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1
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¶¶
2
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:10,782
¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky
3
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,208
¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly
4
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,454
¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree
5
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,049
¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be
6
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,852
¶ Whoa
7
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,285
¶ Today is gonna be exceptional
8
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,820
¶ Never boring even for a minute
9
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,456
¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it
10
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:33,132
¶ Whoa, whoa
11
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,704
¶ Never boring even for a minute
12
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,973
¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶
13
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:49,045
So you're saying the word
"cowboy" has nothing to do
with cows or boys?
14
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,720
Absolutely nothing.
15
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,478
Hey, Milo.
Hey, guys.
16
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,816
Hey, Milo's friends.
17
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,991
Oh, hi, Dr. D.
18
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:56,059
What are you doing here?
19
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,487
He's shadowing me today.
20
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:01,091
Yeah, long story, you see,
bad things happen to me
all the time.
21
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,925
Seriously, it's practically
my own Murphy's Law.
22
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:07,271
Like Doof's Law or Heinz' Law.
23
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,498
Heinz' Law. It's like coleslaw
but Heinz' Law.
24
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,004
I should market that.
25
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,366
¶ If you're looking for a food you can take on a picnic
26
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,235
¶ Try Heinz ' Law ¶
27
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,343
It's 30% horseradish.
28
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,076
So anyway...
29
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:23,781
Right. So I just thought
maybe I could tag along
30
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,884
and see how the kid
deals with it.
31
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,016
So you're just gonna come
to school with us today?
32
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:30,993
Yep.
33
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,961
You still don't have a job
or something else
you should be doing?
34
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,030
Nope.
35
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,000
(WIND WHISTLING)
36
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,771
Did I tell you guys about how
I was raised by ocelots?
37
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,840
Oh, here's the bus.
Thank goodness.
38
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:49,213
So Milo. This whole
Murphy's Law thing...
39
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:53,050
How carefully have you been
able to track the frequency,
duration and intensity
40
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:55,947
of occurrence? 'Cause I've
been doing that with
my own negative events.
41
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,585
This is when a giant ball of
tin foil ripped the roof off
my building.
42
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,789
Here's the first time
I blew up, and then, uh...
43
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,961
This is where I got
tied to that birthday...
44
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,700
Oh, here's where I opened a
ream of paper in a school bus
and crashed into a subway.
45
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:13,827
This time I wouldn't have
had the time to add it
to the list,
46
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,234
but it was the first time
that happened.
47
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,469
Ah, the bus fairy got
my letter!
48
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,984
So was that Murphy's Law?
49
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,237
Nope. That was all you.
50
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,817
But if it was Murphy's Law,
how would you deal with it?
51
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,947
I just stay calm and lead
everyone to the surface.
52
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,922
And we're walking.
We're walking.
53
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,362
Interesting. See, I would've
continued with the thing
that I was doing.
54
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:41,629
Opening a ream of paper in
a school bus so it crashes
into the subway?
55
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,159
Yeah, that's right, and I
would just keep doing that
56
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,755
until I got thwarted, but hey,
57
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,066
that's why I'm here, right?
To live and learn.
58
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,943
So what's on the docket here
for PE class?
59
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:55,009
What kinda of crazy
shenanigans can we expect?
60
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,309
Is it a barrage of
flaming volleyballs?
61
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,781
A marauding band of
lacrosse sticks?
62
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,610
Actually, all we do
is stretch.
63
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,775
Yeah, the coach is never
here on Wednesday mornings.
64
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,584
I wonder where he goes.
65
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,889
COACH: Okay, I'll start.
66
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,320
Hello, my name is Coach,
67
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:15,686
and I believe we are being
visited by extraterrestrial
entities.
68
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,626
Oh, that's true as turkey.
69
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,571
You're preaching to the choir.
70
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:23,037
Seriously, y'all shouldn't
be here. You don't get
the room till 10:30.
71
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,137
Oh.
72
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:26,368
¶ Sorry ¶
73
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,541
So anyway, (CLEARS THROAT)
about two weeks ago,
74
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,984
I was parked by the side
of the road, see?
75
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,710
Shut my eyes for a few seconds...
76
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:35,775
(HORN SOUNDS)
(SNORING)
77
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:40,553
And the next thing I knew, an entire hour had passed by.
78
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,258
BOTH: Missing time.
79
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,717
Was there a bright light?
Were you immobilized?
80
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:49,156
Did they examine you in
horrible, demeaning ways?
81
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:53,673
Excuse me, is this
the Konsortium Of Other
Worldly Knowledge Seekers?
82
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,027
That's us.
83
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,735
Oh, yes. I see.
