Original subtitles

¶¶

¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna be exceptional

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa, whoa

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

(SCREAMING)

You okay, Zack?

I'm just practicing for whenever Murphy's Law hits.

That's the spirit!

MELISSA: I'm just bummed it's not real skydiving.

(GROANS) Lousy restrictions on potential life-threatening

extreme sports ruining all my fun. Again.

MILO: Melissa, you were seven years old.

They weren't gonna let you in that shark cage.

I was ready.

Okay, cool. I think we've used up all the fun.

Can we get down now?

Don't worry, Zack. This simulator is perfectly safe.

In fact, There are many redundant safety systems on top of safety systems

that will prevent the turbines from stopping suddenly

or increasing to a dangerous velocity.

(BUZZING)

Five of the six safety systems have failed, eh?

Good thing we have the sixth one. 'Cause it's lunch time.

(WHIRRING FAST)

ZACK: This is what I was practicing screaming for!

Zack, it's gonna be okay. Just hang tight.

You're not the boss of me!

Just think of it as immersion therapy.

Well, now you're just making stuff up.

No, immersion therapy, it's a thing.

It's like, if you're afraid of scorpions,

you stick your face into a jar of scorpions.

That's a terrible idea!

You'd get stung on the face by a whole jar of scorpions!

Okay, bad example.

It's okay, Zack, I've got these.

It's Elliot-brand safety chutes.

Elliot? The crossing guard?

Yeah. Elliot's got his own line of safety stuff.

¶ Elliot-brand Safety Chutes

¶ Don't fall anywhere without one ¶

Anything in there for me, Milo?

You bet!

You know there was a time in my life

when this would have been very amusing, Milo.

Sorry. Ah, I knew Elliot gave me three of em.

Four of them.

Anyway, don't worry, Zack.

We are 600 feet in the air.

The updraft should keep us up. Unless it happens to break.

(CHIRPING)

Like that.

ZACK: Milo!

MILO: We'll be on the ground in just a few seconds.

As long as nothing turns the wind turbine back on.

But really, what are the odds of that?

So, what happens if the sixth safety system fails, eh?

Oh, the backup generator will turn the wind turbine back on.

(SCREAMING) MELISSA: Whee!

(ZACK YELLING)

It's going to be okay, Zack.

Maybe try to visualize something tranquil, like a lake.

A peaceful lake with... Ducks!

Yeah. That's nice. A nice peaceful lake.

(DUCKS QUACKING) That's nice... What?

(ALL QUACKING)

ZACK: The birds! The birds!

I'm coming over, Melissa!

(WHOOPING IN FEAR)

Melissa, your feet are my new best friends.

I dig 'em, too.

(DUCKS QUACKING)

Hope you like company, Milo, because we're coming over.

(GRUNTS)

MILO: Oh, no, we're caught in an up-draft.

Now we're caught in a down-draft.

Up-draft. Down-draft.

Up-draft. Down-draft.

Yeah, I just seen these kids.

In the sky. They were drifting by in the sky.

Just a concerned citizen is all. But I don't like

people I don't know making shadows on my house.

(BARKING)

No, that wasn't me. That was a dog.

A dog! What the heck is wrong with you?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Well then, I apologize!

DAKOTA: (SINGING) ¶ We're flying in the sky

¶ We're flying in the sky

¶ And then we're gonna find some alien trash ¶

(GRUNTS) You are not helping.

Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the credenza this morning.

Credenza is a desk.

Yeah, I know. I just said it because it sounds old-fashioned.

We saved the world and what did we get for our troubles?

Alien trash? Exactly!

Just once I'd like someone to take notice of us.

To get some credit.

It's like no one sees what we do at all.

MAN: Sir. We have a bogey in Sector eight.

They seem to be flying a banner that says...

COLONEL NIBLET: Hang on a second. I'm making some popcorn.

(MIMICS MOCKINGLY) I'm making some popcorn.

Hey, check it out.

"Best if used before October 3rd."

What day is it? October 4th.

(STRAPS SNAPPING)

Wow, they've got their expiration dates down to a science.

(ALL YELLING)

MILO: Don't worry! I've got backups!

But I did buy them all at the same... (ZACK SCREAMING)

...time, so they may all have the same... (ZACK SCREAMING)

...expiration date. (ZACK SCREAMING)

Except this one. I got this one the next day.

(HUMMING HAPPILY)

Uh-oh. I think we lost Zack.

Uh, Zack, are you okay?

I'm... I'm not sure.

I... I think I'm so scared I'm not scared anymore.

Is that a thing? I don't know.

