanks, man. 111 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,833 I love it! I love it so much! 112 00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:37,333 I mean, did you see those kids? 113 00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:39,791 They're just, like, laughing and smiling. 114 00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:43,833 I could do this for the rest of my goddamn life. 115 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 - Holy shit. Are you okay, Andrew? 116 00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:50,500 - Oh, yeah. 117 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,208 I'm just-- I'm hot from the hat. 118 00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:54,625 - But shouldn't you be used to heat, though? 119 00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,458 Didn't you say you're from South Africa? 120 00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,875 - Yes, I am. Yeah, I am from South Africa. 121 00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:01,291 - You know what's funny, dude? 122 00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:02,875 Sometimes I can hear the accent in you, 123 00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,416 but I really gotta stretch my ears for it, you know? 124 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,166 [urinal flushes] - Yeah, yeah. 125 00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,583 Actually, a lot of people say that. 126 00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:10,000 It's, uh-- 127 00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,375 it's because my parents were American diplomats, 128 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,000 so I just sort of inherited their accent. 129 00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,875 - That's kind of cool, though. [grunts] 130 00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,083 It makes you cut from 131 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,000 a different kind of cloth, you know? 132 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:24,041 - Nah. I'm one of y'all. 133 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:26,250 I belong here. 134 00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:28,375 - Why did you do this to me? 135 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,458 We were friends. 136 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,375 We're friend-- we're your friends. 137 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:35,083 Ugh. Friends! 138 00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:36,416 [softly] Why did you do this to me? 139 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,041 We were friends! Friends! 140 00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:41,916 We were friends. 141 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,750 We were friends. We were friends. 142 00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:49,083 Friends. We were friends. 143 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,916 - Name? 144 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,125 - Hi. Uh, Portia Davenport. 145 00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,791 - Yes, everyone's reading for Portia Davenport, 146 00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:57,541 but what's your real name? 147 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:02,416 - No, I am the real Portia Davenport. 148 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,916 [all gasp] 149 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,708 - Oh, maybe I am missing one. 150 00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,208 No, I don't have one. 151 00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:09,041 - Hi. - Oh, gosh, hi! 152 00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:11,166 - Hi there. - Portia Davenport. 153 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,875 Such a pleasure. Hi, Roger Carrots. 154 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,458 - Hi, Mr. Carrots, so nice to meet you. 155 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,791 - Greg Carrots--big fan. - Hi. 156 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,041 - Yeah. - Thank you. 157 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,375 I'm so sorry, you guys, for just, 158 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,666 like, barging in on you 159 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,208 like this, completely unannounced. 160 00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:23,250 I just needed to talk to you 161 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,291 because it was brought to my attention 162 00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:27,750 that you are using my name and my likeness 163 00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:31,541 in your film, "Savage: The Dory Sief Story." 164 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,250 - Portia, before we get too far into that--actually, 165 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,791 this is perfect timing. - [clears throat] 166 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,333 - Uh, Portia this is our lawyer, Hugh Sneezer. 167 00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:40,708 - Hi, Mr. Sneezer, so nice to-- - Hello, Ms. Davenport. 168 00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,291 Put your hand away. 169 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,125 Let me just get straight to the point. 170 00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:46,916 As a public figure in a very public trial, 171 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,583 you have hardly any ground to fight us on our right 172 00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:52,208 to portray you in any light that we favor. 173 00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:54,291 And with all due respect, 174 00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:56,791 if you're interested in pursuing legal action, 175 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,833 I guarantee you it will be 176 00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:01,833 an enormous waste of time and money. 177 00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:04,000 Do we have an understanding? 178 00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,916 - I was actually just hoping I could audition. 179 00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,625 - Oh, audition. - Yeah. 180 00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:12,666 I just really think I could nail this part. 181 00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,125 It would be such an honor 182 00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:16,333 if I could prove myself to you as Portia. 