84
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,607
Just one question. You spelt
"Consortium" with a "K".
85
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,507
You realize that's a "C", yes?
86
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,008
Yeah but then it would
spell "cooks."
87
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,580
And we are not cooks.
88
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,378
I mean except for Evan.
He actually is a cook.
89
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,251
Well, technically,
I'm a sous chef.
90
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,450
That's true as turkey.
91
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,651
Ironically, a dish
I do not cook.
92
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,561
Wow. You know, when I was
in middle school,
93
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,857
we didn't have things like
computers and cell phones,
94
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,859
or indoor plumbing.
Or indoor anything, really.
95
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,301
We went to school outside
where teachers would just
throw pine cones at us.
96
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,741
Hey, that must be your bad
97
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,097
because if it was Heinz' Law,
it would've hit me right on...
98
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,773
See? See, like that.
(CRASH)
99
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,182
Okay, now it's not believable.
100
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,657
(CRASH)
101
00:04:39,662 --> 00:04:42,152
DOOFENSHMIRTZ: Seriously,
how many ceiling fans
are there in that one spot?
102
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,879
Nice work with
the inflatable, by the way.
103
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:49,545
Is that your go-to move?
Your MO? Your Murphy Operandi?
104
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:55,056
Well, not specifically a raft,
but it is important to be
prepared for any eventuality.
105
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,562
That's why I asked you to
pack your own backpack.
106
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,804
So what did you bring?
107
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,169
I got all kinds of things.
108
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,167
I got a waffle-into-
pancake-anator.
109
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,899
I got a gorilla shave-anator.
110
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,774
I got a cube
that makes pink foam.
111
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,443
Okay, class. Eyes up here
on my desk.
112
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,682
My beautiful, pitiful desk.
113
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,248
Today we'll be working with
the Bunsen burner.
114
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:14,377
So...
115
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:15,952
(SHRIEKS)
116
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,819
Murphy's Law! I got this one!
117
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,688
(EXPLOSION)
118
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:24,417
Okay, so the fire's out,
but hey, guys, don't get
that stuff in your mouth.
119
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,355
It's 70% horseradish.
120
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,758
MAN:
Are you sure you're
in the right place?
121
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,933
Yes, well, I was hoping to
exchange some information,
122
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,682
but clearly
I've made a mistake.
123
00:05:34,684 --> 00:05:37,444
You fellas continue with
your hootenanny
or whatever this is.
124
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,038
No, no, please. Join us.
125
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,180
Mr. Chaffy was about to speak.
Mr. Chaffy...
126
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:47,207
It was because of those aliens
that I got this bruise on
my head.
127
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,182
I remember it all so clear.
128
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,854
They had me strapped to some sort of examining table.
129
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,723
There were two of them. Maybe three.
130
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:59,693
Maybe more than that. A couple more. No, maybe less.
131
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,833
Well, there were less than six, I know that.
132
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,230
They were freakishly tall and gray.
133
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:09,372
I think maybe green. Maybe greenish-gray.
134
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,970
They could read my mind. They were getting into my brain.
135
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,473
And I couldn't take it any longer!
136
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,635
(SCREAMING)
137
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:16,712
(CLANGS)
138
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,982
And I woke up
with this bruise.
139
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,910
And that's a sure sign
of an alien abduction.
140
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,016
True as turkey.
141
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,747
There's no other explanation.
142
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:29,993
Fascinating. Now, can you tell
me exactly where and when
you had your encounter?
143
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,090
No, no, what is said in group,
stays in group.
144
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,193
Not everyone here is
comfortable announcing their
experiences to the world.
145
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,196
How about you Mr. Fancy Pants,
what's your story?
146
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:43,299
Hold on to your hats,
gentlemen, and prepare to
have your minds blown!
147
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,910
I mean those of you who have
one to blow.
148
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,710
DOOFENSHMIRTZ:
You maybe right, Milo.
149
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,552
The key to everything
is the backpack.
150
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,847
I think I...
151
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,348
Hey, someone could trip.
152
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,380
Back away from
the dangerous spheroid.
153
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,745
I could just pick it up...
154
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,553
Behold! The Shrinkinator!
155
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,686
(ZAPS LASER)
156
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,693
It's supposed to shrink,
I don't know why it got
so big...
157
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,696
Or I don't know why it's
moving on its own volition!
158
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,871
¶ Sometimes it looks like there is no solution
159
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,610
¶ You wish you had a stronger constitution
160
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,737
¶ Don't have to worry 'bout mistakes you made
161
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,784
¶ When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade
162
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,548
¶ Hey, whatcha gonna do?