Maybe instead of a straight line or a simple progression

from peaceful to terrified,

maybe fear is more like a circle, and after absolute terror

there's no place to go but back to peaceful.

Yeah, I was right. We lost him.

No, Melissa, I know what he's talking about.

It's like a bad movie.

Sometimes it can get so bad it's good again.

Fear is like a bad movie!

Does this bad movie end with us being impaled on jagged rocks?

MILO: No, wait look! ALL: Diogee!

ZACK: Wait, where did he get a mattress?

MILO: My neighbors are having a yard sale.

We're gonna be... (SCREAMS)

(BARKING)

I guess it's for the best.

That mattress was just a twin. We'd barely all fit on it.

So why are we going side ways?

Where did THAT come from?

Sir, there appears to be something interfering with our reconnaissance drone.

This better be important, Lieutenant Tenant.

My microwave popcorn is slowing down to three to four pops per second,

and if I'm not there to stop it, it'll burn.

And then I'm "the guy who burned the popcorn" in the office microwave

and I'll never hear the end of it.

I think we've snagged a flat badger

that's been painted to look like a parachute.

A flat badger. In mid-air?

Or maybe it's just an actual parachute.

Bring it back in and we'll take a look at it.

After I finish my popcorn.

(MOCKINGLY) I'm Colonel Niblet.

I have to stop everything just so I can...

(MOCKINGLY) Actually, that was pretty good. It sounded just like me.

(MOCKINGLY) Actually, that was pretty good. It sounded just like me.

You're blowing my mind, Lieutenant!

OFFICER: Attention, flying minors!

This is restricted airspace.

(CREAKING) Wait a minute. What's that creaking noise?

Curse you, October 3rd expiration date!

Uh-oh.

Man, the surround sound on this movie is awesome!

Uh, sir? That may not be the movie.

You know this reminds me of this movie I saw last weekend.

The whole thing was shot on a sky backdrop.

I think they were saving money on locations.

Was it a good movie? Eh.

(ZACK YELLING)

So we're back to the screaming again.

It's not that big a circle!

It's okay, Zack. I think the chute's gonna hold.

Can't we please just get to the ground?

Yes, that should be our goal.

Who did this? It must've been them!

Quick, use the disintegration ray!

What's wrong?

"Best if used by October 3rd."

Dad-blast-it!

Your dad's not here, sir.

Well, then somebody else blast it. Send the drone!

Hey, Cavendish, remember when you said that you felt like

nobody saw the things we do? Well, look.

You can run, but you can't hide.

(SIGHS) I'm never gonna hear the end of this.

Hey, it looks like they wanna take our picture.

Or maybe eradicate us from the planet!

CAVENDISH: Evasive maneuvers!

A plane!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Hey, look! The Murphy kid! Hey, Murphy!

Oh! (CHUCKLES) Hey, Dakota!

Wait. How are they going up?

They're not, actually. We're just going down faster than they are.

DAKOTA: Oh, yeah. Look at that.

Grab onto the banner on our tail!

I can't believe that worked!

(BANNER RIPPING)

And we're back.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(YELLING)

Way to go, Zack!

Your adrenalized fear response to climb the banner in mid-air actually saved us.

MELISSA: Now we're gonna hit the ground at a non-fatal velocity.

And that's my favorite kind of velocity.

I don't believe it.

Oh, like that's the craziest thing you've ever saw Murphy and his friends do.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

This is for the Colonel's popcorn!

DAKOTA: Pull up! Pull up! CAVENDISH: I'm trying!

Try harder!

CAVENDISH: I'm trying!

(GRUNTS)

MILO: Okay, Let's aim for that pillow factory.

MELISSA: Uh Milo? Pillow factories are only soft on the inside.

(LAUGHS) Oh, right.

MILO: Look, there's a circus! Maybe we can land on the tent.

Never mind.

ZACK: Great! We're going up again! Goodbye, sweet Earth.

(LAUGHS) This is delicious!

That drone! We are on someone's radar. We have rivals!

We are important again.

Yeah, I'm just glad I put your name on the plane rental form.

Hey, look, there's Diogee.

MELISSA: What is he doing?

MILO: He's not supposed to shoot himself out of a canon.

(BARKS)

(GROWLING, BARKING)

MILO: Hey, we're going down!

(ALL CHEERING) (BARKING)

You know maybe this whole "immersion therapy" thing worked.

Instead of being really scared sometimes,

I'm just a little bit scared, all the time.

That's right, Zack. Baby steps.

Right. Now let's break out that jar full of scorpions.

