Original subtitles

¶¶

¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna be exceptional

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa, whoa

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

So, what do you think of the lemonade?

It's, um... It's really bad, Milo.

Yeah, maybe I should've used lemons.

ZACK: Guys, guys!

Hey, guess what? My uncle is heading for an agricultural conference,

and he needs somebody to do his farm chores today.

And that someone is you?

You sound like my dad. He didn't think a city boy like me could handle it.

You? A city boy? Handle it?

I don't think so.

Okay, I'm not sure that was worth a whole flashback, but...

Anyhow, I'm going, and I thought

maybe if you guys didn't mind getting your hands dirty...

Are you kidding? I'm gonna document the whole thing.

Can you imagine Zack with real pigs?

All that squealing. Zack. Not the pigs.

Pretty sure this thing with the udder is a cow.

It's a goat, man.

Yeah, this is gonna be fun.

(BANJO MUSIC PLAYING)

Zack! My favorite nephew.

Bear hug!

Hey, uncle Cornelius.

These are my friends, Milo and Melissa.

Welcome, kids.

Listen, Zack. Are you sure you're gonna be able to handle all these chores?

My dad said the same thing.

He doesn't think I can handle it 'cause I'm a city boy.

You? A city boy? Handle it?

I don't think so.

Huh. Not sure that was worth a whole flashback.

(CHUCKLES) Right?

Well, I sure do appreciate you kids helping out.

Here's a list of chores.

Gotta run. See you at supper time.

Watch where you step. It ain't all mud.

First on the list is milking a cow.

With my hands!

Just kidding. I got this. I watched a video tutorial online.

Yeah, that's a guy making pasta.

This is just ridiculous. We're completely lost.

I'm going to call Mr. Block and find out exactly where we're supposed to be.

Mr. Block, sir, It's Cavendish and Dakota.

We can't seem to find the address.

Well, look around and tell me what you see.

All I can see is corn.

You're there.

And you're looking for this.

It fell off a passing UFO and landed somewhere in that corn field.

And please, remember to have fun.

What's not fun about corn?

Really? You throw away the outside, you cook the inside,

then you eat the outside of the inside, then throw away the inside of the inside.

It's stupid.

I wasn't really expecting an answer to that...

Hey, look. There's a gate! Let's go in there.

Okay, let me handle this. I know exactly what to say to gain us entry.

(BELL RINGING)

Who are you and what do you want?

Yes, hello, sir. My associate and I were wondering

if we could have a look around your property...

What are you looking for?

We believe there may be an artifact there.

What artifact? What are you going on about?

Well, you see, it's of alien origin, and we work for an organization...

Alien?

Well, yes, you know, little green men?

You're looking for aliens?

Well, not exactly. We believe that they dropped something in your...

Oh, I get it. You heard about aliens flying around here,

and you wanna stake out my place and get a photo

so you can sell it to the tabloids.

Well, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.

Well, I didn't mean to...

Well, I did fall off a truck once, but there were no turnips in it.

Yes, I suppose that must... Electronics!

I'm sorry, what?

That's what was in the truck I fell out of.

You see, my brother-in-law works at...

Yes, if we could just circle back to the point here.

You see, my friend and I...

Look, you. If anyone's getting a photo of little green men to sell to the tabloids, it's me.

My corn. My photo. Now git!

You didn't say "please".

What?

You should've said "please".

Couldn't hurt, you know. Be polite.

(SIGHS)

(BELL RINGING)

I told you to git! I'm not letting anyone on my farm, except those aliens.

Would it make a difference if I said... Please?

(GATE BUZZING)

How about that, Dakota? I should've just said "please" in the first place.

You should've said "pretty please".

MELISSA: Okay, Zack, here we go, door number one.

Milking the cow.

Oh, yuck, what is that awful smell? (FLIES BUZZING)

Well, according to the internet, it's farm.

Oh, here we go. What do you think, Zack?

Is this a cow?

Yeah, very funny, Melissa.