183 00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,916 - Well, this has been an incredible waste of my time. 184 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,916 I'll see you both in court. - All right, bye. 185 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,333 See you, Hugh. - Bye, Hugh. 186 00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,791 - Bye, Hugh. - Wow. 187 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,583 I mean, what makes you wanna play yourself? 188 00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:29,041 - I think it would actually be very healing. 189 00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,000 I could kind of get some closure, you know, 190 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:33,500 really own it, take my power back. 191 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,791 You know what I mean? 192 00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,416 I think there's a lot of dignity in that. 193 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:37,666 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 194 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,041 I mean, that's interesting. 195 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,708 - Mm-hmm. - That's very interesting. 196 00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:41,875 - Mm-hmm. 197 00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:42,958 - Um, of course, 198 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:44,458 you would not have to audition. 199 00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:46,083 - Oh, okay. - No, we would have 200 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,041 to just talk amongst ourselves. - Sure, yeah. 201 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,041 - And then of course with the network, Streamer. 202 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,375 - Okay, well, thank you guys... - Great! 203 00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:53,916 - So much for your time. - Thank you. 204 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,583 - Yes. - Great energy in this room, 205 00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:57,083 by the way. - And you too--thank you. 206 00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,375 - Thank you so much for coming in. 207 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,125 - Bye! - There she goes. [laughs] 208 00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,541 [roars] 209 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,000 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. 210 00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:16,708 Our planet is literally a ticking time bomb, 211 00:08:16,791 --> 00:08:18,083 but the Republican Party 212 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:20,583 is too busy demonizing the disenfranchised 213 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:23,583 to even pretend to care. - Okay, I don't even know 214 00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,000 what I'm looking at. - What? 215 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,125 - What even was that a video of? 216 00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:27,208 - Charlie, that was a video 217 00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:28,750 of one of the world's last 218 00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,375 prime glaciers eroding. 219 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:31,791 - No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was. 220 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,958 - Our graphics department made that, sloppily. 221 00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:35,458 That was the worst video of mayonnaise 222 00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:37,583 being poured onto a plate I have ever seen. 223 00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:38,625 [laughs] 224 00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,083 And the gullibility of the left 225 00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:41,500 is out of control. - Oh! 226 00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:44,416 Okay, Charlie, a very famous scientist, 227 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,625 Eiricke Ludwig Hoggerman, took that video yesterday. 228 00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,000 Honestly, girl, just read a book... 229 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:50,208 - Okay, yeah. - Once in your life. 230 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,708 - Hi. I know who Eiricke is. 231 00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:53,750 He's a liar, just like you. - Oh, Charlie, 232 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,458 I'm actually really glad you called me a liar 233 00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:56,875 because you're the biggest liar out there. 234 00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,375 Your hair's a lie. - No, it's not. 235 00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,500 - Your teeth are a lie. - No, it's not. 236 00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:00,958 - Your ass is a lie. 237 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,250 - No, it's not. - It's all lie, lie, lie, lie, 238 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,458 lie, lie, lie, lie, lie! 239 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,625 - No, it's not. - Oh, really? 240 00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:05,958 You sure about that? Okay. 241 00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,291 Because I've actually found some 242 00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,666 very interesting pictures of you 243 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,416 from 2014 that I'm sure 244 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,083 our audience would love to see. 245 00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:14,625 [laughing] 246 00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:16,375 - Where did you get that? - Facebook. 247 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,166 - Where did you get that? - Oh, my God! 248 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,625 Oh, my God! - [grunting] 249 00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:21,958 [screaming] - Ahh! 250 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,375 [laughs] It's fake! 251 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,083 It's fake! - No, it's not! 252 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,583 - Extensions! 253 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,625 [suspenseful music] 254 00:09:29,708 --> 00:09:32,375 ♪ ♪ 255 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:35,666 - [breathing heavily] 256 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,125 Come on, sunshine. 