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

Hey! Zack and Melissa, right?

Oh, hey, "Neil From the Comic Shop."

Have a seat, "Neil From the Comic Shop."

I do have a last name.

Sure, you do. I'm pretty sure it's "From the comic shop."

Yeah, Mr. From the Comic Shop, sir.

Heh, okay. I'm only two years older than you.

Whatever you say, old man. Hey, where's Milo?

He'll be here soon. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes.

Right, the "Murphy's Law" thing.

How does he deal with that? I mean, what's it like to be Milo?

How can he possibly be so calm and so prepared all the time?

Well... like, today is new comic book day

so he's going to the comic shop, right?

(BELL CHIMES)

MELISSA: Milo's picking up a copy of the new Doctor Zone Universe,

Limited Series for Sara.

Always thinking of others, our Milo.

He's a peach.

MELISSA: He usually takes the same path every week...

Skirting that construction site downtown...

He'll take the shortcut past the crayon factory...

Passes the coffee shop. And then head over the bridge and meet us here.

ZACK: But first he's got to pack his backpack.

The backpack is like the key to all of this.

Have you guys played Caverns & Creatures?

Duh, It's only the biggest online game.

I think being Milo is like living that game.

His whole life is a quest.

ZACK: It's like he's a wizard.

Except without the pointy hat.

And the beard. And the robe.

Oh, and any other wizardy stuff you might be imagining.

So, he's basically just Milo.

No, he's Milo the Great and his Trusty Backpack of Holding!

ZACK: See, his "Backpack of Holding" is enchanted.

It can't ever be filled up! Can't ever be emptied...

Well, almost never and it may even be alive!

(BURPS)

Excuse me.

(MELISSA GROANS)

ZACK: He also might just re-pack it every day,

but that's boring, so, forget that!

SCROLL NARRATOR: You just procured a story scroll!

It shall be stored in your enchanted Backpack of Holding!

ZACK: Once he has goods in hand,

he'll head past the construction site. (VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)

There is a disproportionately large amount of construction going on in this town.

ZACK: A construction site where anything that can go wrong, will.

(CRASH)

ZACK: His Backpack of Holding, um, holds,

all the solutions to the problems at hand.

(BIRDS SCREECHING)

(CRANE MOVING NOISILY)

(WATER SPLASHING)

But no task is impossible for Milo the Great,

Wizard of Murphyosity.

Milo's no Wizard! He's more like a Super Villain!

BRADLEY: He revels in the chaos that he creates!

He's Captain Chaos!

Oh, please! You think he's doing this on purpose?

That's even more ridiculous than the ridiculousness that is his life already.

It's my turn to talk. I have the staff of Krum-Hai!

You kept that thing?

Souvenir. Milo isn't a "victim" of Murphy's Law.

Being Milo is easy.

Make a mess.

Then fix it.

(LAUGHS)

I told you guys it would only hold ten rolls of paper.

Now the last one is sticking out! (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

It's not my problem, that's why I'm calling you.

I had some twine but I don't think it'll hold for the drive

Never mind.

BRADLEY: So he causes problems just to fix them...

(CHEERING) ...and be praised for his "heroism."

It's like getting an award for cleaning up your room.

After you messed it up!

Cleaning down.

Hey, "Neil From the Comic Shop."

Hey, "Sara From the Comic Shop."

What's "cleaning down?"

Something Milo used to say when he was little.

"Cleaning down" is Murphy's Law.

It's what happens before you clean up.

And besides, Milo always puts other people first.

That's the opposite of a villain, Bradley.

It's all about him! Milo, Milo, Milo!

Bradley you're just upset because you still have a plant arm.

How did he save everybody in town except for me?

Yeah, that was weird.

Yes, Mort, do you have something you'd like to add?

I think Milo is an explorer on the astral plane.

BRADLEY: What does that even mean?

MORT: He sees all.

He's sensitive to the ebb and flow of the universe

and receptive to its guidance.

He realizes there is no beginning, there is no end,

there is only the eternal now.

He's an Astrological Astronaut.

NEIL: He is?

MORT: Oh wait... No.

I was thinking of me. Hehe. Sorry.

CHAD: Mort may be confused, but he's not entirely wrong

when he talks about places and dimensions beyond our own.

But I warn you, the true tale of Milo's existence

is far more spooky,

than any of you are prepared to hear.

ZACK: Was Chad sitting here the whole time?

He's got food.

I like scary stories.

(SCARY VOICE) Spooky stories.

Please, Mr. From the Comic Shop, don't get him started.

To tell this tale, I must first set the mood. (GRUNTS)

If you could just a... Move back.