I'm gonna record this for posterity's sake.

I saw how it's done on the video.

Okay. Just grab the udders like this and gently sq...

(MEOWS)

Well, that's not right.

And gently...

(CHIRPING) Sure. Sure. Why not?

And gently squeeze...

(SCREAMS) It went in my mouth!

Zack. It's milk.

I know, but it just came right out of the cow!

(MOOING)

(SCREAMING) It went into my mouth...

Hey, look, a milking machine.

I wonder how we missed that.

Oh, and look. Instructions.

One, use the milking machine.

That's all it says.

Okay, Zack. You no longer have to use your hands.

Okay, no problem. I'll just put these on the... (SIGHS)

(MEOWS) (GRUNTING)

(MEOWS LOUDLY)

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(RAPID BEEPING)

Despite Murphy's Law, I still did the chore.

(MOOING)

Next, check Old Face Kicker's back horseshoe.

Question. His name is Old Face Kicker?

It's a little bit of an exaggeration.

Really? Yeah, he's really not that old.

Um, as a follow-up question,

does that mean that this chore ends with someone being kicked in the face?

Don't worry about it. I brought face protection.

Oh, hey, look. It's just a little rock.

Now, that was easy.

Wow. Looks like we got a free ride on this...

Whatever, I finished the chore.

Looks like he's not going to let us in.

Wait, remember what the farmer said?

No.

You? A city boy? Handle it?

I don't think so.

What was that?

I have no idea. I think it was somebody else's flashback.

Anyway, what the farmer said was that

the only ones he would let on his property were the aliens.

So...

Ooh... (BELL RINGING)

Oh, great. He's not even there.

Come on. Let's just climb the fence.

Next, "Build a scarecrow using the Benign Deluxe Scarecrow Assembly Module provided."

Okay, will do.

(ALARM BLARING)

(GASPS AND SCREAMS)

(YELLING)

I guess "benign" is a relative term.

Whatever. I finished the chore.

(CROW CAWS) You are the chore.

And as supper time approaches, we reach our final chore.

ALL: Slop the pigs.

(CHUCKLES) The little guy likes you.

MELISSA: Well, you found a friend.

(OINKING)

Aw, look at the smelly little guy.

I'm gonna call you Stinky McStinksteen.

Say oink.

Well, you know what they say. Life on the farm is filled with...

(CHICKENS CLUCKING) (MELISSA SQUEALS)

(GRUNTS) (SQUEALING)

No!

You know, Murphy's Law used to be a lot more nuanced and complex.

Now stuff just explodes.

FARMER: My alien plan worked.

Well, I'm gonna get me some pictures and sell 'em to the tabloids!

We'll never find it...

Blasted ill-fitting costumes.

Well, excuse me, they were the only alien costumes I had in the van. (GRUNTS)

Wait, I think that's the thing up there. (SQUEALING)

Voila! Alien trash.

(SQUEALING)

Look. The alien trash. That's it.

(LOUD SQUEALING)

The aliens!

(ALL SCREAMING)

¶ Don't know what you want from me

¶ Don't know if we need a referee

¶ But I go down this road

¶ 'Cause it's the path of least resistance

¶ Do you wanna run this race?

¶ Baby, you just name the time and place

¶ And I'll be there I'll be there

¶ 'Cause I can really go the distance

¶ But if I chase you and you chase me

¶ We just go round and round and round

¶ I can think of better use for our energies

¶ We can find a common ground

¶ It would be nice if we could compromise

¶ And simply just agree

¶ Yes, it would be nice, but in actuality

¶ I chase you you chase me

¶ Till the cycle stops repeating

¶ It looks like I'm gonna take a beating

¶ But I'm not flowing into town

¶ No, it's just an observation

¶ Don't know if we're ever getting out

¶ We're just stuck here in this roundabout

¶ But I can do this all day long

¶ This exact same conversation

¶ But if I chase you and you chase me

¶ We just go round and round and round

¶ I can think of better use for our energies

¶ If we can find a common ground

¶ It would be nice if we could compromise

¶ And simply just agree

¶ Yes, it would be nice, but in actuality

¶ I chase you you chase me ¶

Well, I'll be dog-gone!