257 00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,083 Time to get up. 258 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:47,500 - I don't feel well. 259 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,291 Why do you look like that? 260 00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,291 - Like what? 261 00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:55,541 Oh. 262 00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,833 Well, this is my Aunt Lylah's house, 263 00:09:57,916 --> 00:09:59,166 so when I go into town, 264 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,375 I have to dress in disguise as her. 265 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,208 - How old's your aunt? 266 00:10:03,291 --> 00:10:05,208 - Like, 70. 267 00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,625 - You think people think 268 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,708 you could be in your 70s? 269 00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:12,583 - You know, you don't seem sick! 270 00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,375 - It's my stomach. 271 00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:16,750 I don't think I should be eating 272 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,375 the same thing for every meal. 273 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,458 It's making me sick. - Consistency is good for you. 274 00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:24,250 Olympians eat the same thing every day. 275 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,416 Anyway... 276 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,041 I came down here because I wanted to show you 277 00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,458 something that I'm really excited to show you. 278 00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:36,833 [unsettling music] 279 00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:43,666 ♪ ♪ 280 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:46,083 - You made these? - Mm-hmm. 281 00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:49,833 - Oh, they're actually really good. 282 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,916 ♪ ♪ 283 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,875 Oh, wow. 284 00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:59,583 Oh, my God. [breathes shakily] 285 00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:02,291 ♪ ♪ 286 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:04,041 [whimpers] 287 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,250 I'm so happy to see these. I love them! 288 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,708 - No! - [gasps] 289 00:11:08,791 --> 00:11:11,750 - No! Dory, you don't love them. 290 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,375 You hate them! 291 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,583 Dory, 292 00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:18,916 I made these so that you could work through 293 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,625 your trauma with them. 294 00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:24,916 So look at Drew. 295 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,833 Look at him and tell him 296 00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:31,625 you hate what he did to you! 297 00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,750 [solemn music] 298 00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:41,250 ♪ ♪ 299 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,500 - Hi, Drew. - Hi, Dory. 300 00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:48,416 - It's so good to see you. 301 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,458 I've missed you so much. 302 00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:53,250 - I missed you too. I'm so glad you're okay. 303 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:55,625 - [sniffles] - Yeah. 304 00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:57,625 - [whimpers softly, sniffles] 305 00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:59,541 - [whispers] It's okay. 306 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,458 - No! No! 307 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:02,791 Dory! 308 00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,458 You are never going to get better 309 00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:06,875 if you're not willing to put in the work! 310 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:11,125 - What's wrong with you? - Nothing's wrong with me. 311 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,458 I have an extremely high IQ. 312 00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:17,291 I have a PhD in psychology, an MFA in visual art, 313 00:12:17,375 --> 00:12:19,375 and a doctorate in behavioral health, 314 00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:22,708 which should be proof enough that I am perfectly capable 315 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:24,333 of functioning in society. 316 00:12:24,416 --> 00:12:27,750 If anything's wrong with me... 317 00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,958 yeah, I guess, maybe I was given 318 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,958 a few too many options growing up. 319 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:34,500 Okay? Because that's pressure! 320 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,250 That's the pressure of true privilege. 321 00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,500 - No. That's not it, though. 322 00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:44,000 [sniffles] 323 00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:47,375 You're...psychotic. 324 00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:49,875 - I'm not a freak! - I didn't call you a freak. 325 00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:51,458 - You called me a freak, 326 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:52,750 and I'm not a freak! 327 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:56,083 [ominous music] 328 00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:58,083 - Well, wait. Can't I keep them? 329 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,000 - No! 330 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:03,291 You're the freak! 331 00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,791 - Good luck on your date, Phil. 332 00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,583 Don't be ashamed of that dead tooth, okay? 333 00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,041 [chuckles] - Elliott. 334 00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,166 - Oh. [laughs] 335 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,375 - Can Tina and I have your ear 336 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:12,000 for a minute? - Of course. 