163
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:33,791
¶ There's gotta be something that'll get you through
164
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:39,787
¶ The world is gonna shake you But don't you let it break you in two
165
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,233
¶ Oh yeah
166
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,898
¶ You can schedule and plan, but you gotta understand
167
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,498
¶ You're never really in control
168
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:51,871
¶ You gotta learn to let go and just roll with it ¶
169
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,642
Ah, see, it was working.
170
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,411
I just missed. I didn't make
the ball bigger.
171
00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,751
I made the school
and us smaller.
172
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:04,077
See? It worked.
It's working, it's...
173
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,984
It's functioning properly,
at least.
174
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,748
Wait a minute.
Where's the school?
175
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,490
(LASER ZAPS)
176
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:14,662
(YELLING)
177
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,530
Oh, no, not the ducks!
Not the ducks!
178
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,103
What I'm about to tell you
is top secret.
179
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:27,112
There's a clandestine
government agency that deals
with interstellar visitors.
180
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,307
ALL: I knew it.
181
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,308
The government has been
covertly covering up
182
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,210
the existence of aliens
altogether.
183
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,952
ALL: I knew it!
184
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:37,677
To the point that they appoint
people to pick up the
extraterrestrial's garbage.
185
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,750
Now, that's just crazy.
186
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:45,485
How stupid do you think
we are? Nobody would do that.
187
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:49,532
No, it's true. I worked for
the government agency PIG.
188
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,700
PIG?
189
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,457
Paranormal Investigation
Group.
190
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:56,296
Actually, I worked for the
subdivision of that group
which is also called PIG,
191
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,473
but it stands for Purveyors
of Intergalactic Garbage.
But you get the idea.
192
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:02,313
And once I proved the real
danger to my boss,
Mr. Blanc...
193
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,509
Your boss who makes you
pick up trash.
194
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,081
Yes, but you're missing
the point.
195
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,809
Which is what? That you're
some kinda alien garbage man?
196
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,175
No, I mean...
Yes, but in a way, but...
197
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,594
Are you makin' fun of us?
198
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,986
No, I'm not making fun of you
and believe me, that's taken
a lot of restraint,
199
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,089
because your gentlemen
are absolutely...
200
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:23,933
(DIOGEE BARKS)
201
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,501
Diogee, go home.
You shouldn't
be at school.
202
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:30,041
Oh, wait. Domestic animal
who's in the classroom.
203
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,937
Total candidate for
Murphy's Law.
204
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,069
I got this. Time for
the go-home-inator.
205
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,777
Is everyone beholding?
206
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,839
(LASER ZAPS)
207
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,918
Okay, I'm going home.
208
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,623
(PATIENT GROANS)
209
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,026
(ORGAN PLAYS)
210
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,257
(CROWD CHEERING)
211
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,096
Uh. Safe. I guess.
212
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,701
Mark my words.
Something strange is afoot.
213
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,365
There is more going on here
than anyone is telling you.
214
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,374
The aliens are among us!
215
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:13,946
He knows too much. We must
remove him from the equation.
216
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,346
Wait. Why are we going home?
217
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,516
(BARKS)
218
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:28,634
Yes! Another victory over
Murphy's Law!
219
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,999
Victory dance!
220
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,057
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
221
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,564
Yeah, that's right. I got it.
222
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:35,266
I got it. Look at me, mama.
223
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,168
I'm like a cereal commercial
from the '80s.
224
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,500
Ow!
225
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,667
I give up, Milo.
226
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,905
I packed my backpack, I tried
to do everything you do,
227
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:48,311
but I was still unable to deal
with all the bad stuff
that happened.
228
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,575
You know, you can seriously
limit the number of bad things
that happen to you
229
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,615
by thinking things through
a little better, Dr. D.
230
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:58,421
Thinking things through?
A little better?
231
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,355
Dr. D?
232
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,161
Hmm.
233
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,502
(WIND WHISTLING)
234
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,628
Yeah, I don't think
that's gonna happen.
235
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,203
¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶
236
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:18,778
Maintaining minimum safe
distance from designate
Milo Murphy.
237
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:22,009
Negative probability ions.
Moderate.
238
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,045
I already sent you
that form twice.
239
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,321
I know people say triplicate,
but nobody knows
what that means.
240
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,620
Why do I need to send you
a form if I'm already...
241
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,193
Look. I'm just trying to
command an intergalactic
space fleet.
242
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,332
So if somebody from
maintenance could just
come up...
243
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,997
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
Hello? Hello.
244
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:40,097
Pilot, where are my field
agents? They should've
been here by now.
245
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,203
Another one for the books!
246
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:48,844
Gentlemen. Impressive
camouflage, you are
my very best.