You not only did all your chores, you harvested the corn.

Not sure about your fashion choices,

but we'll make a farm boy out of you yet.

Yeah! Oh, thanks, Uncle Cornelius. That's, uh...

That's how us city boys roll.

MARCUS: So, Zack, how'd you get along at Uncle Cornelius' farm?

We had a great time, Dad.

We milked the cow. Took a stone out of Old Face Kicker's shoe.

Slopped the pigs. Made some scarecrows and we harvested the corn.

Just the three of you?

Yup. I'm very impressed.

But when did you have time to pose for this picture?

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

(BEEPING) MILO: Time.

How's the practice going? Pretty good.

We are so gonna win that Build a Bot contest!

(POWERING UP)

Well, I'm glad it was apple sauce today instead of Sloppy Joe's.

Oh, here, Joni. Sorry about that.

Thank you, Milo. Oh, um, here's your robot.

Oh, thank you. I'll see you later, Joni.

Bye, Milo.

Is it supposed to do that? Uh, yes.

Are you coming to the science fair this weekend?

I wish. My dad signed me up for some program where women mentor girls.

It's called You Go, Girl.

¶ You go, girl ¶

I suggested we go on a ride along with the cops,

but my mentor wants to meet for knitting and tea.

Dad thinks I need more "femergy."

Yeah, I can see it.

I take it back. You're a delicate flower.

Great, I'm going to spend a whole day doing stuff

that someone else thinks I should like.

(ZAPPING)

Cool!

(GRUNTING)

Awesome!

(VOCALIZES)

Time travel is way cooler than knitting.

(GRUNTING)

This is the kind of ride-along I was... Oh!

Stay down! Drive! Drive!

(GRUNTS)

Wait! You forgot me!

This is bringing back really terrible memories.

Wait. You forgot me.

Wait. You forgot me.

(CHEERING)

Wait. You forgot me.

Hello. I'm Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

I'm a former evil scientist, now just a... A scientist, I guess.

And I'll be judging your robots today at the science fair.

You know, I built my first robot at your age,

and then it built another robot.

And that one destroyed the first robot.

And then that robot built another robot,

which turned around and destroyed...

Anyway, you get the idea,

it's just a bunch of robots building and destroying each other and, uh...

So, you know, let that be a lesson to you.

Anywho, here's a box of parts, you have three hours!

I have to be an impartial judge,

so I'm taking points off your team just because I know you.

Um, that's not really how that works, Dr. D.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Three hours. Bye.

All right, who are you?

I'm Melissa. Yeah, you chased Zack and me into the sewers. Remember?

Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Everything I do is classified.

So, I'm going to wipe your memory and dump you back where I found you.

Wait! Wait! I've got an idea, you could be my mentor.

We'd be a great team. What do you think?

Sorry, kid, I'm not really the mentoring type.

Savannah, I see you got the briefcase. Good.

Oh, hey! You finally signed up for the Spy Little Sister mentoring program!

That's great! I'll remember this in your next review.

Oh, um, yes. That's what I did.

Excellent! You good at keeping secrets there, Little Sister?

I, um...

Good enough for me, kid.

In less than three hours, a homemade robot will go on a rampage

and wipe out half of the city.

I need you two to go forward in time

and see what went wrong, then go back in time to fix it!

Wait! My best friends are at a robot-building competition

right now at our middle school. We have to go there.

I guess, since now you're my mentee.

Good! Milo will be there, and I have years of experience with Murphy's Law...

And are you good at using your hands and feet as deadly weapons?

I, um... Yes.

Good enough for me, kid.

Paris was fun.

Say, young man, you haven't seen a girl looking for a teahouse, have you?

No, why?

I had a day of knitting and tea drinking planned with my You Go Girl mentee.

But she's a no-show.

It's so unpleasant to be left behind.