337 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,166 - Let's cut to the chase, Elliott. 338 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,208 You're smart. 339 00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:15,250 People like you. 340 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:16,875 There's something there. 341 00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:19,041 We just haven't quite hooked into it yet, 342 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,666 and I think what's perhaps not working is, 343 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,625 no one really wants to see Blue State. 344 00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:23,875 - Huh. - Believe it or not, 345 00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:25,750 our viewers are just not interested 346 00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,750 in your political perspective. 347 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,208 - I'll--I'll suck your dick. 348 00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:33,875 - Oh. No, no. 349 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,250 Thank you, though. 350 00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,166 That's a solution to a different problem. 351 00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,833 Tina had an idea I think might benefit us. 352 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:42,916 Tina? - So I was thinking, 353 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,375 what if Elliott Goss switched party lines, 354 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,125 had a little change of heart, 355 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:52,416 and came to see things our way--the right way? 356 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,500 - Wait, wait, wait. 357 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,583 So--so are you telling me that you want me 358 00:13:58,666 --> 00:14:00,625 to just become fully conservative? 359 00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:02,375 - Two smart conservatives 360 00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,875 ranting about the liberal politics-- 361 00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:07,291 we'd call it "Right is Right." 362 00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,083 - Kay, wow. 363 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,250 I guess I just need you guys to understand 364 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,958 that what you're asking me to do 365 00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:16,125 is quite frankly unholy, 366 00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,875 and I'm honestly a little offended 367 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,708 that you think I would just abandon my values 368 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:20,875 so flippantly like that. 369 00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,291 So... - We understand that. 370 00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:24,416 - Mm-hmm. - And if you'd like to pursue 371 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,625 an anchor position at another reputable network, 372 00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:27,916 we understand that as well. 373 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,666 It just might be a little difficult 374 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,541 for a lying piece of trash personality 375 00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:32,875 such as yourself. 376 00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:34,750 I fear you may find your options 377 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:37,291 are a little limited. 378 00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,125 Up to you. 379 00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,583 - [laughs] 380 00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,583 Okay, excuse me. 381 00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,708 I'll need a 40% raise, a permanent hotel room 382 00:14:53,791 --> 00:14:56,958 at Columbus Circle, childcare, and no one is allowed 383 00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,708 to ask questions about that, and a zip line 384 00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:01,291 from my family's trailer to their town's post office. 385 00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:04,625 - Done and done. 386 00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:07,000 - Thank you guys so much. [chuckles] 387 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,541 - [groaning] 388 00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,250 [dramatic music] 389 00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:14,458 [moans] 390 00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:18,041 ♪ ♪ 391 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,791 [screams] [groans] 392 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,208 [screams] 393 00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:22,916 [groans] 394 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,416 Ahh! 395 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,416 ♪ ♪ 396 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,333 [screaming] 397 00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,750 - Dory? - [groans] 398 00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,875 - Have you formed your apology yet? 399 00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,500 I'm open... 400 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,666 [sniffs] To hearing it. 401 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,208 - [sniffs] 402 00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:42,833 Oh, my God. 403 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,500 I shat myself. 404 00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:48,250 - Oh! 405 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,500 Oh! - Oh, God. 406 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,375 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 407 00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:53,333 I'm not good with that kind of thing. 408 00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:55,500 - [groans] I'm sorry! 409 00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:57,708 - [groans] This is far too icky! 410 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,375 Uh, we'll just have to get you cleaned up, 411 00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:04,083 and, um, I'm gonna have to take you upstairs! 412 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,458 Oh, my God! 413 00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:09,166 Now, if you try to run away, 414 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,958 I will break both of your legs. 415 00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:15,708 Um--oh, God. Please turn around, okay? 416 00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:18,000 Oh, you smell so bad. It stinks. 