247
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,012
My favorites.
248
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,880
Oh, wait. We have more.
249
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,950
Yeah, no. No cows this time.
250
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:59,379
But I do need
your special talents.
251
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,546
Well, we are your favorites.
252
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,254
You said it, we didn't.
We said after you said it,
253
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,916
but we were just agreeing
with you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
254
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,825
I need you to recover
a biological tissue sample
255
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,628
from Earth human designate
Milo Murphy.
256
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,925
May I say, ma'am...
Uh, no, ma'am.
257
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,735
With respect, ma'am.
This is what happened
258
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,337
when we were just trying to
observe him.
259
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:25,575
And that's exactly why I'm
sending the two of you.
260
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,079
My favorites.
261
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,381
(BOTH GULP)
262
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,852
We're still her favorites.
263
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,951
She said it first.
264
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,764
I just hope he gets better
soon. For his sake and
for ours.
265
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,191
I actually had to take the bus
to school today.
266
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,526
I'm boring myself just
talking about it.
267
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,932
Hey, Mrs. Murphy.
Hey, kids.
268
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,874
Milo's upstairs. Thanks for
bringing his homework by.
269
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:52,902
So how bad is he?
270
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,106
Oh, I think he'll be fine
by tomorrow.
271
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,378
Usually, Murphy's Law tends to
ebb a bit when Milo is sick.
272
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,578
So it's a good time for him
to rest up.
273
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,550
And the rest of us
to get some work done.
274
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:07,549
I'm making a costume based
on the Guark Captain from
episode 264b of season 10...
275
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,024
And that's our cue.
276
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,317
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
277
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,694
Come in.
278
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:15,788
How's it going, guys?
279
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,056
We're leaving. We just
brought your homework.
280
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,098
Oh, goodie.
281
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,070
No! Don't come any closer.
I mean don't get up.
282
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:31,905
Feel better, patient zero.
Be strong.
283
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,580
Feel better soon. It's boring
out here without you.
284
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,151
Nailed it.
Yeah, we did.
285
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,727
¶ Agent P ¶
286
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,935
Ah, Perry the Platypus,
how domestic of you
to stop by.
287
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,609
What do you think of
my new digs?
288
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,977
I know you've seen the place
before, but look,
I put up a new sign.
289
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:07,147
Doofenshmirtz Good
Incorporated, see?
290
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,517
¶ Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated ¶
291
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,117
I have no idea
where that comes from.
292
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,489
Anyway I'm serious about
this "good" thing.
293
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,458
And I'm so glad you're here.
I want your feedback
on something.
294
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:23,488
I'm thinking of creating
an alter ego like
"Do-gooder Doof."
295
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,256
Like a superhero
kind of thing.
296
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,395
I have to admit.
I did go buy a costume,
297
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,671
and there it is right over
by the shed.
298
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,371
And I may have tried it on
just to see if it fits.
299
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,814
And I did take Diogee for
a walk with it on,
300
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:41,650
but I must admit, all modesty
aside, I cut quite a dashing
figure in it. Right, Diogee?
301
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:45,378
Right? Right? Oh, what does
he know, he's just a dog.
302
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,315
You know, I'm gonna put on
the costume again.
303
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,720
You can be my sidekick.
What do you say?
304
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:54,093
Do-gooder Doof, and his
platypus partner in...
Not... Not crime...
305
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,834
In, in some other thing.
306
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:58,829
Some good thing.
I'm sure there are
plenty of good things
307
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,932
you and I and my inators
can do together.
308
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:07,067
Do-gooder Doof. I'm gonna
go put on the costume.
309
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,073
I don't know why it's
chicken-themed. That's all
they had at the store.
310
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,752
Thank you once again, Agent P,
for keeping an eye on
Doofenshmirtz.
311
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:23,293
Even doing good, he's
dangerous, so I know you have
your work cut out for you.
312
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,490
In the meantime, Carl wanted
me to give you these.
313
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,962
They taste better
than they look.
314
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,928
That's not saying much.
315
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,238
The quicker we get to the
second level where the Milo
designate is,
316
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,938
the faster we can...
317
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,110
Okay, who put the sundial
in the living room?
318
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,852
And for that matter,
when did we get a sundial?
319
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,656
I'm running out of
impressions.
320
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,557
Dude, I'm running
out of breath.
321
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,629
(BOTH GASP)
322
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,464
(SNIFFING)
323
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,402
Copycat.
324
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,469
What? I panicked.
325
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,996
Hey, Diogee. Are you hungry?