I like tea.

¶ There's a whole lot of things in this world

¶ You just don't know, girl

¶ You go, girl

¶ And you don't have to figure them out all on your own, girl

¶ You go, girl

¶ So log in to our enrollment center

¶ Our algorithm will match you with your perfect mentor

¶ And so, girl You can go, girl ¶

(LAUGHING)

Extra, extra! (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Read about the disaster that's happening right now in real time!

Hey, you with the newspaper. What happened?

Monster robot ruins science fair!

I have to find out how this started.

And save my friends?

Oh, yes. And that.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Holy smokes!

Zack, Milo. Are you Okay? What happened?

I don't know. Things were going great one minute and the next, mayhem.

And not the normal kind.

We were just finishing our night light robot when...

ROBOT: Don't be afraid of the dark.

Oh, bulb's out. Let me go grab another one.

ROBOT: Be afraid of me.

Oh, yes. And I'll take this, too.

It's about to get real up in here.

Hmm. You know, that red light bulb did come

from that box of Dr. D's old stuff,

and he did used to be an evil scientist, so...

I've got to get that bulb and save the city.

Hey, wait a minute. I thought you were off getting "femergy."

This is what "femergy" looks like. Boom!

Delicate flower.

ROBOT: Stand still.

Where are you goi... Oh, ow, ow.

Now, you'll... Oh. (GRUNTS)

I found out what went wrong.

Great!

ROBOT: It's so unpleasant to be left behind.

MELISSA: The robot went nuts after Milo and Zack

put in the red light bulb they got from Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz? No mention of an address in this time frame.

He's off the grid.

Actually, he's crashing on Milo's couch.

Not bad, Little Sister.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ: ¶ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my heart

¶ I can feel it... ¶

(BOTH YELLING)

Come on, we gotta jump ahead 15 minutes!

I will never un-see that.

Oh, hello again.

Where are the boxes of robot parts for the science fair?

I had some nice young man from the school pick them up yesterday.

Lugging boxes is bad for my posture.

Was there a red light bulb in there?

Wait the Turn-Inanimate- Objects-Evil-Inator bulb was in that box?

I can't imagine I would've been irresponsible enough to...

Oh, yeah, probably...

Take us to Jefferson G. County Middle School.

You wait right here.

No, no, I'm your mentee. Use me.

Um, okay, go distract your friends and keep them from making that robot.

I'm going to find that box with the red bulb and save the city.

Okay, okay, I'm on it! Go, team!

Got 'em!

And they say Argon is an inert gas.

Your robot is going to go nuts and destroy the city,

There's an evil light bulb in your box of parts.

Or, "Hi, Milo".

Yeah, that's very rude, Melissa.

I'll punch you later. Now come on.

You guys sit over here, and don't make an evil robot.

(BUBBLING)

Thanks, Ma'm.

Ma'm?

(BEEPING)

(DINGS)

Huh?

(YELLS) It's the bulb!

(GRUNTING)

¶ When the going gets tough, the tough get going

¶ You know, girl ¶ You go, girl

¶ So, when you're out in the field and use Krav Maga

¶ You go, girl

¶ I don't think that we're overstepping

¶ When you see how hard we're being a lethal weapon

¶ You gotta throw an old broken combo, go girl

¶ You go, girl ¶ You gotta go, girl

Plastic doesn't conduct electricity.

¶ You go, girl ¶ You go, girl

¶ Go, girl ¶

Can you reach the bulb?

I got this.

Lights out.

(ALL CHEERING)

Great job, Melissa.

Nice "femergy!"

Boom!

I have to take off, mentee.

How did I do? Good enough for me, kid.

Oh, yeah, by the way, you're probably gonna get an email with a little survey.

If you could, just, you know, give me all tens.

That would really help with my next review.

You got it. G-Go, team! (CHUCKLES)

Catch you later, partner.

Oh, right. Brick.

(ZAPPING)

Okay, that's enough "femergy".

(ZAPPING)

Finally. He was so needy.

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