417 00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:19,750 Okay, let's go. 418 00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:22,208 We're going upstairs. 419 00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:24,375 Okay, stop. 420 00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,916 Turn. Turn around. 421 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,458 [keypad beeping] No. 422 00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:33,125 Okay. 423 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,500 Up we go. 424 00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:37,208 Turn, turn. 425 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:39,958 No, there's nothing to see. There's nothing to know about. 426 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,666 It's just a bunch of barbed wire. 427 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,375 Up past the snakes, 428 00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,333 a bunch of snakes. 429 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:50,333 Okay, come on in. 430 00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:52,625 We're in the bathroom now. 431 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,750 Almost home free. Keep stepping. 432 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,000 Okay, stop. We're at the tub. 433 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,333 Just gonna turn the water on for you. 434 00:16:59,416 --> 00:17:01,708 [water running] Uh, okay. 435 00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:03,250 Don't worry. 436 00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:04,708 Um, a gentleman would never look 437 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,916 at his best friend's body. 438 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:09,208 - Thank you. - Yeah. 439 00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:12,208 Just, um, go ahead and step in. 440 00:17:12,291 --> 00:17:15,958 Yep, it's one of the old claw-foot guys. 441 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,083 Okay, good. 442 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,958 - [breathes shakily] - We're set. 443 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,291 Just--ow! Jesus Christ! 444 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,583 Sorry. 445 00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,958 That pipe's hot. Careful when you come out. 446 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:30,625 You'll wanna watch for that. 447 00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,583 [sighs] 448 00:17:34,416 --> 00:17:36,500 Did I ever tell you about that time 449 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,458 I met Princess Diana? 450 00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:40,875 - No. 451 00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:45,458 - I was five years old at boarding school, 452 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,000 up in the English countryside, 453 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:51,125 and the royals would pop in and out all the time, you know. 454 00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:54,000 But she came one day, 455 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:57,625 and she was just taken with me. 456 00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,583 And she sat me on her knee, 457 00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:01,916 and she wanted to know all my thoughts 458 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,625 on her career, you know, but this was all very hushed. 459 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:08,041 And I looked at her, 460 00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:11,500 and I said, "Diana. 461 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:14,166 You need to be taking risks." 462 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,333 You know, "I think you need to be willing 463 00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:18,500 to put your life on the line." 464 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:20,166 - Wow! 465 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:22,541 That's--that's amazing! - Yeah! 466 00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:26,958 You know, I said, "Make a statement, turn heads." 467 00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:29,666 And lo and behold, two years later, 468 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,291 what is she doing? 469 00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,750 [uneasy music] 470 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:37,041 She is standing in a field of land mines, 471 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:39,166 proudly defying death. 472 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,375 Mm. 473 00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:44,708 And, um, I--I bring it up 474 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,208 because, um, 475 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:49,791 you remind me of her, Dory. 476 00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,916 ♪ ♪ 477 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,291 I mean, you're so brave. 478 00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:58,541 It's really, really admirable. 479 00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:01,291 Okay, shower time over. 480 00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:03,000 - Oh, wait, wait, wait! Chip, can I just shower 481 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:04,333 just a little bit longer? 482 00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:05,375 Please? - Oh, gosh. 483 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:06,750 No, I don't think so, honey. 484 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,541 I don't want you to get too prune-y. 485 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,791 [water draining] 486 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,708 - That was nice. [chuckles] 487 00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,791 I liked talking with you in the shower, 488 00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:25,375 and I like feeling clean. 489 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:26,875 - Mm. 490 00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:32,041 - Maybe we can do it again some time. 491 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:38,541 - Probably not. [snickers] 492 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,083 Oh, but hey. 493 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,750 If you do poop yourself again, 494 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,208 I'll just burn this whole house down. 495 00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:51,458 - Okay, kids, it's time for me to put Ratty Raccoon 496 00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:53,000 down for his afternoon nap. 497 00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,250 Let's all sing him a song to help him get sleepy. 