326
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,421
¶ Ah yeah, yeah ¶
327
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:37,596
¶ He's got noble intentions but his recent inventions
328
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:41,127
¶ Just highlight his messed up planning skills
329
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:44,774
¶ He's just trying to do good and do the things that he should
330
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:48,641
¶ But if you see him coming you might wanna head for the hills
331
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:52,281
¶ Don't wanna start a fight, he's trying to do what's right
332
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,708
¶ So we oughta wish him success
333
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:59,815
¶ I know his feeling's right, don't wanna seem myopic
334
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:05,089
¶ But he's really making such a spill
335
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,861
¶ He's a Do-gooder Doof, he's trying to help you out
336
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,802
¶ But it's not the kind of help that you need or want
337
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:16,299
¶ No, he's not the kind of hero that you dreamed about
338
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:21,242
¶ He's like an idiot savant but without the savant
339
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,311
¶ He's a Do-gooder Doof
340
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,639
¶ Yes, he is
341
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,644
¶ He's a Do-gooder Doof
342
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,183
¶ Oh yeah, yeah
343
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:32,182
¶ He's a Do-gooder Doof He's a Do-gooder Doof
344
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,815
¶ He's a Do-gooder Doof
345
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,450
¶ Oh, no, no ¶
346
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,429
BOTH: Blecch!
347
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,225
It ate food out of my mouth.
348
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,400
I think it licked my tongue.
Does that mean
we're married now?
349
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,170
(SNARLING)
350
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,236
What is it, boy?
351
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,597
(DIOGEE BARKING)
352
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,566
I'm just taking a soup
to Milo.
353
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,981
(SNARLING)
354
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,588
Come on, buddy.
Let's let him sleep, okay?
355
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:13,518
(WHIMPERING)
356
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,127
Ahh!
357
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,866
This is terrible!
358
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,028
This house is a deathtrap!
359
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:26,866
All right, all right.
Just keep it down, okay?
360
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,543
World's bossiest dog.
361
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,841
(DIOGEE BARKING)
362
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,784
No! Stay away from my mouth!
363
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,652
(MILO MUTTERING)
364
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,180
(BARKING)
365
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,621
The window!
Let's get outta here!
366
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,799
It's worse than it looks!
367
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,530
Abort the mission!
368
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:59,135
No, silly, that's not
what they smell like.
369
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,973
Moo! We're a cow,
moo, see?
370
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,737
Throw me outta here!
371
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:13,985
(BARKING)
372
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,690
Amateurs!
373
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,264
I'll get the tissue sample
myself.
374
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,004
At least we're her
favorite amateurs.
375
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,438
I think this Doof gooder
thing is working out.
376
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,040
Thank you, Agent P.
From the entire
tri-state area.
377
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,614
We did do a good job, didn't
we... Hey, what are you doing
here, Francis?
378
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,684
Oh! Bad timing.
Must be getting rusty.
379
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:47,293
Wait a minute,
Perry the Platypus.
Are you working right now?
380
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:51,557
But we were saving the city
together, one good deed
at a time.
381
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,528
We were pals.
We were... (SIGHS)
382
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,787
Sorry, Doof,
regardless of your good
intentions,
383
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,826
your inators are doing
what they always do.
384
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,631
Causing trouble and
wreaking havoc.
385
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,333
The only reason it's not
worse is because Agent P
has been there,
386
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,866
every step of the way,
cleaning up your messes.
387
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,142
(STAMMERS) Is, is that true,
Perry the Platypus?
388
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:12,212
I'll, uh, I'll see
myself out.
389
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:17,652
I thought you were my friend,
Perry the Platypus,
but you're not.
390
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,790
You're my babysitter.
That's it, Perry the Platypus.
We are through.
391
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:24,917
I know we've had our rough
patches before, everyone does,
but this time
392
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:28,994
you hurt me,
Perry the Platypus!
393
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,155
You hurt me!
394
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:35,368
¶ Agent P ¶
395
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,998
Did he like my cookies?
396
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,803
Nobody likes your cookies,
Carl.
397
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,012
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
398
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,253
(SNIFFING)
399
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:03,086
Ah, I love you too, Mom.
400
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,297
(SNARLING)
401
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,909
The negative probability ion's
reading is off the chart.
402
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:25,384
We've never seen anything
like it. He is the one, ma'am.
403
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:28,045
We're ready for phase two.
404
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,224
The abduction of Milo Murphy.
405
00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:32,964
(SNEEZES)
406
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:35,029
¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it
407
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,395
¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go
408
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,828
¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational
409
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,373
¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go
410
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,735
¶ Whoa
411
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:52,141
¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn
412
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:53,635
¶ You know I'd rather spin it
413
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,846
¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go
414
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:55,878
¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶
33291
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