Just a little lower. Oops wrong way.

There. That is sufficiently spooky enough.

Stop that.

Okay, Milo's spooky secret is...

He sees dead people.

MELISSA AND ZACK: What?

CHAD: Oops, sorry dropped my phone.

I warned you this tale would be spooky.

So let me get this straight. Milo sees dead people?

CHAD: First, you must understand that Danville

is the most haunted city in the whole state.

Milo is like a paranormal investigator walking the city.

It's filled with ghosts.

Ghosts that are unable to move on for mysterious reasons.

And they speak to Milo.

Hi, Milo!

Afternoon! Hey, Milo!

Good afternoon!

Hey, Milo, look! I can fly now.

Look at me! Man I love flying!

So, the ghosts are all friendly?

No, no, no, only, like, half the ghosts are friendly,

the other half are... (IN A SPOOKY VOICE) Evil.

What does any of this have to do with Milo or Murphy's law?

That's the thing.

There is no Murphy's Law.

Bum-bum-baaaaa!

CHAD: It's really just the ghosts that are causing

all the damage and destruction

that gets attributed to Milo.

Why did they have to make my latte so hot?

(GRUNTING)

Someone took the bolt I needed. It's just a five-eights.

Is this my five-eights?

Who took the bolt I needed? It is a five-eights.

CHAD: Milo wanders through town, looking for clues

to why these souls are trapped here.

Using mystical and cursed objects collected from across the globe

that he carries around in his backpack, he helps to free the dead.

I found the bolt you lost.

Here's a cold sports drink. Much better than lattes.

It might feel good on the throat.

CHAD: Or exorcise the really bad ones.

(GRUNTING)

Back! The power of this Doctor Zone comic compels you.

(GRUNTING)

ZACK: Wow, I never even considered that as a possi...

Murphy's law is absolutely real,

I've been there when it has happened.

How do you explain that time we were trapped

on that run-away sled?

CHAD Ghost bobsled team.

MELISSA: Runaway fire truck?

CHAD: Ghost firemen.

MELISSA: Runaway Hamosaur?

CHAD: Ghost dragon.

MELISSA AND ZACK: Ghost dragon?

Yes. There are many forces at work here, I mean...

I mean look at the backpack that he was given by, uh, nevermind.

Wait, just where do you think he got his backpack?

I'd rather not say.

Chad, where did you think he got it?

Bigfoot.

Okay, we're all done here. Thank you.

Please return to your spooky chair in the shadows.

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) Thank you. Thank you.

Aw. I knew you weren't prepared to hear this tale.

But when Bigfoot attacks don't come crawling to me.

All of this has been very educational.

But what's your take, Sara?

He is your brother after all...

I think Milo sees the world the way everybody does,

he just focuses on the solution instead of the problem.

Either that or he's magic. He's wizardy.

See? Close.

I used to wonder if he was more like a robot?

You know, like the "Milo-Nator!"

Steep. Yes!

Finally! A robot for a friend!

A robot? But that's impossible!

Exactly!

Like right now, he'd be at the bridge

and something impossible will have happened...

But Milo would already be three steps ahead.

He thinks so fast

and has seen and experienced so much,

he can analyze things like relative speed and threat risk level

in the blink of an eye.

It's as if time stops for him.

And he can then maneuver through any obstacle thrown in his path,

save the day and commit the event to memory

to help him the next time something similar occurs.

This would allow him to run alternatives

and worst-case scenarios in his mind,

helping analyze the best, most prudent course of action.

For the impossible Milo Murphy...

...nothing is impossible. (MILO GRUNTING)

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. Whoa!

Hey, Milo. Hey, Neil from the Comic Shop.

Right on time, Milo the Great.

Hey, baby bro. Hey, Sara.

I'm sorry. I bought you a comic

but there was some cleaning down I had to clean up.

You know how it goes.

I already picked up two.

Wow, Sara. You're so wizardy!

Runs in the family.

So, what'd you guys do this afternoon?

Tried looking at the world through someone else's eyes.

(DIOGEE BARKING)

Diogee.

You're not supposed to be at the Three Lil Pigs Pulled Pork Vegan BBQ Hut.

Bark, bark, bark. Diogee, go home.

Bark, bark.

(BARKING)

Go home.

So, tell us what your day has looked like.

Okay, um...

Well, it all started when I was packing my backpack this morning and...

Oh, wait...

Could we just scooch three feet this way?

What? How did... How did he know?

This is Milo's world. You're just living in it.

We're all living in it.

¶ We're all living in it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