498 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:57,125 [children giggle] ♪ If you can sleep ♪ 499 00:19:57,208 --> 00:20:00,750 ♪ Then you can dream, and if you can dream ♪ 500 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,541 ♪ That's when wishes come true ♪ 501 00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,416 [vocalizes] 502 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,750 [laughter] 503 00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,458 Oh! [gasps] 504 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,250 It's Darby the cowgirl! 505 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,958 Gosh, I bet she's got some great American tales 506 00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:14,458 from the Wild, Wild West. 507 00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,291 [cheers and applause] Yeah! 508 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,541 Oh! 509 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,166 [laughs] 510 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:22,500 [banjo music plays] 511 00:20:23,708 --> 00:20:25,000 [squeals] 512 00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,708 Andrew, stop! - What? 513 00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:32,375 - We could get in trouble. - God, I can't help it. 514 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,791 - You know what I'm in the mood for? 515 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,916 - For me to tell you what I like about you? 516 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,583 - Mm-hmm. [laughs] 517 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,875 - Well, you're good-hearted. 518 00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,750 You're positive. - Mm-hmm. 519 00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:48,666 - You're happy, and you make me feel happy. 520 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,166 - [sighs] Can I tell you something? 521 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,541 - Of course. 522 00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,208 - Last year, during Wish Week, 523 00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,500 when it was my turn to put a star on the staff wall... 524 00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:00,541 - Yeah? 525 00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:03,333 - I wished for a tall white man 526 00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:05,583 with sweet eyes to come and sweep me 527 00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:08,625 off my feet, and then when you started working here, 528 00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,666 I called my abuelita, and I told her, 529 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,250 "I think my wish is coming true." 530 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,541 - [laughs] 531 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,916 - Is your wish coming true? 532 00:21:17,791 --> 00:21:19,833 - I think so. 533 00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:21,791 You know, I came here once as a kid, 534 00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,833 and it was, like, my favorite memory. 535 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,750 And the last couple years 536 00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:27,833 haven't really been so easy for me. 537 00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:29,000 So... 538 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:30,250 I don't know why it didn't occur to me 539 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,333 to come here sooner. 540 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,416 I mean, it is so joyful here! 541 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,833 - Yeah! - And, like, they play 542 00:21:34,916 --> 00:21:36,375 amazing music all the time. - Yeah! 543 00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,291 - And the food rocks! 544 00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:39,791 [both laugh] 545 00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:41,166 - I know. 546 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,250 - And all this time, 547 00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:46,541 a beautiful princesa was waiting for me. 548 00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,750 - [laughs] 549 00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,125 - What more could a guy like me ask for? 550 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:51,833 - [laughs] 551 00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:53,833 [cell phone buzzes, clicks] 552 00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:56,333 - Hello? - Portia! 553 00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,250 How are you? - I'm so good! 554 00:21:58,333 --> 00:22:00,666 Thank you so much for asking. How are you? 555 00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:01,708 - Good. 556 00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:02,833 So we heard back 557 00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:04,166 from the "Savage" producers... 558 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:05,500 - Okay. 559 00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:07,083 - And we have interesting news. 560 00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:09,250 - So they're a little concerned 561 00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:11,125 about how awkward it might get 562 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,958 to note your performance as Portia 563 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,875 being that you're the real Portia. 564 00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:18,958 - They wanna gauge your interest 565 00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:20,708 in possibly playing the lead. 566 00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:24,083 - The le--the lead? Who's the--what's the lead? 567 00:22:24,166 --> 00:22:26,666 - Well, it's your friend, Dory. 568 00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:27,750 - Wait. Sorry. 569 00:22:27,833 --> 00:22:29,375 They want me to play Dory? 570 00:22:29,458 --> 00:22:32,541 - They think it'll be exciting stunt casting! 571 00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:34,250 - It's just--that's awesome. 572 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:37,250 I think--I do think I should check in with Dory about it, 573 00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:38,416 if that's okay. 574 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:39,750 - Absolutely. 575 00:22:39,833 --> 00:22:41,708 Well, let us know what she says, 576 00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,458 and we'll get into it. - Okay. 577 00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,083 - This is exciting! - It is! 578 00:22:45,166 --> 00:22:47,666 Oh, my gosh, thank you, guys. Thank you so much. 579 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:50,416 Have such a great day. 580 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:51,666 [cell phone beeps] 581 00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:54,666 [dramatic electronic music] 582 00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,416 ♪ ♪ 583 00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,416 - Come on! I just need something sharp! 584 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:02,083 ♪ ♪ 585 00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,333 [grunting] 586 00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:07,500 [growls] 587 00:23:07,583 --> 00:23:10,916 ♪ ♪ 588 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,958 Come on, come on, come on! 589 00:23:13,041 --> 00:23:16,791 - ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 590 00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:20,750 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 591 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:24,791 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 592 00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:27,041 ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪ 593 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,916 - Hi, Dor! It's me. 594 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,625 Oh, my gosh, you are so cute in all your Europe pics. 595 00:23:33,708 --> 00:23:36,125 I'm freaking out. I miss you so much. 596 00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,583 Um, anyway, look, I'm calling to tell you 597 00:23:39,666 --> 00:23:41,666 that I have some really exciting news! 598 00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:43,166 I got a really big part! 599 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:46,166 It's this amazing complex role...of you. 600 00:23:46,250 --> 00:23:48,541 It's you. The part is you. 601 00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:52,500 And it's a big opportunity for me as an actor. 602 00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:55,833 And it's--I'm calling to see how you feel about it, 603 00:23:55,916 --> 00:23:58,583 and, you know, I am calling to ask your permission. 604 00:23:58,666 --> 00:24:01,166 But it's more of just a formality. 605 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:05,416 I am doing it, regardless of what you think or say. 606 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:08,500 Anyway, kiss Paris for me! I love ya! 607 00:24:08,583 --> 00:24:10,000 Okay. Bye! 608 00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:13,375 Oh, my God. That was so stressful. 609 00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:15,416 [sighs] - Mm. 610 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,583 - Ell, is it crazy for me to take this part? 611 00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,375 - No. No, no, no. 612 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,875 I think it's so brave. 613 00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:22,208 It's so badass, 614 00:24:22,291 --> 00:24:23,875 and I'm proud to call you a friend. 615 00:24:23,958 --> 00:24:25,041 - You're so sweet. 616 00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:26,458 You're making me feel so much better. 617 00:24:26,541 --> 00:24:27,791 Thank you. - Yeah. 618 00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:29,916 I think it's, like, weirdly similar 619 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,750 to something I'm going through right now. 620 00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:33,541 I think in becoming a Republican, 621 00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:36,708 I'm actually, like, playing a part. 622 00:24:36,791 --> 00:24:39,333 Just like you with Dory. I mean, you're playing a part. 623 00:24:39,416 --> 00:24:42,958 Like, we're both playing parts in this weird way. 624 00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:45,000 - Totally. - Yeah. 625 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,666 - I do think in your situation... 626 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:51,291 - Yeah? - I worry that people 627 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:53,583 might not know you're acting. 628 00:24:53,666 --> 00:24:55,291 Do you know what I mean? Like, I think that they might 629 00:24:55,375 --> 00:24:56,541 think you actually believe 630 00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:59,125 the things that you're saying. 631 00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:01,125 - Well, I could hurt you back and tell you that I actually 632 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,833 don't think you should do the movie, but I won't 633 00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:04,583 because we're in our 30s now and we're supposed 634 00:25:04,666 --> 00:25:06,208 to give up on helping each other and actually put up 635 00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:07,916 more walls in the name of boundaries, 636 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,583 but you didn't do that. You're supposed to do that. 637 00:25:09,666 --> 00:25:11,208 But you didn't do that. - Yeah, but, Ell, I just-- 638 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:12,750 - I think there's an acoustic issue 639 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:14,250 because you're not hearing me. 640 00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:15,416 Okay? 641 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,166 I support you. 642 00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,916 You have to support me. 643 00:25:22,041 --> 00:25:23,333 - Okay, I'm proud of you? 644 00:25:23,416 --> 00:25:25,583 - Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you too. 645 00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:30,541 [bell dings] 646 00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:31,791 - He-- 647 00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,875 [gasps] [thudding at door] 648 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,416 Dory! 649 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,791 You ripped your home up? 650 00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:50,916 I spent a lot of time making this for you! 651 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,416 Oh, D--the table! 652 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,750 The couch! - I'm sorry. 653 00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:58,666 I just-- [huffs] 654 00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:01,791 I just needed to left off a little steam! 655 00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,083 - Well, while you were letting off a little steam, 656 00:26:04,166 --> 00:26:08,000 I was upstairs, slaving away on some new food for you! 657 00:26:08,083 --> 00:26:10,125 So I hope this slight change in diet 658 00:26:10,208 --> 00:26:11,541 doesn't upset your system. 659 00:26:11,625 --> 00:26:13,208 [grumbling] Ooh! 660 00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,666 You have put me through the wringer today, little girl. 661 00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:17,750 I'm wiped out. 662 00:26:17,833 --> 00:26:21,208 [uneasy music] 663 00:26:21,291 --> 00:26:24,625 ♪ ♪ 664 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,916 - Hello. - Hi. 665 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,958 - Feeling good? - Mm-hmm. 666 00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:30,625 - You've got this. 667 00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:33,250 - I know. 668 00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:38,958 - Quiet on set. 669 00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:42,916 And three, two... 670 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,333 [rousing music] 671 00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:47,041 - Good afternoon, I'm Elliott Goss, 672 00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:49,208 and you're watching "Red State Blue State." 673 00:26:49,291 --> 00:26:52,500 Now, you may notice that my gorgeous cohost, 674 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:54,875 Charlie Reenie, is not sitting next to me, 675 00:26:54,958 --> 00:26:58,333 and that is because the network has generously given me 676 00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:01,666 the stage to allow me to make a statement. 677 00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:05,666 America, I owe you an apology. 678 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,583 Like many citizens today, I too have been brainwashed 679 00:27:09,666 --> 00:27:13,041 by the liberal media, by the "arts and leisure elite," 680 00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:16,041 by socialist universities, and by the coasts. 681 00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:17,333 I have been living 682 00:27:17,416 --> 00:27:19,000 in a political fantasy, 683 00:27:19,083 --> 00:27:20,833 but no longer. 684 00:27:20,916 --> 00:27:22,416 I am now and forever 685 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,583 a staunchly conservative Republican. 686 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,750 I believe in traditional Christian family values, 687 00:27:29,833 --> 00:27:32,041 speaking in English at all times, 688 00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:34,083 and anaesthetizing the lower classes 689 00:27:34,166 --> 00:27:36,541 with presidential fantasies of gold faucets 690 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,958 and beautiful women. 691 00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:41,041 I love my beliefs, I love my country, 692 00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:43,750 and I love my God. 693 00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:45,875 End of story. 694 00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:48,500 So, please, tune in next time 695 00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:49,958 for "Right is Right," 696 00:27:50,041 --> 00:27:51,875 a new program where Charlie Reenie 697 00:27:51,958 --> 00:27:54,416 and yours truly will agree on matters 698 00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:57,250 pertaining to the "right" side of history. 699 00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:59,041 Thank you. 700 00:27:59,125 --> 00:28:00,916 And in place of tonight's show, please enjoy 701 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,583 this black-and-white footage of World War II airplanes. 702 00:28:04,666 --> 00:28:06,000 - And we're out. 703 00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:08,291 [bell rings] 704 00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:11,166 - So great. 705 00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:13,083 How do you feel? 706 00:28:13,166 --> 00:28:16,541 - I feel... 707 00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:18,250 genuinely fine. 708 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,750 [both laugh] 709 00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:22,583 Whoo! [laughs] 710 00:28:22,666 --> 00:28:23,833 - Great. 711 00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:25,500 - Huh. 712 00:28:25,583 --> 00:28:26,541 Oh, God. 713 00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,041 [both chuckle] 714 00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:31,375 - [munching noisily, humming] 715 00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:40,958 [tooth cracks] Ah. 716 00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:42,583 Ow. 717 00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:47,250 [moans] Ow. 718 00:28:47,333 --> 00:28:49,375 [inhales sharply] 719 00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:51,458 Ah. 720 00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:53,000 [exhales sharply] 721 00:28:59,333 --> 00:29:02,250 [dramatic music] 722 00:29:02,333 --> 00:29:09,250 ♪ ♪ 723 00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:12,291 [upbeat music] 724 00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:15,375 ♪ ♪ 725 00:29:15,458 --> 00:29:18,083 [laughs] 726 00:29:18,166 --> 00:29:19,916 ♪ ♪ 727 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,625 - ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ 728 00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:24,125 ♪ ♪ 729 00:29:24,208 --> 00:29:26,583 ♪ Mm, mm ♪ 730 00:29:26,666 --> 00:29:28,333 ♪ ♪ 731 00:29:28,416 --> 00:29:30,583 ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ 732 00:29:30,666 --> 00:29:32,500 ♪ ♪ 733 00:29:32,583 --> 00:29:34,583 ♪ Mm, mm ♪ 734 00:29:34,666 --> 00:29:36,416 ♪ ♪ 735 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:41,166 ♪ Your boyfriend, he's no good ♪ 736 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:44,333 ♪ In the dark ♪ 737 00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:48,458 ♪ I've got you in that way ♪ 738 00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:51,333 ♪ You were making it hard ♪ 739 00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:58,291 ♪ ♪ 740 00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,791 - [coughs] 741 00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:06,391 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 51171

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